do it before god and all the fish

someone fired a bullet through our bathroom wall the other day when we were gone, which is scary (but probably accidental), but the weirdest part is that we can’t actually find the place where it entered from outside... the wall inside is fucked up and you can see the hole where it came through, but there is no corresponding entrance hole on the exterior of the house. somehow the outer paneling was undamaged.

This is the most American post I have ever seen

“someone fired a bullet through my asbestos from a car chase” yeah fair

i dont mean to victim blame but why do these vampires keep talking to daniel molloy when they know he's daniel molloy

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

We kill the Zubatman.

Pokemon Heritage Post

you’re so fucking spoiled you get to pick out which radiator you get chained to

sometimes i get really overwhelmed by love for blorbo and start saying things to myself like I need to gnaw his head off