nonbinary softie

things have been complicated lately and I’m feeling very discouraged from this space.

look, I grew up fat in the early 2000s. i spent my entire lifetime up until college incredibly ostracized from my peers and during that time I was in a very loud echo chamber of fitness and e/d behaviors and disgusting, wrong ways of thinking.

getting fat in recovery was always an inevitable for me, and i don’t regret it (at least not in my good moments)… but i wish i hadn’t internalized so much of the thinly-veiled e/d mindsets that (some) gainers perpetuate on here. i have gone from a restrictive e/d for over 10 years to an obsessive b¡nge e/d and the literal only difference is that this time, im eating. that’s it. i still struggle with body dysmorphia and obsessive thoughts about food and i genuinely can’t handle it anymore. getting professional help isn’t something in the cards right now and it’s so hard to be on feedist tumblr lately, it’s not like i can just go on an unfollowing spree and guarantee that i won’t see those sorts of things on the daily, so I’m going to be spending some more extended time away from here for the sake of my mental health.

there are a very few individuals on here who understand the intersections between the actual politics of fat and this kink, and for those ppl im always so thankful. genuinely, the qfa’s and fat l¡beration folks are the one saving grace of the community.

Growth: A Queer Feedist Zine

I and four other queer feedists here on Tumblr, including Onyx @feedemon, Prince @smollestpuppyprince, and @alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody, have worked super hard the past several months putting together Growth, a zine by feedists, for feedists.

Growth is a bite-sized anthology of prose, poetry, and visual art responding to the question: What does feedism mean to you? It touches on topics such as asexuality in kink, kink discovery, kink positivity, overcoming disordered relationships with food, and and the intersections of feedism and trans identity.

The zine is available for a limited time digitally as an accessible interactive PDF, or in print as a half-page color booklet!

Download it digitally here for free via WeTransfer until August 21st, 2022!

To order a paper copy of Growth, I am taking preorders until August 29th, 2022.

And please consider donating a little for digital copies or chipping in a little extra for print copies, as any donations go straight to the queer kinky artists and writers who helped put this project together! 🖤

Details about ordering and accessibility under the cut!

Ordering a paper zine to a US address:

Make your payment via Cashapp to $anxietyqueer. These amounts are just to cover printing and shipping costs:

1 zine = $4.57

2 zines = $7.51

3 zines = $10.45

Send me a screenshot of your payment, the number of zines you are ordering, and your shipping address by direct message or to [email protected]. I will respond to confirm, since I know tumblr messaging can be screwy.

Zines will be shipped in discreet packaging after preorders close on August 29th.

Ordering a paper zine to an address outside the US: please send me a direct message or email me at [email protected] and we can talk shipping cost. Payments by PayPal (or let me know if that doesn't work for you!)

Accessibility:

Paper zines include image descriptions on the last page.

Digital zines are in interactive PDF format, able to be used with screen readers (there is one emoji at the end of a line of text, please let me know if this will be an issue!), and all images have embedded descriptions. Text can be highlighted with a cursor. (It *mostly* works in 'liquid mode' on the Adobe app, too, except for the poem which it converts to an image for some reason?)

Large print available upon request, just dm or email me to let me know!

To make a long story short, I'm going abroad starting in August to get some serious and necessary study done for my major. Despite working 40+ hours per week and having financial support from my university, I'm still an ill, disabled, minority college student, and I'm worried about having enough money to make ends meet in the months that I'm gone since I won't be able to work.

aaaand one year of indulging my t hunger later, once that little bit of softness swelled to a round, fuzzy belly...