where all is lost,

every print i left upon the track has led me here.

i hope you love me.

and i know none of this will matter in the long run.

i want you to love me. you.

bang it, bite it, bruise it.

whenever you want to begin, begin.

we don’t have to go back to where we’ve been.

i am the woman who wants you to win.

i’ve been waiting for you to love me.

____ said i had potential.

i didn’t smile, because a smile always seemed rehearsed.

i’m pissed off, funny, and warm.

back then i didn’t know what potential meant.

____ wasn’t gentle and she wasn’t my friend.

she got through to me and i’ll never see her again.

i’m a good man in a storm.

i’ve been thinking about when i was trying to be your friend.

i was just so furious, but i couldn’t show you, ‘cause i know you and i know what you can do, and i don’t want a war with you.

you get sore, even when you win.

you maim when you’re on offense, but you kill when you’re on defense.

i’ve always been too smart for that, but you know what? my heart was not.

i’m ashamed of what it did to me, what i let get done. it stole my fun.

fetch the bolt cutters, i’ve been in here too long.

you seem so nice. i guess you’ve changed.

i listened because i hadn’t found my own voice yet, so all i could hear was the noise that people make when they don’t know shit, but i didn’t know that yet.

i grew up in the shoes they told me i could fill.

shoes that were not made for running up that hill, and i need to run up that hill.

i would beg to disagree, but begging disagrees with me.

i told you i didn’t want to go to this dinner.

kick me under the table all you want. i won’t shut up.

if i don’t wanna go, leave me alone, don’t push me.

you can pout, but don’t you shush me.

evil is a relay sport when the one who’s burned turns to pass the torch.

i resent you for being raised right.

i resent you for never getting any opposition at all.

i resent you for presenting your life like a fucking propaganda brochure.

don’t want to hurt you, but i don’t want to hurt myself even more. i’m sorry.

they don’t know what they are in for, and they don’t care, but i do.

i’ve been used so many times, i’ve learned to use myself in kind.

i, too, used to want him to be proud of me. 

i wonder what lies he’s telling you about me to make sure that we’ll never be friends.

we were cursed the moment that he kissed us.

i grew concerned when i saw him start to covet you.

in my own way, i fell in love with you.

i watch him walk over, talk over you, be mean to you and it makes me feel close to you. it’s not what it’s supposed to do.

when he leaves me, please be my guest to whatever i might’ve left in his kitchen cupboards, in the back of his bathroom cabinets.

there’s a dress in the closet. don’t get rid of it, you’d look good in it.

no love is like any other love, so it would be insane to make a comparison with you.

i spread like strawberries.

i’ve been sucking it in so long that i’m busting at the seams.

people like us get so heavy and so lost sometimes.

we get dragged down, down to the same spot enough times in a row. the bottom begins to feel like the only safe place that you know.

your face ignites a fuse to my patience.

whatever you do is gonna be wrong.

be good to me before you’re gone.

what i’ve become is something i can’t be without your loving.

how do you suppose that we’ve survived?

she’s tired of planting her knees on the cold, hard floor of facts, trying to act like the other girl acts.

you tie everything all pretty in the second act, when you know that it didn’t go exactly like that.

why did you take it all away?

why did you not want to try?

now i understand. you’re a human and you got to lie. you’re a man and you got to get what you want how you want it.