Sideshow Boob

At Costco there were two butch ladies in their 60’s arguing about which couch to get and one of them said a certain option wouldn’t fit through the doorway at which point they BOTH immediately whipped out tape measures. Glorious.

Once when I was in the grocery store, an elderly woman looking at baking pans asked me if I had a tape measure on me. I asked her no, why do you ask? And she said "I just need to measure this pan and you looked like someone who would have a tape measure." I bought a keychain tape measure later that day and have carried it with me ever since.

"Oh, not you as well, Brutus!" in that voice is the best translation of 'Et tu, Brute?' I've ever heard.

#a shame it was lost to history which one he actually stopped at

Got his ass together in three words

Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.

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I forget straight people have a really bad habit of using top/bottom to mean dom/sub until I’m talking to someone who calls a women in a m/f relationship a ‘top’ and they get mad at me because I think they meant she’s pegging the guy. Apparently they mean she’s just kinda mean and controlling in bed. This is like the 3rd time this year this has happened.

Being into m/f ships is hard because you will look up “Top [women] Bottom [man]” and all the posts will be incorrectly tagged dombottom women/subtop guy and if you ask people to correctly tag stuff you are the bad guy. I want to her fucking him in his hole!!

Double it and give it to the next person