solar solstice

"Family is what you make of it." Is what she decides her response is gonna be to them. Wasn't that the case for this little gathering of misfits? "But it's alright. I'm not really sure what to call myself in all this, either." Like, sure, she could just say she was his girlfriend, but why was she suddenly feeling so shy about it?

"But as far as names go, you can call me Neff."

Their head cants slightly to the side as she speaks. Eyes roam over her for a moment, assessing. Quiet. This one's face... they've seen it in the weave before, but never had they thought they'd come to see her face to face and not merely within fate's design. How... intriguing. Suppose that even after all this time, even they could still be surprised after all.

"If we are speaking biologically, then he is not my family, no. Nor do I think... on a technical level, either." Doll shakes their head, a hand moving to rest under their chin. A moment of consideration. If their relationship made them family, then they supposed it was close enough. Maybe? These things tended to confuse the harbinger.

"Neff... that is a name I have not heard before. It is a pleasure."

― FFXIV : DARK KNIGHT QUESTS.

a collection of starter prompts taken from the dark knight job quests in ffxiv - there may be spoilers for these quests. change pronouns and gender as needed.

after witnessing a spectacle like that, everyday life seems rather dull in comparison…

even after he took several wounds, he showed no sign of pain - though there was no mistaking the blood.

open your eyes. look. do you see now? do you see?

there's a darkness within us all - nothing dangerous, mind.

now, bear in mind that while the darkness gives you strength, that strength comes at cost.

that is but one sacrifice, though - and justice demands many.

we're not here for her; we're here for you.

fear, pain, rage - that which lies in the deepest depths of our soul makes for a potent fuel.

the first step over the threshold is always the hardest.

but drink not too deep, lest the flames consume you…

those of you who yet live, remember this horror!

punctual as ever, i see.

do not, however, presume the risks to be any less than before.

i want you to kill something for me.

come on, let's get this over with. i know you're not having second thoughts.

i pity the man who dies without scars.

i’ve sins aplenty, aye, but regrets? not so much.

don't pretend you haven't done this before.

strength is pain. strength is suffering. strength is sacrifice.

close your eyes and hold out your hand towards me

listen to my voice. listen to your heartbeat.

breathe deep through your nose - let the air fill your lungs, then let it pass from your lips. slower, slower…

yet no good deed goes unpunished, does it?

to mete out justice, one must be strong - a simple truth which you already knew, of course.

it begins, as always, with blood.

offer yourself to them. they will come.

remember this feeling. treasure it.

it's time to play the hero!

i mean, look at yourself. most of that's not even your blood!

leave it. you've nothing to be ashamed of.

they know nothing of true sacrifice, and are weak for their ignorance.

in sacrifice there is strength. in sacrifice there is liberation.

at the very least, you must realize that you cannot continue to carry all these burdens…

those who have never known true sacrifice quake at the sight of it.

you know i'm trying to help you, don't you? all of this is for your benefit.

you listen, but you don't understand -

you're the stubborn type. i know that.

..never much cared for the ocean, myself.

i kill your enemies. i fetch your things. i do what you people can't or won't do yourselves.

you're helpless. weak. all you do is want and need.

you must see now what it's doing to us… what they're doing to us…

i wish i could tell you. i wish i could make you see.

felt good, didn't it? seeing that sniveling wretch tremble.

…you stand at the precipice, but do not fear the fall.

ask, and we shall quit this place forever.

only when you have renounced everything are you free to do anything.

this could be the greatest moment of our life…

say my name. say it. my real name.

what you wanted was a mentor.

deny me all you want - you cannot deny what we have done.

a house divided cannot stand, you know.

this childish rebellion ends now.

have i not been good to you? have i not given you everything i promised?

you can't really kill me, you know.

they have borne witness to the darkness within us…

wipe the slate clean. forgive and forget!

darkness dwells within us all, but few are forced to confront it as you are.

well? are you going to kill him, or shall i?

this is the part where you beg for your life.

…i pray you do not make a habit of following men plotting to kill you into secluded areas.

mercy, some would call it. idiocy, i name it.

if i have to drown in the abyss to see it done, i will!

..don't be foolish. you've naught to apologize for.

i couldn't tell when it was raining - whether it was day or night…

…it's not a sin if someone made you do it.

..i should've had them cut out your tongue.

am i supposed to be grateful when you come back covered in blood? when i put you back together so you can do it again!?

you drag me to halfway across the world so you can discover a new way to kill yourself, and you tell me it's for my sake!?

she's just a burden to you. so why do you care what happens to her?

…mayhap it was all but a convenient excuse to indulge in vengeance.

i bore that monster into this world!

for everything that you are - that you have done - you are still her mother.

i will follow you to the ends of the world, if i must.

for a long time, i prayed for forgiveness. i prayed you would take me in your arms and hold me as you did before…

is not this world filled with sadness and despair?

i… i will never be a hero.

it is not death itself we fear, but the unfinished story.

it is enough to break a heart... and a man.

i'm only trying to put the fear of the gods into the little shite, but by all means, go ahead and undermine my authority!

yet the brighter the light, the deeper the shadow.

for all your victories, for all your accomplishments, you cannot turn your mind from the failures.

that which was taken has been reclaimed, but we are not yet whole.

no one can accuse you of not giving the man a chance.

do be sure to wipe the blood from your boots before meeting [ name ].

a lie, however sweet, is nevertheless a lie.

fight, if it be your will, and if the gods show you favor, then so be it.

i knew you would understand. how could you not?

life here is not easy, but it is fulfilling all the same.

a swift death is more than that bastard deserves.

pain is all that is left to her, don't you see?

they say the war's over now, but it never ends for people like you, does it?

she is still a good person. and so are you.

can there be truth in a lie.. .and perhaps salvation as well...?

a lesser man would be tempted to forget, but we know better.

it's not as though i threatened to kill every last one of them and burn their village to cinders. not recently, at least.

here you can immerse yourself in the beauty and the calm, and forget the horrors. almost.

how far we have come, you and i.

this pain, this sadness… it is mine to bear.

we have always been apart, have we not?

if the little bastards didn't want their heads caved in, they shouldn't've tried to sneak up on me.

these are your memories, remember?

the point is, deep down, you wanted this.

i saved lives and punished the wicked, and for a time, that was enough.

we have wept rivers for our dead and cursed the gods for their cruelty.

memories can be powerful and painful… in more ways than one.

the little bastard's a handful and a half.

even now, after everything we have done, we can still go home…

it was not mine to take, but i took it.

…what good are prayers to the dead. they have not ears to listen.

how are we to withstand this relentless onslaught which threatens to consume us?

is there no truth but this, that all men must die?

they made their choices, and such are the consequences.

when i have finished, naught will remain of me.

look how he burns with fervor, with desperation, with faith.

he is not the first, nor will he be the last to betray you.

the dead are forever beyond our reach, and we have no choice but to accept the inevitability that everyone we know and love will join them in time… or do we?

for all our faults, for all our failures, we have made a difference.

time and death, our true enemies, need hold no power over us.

i can make a place for you in my world. you need only ask.

you knew from the first that there was only one way this could end.

if you would not forsake me, then of course you would not forsake him.

he is a fool, but he is our little fool.

he's going to get us killed one of these days...but what can i say? i love him. i forgive him.

you are still a good person.

say your name. your real name!

…shall i ask you the same? who holds the reins?

we are complicit, you and i.

can you even remember why you came here?

can you even remember how many you killed? how many lives shattered, how many stories ended?

justice is an excuse. nobility is a lie. murder is murder!

though we are most definitely not without fault, it is this cruel, indifferent world which has made murderers of us all.

this world is brutal, uncaring, without logic or justice…

no justice but that which we make for ourselves!

i'll be damned if i give it up so you can force your illusions upon us to assuage your guilt!

i am not your enemy. not then or now. i will not fight you.

it's never too late to turn back. you are still a good person.

you can still be…a good person…

ours is the greatest lie of all.

so many broken by this world, and then by you.

everything we fight so desperately to protect slips through our fingers…

what remains… is us. only us, and the memory of our sin.

i wasn't about to stand idly by while that imbecile tries to do… whatever it was he was trying to do.

i offer you peace! restitution! a chance to make amends!

when it comes, i shall welcome it with open arms…

again and again and again you kill. do you feel nothing!?

you know my heart! it bleeds like any other!

these scars and sins are ours to bear - not to deny!

no, no, no... that is not how this story goes...

i ask, i beg, i pray, but it never comes…

such is the fate of all who are born - to suffer and to die.

do not seek forgiveness, for it will not ease the burden. it weighs as it should.

no one likes having to say good-bye. but it's… it's a part of life.

i forgive you. i forgive you. i forgive you…

thank you. that is… that is all i ever wanted…

so… this is it. one last parting.

in your darkest hour, in the blackest night… think of me… and i will be with you.

for where else could i go? who else could i love but you?

a man can never truly understand what's in another's heart… and probably not their own, for that matter…

i like you. i respect you. and i'll always be here for you, if you need me.

part of me can't help but think this was all a fever dream.

it's nice to dream of a world without pain and suffering. but the world is what it is, and dreams will only carry you so far.

not a day goes by without your name being spoken, you know.

the pleasure of your company alone would be more than enough.

your destiny was never to remain here, was it? though a part of me wishes that you would…

you will always have a place here, [ name ]. for you are family.

the world waits for none - not even you.

you've an insatiable hunger for it, don't you?

even when you bite off more than you can chew, you refuse to let go.

from the moment i laid eyes on you, i suspected you were a particular blend of impulsive and stubborn.

victories like that are always bought with blood.

being grim and dark will only get you so far, don't you remember?

now, if you'll excuse me, i have an angry girl to mollify.

yet you never were one to let a mystery remain unsolved, were you?

they will tell you who they see, but you and you alone know who you are.

if you find comfort in my words, they are yours for the taking, but that is your choice.

but if you're reading this, then you know how the story goes, don't you?

what will your legacy be tomorrow, and the day after, and in the days after that…?

it never had to be this way. this world is exactly as we choose to make it.

i told you before you know how the story goes, didn't i?

it's been a long, strange journey, filled with all kinds of ups and downs.

i want to believe - i need to believe that this was not for nothing.

i don't know when we'll do this again - if we'll ever do this again.

the little trick you've learned doesn't count, you know.

even if this is our end, it won't change what we had.

i love you more than you'll ever know.

a mix of arguments, tension, manipulation, gossiping, fighting, & general emotional messiness!

you  weren't  supposed  to  hear  that.

don't  look  at  me  like  i'm  the  only  one  lying.

want  to  tell  them,  or  should  i?

you  think  i  don't  know  what  you  did?

i've  hit  people  for  less.

oh,  i  thought  you  already  knew.

that's  funny,  you  didn't  say  that  last  night.

say  that  again.  i  dare  you.

you  wanna  talk  about  loyalty?

no  offense,  but  if  you're  the  last  to  know,  that's  on  you.

go  ahead  -  pretend  like  it  wasn't  your  idea!

they  deserve  to  know  the  truth.

you  didn't  hear  this  from  me,  but  -

oh,  so  now  you  care?

don't  flatter  yourself.  you  were  just  convenient.

you  crossed  a  line.

we  had  bets  on  how  long  it  would  last.

it's  not  even  a  secret  anymore.

you  don't  get  to  cry  about  it  now.

touch  me  again  and  see  what  happens.

say  it  again.  louder  this  time.

you  really  thought  nobody  would  find  out?

don't  act  so  innocent.

okay,  but  am  i  the  villain  for  laughing?

tell  me  who  else  knows.  right  now.

this  whole  time,  and  you  didn't  say  a  word?

don't  act  brave  now.

you're  really  gonna  do  this  here?

it  wasn't  supposed  to  get  this  far!

you  can't  rewrite  history.

oh,  i'd  never  say  it  to  their  faces.

it  was  supposed  to  stay  between  us.

we're  all  thinking  it,  i  just  said  it.

you're  not  as  untouchable  as  you  act.

do  you  even  feel  guilty?

they  warned  me  about  you.

go  ahead,  make  it  worse.

if  you  repeat  this,  i'll  deny  everything.

the  next  thing  out  of  your  mouth  better  be  an  apology.

you're  about  three  seconds  away  from  regretting  this.

you  keep  pushing,  and  i'll  push  you  back.

they're  going  to  find  out.

one  more  lie,  and  i  walk.

they're  lying  to  you.

you  need  to  back  off.  now.

you're  defending  them?  after  everything?

don't  try  to  hide  it.

tell  me,  was  i  just  a  placeholder?

you  really  think  sorry  fixes  this?

there's  nothing  left  to  say.

don't  act  like  you're  the  one  hurting.

i  don't  owe  you  any  explanation.

whatever  helps  you  sleep  at  night.

you  should've  seen  this  coming.

i  hope  it  was  worth  it.

i  told  the  truth.  just  not  all  of  it.

you'll  miss  me  before  i  miss  you.

smile.  you're  ruining  the  mood.

i'd  watch  that  tone  if  i  were  you.

it's  not  my  fault  you  believed  me.

you  have  such  a  talent  for  pretending  you're  innocent.

we  both  know  this  is  over.

i  never  said  i  was  a  good  person.

She didn't expect him to wanna bring her home though, especially to Rui after everything that's happened.

It was a bit awkward being around the two of them at the moment, so she'd decided to step outside for some air, lost in her thoughts...

Until she catches sight of someone else she hadn't quite seen before.

"Oh...um.....hi. Are you another colorful face from this family?"

Hours like this are always the most quite. Times like these are when they quite prefer being out. The weather is cool and the earth feels calm. No worry when it comes to following the hands of Fate. Nowhere to be in this moment. There is only Faust and the gentle breeze that sweeps part of their hair away from their face. Their eyes closed as they try to simply enjoy the feeling. Of all the things they do not understand - do not feel - this one they enjoy. This makes sense to them.

Another's presence has green eyes snapping open and their attention goes over the shoulder. Strange... they hadn't thought anyone else would be out here. Least, not someone they didn't recognize.

Was this... a friend?

Something else?

Human relationships still confuse them.

❝There isn't any way. I'll have to live like this for the rest of my life, but I'm fine with that fact. Even as I grow worse, I know that the people I care for and love don't think me a monster. Though it can be hard at times, I can endure it now. Before it was hard, I wasn't seen as my own person, I was your son or a monster- sometimes both, but that's no one's fault but their own.❞

There was no harbored hard feelings, certainly not towards his mother, but at the time it was the worst feeling in the world some days. Now he could see that it didn't matter, that so long as he thought of himself well enough, that people he cared for thought of him as only Kitty then it was fine.

"My Kitty... I'm sorry. I really wish I could help more."

Truthfully, the only part she could relate to was being compared to a parent. Her mother was an Archon of all things, it had left quite a few expectations on her shoulders before she'd decided to be a knight. And for as supportive as her mother was, there were still people who felt she was throwing away her potential. Yet, she'd never cared much for all the tutors or the learning - she yearned for adventure and action. To help people that needed it.

Ends justify the means, that was something he heard many times. Something he too believed in before opening his eyes.

❝It is a difficult topic. Knowing the things that happened before, knowing who you were before, but I find it easier to make peace with it by recalling.❞

A hand raising to rest upon the front of his hip, resting, feeling for the crystals that had been placed there. If it weren't for those dreadful things...

She hated remembering those times. Thinking of all the things she had been ignorant to. And she'd thought she was a good person... turns out she'd been perpetuating a system like everyone else.

Ignorance had once been bliss... but she'd never want to go back to that. No - she was glad to know. To change.

"I suppose you'd have it worse than I would. For all that we did in training, yours was... well, you know."

A soft sigh escapes her and she shakes her head once more.

She respected it.

Really, she's just glad it was quick and easy enough. No struggles or set backs, just a straightforward job.

When was the last time she'd had one of those?

❝But it doesn't, I would know.❞

Yes, the love mattered the most, but the opinions of others did weigh heavy at times.

❝I can do many things. Help people. Protect them. Save them. But what always comes up regardless ? What I am. How I scare people by simply being around.❞

Something he had dealt with from the very moment those horns began to show, how his nails turned to claws, how his eyes began to change. It was easier now, but as a child ? It felt like everything was going to suffocate him, that because he was different he shouldn't be allowed to leave without someone beside him keeping watch.

She's silent for a moment - several.

What was she supposed to say to that? How could she possibly relate when she didn't know the first thing about what he was going through?

For all the answers that she had and all the advice she could give, she was lost here. Unsure of what exactly to do. What she should say. How did she help him with things he'd struggled with his whole life?

"I don't know, my love. I really don't. I would say go with what makes you happy, but even that feels... hard when you admit these things to me. I don't know how to help in that regard and i wish that I did. I wish I knew the perfect thing to say to assuage your fears, but I can only offer what I already have."

She shakes her head with a soft sigh.

❝Still.❞

Heavens above the look of sadness that would cross their friend's face. Like a sad dog is what it was. Endearing, but also a look that made him want to cave near immediately. Perhaps for the best that their work didn't cross too often, he too tried to keep that title between them when it came to official matters.

The matter of wanting to keep her son away though, that catches his attention. Shifting from that light mood to something a bit heavier. It was justified, if he had a child he would've never let them try and join such an order.

❝Well, truth be told, your son most likely would've been better off than most of us then.❞

Sure, there was probably something there the commanders could've drawn on knowing how he had come into the family of hers, but nothing as easy as people like him.

"No, no still. Besides, you're not going to tell him I said it."

Another soft laugh at the thought. He was almost like a puppy when one were to think about it. Who could really deny Aymeric something as simple as that? Certainly not Jubibi. At least, not when in his actual company. Only when she needed to for official purposes.

Her gaze turns away from him as she rubs at her arm. Not the sort of answer she'd expected from him. Not about this.

"Truthfully, I never wanted to think much on it. I had heard stories, but back then... back then everything felt justified to an extent."

And then she had been just like them in a way. Hating the dragons for what they'd taken from her. Everyone had hurt during the war. Everyone had lost. Yet - those poor souls who sacrificed themselves... they'd never get to see that things could've been different.

❝'Cause if I give her a name like that people are gonna expect something of her. I don't want people to get higher expectations, isn't it already enough that thoughts of me others harbor will bear on her as she grows ?❞

That was the issue really. To know that no matter what, his own nature would set expectations of her regardless. It's not something he could change, circumstances of birth weren't something you could switch up, but that didn't make it much easier to deal with.

"Expect things from her? My love, there's little that a name can do to give people expectations. Unless you're saying I had high expectations set on me from when I was born because of my name, hm? Or any of our other friends? If those are ones you like, then they're worth giving to her."

Ah - this came down to that more than anything it seemed. His own nature and how that could affect his child. She takes in a deep breath and reaches to rub at his arm once more. It can be daunting, being a first time parent. Being a parent at all, really. Everything can feel so hard. Like you're having the entire world on your shoulders.

Ser Aymeric, the formality manages to get past that wall he was working to build to remain "normal" in front of their guest. Ser, the word making him laugh, it's an ugly one, one he tries to recover from quickly while shaking his head.

❝Don't let him hear you call him that. Title must be forgotten in a friend's presence, yes ? He would be beside himself if you didn't treat him as such. Think he thinks he's still that knight training alongside friends at times, forgetting his grand position.❞

Not Lord Commander Aymeric, just Aymeric. No title, only a friend. Truly a sap at heart, wasn't he ? Suppose that's what made him so approachable still to this day.

Ah, there it is. No more rigidity, but a laugh that he's trying to recover from. One of her gloved hands comes to try and hide her soft snickering as the other reaches up to nudge him.

"If I'm visiting in an official capacity, the title needs to be there! Even if he'd prefer that I just forgot about it. In any other time, then he can be just Aymeric, as he prefers."

She knew too well his preferences. Knew how soft and kind he could be. Most people would forget he was in charge if he didn't act like it when the situation called for it.

❝Baby.❞

Answering mostly as a joke, but it wasn't a lie. 'Course they already worked out that no, that wouldn't work. But what were the others ? Taking a moment to think, eyes looking at the floor as he idly kicks at the air in attempts to remember.

❝There was...... Isolde, and, uh, Dahlia. I think Carmilla was one as well.❞

"Alright, that one's on me, I should've said other than that one."

She gives him a gentle nudge to emphasize that she's joking. It was certainly an idea, but not one that would work properly. And they'd already gone over that one.

"Those are very pretty. I don't think I've met anyone with names like those, but they're lovely to hear. Why not one of those then?"

❝Letters.. ?❞

A question that he wasn't expecting, not among the bit of flattery. One that only serves to aid his confusion after the mention of liking talking to him back then. As if he wasn't a horrid person when he was just starting out.

❝Uh, I suppose I've received one or two.❞

Now did he respond to them ? No... Using an excuse of being far too busy with everything and the changes when asked if he had anything to send out.

"Ah, duty can certainly keep one busy. I remember that well enough from back when I was still a knight."

No reason for him to apologize as far as she was concerned. They were friends - old friends, sure, but that didn't negate the friends part. Why wouldn't she want to talk with him?

"You've certainly got a lot on your plate with the reforms. Can you tell me more while we're on our walk?"

Even if she was busy nowadays, this was still her home. Hearing how things were changing was important to her. To hear how they were getting better.

"Invigoratin' aye?" she chuckled. "I suppose that's a word for it!"

Jubibi laughs softly as she stretches this way and that, her ears flicking happily all the while.

"Very much so! Plus it's our job handled very nicely!"