written for the carry on countdown day 29:
Rated: Explicit for later chapters
Summary: Being in love isn't easyāsometimes it's downright terrifying. But sometimes it's worth it to open your heart. Some people are worth fighting for.
Aeroplanes donāt stop being aeroplanes when theyāre on the ground.
But Iām not on the ground anymore, am I?
Or maybe I am. Iām on the ground even when Iām thirty-five thousand feet above the Atlantic.
Baz and I havenāt spoken since the beach. Not anything meaningful, at least.
I should be grateful. Thatās twice now Penelopeās stopped me from ending things with him, even if she didnāt know thatās what she was doing.
It doesnāt make it any less painful.
It felt like I lost him, in America, like we were holding on by a thread. And then I almostĀ didĀ lose him, there at the end. To those vampires. To all that fire.
Thatās twice now Iāve saved Baz from an open flame. Twice Iāve nearly lost him to an inferno.
He told me once that I was the sun. And isnāt that all the sunĀ isĀ ? A mass of flames? Iāve got to save him, one more time. Iāve got to save him fromĀ myself.
Iām trying not to think about it on this flight. Iām trying not to think about it at all before we get home, because I donāt want to cry in front of him. Iā
Baz is nudging me with his elbow. Sliding a napkin and a pen over to me on top of the tray table in front of me.
I tilt my plastic cup of leftover ice and watch the last bit of Coke trickle along the bottom. Then I look at the open napkin.
I remember Baz screaming at me, that first night we kissed. About his mother. āShe loved what I was!ā
Thatās me now. He loved what IĀ was...Ā
Maybe heās finally figured that out.Ā
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
titsay
areudirty
