saturated sunrise

Some of you may or may not know, but I started out in kpop fandom as a fic writer. There was a stretch of at least 6 years where I was constantly just pumping out fics and participating in fic fests and exchanges, and just generally having the time of my life. Of course, as you age and eventually have to be an active member of society, it tends to put hobbies on pause. I didn’t write for quite a few years once I started working. Between work and personal life experiences, writing took the backseat and once my mental health started to decline I began to feel detached from anything and everything that once brought me joy. It was the most depressed I’ve ever been.

While I have since written a few more fics, albeit a lot more slowly than I used to, I still struggle with throwing myself into it in the way that I want to because I feel like the years I didn’t write somehow sucked any creative thought out of my brain. I feel…rusty. And I hate that.

Now, let me bring you to why I’m even posting this. I’ve been debating for a long time if I should open fic commissions or not. This is something I wanted to do back in my early years in kpop ficdom but was always too afraid to. Unfortunately, like everyone else that exists on this planet, I struggle financially despite having a decent paying job. About a month ago, my transmission went out and that’s looking to cost around $5,000 so it feels like everything is just piling up and the stress is getting so heavy. That being said, I’m opening fic commissions to see what happens. Hopefully this way I can shake the rust off, and create things that people will enjoy.

Thank you for reading!