A withered rose

My intro 🥀

Call me Soff [She/they] 10-11-08

A bit about me:

✨ Hyper romantic bambi lesbian

✨ Emotional codependent and insecure

✨ Pain idealisation

✨ Shelf neglects like all the time

✨ Cat and dog lover. They are the cutest animals in the whole world 🐾

✨ Loves writing short stories and novels, but is very insecure about it and I feel I would be judged U-U

✨ Ex-stalker trying for a new fresh start

What |love <3:

❤️ American Horror Story: I've started it recently, and I love the characters.

❤️ Star Wars: Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. (O///O)

❤️ Ao3 fics: I like reading happy alternatives stories about my favourites shows.

❤️ Little nightmares: Is amazing how you can feel the horror of a little child through the screen

❤️ Cinema: Classic horror, thriller, Tim Burton, Stanley Kubrick, war films, comedy, action...! enjoy the cinema in general.

❤️ Books: Novels written by Stephen King: Specially "The Shining" and "It". Coraline, The Hobbit, The lord of the rings, dark romance, horror, crime novels... I like books.

❤️ Anime: Good anime, like Aot, Dragon ball, Knights of the zodiac... Not the ones that are made as fan service for weird men.

❤️ My childhood cartoons: GravityFalls is a great series, like many others.

❤️ Science: Is fascinating learning how the wold works

❤️ Listening to music: I can't leave without my headphones 🎧

Dislikes < \3:

💔 High pressure because of high school. Like, I know I'm not doing well, you can stop making exams???

💔 Harsh criticism. I'm already insecure, please, if you don't like me just ignore me or leave me alone (QwQ)

💔 Mean people. If you are not able to treat someone with respect, what are you doing with your life?

Thank you for your time, I hope you like my personal blog ^w^

This is my writing blog, btw: https://www.tumblr.com/noa-c-001

Tw: vent 🥀

Todas las noches reproduzco en mi cabeza la última vez que hablamos antes de esos dos meses de silencio. Pero, revivo una y otra vez específicamente ese mensaje que decía algo así como: “como tú dijiste, hay una barrera del lenguaje”

Y era cierto, yo hablo español, tú inglés, cometo muchos errores a la hora de escribir las palabras porque mezclo las letras, y mi gramática en inglés no escribir la mejor del mundo.

Yo siempre vi esa barrera ideomática como un obstáculo a superar, y que era mi responsabilidad entender tu tono, que se entendiese mi tono, y que básicamente todo el peso de hacerme entender y entenderte a tí recaía en mi.

Y siempre ha sido así con el resto del mundo, no solo contigo. Si quiero hablar con mis amigos debo hacer el esfuerzo activo de escribir primero, debo elegir los chistes con cuidado para no tener que explicarlos, tengo que entender el estado emocional del resto y mostrar que no estoy enfadada (cosa complicada por mi cara de mierda), éter, etc, etc…

Y me pasó una cosa curiosa con mi madre hace como un par de semanas, y es que salíamos de recoger mi expediente académico del instituto, y estábamos hablando ella y yo sobre una amiga, y la presión que ponen los padres a los hijos, y esas cosas.

A lo que yo le pregunto: Entonces, ya que ha pasado todo, ¿Qué opinas sobre cómo lo he hecho?

Y me responde: Bueno cariño, a lo mejor lo que tengo que decir no te va a gustar

Y yo le digo: Tú tranquila, di lo que quieras, sé que tu intención no es herirme.

Y se para en seco con una cara como si le hubiese dicho que he asesinado a mi hermano.

Y le digo: ¿Qué? ?Que he dicho?

Que me contesta: ¿¡Cómo que herirte!? ¿¡Yo NUNCA te haría daño!?

Y me quedo quita así, un segundo, se me ilumina la bombilla (mi cerebro literalmente gritó “aaahhh carajo”)

Y le aclaro: que tu intención no es herirme. NO

Entoces se lleva la mano al pecho, respira, y me dice: ah, es que no te había escuchado el “no”

Y me disculpe porque ella no me había oído bien a mí.

Le pedí perdón porque ella no entendió parte de lo que yo le estaba diciendo.

Como si fuese responsabilidad mía que ella no captase bien todo el mensaje.

Por eso se quedó conmigo el que mencionaras la barrera del lenguaje. Parecía un reproche. Hacia mí.

Un recordatorio de algo que sigo haciendo mal de manera recurrente.

Guess what fandom im part of <3

Idea for a horror story 🎭:

the story takes place in the 1930s, when the first animated movie is going to be exported to other countries, like Spain and Latin America.

because of that, the company opens its first dubbing studios for different languages and regional varieties: one in Galicia, one in the Basque Country, one in Catalonia, one in Madrid, and one in Mexico.

each studio dubs the films according to the dialect spoken in its region, so, to keep every version consistent (both w each other and w the animation on screen) all the dubbing teams meet every two months at the company’s animation studio.

during this month’s meeting…

the main character walks out of the screen.

and starts wandering through the building like he owns the place.

at first, it feels like every creator’s dream.

getting to talk to one of ur own characters face-to-face.

…

what a shame his creator’s body is lying torn apart in the middle of the projection room.

w every exit blocked, there’s only one possible way out.

hidden somewhere in the movie is a spell.

a spell powerful enough to destroy the evil and return everything to the way it was.

but there’s one problem.

what language is the spell supposed to be cast in?

galician?

basque?

catalan?

castilian spanish?

latin american neutral spanish?

do they even have enough time to figure it out?

The best plan to do with friends when is 37º C outside

Obsession is one of the best horror films i’ve ever seen. (No better than “The shining”, “Coraline” or “It”, by still very good)

Aaaaaaa!!!!! @hpdamechan is following ✨me✨!!!

Now I feel like the coolest jirai girl everrrr!!

Thank you so much 🥹🥹🥹🥹

And also thank to @remorsefulorganthief for your support. is always a pleasure to know you like my posts 🥰

I’m alive bitches

okaaay…

i know i’ve kinda disappeared for a while, but i rly needed a break.

rn i’m trying to learn how to stop being emotionally dependent on ppl who don’t rly give a fuck abt me.

honestly, i have no idea how this is supposed to work w/o therapy 😭 but i do think i’ve made a lot of progress.

i’ve been hanging out w my friends again, and for the first time in a week i didn’t feel guilty for being happy!!!!

but then tumblr decided to test me 💀

one of the recommended blogs turned out to be the new blog of the person i used to be dependent on.

and now i have absolutely no idea what to do 😭

should i interact again?

would that be weird?

would it be creepy?

idk…

anyway, tonight was the fireworks show for the end of the San Pedro festival

here are a few pics!!

thankfully the fireworks didn’t disperse tho

🥀La noche de San Juan es mágica ✨

illi mini, guilty bitch. you don’t deserve to be seen 🥀

soff’s core 🥀

Tw: vent🥀

i think my mother has a trauma with people talking shit abt her being her back

and i get it, her childhood was hard, and people was cruel to her

i get it, trust me

bt now, is like she has to know every thought of mine, or i'm thinking/saying horrible stuff abt her

it's like, why I'm paying the consequences for smth that happened more than 20 years ago ago?

For example, one day we were at the kitchen, with the TV on, and they mentioned smth abt pizza. so i looked at my brother, and he looked at me, and we both knew the other also thought abt fnaf

then my mother noticed we were looking each other and started asking, "watch are you saying? What is so funny? Can I know? I want to know!"

we responded: "it's nothing, just our things"

And after asking a bit more, and we didn't really want to respond bc it would mean explain like a half of the fnaf lore, she said, very very seriously and angry, that if we didn't tell her immediately what was going on she would grounded us and take our phones away

And we told her abt what they have said on the TV (bc she didn't realise it was on), fnaf, what it had in common and why we found it funny

in the end she said: "well, I don't get it. I don't know why you two find it funny, is not"

And acted like she just forced us to explain with detail a single look

it should have been a tiny moment for us, a second in which we shared a thought and bonded. a fucking secon. our second

bt instad of letting us have our

moment between us, she had to know that we weren't thinking anything bad abt her

We didn't talked properly abt our stuff we both enjoy for three days

Tw: vent 🥀

i feel like a huge imposter 4 being someone who is just insecure abt their body and not having in any ed.

i feel like a huge imposter 4 being someone who is able to process emotional pain and never sh. (i have hit myself against my desk enough to leave bruises, but i didn’t do it that often and i don’t think that counts)

i feel like a huge imposter 4 being someone who has any mental disorders or depression or severe anxiety, just normal teen stuff.

i feel like a huge imposter who has being in a class where everyone studied way harder and more time than me.

i feel like a huge imposter 4 having so good friends. Like, i feel kinda bad they have to deal with me.

i feel like a huge imposter 4 archiving my dreams, even when i don’t know what would i do if i didn’t.

smt i feel a huge imposter 4 being happy.

smt i wish a future were i work too much in the biology field, with a gf who needed control over me, so i would be loved bt also feel i have the life i deserve.

OMG she is talking with meeeee!!!!!

i’m so happy rn i could start writing seriously again