孤独

Silence came in many different waves, but the one ushered onto this moment was of a comforting stillness. There was no feeling of regret nor doubt casted upon her mind as what stood before her began to weep against her sleeve. At this current moment, there was no feeling of anything that would akin this being before her as anything else than a child. Just a small boy who needed something stable to lay a solid foundation on and be able to grow from there. No matter the many years he’d lived up until this point, it would all be shed clean on this very night as his life would hopefully change for the better. “ Very well. ” Her calming voice hummed. Another moment of quiet filling the air as she gave him time to filter through the emotions that came to the boy in a flurry. Yet, the moment did not last nearly as long as the last and she eventually had to pull away.

“ I shall be back in three days. Until then, please wait here safely and patiently. ” There was confidence within her soft tone. One that would be expected of high ranking slayers, albeit without the gentleness that rolled off her lips with every word spoken. In reality, it was only an estimate on how long she’d be gone. There was always a chance that something or someone could interfere and make her mission much more complicated. However, she could never show any unwavering emotion nor uncertainty with who she was as it was instilled onto her at such a young age.

Offering no resistance then. At the cautious movement of the other’s haori. The spacious sleeves that ghosted up, catching whole those unbidden tears that slipped free.

He knew far too well already. Everything had to end. Time and time again. She could not linger here. In this bleak darkness. And yet, this gentle tug of loneliness rising still. At the thought of her retreating back. As she moved forward on. Towards her mission. Unable to stifle the murmured sigh that escaped as she had somewhat reluctantly drawn away at last.

Large eyes gazing up. Sliding to his knees, unbidden, the ground.

Nearly completely hidden by the soft flurry of snow, falling like muted stars.

Flickers of trepidation just beneath. Wary, a dull note ringing, if she was truly going to return. If during her mission she realized the child waiting was no different from the creature she was going to rend asunder. A demon. A monster. Coming to her senses and vanishing into that empty night. Leaving behind only this lonely child in that unyielding darkness.

Hoping, just once more...

Even if his true parents tried to kill him and his false parents were terrified of him, too weak to protect the spider demon. Wishing, wanting to dream. Just one. More. Time.

Mitsuri couldn’t really say anything at first after hearing that. She may seem silly at first, and not take things seriously. But she’s the sort for love, and smiles. It’s why she is the love pillar. Even if it was her job to exterminate these demons, she could at least feel for their pain and suffering, much more so when it’s cases like this.

Keeping herself together, as she didn’t want to get too emotional, and show that she’s vulnerable.

Mitsuri knew she had a job to do, and she isn’t gonna come trusting and letting a demon go by any time soon. But she also knows she cannot just jump in and attack right away.  Doing such would be a wrong move on her part, as the other isn’t a typical demon.

“I see…It’s a common worry to have…I have it, you have it, all of us have in one form or another, and it is a shame. We should all be loved, we should all be cared for. I am sorry that you’ve had to go through this.”Mitsuri nods. She at least was being concentrate.

“Do you feel more alone now? Or do you feel that your family has given you the love that you desire?”

A beat of silence then, azure hues wavering. 

Lingering quietly, slowly tearing his gaze away from the hashira before him. Gazing somewhere, anywhere, but those imploring eyes. That somehow made Rui greatly unsettled. As if the woman was peering right through that small figure, huddled closely against the dark night.

A family...Whom had only pandered to his every whim.

One built not upon things such as ‘trust’ nor ‘love.’ Rather, carved with only fear, suffering, and hatred. Being the strongest, they were rightfully terrified of him. Of his ever changing moods.

Being the strongest, there was no one who could truly shield him. Protect him.

The demons he had gathered. They had played those important roles, filling those agonizing spaces, at that time, he could not comprehend. Could not quite remember those who were previously in those places, with gentle hands warm as the sun. 

Casting a family of his own, woven of sinewy threads of this silly, foolish, desire. Of the boy’s petulant delusions. In hopes of recovering memories of his human life long since faded into the bleak darkness.

And yet, it mattered little in the end. It had not sated at all that lingering desire. The sweltering loneliness, the sharp notes of pain... 

Youko watched in silence as the storm of emotions danced along Rui’s face; eyes reflecting all that his expression would not tell. Yet, it was not until the tears began to trail down and trickle down his face like little rain drops, that she finally spoke up. “ If there was something that I had set that had possibly made you upset, I apologize. ” She quieted her voice into a more soothing and soft tone– almost motherly in quality, yet not quite. “ Even now, I can clearly see that you’ve retained more human qualities than that of a demon. ” Stepping closer towards the boy, her haori jingled quietly with her short steps until she paused once more. She knew full well that despite the qualities he was displaying, he was still very much a demon and held onto the incredible strength and abilities that came with it. Yet, her eyes saw nothing but a broken child within this very moment. It was due to these reasons that, while taking caution with her actions, still made the movements to get closer to the boy.

“ What I see in front of me is no monster, but someone who needs a place to call home and be given proper guidance rather than to be fueled by malice and hatred. Such a thing can be… tiresome, on a person. ” As the words were uttered from her lips, Youko move one hand up slowly and delicately as her eyes kept watch onto the boy. There was a moment of delay as she stopped, almost as if she was silently asking if it was okay, before the sleeve of her own haori was used to help clean his face of the tears.

Studying fastidiously every last detail.

Unable, unwilling, to pull away…

Merely quietly gazing, azure hues cast in a near intense fixation, at the woman’s gentle eyes. That radiated warmth like a luminescent beacon against the dark chill of the night. As if the rest of the world simply falling away..

Though this slayer still wore that familiar sword upon one hip. Finding it difficult at that moment to be fearful, wary even. As she had cautiously shuffled closer to Rui. Not as if on edge the boy might attack, but rather each move closer as if afraid of startling him. Fleeing back into a cruel world that only bore razor sharp teeth and talons. Cast in only pointless bloodshed...

Perhaps due to that slender hand lifting out to him in silent inquiry. Perhaps because he could see the lingering stars of comfort, of warmth that flashed just behind those kind eyes.

Something whispered, this was fine. This was...safe..

So enraptured. Even as that soft rain of heavy tears continued to fall, staining the younger’s cheeks.

Offering no resistance then, when that delicate hand slowly ghosted nearer still. As the long sleeve of her own haori gently aided, to wipe away those tears of so many years of pain and loneliness...

Instead only drawing closer, burying his face within that soft sleeve of the woman’s haori. Long lashes fluttering closed once more.

That gentle voice ringing like bells in the suffocating hush, sparking notes of something so familiar. That lulled into a peaceful calm. A brief moment of respite, of sanctuary..

The cold buffeted her haori, green flashing about amongst whites and grays. She could smell the scents of the living much easier during this time, when the snow covered all the plants and trees. She had sensed the demon easily, having taken on his little family for most of the evening and night.

Even though instinct urged her forward to slay the demon, she felt odd. There was a heavy, mournful scent coming from him. Demons almost never had such a scent, especially while alive and kicking.

“Looking for you, I suppose.” Robin announced, voice soft. A lone wolf amongst where a pack had been, her teeth tearing them apart. She had prayed for each of their souls. (O’ Kami-sama, please don’t let them be reborn as demons.)

Curiosity won out. The slayer remained firm in place, not daring to move unless absolutely necessary. The wolf breathes, and exhales, fog curling about fair lips.

“You’re upset. But not the way I figured you would be. I can smell your grief. Why?”

Always alone….

Even the supposed ‘bonds’ of his fake family falling away into nothing. Just like spider webs, so fragile...

Trying to create a ‘family’ in such a precocious manner had neither sated nor ebbed that sweltering loneliness. Only deepening it...

His parents as well. They had seen what he had already become. They couldn’t bear the weight of the sins of their own child. Couldn’t bear the thought of him living on in this place as a ruthless monster. Stealing away lives of innocents.

No, they had chosen to attempt to end the boy’s life rather than leave him here to only bring suffering and despair to everyone around. The boy’s very presence a curse upon this world....

A thought he could barely stomach. Yet the contract was already signed in Rui’s blood. There was no undoing the damage done.

Blindly attempting to sate the hurt, the guilt, by crafting a faux family. A scattered group of random demons. No blood ties to bind them..Just fear, hatred....

In all honesty, he didn’t deserve another chance. Not any longer...

Half lidded hues flickering towards bare feet again. Taken back by the sudden inquiry. Strange. Most surely would have been running in fear or attempting to rend his head from his neck at this point..

𝒦𝓊𝓂♡ ♡𝓃𝒾

Slender fingers pet the snow white locks belonging to her ‘son’. The Mother preformed this action repeatedly and robotically. As many times as it takes to put out the flames of his temper! Kiya doesn’t mind! 

So far…Rui seems to be content with the steps she has taken to show faux affection. The razor sharp instruments used for her torture are nowhere in sight when suggesting that they embrace each other. Yes, this is the far better option of how to spend time with the Lower Moon! Now that the young boy is in her arms, there’s a false sense of safety and even control on her end. It’s as if she can forbid further punishment by keeping him in place with the bait of familial love. A shaky sigh of relief spilled from her lips. All prior tension washed away from her features. It’s then she pushed the boundary a tad further by resting her chin on his shoulder, giving him a soft squeeze.

❝Doesn’t this feel NICE? I-I can brush your hair for you, too!❞

The heavy hush clinging, suffocating, within the very air.  The frigid chill set within the luminescent night. As those slender fingertips ghosted up. Carefully, cautiously, stroking soft locks of pale lavender...

Azure hues absently tumbling towards the ground. The once irate expression etched upon delicate features seeping away around the edges. Placated then by those seeking touches. Despite how the lithe arms that held him close trembled slightly still in lingering fear. Utterly oblivious.

Sinewy threads of razor sharp webs vanishing, half lidded hues painted not of vicious anger nor disgust, but rather becoming still once more. The boy's face utter calm. Merely allowing himself to sit quietly within his mother's lap.

The gentle coos, though quaking lowly, hitting all the right notes. A perfect melody of parental comfort. Of bonds.

This was right. They were a family, after all. It was only natural for a mother to comfort their child when they got upset.This family that no human could ever possibly hope to comprehend.

Resting his head upon one delicate shoulder. Giving a low hum, then. At the wary sensation of the older's chin lightly resting then upon Rui's shoulder.  Murmurs of bonds louder, ringing within his very ears as she held him closer still...

Giving a short nod of her head, the Hashira continued once more. “ I would not have offered it it was not alright. ” It was very much a risk, but nobody would go against her ideas given who she was and much less who her family was. Yet, Youko did not like to use her status for selfish and whimsical ideals, so she would put a promise on this chance she was taking as well. “ Of course, I would be placing a vow on myself by taking you in, but we can discuss that at another time. ” After all, there was no need to get into too much details since there is still the question of if this demon could withhold his side of the bargain until she returned. It was his first of many tests that would ultimately prove whether he still had some shreds of humanity left in him and how far he was willing to change. “ After all, the only reason these fights continue is because of Muzan’s influence and his spread of demons that kill us for what? ” In reality… would it of been different had demons not slaughtered people for fun and sport along with killing so many just to eat. “ Just know that if you accept this, you are going against him and ultimately helping us. However, I promise you this that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe if you can manage this. ” Her words alone on this were fierce and unwavering. Youko would never back down from what she’s offered and truly did mean it when she said that she would keep him out of harms way; not only from the slayers, but to other demons as well.

“ Nobody deserves to be lost, my dear. I can not fathom what you’ve gone through before you had turn into a demon, nor anything afterwards. ” Carefully, Youko plucked her sword from where it remained buried into the snow and began sheathing it back into the scabbard that rested along her hip. “ Maybe… you can make some real bonds while on this new path. ”

Azure hues heavily flickering, then. 

An unreadable expression etched upon pale features. Though those bleak and desolate eyes shining radiantly in the luminescent night. An unsung chorus of deafening desires. Peeling back that more static expression for one a little more vulnerable…

One a little more..human.. 

This feeling…One so achingly familiar....

This flickering, fading, hope. No more than a mere game of a precocious child. One he had played time and time again. Seeking, with trembling hands, with that heavy mask sewn into place, bonds he could never truly grasp again.

Yet this dim ember never dying, smoldering only in pain and loneliness and guilt. Creating his false family hadn’t helped. Finally Rui had given up, fallen in despair. Trying to smother any chance, any hope, he might still bear. 

Calling, beckoning, to a place where he might truly belong. Guided by steady threads of family. Of true bonds...Just wanting….to go home.

Yet there’s something intensely different in how his heart briefly skips now. 

This sweltering sensation he had not even felt once trapped within his own play, with the curtain always up, with his faux family. It was always no more than mere background noise, a dizzying din of mindless static.

So why??

Why, when this woman spoke of gentle promises of a new future, of true bonds, did he feel so.....

Half lidded hues, tumbling towards bare feet again, stinging hotly.. Unable to stop then the hapless tears that spilled forth in a sudden rush like warm rain.

“ I see… ” Her words were soft as she nodded from hearing his name; of trouble or with evil influence– it seemed fitting for a demon, but perhaps not any more yet such a thing would have to be tested. Maybe, if all is said and done– should her idea and thoughts come to fruition, that his name would be of a different meaning. Still, her gaze remained unwavering despite the frosty touch that took hold of her skin through her slayer outfit; cold and numbing to the touch. “ Yes, I would like to make a deal with you. You seem… like a lost soul– just a boy who needs guidance and something firm to hold onto: a purpose. ” For a moment, Youko let her eyes close as small snowflakes latched onto her lashes and decorated them in pearly white beauty. “ So… I’d like to make a deal with you. ”

Allowing her lids to flutter open, her gaze was now set as determined as she continued speaking. Perhaps the weight of her training was bearing down on her tone, making sound more convincing and steady despite how much of a risk such an ideal was. “ I will let you live and continue on towards my mission, but I’ll come back here after I am finished. ” Youko started, staring at Rui dead point into his eyes with gentle steadiness– like the calm before a storm. “ Should you not harm nor eat any humans within this timeframe, I would like to offer you a chance to come with me. I can give you a place amongst people and you would have to earn your respect amongst them. ” “ … but at the same time, I will help guide you– to help you find a purpose again. You may be of demon blood now, but there seems to still be some humanity left within you. ” At the mention of this, her lips curved up into a kind and warm smile. The Hashira then stood up, letting small clumps of snow fall from her outfit as she balanced herself by using the handle of her blade as a support beam. “ This is a new future for you, that I would like to offer. ”

That softly falling snow, like a curtain of luminescent stars glowing in a gentle fire beneath the radiant light of the full moon. The entire world outside this tiny forest, this clearing, falling away. Leaving only this....

Only them.

The frigid chill set deep within the air, the thick snow that blanketed the mountain, wiping everything clean. Though the pure white fabric of younger’s yukata was thin, though those small feet bare, it bothered him little.

Gazing at those radiant eyes that sweltered in a warmth, just like bonds, the boy could never fully hope to grasp again. 

It was foolish, pointless, to dream. He knew well enough...

Spinning web upon web of only beautiful lies. Woven deeply of only his twisted delusions. Delusions that his parents might truly have been happy that Rui had gained a strong and healthy body. That those castoff dolls of his false family could fill all those bleak holes.

All of those pretty lies seeping, pouring, from behind the cracks within that stoic, porcelain, mask.

All of it crashing down. Slipping through quivering fingertips....

The soothing melody of comfort burning within each word. A sensation akin to something he had felt so long ago. One he could only just remember. Of his parents. Of rough, calloused, hands gently grasping the boy’s face. Gazing lovingly at Rui as if he were their morning and evening star...

He was their entire world...And they were his.

Azure hues sharply snapping up, at long last, then. As the world itself fell away. The heavy hush that clung, suffocating, in the air...

A promise of a new future? Was a thing even possible for a creature such as himself? A curse, a very blight, upon this world. A black hole that could only devour bright radiant stars into that unforgiving darkness.

In a way. Mitsuri was in the same boat, not fully, but she has her doubts, her regrets, but she’s not kept a count of how many souls she has put to rest in this cruel, cruel world. Looking down upon her blades for a moment, keeping her grip on them, before staring back at the other.

“You poor soul. You don’t seem happy about it at all. Even after all you’ve done, all you’ve worked for. You don’t seem truly happy with it at all…Which is a shame…True happiness i pure, true happiness is everything that one should go for.”

“…Misturi does not mean look like I’m making fun, or judging you…But it all isn’t right, or sounding right for that matter. Have you ever thought…Of letting it all go? Letting it all end peacefully, so you can go into the sunset, finally at peace with the world?”

It was as if she was trying to not get into a fight at first, she’s prepared if need be, but she wouldn’t want things to get ugly and violent. It’s much more pleasing to be at a happier and more calmer  Mitsuri knows this is a false effort, but she’ll be ready if push comes to shove.

“Tis your choice~ Not Mitsuris. But Mitsuri is ready for whichever choice you end up making.”

Be it pity in those complacent hues, that shone bright with wavering determination. Yes, ready to rend his head from his neck if he so desired.

After all, it wasn't as if he had a place within this world. He had no spot among neither humans nor demons. Creating those false bonds of his ‘family’ had done nothing to help. The emptiness only lingering deeper, longer still...

His parents as well. They saw what he had become. Couldn't bear the weight of the sins of their own child. Couldn't bear the thought of him living on in this world as a ruthless monster. Stealing away lives of innocents. 

No, they had chosen to attempt to end the boy's life rather than leave him here to only bring suffering and despair to everyone around. The boy’s very presence a curse upon this world..

Rui knew what it meant. To sign his life away to that man, to live as a demon. Yet at the time, knowing nothing at all. About the consequences that were to be born from such an innocent and eager wish.

He had been so young, after all. Naïve..How could his parents teach him not to talk to strangers when Rui had always been too weak to do so anyway??

Yet looking back now, was pointless. The contract already signed with the boy's blood. Sealing his fate forever. 

Yes, this was the price of strong body...This was the fee owed for an impossible dream....

In the end, there was only himself that he could blame...

Yet still...Unable to stop blindly reaching for bonds he could never fully grasp again...

That small frame huddled within the meager protection of the night, beneath that pallid moonlight.

That same petulant expression crumbling away. Like drops of smoldering rain, melting into nothing. Leaving only a curious expression etched upon the child’s features.

And that was all he had ever been.

Trapped within the boundaries of this ‘family.’ Within himself. Those unshakable  ‘bonds’ of his family, of his own delusions. Sitting absently and spinning web upon web of beautiful lies. Casting himself within his own demented dreams. As well as anyone who dared to get too close.

Yet just like spider webs, dreams were far too easy to break. One touch could shatter everything…

Radiant hues flickering up then. Upon the steady melody of a familiar voice, of soft footsteps. Turning upon one bare heel, idly peering at the older demon. Gazing at those curious hues, painted in luminescent jades.

Pale features softening then upon recognizing at once the other demon. Neatly slipping that stoic façade so perfectly back in place.

Even as a fellow lower moon, their paths rarely crossed, usually only whenever Muzan summoned all of the lower six.

That small frame huddled within the meager protection of the night, beneath that pallid moonlight. Delicate shoulders slouched so, slender arms wrapped so close, as if staving off the chill that he had not felt in so long.

Piece by piece of that crumbling facade peeling away. The mask sewn upon troubled features.

That fractious expression long since gone. Like drops of molten rain melting into nothing, leaving only a curious introspection painted upon pale features. Uncertain vulnerability peeking just beneath peeling layers of immutable clay. Those radiant eyes that flickered up looking more of a child lost, than a feral beast who ate human flesh.

And that was all he had ever been.

No more than a stubborn child always in the midst of a temper tantrum.  A miserable and pitiable creature born from a simple wish that, somewhere along the way, had gotten so horribly skewed.

Trapped within the wretched boundaries of this ‘family’ lost. Within himself. Those unshakable strands of bonds, of his own illusions. Sitting idly and spinning web after web of beautiful lies. Casting himself within his own demented dreaming. As well as anyone who dared to get too close.

Yet just like webs, dreams were so very easy to break. One touch could destroy everything…

Sooner or later. Everything had to end. Nothing within this world could last. The curtain had already fallen upon his make believe family crafted of empty dolls…..

A beat of silence then.

Azure hues, flickering up. Upon the steady melody of strange steps. Turning  then upon one bare heel, absently peering at the strange intruder. Catching absently upon a flash of deep blonde. Eyes painted in startling cerulean.

The sword upon the intruder’s hip.

Yet it was even more puzzling a sight to see now, the lone demon slayer ascending the spider’s mountain. Trudging loudly through the snow…

Eyeing the demon up and down one last time, the Hashira carefully withdrew her sword from its resting spot along her hips. Pale gold shimmering amongst the snowy atmosphere as a hue of soft pinks melded with the golds. Another soft jingle echoed atop the mountain, breaking the silence as Youko carefully moved closer towards the boy. Her haori and sword now singing songs in harmony as bells jingled before slowly stopping once more– feet landing her just a few inches away from him. Soft lilac orbs resting along the smaller figure in front of her, seemingly so lonely and almost afraid. It made a short frown form on her lips. It was truly a shame, thinking about how mere children and teens were even strewn into this almost never-ending spiral of suffering and blood bath. Even so, it was her duty to make this place a much safer world for humans to allow no more suffering to continue–  no more hate and endless torment that everyone had to face. So… she raises her sword up, blade gleaming brightly and almost illuminated by the moons beams, where she held there for a moment before striking down– down into nothingness. Her blade, now resting in the snow as she feigned her sword swing. Rather, Youko moved pass her sword and knelt down in front of the demon as her eyes searched his own before speaking. “ Tell me… what is your name? ” He seemed different compared to the other demons she’d come across. She was by no means a cold-blooded human, as she had every interest to ensure people were safe. As her experience within the field grew, she’d learned to pick up on key components throughout her journey.

“ I have never met one such as you, that with great abilities, would rather be forgotten. ” Perhaps the guilt was settling in, or even the slimmest chance of a demon uncovering their lost memories had made them realize again who they used to be. There was still quite a lot that was unknown about demons to humans, but over the course of generations, their understandings had slowly grown. “ I would like to propose something to you instead, if you are interested. ”

Even then, upon the muted ring of steel tearing through the thick curtain of silence behind. The younger not so much as even flinching. No clumsily attempts to flee back into the night, nor retaliate against the woman who deftly wielded it. Knowing well enough that she could easily rend his head from his neck if she so desired...

Creating those false bonds of his ‘family’ had done nothing to help. The emptiness only lingering deeper, longer still...

His parents as well. They saw what he had already become. They couldn’t bear the weight of the sins of their own child. Couldn't bear the thought of him living on in this place as a ruthless monster. Stealing away lives of innocents.

No, they had chosen to attempt to end the boy's life rather than leave him here to only bring suffering and despair to everyone around. The boy’s very presence a curse upon this world..

He had been so young, after all. Naïve. Yet looking back now was pointless. The contract already signed with Rui’s blood. Sealing his fate forever.

Yes, this was the price of a strong body...This was the fee owed for an impossible dream....

In the end, the only one to blame was himself. Yet still...Unable to stop blindly reaching for bonds he could never fully grasp again...

❝   …...Rui. My name is Rui.  ❞

Bracing then nearly, for the final blow. Long lashes fluttering closed. Casting soft shadows upon pale cheeks. Waiting for the swift strike that would surely rain down upon him. Slender brows furrowed not in ire nor sweltering notes of panic. But rather an odd sense of complacency etched upon the child's expression. One almost of peace...

Yet those desolate hues peeking then, peering through a curtain of windswept bangs. As he heard not the final melody of the slayer’s blade aiming straight for his neck, but only the soft sounds of cautious steps. Gazing with widening eyes as the woman knelt down low, so that their eyes could meet...