when i make a particularly good post and hit post i can feel it coming right out of me into the world. through my amazing digital cervix

bojack horseman really treated hollyhock loosing a large amount weight from being secretly drugged as something bad and unhealthy and not as something with a silver lining bc she was now thin and then had her gain the weight back with no one making comments about how that was “unhealthy” and appropriately showed the fact that she was traumatized by the event and not secretly grateful other shows CAN NOT RELATE 

my penis got a parking ticket the other day.

I love the beatles but not as much as I love eating cardboard with mayonnaise on top !

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

they're both so fucking hot...

I love scent freaks. steal my used shirt, bury your face in the crook of my neck and breathe deeply when you hug me, wear my clothes when you get off because it feels much better with my scent all over you.