Art and Stuff

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”

YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”

It’s so hilarious that Endgame was supposedly the greatest event in cinematic history and less than a year later nobody talks about it ever and if it’s brought up again the collective response is just “oh right”

Why do the movies never show us this Spider-Man?

Fun fact Spider-man once beat the Hulk by telling him a joke that was so funny he turned back into Bruce Banner to laugh

This is the most accurate Steve internal monologue I’ve ever heard.

@zinefeed @zineapps @fandomzines @zine-scene

There are some particular pairings where I’m just like… “Yes, hi, I know this is a fluffy Coffeeshop AU. Yes, I do understand that. But, frankly, I must ask you if you know that it’s just not really this pairing without at least one murder going on in the background? Yeah, yes, I know we can all do whatever we like in fanfiction. But it’s just never going to feel like those characters and that relationship to me, personally, unless the characters still have their bizarre backstories and their VERY SUSPICIOUS skillsets (adapted for the AU of course), and every single customer who walks in immediately gets the sense that this coffeeshop is a front for something. There just needs to be murder happening here, I’m sorry. It’s just not them without the crimes.”