Relax and take notes

Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from husband Brad Pitt on Tuesday and the world breathlessly looked to Jennifer Aniston for her response. They did this because once upon a time Aniston dated Brad Pitt, who eventually left her for Angelina Jolie.

For her part, Jennifer Aniston was not interested in discussing the matter.

“Fuck society, you people make me sick,” said Aniston on the Today show. “While you idiots are talking about this Brangelina bullshit, you’re ignoring what just happened yesterday with Terence Crutcher. An unarmed black father of four was driving home from college when his car broke down. The police showed up and shot him while both of his hands were in the air. This was all caught on video, which you can easily watch on the Internet. But instead, no, none of you will do that. You will instead focus on the fact that a celebrity couple is going through a divorce. Fuck you.”

Aniston continued:

“The same people that get super offended and lose their minds over whether or not an athlete takes a knee during the National Anthem don’t give two shits when an innocent person is executed with video evidence. They always say that it ‘needs more investigation.’ What is the matter with people? Do they not have souls? This country needs to get its shit together, stop shooting its citizens, and stop focusing on stupid nonsense so much.”

Response to Aniston’s comments have been divided.

“Damn, Jennifer is spittin’ hot fire today,” said one Facebook commenter. “I had no idea she was so woke.”

“How dare she? She can go to hell,” said another Facebook commenter. “We don’t need her libtard opinions about blah blah blah video evidence she just jealous cuz Angelina stole her man.”

A young girl climbed up a step ladder to stand at the podium before a tense Charlotte City Council meeting.

Petite in size, with braids in her hair and hearts on her t-shirt, Zianna Oliphant collected herself and delivered her message loud and clear.