the wound is where the light enters

edit: i’m too lazy to update this with my newer posts but just put /tagged/mine after my url and you should find them all ily ♡♡

rossi’s patch + the convoy lads’ regiment (worcestershire) + discussion about the royal signal corps

captain smith’s regiment (cheshire) + a run-down of all known battalions and regiments in the film

rambling about why the convoy lads were traveling with the cheshires + discussion of rossi being a cameronian (scottish rifle) 

butler’s wound stripes

scho + the hindenburg line + how that impacts his relationship with his and blake’s tree (it’s more likely than you think)

scho + the german bunker + how that relates to the somme

scho + the life of an infantry soldier

conscription + the assignment of infantry soldiers to regiments, and how that relates to blake and scho

how to write blake and scho’s battalion, regiment, division, etc.

blake being a boy scout before the war

infantry ranks in ww1 (but a funky remix, because tumblr made the post loop 12 thousand times) (we love to see it)

the east surreys and their training

scho + the return to the old somme battlefields (and i didn’t include the post that talks about what it must have been like for scho to hear captain smith mention bapaume, which was one of the original objectives for the opening day of the somme and which scho would have heard the name of over and over and over in the days leading up to it, but think about that too) (no actually here it is, why not: x)

military and historical context for the film

thiepval virtual experience

bits and pieces + the last stand of the 2nd devons in 1918

a compilation of posts where i say “i love him so much” in relation to scho a lot:

my original “i’m so perpetually frustrated with audiences” zinger

scho + home

a soft main character in a war film

scho + growing up in the dying victorian era

scho + survival

scho + his childhood

scho + trauma

scho + honesty

scho + trauma pt. 2

scho + how his instincts were blinded by blake

the film’s ending

more about scho’s character

even more about scho’s character

scho + blake’s rifle

scho + being an outsider

scho + all the boys he couldn’t save

bens house in da sims 3!!! took 6 hours and i dont know how to get rid of the player dash to take non-ass screenshots but enjoy!!!!! i love being autistic <33

design notes under the cut :3

this blog is so beautiful, your 1917 posts have completely wired my braincells in the best way possible and make me feel so safe and warm and cozy, it’s like walking home after a cold winters evening walk to a warm homemade meal before taking a shower, getting tucked into a freshly made bed and being held while you sleep.

it’s so tender and so insanely beautiful, i have genuinely cried while reading your posts (in the best way), thank you so much for being here and even if you don’t post anymore, i hope more than anything that you are doing well.

take care 🫶🏻

🥹 thank you so much sweet love. the 1917 time was such a meaningful time for me and it still evokes the exact same feeling you describe - warmth and comfort and love. this means so much ❤️❤️

i’m doing well!! i’m now doing my honours (masters in the uk) degree in history after just graduating my undergrad! my thesis has nothing to do with wwi, but everything i learned from scrounging through resources to answer messages here has genuinely helped my research so, so much <33 sometimes i go back to my long answers delving into minute details about regiments and wound stripes and things and i’m in awe of myself - i’ve forgotten 90% of that info and so reading it back i’m like, jesus christ i was good. i was really, really good. we all were. how wonderful ❤️

“you know, the ironic thing is i don’t have an opinion either way. i was just following instructions”

“burying his daughter”

“do you think we’re actually going to wait for evidence?”

“won’t it reflect badly on us that his pleas fell on deaf ears”

“you can’t expect them to celebrate the closure”

“all men created equal” - doesn’t nod along or agree with the next lines of it being preposterous; also doesn’t agree with the need to keep the distinction between the gentry and the vulgars - he does later on, but for now he’s painfully aware that if that distinction had been kept absolutely rigid, he and his family would never have been given the chance to rise in the world and they would still be considered vulgars. as it stands, he’s a parallel to demelza - betwixt and between, neither one nor the other; too fancy to skivvy, too common to curtsy.

sentencing the girl to prison for perjury. judging by his reaction to first being told of who’s nephew the assailant was - realisation, guilt, sadness - you know that if this case were brought before him at any other time, he’d sentence the man and protect the girl. he knows what he’s doing is wrong; he knows he’s being used to free a guilty man; he’s uncomfortable and upset about it; but he does it, because it’s the way to get ahead, and he has to do favours for powerful men.

“so these experiments do happen?” - he’s in over his head, he’s overwhelmed, he’s gotten in with these bad men who are more violent and extreme than he is and now he’s caught up and having to play along when really he’s frightened and horrified

george: 

states multiple times that it is a personal point for him that elizabeth must be consulted about business decisions, even the ones that won’t directly impact her, and that her opinion is important to him

allows her genuine freedom in their marriage, is happy to hear that she has an active social life and friends in london, and, rather than being threatened by her sexuality and the effect she has on men, proudly boasts that she has “charmed the breeches” off his business associates for their own ends and of her own accord

involves her as an equal in his schemes and values her ideas and thoughts

genuinely recognises how harmful his jealousy has been, apologises to her and holds himself accountable instead of pulling a “i’m too good for you” psychological manipulation guilt-tripping trick a la ross, and actually changes his behaviour - and, after her death, realises she had died trying to recreate the conditions of the first birth and holds himself fully responsible for putting her in a position where she felt she had to do that

recognises her intelligence, business sense, political adeptness, and humour - something none of the other male characters have ever done

is consistently shown to admire her - but not to put her on a harmful pedestal

is physically affectionate in public, but not overbearing or smothering - and in private, he mostly waits for her to make the first move so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable

ardently hopes for a daughter, despite the fact girls held little worth, and is joyful when ursula is born

never once puts a female servant in an uncomfortable or threatening situation, and is consistently shown to treat bessie with genuine respect, friendliness, and kindness

is utterly faithful to elizabeth - the only husband in the show to be so

when he’s courting elizabeth during her marriage to francis, he doesn’t pressure, threaten, or try to force himself on her - he simply puts it on in the open that he has feelings for her and leaves it to her to follow him up on it if she so chooses

during her second pregnancy, far from being the average husband who took a hands-off role and chalked it up to women’s business, he tells elizabeth he’ll be at her beck and call for anything she needs or desires

is shown to be regretful and physically upset by the fact he has to sentence a girl to prison for a crime he knows full well she didn’t commit and allow a man he knows is guilty to go free. george gets himself into these situations with bad people where he’s in well over his head and can’t back out, we know this, he can’t say no - but though it by no means excuses it, he clearly felt guilty about it and knew what he was doing was wrong. same thing with the bet he placed on whether or not monk could sleep with demelza - it was a classic “you’re popular and i wanna be popular so i’m gonna put myself into positions i’m not comfortable being in and laughed along with stuff i’m actually disgusted by so you’ll like me and think i’m cool”

his relationship with elizabeth slowly evolves from her being so reluctant and so unhappy that she numbs herself with drugs just to cope with being married to someone she doesn’t want and doesn’t love and only accepted because she was sacrificing herself for the good of her son - to a healthy, genuine love where she is respected, where she feels genuinely attracted to george and freely initiates sex (something we’ve never seen her do because her past experiences with sex have been so unpleasant and usually forced on her) (because she’s a mirror of everything men want her to be and what they project onto her, not ever herself - until george), where she smiles more than we’ve ever seen her, where her talents and mind are being appreciated, where she can finally blossom and feel valued, where she is happy. she’s a female character who is happiest when she’s in a romantic relationship, who craves intimacy and companionship, who wants to be domestic - and that’s valid. but not only does george give her all of that, but with him, she’s also made to feel important and considered - she’s in a powerful position where she can finally let her own mind shine and speak up; she has her freedom; she’s given a voice. not only does she get what she’s always wanted - she gets more, gets things she never even allowed herself to wish for. it’s a beautiful depiction of slowly falling in love and it’s the most healthy, equal, and functional romantic relationship in the entire show - and this is coming from someone (me) who suffered through an abusive relationship that was founded on unfounded and destructive jealousy and possessiveness.

y’all: unlike ROSS

ross: 

took sexual advantage of the power imbalance between a 13-year-old girl who was his servant and himself as her master, and married her. demelza was 13 when he took her on as his scullery maid, and barely any older when he slept with her. i cannot empathise that enough. he calls her ‘child’

raped elizabeth, and directly caused her death because of it

gaslit demelza for being understandably hurt and angered by him cheating on her, and framed it as being her fault for over-reacting

doesn’t consult demelza on anything, even things that directly effect her life and the lives of her children, and frequently underestimates her capabilities and intelligence, to her detriment 

“your place is where i say it is”

“you’re not required to understand it [their relationship], you’re required to accept it as a fact of life”

brings up hugh when demelza is grieving for julia after sarah’s death

uses tess for his own personal gain, never apologises to demelza for cheating on her a second third time, and cruelly blames tess for falling for him when the ruse is over and he no longer needs her

unhealthily idolises elizabeth solely for her looks and the image he’s painted of her in his mind, and never sees or appreciates her actual personality and mind

instead of recognising that demelza is silently begging to be rescued from this social situation because she feels frightened and threatened, he blames demelza for leading monk on and putting herself in a situation where she could almost be sexually assaulted. he literally says it was her fault that monk got the wrong idea

he literally gaslights her again and tells her it was her fault for how she was treated in london because she’s an uncultured country girl, i cannot make that any clearer

is literally never there for his wife and children when they need him

helps a man who murdered his wife out of jealousy flee the country so he won’t go to prison

blames keren for being murdered

like francis made elizabeth miserable by placing her on an unobtainable pedestal and thinking her so out of his league, only reachable by ross, despite the fact she was his wife and she was ready to care for him (side note: in the first season, before and just after her marriage to francis, elizabeth has hobbies - the harp, reading, needlework, walks; she quickly loses them after her marriage), ross made her miserable by simultaneously worshipping her for superficial reasons as this idol he’s created in his head rather than the person she actually is, and condemning her for qualities he’d projected onto her (“she saw his house, his name, his mine”). george alone sees her true personality and character and values her for it 

makes demelza miserable with his constant jealousy and mistrust

causes a huge fuss whenever they go to a party or social gathering that demelza wants to go to, asks to leave even if she’s having fun and clearly wants to stay with her friends, and takes it for granted that they won’t go in the first place even if she clearly wants to. make no mistake: that’s not cute, relatable introversion - that’s abuse

george: you’re a goddess and if you never anything whatsoever during your pregnancy i will do anything to get it for you, you deserve the world, please let me get you some cake in bed. ross, after bringing up a plate of breakfast to demelza once while she’s heavily pregnant: is there anything else your ladyship needs

also ross’ entire classism where he can get away with things commoners would hang for and act out and show no remorse because he has an ancient family name and an unshakeable position in society, and the fact that his interest in the peasants is just a hobby and he treats them like pets, and he bullied the grandson of a vulgar who was daring to try and rise above his station and make something of himself, while simultaneously raising a common girl into the position of a lady and giving demelza everything he condemns george for

like, lemme rant: 

when george was born, cary was 19. he was a child, a younger brother. now, their relationship seems to me like george fell into george’s care at some point in his childhood/adolescence - george’s mother was alive until he was at least nine years old, at which point cary would have been 28; so, by the time george was presumably orphaned, cary would have been anywhere between that age and his 30s. he never married, he never had children of his own, he was in his older brother’s shadow in relation to the running of the bank and inheritance - he was never expected to step up. he was never put into a position where he had to care about anyone but himself - and i don’t mean that in a selfish way, i mean he literally had no one in his life he had to take care of. 

and now, suddenly, he had this nephew he had to raise and care for. maybe he’d had a positive relationship with george before then, maybe they’d always had a stiff and aloof relationship - cary certainly doesn’t seem comfortable around children, or around emotions and intimacy in general, so i’m willing to bet it was the latter. “ah, here, boy, happy birthday [awkwardly shoves a poorly wrapped present at little george without looking at him” kinda relationship.

and now, he was his sole carer. now, he had to step up and be a parent. and i’m willing to bet cary did step up - that he genuinely tried. george hadn’t just lost his parents, he’d lost his brother - they were all the other had left. we’ve seen cary around a child with valentine - and even though he was mostly gruff and grouchy and dismissive, there was one scene where we saw a hint of begrudging tenderness and care: when george is hallucinating and cary intervenes, takes valentine’s hand, and leads him up the stairs to bed. it’s gruff, it’s stiff, it’s grumbling - but it’s love. 

and that’s most likely what his relationship with george was like. he cared for him, he loved him - but he didn’t know how to raise a child, didn’t want to raise a child, didn’t know how to show it. but he would have tried to be good to him and for him - doesn’t mean it worked, doesn’t mean he was good, but he would have tried, much as emotionally-repressed-uncomfortable-with-feelings cary warleggan could have. they probably had this strange, semi-equal relationship where they would have been sitting together on the couch awkwardly watching tv and eating microwaveable dinners in silence if this was set in modern times. because cary is scheming, he’s clever, he’s quite alright in social situations when it comes to adults - but he’s unbelievably awkward with softness and feelings. 

i can absolutely imagine him having some tender moments with george when he was a child - stiffly patting his back when he was grieving for his parents, making sure the cooks know george’s favourite foods (i can absolutely see cary’s love language being making sure george is comfortable and cared for and giving him things, because he can’t do the physical or verbal affection thing but he can make sure he feels like he belongs here), awkwardly pointing out the deers in cardew’s gardens to george because they’ve gone for a walk together but cary doesn’t know how to speak to children, playing with him when he was a baby but in a really stiff, uncomfortable way like “uh, how are you today, nephew?” and holding his hands and helping him do that baby walk - but mostly it would have been i do love you and i expect you love me too but i don’t really know how to be around a child and also i’m uncomfortable with mourning so even though we’re both sad we’ll have to cope.

and far from seeing cary’s arc in season 5 as cruel, i see it as incredibly tender - he just didn’t know how to express it, didn’t know what to do. he was panicked. he trusted a doctor because doctors are experts and doctors are supposed to know. he was genuinely trying to help george, seemed genuinely concerned and sickened by and uncomfortable with the doctor’s methods (“this is inhuman”) - to the point that he fired him, sought dwight’s help despite his close association with ross, and fully endorsed and allowed his recommendation of kindness and patience. he didn’t want his nephew to suffer - he loved him. he just didn’t know what to do - and when he was finally offered a solution that was kind, he leapt at it, gave dwight free reign, because he was relieved his nephew didn’t have to be in pain anymore. 

george and cary’s relationship is one i love very, very deeply - because they’re different personalities from different eras, because cary’s accent is still a cornish peasant accent (side note: and since george’s cousin, the son of george’s mother’s sister, has the same accent, we know both of george’s parents had it too, so it’s even more remarkable that he’s managed to curate the accent he has), because he’s still rough around the edges where george is polished and refined, because they irritate each other endlessly, because, at the end of the day, there is genuine care there. but rather than it being the father-son relationship that we’re more familiar with, it’s a sort of strange, mismatched older brother relationship - because cary isn’t a parent, he’s barely even an uncle: he was a little brother who was suddenly handed his older brother’s son and forced to raise him. and he did, as best he could. he gave him love, as best he could. 

he was a bachelor, a second son, no prospects, just looking out for himself and living his own life - and now suddenly he was moving into cardew and being given a whole estate to look after and being handed a child to raise to adulthood. and i love that strange relationship. i’ve never seen it in any other piece of media. they don’t fit each other at all, if george’s parents had lived cary would have just been this bizarre uncle at christmas dinners who didn’t understand children at all - but they were forced together, and they tolerate and care for each other in this odd, incredibly complex way that only the two of them understand. and i love it so much. 

and, the way they interact? without words? the way cary gently nudges george’s arm with his finger during ned’s trial to share a little look with him? that’s what i live for

and cary carried that final season. to me, he was a truly standout performance. those panicked attempts to keep the relationship with hanson afloat while george was talking to bessie like she was elizabeth, while george was scraping furniture around and screaming upstairs? absolutely fucking magnificent. the devil works hard but cary warleggan works harder. forgetting how upsetting and traumatic the whole plotline actually was, cary’s performance was equal parts genuinely touching - “nephew, it’s your uncle” - and hilarious. as far as i’m concerned, he was the star of that season, and he outshone even george. it was wonderful to see him finally have to step up and take over the business again when he’d gotten so used to letting george take the reins. 

i also love that the warleggans seem to have a much more friendly relationship with their servants than any of the other upperclass families. we know them all by name - cardy, bessie, lucy - and george and cary are both consistently lovely and respectful to them, even in that panicked moment where cary guides lucy away from the front door. he could have called her “girl”, could have just said “more” or “off with you” - but his voice is kind, he calls her by her name, he handles her gently, i just. i love it. it would be so easy for the warleggans to be twice as dismissive of and cruel to their servants because they’re trying to overcompensate and assert themselves and distance themselves in every way possible from the lower classes, and instead they’re genuinely kind. it’s fucking heartwarming.