(Incorrect) Snowpiercer Recaps

It’s Alex’s turn to monologue this episode. In her opening line, she directly contradicts what Melanie said in the departure flashback - Alex was ten when the world became a train, not eight. I already need a break.

In the next part of the monologue, Alex calls Wilford “daddy Dubs”. If the fandom appropriates that for their Wilford thirst I’m gonna scream! Alex was lonely on Big Alice, and after seeing Layton lead by listening to others (lol what? He’s still got a lot of work to do on his listening skills!) how she’s now on Melanie and Layton’s side.

In the monologue breaks, Wilford visits the oubliette brig to drop a Labyrinth reference on Alex, and Layton and Ruth work on a dance routine in The Swamp.

Ruth tells Layton they’re going to have to be ruthless, and he doesn’t point out the pun! Unforgivable! Layton tells Ruth that Wilford’s complete disregard for the lives of the people of Snowpiercer means that, to beat him, they don’t need to question whether they can sink to Wilford’s level - they need to question whether they’re willing to risk everything. Ruth is.

Alex finishes up her monologue by trashing the brig and saying that, one day, she’ll break the cycle and walk away from Snowpiercer, with its people.

After the opening credits, Ruth is doing all the work while Layton’s on a break. The guard asks for their lunch tray to be returned, and Ruth takes the opportunity to show the guard her Oliver Twist impression. But it’s a trap! The guard puts their hand through the window to retrieve the tray, and Layton tightens a trap around the guard’s wrist. They have a little tug of war, until Layton finally yanks the guard into the door. Layton stabs the guard with the shard of glass he stashed away last episode, and Ruth delivers a blow to the guard’s face with the shovel handle. Then they steal the keys, unlock the door from the inside (which feels like a big design flaw!!), and head out to find Javi.

They sneak around the train, and run into Alex in the brig. Ruth tells Alex that her mum is still alive, and Layton tells Alex that they’re going to steal Big Alice and pick Melanie up. I’m not sure how they were planning to disconnect the trains given that they’re supposed to be locked together forever now? Chopping off the tail, maybe? Anyway, Alex tells them that the train needs both engines to get over the Rocky Mountain Test Track, so they’re going to have to steal the whole train anyway. She also tells them about a secret entrance to Wilford’s bedroom! Layton wants to reward her for that by breaking her out of the brig, but Alex thinks it’s a better idea for her to stay - she’s going to pretend to be sorry to Wilford and keep him distracted.

Up in the First Class Dining room, Wilford is using the table as a desk, while Audrey is using the dining room sofa as a bed. He’s annoyed that Audrey isn’t awake yet, but pleased that his new advisor is an early riser. Till, however, does not look pleased to be there. There’s a W pin on her detective coat, and she points out that she’s not an advisor if he never takes her advice.

Kevin enters the scene to tell Wilford that Zarah threatened him with a fork when he delivered today’s dinner invitation. I would’ve liked to see that! Wilford suggests offering her a promotion to convince her, but Till and her detective coat advise him that Zarah isn’t going to be bought while Layton is locked away. Kevin offers to slap Zarah, so Wilford very vioently punches Kevin.

Wilford then asks Till why he just punched Kevin. She sasses him, suggesting it’s because of poor impulse control. But then offers a real answer: it’s because pregnancy comes with privilege on Snowpiercer. Wilford and Kevin then say the most disgusting lines in the whole show, and in the interest of our collective mental health I won’t repeat it here. If you know, you know.

Finally, Wilford orders Audrey to get up and visit Zarah.

The next scene is just straight-up comedy (and a little bit of killing). Layton and Ruth bicker as they sneak into Wilford’s bedroom, then quietly head out to the engine room. Conveniently they’re right next to all the swords! They select weapons and spy on the guards through the curtain. Then, it turns out that ruthless Ruth ruths just as hard as regular Ruth: she runs into action too early, screaming. Luckily, Ruth and Layton still manage to take out a Jackboot each.

With the guards both dead, Javi and Ruth both immediately freak out.

Javi hugs Layton (the first hug of many this episode!), then tells him he smells like crap. Ruth gets everyone a nerve-steadying drink. Layton accidentally sits on the sofa next to a corpse, then awkwardly shuffles away. It’s gold. They catch us up on what’s happening with the train: they have two hours before they reach the curve, and need to somehow communicate their plan to Bennett. (But not Melanie? Why aren’t they radioing her with an update!? The guards are dead now!)

Ruth explores the weird shit in the room while Javi paces out his stress and Layton tries to mask how frustrated he is with his new allies. Ruth ruths hard again, and Layton comes running to her aid - but she’s just excited about the fancy bathroom. Ruth’s expression is pure joy as she runs the water.

In the Big Alice lab, Icy Josie is learning to use her new hand, and chatting to a new character. Josie was scared when she nearly froze to death (fair enough!), but she’s not scared about going outside now - she wants to see what she can do. She, more than anyone, deserves to fuck some shit up!

Next, we catch up with Alex. She’s apologising to Wilford, and telling him everything he wants to hear. For some reason, Wilford is still trusting Till and her detective coat? This feels like a plothole, but fine!

Till clearly doesn’t believe a word out of Alex’s lying little mouth, but nevertheless, she advises Wilford that Alex seems to be telling the truth. Alex then takes her ass-kissing even further - she’s also going to apologise to Audrey and LJ. While LJ gives Mr. Wilford some breakfast, Alex whispers to Till that Layton escaped and he’s going to seize the engine.

Back in Big Alice, Layton and Ruth have both had a bath, and stolen some of Wilford’s clothes - a shirt for Ruth, and a t-shirt and leather jacket for Layton. Javi comes up with a secret code to communicate with Bennett, and calls in with some coordinates of fake track obstructions. Bennett checks them up, then confirms in his own code that got the message. This is all going far too smoothly! Javi bids Layton and Ruth goodbye, and he and Ruth share hug #2 before Javi locks himself into the cockpit. On their way out, Layton grabs a handy conversation facilitation tool from the Jackboot he killed earlier.

At the border, Lights and ZWreck receive a very circus-y looking delivery. They take it up to car 272, where Boki is waiting. Does he just hang out at the abandoned carnival in his downtime? Is that where Jinju, Klimpt, Zarah’s partners from s1e1 and Miles have been this whole time?

Boki opens up the box to reveal Ruth and Layton squished inside, and ZWreck looks at Boki as though he wants to be just like him one day.

I really enjoy how much this episode leans into the ridiculousness of the characters and sets, and just sort of lets them all run wild.

Layton hugs ZWreck and Lights (bringing the hug count to 4!), while Boki marvels at the fact that he’s now allied with the Tail due to “son-of-a-bitch Wilford”. Layton agrees, then gets briefly distracted by the fact that he’s just stepped out of a box and into a fucking carnival.

Ruth updates Boki on the plan, and he confirms that he can set up a coldlock mid-train. It’s perfect! They’ll grab Melanie and bring her back to the carnival car, so that she can use the phone there to make a public address. Boki agrees with yet another stunning quote: “Okey-dokey! Let’s go make coup!”

Up in the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Audrey pours herself a drink and chats away to Zarah without any self-awareness. After a while, she softens a bit and explains that she’s trying to help Zarah - Zarah doesn’t actually have the leverage that she thinks she does. Wilford doesn’t need Zarah, just her womb (yikes!!!!!!!!) - the Headwoods can take Zarah right out of the equation.

Zarah pretty much ignores Audrey’s warning, and Audrey impatiently insists that they are the same as they’ve always been: survive, survive, survive! Before Audrey can try converting Zarah to the Wilford cult, their conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door. It’s Till and her detective coat! She’s back on room service duty! But she’s not delivering bug bar breakfast this time - she’s delivering a fist, directly into Audrey’s nose.

Zarah briefly panics at the sight of Audrey dramatically falling to the floor, then relaxes when she realises that it’s just her kind-of-sister-in-law compensating for the fact that she hasn’t committed any acts of physical violence for a few episodes. Till relays Alex’s message to Zarah, and they drag Audrey into a small room together.

Up in the engine, Sykes is making the most of Snowpiercer’s snacks while babysitting Bennett. He pretends that he needs to fetch some maps, but Sykes smells that bullshit instantly and tells him to use the satellite. Bennett carries on, claiming that the satellite reception is degraded, then makes a quick move on the Jackboot to shove them out of the engine and close the door.

Sykes casually eats one more piece of tangerine, puts the rest of the fruit down, and slowly walks towards Bennett. Bennett gets ready for a fight and says he doesn’t want to hurt Sykes, which is very cute of him!

Bennett obviously gets his ass absolutely handed to him, because Sykes is a fucking badass. One of the many times that Bennett is crashed up against a desk during the fight, he manages to enter the command to switch the track. When the train changes direction, the unexpected movement throws Sykes off balance for long enough that Bennett is able to smash a laptop into Sykes’ head - which is how to knock someone immediately unconscious on TV! He radios Javi to tell him that they’ve successfully switched the track.

Next, Layton calls Bennett in the engine. They’re only about ten minutes from the station. Sykes is tied up on the floor, and warns Bennett that Wilford will notice that they’ve turned onto the rough test track. But Bennett hates receiving criticism about his driving, and tells Sykes to shut up.

Sykes was right, though: downtrain, Wilford notices the bumpy track. He gets Alex to check what’s happening. Alex calls Bennett and pretends it’s just avalanche debris. Wilford seems ready to accept her explanation, until LJ rats her out. He looks out of the window, then heads to Big Alice with Jackboot reinforcements. It’s a good thing it’s only a five minute journey to the border! A Jackboot is ordered to bring Alex, too. Somehow, they don’t notice Alex swipe a razorblade from Wilford’s tile and hide it in her mouth.

Alarms alert Layton and Boki to the fact that Wilford must already know that the train has switched tracks. Meanwhile, Bennett and Javi have a nervous chat over the comms while Jackboots hammer at their respective engine doors. Javi tries to make up for that time Alex called him the fifth engineer, and Bennett lets him have it in case Jackboots murder him within the next few minutes. Javi begins to play music and pray to the hula dancer figurine.

Wilford soon arrives in the engine room, banishes Alex from his sight, then gives orders to a Jackboot. He wants them to bring a cutter to the door, and to fetch his dog.

Uptrain, Bennett and Layton are on the phone again. Bennett is worried that he didn’t catch sight of Melanie from the engine. I still don’t know why they didn’t radio her as soon as Layton and Ruth killed the Jackboots near the start of the episode! Anyway, Bennett has slowed down, and he’ll slow even more when Boki’s cold lock reaches the pickup point. Layton and Boki peer out of a window together, hoping to see Melanie. And, not long later, they do!

Meanwhile, on Big Alice, Jackboots have finished cutting through Javi’s door. They throw him away from the helm and start to beat him up, while Jupiter barks in the background. Javi repeats what Bennett told him last episode: Wilford can’t afford to kill engineers. But, unfortunately, the engine bros forgot that Wilford is the same guy who was literally going to murder them all at the push of a button in episode one! Wilford is not very logical when he’s angry. He sets Jupiter on Javi, then accelerates Big Alice as hard as he can.

Bennett desperately pushes the breaks, and contacts Big Alice to tell Javi to slow down. But it’s Wilford who replies. He tells Bennett that his breaking won’t matter, because Big Alice has more torque. In the background, Jackboots drag Javi away. Alex screams at Wilford to stop because the breaks will overheat, and Bennett panics that Wilford will derail them. Wilford doesn’t give a fuck about either of those very urgent problems, though! His number one priority is to make sure that Melanie gets left behind.

Alex cries out for Melanie at the back window, showing the other perspective of the final scene from episode six. She tries to plead with Wilford to turn the train around - for Melanie and the science. Wilford insists that the warming Earth theory is a fantasy - he thinks that Melanie couldn’t accept that he saved the lives of everyone on the trains. If that’s what he genuinely believes is happening, even after seeing all the data, then he needs some serious professional help to get him connected to reality!

Wilford then briefly calms down his anger, and tries to manipulate Alex instead. He tells her that it breaks his heart that she’s more like Melanie than him. Alex insists that she’s like both of them, but he doesn’t agree. He then tells Alex that he was just using her to get to Melanie, he has no more use for her, and that she can join Melanie trackside. Alex hurts him back, by telling him that he could never be the leader Melanie is! He retaliates by slapping her, and she fights back by slicing his neck with her razor blade.

Alex runs away while Jackboots rush Wilford to the Headwoods. The doctors patch him up quickly, and Icy Josie spies on them. Meanwhile, Alex sneaks through the train until she runs into Layton and Boki. They’re on their way to ask Ruth what to do next, but Alex has a plan for how they could still save Melanie.

In car 272, Layton, Ruth, Boki and Alex discuss the plan. They can disconnect some cars, quickly pop back for Melanie, and then reconnect again. Big Alice’s engine can run the train while they’re gone. There’s only one car that can be decoupled in a lockdown, though: the aquarium.

Back in the lab, Wilford is stitched up but still a bit weak. He orders the Jackboots to the border, then tells Josie it’s her big day! She has to go all the way to Snowpiercer’s engine (which only takes about five minutes, if you run inside the train!), and breach it to freeze Bennett. The Headwoods protest that Josie isn’t anywhere near ready to go that far, but Wilford yells at them to do it anyway.

Up in the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Layton is updating Zarah, Till and Till’s detective coat on the situation. He thinks that they have to go ASAP, otherwise Wilford will take over forever. Neither Till nor Zarah are thrilled with the plan.

Layton calls back to his opening chat with Ruth - he’s willing to risk everything to beat Wilford. Till reluctantly agrees to join him, but Zarah still won’t. Till senses another argument brewing, and makes an excuse to get the fuck out of there. Layton and Zarah disagree about what’s safest: Layton wants them to stay together, but Zarah believes that all of Wilford’s creepiness about the baby will keep her safe. They decide to stay on separate trains, and hug (that’s hug #5!) goodbye. All these hugs, and still none for Till!

On Big Alice, the Headwoods take Icy Josie to the coldlock and remind her of her training. I really don’t get why they’re all going along with this, given that the Headwoods don’t think Josie is ready, and Josie is one of the least likely characters on the whole show to join Wilford. I guess she must just reeeeeeeeeally want to get outside and see what she can do! The doctors give Icy Josie a weapon, quickly demonstrate how to use it, and promise to patch her up when she returns. Then, Icy Josie goes outside.

The open coldlock sends an alert to Bennett. Sykes freely offers up the information that the coldlock alert must mean that Wilford’s coldwoman is heading outside. Uh, is Sykes concussed? Why is Wilford’s head of security just handing out information about Wilford’s plans? Anyway, Bennett realises that Wilford’s coldwoman must be Josie. Does Bennett know of Josie from that time his girlfriend tortured her, or that time he threatened to dismember her kid?

Sykes then continues to leak more information! Wilford likely sent Josie to breach the engine, which will kill them both. Maybe that’s why Sykes is telling Bennett everything: self-preservation. It’s not exactly the best quality for a security guard, but I like Sykes a lot more than Wilford so I’m not complaining!

Bennett is confident that Josie wouldn’t breach the engine, and contacts her via the radio. After a brief introduction, a polite discussion about the weather, and a chat about last night’s episode of Eastenders, Bennett asks for Josie’s help to disconnect the engine.

Up in a First class corridor, Wilford and Layton meet. Layton tells Wilford that he’s not there to fight.

There are so many iconic quotes in this episode!

There’s a quick scene showing Boki unlocking the overrides and updating Bennett. Then, we cut to Ruth. She’s running through the train, for an unknown reason. Boki is already at the aquarium car, and he and Ruth left car 272 at the same time! Why didn’t they travel together? Did Ruth have a side mission that got cut? Anyway, she gets lured into a trap: an open Hospitality door and a very tempting teal jacket.

Ruth runs in to grab the teals, and Kevin shuts the door with a single finger while menacingly zapping his cattle prod. It’s ridiculous, and I love it. Kevin demands that Ruth hands the teals back, or threatens that they’ll do it the hard way. Ruth agrees, gives her teals one last sniff, and approaches Kevin to hand over the jacket. But she’s ruthless today! As soon as Ruth gets close enough, she knees Kevin in the balls and steals his cattle prod. She then zaps him until he squeals, snatches the jacket, and runs off with the stolen cattle prod and her precious teals.

Uptrain, Layton has lured Wilford to the aquarium car. He tells Wilford to be nice to everyone while the train pirates are gone. To ensure that he does, Till brings out a bound, gagged, bloody Audrey. Wilford is appalled to see his paramour in such a state. Till whispers to Layton that Ruth hasn’t arrived yet, missing yet another pun opportunity! They are literally Ruth-less right now! Come on!

But Layton doesn’t include Ruth in his bargain: Audrey is their guarantee of Zarah’s safety. Poor Ruth!

Wilford asks Layton who’s doing the manual disconnect, and then the scene cuts to Jackboots running through the tunnels, towards Boki. He loses contact with Bennett while he fights all six of them himself! What a guy! Above, Wilford gloats that he’d never let anyone uncouple his engine, and begins to walk through the aquarium car. Layton grabs Audrey and threatens to kill her with his conversation axe if Wilford doesn’t move back behind the link.

Wilford calls Layton’s bluff, much to Audrey’s distress.

She cries and begs Wilford for her life, but Wilford insists that he knows that Layton wouldn’t kill her. Some tense music plays while Layton presses the axe blade to Audrey’s throat, contemplating whether to prove Wilford wrong and kill one of his fellow revolutionaries.

But Icy Josie arrives just in time to prevent Layton from having to make a difficult decision! Bennett (having lost contact with Boki) has instructed Josie to smash the aquarium car. Josie breaks a window, and the water and sea creatures rapidly begin to freeze. As the glass begins to crack inside, everyone realises how fucked they’ll be if they don’t immediately run.

Wilford jumps behind the J-link just in time, and we have no idea whether Boki managed to do the same. Meanwhile, Ruth watches on from many cars away. She’s happy for a moment, before it dawns on her that all her friends just left her with Wilford. How ruthless!

The end of the episode shows Layton and Alex out for a little stroll in the snow. They banter via radio with Bennett and Till, who are sweating away in the engine room. When Alex and Layton reach the research station, Alex calls out to Melanie/Mom. There are increasingly positive signs as they move through the station, until finally they find a tent! But when they open it up, they only find Melanie’s data.

Alex picks up Melanie’s notebook and begins to read her mother’s goodbye letter, while Layton tries to find Gina’s cousins in the geothermal vent. When he returns, Alex and Layton pack up the equipment and walk back to the pirate train while Melanie does a voiceover reading out parts of her letter. She says that Alex is her hope, and tells her to learn to love their allies.

Finally, Bennett plugs in the climate data and the screens display some warm spots. Yay! The coup wasn’t completely useless! They all look to Layton for what to do next, and he suggests the obvious course of action (but in a suitably badass way)

This was a difficult recap to write, because I kept getting distracted by everyone’s outfits. So, before we get started, let’s just take a moment to revel in all of this:

The costume department of this show are queer heroes, and I hope they know it.

Ruth monologues this episode. The very first word is hope, so I guess we’re back on that theme! She reflects on the different ways that Melanie and Layton have used hope to unite the people, whereas Mr. Wilford has turned hope into fear. The monologue plays over scenes of Ruth getting dressed in her teals and travelling through the train, overseeing workers: things are running smoothly since Wilford took control. It also plays over a scene showing Jackboots stealing patient records from Dr. Pelton, while Ruth talks about keeping her own hope hidden in the people who can rekindle it.

Then, there’s a monologue break. Ruth, Till and Till’s detective coat have a sneaky conversation in the doorway of the Brakemen’s lockup - which is conspicuously free from any signs of Eugenia or Logan! We learn that Ruth and Till don’t know what’s happened to the Roche family, and that Wilford has sent for Till. Uh oh. Ruth heads inside.

Zarah tells Ruth that Layton is in The Swamp (Big Alice’s compost). Then, Ruth promises to try to find out why Wilford sent for Till. But she’s very busy at the moment, planning a dinner party and/or circus for Wilford. Zarah suspects that Audrey has told Wilford a lot about them, and Till and her detective coat are very stressed out. The others try to comfort her.

It’s been a month since their simultaneous breakup, so why not?

After the opening credits, Ruth and Kevin are accompanying Mr. Wilford to a suit fitting in First Class Dining - where else!? Mr. Wilford asks Ruth and Kevin to run a full census, so that they can split the classes up again.

Up in Snowpiercer’s engine, Javi and Bennett aren’t happy that Wilford is dividing them. Javi is worried about being sent to The Swamp. Bennett tries to cheer Javi up by giving him an old iPod from 2004 and reminding him that Wilford is very unlikely to kill either of them, because there aren’t enough trained engineers. Then, they give us some timeline info: they’re a week away from picking Melanie up, they’re running a day late, and they haven’t had contact with her in over a week. Finally, Javi collects his bag and his hula dancer figurine, gives Bennett one of the most unnatural fist bumps I’ve ever seen, and leaves for Big Alice.

In the corridors, Ruth is pressing Kevin for information on the big surprise, but he’s not telling! They chip into the non-torturey Hospitality room to discover a very pissed off Dr. Pelton, the Notary, and stacks of boxes of files. Ruth is outraged to discover that the files are medical records, not passenger files, and further outraged to discover that the age categories are children, adolescents, 18-39 and…

The Notary shows Ruth a sample questionnaire, which contains some very concerning questions designed to identify Tailies and rebels. Ruth is, once again, outraged. Kevin says he’ll snitch on her, and Ruth tells him that she’ll “have [her] own conversations with Mr. Wilford, thank you very much!” Ruth and Kevin bickering is very fun to watch. I just wish it was about something less awful!

In Big Alice’s engine, Javi is getting creeped out by the artwork. Alex calls him the fifth engineer (ouch!), then instructs him to sit down and not touch anything. Javi asks whether one of the panels is new, and Alex tells him that she just upgraded its interface on the second Revolution. So… she did the upgrade when she was either eight, nine, ten or eleven years old (depending on when her birthday is, and who’s right about her age at departure)!? I know she’s talented, but it’s still fucking wild that an eight year old was casually upgrading parts of the train that was keeping everyone alive!

Javi cracks out the figurine and passive-aggressively places it on the helm. Alex passive-aggressively reminds him not to touch anything. Javi then tries to explain the story behind the figurine - it’s a joke of Melanie’s. But Alex sees right through him and verbally cuts him down. When Alex feels the train, Javi tries to flatter her - Melanie said she has The Touch. But Alex doesn’t fall for bonding attempt #2, either, and shuts Javi in the cockpit with a Jackboot while she heads uptrain.

On Snowpiercer, Sykes takes Till and her detective coat to meet Wilford at a new exhibition in the art gallery. I’m going to resist the temptation to write an entire paragraph about those two walking around together in their beautifully queer outfits, and focus on the plot: Wilford shows Till and her detective coat his favourite painting.

Mr. Wilford, it is creepy to demand a meeting with someone you don’t know and immediately start asking them about porny paintings! Stop!

Till and her detective coat challenge Mr. Wilford about the disappearing passengers - especially her big brother, her dad, and his other family. Wilford responds by being creepy again! He calls Till a curious creature and says he doesn’t know what to do with her. Yuck! Till is feeling gutsy today, so she suggests that she should continue looking for the breach workers’ killers. Wilford complains that he never needed a detective before, because there wasn’t any crime on his train. Till counters that she doesn’t think he’s that naive, to which he (creepily, again) replies that he doesn’t think she’s that innocent.

After a quick Britney Spears lipsync battle, Wilford relaxes a bit and tells Till that the Roches have been drawered. They’ll be undrawered when everything settles down again. Till warns Wilford that Roche’s drawering won’t go down well, but Wilford has a nice distraction planned! He orders Sykes to take Till on a date to car 272.

Back on Snowpiercer, Kevin is excited to finally tell Ruth about the surprise: Mr. Wilford is opening car 272! And, even better, he’s putting Kevin in charge! Kevin and Ruth semi-kidnap Winnie and take her into Willy’s World. Yep, they seriously called it that! LJ and Alex are enjoying the rides, and Kevin tries to get them to stop. Bennett and his hair gel and Till and her detective coat are standing around at the side, being edgy together. When they see Ruth, they head over and Till tells her that the Roches have been drawered. But then, it’s time for the tech rehearsal! A picture speaks a thousand words so, uh, Wilford does this:

Next, we briefly catch up with Layton in The Swamp. He’s covered in shit and eating bug bars again, and that’s all we see before the next scene.

Josie wants to know what the Headwoods have done to her body without her consent! She didn’t sign up to be the next Icy Bob! The Headwoods calm her down, and suggest that they find out what Josie can do. Josie’s inner nerd wins out, and they all go off to do some experiments.

I hate it and I love it and it’s creepy but it’s great! (Sidenote: if Alex, Bennett and Wilford are all here, is Javi controlling both engines?)

When he’s finished making his grand entrance, Mr. Wilford announces the puppet show. This genuinely might be worse than the mangolingus scene? Alex is offended by the Alex puppet, so she does what she does best and storms off. Wilford mimes along to the words while the puppeteer does a pretty decent Sean Bean impression. When it’s over, LJ, Kevin and Wilford give the show a standing ovation. The others quietly seethe.

Wilford doesn’t understand what’s wrong with them all! Winnie calls him a liar and storms off Alex-style. Bennett calls the show pathetic, and Alex doesn’t think they have time for all this - they’re already a day late to pick up Melanie. Wilford suggests that Alex didn’t pay enough attention to the end of the show (where the Melanie puppet dies). Then, he drops the bomb that he knows the final launch data was faked: Ben lost contact with Melanie ten days ago.

Bennett admits it’s true, and Sykes escorts Bennett back to the engine before he has a chance to tell Alex much more - except not to give up on Melanie. With Ruth, Bennett and Sykes gone, Till has yet another poor anger management moment and decides to antagonise Wilford. In response, Wilford gets Kevin to start handing out tickets out to the dinner party. Wilford himself hands a ticket to Till, and tells her to “dress [her] next advice in eveningwear.”

Next, there’s a brief scene of Ruth Ruthing around before cutting to Zarah, uptrain. She’s giving Winnie a message for Josie, but Kevin interrupts them. After making sure Winnie is hidden, Zarah greets Kevin with a very Audrey-esque, “What do you want?” He wants to give Zarah some candyfloss! She snatches the snack and smashes his hand in the door. Zarah is getting more brutal by the day and I love that for her! Kevin shoves the dinner invitation under the door and leaves, clutching his hand.

The dinner means Wilford will be busy tonight - it’s a perfect opportunity for Josie to sneak around Big Alice to find Layton! Zarah checks in with Winnie again, hands her the candyfloss, and sends her on yet another ten mile run.

Meanwhile, on Big Alice, Josie and the Headwoods are testing her new superpowers. She makes some interesting noises in the cold chamber, and I hope my neighbours can’t hear this scene!

Down in The Swamp, Layton finds a shard of broken glass in the waste, and adds it to his secret stash of shitty stuff. Wilford comes along to bask in the eerie green swamp light. Wilford wonders whether Layton believes that his ideals make any difference in the end. Layton thinks they do, and Wilford doesn’t understand it.

He’s right, and he should say it!

Layton continues, saying that it was fragile, powerful men like Wilford that froze Earth in the first place. After all of his engine lessons, Detective Layton apparently isn’t suspecting that Wilford caused the freeze himself? Okay! As Layton and Wilford continue verbally sparring, The Swamp’s guard crochets a W coaster. I don’t think it ever becomes especially relevant, but it’s an enjoyable detail!

Layton finally rattles Wilford a bit when he says most people on Snowpiercer will never love him like he wants them to. Wilford finally rattles Layton a bit by telling him about the party later, with the last of Layton’s friends. Including Zarah. At that, Layton tries to hit Wilford in the face with his shitty shovel. Unfortunately, Wilford sees the attack coming a mile off, and drops the hatch.

Next, it’s the dinner party scene! I know this whole shitshow is divisive within the fandom, but personally I really enjoy it! Zarah, Alex and Till are all so bitter and dry and it’s GREAT.

Ruth excitedly announces to the waiters that the guests have arrived! But her face immediately falls when LJ is the first to enter. Osweiller follows behind her, and turns down the free drink he’s offered. Alex enters the room behind him, and definitely does not deny an opportunity for underage drinking. From the other side of the dining car, Till descends the stairs with Zarah on her arm. Where are those fanfic writers?

Ruth finally realises how unrandom the guest selection was, and quietly discusses it with Till and Zarah. Zarah has literally been locked up all day in First. Till promises that if Mr. Wilford threatens Zarah’s baby, she’ll kill him with her butterknife. Zarah’s kind of into it, but Ruth tells Till to take it easy.

The guests sit on sofas and anxiously discuss the evening. Osweiller is “a fish out of water”, and asks his big sister for help. LJ is super excited! Alex thinks they’re all screwed! Wilford and Audrey make a loud, drunken entrance before we hear any more opinions. Audrey is dripping in jewels and drinking directly from a bottle, and it’d be very fun to watch if it wasn’t so sad! She asks “Willy” to “tickle the ivories” for them. Yuck! Audrey and Wilford sing a duet, and argue about the lyrics. Meanwhile, Till asks Zarah whether Audrey is wearing a “freaking tiara”, and Ruth threatens Kevin to back off - this is her room!

Over dinner, Wilford shares that he knows that Osweiller and Till used to work together. It’s tense. Then, he introduces Alex and 'Zarah, from Hospitality'. Zarah immediately adds that she’s also Layton’s partner. Wilford corrects her: ex-wife, wasn’t it? Audrey backs him up. So, Zarah was right earlier - Audrey definitely has been telling Wilford information.

Zarah starts to have a go at Audrey, and Audrey casually shrugs it off. Then, Zarah calls Audrey a whore. WTF!? It’s a weird thing for her character to say, but I’m enjoying mean Zarah enough that I don't mind. Wilford chastises Zarah, and reminds her that they’re One Train, now! In response, Alex proposes a toast.

Wilford changes the subject to the puppet show, which LJ loved! Osweiller and Ruth quickly try to shut LJ up when she mentions Melanie, but Alex would love to hear more lies about her mother! LJ fills Alex in on a few details, and in the process accidentally outs herself as Snowpiercer’s resident dick chopper. Wilford enquires whether LJ was guilty, and she stutters out a denial. He clarifies, “So, you did not cut off those men’s penises?” because, of course that’s a line in this fucking show!

Alex asks whether it’s true, and Osweiller jumps to LJ’s defence. Wilford teases Osweiller about being quiet, tells him to be careful dating LJ, and then asks why he should keep him. In response, Osweiller asks to use the piano. Wilford is intrigued, and LJ is worried. Zarah asks Till whether he plays, but Till has no idea. It turns out that Brakeman Blowie sings like an absolute fucking angel! Most of the characters get a bit emotional listening to him. As ever, some of the song’s lyrics are very on-the-nose:

The storm is coming soon

They say that things just cannot grow/beneath the winter snow/or so I have been told

I still believe in summer days

Life will find a way

Impeccable!

Meanwhile, on Big Alice, Josie has received Winnie’s message and sneaked out to find Layton in The Swamp. She sends away the crocheting guard, and Layton comes to the window to make a nice parallel to s1e3. He’s glad to see that Josie is looking better, but Josie quickly gets down to business: Zarah has sent a message to tell Layton that they haven’t given up. They need to know the next move. Layton has a little sit down and a cry, but they don’t really have time for that! Josie tells him to remember what they’re fighting for, and offers to try to get him out.

Between the s1e5 recap jokes about rescuing princess Layton from the tower drawer, the fact that this place is literally called The Swamp, the weird green lighting, and Layton’s pink outfit… you all knew that was coming, and I will not apologise for it.

In case Layton missed the parallel to their post-Fight Night meeting, Josie explicitly points it out. Josie asks Layton whether there’s still hope? Layton replies that they’ll both find their moment, they have to keep faith in the others, and they’re still together. When their time’s up, Layton asks Josie to get a message to their people on Snowpiercer: they’ll finish what they started.

Back at the dinner party, Wilford sparks up and tells Audrey she has competition from Osweiller. Audrey is very bad at hiding her jealousy, and sarcastically asks whether anyone else would like to sing? Zarah? Zarah is enjoying seeing Audrey rattled, and smugly replies that she’s done singing for her supper. Audrey assures Wilford that Zarah will sing - she’s a survivor.

Now that dinner is pretty much over, Wilford invites Ruth to join them. Alex warns Ruth not to trust him - he’s trying to turn the train against going back for Melanie. Wilford scoffs out an exasperated apology for the puppet show, but then openly admits that he won’t risk taking two trains over that section of track again. Alex asks Ruth whether she’s figured out what the census is for yet. Ruth has not. Alex then informs the room that, to save resources, Wilford culled half the population of Big Alice - “Men, women, children…”

Alex has previously confirmed that she’s Big Alice’s youngest crew member. So, did Wilford kill every child except Alex? That’s a lot, even for him. Zarah seriously needs to watch out! Wilford pretends to be upset about the genocide, and sends Alex to the brig. On her way out, Alex warns Ruth that Wilford is coming for her.

Wilford then invites Ruth to sit again, but she politely declines. He’s been playing games! The setting was intended for her, all along. Apparently, today has been all about Ruth! Till and Zarah exchange a concerned glance, and Ruth tentatively sits between them. Wilford then calls to Kevin:

He’s really gross this episode!

Wilford thanks Ruth and Kevin for their work this evening, then pits them against each other for the Head of Hospitality position. The job is Ruths - on the condition that she joins his side and addresses the train to tell the passengers that they aren’t going back for Melanie. Ruth rapidly goes through all five stages of grief, then begins to silently cry as she tells Wilford that she can’t do that. She won’t do it. She’s rejecting his offer. Wilford makes her take off her teals, and she cries more.

Jackboots escort the de-tealed Ruth through the train, and passengers gawk at her from doorways. In the third class mess hall, people even throw stuff at her! She tries to keep a brave face through the humiliation. This feels like it’s going to become very relevant next season, and I’m so worried for her!

Meanwhile, Wilford leads Till through a different part of the train. He offers her a job, too: his new advisor. When Till replies that she’s not sure she’s the right person for the job, but he tries to convince her - she thinks for herself, and she grew a moral compass last season! He’s severely lacking one, and would like to borrow hers occasionally. Also, he’s resolved that case she wanted to work on - the breach workers’ murderers are in the car, lined up against the wall, with masks on their faces. (Sidenote: how many execution chambers does this train have??) Till advises him not to execute the hired killers, and he toys with her for a moment before pulling the lever anyway.

Next, we get a few quick scenes catching up with multiple characters. Ruth joins Layton in The Swamp. Wilford saunters through an orgy in Big Alice’s engine, and settles in a throne to watch. Audrey is having a lovely time with a couple of people at said orgy, while Javi is looking nervously over his shoulder at it. And Alex is all alone in the brig.

In The Swamp, Ruth is covered in shit and sitting around being depressed while Layton does all the hard work. She’s worried that Wilford will tell everyone that contact has been lost with Melanie, and leave her at the station. To die. Just like they’re going to die in The Swamp. She spirals quickly! Layton tries to cheer Ruth up by telling her that all Wilford has is fear, whereas they have friends!

Back at the orgy, Mr. Wilford is looking exhausted. The timeline is confusing me again here: either Ruth rolled around in a pile of shit the moment she arrived at the swamp, or Audrey has been getting head on that couch for hours! Either way: good for her!

Javi receives a staticy radio message from Melanie, and quickly hits the mute button just before Wilford hears it. Wilford has a break from his orgy observation to drunkenly tell Javi he’s better than Bennett, that there’s “only one thing left to acquire” now that money doesn’t exist, and that they can only depend on the train. Javi doesn’t want to listen to Wilford’s drunken bollocks, so politely asks to use the restroom.

Inside the restroom, Javi uses eyeliner to write a note saying that Melanie just contacted him, shoves it into a lipstick tube, and flushes it off to The Swamp.

Down in The Swamp, Ruth notices something shiny land in the new pile of shit. She takes a break from her break to investigate. It’s the lipstick tube! She opens it up, finds the note, and calls Andre over to take a look.

It’s Roche’s turn to monologue this episode. Snowpiercer's people are now more afraid of each other than of food insecurity or disease. He’s just trying to keep people together. We also get a look inside Roche’s locker, which is full of pictures of his family - including his two dead children.

Meanwhile, Boki places W tokens on the wrapped-up bodies of the murdered breach workers. People all over the train stand to attention with their hands over their hearts for the funeral. Some of the people begin to hold up three fingers in the W salute, rather than holding their hearts. In the final scene before the opening credits, Boki starts to throw the bodies of his colleagues out of the train. What happened to not wasting resources? That's a lot of fabric and rope and useful carbon!

After the opening credits, Till, Layton, Roche and Till’s detective coat are sitting with Boki in the Nightcar. With Clay dead, Zarah working in Hospitality and Audrey on Big Alice, the place is almost creepily deserted. The cops are trying to convince Boki that Pastor Logan organised the murders of his friends. But Boki still thinks it was tailies - he’s spent thirty years risking his life for Wilford, and he can’t believe Wilford would kill Breachmen. Roche tries to appeal to Boki to help them keep the peace, but Boki pulls an Alex and storms off.

In the Big Alice engine car, Wilford enters the cockpit to have a little catchup with Alex while Audrey sings from the murder bathtub.

Alex is passive-aggressive about how untidy her new stepmom is, then presses Wilford for information about his secret plans. He’s still not telling her, though. Alex noticed an intentional breach this morning - not just Snowpiercer dropping the bodies, but also one on Big Alice. Wilford denies all knowledge, but Alex isn’t convinced.

In the Layton-Ferami First Class Living/Meeting Room, Layton is talking about how unsafe the train feels. Lights says that the Tailies can’t move freely at all, and I’m left wondering how she’s made it all the way up in First, then? Next, Till and her detective coat confirm that the Tunnelmen are lost, even though two murder suspects are already behind bars. Uhh, Till, sweetie, that’s not the flex you think it is! Pastor Logan and Eugenia are a good start, but there are still at least another seven other murderers at large! Of course people aren’t relaxing yet! (Sidenote: I’d LOVE a scene of Eugenia in jail!)

Dr. Pelton gives the next update. She confirms that most of Second are still with Layton, in typical Pelton style:

She’s so great!

Finally, Roche tries to get everyone to relax. The Brakemen are all on Layton’s side! But Layton isn’t so sure - some of them were doing the W salute at the funeral. Roche explains that it’s just a tradition, for the Breachmen.

Roche heads home after the meeting. Carly (aka Fireball) isn’t happy that she’s being moved uptrain - but it’s just for a short while, so that she doesn’t have to walk to school through the riots and armed mobs. The Roches say their goodbyes and “I love you”s, and Carly is escorted uptrain to the Paolis’ by a Brakeman. Then, Roche - shit, they’re all Roche! I'm gonna have to call him Sam! Sam tells Anne how bad it is: they’re one dirty look away from a civil war.

They get into some backstory: Sam lost his faith on the train, but Anne still believes. She and Snowpiercer’s other Christians are struggling to come to terms with the idea that their Pastor ordered the deaths of eight people. But luckily the tension is broken when their kitchen tap explodes everywhere!

Uptrain, the engine bros are alerted to the water pressure issues. Javi isn’t pleased that he can’t just stick the train on autopilot all day, and heads down to check out the problem.

Meanwhile, Ruth has got her welly boots on to wade through the puddles. She asks Anne what’s happening. Anne tells Ruth that the cabins are flooding. Uh, yeah? In the background, LJ is panicking that Ruth is on the way. Osweiller gives her a little pep talk, and it appears to work too well. LJ responds with “Let’s janitor this bitch!” … Sure, LJ.

Brakeman Blowie and Train Psycho give Ruth a quick update: the cabins are under control now, but the subtrain has started leaking. Osweiller takes Ruth down to show her, just in time for a pressure surge! They all get soaked.

On Big Alice, we finally catch up with Josie again! Wilford is visiting, and it’s disconcerting to watch him being nice. She wasn’t in the last episode because she was unconscious, having another goop bath. Josie wants to know why Wilford has healed her, but he ignores the question and jumps right into a nice breach of doctor-patient confidentiality: he’s heard about her phantom pain. He’s a bit creepy as he begins to do the fake hand trick. He mansplains the treatment to her (an actual medical professional!) After a while, it starts to work. Wilford then delivers some of the most concerning lines of the episode:

As Wilford leaves, he informs Josie that her door won’t be locked any more and welcomes her to Big Alice. I know she’s got important spying to do, but I want her to run home right now!

In Snowpiercer’s engine, Bennett explains the water pressure issue to Layton, Roche, Till, and her detective coat. It doesn’t make sense to me that all three of them are required in the engine for this, but hey! The port intake won’t close, so they’re taking in too much snow. Layton doesn’t understand Difficult Engine Things, so asks Bennett for a 1-10 rating of how bad the problem is. Bennett states that it would usually be a three, because it would be easy to send a couple of breach workers out to fix it. But given that most of the breach workers were just murdered, it’s at least a six. Layton rounds the six up to a ten. Relatable.

In Big Alice’s engine, Audrey interrupts Alex’s train feeling time. Alex and her stepmom have a quick standoff to establish that Wilford is still keeping Alex in the dark about something, and then Audrey tells Alex to look out of the window. Icy Bob is staggering towards them, on top of the train.

Alex rushes down to the lab just in time to see Bob fall through the door. The Headwoods try to warm him up, and Bob reaches out a hand. Wilford grabs a W token, like the one Boki placed on one of his murdered colleagues, and gives it to Bob. Alex asks why Bob was sent out, but no one answers her.

In the Big Alice canteen, Audrey blasts into the room in a shiny gold dress, waits for the whole room to look at her, and then walks over to sit with Josie. She can’t believe that Josie was homeschooled! Audrey tells Josie that she can’t wear a tank top two days in a row, that she can only wear her hair in a ponytail once per week, and that on Wednesdays they wear pink!

Josie knows who Audrey is, and asks why she’s on Big Alice. Audrey ignores her, and instead tells Josie that, with a little more effort, she could be beautiful again. Sweary Josie returns!

WTF, Audrey?

Josie asks Audrey for information on Snowpiercer. Audrey plays with the mush on Josie’s, and tells her that Layton is struggling to keep power. Josie quickly pieces together that Audrey has defected. But Audrey corrects her: she’s returned. Audrey proceeds to give a little speech about how both she and Josie were leaders on Snowpiercer, and says that she’s sleeping much better on Big Alice, now that the weight of the responsibility of leadership has been lifted. She offers Josie to join them. Fuck. I really miss season one Audrey!

In Snowpiercer’s queer gym, Boki is boxing away his grief. He knew that Layton, Till and her detective coat would be visiting to ask him to sort out the water issue. They’re respectfully humble as they ask, and Boki toys with them for a bit - what if he doesn’t go out? Eventually, though, he heads out to suit up and save the train.

Back in the Big Alice lab, Josie visits Icy Bob. He’s covered in frostbite and struggling to talk. She asks him what meds he’s on, but he just replies, “I’m ready. I’ve served my purpose.” Josie insists that he’s got a far greater purpose than just being Wilford’s weapon, and Mrs. Dr. Headwood enters the room just in time to agree. She laments that, after all their hard work, they’ll never discover his full potential. She gives him a pill, and tells Josie that they need her to rest - now, more than ever. Josie is confused and worried by the statement, and so am I!

Instead of asking questions or safely seeking out more information, Josie decides to sneak downstairs and stick her hand through the fucking coldlock. She only has one hand left! And she wanted to risk freezing it off based on one little hint!? Josie’s brain should definitely be defrosted by now, but there’s clearly a need for a bit of goop on her prefrontal cortex. Luckily, her hand is fine. But it was still a very fucking stupid idea! I miss season one Josie almost as much as I miss season one Audrey.

From Big Alice’s Big Window, Alex notices that Snowpiercer is venting water and slowing down. She’s trying to figure out what’s happening, but her questions annoy Wilford and he tells her to just ask Bennett what’s going on.

Meanwhile, the engine bros are updating Layton on the situation: they’ve had to slow down to sort out the intake issue, which means they’re going to be late to pick up Melanie - who they still haven’t regained contact with. Alex calls and demands to know what’s happening, but Layton shakes his head at Bennett. Bennett lies that they’re just taking advantage of the straight track to do some maintenance, and Wilford pounces on the opportunity to gloat.

Boki heads outside, and finds the issue: a rail spike has been jammed into the intake! And when he can’t reach it, he doesn’t just struggle for half an episode like Melanie did in s1e6 - he uses his axe! What a guy!

When he’s back inside, Boki shows Layton, Bennett and Javi the number ten Wilford spike. He also tells them that ice had been broken off the access ladder - someone else had used it recently. The intake block definitely wasn’t an accident.

Bennett and Javi quickly whisper an excuse to escape the scene before they have to witness any emotion. Then, Boki explains the significance of his W token (it symbolises Wilford pledging his life for his breach workers), hands the token to Layton, and defects from Wilford’s side in style:

Well, Layton does have a history of sticking small objects in assholes!

Downtrain, LJ is giving Ruth another update. Ruth praises her for trying hard. With Josie and Audrey on Big Alice, is Ruth the Train Mum now? LJ ruins it, because of course she does - she’s trying hard for Wilford’s train. Ruth stays positive, tells LJ to keep up the good work, and then adds that her parents would be proud. LJ doesn’t think that’s true - she has callouses now!

As Ruth walks away, Anne Roche calls her over. Anne has been asked whether Sam stands with or against Wilford, and she wants to know whether Ruth has been asked the same question. Ruth explains that Hospitality has to remain neutral, and Anne retorts that the Brakemen do, too. Does Ruth think that Sam is remaining neutral? Ruth dodges the question, which pretty much confirms that he is not.

Talking of Sam, he’s busy sending Breachmen all over the train. One of his employees informs him of a rumour that the surviving Jackboots have reformed, but before they can address the issue Anne pops in with sandwiches for everyone, and they all filter out. Anne says that there are now more people for Wilford than against him. Sam doesn’t quite agree, but concedes that it’s a close call. Then, it’s time for another vague, concerning line:

Is Anne implying that Wilford and/or his supporters caused their kids’ deaths? It doesn’t seem like she’s just referring to the freeze, right? Yikes!

Anne preferred life on the train before the revolution. She thinks Wilford and his rules will sort out all the issues they’re currently experiencing. But Sam doesn’t agree. He points out that Wilford literally designed the train to have arm-freezing ports! Anne wants Sam to put his family first, and Sam insists that he is! Layton is a good guy, who is trying to create a better world, and that’s what Sam wants for his family. Layton and Zarah are gonna be able to argue this well, one day.

In Terrence-Never-Terry’s former office, LJ tells Osweiller that she’s “covered in shit and cooking [him] dinner.” She said it! Dinner is hard boiled eggs, which I guess is supposed to be cute but I can’t bring myself to like either of these characters at all. LJ thinks she’s a working class action hero, and yeah, sure, LJ. Osweiller thinks LJ is the only person who likes him, and LJ asks what Till? Osweiller explains that big sisters don’t count as friends unless they like you. Then he says that LJ is his favourite, before quickly getting defensive in case LJ makes fun of him. But he’s her favourite, too. And then they kiss. I think I genuinely preferred the Ruth/Grey scenes to this!? STOPPPPPPP!

In the engine server room, Javi and Bennett introduce Layton to the engine’s brain - the Wilford Industries Digital Automation System. It’s kinda disappointing that Wilford didn’t want to come up with a more entertaining acronym! Do they at least pronounce WIDAS “wide ass”? The hydrogen input signal keeps fluctuating, and the engine bros are concerned.

In Big Alice’s engine, Audrey and Wilford are lounging about and reading while Kevin waits on them and Alex is still trying to resolve the mystery. She’s half way there! She’s figured out that Icy Bob did something to the intake. Wilford praises Alex for working it out, and Audrey derides her for being too slow.

The engine bros have figured out why the signal is poor: the sensor is in the intake, so it was probably damaged. I’m not sure why they didn’t think of that first? I guess Melanie was always the smartest engineer! The broken sensor has fried the God Module - the thing that basically runs the engine. This feels like a fucking huge design flaw! Why can one dodgy sensor do that so easily? Anyway, they need to replace the part, fast. But they don’t have a replacement.

Alex tries to determine why Wilford just wanted to do a little easy-to-fix damage to the intake while Kevin pours water for Jupiter like he’s working at the Ritz.

Then, Bennett calls in to answer Alex’s questions. There’s an emergency on Snowpiercer. Wilford is thrilled!

Next, Layton and Bennett update Ruth, Roche, Zarah, Lights, Till and her detective coat on the situation. Wilford sabotaged the engine, and he has a replacement part - but he’s insisting on bringing it himself. Wilford has to visit the engine, or they’ll all be dead within hours. But Wilford’s supporters can’t see him travelling through the train to save them - it would be disastrous. Lights asks what will happen “if it all goes to shit?” Fair question! Layton will send up a flare.

Lights and Till both hug themselves throughout this entire scene, and Zarah is as exasperated as I am that they don’t just hug each other.

At the border, Layton, Ruth and Roche meet Mr. Wilford. Wilford thinks he must be very popular, if they don’t want people to see him! They travel up to the engine quietly - even Ruth and Roche don’t engage with Wilford. Tunnelman Jakes spots Wilford on the subtrain as they travel. Uh oh.

Uptrain, Wilford enjoys seeing his engine car for the first time in seven years! Bennett chips him in, and Wilford greets him by accusing him of ruining the moment. They glare at each other for a bit. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of one very specific lesbian writing a very niche set of fanfic.

Ruth and Roche say goodbye to Wilford, and Wilford says he hopes that Roche continues to hold the balance of power wisely. Uh oh. Then, Wilford heads down to the engine server room. He greets Javi, and asks whether it’s true he was in the bathroom when Melanie and Bennett stole the train. It was! So, there’s Javi’s whole backstory! Wilford won’t give Bennett the spare part, because he prefers Javi. The music gets tense as they get to work.

Meanwhile in Third, Jakes and the uninformed Jackboots are making a plan to keep Wilford in the engine.

Wilford is flexing his saviour complex again, and Layton is tired of his shit: Wilford risked all their lives for a publicity stunt. Wilford admits that he’s hoping people will realise he’s there, ready to give him credit for saving the day. Wilford then gives Bennett an unnecessary instruction, and Layton tells Wilford that the engine bros have got it under control.

I don’t like Wilford, but he’s right! Layton has absolutely no idea what’s happening!

The replacement God Module works for a few seconds, but then starts sparking and smoking like all computer science in a TV show. Wilford hates surprises! This wasn’t what he planned, and he quickly flies into action to save his beloved engine. It turns out that Melanie did a little fix years ago, and it’s fucked the whole thing up - the God Module can’t override the system. They discuss the issues and quickly come up with a plan - they’ll have to do a manual restart.

Bennett announces an emergency, and the Tunnelmen jump straight into action. Ruth and Roche catch up with Zarah and Till, and they’re all very worried about what’s happening. Alex receives a call from Wilford, and she’s even more worried than the others! She asks if it’s part of Wilford’s plan, and he angrily yells “No!” before giving her instructions for what to do when Snowpiercer shuts down.

Bennett gives the command, and the Tunnelmen shut everything down. There are eerie, quiet shots of people all over the train. Wilford takes over from Javi to sort everything out in the server room, and takes another opportunity to remind Layton that he doesn’t know anything about engineering. Then, Wilford announces to the train. So much for keeping his visit quiet. They finish up, and Wilford makes another announcement to restart the systems. Wilford teases Layton as he works. When the lights come back on, the people of Snowpiercer cheer, and chant Wilford’s name. Fuck.

Sad music plays over sad, slow shots of the anti-Wilford task force. Bennett squeezes Layton’s shoulder. And then Layton sets off that red flare he mentioned earlier, to formally announce that it’s all gone to shit.

The next day, Layton is cuffed to the torturey hospitality room table. Roche chips in to inform Layton that he’s going to be taken to Big Alice. Layton is worried about the Tail, and Roche promises to do what he can to help them. Layton tells Roche he just wants to see his kid be born, and cries. Roche uncuffs Layton and lets Zarah into the room. They hug and cry and apologise. Zarah reminds him that they don’t give up!

That Brakeman from earlier was right about the Jackboots: at least six of them are outside, waiting to take Layton away. Six!! Roche and Layton wish each other luck, and Roche is instructed to report to Big Alice. Audrey escorts him to a small drawer room. The Headwoods greet him warmly, and Roche sees his wife and daughter, already suspended in open drawers. Fuck.

In the final scene, Wilford saunters into Snowpiercer’s engine to take over from Bennett. Bennett is clearly regretting that time three(ish) weeks ago that he lied to his colleagues and slowed the train down on the off chance of picking up a few new hex nuts! He dejectedly tells Mr. Wilford, “You have the train,” and Wilford grins infuriatingly as he sits in the driver’s seat.

This episode opens in the MOOЯ AƎT, with some quiet clips of various religious and Wilfordite objects and pictures. Till and her detective coat begin a monologue about the difficulties of coping with murder as she walks along a line of uniformed breach worker corpses. It’s completely fair to struggle with the brutality of murder, no judgment there! However, perhaps homicide detective wasn’t the smartest career choice in that case?

The colouring drains away for a flashback to Till and her detective coat AND her detective flashlight finding murdered breach worker Cherry. The trio also find a clue: a W button. In the present, Till hugs herself while some Brakemen bring in another body. In her monologue, she says “I want just one night where I close my eyes and I’m not afraid of what’s on the other side. One night where I don’t feel so alone.”

ANDRÉ LAYTON, HUG YOUR LITTLE SISTER RIGHT NOW!

After the opening credits (which I think sound normal again?), we’re treated to another gorgeous outside shot.

Pastor Logan is praying for the murdered breach workers, and Boki is crying on the floor. Till, her detective coat and Layton watch on and discuss the fact that this attack clearly indicates that Wilford has people working for him on Snowpiercer. Till (correctly) worries that the tailies are going to get the blame.

Roche enters to update us on the situation: the border is locked down, and Brakemen are all over the train in case something kicks off. Layton tries to talk to Boki, but Boki is too upset and tells Layton to get away from his fallen colleagues. Pastor Logan gives Boki a St. Christopher charm from his never-ending supply, then tells Till to leave - the pastor will take care of Boki. MHM.

Till and her detective coat visit her little brother and his new girlfriend, who are bossing another janitor around. LJ suggests Till should just pin the crime on some tailies, like she used to! Osweiller is having a rare moment of not being a dick, and comes to his sister’s defence. Till shows them the vintage, old-style W button that she found at the scene of the crime. LJ’s a little shit, but Osweiller knows someone who might be able to help. They’re going to visit Kayta!

Uptrain, Ruth is getting Layton, Roche and Zarah up to speed on Miss Audrey: she chose to stay, and Ruth isn’t sure why. She hasn’t completed her mission yet, so hopefully she’s just staying to get the job finished. But she may have defected - and that’s how it’ll look to the passengers.

Talking of Audrey, she’s having a nice soak in the murder bathtub. Wilford is chuckling away to himself while ignoring Bennett’s attempts to get him to pick up the radio.

I don’t like Bennett, and I don’t like Wilford, but I like it when they’re mean to each other!

The train will reach the Himalaya roundabout tonight, and they’ll head back for Melanie. Layton wants to speak with Audrey, and Wilford calls out to her. Instead of responding, she submerges herself. Relatable. Wilford then innocently asks about the alarms last night. Layton replies that there was some unrest, and not-very-subtly accuses Wilford of causing it. Audrey shows up, “fetching but grumpy” in a very fancy gown. One of Wilford’s, perhaps? She didn’t bring much luggage with her.

Layton checks in with Audrey, and offers to open the border for her. She replies, “not yet”. Wilford angrily disconnects the comms and tells Audrey, “Not good enough.” We should all be very concerned for her.

Bennett, Ruth and Layton dissect the call. Ruth, because she’s Ruth, suggests that Audrey might be “freshly shagged and bathing in rosewater.” Incredible! They agree to assume that Audrey has been compromised.

In the Big Alice canteen, Emilia asks Alex for updates on Snowpiercer: no one on Big Alice knows what the alarms are about, and Emilia is worried about a potential attack. Alex has been shut out of the engine, but notices Sykes walking by. She tries to find out more information, but Sykes won’t give Alex any answers.

In the tail, Pike is using a bong made out of a baby bottle while Z-Wreck, Murray, Strong Boy and Astrid discuss how dangerous the train feels today: Third think tailies killed the breach workers. Astrid tells us that Lights and Winnie moved to the Market this morning, which is very surprising given that Lights was the first person who said that it wasn’t safe for tailies uptrain! I’m glad she’s recovering fast.

Z-Wreck and Murray want to go and collect the tailies from uptrain, and bring them back to the tail where it’s safe. But they don’t make it far before running into Boki.

Wasn’t Pastor Logan supposed to be Boki-sitting?

Ruth and Roche take Boki to the lockup, and have a cute little bonding moment together. Ruth asks Roche how worried he is, and confides in him that Wilford invited her to Big Alice. She admits she wasn’t sure what to do - she has doubts. Wilford’s rules (though enforced by Melanie) provided order for seven years! Roche bluntly replies by asking Ruth if she wants to go back to taking arms. She clearly doesn’t. Then, she plays with his buttons in a move that I still cannot make sense of (?????), and then they head off.

Elsewhere, Osweiller, Till and her detective coat wander through the corridors and have a little catch-up. Osweiller has cuffed his shirt sleeves, just like his big sister. Awwww. He bumps into the pictures on the walls, and Till effortlessly catches them and straightens them again - y'know, big sibling stuff. Then, they enter Katya’s Antique Boutique.

This scene is fun! Katya is everything you could ever want from an elderly Russian antique dealer. She alternates between smoking and using an oxygen mask while her grandchild translates. Stunning. Till is all business, whereas Osweiller tries on an incredible hat pretty much as soon as he walks in.

Icons, both of them.

We learn that Katya was Wilford’s neighbour in Sheffield. Wilford was like her nephew - she used to take him to the park and the chapel, where he would light a red candle in the window. Ah. She has photos of him everywhere, in addition to a shit ton of Wilford-branded stuff and a load of little red lanterns. Her grandchild tells Till that they give the lanterns to customers, to light as a vigil for Wilford until his return. It doesn’t take Till long to figure out where the button came from: a jacket that was traded last week to a fancy, very tall woman. Lilah Folger’s ghost???

Next, Layton addresses the train. He tries to convince people that tailies didn’t murder the breach workers, and that their real enemy is Wilford. But he goes far too hard, and with far too little evidence. As the speech plays out, Lights, Winnie and some other tailies pack up to move back to the tail. Roche rolls his eyes. Jakes gets a Wilford chant started. When Layton steps out of the booth, Ruth warns him that the passengers probably won’t take his speech as it was intended - he practically just asked them to pick sides (yeah, it’s all about choosing rather than hope this episode). Zarah defends Layton, and Ruth strops off.

In Big Alice’s engine, Audrey and Wilford still aren’t getting along. He’s sad that she’s not with him yet, and she tells him that she needs to know what he’s up to before she joins him. He reveals that he went through her things when she was in the bath, and found her screwdriver. He asks what it’s for, and she replies he already knows. He does. He asks whether she did it. She didn’t. He follows up to ask whether she stayed to complete the mission. She denies it - she stayed because she feels a pull towards him, even after everything he’s done to her…

Wilford snaps and grabs Audrey’s wrist, which scares her. He doesn’t believe her. He tells her to get dressed, then he drags her by the hand through the train. She’s going to have to prove herself, like everyone else. Sykes opens a room marked “MEDICAL STORAGE”. Inside, Kevin is strapped to a chair, distressed, and telling Wilford to leave him alone. Sykes shoves Audrey into the room. Wilford makes a quick introduction, “This is Kevin. I need you to fix him,” and then shuts Audrey into the room. I hate this so much.

Back on Snowpiercer, Jakes and JAnnietor are riling up the crowd against tailies. LJ is loving the chaos! Layton checks in on Pike. He’s high as fuck, and has his hand in a hollowed-out loaf of bread?

Pike insists that he’s good. He likes the fact that Layton now owes him. Layton tries to encourage Pike to leave Third, but Pike is convinced that no one recognises him now that he’s shaved off his hair and beard. He makes a cryptic threat to Layton, then leaves.

Back in Big Alice’s engine, Alex wants to know where Wilford was, and what Audrey’s doing. He won’t answer. Alex accuses him of shutting her out, because he just wants to “mess around with [his] whore.” Alex!!! Don’t talk about your new stepmom like that! Wilford likes Alex’s nerve, but warns her against making this personal. Alex is feeling left out, and Wilford is feeling unappreciated. But instead of discussing it - perhaps with the help of the therapist that they just semi-kidnapped? - they argue!

Wilford knows that Alex showed Melanie to her bunk. He suspects they “had some lovely hugs.” What a weird thing to say! Alex doesn’t want to choose between Wilford and Melanie, but Wilford insists that she has to. He cracks out that saviour complex again! He thinks Alex should thank him every day for saving her from the freeze. If she wants to be included in his plans, she’ll have to remind him why he brought her along. (Why did he bring her? What does that mean? I’m very worried for Alex!)

In the medical supply/cult conversion room, Kevin is weeping and drooling and Audrey is trying to softly talk to him. I hate this scene, so here are the quick details: they briefly discuss the murder bath, and it breaks Audrey. She starts to talk about how Wilford saved Kevin (her), how Kevin (she) wants to be Wilford’s again, and how Kevin (she) was nothing before Wilford. Then, she starts to do a version of her Nightcar thing, helping Kevin to reconnect with what he’s lost - but this time, it’s to brainwash him back into the Wilford cult. FUCK.

Up in First Class Dining, Eugenia is enjoying a fancy dish of jelly cubes (?) until she’s interrupted by Till and her detective coat. Till’s dad and big brother are there to back her up, too. She confronts Eugenia about the lost button, then…

Honestly, under better circumstances, I could ship it! I’m also kinda impressed that Eugenia was able to take out Breachman Cherry? I didn’t think most Firsties seemed like good fighters, but clearly I was wrong!

Till asks who is calling the shots, and Eugenia hides her St. Christopher necklace as she tells Till that she can’t see what’s right in front of her. Then, she stands up and leans in. Layton and Roche rush over to prevent a fight/kiss/whatever. But there isn’t one - Eugenia just gets in Till’s face and tells her that she’s two steps behind.

When Eugenia is handcuffed, she has to let go of her necklace. She says that the train needs a new shepherd, and that the revolution is starting. Has Till finally figured it out yet?

Downtrain, there’s pro-Wilford and anti-Tail graffiti all over the corridors. Armed Thirdies are roaming around, on the hunt for Tailies. Dr. Pelton hides a group of escaping Tailies, just in time. Ruth and Zarah walk through the same corridor soon after, and encounter an angry group of Thirdies. Dr. Pelton lets Ruth and Zarah into the clinic, too.

Zarah uses the clinic phone to contact Tristan, while Ruth tries to make friends with the other people seeking refuge - such as Winnie. Winnie doesn’t yet know that Ruth is getting a redemption arc today, so she screams and runs to Lights when Ruth tries to talk to her. Ruth and Zarah can’t figure out why Winnie is so scared, until Lights reminds Ruth that she tried to take Winnie’s arm. She adds, “it wasn’t that long ago,” and it’s comforting to know that Lights has also given up on trying to accurately track the timeline!

Lights also tells Ruth and Zarah that Suzanne died following the de-arming, and Ruth doesn’t know what to say. Zarah tries to lighten things up by asking about Winnie’s brother, but he died in the revolution.

Lights stares Ruth down, and Ruth is very uncomfortable (as she should be).

Tristan knocks on the window for Ruth, and informs her that Tailies aren’t safe outside. When Ruth turns back to the room, she realises that Winnie is missing. How didn’t anyone notice the door opening!? Anyway, Lights immediately makes for the door, but Ruth stops her - Lights won’t be safe out there, so Ruth will go. She leaves Zarah in charge (as if Dr. Pelton isn’t obviously the person in charge in that room?), and heads out into the chaos.

Meanwhile, Winnie has found Pike! He’s high again, and calls her a dude which is a cute vibe for them. But JAnnietor and Jakes come around the corner, and they know that Pike is a Tailie! Winnie runs away while the Thirdies attack Pike and begin to carry him through the corridor. To hide, Winnie chips herself into the nearest door - the observatory!

Next, we catch up with the detectives. They’re walking through a different corridor, showing off their detective coats. Till is explaining to Layton that her number one suspect is now Pastor Logan. She calls Eugenia “First Class Bitch”, and I think it’s intended as an insult but I suspect it would probably get taken as a compliment or flirting? Layton wonders if the Pastor let Boki attack tailies on purpose, but he’s interrupted by Brakemen on their way to rioting Wilford mobs.

Back in the other unspecified Snowpiercer corridor, Ruth finds Winnie. She’s crying and remembering her mom. Ruth tries to take Winnie back to her friends, but Winnie won’t move. Ruth softens further - she apologises for being cruel and taking Suzanne away from Winnie, and gives us a little more backstory: Ruth also lost her mum when she was little. She continues to explain that she thought she was doing the right thing, by following the rules. But now she realises it was wrong, and wishes she could take it back.

Winnie is five fucking years old, so she doesn’t need to hear Ruth’s moral epiphany! She tells Ruth she’s hiding from the bad men, and Ruth changes tactics again: she tells Winnie that she’s clever, but that she doesn’t need to hide any more because Ruth can keep her safe. Winnie conceded, climbs out of her hiding place, and offers Ruth some well-timed redemption.

The next scene is a load of upsetting stuff with Audrey, Kevin and their murder bath flashbacks. So let’s skip that! When they’re done, Audrey and Kevin both thank Mr. Wilford for everything, and Kevin starts following Audrey’s commands like a dog - which is a different kind of upsetting! They enter the engine room, and Wilford immediately notices that Audrey looks “reinvigorated”. Audrey then makes Kevin lick Wilford’s slipper. I hate this whole thing of course, but credit where credit’s due: Kevin fucking commits to that slipperlingus!

Uptrain, there are more disturbing scenes! Some Thirdies are trying to de-arm Pike! Ruth drops Winnie off with Lights, then follows Layton on his way to help Pike.

Meanwhile, Till and her detective coat have returned to Pastor Logan’s Office for Converting Depressed Lesbians. He calls her Bess again, and it still feels weird. She asks who he was talking to before she barged in, but he has a great excuse lined up: God! Pastor Logan starts brewing tea, and Till confronts him: he’s the one working for Wilford, isn’t he? He tries to convert her again, and tells her that murdering eight breach workers is a small price to pay for peace.

Talking of peace - ha! Nope! Layton and Ruth arrive to a car full of shouting and struggling, where Pike’s de-arming is about to take place. Layton volunteers himself in Pike’s place, which is a thoroughly ridiculous move! Layton is the most hated of all the Tailies right now! Pike and Ruth try to talk him down (she even calls him Andre, and it's almost as weird as when the Pastor calls Till Bess), but the Thirdies are happy to take his offer!

Meanwhile, Ruth has been having flashbacks to Suzanne’s de-arming. Before Layton’s arm goes through the wall, Ruth starts yelling at everyone in such an angry teacher tone that they actually stop and listen to her.

Ruth reminds the people that de-arming is barbaric. If they don’t like the way the train is being run, then they should call for change. Ummmmm I think they’re still under martial law so… would that really work? No one challenges Ruth’s logic, though, so she continues her speech. De-arming people isn’t right. These people will never be the same again, after they’ve de-armed Layton. She knows, because she’s done it.

Ruth’s speech may or may not have changed their minds, but luckily it bought Layton enough time for the Brakemen to arrive. The Thirdies scatter, and Layton collapses against the wall, relieved that he didn’t actually just lose an arm to save Pike.

Back in the Pastor’s Office for Converting Depressed Lesbians, Pastor Logan is still trying to convert Till and her detective coat! I’m not sure why she hasn’t arrested him already, given that he just admitted to ordering multiple murders? Anyway, he blabbers on about stability and order and how suffering is temporary. She quotes one of his boxing lines back to him, and he seems impressed for a second - before she smacks him in the throat. Till really needs to stop attacking the people she’s supposed to be protecting!

Pastor Logan tries to hit Till back, but he misses. She punches him in the face, and he punches her right back. This is relevant because, when Till proceeds to throw Logan over her shoulder like Josie throws Layton onto beds, I can almost convince myself that it’s self-defence rather than police brutality and allow myself to enjoy it. The follow-up punches to his face definitely aren’t self-defence, though. Bastard cops!

Till isn’t going to kill the Pastor, because people need to learn the truth. Unfortunately, Pastor Logan has an accomplice who immediately tries to strangle Till. While Till and the accomplice wrestle in the MOOЯ AƎT, Pastor Logan runs back to his office and cracks out his Wilford Industries Emergency Suicide Kit. He’s already half-frozen his head by the time Till makes it into the office and yanks the bag off.

Next, we get a beautiful shot of the roundabout to demonstrate that the people of Snowpiercer are choosing sides. Red lanterns have been lit in some of the windows, indicating votes for Wilford. Wilford fetches Alex, and they look out of the window together with Audrey. Anne Roche asks whether they should light their lantern, but her husband isn’t sure yet. Zarah alerts Layton to the sight from the window, and they look out together. The train has chosen Wilford. He gives Sykes the order to tell the Headwoods to prep Icy Bob. And Alex still doesn’t like her new stepmom.

Melanie does the opening monologue today, discussing how she’s worried that Wilford will crush the people’s hope for a warmer planet. She zooms through snow on the volt sled, until she hits something and the engine gives out. She’s not far from the station, so she walks the rest of the way there with just one bag of supplies. When she begins to clear the way to the research station door, she uncovers a dead body with a bullet wound in its head. This is probably my least favourite episode of the whole show.

The opening credits sound slightly different, again! Have they all been different? I’m starting to wonder if I’ve missed some? Anyway, we open on Melanie inside the research station, getting the place all set up. She wanders around in the dark, and my screen doesn’t get bright enough to show most of what’s going on. Also, @train-pirate gets a cameo!

Melanie finds whatever machine that she’s been looking for, then finds another frozen corpse. It sends her into…

Flashback#1: baby Alex

It’s just a couple of seconds of them in their old house, nothing exciting.

Melanie logs her initial findings - namely the dead bodies - then makes plans her next day: she’ll get the solar panels working, then go back to fetch the luggage that she left on the volt sled.

… or not!

She was able to sort out the solar panels (and discovered a third corpse next to one of them - missing an arm), so she’s got plenty of power. But unfortunately there was a bit of an avalanche, so her volt sled and remaining supplies - including most of her food - are gone. Uh oh.

Next, there’s a mid-episode monologue! There are some pretty shots of Chicago while Melanie reminisces about pre-freeze life, and what it was like to have aspirations and dreams about the future. It brings us to...

Flashback #2: pre-freeze Snowpiercer

We’ve previously heard Melanie claim that she built the train (Wilford just sold tickets), and Wilford claim that Snowpiercer is his creation. But it seems like the reality is somewhere in between:

After that, we discover that the engine eternal isn’t actually eternal. But they don’t dwell on it, because Melanie is excited to drive the train!

Back in the present, Melanie counts out the few rations that made it to the station. There’s nowhere near enough. She raids the cupboards, but comes up empty, which leads to...

Flashbacks #3 & 4: more baby Alex

Again, they’re just short flashbacks of the two of them in their old house. Alex says she’s hungry.

When Melanie finishes checking the cupboards, she tries the fridge. She discovers the missing arm from the body outside, which triggers...

Hallucination #1: Wilford (1)

He’s smoking a joint (because, of course he is!) and teasing her about her lack of food. He thinks she should eat the arm, but she doesn’t want to.

Melanie draws a calendar on the dry-erase board. Those pens usually can’t survive three days in an average classroom, so I don’t know how the fuck she managed to find one that’s still working after the apocalypse!

After some more shuffling around the research station, Melanie boots up one of the computers. It displays a picture of the dead scientist’s family, which sets off...

Hallucination #2: Wilford (2)

Hallucination!Wilford taunts Melanie about the dead scientists, and their dead child. She tries to ignore him, so instead of engaging with him she explains her data collection process to the viewers. Hallucination!Wilford then belittles Ben and “That Spaniard.”

Does Javi use they/he pronouns? Cool!

Hallucination!Wilford then tells Melanie that jousting together is nice, because it keeps her mind off how hungry she is. She eats part of a biscuit, then connects to the first balloon! Yay!

A while later, Melanie is staring at an empty plate. The biscuit is gone. She didn’t eat it. She knows she didn’t But she must have? Hallucination!Wilford suggests that Melanie is cracking up, and she plunges into…

Flashback #5: pre-freeze Nightcar

Melanie is annoyed that Wilford is working on his brothel. He corrects her - it’s a Nightcar. Melanie insists that the train is now an ark, not for Wilford’s personal indulgences. Wilford thinks it can be both, and explains that the Nightcar is a release valve, to keep everyone under control. Melanie points out that the resources being used for the Nightcar could sustain twenty more people, and then asks Wilford why half of her geneticists were removed from the passenger list. Is it for more security? Wilford doesn’t need security, because there won’t be any guns on the train. But the Jackboots are needed to keep order - three thousand people aren’t going to get along the entire time.

Melanie fires back that if they’re going to save humankind, they need people who know how to save humankind! Wilford and Melanie haggle for places for geneticists and Jackboots for a while, until Wilford finally says the most Wilford thing possible.

He then threatens that if Melanie won’t accept that Snowpiercer runs on his order, then her family will lose their tickets.

Next, there’s another mid-episode monologue. Melanie tells us that she’s been at the station for ten days, and she’s pretty much out of food. She hopes she can survive for long enough to get the climate model finished. She clears the snow from the solar panels, then heads back inside to lick her ration packets, which makes her see…

Hallucination #3: Layton (1)

HalluciLayton is enjoying the fact that Melanie is getting a taste (intentional pun?) of what she put the tail through. He tries to encourage her to eat the frozen bodies, but she’s intent on surviving without them.

I’m really questioning Melanie’s ethics and priorities now. She’ll torture and murder, but can’t handle a bit of survival cannibalism? It doesn’t make sense!

The hallucination is interrupted by a noise, and then Melanie sees a rat! She pops outside to hack off a bit of arm meat to set a trap, and then…

Hallucination #4: Layton (2)

While Melanie engineers a rat trap, HalluciLayton reminds her that nothing should still be alive after seven years. She knows it’s crazy, but also she totally saw a rat, and her biscuit disappeared that time! The trap seems to work, and Melanie tries to high-five HalluciLayton - but he doesn’t exist.

After a bit more snow clearing and hanging around, Melanie conjures up another hallucination to entertain herself…

Hallucination #5: Wilford (3)

Hallucination!Wilford is speculating over the details of how the previous scientists died.

After that, it’s straight on to…

Flashback #6: departure day (1)

Melanie and Bennett are listening to calls for reinforcements. Bennett wonders how people found out departure time, and Melanie doesn’t think they necessarily did - where else would they go, near the end? Melanie then receives a call from whoever is transporting her family. She wants to know as soon as they arrive.

Wilford enters the engine, angry about the chaos downtrain. He told Melanie and Bennett that he needed more security! Melanie gets Grey a quick cameo, and Wilford tells Grey to unleash hell, and use all necessary force to prevent people sneaking onto the train. Melanie and Bennett share a concerned glance, but don’t speak up. Wilford wants to get moving, but Melanie’s family haven’t arrived yet. Bennett adds that they need thirty minutes to finish cycling up the engine, and Melanie’s expression suggests that he’s lying. Then, they’re interrupted by commotion outside - Jackboots are facing off with a small group of ticketed scientists.

Back in the present, Melanie has caught a rat! It’s real! And it brings on…

Hallucination #6: Layton (3)

HalluciLayton plays with the rat and suggests a recipe - but Melanie has a better idea!

Melanie paints the rat. No, really!

It’s not because she’s completely lost it, living all alone on the brink of starvation. Melanie painst the rat so that she can follow its painty little pawprints to figure out where it lives, and eat its whole family! She follows the rat until it disappears, and then breaks through the highly insulated wall without putting on her coldsuit (WTF?) and finds…

Hallucination #7: Alex (1)

Hallucination!Alex tells Melanie that she’s found a geothermal vent. Melanie thinks it’s a miracle. She roasts up a rat, and Hallucination!Alex says encouraging things about the warm vent and rats increasing Melanie’s chances. Then she asks how Melanie is going to get back, without the voltsled. Melanie has a plan: she’s going to walk! If she takes a battery with her, she has enough power to make it there and back if she has to (hmmmm… I wonder why she would need to tell us that?)

Hallucination!Alex then tells Melanie that she understands why Melanie left her. Yep - Melanie is hallucinating her daughter’s forgiveness. I can’t even try to unpack that, and apparently neither can Melanie because it sends her into…

Flashback #7: departure day (2)

The flashback continues where the previous one left off - Jackboots and scientists facing off outside the engine. The scientists have chips! In their hands, I assume? Or is Jackboot Tyson just really excited about snacks?

Melanie reveals that the scientists are “her geneticists”. Wilford needs six Jackboots more than he needs six geneticists. Melanie says they don’t have time to discuss it, so they should just let everyone on! Wilford agrees that there’s no time, then orders “terminate them.” Melanie watches the scientists get shot down, while Wilford tells her to never forget that the train runs on his order.

Wilford then asks for an update on their estimated departure time, to which Bennett stoically replies “28 minutes.” Wilford wants more blood, so he heads downtrain in his Jeep to open fire on the main gate. Melanie looks horrified.

In the present, Melanie is waiting for the twelfth balloon to ping. But, outside, a storm breaks the signal tower. It crashes down into a skylight, which Melanie quickly seals up (without gloves - WTF!) She heads outside to assess the damage, then comes back inside to hallucinate again...

Hallucination #8: Wilford (4)

Hallucination!Wilford tells Melanie that all the data has been lost. Why the fuck hasn’t she got a backup? She should have multiple backups! This shit is important! Anyway, because Melanie loves to hallucinate really rough shit, Hallucination!Wilford teases her about suicide. I don’t wanna write about that, so instead I’ll just say that the highlight of this scene is this:

Hallucination!Wilford doesn’t think Melanie is much better than him, and wants some gratitude for saving Alex. Melanie throws her mug at him, and it hits the wall because he doesn’t exist (when is she gonna learn??)

Next, Melanie stops hallucinating for a while to pop outside and fix the tower. When it goes wrong and she falls over, she makes a snow angel for a while and has yet another flashback!

Flashback #8: departure day (3)

Melanie is desperately trying to find out whether her family are on board. Her daughter is eight (lol)! Melanie loses communication with whoever she was talking to, then laments to Bennett that she doesn’t think her family have arrived yet. Wilford radios in to say he’s lost communication with Grey, and he’s going to drive back up to the engine. Bennett tells him they’ll be ready to leave in six minutes.

But they can actually leave within one minute. Melanie tries to head outside, to look for Alex. But Bennett stops her - she needs to make the call to leave. He doesn’t want to leave her outside. And, most importantly:

Melanie cries while she announces the departure, sets the train rolling, and asks nothing in particular for forgiveness.

In the present, Melanie gets up off the floor and continues to fix the tower. When she finishes, her data gets restored. She even connects to the twelfth balloon! Now, PLEASE BACK THE DATA UP!!!!!!

Melanie continues to eat rats, cross off days, and clear the solar panels. When it reaches the final day, Melanie is unable to communicate with Snowpiercer. Another two days go by without contact. So we know something is going to go wrong in the next few episodes! When Melanie still can’t contact the train, she hallucinates Alex again…

Hallucination #9: Alex (2)

Hallucination!Alex basically just exists for Melanie to try to forgive herself! They hug for a while (ish - Alex is still a hallucination), and Melanie cries.

Then, the room starts to rattle. Melanie touches the floor, and she can immediately sense that Snowpiercer is coming! She heads outside, dragging her sled. When she sees the train, she tries radioing to them again. They need to slow down! She reaches the tracks, but the train is zooming past way too fast. Alex makes it to the back window of Big Alice just in time for them to briefly see each other, and then the train is gone.