do it before god and all the fish

Me asking someone who's known me since I was 13 for help: she is going to kill me. With hammers

Update: in shocking news the mom of my best friend since I was 13, who never made me feel like shit for being the school charity case and let me come over when my home life was particularly shitty, is willing to help me

the accent really makes this

The Godmother

as a person who is beyond saving i loveee giving life advice. waterlogged corpse at the bottom of the ocean reminding people to swim parallel to the shore to escape a rip current

the thing about art is that sometimes you'll be moved to tears by stuff that is not very good

ID. the youtuber danny gonzalez saying, "Why's it making me cry? Why's this bad movie making me cry?" End ID.

#and there is no way to abolish religion that doesnt involve genocide. people dont want to hear this but its true #<-#prev #there’s no way to abolish religion without cultural genocide too #there’s no way to do it without it getting insanely racist real fast #there’s a conception that My Experience of X Is Universal #and all Christianity in the whole world takes the form of white American evangelism #I’m not saying other forms of Christianity are all better or faultless #but I am saying they’re different and they’re practiced by different people #and you can’t be making blanket statements about Christianity when you’re talking about the specific Christian experience you had #‘but obviously I mean -‘ I don’t care SAY that then #everyone here is able to recognise that the words you use are an important part of shaping your thought process #until it’s about something you cant be arsed about via @teacupsandcyanide

someone fired a bullet through our bathroom wall the other day when we were gone, which is scary (but probably accidental), but the weirdest part is that we can’t actually find the place where it entered from outside... the wall inside is fucked up and you can see the hole where it came through, but there is no corresponding entrance hole on the exterior of the house. somehow the outer paneling was undamaged.

This is the most American post I have ever seen

“someone fired a bullet through my asbestos from a car chase” yeah fair

i dont mean to victim blame but why do these vampires keep talking to daniel molloy when they know he's daniel molloy

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife