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Amidst the fountain of knowledge inhabiting Thornewood’s grand library, the nurse could be found sat cross-legged, on splintering wooden floors, surrounded by an overwhelming plethora of leather-bound books. Nose deep in the pages as the second hour of research rolled around, Felicity had begun organising the books into categories mentally labelled as; fiction, non-fiction, useful, potentially helpful and utterly-fucking-useless. 

Nimble fingers shook slightly as emerald hues grew weary and bloodshot, the three cups of coffee she had downed one after another now coursed through her veins and sent her body into some form of caffeine-induced shock. The sentence Fliss had read over three times now was not registering in a jittery and overworked mind as words began to blend together on the page. A heavy sigh left parted lips, silently admitting defeat in the form of a closed book before discarding it to her left and onto the utterly useless category, “May as well burn this pile.” The nurse muttered aloud, her hushed tones carrying an air of annoyance through the quiet room. “Fuck it, I need a smoke.” Her disheartened words floated into the silence, confident that she was alone in the large room. 

“You look like you really are searching for something.” Sofia remarked as she approached. The way the blonde had been murmuring to herself made Sofia aware that she had probably assumed she was alone. Folks didn’t normal speak to themselves so clearly when others were present. “I will join you for a cigarette if you share what is on your mind.” She added. It was a rare offer. To consume contraband on the hospital premises would’ve been out of the question earlier in Sofia’s career, but she was tired now. She was nearly certain that her boss was not the person she’d assumed him to be, and consequently, her position her was not the career move she’d hoped for. Risking it hardly seemed to be an issue now.

Charlie didn’t know why, but his feet had carried him right to Sofia’s office. Maybe he just wanted to talk about nothing. But he felt a deeper part of him wanted to talk about the mess he had made during his birthday. And other than Noah Sofia might very well be the only person he trusted enough to actually be honest about what happened… He missed her being his therapist. Don’t ask him why because he would have no idea. But he just did. 

With a small knock, he had stood in front of the closed door. Hoping she had time for him in general… “H-Hey — “ He said peeking his head around the opened door. “Can I- Can I come in?” The young male said with a small smile on his face seeing the office being empty. “Or do you have appointments?”

“Charlie!” Sofia’s voice lifted the atmosphere in the office. The blonde was rarely relaxed, but seeing Charlie was enough to settle her thoughts. Her old apprentice had been transferred to another therapist, but Sofia still thought of him fondly. She set the files down and waved for him to come in. “I was just thinking about you this morning. It’s been a while since an update came across my desk.” She had begun to wonder whether Dr. Bennett was doing his job. 

After a more than unpleasant discussion with a colleague, some questions had weighed heavy on the nurses’ mind and she was in search of answers, going to Charles was out of the question, not only did she have an innate fear of the warden but he was not the right person to go to about prying questions. The next best person Felicity could think of was Sofia Verrat. 

Manicured fingertips ran down the length of pale blue scrubs before bringing a closed fist to the door of Dr Verrat’s office, knocking gently on the hardwood. Upon hearing a voice call out, the blonde crossed the threshold and offered a polite smile. “Oh, hello.” The nurse began before emerald hues noticed the stacks of paperwork littered upon the desk, she immediately felt guilt for her intrusion and was far too aware of the frustrations caused by mountains of work. “Sorry, you look busy. I can come back?” She politely offered, taking a small step backwards. 

Sofia was accustomed to observing the behavior of her colleagues. It provided her with information that she generally did not take the time to gather by socializing. Felicity seemed out of sorts today. The small stitch of a wrinkle appeared between her brows. “No that’s alright. Please come in.” Sofia offered as she set the files down. “I’ve just been trying to get my desk organized. It seems like everyday there is a new report to write.” 

Bathwunk.

Bathwunk.

Bathwunk.

Bathwu-bonk-bonk-bonk-tap-tap-tap –

A loud groan echoed from the stair to the red floor when the bouncy rubber ball interrupted its course back to its thrower. The rainbow-colored little thing rolled around for a moment, insistent on staying out of Casey’s reach by rolling further away, to the edge of the carpet int he middle of the foyer. Of course, he could’ve gotten up from his position on the stairs, put his feet down on the yellow floor and walk over, but the guards had decided to be petty. And in return, Casey decided to be petty as well. One foot on that floor and you’re toast, Callahan.

He had no strength to fight them today, but his god damn bouncy ball was way out there. Blue eyes narrowed at the thing, trying its damnest to telekinetically get it to return to him. It didn’t budge, obviously, and Casey slumped in his posture. It wasn’t luxurious, sitting on the bottom rung of the stairs reaching out towards a rubber ball, but the boredom was enough to have him do it. Soon both arms hung over his knees, and Casey just stared at the opposite wall, occasionally glancing at his entourage, the guard that was endlessly fascinated by their nails. 

“Could yo–u ple–ase give me– my entertainme–nt ba-ack.” The noise was intentionally nasally, drawn out at every vowel Casey caught, but the guard paid him no mind. Of course. In turn, Casey turned to the shadow passing by his peripheral. 

“Hey! Hey, you - uh, yeah. Wanna be owed a favor? Toss me that ball over there, would you?”

Sofia recalled the saying in German as she stood watching Casey Callahan slump forward with his forearms on his knees. It was a warning that her father used to give her during school breaks. If you aren’t working or studying, your mind will turn soft. Perhaps it was worse than that at Thornewood. The minds of those condemned to such damning idleness as this... were surely consuming themselves. 

“A favor?” Sofia strode over and bent down to pick up the toy. “Not necessary.” She straightened back up and ran a hand over her pencil skirt to smooth it out. “You already owe me some of your time, and its best we leave it at that.” The psychoanalyst approached Casey and examined his body language. She walked right up to him, despite the tensed posture of the guards. Sofia held out the bouncy ball for the man to take. “If you get tired of this game at some point today, you’re always welcome in my office. There’s coffee and biscotti too, so... I’d like to think its a competitive offer.”

It had happened already but the young male still nodded as Sofia mentioned the guards patrolling the hallways during the nights. He had heard about the consequences, but something about being a green level patient, a former intern and not getting caught nearly enough kept him somewhat safe. “I know, I’m always looking out for my own safety whilst walking and won’t do it when I know it’s better for me not to.” Even though especially those nights are the nights he wants to run from everything. Also, the nights he usually makes a stupid mistake and runs into someone and most certainly the nights he finds himself an abandoned broom closet to sleep in.

He missed Brielle on a daily basis. Missed his friends, the staff he knew by heart, the coffee machine in the office of his therapist and Noah. God, did he miss Noah! Charlie would offer a leg just to be able to call her even if it would be for just a minute or two. He missed the safety bubble he had created for himself in Brielle. Missed feeling like he was climbing to becoming better instead of the constant feeling he was getting worse.

“It really was good back there~” The young male mumbled softly, lackadaisical blue hues glued to his intertwined fingers. Thornewood was good, but it would never feel as much as home as Brielle ever was. Brielle was home because of the people that still dwelled there. “I wish I could be proud of myself-” Charlie said as his eyes slowly traveled back up to the blonde opposite of him. “-but I made promises to so many people. I let so many people down, including myself, by giving Rose enough space to mess with me again.” He couldn’t remember her laugh on bad days. He couldn’t even remember the way her eyes looked like when she was happy. All he saw was the empty shell of his sister that followed him around. All-day and all-night. A small sigh escaped his lips as his head dipped back down, a defeated man that wouldn’t admit being defeated. “S-Sometimes I can’t help but be honest you know-” He said softly. “-it’s like I can’t stop myself when I talk and before I know it my biggest secrets are out and I don’t know if I messed everything up or if I’m just doing alright. It’s so- so confusing…”

He was oddly formal, Sofia noted mentally. It wasn’t a new quirk, but she still wondered what Charlie had been like as a child. Had he always been so precise and polite? Had he ever been reckless, spontaneous or mischievous? As he spoke, Sofia’s posture softened. She had very few maternal instincts, but something about Charlie made her want to envelop him in hug. He was carrying a lot of heaviness, and he did so silently. Maybe they were alike in that sense. She wanted to reach out and say that she understood.

“Don’t worry about saying too much.” Sofia encouraged him. “I’d much rather hear what’s happening with you.” She offered him a warm smile. “It is so much better to share the burden and have someone that you can come to and say ‘today is hard’ and have them know exactly why without you having to say it again.” 

The young patient understood the woman completely. He had wrapped himself into a long woolen open hoodie with his arms folded over his chest, just trying to make himself as small and compact as possible in the hope to keep some of the little body heat he still had left. “I take late night walks just because I’m scared my feet will freeze off if I don’t,” Charlie said with a hint of a smile in his voice. “I have experienced some snow and being kinda cold in Oregon. But nothing prepared me for this.”

“I have got to be honest. It does sound pretty interesting.” The young male said as he looked form his folded slightly trembling hands up to the therapist in front of him. It would be the thing he would dive into himself if he wasn’t to busy with being stuck in a mental hospital and trying to get out. It would be just the thing he would have been looking at between sessions if he would still be working here. “Well, Thornewood isn’t my first rodeo of course~” Charlie said as he felt his eyes travel back to the safety of his own hands. The young patient didn’t mind having eye contact with people, that was as long as the topic they were talking about was something light. Not his mental health or his past.  “It’s a double-edged sword of some kind I think. I like having friends here. In my previous– institute, I actually made friends I consider my family by now. I still text my old doctor, I met someone I really liked and made a best friend that is pissed as fuck that I’m back because Rose is still fucking with my brain. Part of me is hoping people grow in this place but keep reminding the people that helped them, staff or other patients.” Charlie rambled quietly. Taking a small pause trying to make sure he wouldn’t keep on talking or say things he would regret. “But yeah~ There are good people here, staff that cares about us, therapists that don’t supervise in the lounge but do like to talk with patients that come in here to sit as well. So it’s pretty cool here to be frank.”

Sofia smiled at Charlie and nodded along with his example. She’d never been to Oregon, but she’d heard that the weather was a little more mild than it was here. “Careful not to get caught on your walks.” Sofia reminded him. “Its probably hard to get used to all the restrictions, but they’re in place for your safety.” She hated the thought of Charlie walking around after curfew and running into one of the guards.

The psychoanalyst’s brow wrinkled when her friend mentioned that he’d been in other hospitals. She intentionally hadn’t read too much of his medical history beyond what was necessary. It didn’t surprise her, considering what he’d been through, but she was interested in talking about it further. Sofia made a mental note to bring it up another time.

Camille had worked a partial overnight shift and into the morning. She was enjoying a brief break from her rounds. A well worn travel mug filled with black coffee warmed one of her hands. The bitter scent was a welcome wake up after working odd hours. Cam’s hair had been haphazardly braided partway through her shift to keep it out of the way and her scrubs were a bit wrinkled. Some quiet time in the second floor lounge sounded like the perfect break. 

Upon entering the room Cam noticed Sofia working on a couch and bundled up against the chill air of the old building. “No worries, I’m just on my break. I think Thornewood should be renamed The Ice Castle, it would fit better.” She replied with a quick smile, warm against the cold. Camille hadn’t spent much time getting to know Sofia, but she could tell that the therapist was a bit busier than usual. “Busy day for you?” She inquired as she took a seat in a nearby armchair. 

Sofia took in the sight of the disheveled braid in Camille’s hair and the look of an overnight shift. “Busy, yes.” Sofia replied, “But not the usual way.” The blonde looked over at Camille. “I’m not really working, but more... researching?” She shrugged and gave her coworker a soft smile. “How about you? Is your shift going well?” Sofia asked curiously. The heavily tattooed woman was a subject of fascination for Sofia. Her upbringing had been rather strict and her young advancement through university had left little time for living. Camille looked like someone who knew how to live for themselves. 

After a moment of small talk, Sofia paused and looked over at Camille and then back at her laptop. “Hey Cam...” Sofia added in a hesitant murmur. “When did you start working here?”

  To straighten his posture had been a good idea when a familiar accented voice returned the greeting. “Doctor Verrat,” Acknowledging her presence with a nod was all he could do, now that he recognized the woman. Although never vocal about it, Bambi could admit to himself that Sofia was intimidating in her own way; Strong, had an aura about her that made him recall the respect he’d harbored towards his superiors in the past. Knowing her position as neither a guard nor a nurse didn’t help the situation either, but Bambi was set on not letting those guarded thoughts through. Another attempt to rub last night’s sleep from his eyes brought the heels of his hands against closed eyes, the burst of starlight warding off some of it.

  The ease of dealing with another coworker helped some with the tension still lingering, and Bambi offered a brief nod at the question. There was no need to hide the heaviness of the morning near those who weren’t the guard or patients, so he let his chin settle in his hand, elbow sliding against the flat surface of the table as he settled. Head tilted to hear her better through the shrill note overlapping the words, he shrugged. “Feeling as well as I could after all the commotion. Heard one of the other guards didn’t even bother showing up today. Good to see nothing’s changed on that front at least.” A jab towards some of the lazier guards to ease the sudden apprehension the question caused. With a tilted head and a soft smile, he continued, “How about you? Expecting trouble now that everything’s back to normal?”

“Yes, I think a few people took sick days today.” Sofia nodded with a knowing grin. “I hope their night out was worth the hangover.” She took a sip of her coffee and thought back on her younger years of drinking in Berlin and dancing until the early morning hours. Those days had been few and far between at the time, but they seemed impossibly far behind her now. Sofia could not imagine herself letting loose like that now. 

“I never really anticipate much trouble, but the patients always find a way to cause it.” She smiled. “The New Years party was nice and drama-free, but I did not stay late. I don’t think romance is particularly helpful in these situations, and I knew there would be patients kissing at midnight, so...” She kind of chuckled and threw one hand up like she was brushing off the whole thought. “They will do as they please, I suppose. Scolding them won’t help anything.” She took another sip of coffee and looked at Bambi. “What are your thoughts on the rules around here? In some cases I think the leniency is better for everyone, but I get the impression that even the few rules there are are often broken.”

“Even with the heater?” Charlie said as he spotted the blonde woman sitting in the second-floor lounge. He had been wandering through the hallways himself. A styrofoam cup filled with coffee slightly warming his hands as the liquid grew colder by the second. Small sips which he drank without actually wanting to. Once more his body craved something more than the usual caffeine. Part of him had hoped he would have ran into Camille just so he might be able to get some nicotine. 

The night had been worse than it normally would have been. Maybe it made sense, with the month of February creeping closer and closer as well as the date that was branded into his mind for the rest of his life. Even with his whole mind screaming to sleep and not trust the memory of his sister following him around the halls. ‘She isn’t real Charlie, you know she isn’t.’ ‘But why does she seem so real then. I don’t fucking understand!’

But as far as he knew he kept a pretty good facade as he sat down opposite the woman. “Working hard as ever?” He asked softly as he saw the blonde sitting with her laptop. Part of him wondering what it was about. Part of him regretting he wasn’t in this place as a ‘professional’ any more. 

“I had it pointed at my feet for a while, but it just hasn’t been able to keep up with the drafts.” Sofia replied with a soft sigh. “I swear this building must lose hundreds in energy costs. The windows are all so drafty.” She nudged her feet underneath herself just a little bit more. The couch she was seated on was not under any windows thankfully. The blanket was doing an excellent job of keeping her legs warm, and her woolen cardigan was wrapped around her tightly.

“It is not really work, no.” Sofia admitted, looking up from the laptop with a gentle smile. She was developing a soft spot for Charlie, which was uncommon for her. “But it is keeping me busy. I am researching this area and the history of the hospital and I’m really into it.” She smiled and tilted the screen down so that it wouldn’t seem like a barrier between herself and Charlie. Sofia was the type to throw herself fully into something that had captured her interest. “I think the program here is really interesting. The sense of community is good for the patients I think, but I also wonder if the residents are staying longer than predicted because of that.” Sofia wasn’t going to tell Charlie, but she had her suspicions about the more negative elements of Thornewood. He was a patient here now though, and she didn’t want to make him distrust the process. “How do you feel about things from the patient side? Do you feel like your needs are being met?”

   With new years (thankfully) over, Bambi managed to get out of bed, shave, and get back to work. Like a dormant robot coming back to life, really, when he appeared in the halls of Thornewood as if nothing had happened. His body was still high-strung from the ordeal of fireworks, his mind hadn’t released its flight or fight mode, and it ached from the tension forced upon it. Even in the silence of pre-breakfast break- his body slouched over a distressed takeaway cup that was acting as a savior- it didn’t relent. Dull hazel eyes focused on the pattern of the table while a thumb rubbed lazy circles over his hairline. His eyelids felt heavy against the blaring lights overhead and he let them flutter shut, only for a moment. Five days since the zenith of it all, and only just had the nameless fear started to melt off, leaving only dark circles and pale skin in its wake.

   The huff that escaped his lungs matched that of a bored canine, likely about to turn into a throaty groan when he was cut off by a sudden clatter of chairs. It took painfully long for him to blink his eyes open and turn them towards the sound, the unforgiving light yet again making him squint against faux daylight. While the sight is still blurry against dry eyes his lips drew into a polite smile just as quickly as his posture straightened. “Good morn-” The cup that was held in a loose grasp toppled and he made a jerky motion to unnecessarily catch it before he offers a salute to the now clear figure, promptly following it with a full-body cringe.

Sofia’s voice was thick with her German accent, heavier than usual when she’d just been dragged from sleep an hour earlier. Her sharp eyes caught on every unraveled thread poking out of Bambi’s behavior: the tired eyes, the quick correction of posture, the nearly lost cup of coffee. It was early, she would grant him that. Even Sofia, who was so typically a bastion of proper dress code and formality, still had the dampness of her morning shower clinging to her hair. She offered a soft nod toward her colleague and approached the coffee station. She picked up the pot and slowly poured herself a cup, finishing it off with a small splash of creamer. 

“Coffee is exactly what this morning needed.” She smiled at Shiloh. “How are you feeling this morning? Ready for the day ahead?” She was unaware of Shiloh’s particular brand of fragility, but she knew psychological stress when she saw it. It was her job, after all. If the man wanted to brush everything off as a bad night’s sleep, she’d be fine with that, but talk therapy was her specialty and she liked to leave that door open.