LOOKING OUT FOR YOU — KARASU TABITO
SYNOPSIS: karasu tabito has always looked out for you. when you meet his best friend, otoya, that fact still does not change.
note: lol sorry guys i felt a little silly
You have known Karasu Tabito since you have been in diapers.
It's always been a known fact. Your mothers met each other at the hospital, became friends, and eventually, you two met. That fateful day, you met Karasu Tabito and your life has never been void of him since.
At age three, you two went out to a waterpark and that was the first time he kissed you.
(It wasn't really a kiss—you accidentally fell on top of him after sliding down a waterslide, he promised he'd catch you, and he did—his mouth just happened to land on yours). You were so disgusted you started to cry—he gagged and ran away.
At age five and a half, you both had your first sleepover. He had a big scary dog that was almost as big as you were and scared you half to death. You were so terrified of the thing you refused to let go of the bottom of his stupid purple Megatron shirt.
You spent the entire night sleeping by his side, and he never once softened his grip on you—it was the only thing that lulled you to sleep. Your mom still had photos of you clinging onto him like it was life or death.
At age twelve, you two entered middle school together. You've never spent a day without him—so it was quite strange when you were forced to enter a strange, new class—and even weirder when your female classmates gave you both googly eyes and always giggled whenever you were around. You never really understood what they meant by this—and to this day, you still don't.
You and Karasu Tabito have known each other since you two were able to walk, and because of this fact, you've never once noticed the way he looks at you.
The soft stares, small smiles (not those stupid, cocky smirks that he holds when he's out on the field—but rather, a grin that curls up on his lips and makes his cheeks grow pink), and the thoughtful, almost unnoticeable actions he takes only for you.
You've never seen it—not now, not never, is what he's hoping. If there is one thing Karasu Tabito shall never do, is tell you what he's done. He'll wait, maybe for a day he will see you stare at him with just as much fondness, or when your touch will linger on his upper arm for a minute too long.
He's always been good at analyzing people—and when he's known you for so long, you've surely become no exception. It was a habit you hated so much, but one he never seemed to be able to get rid of—only able to hide, for the sake of your wellbeing. He's grown soft, he thinks, every single night after he's lying alone in his bed and staring blankly up at the ceiling. He has grown soft for you, his best friend since childhood. But that isn't so much of a bad thing, he thinks again.
He doesn't mind all that much.
The crow, once wild and rowdy, is content with the preening it receives from its owner—and learns to love its life trapped inside the golden cage. He will wait, patiently, for the day you would fall for him—at least, that is what he was originally planning to do.
At age eighteen, he introduced you to his best friend, Otoya Eita. A notorious football player, playboy, and womanizer. There is a good reason Karasu had waited so long to introduce his two closest friends together, and that is because Otoya had quite a history with all of Karasu's female friends.
He's told him to quit it, to stop—but it's never been as serious as it is now.
"Seriously man, don't with her." Karasu sits beside his friend with narrowed eyes and a frown. Otoya's expression is nonchalant as ever, except with a singular brow raised in question.
"What's got you so pissed? I didn't even say anything."
"I know you. Don't, dude. She's different, okay? I don't care about whatever happened with the others, but you seriously need to lay off."
Otoya raises his hands in mock defence, half-lidded eyes widening ever-so-slightly. "Alright. Promise. I won't do anything."
Karasu raises a brow, staring at his whistling buddy from the corner of his eye—he couldn't help but doubt him. Still, he was his closest friend from Blue Lock, and he should do well to trust that said friend—even if Karasu Tabito should know better.
He really should've known better.
As soon as Otoya caught sight of you—he slid next to you, ever so casually—with his phone stuck out and a small smile playing on his lips—asking for your number. You were shocked, of course, and Tabito had no shortage of criticism regarding his green-striped friend to speak to you—still, he was pretty cute, and pretty charming, with that grin.
So, despite your better judgement, and to Karasu's horror—you momentarily forget his words and nod—still in shocked silence—and pass him your phone.
Karasu doesn't think he's ever seen Otoya that happy. Still, you don't look uncomfortable—even with that gross, stupid man pressed right to your side—so Karasu holds his tongue and simply chews down, hard, on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from cursing his friend out.
The crow introduces the both of you together, and it does not take long at all before, he, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table from you two, becomes the so-called third wheel.
Karasu Tabito could only stare in silence as you and Otoya, surprisingly, held a decent conversation.
Tabito nearly socked Eita in the face when he slid his arm around you and winked—a cheesy, stupid action that could make even the most romantic author gag in horror.
Even so, you smile—and Tabito's heart drops to his stomach.
Karasu had mostly forgotten about this moment for a good week—choosing to just enjoy your presence after that. However, after that week of peace, he was rudely reminded just how persistent Otoya could be with girls.
"Otoya... is a nice guy." You point at your phone, showing it to your best friend with a smile. Your cheeks are flushed pink as you type back a response to his message—but it's half-written and unsent when Karasu snatches the device out of your hands.
He's never seen something so disgusting. It's vile. It's horrible. It's so gross.
"What the fuck?" He curses absentmindedly, eyes wide with disgusted shock as he reads over your conversations. At first, it was about Karasu and both your friendships with him—but those conversations soon turned into deeper, personal talks that you'd never shared with anybody but him.
You try and grab at your device—he pulls that stupid move where he holds it up higher than you can reach—you practically fall into his arms trying to grab the phone, "Tabito!! Give it back!!"
"Are you serious?" He looks down at you with furrowed brows and lips pulled taut downwards. He steadies you with a hand on your shoulder, eyes narrowed sharply. "I told you not to fall for this. Didn't I tell you about what he does to girls? I told you not to talk to him!"
Before this, you've never gotten truly angry at him. Sure, you'd fight—but not even an hour later, either one of you would come back and apologise for whatever petty thing had transpired in the fight. That was just how your friendship was, and he never thought it would change.
You look up at him with a deep frown and an angry stare—not the kittenish one that makes him laugh and ruffle your hair, but a different type of stare—where you are trying to dig knives into his skull and he thinks all the breath has been stolen from his lungs, "Why do you always do this? You always act like this whenever I try and talk to a guy—but this time, you're really acting like a fool! He's your friend, shouldn't you approve more than the past, oh I don't know, seven?!"
His wide-eyed shock is an opening for you to grab your phone back—so you do, and take a good few steps back.
I'm just... trying to look out for you... However, his thoughts go unspoken in his stupor.
Your voice is quieter now—arms folded underneath your chest and clearly avoiding his gaze, "I think you should go... Tabito. I'll talk to you later."
You murmur and walk away—with each step you take, he thinks he hears his heart shatter a little more inside his chest.
He slumps down on his desk with his head in his hands. He doesn't know what to do. He feels so stupid. He hadn't even realised it himself—had he really been so disapproving of all those guys that you'd stopped talking to them completely? And he didn't even know?
He feels more selfish than ever.
This voice is not one he'd like to hear right now. The source of his problems and pain—Otoya. Karasu groans and doesn't raise his gaze—his chest starts to hurt. "Go away."
He doesn't hear footsteps, so Karasu assumes he does not follow his demand. His thoughts are proven correct when Otoya speaks again, "She told me about whatever happened before."
Karasu clenches his jaw hard to stop himself from speaking. He feels like even more of a piece of shit. He just had to bring it up, didn't he? If he didn't introduce you two, this wouldn't have even happened, anyway. Maybe he should keep his lives separate next time—in whatever life he would live next.
"I know she's your friend and all, and you're super worried about her because of that—but I promise I won't do anything."
Those words make Karasu lift his gaze—tired eyes from the lack of sleep he got last night make his despair abundantly obvious. Still, Otoya's nonchalant expression that he always has plastered on his face does not budge an inch. "I promise you before, too. I won't do anything. I swear. I really like her. Like a lot. I swear, I won't hurt her. If I do, you can beat my ass, and I'll take it. So don't be petty like this, okay?"
The words don't soothe the ache in his chest.
Those words he spoke before, just before Otoya had met you—Karasu was worried about this exact scenario happening. But thinking back on it now—was he even worried about you?
He finds himself doubting it. In fact, it feels so much more natural to say that he was worried about himself. That he'd get hurt like this if this happened.
The lack of response from Karasu gives Otoya the answer he was looking for—the last thing he hears as Otoya walks away is an annoyed sigh.
Karasu is, once again, left alone in his room.
He really wants to collapse and just never wake up. He hates this.
Karasu Tabito really is a selfish man. He wants you all to himself yet never tells you—he truly is the worst man alive.
That's all. That's all he knows.
His chest aches even more and he thinks his heart may just go beating out of his chest. He grits his teeth, hard, and clenches his fists over his face.
The crow in the golden cage is afraid to let go—so in such an act of desperation, it grabs onto its owner's arm—clinging and screeching before they can possibly move away.
He is selfish. You're all his heart has ever known—and you are all he wants. He thought he could wait and everything would turn out fine—but now, he sees that he was so, so wrong.
He'd made up his mind. He couldn't wait any longer. He had to tell you. Otherwise, these feelings would rot away in the back of his mind forever and whatever was left after that—and Karasu would die, simply unfulfilled and empty, lacking the love that is you.
The lingering stares, the small touches a bit too close to be friends, the words whispered into your ears late at night when you come to him in tears—all of that can't be for naught.
This couldn't all be for nothing.
He has to tell you. It's now, or never.
He finds himself running down the street in low-hanging pyjama pants and a black tank top—it's cold, really cold on his tanned skin—but he can hardly feel the snow pricking at his skin as his slippers make contact with the damp concrete ground.
He looks around frantically for the spare key your parents keep outside your house. Underneath the potted plant. Right.
He effortlessly lifts the giant pot of aloe vera, and cracks open your door, silently—the first thing he hears is the loud blasting of corny Christmas music, and the sound of your voice laughing along to a song sung by the Whoville residents.
His breathing picks up, and he runs forward—however, Tabito is stopped in his tracks, by another voice.
If this is truly what heartbreak feels like, then Karasu Tabito is not sure why humans even bother to fall in love. Maybe it is a primal, instinctual reaction that has no logical explanation or meaning to look into—it is simply a blessing, or curse, of nature that cannot be stopped or ignored.
Love is an unexplainable thing.
It makes you feel so many strange things. Foreign, unnatural, and most of all—weird. Love is really, really weird.
It makes you wish to cry, then smile as far as you possible can. It makes your stomach twist with butterflies and makes you have the inexplicable urge to press your lips together with another person. An act of love only shown by humans. An act of love that the crow could never have.
Love makes you selfish, soft, and weak.
But love can also make you giving, tough, and strong.
Love makes Karasu Tabito walk away.
Love makes Karasu Tabito leave you, with the words silent and dead in his mouth.
Even as the cold winter air nips at his nose and he feels like his stomach is trying to collapse in on itself, Karasu Tabito still feels love. This sort of love is so inexplicably strong and all-consuming—a love that he has always felt for you.
The kind of love that will set you free.
Perhaps the crow had dug his talons too deep into its owner—and now, it was left, stuck alone in that golden cage with blood shining on its claws and silent.
Karasu's always looked out for you—this time, he thinks, maybe, this is the best for both of you.
You looked so happy. You've never looked that happy with him. The thought makes his heart ache and his thoughts jumble up. He stands in the snow—his loose, ungelled hair falls down his neck and snowflakes look like glitter in his deep purple hair.
He really does love you, and that's why he lets you go.
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