Hello! My name is Hex, I'm neurodivergent, and I'm a fic writer!
My AO3 is @AstrologicalGem!
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@onetrainscifi
Hello! My name is Hex, I'm neurodivergent, and I'm a fic writer!
My AO3 is @AstrologicalGem!

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Inspired by @julesnichols live blog, im gonna use my sick day to live blog 209 lets fucking gooooooo
Im one second in who tf thought peach nails and eye shadow was a good look on my girl Ruth
"Hope is a powerful thing" !!!!!!!!
"My own hope I keep hidden" go off girl
Something very familiar about Ruth in a room with Till and Zarah... @train-pirate
The "special evening" eye roll has me in a chokehold
"Yes ma'am" and Ruth's reaction to that.... #TRuth
Nothing to see here
The love-hate-looking up and down-huffing at each other thing that Ben and Javi have going on is hot
NO KEVIN, YOU WON'T
"I know each and every passenger on this train, and I consider myself responsible for each of them"
"How unpleasant"
Sometimes the symbolism in this show is meh but I am obsessed with the Goya in this episode. Saturn devouring his son.
Big Alice latching onto Snowpiercer
Wilford trying to destroy Melanie
Many such cases
"The fifth engineer"
OUCH
There is no crime, only order 🤝 we don't have will, we have order
I can suspend my disbelief at a great many things but a child born on the train would find Willy's World absolutely terrifying
Grumpy cat face spotted!
The puppet show has always made me uncomfortable but since joining you lot I know get to think about puppet fucking and dick splinters too 😭😭
Ruth's eyes watering when puppet melly dies...which could mean nothing
"Those are bordeaux glasses" I'm surprised every time that this isn't said like Effie Trinket
Josie's cold lock orgasm straight to a 'compost' pipe shot... this show is incredible
"You come to me in my dreams you know"
There is a real lack of exploration of Wilford's obsession with Layton in fic
The green lighting over Wilford here could mean a great many things but im choosing it to be Aromantic lighting
Wilford has such a degradation kink
"That musky smell of integrity"
They should fuck about it
The frickin tiara
One train under God and Audrey
Winter Song my most beloved
All of the faces whilst this is played... Audrey seems herself for a moment, Lilah thinking about her parents, Zarah thinking about Layton, Till scared for the future and of course Ruth thinking about Melanie 😭😭😭
Josie and Layton the opposite sides of the door, this show looooves a callback
Kevin you naughty little boy
"By my side. It's like you've always wanted"
This is it this is THE defining moment in Ruth's character arc. That is what she always wanted. She felt so secure being needed by him. Being loved, in a way, by him. And now it's finally in her grasp and despite everything she has learned since, that draw, that pull... she could finally have what she spent half her life waiting for...
"Inform them officially that we're not returning for Melanie"
The audible swallow, the tears in her eyes!!! The sighing, the lengthy pause, the steeling herself and trying twice to get the words out!!! The tear rolling down hef cheek as she says
"I can't do that"
The head shake, lip licking, the quiet voice!!!
"Won't do it."
EMMY AWARD NOMINEE ALISON WRIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEFOLK
I really don't think he thought she would turn him down.
"Take off your teals" the devastation on her face. Realizing everything she is about to give up, for Melanie!!!!
The walk of shame... the passengers she considers herself responsible for... GOD
Also this show and its barely concealed foot fetish
Taking a break because I did not plan to do anything this intense with my sick day
"I confess I'm morally dyslexic" another banger
I forgot about the fucking orgy 😭
Javi my poor baby he cannot escape people being Weird in both engines
Anyways
Ben 🤝 Ruth
Loving the Melanie they built up in their heads and forgetting who she actually is and being unwilling to sell their souls alongside her anymore
Samantha Redmond's startup financed by Wilfird Industries
OR
S4 Snowpiercer having Melanie kidnapped by the Silo and replaced with Juliet Nichols
Samantha Redmond's startup financed by Wilford Industries because the idea of Sam and Melanie Cavill meeting has me vibrating out of my skin
Also even Ben putting Melanie on a pedestal and building her up into something she isn't, coming to love the version of her they've all built up in their heads more than who she is and forgetting that she's a deeply flawed individual (a fact he knows better than anyone), and seeming to know from his monologue in 3.09 that their "old selves" could hold them back but hoping that they won't
And after Layton and Melanie finally get enough of a braincell between them to realize that they need to give everyone a choice Ben goes back to the engine, Ben waits for Melanie and all he asks from her is to give herself to him and not just pieces of herself
And the implication that Ben has grown from the pirate train experiences and grown to forget who Melanie actually is and Melanie having to relearn him and their relationship, and Ben having to relearn who Melanie is and what the Horrors™️ have done to her
In conclusion: they make me insane

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Melanie and her performance of femininity is soooo interesting to me, when she's hospitality she's always in skirts (even though we see with Ruth that women in hospitality can wear pants), when she's dressed up for an event outside work hours she's in a dress, the only time we see her not in some kind of skirt or dress is in the engine scenes (and even then some of them she's in hospitality uniform)
But then when she leaves hospitality she doesn't hesitate to go back to the engineering suit, her outside work clothes are just jeans and a hoodie type shit, and when she dresses up for an outside work event she's in a suit rather than a dress
Many thoughts about how Melanie's performance as Wilford and being hospitality ran DEEP to the point that the persona she crafted for herself was very femme in a way she's actually not
Snowpiercer season 4 had so much potential good god. Why didn't they go for the "hey Nima started working on cw-7 about four years after Alex was born wonder what that's about" angle. Why didn't they make the IPF either more formidable or just nonexistent. Why did Melanie have to have literally everyone she love die in tragic ways so all she has left is her grown daughter. What if they actually grew a backbone and killed people off before the fourth season
3.10 time let's fucking goooooo
I GUESS SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE MONSTER THE ONE WHO FAVORS REASON AND SHATTERS DREAMS I'VE DIED AND SACRIFICED MY BOND WITH ALEX SO MANY TIMES FOR THIS TRAIN TO SURRENDER NOW WOULD RENDER THAT MEANINGLESS SO MAYBE IT WAS INEVITABLE THAT THE MONSTER WOULD BE ME
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TRESPASSING
THE ORIGINAL SINNERS ME AND MELANIE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WOULD COME DOWN TO THIS
Icy Boki
Melanie going to Ruth for an ally... thoughts. Many
Ruth muttering "Melanie don't" when Melanie is talking to Alex loooool
Ruth trying so hard to mediate
In or out Ruth?
Well I'm not letting you go alone am I?
We deserved to see the chaos of Ben being left alone with Liana that man looked SO scared
Till refusing to believe Audrey would go back to Wilford
I fucking love Zarah that's my girl who'll do whatever it takes to survive or to keep her daughter alive at all costs <33
Melanie willing to sell her soul to protect everyone versus Ruth refusing to sell her soul alongside her after working to be a better person!!!
Two legends are better than one
Alex joining Melanie and being angry about it
Melanie and Layton. God
FEAR OR BLOOD
AND EITHER WAY HE WINS
AND WE BOTH LOSE
RUTH HITTING BOKI WITH A SHOVEL THAT'S MY GIRL!!!
Ruth and Lights <3
The fact that Melanie and Layton are both egotistical control freaks to the point that it took them this much drama to come to the conclusion to yeet Wilford and split the train is soooo funny they have one braincell
Yeeting Wilford is enrichment for Ben
Again it's so fucking funny that it didn't occur to Layton or Melanie that splitting the train and letting people make their own choice was the answer
EVEN IF YOU LOVED ME?
EVEN IF I LOVED YOU
Roche is Till's dad :)
BEN AND MEL ENGINE SCENE ‼️
I'M HERE I'M YOURS
I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PUT A LOT OF SOCKS IN THERE
Melanie and Alex are gonna make me fucking cry
Ruth turning Tristan's W pin upside down to an M
Mel and Layton hugging <3
TILL CHOOSING AUDREY FUCKING CHRISTTTTTT
LJ choking to death on a prosthetic eyeball... girl.
SLOW DOWN FAST TRAIN 😭😭
This show is so fucking unserious I miss it like a limb
Audrey singing for Till now instead of Wilford :)
Melanie praying
This is where the show ended for me what season four 👋
That rocket totally didn't happen 🤓
Snowpiercer 3.09 time
BEN MONOLOGUE ‼️
Melanie going through the Horrors™️
Melanie calling out for Ben :(
Ben: trying to get Mel to answer
Mel: 😴
TILL AND AUDREY ‼️
I am Once Again Asking how Josie must have felt about all of this
Wilford scheming
Mel and Alex 🥺
I KEPT YOU ALIVE IN MY HEAD
YOU WERE WITH ME TOO ALL THE TIME
Ben and Mel reunion 😭
We did not explore enough the implications of Mel holding out hope that Ben would find her versus Ben having given up hope/deciding that any hope left was not worth risking everything they had for
Melanie and Layton :)
Melanie back in the engine :)
Mel leaning back for Ben to hug her from behind 😭😭
POSITIVE THINKING IS GREAT JUST NOT IF IT REPLACES CRITICAL THINKING
SORRY ABOUT LEAVING YOU TO DIE, I SUPPOSE, BUT YOU KNOW HOW THINGS ARE
IT WAS GREAT I GOT A LITTLE ME TIME
I think she's probably beaten him to death with The Iliad by now
Ben and Mel being together for fifteen fucking years and Ben not telling Mel his feelings until the apocalypse seven years ago who else was doing it like them!!! FREAKS
Ruth telling Tristan to bring out 246 bottles of champagne my girl goes hard
Alex freaking out about how she looks for Carly and Mel being so happy 🥹
Mel as Mel wearing a suit with nothing underneath the jacket when she's no longer playing hospitality pretending to be Wilford but wearing a dress when she's still pretending... she's so real
Till trying to ask Audrey out 🥹
Audrey being too ashamed to face Melanie versus Melanie imploding her own life within like three to four days of coming back to life:
TOO MUCH APOCALYPSE
Day whatever of asking why Josie/Layton/Zarah was a love triangle and not a polycule
Ruth's eyes darting to Mel's chest before the hug #mood
Alex introducing Carly to Melanie... they're girlfriends <3
THIS PLACE WASN'T SPECIAL YOU WERE
Till and Audrey are making me feral
There's something SO interesting about how they built Melanie up into this God like figure while forgetting just how fallible she is that the show really did not tap into
I don't think the WRITERS considered that Melanie might be irrational because of the drawer drugs let alone the characters in the show
Also sidenote but the bi lighting in all these scenes lmao
Ben looking at Alex :(
The worst thing Melanie Cavill has ever done was cockblock Till and Audrey
Again how is anybody surprised that Melanie "control freak" Cavill would do something like this
Ben is PISSED and it's SUCH an interesting thing to consider how much he's grown (even if he's dumb enough to perpetuate this lie) and Mel not realizing he might be this angry
It's so interesting how even BEN built Melanie up into this God like figure where he forgot she just Does Shit

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"Average person has 3 parents" factoid actually just statistical error. Average person only has 2 parents. Parents Alex, who has 3 dads and 2 moms, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
one thing about me is im always thinking about Snowpiercer. not necessarily the movie or the show or the comics.. more so just the idea. conceptually my mind lingers on the winter apocalypse cannibalism train
Good morning to train era Ruth Wardell kept gullible and stupid in order to keep the system running 🥰🥰
Good morning to New Eden Ruth Wardell trying to learn how to be a person outside of being useful and sometimes failing at that 🥰🥰
Good morning to pre-freeze Ruth Wardell willing to follow a man she just met across the globe and leave behind everything she knows because he was nice to her (definitely nothing to read into there) 🥰🥰
Aloe for Melanie and Wilford talking about Alex?
❀ aloe (affection, also grief) — “i miss them so much.”
~~~
"You miss her don't you?" Joseph asked quietly, almost solemnly. He was a regular visitor now, during the long nights. He'd never really left, not after the Station.
Melanie nodded silently. The track was smooth and dark. She could stick Her on auto, if she wanted. But she needed to feel needed, if only by the train, tonight.
"I miss her. She and I had such an unusual rapport," Joseph continued, fingering odd buttons on the control panel.
"You miss bullying her, you mean," Melanie retorted without even looking. She could sense his smile though.
"Well, there's worse reasons to miss someone I suppose."
Melanie tucked her knees up to her chin. The train was warmer now - less weight to carry, fewer spaces to heat - but she shivered nonetheless.
"It's different this time," she said, more into the icy dark than to him, "than when I thought she was dead. I miss her differently. Knowing that she's out there somewhere, alive, and I can't be near her."
"Stings right about here," Joseph jabbed at his breastbone, "doesn't it? I remember."
Okay okay Snowpiercer liveblog time this post is for 1.03 "Access is Power"
God I forgot how creepy the drawer doctor was... what happened to him
It IS cool though how they show the chip going from being cut from someone's hand all the way to the black market
SNOWPIERCER INTRO MAKE SEROTONIN MACHINE GO BRRRR
There are other engineers in the background of the scene where Mel reads "Wilford's" message????? What happened to them
Why does Nolan Grey remind me of a Mr. Potatohead
The concept of a gladiator style fighting event is wild to me lol
Snowpiercer's an ark :) it's not an authoritarian state :))
Aaaand there's the obligatory naked ass shot
Roche having three kids and only Carly making it and the implication that a choice was made... Thoughts
Ben joking about uncoupling the tail and Melanie punching him they suck so bad <3
What the FUCK is the look Melanie gives Ben after saying "God I wish I were welding"
Klimpt trying and failing to convince Layton and Till that Nikki, who looks like a rotting corpse and who can barely talk, is perfectly fine
Why the fuck did Klimpt keep Miles' hair
I'll have more things to say about Melanie's fight night outfit during the 3.09 liveblog because the CONTRAST of what she wears when she's hospitality and pretending Wilford is running the train versus when she's who she is!!! But for right now I'm barking like a dog
Every time Zarah is on my screen I'm 😍🥰😍🥰
Layton saying "I still love you Zarah"... MESSY!!
This shot of Os' ass in jeans what was with the directors of season one
Remember when coming out of the drawers had consequences and we didn't just pretend that someone would be fine after that???????
Melanie and Ruth staring at each other's chests lol

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Hey gang which random episode of Snowpiercer should I watch, excluding season four