SoftBunnyBoo

So I have adhd and probably autism(working on that diagnosis) and I toe walk like a lot. I just bought a pair of converse last month and the inside where the ball of my feet are, is almost completely worn down. Like I have holes in both shoes that stop just before the outside of the shoe. To try and fix this I bought insoles that sit just behind that spot, I hate it. I have to actually completely a normal step and in my head it feels so bad. I wanna pull them out.

So I'm weird about sex (on this website!? No!) Like as in I want to be physically intimate with someone but I get like ocd intrusive thoughts about their hygiene and im taken out of the moment and it sucks. But something that weirdly helps? Having my nails painted when I imagine giving a hand job, imagining tattoos on my body when picturing myself under someone, thinking about how my lip piercings would look like when I give a blow job. (This post was inspired by getting and painting my nails in such an orgasmic shade of blue if you ask me.)

Pretty much from the start of the year my regular routine has been thrown out the window and I haven't been getting regular days off since about February or March and I'm just so overwhelmed by shit. I just want to watch naruto or Yu-Gi-Oh or something and ignore my adult responsibilities.

With ao3 being down, I'm glad that I just have a couple of fics downloaded on my phone at all times. Most of it's Naruto or MHA lol as they're my comfort shows. I even managed to download a new one when ao3 was back up for a little bit.

Went to the gym today! I'm so fucking weak in my right shoulder holy shit. But with leg presses, I kept up with my brother. Everything else I need to work up to where he's at but we stayed for almost a whole hour which is a lot longer than I thought I'd do. We only left cause my stomach started to hurt and not like a good way. But now I'm back home and honestly a little horny/high from the endorphins lol.

Well, I've decided to go back to the gym and do more than try to get my steps in. I kinda want to lose weight to help out with my dysphoria, but I also mainly want to be stronger, ya know? So I'm going with my brother, let's hope he doesn't accidentally kill me lol, he's got a very different body type than me, even when I was skinny I was wider the the shoulders and in my legs. I gathered a few pictures off Pinterest of what I kinda want to achieve cause I'm not looking to shed pounds or nothing, just a flatter tummy, smaller chest and muscles to go with 😅 I really want to stick with it this time. Maybe when I'm a bit more confident I'll take pictures of my journey

Stupidly feeling dysphoric today. I know loosing weight would help to shrink my chest but God it's so fucking annoying, I was almost late to work today cause I almost had a meltdown over how my binders looked, tried on two of them before I settled on the underworks on I currently have on. Ugh, I just want my tits to be gone.

As a 27 year old I feel so childish for being upset at the fact that I might miss going to Thanksgiving with my brother. I was given Thursdays off about 2 weeks ago, and so I made plans to go with my brother, assuming that I wouldn't be called in. Well, today my boss texted the work chat saying that in order to be fair, everyone has to come in and work at some point in the day. Like you couldn't have said something weeks ago to me? I'm just hoping that I'll be able to work in the morning so that way I can still go. Otherwise this will be the 5th time in 6 years that I've had to miss out due to work. I feel so stupid for being upset.

I'm so dumb, I got rid(donated) of some of my throw blankets a month or two ago, and now that I'm in my ultra nesting season, I want said blankets back. 😩 But I guess that just gives me an excuse to buy one or two.

Feeling mildly insecure at the moment. I just need someone to play with my bunny parts and tell me it's okay that I haven't had much bottom growth.

Ugh there was a good Shikamaru x reader fic on ao3 that I liked (which is rare for me as I normally ship him with naruto or sakura) and I went to go back to it and it's gone! Pretty sure the person deleted their whole account too and I can't figure out how to find it using the way back machine either.