hi! thought to come around here to say sorry for being inactive if you guys liked any of my stuff. I've realized a lot about my (grey)asexuality in the past few years and I'm not uncomfortable here really, or with the actual substance of the content I interact with but I do reach this threshold where I feel overfed, kind of, with sex orr... kink, or similar, a little bit easily when I participate actively in spaces for it online; it's been nothing but warm and kind and fun here, don't get me wrong! but when I post here regularly, sometimes in-between posts I find myself kind of doing it just to do it, even where there's this nick in the back of my mind starting to feel a little bit restrained or uncomfortable, like I've had too much in succession, and it's such a grey area, always changing, and hard to parse that it's easier for my own boundaries to avoid upkeeping my sideblogs. it keeps me feeling still-comfortable and like I'm having fun when I am expressing my own sexuality on the rare occasion, and not tired of it/stressed out or nervous. for the record, no one here has ever been the cause of this discomfort!! I am just somewhere complicated and a bit scary and confusing on the ace spectrum, and I may still be here every once in a blue moon. but I felt like getting my feelings out and I guess this is just my way of saying I will be (mostly) inactive, give or take some time coming back here just to pop in maybe. thank you so much for your kindness and being cool and chill the time I had been on this blog. take care :D!
more rambling under the cut. like, I guess the best way to describe it is that it can fluctuate from no discomfort with the actual Substance of the content/interactions, having fun writing and reading and playing it objectively -> however, discomfort with the frequency or Quantity of those content/interactions, -> feeling overworked/stressed out/like I've had "Too Much", repeat. the amount/frequency is kinda what does it. and that cycle does occasionally lead to me having repulsion spells, where even nonsexual affection makes me nervous and the substance of these things *does* upset me, and I have no interest or attraction in/for them whatsoever. and I don't want that, both for my own sake and for those who care about me, and the people here having fun that don't intend to upset someone else. it's also worth noting that kink and sex of all kind is mostly a performance; fun, mindlessly stimmy (?), and on a similar (complicated) spectrum as cuddling in my own mind but just "different", and I often won't even be physically turned on or aroused except for the completely random and unpredictable occasion, and generally only with someone I deeply, deeply personally trust and love. I am admittedly very, very vanilla, and shy about these sorts of things, and it's a funky messy complicated thing. besides all that junkkkk though HAHAA the general consensus is I just don't think a kink blog is suited for my acespectrumy head (yet, maybe ever) and it's nothing anybody has done here. I love you all! I love robot kink communities and techum-blr! and I hope you all keep having fun with bot stuff forever!!! :D <3 see you on the flippp sideeee or something :-)
