SnowFlake❄️

The building stood massively right in front of you, a thirty-storey condominium apartment where you somehow managed to snag a good deal in a unit owned by your friend who opted to rent out the place when she moved overseas. It didn't matter to you that you were a renting tenant in this beautiful residential building, you're just glad to have found a home and move in smoothly.

You made it on time inside before one of the elevators closed. You got in clutching your bag's handle, giddy and excited to get home and get ready for the housewarming party your friends organized. You almost didn't notice that you were inside with another guy. You were busy being all giggly while chatting with your bestfriend on your phone. You discreetly inspected his appearance, tall and slightly muscular. The height difference made it impossinle to get a good look of his face without being noticed so you didn't. You wondered if he was a resident or if he was visiting someone. You weren't even that interested about it, your mind just randomly went toward those thoughts.

It was when you shifted your focus in front of you that you realized you can clearly see your reflection on the elevator door. You moved your head slightly on one side to check you hair only to find the guy's face reflected in the mirror, smiling at you.

He looks like Na Jaemin, you thought and then the realization made you gasp. You turned to him, one hand over your mouth and your eyes wide in recognition.

Jaemin laughed at your reaction and lifted one hand for a small wave. "Hello."

"Wow, it really is you," you blurted out, a smile slowly creeping on your lips.

"You seem happy to see me," he teased, wiggling his eyebrows and making you chuckle.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I am. It's good to see you!" you said, gently nudging your elbow on his arm.

"You too," he beamed. "What brings you here? Judging how surprised you were to see me, I can't possibly be the reason."

There's the Jaemin you know, playful and acts egocentric for the sake of being funny. He was one of your friends from high school with whom you shared the rest of your teenage life with. You kept in touch through the years but you rarely met because of obvious reasons.

"I just moved here. Do you live here too? That's amazing."

"I know. It's a small world."

You both laughed and for a moment you couldn't think of anything else to say. You were just baffled by the coincidence.

"How about some drinks later tonight? We can catch up or something. That is if you don't already have plans," he offered and it felt as though a switch was flicked in your brain when you remembered something.

"Ah, that reminds me. You should come to my house warming. Donghyuck organized it. Didn't he tell you?"

Jaemin appeared to think before fishing his phone from his jean pocket. "Actually, he did two days ago. I just haven't read it yet."

You rolled your eyes. "You still ignore his texts?"

"Only because he nags all the time. If it's important, he can call me."

You laughed fondly, realizing how little has changed. "So are you coming?"

"Of course. I'd love to. Hyuck would drag me there anyway if I don't go."

"Knowing you live in the same building, I figured he would," you quipped.

Jaemin did not only agree to come to your housewarming, he also offered to help you prepare. Although you said he doesn't have to because your friends would be bringing most of the food, you didn't argue when he insisted. Jaemin had always been the type to extend a helping hand anytime, especially to his friends.

It was still early so you did a little cleaning even though there really isn't much to clean. Then you texted your bestfriend Heejin to let her know Jaemin is coming. She was excited to meet another friend of yours from high school and said they'll be over as soon as possible. Jaemin then arrived and you open up the door to him holding stacked containers of side dishes.

"Oh, wow. That's a lot," you commented, opening the door wider for him to pass through. "Thank you."

"I haven't prepared an actual housewarming gift so I brought you side dishes instead," he explained as he set the container to the dining table where you led him to. "They're new. My mom just brought them yesterday. And you can return the containers after you've finished everything."

"This is enough, Jaemin. You didn't have to so thank you. And I love your mom's cooking. I'm sure these will be great."

"I'm glad you like it," he said, leaning his waist against the countertop as he watch you arrange the dishes in your fridge.

"She talks about you all the time when I go there to eat," you added, smiling as you remembered having late night drinks and barbecue at their restaurant back in your town. "Always telling everyone about her handsome chef of a son."

A fond smile flashed on his lips. "She does that a lot."

You glanced back at him, mirroring his smile. "I know. It's adorable.

There is not much to cook since your friends were bringing food too and there's not much to talk about either because you're not really detached with one another. You and Jaemin were in a close circle friends so you would meet at least twice or thrice a year to catch up and share significant moments of your lives with each other. Not to mention Thanksgiving when you would all be in your hometown and you would make sure to meet up. As for Jaemin, the last time you saw each other was at your father's funeral five months ago, which was sad now that you were reminded of it.

"Have you been well?" he asked after a while. You had been sitting in your living room after you were done with the preparations, both focusing on your phones to pass the time. "How's home?"

"Well, as much as losing a loved one sucks, we went on with our lives. First few weeks were difficult but we got by. Eventually, we got back on our feet."

"Good for you," he smiled, setting his phone face-down on his thigh. He stared at you for a while and you couldn't bring yourself to look away. No words were shared between the two of you, just comforting smile from him and an acknowledging nod from you. And then your doorbell rang, signalling what you assumed was the arrival of your friends. You both made a move for the door, stopping halfway to look at each other.

"I'll do it. It would be weird if you did."

He laughed. "Yeah, I realized that."

You made your way to the foyer just in time for the doorbell to ring again. On the door monitor, you could see your friends faces, waiting for you to open up.

"Welcome to my house," you beamed at them as soon as you opened the door. Hyuck pushed through your cheering girl friends and raised the champagne bottle he was holding.

"Welcome to the big city!" With a soft pop, the bottle was opened and he shook it with so much force that it squirted champagne everywhere within your space. You and the girls shrieked, running back inside to escape Donghyuck's champagne shower.

You were all giggling as you wiped the alcohol on your skin. Seola found Jaemin looking comfortable sitting on the long sofa.

"Oh, Jaemin! I didn't know you were coming!" She waved a hand at him and received a nod and a smile in response.

"Well, coincidentally, he actually lives in the same building. Isn't it amazing?" you told Seola, guiding them from the foyer into the living room. The boys soon followed, laughing and pushing each other into the house with Hyuck still carrying the half-empty champagne bottle.

"Hyuck, I'm not gonna clean after your mess, you should know that," you chided as you helped Seola bring the food to the dining table.

"It was for you!" said Hyuck, following you into the kitchen. He stood behind you and ducked to place his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling affectionately. Then he showed you a nice bouquet of flowers. "Here, I got another one."

"Well, thank you, but I still won't clean it so..." You spun to face him and take the bottle and bouquet from his hand. Then you pulled him to the part of the house where you kept your cleaning materials. You opened up the small cabinet and took out a mop. "Get started on it now. We'll eat once you're done."

"Aw man," he complained but he trudged back to the doorway anyway.

You looked around to see which of your friends came. There's Jaemin and Hyuck. Seola was present with her boyfriend, Minho. Heejin came with them too and you wondered if anyone else is coming.

You rounded back to the kitchen and helped set the table. "Is this everyone?"

"Yes. Did you want more?" asked Heejin, tilting her head at you and smiling before swooping in to give you a quick peck on the cheek.

"Not really but I kinda imagined you bringing Jinyoung along," you replied, referring to her boyfriend. Heejin snorted.

"Nah, he's on the night shift." She does a double take. "You know what, I think he's on the 24-hour shift. He never gets a break. Let alone sleep."

"I don't think any first year resident doctor gets any sleep," you noted.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I just feel really bad for him."

You felt an elbow brush your right arm so you glanced that way and saw Jaemin placing cold cans of beer on the table. Your gazes met and he gave you a quick smile before leaving your side.

Heejin nudged your elbow and whispered in your ear. "Handsome as ever."

You shrugged, glancing at him to make sure he wouldn't hear you. In a low voice, you said, "I know. He was already good-looking back then, now he's even more handsome."

"You mean hot?" Heejin wiggled her eyebrows so you giggled.

"Yeah, I guess he is hot now," you agreed, giggling quietly with your bestfriend.

"Who's hot?" Hyuck's head popped between yours and Heejin's.

"Not you," Heejin snorted, pushing his face before walking away. You laughed at her antics. Hyuck and Heejin have always had a love-hate relationship. Heejin was your friend in the city before you moved to permanently live in your father's hometown. She would occasionally visit you there and that was how she met your friends. You remembered how Hyuck treated her so well that she fell for him only for her to find out that Hyuck was in fact, just trying to be nice. That's how their Tom and Jerry relationship began.

"It's good that you're here now. And it's even better that Jaemin lives in the same building. That means we can get together more often," Hyuck said as you all started to get seated for dinner. Conversations and laughter filled the table, with Hyuck and Seola bringing most of the humor.

When you moved to your living room for drinks, you found out that they had each brought housewarming gifts and blessed you for your new home. The conversations soon turned to random accounts of the past, when you were all teenagers living in the moment and enjoying your youth.

You were reminded of the time when you were all in your small town, a bunch of high school kids trying to survive school. You were the new kid at the time, a fresh face from Seoul. Seoul ws not that far from the town, but it was still a small town and everyone at school was interested with the new face, especially Hyuck who befriended you first. Like Heejin, you mistook his warmth for affection, but luckily for you, you weren't really considering any romance on your first year of high school so you let it pass.

Your friendship would go on for the next few years and you celebrated everything with them, birthdays, competitions, festivals, and even something as small as getting through the exam week. Your circle wasn't big, mostly just you, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Seola. As well as Jeno and Eunbi, both you rarely see now because life has brought you apart.

"Honestly, if it wasn't for Jaemin telling Hyuck to invite you to lunch, you would be hanging out with a completely different set of friends throughout school," Seola said while you were talking about the time you first came to school.

"Jaemin did?" you questioned, genuinely surprised. It was news to you because you had always thought it was Hyuck who was adamant that you became a part of their circle.

"You didn't know that?" Hyuck asked, surprised. "Remember when you won silver medal during the swimming competition in third year and we brought you flowers that made you ugly cry?"

You exhaled, rolling your eyes when the embarassing memory flashed in your mind.

"Jaemin bought those flowers," Seola confirmed. You glanced up at Jaemin, who was sitting right behind you on the couch while you were on the floor. He just flattened his lips together, embarrassed to admit or deny the fact.

"That's actually very sweet," Heejin sang, tilting her head to the side for effect.

"Jaemin took care of her so well that we had a secret bet in 11th grade on whether they'd start dating or not," Seola confessed and that was the one fact that made you gasp audibly.

"You did? I had no idea!"

Seola smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, it was kind of the point of the whole bet being a secret, sweetheart."

You glanced at Jaemin again to inquire if he knew about the bet. Jaemin shrugged and shook his head.

Heejin turned to Seola and asked, "Who won that bet?"

"Hyuck and Jeno," Seola replied, grinning at Heejin. "But technically they both cheated because we had no idea Jeno was making a move on her and Donghyuck knew about it."

"To be fair, even Jaemin knew Jeno was into her," Hyuck defended. "It's you girls' fault for thinking Jaemin had a thing for her."

"You still cheated and haven't paid us back."

You suddenly remembered Jeno, the only guy you dated in high school. It was a pretty long relationship that lasted from the beginning to the end of senior year. But like most first loves, that one never came back. Not that you wished for it to come back, anyway. To you, being a teenager and falling in love was both an embarrassing and beautiful thing to reminisce about.

You hadn't plan on getting anyone drunk on this party, but it just happened after Donghyuck took out his secret stash of alcohol that he kept hidden from you and you couldn't do anything about it. After all, what kind of housewarming party would this be if they all went home sober? By midnight, you were tipsy and dizzy, leaning your back on the sofa while Jaemin's arm was stretch on the backrest. You were almost oblivious of the proximity because Hyuck was flush on your other side, drunkenly singing a super sad rendition of Day6's Beautiful. Heejin was passed out on the other sofa while Seola and her boyfriend are nowhere to be found.

"Gosh, I hope they're not doing it in my bedroom," you joked after you pointed out their absence by asking if they left without saying goodbye.

"Actually, they went that way." Jaemin pointed to the direction of your bathroom.

"Oh, that's so much worse. I hope they clean up after themselves."

You laughed about it for a bit, only to be silenced by Hyuck's out of tune, sharp-pitched, high note. Your eyes met Jaemin's and you stared at each other for a while before you both burst out laughing.

"How is he so out-of-tune when he can sing really well?" you asked, nudging Hyuck so he'd stop getting sandwiched between the two men.

"Yeah, he is a good singer. Remember when we went to a karaoke room after the swimming competition?"

"I do. There was a singing contest and he registered at the last minute. Wasn't it you who signed his parental consent form?"

Jaemin nodded with a grin. "And he won."

"He did. Talented bastard." You paused, looking at Hyuck who is now mumbling inaudibly while resting his head on the armrest of the sofa. "Ah, about that. Is it true you bought the flowers that day?"

Jaemin shrugged. "It's pretty normal to give someone flowers to congratulate them on something."

"Was it also your idea to give me flowers when I ranked third in the exams?" Jaemin nodded, reaching forward to grab a snack from the coffee table. "How about those other times?"

He chewed on some chips before annswering. "Most times. But the guys picked up on it after some time. Until it became a habit."

You remembered how the boys would give each of you a flower for birthdays, contests, and graduation. You remembered how Seola broke down crying when her parents weren't present during her cello recital but the boys in your circle each had one bouquet of flowers for her so she felt a bit better. You went to a karaoke room after that and sang your hearts out until you were told to leave before 10pm because you were all minors.

"It's cute how you influenced the boys to do something nice," you chimed, glancing at the direction of the vase where you placed the flowers Donghyuck brought tonight.

"I didn't really intend to, but I'll take the credit," he grinned. At that moment, the bathroom door opened where a giggling couple came out looking equally breathless and euphoric.

"You guys look cozy," Seola said as she lunged into you, making Jaemin move aside. You grimaced at her, pushing Seola's face away from you when she tried to hug you. Her boyfriend, Minho gave you a sheepish smile. He had always been shy and you felt bad that he matched with a force like Seola. At the same time, you were happy for him because Seola is the most loyal person you know.

Seola pulled away from you just far enough to kneel on the carpeted floor. Her eyes were focusing on your clothes then on Jaemin's. "Hey, you're coupling again."

"What?" you asked, looking down on your clothes. When you glanced at Jaemin, you realized that your cream sweater matched his cream pants while his grey t-shirt is the same shade as your grey sweatpants.

Seola let out a pitchy laugh. "You guys look cute."

"Okay, alright, time to go," Minho chided softly, gently taking Seola by the arm to help her up. To you, he said, "I should take her home. She has work tomorrow."

You gasped, standing up at once to help Minho. "Why didn't she say that? Gosh, she shouldn't have drunk too much."

"I know," he chuckled as you handed him Seola's purse. "Thanks."

You walked them to the door and told them to take care before they left. When you went back to the living room, Donghyuck was laying down the couch, his head comfortabley resting on Jaemin's lap.

"I'll take him back to my apartment. You should rest now," said Jaemin with which you responded with a nod.

As you helped Jaemin drag Hyuck out of your house, you give the mumbling drunk man a peck on his cheek before bidding them goodbye. Cleaning followed after closing the door but it hasn't been five minutes yet since Jaemin left when he came back.

"Need help cleaning up?" He asked but didn't even let you reply when he pushed through the door and went straight to the living room to clear out the table. He made himself comfortable too quickly that you didn't even have the chance to say you can do it all by yourself, so you decided to just leave him to it.

Heejin woke up when you shook her, helping her up into your bedroom and telling her to change first before going to sleep. When you went back out, Jaemin had just finished putting out the last dishes from the coffee table and was about to start washing them but you stopped him.

"I'll finish up here. You should get some rest too."

"Are you sure?" he asked but he was already taking off the gloves, covering a yawn with one hand. You nodded. "Alright, I'll take out the trash then."

"Thanks," you smiled as he grabbed the trash bag. He walked up to you and mumbled his thanks too.

"Thanks for having me. And you're welcome."

"No. I mean, really, thank you for helping me out. I'm pretty drowsy myself so, you're a life saver."

He just stood there, smiling as he examined your face. Then he touched your cheek with the back of his hand. "You're welcome. Good night."

The next morning, you woke up later than expected and found the space next to you empty. A text from Heejin told you that she had to leave early for work so you scolded her for getting drunk on a weekday. As for you, you just got accepted in your new work and will begin tomorrow but you need to drop by the office today to set up your desk. So after a quick bath, you took your car to the office, making sure to pass by the coffee shop right in front of the building to pick up some coffee for your colleagues in the PR team of the Marketing Department. Your team leader has briefed you about your team so you knew how many cups to buy. Much to your surprise, you found Jaemin in the counter, taking your order. He smiled upon seeing the surprise on your face.

"Did you have a good sleep?" he asked jovially.

"I did, thanks for asking. How about you? You seem energetic and fresh, it makes me jealous," you grumbled.

"Nothing a cup of coffee can't fix," he replied, repeating your order to you before he passed it on to the barista.

You were looking around when Jaemin got back to you. Amazement is evident in your eyes as you took in the interior of the whole cafe. Jaemin couldn't help but smile.

"What do you think?" he asked, prompting your attention.

"I think it looks amazing. Is this yours?" you questioned with a proud smile.

Jaemin shrugged but he nodded his head. You uttered a 'wow' that made Jaemin smile even wider.

"That's why the name was familiar," you noted, remembering that Jaemin's parents had set up the same cafe in your town less than a year ago. "It suits you."

"Because I love coffee?" he asked, stepping out of the counter to join you.

"Yeah. You're crazy for it," you laugheed mockingly. "I think addicted may be the right term."

Jaemin raised two hands. "Arrest me officer." You laughed at his lame retort and he did too. "What brought you to the area?"

"Here?"

"Not me, I assume. You're surprised to see me again."

You laughed because it was true. "No, not you. Actually, I'll start working there tomorrow." You pointed at the building across the street.

"The Marketing Firm?" he asked and you nodded. "That's great. Some employees there are regulars."

"I would assume so."

"Congratulations," he chimed before going back to the counter. You watched him move around while you waited for your order. After less the two minutes, he brings out the cups of coffee you ordered and a slice of cheesecake. "It's on the house. For good luck."

"No, no. I can't just take this for free," you insisted, taking out your card to pay for the cheesecake. But Jaemin crossed his arms over his chest to refuse. Seeing he would never take it, you stuffed it back into your wallet. "Thank you. I guess I could use some good luck."

"Just come find me here. I'll give you more of it."

You felt happy hearing that. For some reasons, your worries about moving here started dissipating. "Thanks. See you soon."

At the office, your desk had a few balloons on it and the team welcomed you with applause. You had a little time to get acquainted with them before they resumed their work and you started setting up. After about an hour, you bade them goodbye and your team leader even walked you out.

Early the next morning, you headed out for work. Since you arrive a bit early, you decided to drop by the cafe to get coffee and hopefully say 'Hi' to Jaemin. He wasn't there though, but you didn't think about it too much and just got yourself a nice cup of iced latte.

Work was work. It wasn't very tiring, but you had quite a lot of tasks on your first day. On your previous job, you would have complained about the workload, but since this was your first day, you were pretty energetic. PR management was quite difficult and your role is mainly on social media management. As a newbie, you were assigned with only one client first, a food brand. But other than handling their social media, you also had to prepare presentations on your online promotion approaches and techniques to be presented to the meeting by afternoon on that day.

At lunch, you got ready to leave with your colleagues, Yunseo and Jaehee, but a delivery arrived for you and it was a packed lunch from Jaemin's cafe.

"It's from the boss, ma'am," said the delivery guy who was actually a service crew from the cafe.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," you replied before bidding him goodbye and going back to your cubicle.

Yunseo called your name as she headed to your desk. "Are you still coming?"

"No, actually, I think I'll have my lunch here," you replied, looking up at her when she was by your desk.

"Oh, Nana's Cafe? That's where we're going for lunch," she said. "It's right across the street."

It came with a note saying he heard you were looking for him that morning and enclosed his number for you to contact.

"Is that a note?" Yunseo asked but you were quick to put it away and give her an awkward grin. Yunseo gave you a teasing look.

"Just come with us, eonnie," said Jaehee. "It would be lonely here by yourself."

There was no reason for you to decline and it was true it would be lonely to eat alone. Besides the fact that you want to get to know your co-workers better, you also don't want to seem like a loner. With the packed lunch in your hands, you joined them at the cafe for lunch where the four of you found a comfortable spot to sit in.

"The food is great here," Jaehee commented just as you all settled down after ordering.

"Yes, and the owner is handsome," Yunseo added, giggling as she brushed shoulders with you. "He's quite popular online too."

"You know what, I tried to get him to work with XO Foods but he declined. I guess he knows he's popular enough and won't need the exposure," Jaehee shared while you just nodded.

"How popular is he?" you asked, taking interest on the subject.

Yunseo pulled up the cafe's IG and sure enough, they are tagged in plenty of posts, with most of these posts featuring Jaemin himself. Sure you've seen the tags and insights about the cafe, but you had no idea the popularity was mainly due to Jaemin's visuals.

"It helps that he had several branches in the city and systematically works in one branch every day," Jaehee added. "On Wednesdays, he's here."

"Yeah, doesn't he have like, six branches all over Seoul?" Yunseo asked and Jaehee nodded in response.

"How do you know so much?" asked Woojin, your male colleague.

"Because I tried to get him on with XO Foods! I did a bit of research about him."

Yeonsu expressed that she had a crush on Jaemin and dropped by regularly every Wednesday to spot him. You found out that this place was dubbed Wednesday Branch because Jaemin is here on Wednesdays. He had six branches in Seoul has scheduled days on each branch. Yeonsu said he's probably at the Apgujeong branch today. Woojin, on the other hand, joked that Jaehee and Yeonsu are simps for the owner and he's just here because the food is top tier.

"He's a dreamboat, any girl would simp over him," Yunseo said dreamily. You looked down at the lunch that was delivered to you a while ago and hoped they wouldn't start asking where you got it from.

You realized just how much you didn't know about Jaemin. You knew he became a chef and had a restaurant, but not to this extent. And you cannot say it was because you weren't interested, rather it was because he speaks less about himself in a humble, reserved kind of manner. You realized you should have believed Hyuck when he went on about how Jaemin is the richest among your friend circle today. He was right, it seems. And as you all ate, you realized the food really was great.

Jaemin wasn't much of a cook as far as you remember, but he always cooked when you're hanging out at Jeno's place. It was his mom who made phenomenal food. His mother owned a small restaurant in your town that you frequented in. You hung out there to eat after exams, or games, and stuff. You even remember that you had your very first alcohol there when his father slipped soju disguised as a water bottled on your table when you all turned 19. You got caught of course, but since you've finished up the entire bottle, Jaemin's mom can only scold you.

The week passed quickly and you have fully adjusted to your new work and your new home. On your way to work, you passed by the cafe. It has become a habit since you didn't own a coffee maker and needed coffee in the morning. You would have gotten yourself one, but you sucked at making coffee. An instant capsule is what you can do at best, but your taste buds just don't like it. A female employee was on the counter when you went to order and she gave you a buzzer. You found a seat and waited there as you realized the considerable amount of people in the cafe. It was more packed than usual, mostly with girls. Then you realized today was Wednesday and Jaemin will be here.

Come to think of it, you haven't bumped into him all week, which you thought was weird considering you live in the same building and floor. Maybe your schedules don't match so you didn't think much about it. But then there were quiet gasps from the customers, followed by murmurs. When you followed their line of sight, you saw Jaemin carrying a tray with a smile. You realized he was looking at you and felt conscious of the murmurs.

He placed the takeout cup in front of you along with a fold of tissue papers and your receipt.

"Here you are." His smile was beautiful today, well to be fair, you had always thought his smile was radiant. "How did you like the food?"

"Sorry?" you asked, puzzled for a second. "Oh, from last week. Yeah, it was great. Top tier, even. Thank you so much for that by the way. And I actually had most of my lunches here."

You felt a little bad for forgetting to thank him. He even gave you his number but it totally slipped your mind.

"I'm glad you liked it. Come back more often, maybe you'll catch me here and I'll give you a discount."

"Like, on Wednesdays?"

Jaemin gave you a teasing look. "You know my schedules?"

"My coworkers do."

"I see, well I'm here on Wednesdays. I'll be expecting you."

Your phone buzzed and you checked it to see a message from Jaehee. You hurriedly grabbed the coffee and found a complimentary cookie with it so you thanked Jaemin.

"You're welcome. Enjoy your coffee," he said as you handed him the buzzer. "Will I be seeing you for lunch?"

"Sorry?" you questioned. He asked that right when you were at the door, making everyone hear him. For a moment, you thought he was inviting you to have lunch with him.

"With your coworkers."

Your eyes widened in realization and shame. "Oh. With them, of course. I think so. They would hate to miss you today."

"Alright then. See you later."

But you didn't see him again that day, and for the rest of the week. A lunch meeting had been scheduled for your team to meet up with a certain client so you all skipped Nana's Cafe.

Days seemed to pass quickly in the city. You woke up one weekend to find your mother at your doorstep with shopping bags in her arms. You let her in and she went on to comment about how it's late in the morning and you're just climbing out of bed.

"Mom, I'm not late. You're just early," you reasoned, sitting next to her on the sofa and leaning on her shoulder to get more sleep.

She shook her body to get you off of her. "Go get a bath first!"

"Later," you grumbled, locking her in your embrace. She eventually stopped squirming and just let you hug her. She even had you lay your head on her lap. "How are you these days?"

"Fine. I've done nothing but work, but it's not that hard," you confessed, closing your eyes as she caressed your head.

"How about food? Are you eating well?"

"If you're so worried, you should have brought me food instead of clothes," you conplained, although you both knew you meant it as a joke.

Your mother looked at the shopping bags. "What's the point of raising you when you can't even say 'thank you'?"

You just laughed, the familiar warmth creeping in your heart upon hearing your mother's familiar nagging. While most moms can bring home-made food and side dishes for their children, your mom brings you clothes and accessories. She grew up in a wealthy family and was pampered for most of her life so she never really worried about cooking. Even after she married your father, you still lived in comfort and your father is a great cook. You had come to accept that about her because like your mother, you are also an awful cook.

"Jaemin's mom said you two live in the same building," she asked. "Do you see him a lot?"

"Not really. But I always eat at his cafe."

Your mother chuckled. "How nice is that? Back home, we get most of our food from their restaurant. Here in the city, you eat at their son's cafe. We rely on their family's cooking too much, don't we?"

You sat up and looked at her with a smile. "If you put it like that, it does sound funny."

She flicked your forehead, making you scream in pain. "Be grateful. Neither you and I can cook! You should have learned a thing or two from your father if you wanted to survive by yourself."

"Mom, there are restaurants for a reason!" you clapped back and she couldn't even respond because your doorbell rang.

You glanced at it and groaned. "Why are you people barging in so early?"

As you stood up, your mom angrily scolded you for calling her 'you people'. But your loud gasp quieted her. She followed right behind you asking what happened. "Who's there? Why are you so surprised?"

Jaemin's face is clearly registered on your door monitor. Your mother beamed happily. "Oh, it's Na Jaemin. Open up."

"You open up. I'm gonna go brush my teeth," you declared, bolting towards the bathroom to freshen up.

You also changed into more decent clothes, remembering to wear a bra. After a while, you came out to find your mom and Jaemin at the kitchen, arranging containers in your fridge.

"What's going on here?" you prompted, making your way to them and grabbing an apple from the fruit basket on your table.

"Good morning," Jaemin greeted passively, eyes focused on his task.

"Jaemin brought side dishes," your mom said happily and you glanced at Jaemin who smiled at you.

"Again? Thank you so much. That's so nice of you," you chimed, helping them by taking out the old ones he first gave you about a month ago. Most of them were already empty.

"Mom came over yesterday. She brought more this time because I told her I shared them with you," Jaemin told you. Then he turned to your mom. "She just left this morning, actually. It's a shame you missed her, Auntie."

"It is. We could have went to a spa together or something. You know, to thank her for including my lazy daughter."

"Mom!" you chided while you got ready to wash the old containers.

But your mother ignored that. "Ah, how about we set a schedule for it? We could come to Seoul together and bond."

"She would love that," Jaemin affirmed and your mother seemed happy to hear that.

"It's the least I could do. Your mother helped me a lot. And I'm thankful for you helping my daughter out here. We owe so much to your family."

You let them chat away while you wash the dirty containers. After that, you wiped them clean and packed them so Jaemin could bring them back to his house. While you were at it, Jaemin and your mother has moved to the living room so you decided to slice up some fruit for them.

"So I heard. I'd go over next time I'm here," your mom told Jaemin. They were talking about Jaemin's restaurants when you joined them.

"You can go over today, mom. Why wait till next time?"

Your mom turned to you. "I won't be here for long. I have plans with your grandfather today and then I'll go back home."

You just nodded, taking a fork to get a slice of peach. Your mom did the same.

"That's a shame. But I also have plans today, so I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to entertain you anyway," said Jaemin, standing up from his seat. "I actually have to go now. I just came to drop the sides."

"You're leaving already? I sliced fruits!" you told him but he just chuckled.

"I brought those fruits. I can have them at home."

"Ah, right. Thank you, by the way. And thank your mom for me. I really appreciate it."

"I will. It was nice seeing you again, Auntie. Come visit me anytime."

"I will. Thank you, Jaemin."

You both walked him to the door, uttering more thanks until he disappeared. After that, you went with your mother to meet your grandparents. It was a hearty lunch with them who fondly showered you with compliments and kept telling you to go see them when you're free. You realized yet again that it has been a month since you moved here but you haven't really gone out to meet anyone. You made a mental note to go see them next weekend.

Heejin calls you while you were on your way home. You had just parted with your mother after the lunch with your parents and you had actually ignored Heejin's messages during that.

"I just got home, what is it?" you asked.

"This is crazy news! Crazy!" she said, sounding ballistic. You thought she'd deliver some gossip or exclusive like she always does. Although during those other times, she didn't act this excited. Heejin is a journalist in a big paper and she writes mostly about celebrities.

You stood in front of the underground elevator and it had just closed when you pushed it again, hoping it would open just before it ascended.

"Spill it."

"Jeno just got engaged."

At that moment, the elevator door opened and you saw Jaemin and Jeno staring right back at you. You were surprised to see them, but Jeno was more surprised to see you. He might have tried to hide behind thick sunglasses and a bucket hat, but you recognized him anyway. You hung up on Heejin and awkwardly entered the elevator with the two guys behind you.

You heard Jeno call your name so you glanced back at him and smiled. "How long has it been?"

"I'm not so sure. But it's been a while," you replied, eyeing Jaemin curiously.

"It's good to see you again," Jeno added, smiling underneat his sunglasses. You can almost see the way his eyes were smiling at you too.

"You too, Jen."

You remembered the time you started going out with the ace student, Lee Jeno. How you were both in the same friend circle and you had a crush on him the moment you met him. He was nice to you but didn't express interest until late into junior year. You dated for a while, innocently navigating young love. He was wealthy and had a good background. When his father got married, you all attended the ceremony to comfort him because he disliked the whole thing. But right before graduation, you remembered breaking up with Jeno after he said they were moving permanently in Seoul where his stepmom was working as an actress. You would have been fine with LDR, but he wasn't, especially after he said he auditioned to be an idol trainee and got accepted. You remembered crying, like the dumb teen that you are. And it was in the restaurant of Jaemin's family, surrounded by your friends that you were comforted by spicy tteokbokki.

You had long made peace with your break up. It was long ago and you were both young then. Heck you have even dated two other guys since then. You were happy for him and he seemed happy too. He didn't become an idol, but he made a name for himself as an actor. The last thing you remember reading about him was that he had quit acting and is teaching at an art school. Now, it seems he will soon get married.

"Would you like to join us for drinks? We're celebrating my engagement. Donghyuck will be there too," Jeno invited just as you all got off the same floor.

"Thanks but I have work tomorrow. Congratulations, though."

"Alright. It was nice to see you again."

They headed to the direction of Jaemin's unit and before leaving, Jaemin turned to you to say, "Goodnight."

"Have fun," you replied before punching in your passcode.

Heejin called you after the articles were posted and gushed about how you dated an actual celebrity.

"Well, he wasn't a celebrity then and we were literal teenagers," you blurted.

"Did you kiss at all?"

Your brows knitted, glancing at her face on the video call. "Yes. But that's as far as we went. Don't get weird ideas."

Heejin laughed. "Wouldn't it be nice if it was you?"

You rolled your eyes, pausing on the typing you were doing in your laptop. "Are you interviewing Jeno's ex-girlfriends for an article? Why are you asking ridiculous questions?"

"No, I'm not. I'm just curious."

You thought about her question and then shuddered. "No. Can't even imagine myself there. We were just kids when we dated, Heejin. And I pretty much never thought about marriage at that time. Good for him that he's settling down though."

"What about Hanbin? You talked about marrying him two years ago."

"Yes and we broke up right after that because he wasn't ready but he got married a month later."

"Geez, why is everyone getting married?" Heejin grimaced and shuddered.

"Just so you know, we're at the age where our friends are all getting married.

"Not me. I won't." Heejin laughed maniacally.

You were working late at night on some edits in your publication materials when you suddely felt hungry and decided to go to the convenience store. There was one attached to the building, so you didn't have to go too far, but you were disappointed to see that there were barely any food left and the convenience store guy said the new stocks will come in tomorrow. You should have gone grocery shopping that weekend, so stupid.

When you went to pay for some chips, you saw the man in front of you putting two packs of ramen on the counter. Those were the last ones and you thought about buying them from the hooded man.

"Excuse me, do you really need two packs of ramen? That's pretty heavy. How about letting me buy the other one instead?" you asked and then realized it wasn't the right approach. When the man turned to you, you saw that it was Jaemin. "Oh, it's you."

Jaemin grinned. "Wanna eat ramen with me?"

"Yes!" you replied without missing a beat and the cashier girl made a loud gasp. Only then did you realize the situation and the reason for her reaction. "No. I mean... like actual ramen. Not whatever type of ramen. Hey!"

The girl was startled when you hollered at her. From the looks of her, she seemed a lot younger than you are, probably a part-timing student. "Yes, ma'am?"

"How old are you? Why are you thinking weird thoughts?" you scolded despite feeling embarrassed to the point of blushing.

"I didn't say anything, ma'am."

Jaemin grabbed the chips from your hand and slid them to the counter. "Ignore her. She's just shy. We'll pay for these."

You hit Jaemin's arm when you recognized the teasing in his tone. He just laughed and turned to the cashier. After paying, you ran out of the store first while Jaemin followed.

"Should we walk some more? There's a convenience store two blocks from here," he offered as you walked back to the building entrance.

"I thought you were gonna give me the other one?"

Jaemin glanced at you. "I would have, but one pack is not enough for me and Donghyuck."

"Hyuck again? He should just live with you at this point," you quipped. Donghyuck always went to hang out at Jaemin's place and often he would invite you guys in the group chat but most of you are busy.

"I thought you have work tomorrow?"

You nodded. "I'm making last minute edits. Then I got hungry."

"How about joining us? There's fried chicken and this ramen too."

You sighed as you two stopped in front of the elevators. "I'd love to, but I can't hang out tonight."

"You don't have to. You can just eat and then leave right after. It'll take you only five or ten minutes max."

"Okay. Thanks," you replied. You were hungry anyway and you could use a break from staring at your computer.

You thought Jeno would still be there, but Jaemin said he had left an hour ago. Hyuck was playing video games while Jaemin worked on the food. There were beer next to Hyuck and he was screaming at the TV screen so you opted not to join him even though the sofa seemed inviting. You noted how Jaemin's home was clean and cozy, especially his kitchen.

He worked fast, all the while chatting you up on your day and teasing about how your ex is about to get married.

"It's fine as long as I get an invite for being his first girlfriend ever," you joked, chopping up some spring onions that he surprisingly trusted you to help with.

Jaemin laughed. "That's funny because I actually need a plus one. You should come with me. We can laugh at their high society guests and meet celebrities."

"Laugh at their high society guests? I'm pretty sure my mom would be there too."

"Ah, right. She's friends with Jeno's Dad." Jaemin pointed the spoon at you. "And you're from high society."

You snorted and shook your head, taking the spoon from his hand. "Never lived that way. Not even once."

You tasted the broth and complimented its rich flavor. Jaemin laughed at you, saying the flavor came with the pack.

"You're right. It wasn't from your talent," you quipped and you both laughed.

"Are you two dating? You seem in love and happy," said Donghyuck who popped out of nowhere.

"Shut it," you threatened, holding out the spoon as a weapon.

You and Hyuck basically inhaled the food as soon as it was served. It didn't wait long and Jaemin wasn't only a good cook, but a great chef. He had eggs with it and some leafy greens as well as delicious side dishes from his mom.

"This kimchi is great," Hyuck commented and you nodded in approval.

"If I went home with just the chips, I would have ate the side dishes in my fridge," you said, taking more noodles from the pot.

"Is the restaurant still there?" Hyuck asked, referring to the restaurant owned by Jaemin's family.

"Yeah. The cafe was right next to it but their restaurant is more popular," you replied. "I still frequented the place when I was there. And I also got updates about Jaemin from his mom. She talks about him all the time."

"Were you so interested about Jaemin that his mom talked about him so much?"

You slurped on the noodles and glared at Hyuck. "I'm not!" you insisted but somehow it came out a little too defensively even if you didn't mean to.

"She talks about you a lot too," Jaemin said to you. "When I go home, or when she comes over, she talks about you and what you're up to."

"Right, didn't she tell you about her and Hanbin going out?" Donghyuck laughed and Jaemin nodded, grinning playfully.

"She did. She also said Hanbin dumped you and got married one month later."

You rolled your eyes at them, taking their teasing in stride.

"It was a good riddance. Hanbin is a jerk," Hyuck spat.

"I agree," said Jaemin. "Remember when we graduated high school and he punched a classmate for taking a picture with her girlfriend at the time?"

Donghyuck scoffed. "Yeah, total garbage."

"How did you end up dating him, anyway?" Jaemin asked, his forehead creasing with how much his brows were knotting.

"To be fair, he stopped being a jerk. He wasn't a jerk even after we broke up. We talked about marriage and we agreed but he wanted to stay there. I don't. God knows I would never be content to stay in that town my whole life," you explained.

"Good for you. Our town was lovely, but you can't make a life of your own if you don't get out of there," Hyuck said and you were surprised that he was taking the conversation seriously.

It was ironic that you were the last to leave, considering you were the one who wasn't originally from that town in the first place. But you're happy now that you're out of there. It was a lovely town, like Donghyuck said, but it hinders your endeavors. You know you are made for more than just a small town marketing assistant. Heck you even went to a big school just to make sure you find opportunities outside town. You ended back there and stayed for two years before you're finally out.

You remembered college graduation and realized even on that, you were with the same friends to celebrate. You came home after graduation and the town had a big party to congratulate you and the others who finished their studies. Jaemin was the one who handed you flowers at the time. And then you got drunk with your friends, singing your hearts out in a karaoke room like you always did when you were teens. You missed every second of it and loved looking back on it.

A few days later, you attended a meeting for the XO Foods' anniversary events. The main task was to hold a cooking competition and the winner will be an endorser for the brand. There was a long list of potential contestants and you weren't surprised to find Jaemin in that list. They picked the most popular, good looking, and young candidates for the mini-show. Its main purpose was to promote after all so picking people with good visuals was vital.

After the meeting, you took it upon yourself to visit Jaemin's cafe to find him and talk to him about the competition. There was prize money and the feature can help his brand and help the company as well. It was a Friday, so naturally he won't be at the cafe. Then you remembered you had his number so you texted him instead. But instead of replying, he just called you.

"I know you didn't wanna do it. My coworker has tried before, and you declined. But I just wanna know, maybe, if you changed your mind about working with XO Foods for a project?"

"XO Foods?"

"Yeah. They're the client I'm assigned to."

"Alright, sure," he replied without missing a beat.

That was quick and you haven't even explained the whole thing yet, so you did just that before accepting his answer.

"Yeah, I'll do it," he replied after your explanation. "I could use the exposure and the pay seemed decent."

You squealed. "Thank you! Oh, gosh. I though it would be difficult to convince you."

Jaemin just chuckled heartily. "Anything for you really."

You gawked at nothing, confused by what he said but you kept quiet.

"Just let me know when you need me for it."

"Yeah, I will."

"Alright, y/n" he smiled, followed by a proper enunciation of your name that seemed to roll perfectly on his tongue.

You weren't prepared for the random texts that you would get from him ever since he got your phone number. At first it came the next morning, a picture of freshly made bread pulled out from the oven. It had a note that says, "Come try a piece before you get to work!" Then the next day at lunch time, he asked if you already ate and whether you'd like to try the newest addition to their menu. The texts were mostly that and it almost felt like you subscribed to a food delivery service that sends notifications about food. You didn't think much of it, but replied politely anyway. Sometimes you said the food looks good, sometimes you said you'd get a bite before work, other times you can only decline due to work. But it was fun so you just went with it.

The meeting with three competing chefs came and you felt proud of your team for a job well done. Everyone is engaging in your online campaigns and you managed to snag three competitive, handsome and pretty, popular influencer chefs. It went smoothly and surely it did not slip your coworkers notice when Jaemin approached you after for a quick chat. Nothing much was talked about between you. He just asked if you had lunch already and left after you said you did.

Jaehee and Yunseo started teasing you and asked how you two were so close.

"We're friends, that's all," you said concisely. It was the truth and there really isn't anything else to add.

"Why didn't you tell us? We've been to his cafe a lot of times! We even met him!" Yunseo asked, playfully hitting your arm several times.

"Well, it felt a bit obnoxious to say I know a popular person," you confessed which was true too.

"Is that why he always comes out to greet us?" Jaehee asked, bewildered. "And you got him to join the competition too!"

"Eonnie, if you guys aren't a thing, maybe you can introduce me," Yunseo suggested, batting her eyelashes at you and making you chuckle.

"We're not a thing and I'll introduce you for sure but how he reacts to it will be up to him," you told Yunseo who just squealed happily and said she'll be fine as long as Jaemin knew her name. "You're a cutie."

"Am I?" Yunseo asked cutely. "I hope Jaemin thinks so too."

Border

Jaemin knocked on your door early that weekend and you opened up to see a box of pastry from him.

"What's this?"

"Oh, it's the cookie samplers I promised you last time," he said, referring to one of his texts.

You took it from his hand and noticed that he was dressed for jogging. "Thank you. Were you working out?"

"Yeah, I went for a jog then passed by the cafe for that," he replied, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Anyway, gotta go. I got work today. Enjoy your day-off though!"

"Thanks again. Have fun at work!"

You didn't think you'd see him again that day, but you did. The brunch date Yunseo had set up with you and Jaehee happened to be at Nana's Cafe in a different branch.

Yeonsu said Jaemin would be here today. She wasn't wrong because Jaemin was at the counter, taking orders. He noticed you and immediately switched with a staff to take your orders.

"These are my coworkers. You've met them before," you introduced. "Jaehee and Yunseo."

Yunseo stood up to shake hands with him. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Jaemin beamed. "What can I get you started with?"

After taking your orders, you chatted amongst yourselves and waited for it to come. Jaemin was the one who brought it out too when they were ready, even going as far as giving three small slices of chocolate cakes for each of you. He said it was on the house since he was glad to meet your friends.

"Thanks, Jae," you said before he left.

"He likes you," Jaehee chimed as soon as Jaemin was out of earshot. You shushed her but Yunseo joined in on the teasing.

"He does."

You rolled your eyes and sighed. "Jaemin is an old friend and he'd always been nice to me since high school."

"Then he must have liked you for a long time now! You sync so perfectly, even your wristwatch were same colors!" Yunseo pointed iut enthusiastically.

"How did you even catch the color of his watch?" you questioned, genuinely bewildered by her attention to detail.

Jaemin liking you was a ridiculous idea that you refused to entertain. But it lingered in your mind. As you went home, you wondered if Jaemin had always been that sweet and friendly. The answer was no. He was more of a subtle kind of friend, coming up with clever ways to make people feel special despite acting aloof most of the time. He must have gotten over his inexpressiveness and is now being openly nice and sweet to his friends.

To you, you thought he had always been aloof too. But he did make you feel his friendly affection in some ways.

Participants had an interview at your company on Monday and it was broadcasted live online. You were there as part of the PR team and you were closely monitoring interactions from viewers. Sure enough, a lot of people watched the Live, proving just how popular the chefs were. After that stint, Jaemin approached you for a favor.

"Anything within my powers," you quipped.

"How about coming over to the cafe to test new recipes?"

You had no plans tonight so you decided to agree. "Sure, but I'm not a food critic so I'm not sure if I can help."

"Can we come too?" asked Jaehee and only then did you realized that they were listening in.

Jaemin nodded. "Of course! I'd be happy to cater to you. But I can only take the three of you since the food is limited and I already have other guests coming."

"Oh no worries. We won't be bringing anyone else," Yunseo assured, pushing Woojin aside when he was passing by you.

They chatted for a bit while you quietly observed, a little embarrassed that Jaemin had to cater to extra guests when he already have other people coming. But you decided he was probably alright with it since he agreed to it.

The cafe across the street was closed when you arrived. Aside from the staff, there was no one else in the cafe and you found yourself asking Jaemin about his guests.

"Oh, they canceled. It was actually just a friend from culinary school and his girlfriend. They said it was an emergency and I knew better than ask," Jaemin explained. "I'm gonna go finish up in the kitchen. I should join you in a bit."

"Yeah, go ahead," your coworkers said.

When Jaemin left, Jaehee said, "It would have been awkward if only and Jaemin were here."

"Or romantic," Yunseo argued. "I bet he'd prefer that too."

"Right? He's so obvious! I can't even!" Jaehee gushed and you can only shake your head.

Obvious how? It's either you're blind to it or they're making a big deal out of nothing. Well, sure, there were times he would randomly say cheesy stuff but he never expounded on that and you assumed he had been joking each time. Other than that, you were sure Jaemin was just being his usual self. Jaehee and Yunseo wouldn't understand because they weren't the ones who were friends with Jaemin for a long time.

"Should we just give them the space?" Yunseo giggled.

"We should."

"Don't you dare." you threatened just as Jaemin was coming out of the kitchen.

He had got rid of his apron and you assumed he'll be joining you for dinner now. "Is the wine good?"

"It's impeccable. Good taste, Jaemin," Jaehee complimented but her eyes were on you when Jaemin sat on the vacant seat right next to you, then grabbed your glass to drink from it.

He must have noticed the way Yunseo and Jaehee were looking because he cleared his throat and put the glass down. "She doesn't like wine. She hasn't even touched it."

"Ah, I see," Yunseo said before shooting you a teasing look. "You seem to know a lot about her."

Jaemin shrugged and then smiled widely. "Well, she's an interesting person. Don't you think?"

Food came one by one and you thought the teasing would end there but Jaemin took it a notch when he would place food on your plate carefully each time. The knowing looks from your coworkers did not miss your eye but you just gestured for them to be quiet.

You started eating after thanking Jaemin and you noticed how he watched your faces for reactions before starting his own meal. Yunseo and Jaehee uttered alarmingly specific accounts about the food while you can only say it was great and flavorful.

"You're lucky we're here then. We're quite the food critic, you know," Yunseo joked.

"Yeah. Your interesting friend can literally offer nothing but an affirmative nod," Jaehee teased and you blushed because it was true.

"In my defense, you didn't tell me I need Michelin evaluator qualifications to be here," you ranted to Jaemin who just shook his head with a fond smile on his lips.

"No, not at all. I invited you here because I wanted you to try the food, not because I need you to critic me like I'm in Masterchef."

Yeonsu and Jaehee let out 'ooohs' and even whistled. Jaemin seemed proud and even encouraged the two girls but you weren't having it.

"Like a test animal?"

Leave it up to you to ruin a cute moment. Thank you.

There were more comments on the food with a few of your innocently worded inputs. Jaemin takes out another bottle of wine that you shared with casual conversations before it was time to go. Yeonsu and Jaehee left after Jaemin explicitly said you two can go home together since you live in the same building. You can already imagine the teasing you'll get the next day, but you just sighed. Jaemin noticed your dillemma as he poured more wine for himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked before taking a swig from his glass.

"Yeah, it's just... My coworkers think you like me or something," you began, trailing off on your words but he caught them just fine. "It's ridiculous, I know. But it's just because they don't know the kind of person you are, that's why they're saying those."

He tilted his head curiously. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

You were a bit taken aback by his question so you cleared your throat and straightened your back before replying. "Well, I think you're sweet and nice. Very gentlemanly and thoughtful too."

"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow at you.

You laughed derisively. "I knew you've always been nice since we were younger and even now, you're still considerate as ever. To Yunseo and Jaehee, they might think you're going the extra mile because you like me, but we both know you've always been a really good friend to everyone."

Jaemin straightened up and rested his back on the chair before sighing your name and glancing at you. "I'm not all that, you know."

"And you're very humble too," you chuckled, clinking your glass on his before taking a sip of your juice.

"It's the truth, y/n," he insisted. "I'm pretty laid back and didn't care much unless it involves me. And I'm the most passive when it came to friendly relations. I'd say I'm a considerate man, but mostly just for my friends."

"Well, maybe that's what you think. But me and all your other friends sure know you're a really great friend. I'd know because you were very considerate of me too," you affirmed, worried that he might think so lowly of himself when he is in fact a great guy.

Jaemin just chuckled. "You don't get it do you, y/n? I know myself better than anyone. And I'm pretty sure I tried going the extra mile just for you."

You fell quiet. He must have been drunk to be saying all of that. Or maybe you were and you're mind is playing tricks on you so you're hearing things in your head. But you wouldn't be able to confirm it because he fell asleep on the table all of a sudden and you realized he just emptied the wine bottle and now he's passed out drunk. And here you thought he had a high tolerance of alcohol.

Luckily, a staff was still cleaning in the kitchen and he helped you take Jaemin to your car so you can drive him home. It wasn't your best idea, and you knew you won't be able to carry him up the building, but you drove home anyway.

You tried waking Jaemin when you reached the parking lot and he stirred in his seat, blinking as he focused his gaze on his surroundings. He glanced sideways at you and flashed the biggest smile you have ever seen from him. "You're very pretty."

"Thanks, I know that. Now come on, let's get you to bed."

He was basically zombie-walking at the hallways but you're happy that he can still walk so you just held him in place. You could tell he was terribly sleepy by the way his head would fall suddenly.

"Here we are. Can you enter your passcode?" you asked slowly, making sure he can hear you. With a drunk smile he reached for the door and started entering his passcode but he can't hit the right keys.

"Damn, why are the numbers dodging," he laughed before trying again. He kept going at it but he just couldn't get it right even as he shool his head aggressively in his attempt to sober up.

After several annoyed huffs from you, he laughingly pressed his nose on the side of your head and whispered the passcode before falling limp on your hold.

You were dumbfounded for a second, cradling Jaemin while you processed your thoughts. You tried to brush off the heat that resulted from the sudden contact and hurriedly entered his passcode. You couldn't even remember where you got the strength to drag him to his sofa and leave him there, but you were glad that you finally did. He mumbled incoherrently but you were too focused on the warmth on your ear that you just stormed out of his unit and hid into yours.

Jaemin woke up in a daze, blinking as the sun shone through the open curtains of his big windows. He recognized his living room, and wondered why he wasn't in his room. He massaged his aching temple and rose from his uncomfortable position on the sofa and then groaned in disgust upon realizing he had slept in his outside clothes. Struggling with a head ache and feeling disgusted by his own smell, he dunked an advil in the bathroom and took a shower.

He recalled being at the cafe with you and your coworkers. Then he remembered how he finished an entire bottle and blacked out. He had bits of memories scattered in place as well as one where he openly told you you were pretty. He smiled idiotically at the memory, drying his hair with a towel as he downed a whole bottle of hangover tonic. He now remembered that you took him home and feels sorry for the trouble but he just can't stop smiling, especially after the doorbell rang and he saw your face in the monitor.

He cleared his throat first and kept a straight face before opening the door to greet you. You handed a small bottle of hangover drink to him.

You weren't look at him straight and he can even tell you were annoyed by the way your brows are knitted together. "You must be hungover. Tou were so drunk last night."

Jaemin didn't have it in him to refuse even after he had just finished a bottle of the same tonic. Besides, he's just happy to see you this early. "Thank you. Oh, and I'm sorry about last night. I don't usually get drunk but that wine was a fairly new addition to theh menu. I had no idea it would be that strong."

You glanced at him briefly before looking away again. You didn't even move your head. "You finished an entire bottle by yourself, Jaemin. Surely you figured you'd get drunk?"

"Yeah, I did but it wasn't my intention really. Thanks for taking me home."

"Don't mention it. You did cook some delicious food for us, and it was free so this is nothing."

"If I wasn't a businessman, I wouldn't charge you for anything at all," Jaemin grinned, eyes shifting on your clothes and he realized that you were already dressed for work. "Do you need a ride? I'm going over there today."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "You left your car in Apgujeong."

"Oh shit, I did, didn't I?"

You just scoffed. "I can give you a lift but I'm running late so..."

"There's no need. Thanks for the offer."

"Okay, bye," you turned to leave and Jaemin panicked so he called your name. When you glanced back, he was unsure of what to say. In his mind, he was trying to find a good reason to be alone with you again.

Should he invite you over to the cafe again? No, he already did that. Maybe dinner? Just the two of you? Wouldn't it be too forward? How about coffee? Nah, you get coffee everyday.

"What is it, Jaemin?"

Your voice pulled him out of his musings. "Nothing. Have fun at work."

You chuckled. "Thanks. You too."

You bade him goodbye and he reluctantly waved at you then watched your back disappear into the elevator. Maybe next time, after all, he agreed to take one step at a time.

You expected Yunseo and Jaehee to tease you at work and they didn't disappoint. So now you're explaining to them how you two happened to just live in the same building. Yunseo was gushing about destiny but you laughed at her absurdity, then you remembered the way he whispered in your ear and felt your face flare. You saw him that morning and he seemed perky like always so you thought he must have no recollection of it. The Jaemin you knew would apologize for behaving inappropriately, especially in a drunken state. You decided it was best to keep it to yourself rather than bring it up and make things awkward. It was an accident, you're sure of it. Jaemin doesn't even seem to remember that.

The fact that you didn't see Jaemin at all for the next three days didn't help erase the memory of his lips on the side of your head. Why? Because his pictures are in every pubmat you were making, it actually felt more like you were seeing him at all times. You now share your team leader's wish that you had a different person for the layouts and pubmats. He might have wanted it for efficiency, but you wanted it just so you can stop staring at Jaemin's handsome face.

The competition broadcast came. You sat on a desk behind the filming crew, where you will be monitoring the comments and interactions on the live broadcast. The chefs arrived after a short trip to the styling room and you liked how Jaemin looked in his chef uniform and the apron that bore his cafe's logo on the chest. You knew this was a leap in his career since he only ever got photographed by customers instead of actually using his visuals to promote himself. If it was a PR stunt, then you'd think he was smart enough to have branded himself a humble, handsome chef who relies on talent rather than his looks. But knowing him, you knew it was all a spontaneous occurence that just happened to go on his favor.

The mini competition started and while you tried to be neutral as a staff member, you couldn't help rooting for Jaemin. Two of the chefs were influencers with a fanbase. Jaemin was the only one who didn't capitalize on his physical appearance and as a PR person, you'd say he was dumb for that but as his friend, you respected him for it. Then again, more people were drawn to the mysterious 'It boy' who appears on the regular but kept a low profile from the internet.

The live would go on for more than an hour since the challenge was to whip up a gourmet dish in less that 45 minutes. After getting the judges to taste the dishes, Chef Jisook ended up winning the grand price, with Jaemin trailing behind her after receiving praise for his fusion dish that 'redefined Korean cuisine'.

After the filming wrapped up, Jaemin found you in the pool of busy people and skipped over to you with a big smile. "The CEO offered to have me in one episode of the cooking show."

"That's great! Good for you!" you cheered, nudging his elbow with yours. "That's because you're so talented.

The cooking show was an online thing that the company regularly does. It has a steady following and does well to promote the brand and the guests that stars in it are usually famous chefs and celebrities. Being on that show would surely catapult Jaemin's name and brand. You were telling Jaemin all that as he drove his car to one of his cafes.

You caught him smiling at you like he was staring at you rather than listening so you stopped talking.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Because you stopped," you replied, looking outside to see where you parked. Jaemin said there's no need to rush but you shrugged and got off the car first. He followed soon after and you immediately spotted your common friends inside the building.

You ran inside to greet your friends and explicitly noted how Seola is still with Minho. You said he must be doing the right thing since he's still around.

"Excuse me, my man is not a cheat," Seola defended, wrapping an arm around Minho's waist. "As a matter fact, we're getting married."

"You are?" you exclaimed, covering your mouth in surprise.

Seola was satisfied with your reaction. "Yes. Why do you think we're gathered today? It's because Minho proposed to me the other day."

"Oh my god," you said, pulling her into a hug.

Hyuck was chuckling on your side. "He's trying to race with Jeno."

"No, I'm not!" Seola insisted, glaring at the guy. "It was a spontaneous decision."

Everyone disagreed because you all know that if the opposite of spontaneous is a person, it would be Seola.

"It's not, but we had been talking about it after Seola said she wanted to get maried before thirty," Minho confessed. "We wanted children and getting pregnant after thirty is risky so the sooner, the better. We are financially stable and in love, so what's stopping there to stop us?"

"Yeah, well, I hope you don't end up getting divorced," Heejin jeered and instantly received a glare from Seola.

"Why are you cursing us already? You're mean," Seola pouted, hiding behind Minho.

You understood where she was coming from, after all, you have thought about the same thing before. You planned to get married before thirty when you were younger. Even today, you're still considering it. You still have four years before that, but that too could be considered a short time. And of course, you are yet to find a match who is worth spending the rest of your life with. Divorce is never an option for you.

Your eyes found Jaemin's. He had been staring and you caught him, but instead of looking away, he held your gaze with reassurance and some kind of comfort that you didn't quite understand the purpose of but you still appreciated. For some reason, you thought maybe you can consider him. That is if he was serious about what he had been implying these past few days—that he liked you before and he likes you now.

Jeno soon arrived with his fiancee and you were all happy to meet her at last. The night continued and you even got to bring up how Jaemin almost won the cooking competition. Hyuck said he saw it and watched it from start to finish.

"Donghyuck, why are you so interested in everybody's business?" Seola joked and only when she brought that up did you realize that Hyuck was indeed interested in everybody's business.

"It's because I love all of you, dumbasses," Hyuck announced, even standing up to raise his glass.

Everyone in the table cheered in agreement. Who's to say he was lying? None of you could ever because you all know it was Donghyuck who was always checking in on each of you, always making plans to meet, and keeping the friendship alive. Donghyuck is the foundation of this friend group.

You went out for some fresh air after hiurs of sitting there with your friends, laughing and going through bottles and bottles of alcohol. You were trying to sober up a bit and you were wondering if you should go home. Jeno joined you a little later, breathing in the cool air as he tucked his hands in his jacket.

"Hey," he greeted in a prolonged manner.

"Hey," you smiled back at him. "Congratulations again, by the way. She's such a lovely woman."

"I know," he chuckled. "I got lucky."

You just smiled, taking in more of the night air. The streets were bright but it wasn't as busy as it was earlier that night. You started thinking that going home would be smooth without any traffic.

"It's been so long since we last talked to each other," he pointed out and you nodded. Although he was present at your father's funeral several months ago, he didn't get the chance to say anything to you other than utter his condolences. "I wish I could hang out with all of you more often. On the rare times that I could, it's mostly just with Jaemin and Donghyuck."

"Well, you got busy and I had a lot of things going on in my life too, so..."

"Yeah, you're right," he chuckled. "At least we get to hang out like this. I'm sure I'll get more chance to meet everyone once I'm married. You know, I can worry less about being in public and live a more like any ordinary person."

"Good for you, then," you chimed. "And I'm happy for you. We all are."

"Thank you. Will you come to my wedding? It's in three weeks and the invitations hasn't been sent out yet but I'm inviting you in advance."

"I think I might," you said sheepishly. You were joking about going to his wedding with Jaemin, but now that he's inviting you, you felt shy all of a sudden. It would feel normal if you had kept in contact with him like the rest of your friends, but a long time has passed without any interaction between you. You were wondering if you should be there at all.

"You know, I told Jaemin I'd invite you and he said you don't need a card because you can go as his plus one." You scowled at Jeno upon hearing that.

"He said that?"

Jeno just shrugged and nodded. You imagined being Jaemin's plus one and wondered how the two guys came to a conclusion that you would just agree on it. But then again, you had no reason to disagree or even refuse to go with Jaemin. It's not like you would hate to go with him. In fact, it would be fun to go with either Jaemin or Hyuck. "Is that why he brought it up before?"

"Maybe. You can go together, you know. You look great together. If I didn't know better, I'd assume you were dating because of the way your clothes don't match but kinda matched. Your vibes are just syncing effortlessly. It's adorable."

His implication was loud and clear but you just laughed it off. "I'll be there. Maybe as Jaemin's plus one, or maybe not. But I'll be there. You wouldn't let your first love miss the best day of your life, would you?"

Jeno laughed heartily and you felt proud about making a good joke. "Of course, my first love can't miss my wedding. You better prepare a hefty cash gift."

"Look at this chaebol ripping peoplenoff," you ridiculed.

"We're spending quite a lot on that wedding. Pay us back."

"Ugh, now I'm rethinking if I should go or not."

Jeno laughed, glancing back to the cafe when his fiancee called his name. "I'm kidding. You better be there, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively shooing him away but he was already running back to the cafe.

As you watched, you saw Jaemin make his way towards you. You were feeling drowsy, but you stayed standing as you waited for him to reach you. Then when he was within your reach, you said, "I heard you needed a date for the wedding and you picked me."

Jaemin chuckled, his cheeks a bit flush due to alcohol. "Nah, I'm pretty sure you're the one who's gonna do the picking because Hyuck is also dateless."

"Ah, so I still get to make the decision. Good to know."

"If you choose me, I'll pay the wedding gift for you," Jeamin challenged and you nodded, showing an expression that tells him you were considering it.

"Tempting. But I'll have to see what Hyuck is willing to wager."

"Probably a dress. I heard him say, but I'm pretty confident you'd like me more."

You scoffed. "Now I want to pick him just to spite you."

Jaemin fake heart attack and you just scoffed loudly as he pretended to fall over. He laughingly stood up. "Come on. Don't be mean to me."

"Stop copying my style! People are starting to think we're dating," you chided, but he just shrugged.

"It's either we both have good taste or stores are just selling the same colors everywhere."

You laughed as you both walked back to the cafe. Your friends soon left and as usual, you and Jaemin decided to go home together. The cafe was near the condo and you were both a little drunk so you decided to just walk there. You were clutching your bag clumsily as you staggered on the sidewalk so Jaemin offered his arm for you to hold on to and you latched on it like your life depended on it, uttering a soft 'thanks'. You felt steadier like that and warmer with his body close to yours. For a while you just walked quietly before he started asking questions.

"How's your mom?" he asked, adding, "Mine told me they went to a spa last week."

You grinned. "Yeah mine said the same thing. She's doing great. She still refused to leave town or sell the house, insisting that Dad's memory lived there. I'd love for the house to remain there too but I'm worried about her being alone."

"You can always visit her. It's not that far."

"Right. I should visit more often."

Jaemin sighed. "What about work? Anything new?"

"Not really. The anniversary events are what keeps me busy these days. Other than the cooking show today, there's nothing noteworthy." You fished your phone from your bag when it started ringing. It was Heejin and you answered it right away. "Hi. Did you get home alright?"

"Yes, but this thing won't work," she grumbled and you couldn't see what's going on but you could hear her frustration in her voice.

"What is it?"

"My passcode. I forgot my passcode. My house is threatening to lock me out."

"It's 112799," you told her, rolling your eyes and silently judging her for forgetting it each time she gets drunk.

"Thanks," she muttered before hanging up. You just grimaced at the phone before chucking it back into your purse.

"Heejin?"

"Yeah, she forgot her passcode. It happens all the time."

Jaemin nodded. "It's amazing how you stayed close all these years."

"We literally grew up together. I'd say we don't have a choice," you said in faked indifference. It made Jaemin laugh. "I'm kidding. She's my sister from another mother. My apartment was actually her cousin's. She hooked me up with her and I was able to rent it for a good price."

"Isn't it amazing how out of all the apartments in Seoul, and all the floors in that building, we ended being neighbours?" he asked and you nodded, unconsciously nuzzling closer to him when the wind blew.

"I know. It's a small world."

"No, it's actually a big world. A huge one. It's actually fate that brings things to cross paths at one point. Like an invisible string. In our case, our paths crossed so much that we became a part of each other's lives and by extension, a small part of each other."

You giggled. "It's beautiful how you worded things. You could be a poet." You saw him smile shyly at the compliment but then you added. "Yunseo has a nice way with words too. You two would get along well."

"We already get along."

"Yeah, but like, in a romantic way. She likes you and she actually asked me to set you up together. You should go out sometime," you were blabbering so much and didn't even notice that Jaemin has stopped walking. You were holding on to him so you were forced to stop too. He took your arm off of his and took a few steps away. "What? It's true Yunseo likes you. She told me herself. I'm not just randomly making decisions for her."

"No, but you're making decisions for me," he said pointedly and the annoyed look on his face made you shy.

"Sorry. Alcohol unzipped my mouth."

"So you're saying it because you're drunk? You're not serious about setting me up with another girl?"

While you were confused about the purpose of the question, you still replied. "No, not really. I think I just said it because I have nothing else to say."

"Good because I'm not interested in anyone else."

His words confused you but you knew deep it inside that the message was clear. He is interested in you. Yet you told yourself that your drunk mind is giving you false signals. When you realized he stopped right in front of your building so you pointed at it and started skipping to the entrance. Jaemin just followed you with an absent-minded smile.

You rarely bumped into Jaemin in the building because obviously, your schedules are different. When you do, it is often at the elevator which is still rare. Today just decided to be different. You stepped out of your unit at the same time and you had no excuse to avoid getting in the elevator with him. He didn't spare your conflicted feelings and you were sure it was because he had no idea you were even conflicted in the first place. Especially after he said, "I finally caught you. Sometimes I try to leave earlier or a little later just to see if we'd bump into each other but we never did. It's been like four months since you moved here but we barely saw each other."

"We see each other a lot actually," you laughed after pointing that out.

"I know but I meant here in the building."

"You're right." You separate ways quickly, getting into your car as soon as you spotted it in the parking lot and running off with a hurried goodbye.

To say you escaped was an understatement but you had to if you want to stop thinking about things that would make your friendship weird. Unbeknownst to you, Jaemin was on his own league of making sure you see each other at least once a day.

You walked in to Nana's Cafe confidently on a Tuesday, knowing he won't be there. But Jaemin's radiant smile welcomed you, accompanied by a nice piece of heart-shaped cookie. When you refused to go to the cafe on a Wednesday, he dropped by your office to hand-deliver lunch. You avoided going to the cafe at all but you found him outside your office building waiting for you to get off work. On the weekend, he knocked on your door early to give you a cup of warm coffee. It went on for days and you had gotten used to the teasing from your coworkers and the assumptions about him being your boyfriend. You wanted several times to confront him but you didn't want to be the first to bring it up, after all, you're still arguing with yourself that he is just being a nice friend like usual. But it doesn't help that the text messages that previously looked like a food promotion chatbox is now filled with selfies of him with updates on what he's doing that day.

"Oh my god. I knew it. He likes you," Heejin announced clapping her hands triumphantly. You had invited her and Seola over after days of taking unsolicited but appreciate advices from Yunseo and Jaehee. You never shared your part of the story with them because you don't think you're close enough for it. So you decided to seek Heejin and Seola and pour your heart out to them.

"But he didn't say that," you insisted.

"He was showing it. You know Jaemin. He prefers showing his feelings more than talking about them," Seola pointed out so you crossed your arms over your chest and turned to her.

"If he can say all these fancy things and subtle hints about liking me, I think he can very well say he likes me straight to my face," you retorted then Heejin and Seola comically nodded in unison.

"That makes sense. How about talking to him about it?"

You scowled. "What? Like confront him?"

"Yeah."

"No. I can't. I don't want to. Confrontations scare me."

"Then maybe telling you he likes you straight to your face scares him too. You can't just think about yourself in this situation, y/n," Seola insinuated and it made sense so you slumped on your sofa, face first.

"Maybe he really likes you, you know. He could be in love with you too. It's not so strange to think about. You're a catch, don't you realize that?"

"Heejin's right. You're gorgeous. You're smart. You're cute too and you're very caring. Your sense of humor is not that great but you're fun to talk to. Also, although I know he doesn't care about money at all, you're rich and your family background is impressive. Any man would fall for you."

Maybe the idea wasn't so far fetched. Despite your every attempt to deny it, Jaemin really did show you he liked you even before what happened on the day of Seola's dinner party. He would give you a compliment and a cookie with your coffee. He messaged you everyday and would send you weather updates every morning. When you met outside the building, he always offered to give you a ride even when he knew you have your own car. He had always acted like that and only now are you seeing every sign, clear as day and you can't ignore them. He likes you enough to put in this much effort for you. It keeps repeating in your head. Jaemin likes you.

"What are you so worried for? Don't you like Jaemin?" Heejin asked.

Come to think about it, don't you? You liked his smile. You like how warm it makes you feel and how familiar he seemed to you. You liked hanging out with him, laughing and fooling around and making fun of strangers secretly with him. Ever since you got here, you shared all the good things that happened to you with Jaemin. Now looking back, it seems Jaemin had always been a part of everything that happened to you, good or bad. It's just like the invisible string he mentioned. Except that you have both became a part of each other's life; a piece of each other.

"Does Na Jaemin really like me? Like for real?" you mumbled to yourself, your mind drifting off to more thoughts of him. "Because if he does, don't you think he's too good for me? His smile is so pretty. He's very talented and he's a good cook. Damn, even his laughter is beautiful. His voice, the lines on his cheeks when he grins, the way he's always warm when I'm near him. The way he always cared for my comfort. The way he consistently took care of me and even went out of his way several times for me. He's too good to be true."

Seola and Heejin chuckled before clinking their shotglasses together and taking shots of soju. "She likes him."

You buried your face on your palms and let out a strained shriek. "I think I do."

To top it off, you can’t even talk about it to Minji, considering that she thinks you’re already going out with him.

After the disastrous call that occurred between you and Chan that particular afternoon, you’d kept your phone on silent and hadn’t dared check your messages for fear of what you’d find there. It’s been two days since and you’re busy frying eggs for breakfast when the sound of your ringtone — sounding eerily ghostly in the silence of the flat — breaks through like an alarm, causing you to flinch.

You check the caller ID, before quickly pressing onto the green button and placing the device at your ear, “hey Minji.”

“Good morning sunshine, so I’ve heard you and Chan have been having a little fight?”

“What?” Your voice comes out a little louder than expected and you try to tone it down when you ask, “what are you talking about?”

“Oh don’t act innocent Y/N, I saw Chan in Chem today and he looked like his dog died or something. It was obvious something was wrong,” she says and you picture her rolling her eyes, “what happened?”

“Nothing happened,” you say firmly, hoping that it will be enough to persuade her in leaving Chan alone, “he’s just having a hard time because of exams. You know how stressed out he can get.”

Minji hums, “shouldn’t you help him out? He looks like shit.”

“I have,” you lie smoothly. The lies come out so easily now, it’s been such a long time since you’ve been truthful to her. A pang of guilt hits you straight in the chest.

“How about bringing him along to Eunchae’s christmas party? She’s a classmate of mine and she’s throwing one at her flat complex because her roomies won’t be here this weekend. That might cheer him up.”

Eunchae? Not that Eunchae, surely?

“I don’t think I know her.”

“Chan might, we’re in the same Industrial Design class.”

Oh. Well. That explains everything. Of course you don’t want to show your face there. Nor do you think Chan will.

“I’ll talk to him,” you hurriedly say and quickly end the call so as not to sprout any more lies. Then, opening your messaging app after what seems to be an eternity, you scroll down your list of contacts until you click on Chan’s name.

Y/N: sup bro.

Sounds innocent enough right? You can almost imagine that nothing had happened these past two days.

Taking your eggs out of the frying pan, you lay them neatly atop your two slices of toast before heading over to the tiny dining table in the corner. As you sit down, a notification pops up. Chan’s reply.

Chan: ???

Chan: I’m confused…

Y/N: About what?

Chan: are you secretly stalking me?

Y/N: …now I’m confused.

Chan: open the door.

Y/N: ???????

On cue, the doorbell rings and the sound makes you jump, yelping slightly as you do so. Talk about coincidence.

“Hi,” Chan grins at you when you open the door, not seeming at all upset by what had transpired two days ago. Not that you’re going to remind him. It’s none of his business, after all.

“Not to be rude or anything but isn’t it a bit early for you to be here?” You ask when you glance at the clock that reads nine in the morning. Knowing Chan’s bad habit of playing till the sunrise on days he doesn’t have any lectures, it’s quite a surprise to see that he’s up and functional so early in the morning.

But you regret it the moment the words slip past your lips, for Chan’s face suddenly takes on a color so red you might think he’s gotten sunburnt in the span of a few seconds.

You don’t have to put two and two together.

“I was…uhm…I was talking to Eunchae.” He hurriedly adds, as if to make up for his pathetic excuse, “about our chem assignment from last week—“

“Oh cut the crap Chan,” you interrupt him quite rudely, plopping yourself down at the table before resuming your breakfast as you motion for him to serve himself, “were you on a date?”

“I—uh—well, no. We were—studying together. Yeah.”

You scowl and he quickly goes to grab a mug to evade your stare.

“So,” you ask while he pours himself some coffee, “so why are you here then? Isn’t it a bit rude to ditch your real girlfriend for your fake one?”

“I actually wanted to see how my best friend was doing,” he shoots you a pointed look over the rim of his mug, “and like I said, it wasn’t a—a date.”

“You’ve seen me. Happy now?”

“Wow, what is up your butt today?”

“Nothing,” you look away, clear your throat, “nothing at all. Just—“

You break off without saying anything more and the silence is enough to cover whatever excuse you were going to come up with. The argument from a few days ago rings in the back of your mind and you wonder whether he’s as tormented about the topic of discussion as you are.

Oh, who are you kidding? He’s been on a date this morning. Clearly he knows exactly what he’s doing. Ad not feeling bad about it in the slightest.

And why should he? It’s not like you’re really dating!

“Hey,” it’s not his voice, but the touch of his fingers along your face. You blink, only to see him tucking a few stray strands behind the curve of your ear. An action he’s come to become familiar with from that last date. Still, it’s surprising, considering that Chan has never been so fond of touching other people.

“You wanna talk about what happened that night?”

Your eyes slip from his face to your empty plate. Something knots in the middle of your stomach. No.

“Nothing happened that night,” comes your mumble.

You feel him shift, and then, a soft lingering touch along the side of your arm. His shoulder, pressing into yours.

He’s warm. Warmer than you’ve expected.

A surge of comfort rises in the grooves of your chest.

“It really wasn’t a date, if you must know,” Chan’s mumble feels like a hundred knives pricking into your skin, “we were just working. Really—“

”I don’t care Chan,” you chortle.

He blinks at you, “Okay,” he drags out the word, then continues, “can I ask you something then?”

“What?”

“Why were you so upset that night? When I told you she liked me?”

“I wasn’t upset.”

He looks at you as if saying really? And unconsciously, your hands start moving around the cutlery along the plate; crossing them, uncrossing them. Crossing them.

“Okay fine, maybe I was.”

“What for?”

And that is when you give him a wan smile, “nothing that you should worry about, Chan. It’s girl things.”

“Don’t patronize me. That won’t scare me away like when I was younger.”

“Aw man, that used to work all the time,” memories of you taunting Chan about your period and the amount of blood drenching the toilet suddenly flickers through your mind, causing a small smile to dangle upon your lips, “but really, there’s no need to worry. I’m fine now.”

As much as you want to kick up a fuss about slowly losing your best friend to someone else, it wouldn’t be fair to the other girl for you to suddenly sprout your feelings out loud when he’s just gotten confessed to, especially when this is probably the first time since forever since he’s gotten a shot at normal dating life.

Who are you to interfere with his happiness?

“By the way, speaking of Eunchae,” you tell him right when he’s about to leave. Currently shoving his feet into his sneakers, he looks up at you, lips parted and in that particular moment, you feel you might kiss him.

“Uhm,” thoughts scramble as you try to stammer your way out of this sudden knot of flustered embarrassment, “will you be going to her party?”

“You’re invited?” He frowns.

“Y-Yeah. Minji invited me.”

Chan straightens then, body looming over yours and causing you to tilt your head up and— has he always been taller than you were? Your eyes flicker down to the arm slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Veins.

Oh, beautiful. You quickly snap your gaze away, “so, are you coming or not?”

“Are you?”

“Probably.”

“Then I’m coming,” a lopsided smile breaks cross his face, “can’t let my girlfriend go alone now, can I?”

Your heart stutters for a beat.

Your mouth opens, closes, then opens again. Speechless.

Chan merely chuckles before reaching over to ruffle your hair, “alright, see you tomorrow.”

“Bye,” you say blankly, not realizing that he’s gone until he’s halfway down the hall. It is only then that you manage to shake yourself out of this sudden reverie.

You quickly slam both hands cross your cheeks in growing irritation. Get a grip, Y/N! What is wrong with you?!

Girlfriend. He’d called you his girlfriend.

Not for long. But long enough.

——

You immediately feel like running away the moment you step through Eunchae’s apartment door.

The doorway is lit up with Christmas garlands — red and green and gold — partnered with fairy lights glimmering in welcome as you step through only to bump into someone’s back. The place is packed, god knows Eunchae is one of the popular kids at school, being one of the top pianists to be majoring in both music and science. The space is compact but open, with the kitchen on your far right separated by an island decorated in black and white marble. To your left is a spacious living room filled decked with vast couches of white-colored leather, on which sit a crowd of people engrossed currently engrossed in the Super Mario competition going on, shouts and jeers filling the air at intervals.

Regret pools inside your stomach and makes your mouth go dry. Maybe you should turn back, after all. You barely know this girl—

“Y/N!”

Shit. Too late. You swivel, coming face to face with none other than Minji. She beams at you, sparkly silver dress and heels to match, her face dolled up like a beauty pageant. She looks stunning.

“Hi,” you lean into the big hug she gives you, “there’s so many people here.”

“Yeah, Eunchae is a bit of a social butterfly. Let’s go say hello!” And before you can protest that maybe you should get a drink first, Minji is already tugging you along through the throng of bodies as the beats echo through the walls, seeming to come from the outside terrace.

“Eunchae!” Minji quickly directs herself towards a pretty girl with dyed blonde hair and a pretty smile who had been deep in conversation with one of the jocks that you recognized as Minho’s friend Seungmin, “hi! Thanks for inviting me!”

“Oh hey Minji, you made it!” Eunchae greets her back with a one-armed hug, then glancing over to you and grinning, “thanks for coming. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Y/N, you probably know her. She’s Chan’s best friend.”

“Oh!” Something lights up in Eunchae’s eyes, “so you’re the Y/N he keeps talking about. Lovely to finally meet you!”

You shake her hand, glad her fake nails aren’t piercing through your skin at this rate, “likewise,” you force a smile, knowing full well why Chan might be in love with her. You would be too, if you were a guy. She’s everything anyone has ever asked for.

Pretty, gorgeous, friendly…and most of all, a perfect fit for Chan.

“You haven’t gotten any drinks yet,” she remarks, grinning coyly before pointing at the marble counter on the far right, “please, go help yourselves. There’s everything but water.”

You find yourself cracking a smile, even chuckling a little as you raise a hand at her, “thanks, will try to find something drinkable.”

The party is now in full swing. Jeering, shouting, music blasting from the speakers and reverberating through your skull. With a glass of whisky and coke in hand, Minji doesn’t hesitate to drag you to the dance floor and together, you start swaying. The air smells of alcohol and sweat but you find you don’t quite mind, not when you’re busy enjoying the way the beats swim through your bloodstream as the alcohol takes over logic and reason.

At some point you feel a pair of hands fluttering over your hips. Turning with a scowl at the ready — and a fist curled just in case — you’re surprised to find that it’s Chan. But not Chan.

He’s gazing down at you in amusement, corner of his lips tilted and an eyebrow raised as if to as you what in the world you were doing. But he’s ditched the glasses and his hair is gelled up. His black t-shirt is fitted and the jean jacket he’s thrown over it subtly emphasizes the breadth of his shoulders.

You can’t help but suck in a breath. He looks gorgeous.

Instead you blurt out, “you’re late!”

“My bad,” Chan yells over the music and though it’s definitely not Chan behaviour to be touching you so casually, you actually don’t mind savoring his touch a little more and you lean in closer, slightly closer as he adds, “if it helps, Minho was the one who was late. I had to wait for him for thirty minutes.”

You chortle, rolling your eyes and take another sip of your drink, “d’you want one?” You wiggle it towards your best friend.

“Nah,” he shakes his head, nose wrinkling and you swear something clenches in your heart when he does that, “I’ll pass.”

“Weakling.”

He jabs you playfully in the ribs and you giggle, slinging an arm around his shoulder before dragging him to the dance floor. Minji appears a few seconds later with Minho in tow, hips swinging and with a smile so big it might tear her face apart as she hangs onto her boyfriend like he’s the only source of physical support. The act makes you turn away, gulp down the rest of your drink in hopes that it would take away the itch in your heart.

At some point in the evening you find yourself on the couch competing against complete strangers turned into friends, shouting as you urge your car to go fastest, dodging bananas and throwing your head back in laughter as the boy beside you received a red tortoise shell.

“Shit!” He buries his face into the pillow on his lap, “ugh! That’s it, I’m dead!”

You whoop in glee when the finish line appears on your screen, “And I won!”

“You’re just lucky,” he grumbles. Then, after a few beats of hesitation, reaches his hand out to you, “I’m Felix.”

“Y/N,” you shake his hand with a grin, “so I take it Mario Kart isn’t your forte?”

“You’re the one who probably rigged the game.”

“Oh I did not!” You gasp mockingly, “you’re accusing me right now?”

“Don’t lie to me, I saw the way your eyebrows were wriggling when we were playing.”

“Oh so I’m a witch now?”

He can’t help but laugh, “have we met before?”

“Not that I know of. I’m from the landscape architect major,” you lean back against the couch as someone else asks for the remote. You toss it to them before turning back to Felix, noticing the flecks of golden brown scattered across his face, “and you?”

“Bio-Chem.”

You throw your hands in the air, “why is everyone in Bio-Chem?!”

“Maybe because it’s the most popular major that our university offers?”

You shoot him a look, rising up from your seat to stretch, “I’m going to get a drink. You want something?”

“I’ll come with you.”

You make your way to the kitchen after having pushed through the crowd of people — it seems they keep increasing every hour — and it isn’t until you reach the kitchen counter that you spot Chan and Eunchae flirting, heads close together and giggling like sickly school children. It makes you want to hurl something.

Felix, unaware of your conflicted feelings, calls out, “hey Chan, man! Long time no see.”

“Hey,” Chan starts to grin, only for it to fall flat the moment his eyes find yours. Instantly, a frown clouds his brows, “you okay, Y/N?”

“Never been better,” you all but snarl, pushing past his figure to get to the fridge. You grab a new bottle of coke, pour yourself some. Grab the vodka to fill it up to the brim, the drink sizzling like a potion.

“You drunk?” Chan’s question throws you off guard. Spinning around to see him, a scowl imprints itself on your face, “not that it’s your business. But no, I’m not drunk. Thanks for asking.”

You don’t wait for your best friend to say anything else. Grabbing Felix’s elbow and pulling the said man out of the kitchen, you keep on walking until you’re finally out onto the terrace and the cool wind gently caresses your face, causes your hair to tickle your cheeks, cool them down. It’s a stark contrast to the heat along the back of your neck.

You hadn’t noticed it but Felix’s eyes are straying over your features, searching them as though you’re a puzzle he’s trying to decipher.

“You okay?” He finally yells out over the music, “you look like you’re gonna be sick.”

“I’m fine,” you force a smile. Then, you make a grab for his hand and tug him towards the dance floor, “come on!” You try to add some cheerfulness into your voice, “I want to dance!”

The hours easily slip by when you lose yourself into the music once more. You can almost ignore the small hole that’s slowly spreading across your chest every time Chan’s face flashes through your mind. Chugging drink after drink, you allow yourself to be woozy, to get drunk in an attempt to forget. You don’t want to think any more. You don’t want to hurt anymore.

So you keep on dancing. Dancing even if your feet hurt. Even if your heart is breaking.

Dancing even when Felix says goodbye because he has to go home.

It is only when a hand encloses itself around your arm that you whip around.

“What?!” You snap a little too harshly into Chan’s face, causing him to wince.

“You’re drunk<“ he says simply while dragging you out of the dance floor, “come on—“

“Let me go!” You’re turning and twisting against him, but he pays you no mind and that infuriates you even more. Hot tears start burning at the corner of your eyes as you keep on tugging at his grip, hating the way he thinks he can force you to see him when he’s the last thing you wish for at this very moment.

But Chan is too strong for you to compete, dragging you all the way to the bathroom before closing the door with a satisfied click.

Your body slumps against the closed toilet lid as a tired ache spreads through your calves, your legs. You’re tired. You’ve been dancing for god knows how long.

“What do you want?” You try not to slur your words. They come out slurred anyway, it’s easier said than done.

Chan lets out a soft sigh. He crouches before you so that his face becomes level with yours, and in his eyes you notice the concern swimming through those maroon pupils, hating the way it causes warmth to spread through your chest.

You look away, “stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t know what to do with me.”

“I really don’t know what to do with you,” he shakes his head, “why are you angry at me?”

“I’m not angry at you.”

“So what are you? Why are you looking at me like that?”

The words scratch your throat like sandpaper. But you blurt them out anyway, “because I can’t stand seeing you flirt with that Eunchae girl. It pisses me off—“

“So you’re jealous? Is that what it’s about?”

“I’m not jealous—“

“Then what is it? I don’t get it Y/N—”

“I don’t get it either!” You yell out with such emotion it makes him take a breath. A sob escapes your mouth, the words broken along your tongue, “I have no fucking clue and it’s fucking with my head! And I’m so tired! I’m so tired of—“

Your words drown in mid-yelp when Chan’s hands cradle your face, pull you in, to crash his lips to yours.

You gasp, wriggling in his hold; this is all going to end badly—

But his lips follow yours like a magnet, kissing your next set of words away as they dissolve upon your lips.

He’s warm. His kiss is warmer, lighting a fire inside your stomach and making you all but melt into him with a soft sigh.

Chan tilts his head, mouth slanting even more intimately against yours as your nose brushes his. It’s intoxicating, the way his lips move against yours like water currents finding a rhythm, the way his hands slide to your hips to grip them in place, rooting you to his chest.

A shudder runs through you, hands sliding up to the back of his head. A small moan echoes from the back of his throat, he kisses you deeper, tongue gently sliding out to run along your lips.

You part for him like warm butter and a wanton breath falls from your mouth the moment his wet muscle meets yours in a dance, an unfamiliar one, but not unwelcome. You can’t help but grip him tighter to you, tilting your head to match his rhythm, him pulling you so close you’re almost tumbling onto his lap.

You swear your entire brain is filled with fireworks, sparks exploding left, right and center as he keeps kissing you like his life is about to end, like you’re never going to see each other again. He kisses, you note, like a man starved of oxygen and he’s suddenly found an addictive source. Like a man on drugs.

You’re so entangled with each other that you’re not sure where your bodies end and begin, limbs entwined like barks on a tree. And it isn’t until Chan’s thumb gently slides over your rib cage that you let out a pained whimper.

He stills, drawing back ever so slightly to look into your eyes. His pupils are dark, dazed and drunken on the scent and the taste of you. Nobody says a thing for a whole minute as you keep on gazing at each other through heavy lids.

His mouth is perfect, puckered and pink from your assault. He’s beautiful.

You’re fucked.

——-

Yup. Definitely fucked.

You barely escaped Chan that night, having muttered an abstract excuse and quickly slipping past him while he was still in shock of your whole encounter. You were secretly glad and disappointed at the same time that he hadn’t come for you, hadn’t followed you out, and as you trailed back home in your now-broken heels, you couldn’t help but feel like something had ripped at the hope that had built inside your chest.

But as the true avoider of problems that you were, you decided that playing it safe but just ignoring the elephant in the room is the wisest choice at the moment. God knows Eunchae does not need to know what had transpired between you two, especially not when there is hope for a budding relationship. They’re not even going out, and yet you still feel sick. Who are you to be interfering? Why are you always interfering and getting in the middle of things?

So you play it cool, taking the December break as an excuse to not see Chan despite his messages pleading for you two to meet. He still wants some clarification as to what happened that night, but your head is still just as muddled and you have no idea what to say to him.

Chan: Y/N, I really need to talk to you.

Y/N: hey dude sorry, I’ll be a bit busy the whole month actually. You know with Christmas and everything. Let’s talk in Jan when we have some free time :)

Chan: Y/N this isn’t funny anymore

Y/N: nobody said it was supposed to be funny. I’m just busy.

Chan: please

Y/N: …I’m sorry.

He hadn’t responded after that so you hope that somewhere he’s ignoring you to spend some time with the girl of his dreams. Eunchae had been the first to outwardly say that she liked him, and it wouldn’t be fair for you to now confess your feelings.

Then, there was also the issue of Minji bugging you to double date again because of that stupid Christmas market that she simply could not go alone. Turns out that she’s quite persistent about it when she turns up in front of your flat on a Friday afternoon, flanked by both Minho and Chan.

You would’ve laughed at how hilarious the situation is — your ex-boyfriend with the guy you’re crushing on, if not for the fact that nothing had been resolved in the first place.

“I told you I’m not feeling good,” you say weakly as Minji quickly ruffles through your wardrobe, chucking what seems fit for this occasion while the two boys are waiting in the living room, “you guys should go without me.”

“Absolutely not. Chan looks miserable because you haven’t hung out with him at all these days. What’s up with that?” She looks over her shoulder at you, lips pursed, “did you have a fight or something?”

“No! Nothing like that.”

“Then make it right please. He’s been boring us with all his sulking.”

You wish you could tell her. You’re really aching for a second opinion. But everything is now just a mess that you have no idea how to clean and telling her would mean that you’d have to admit to all the ill feelings that had built up inside you all along.

You can’t do that to Minji, not even when she had been the one to steal Minho.

“Y/N, promise you’ll make it okay by dinner time? I can’t stand Chan like this any longer.” Minji pleads, bringing you back to reality.

You blink at her, try for a weak smile, “sure. I’ll try.”

It’s safe to say that the whole outing is awkward, what with you and Chan trying to avoid each other’s gaze while Minji and Minho are the perfect couple in love. Something inside your chest burns with jealousy, like a wildfire that can’t be put out no matter how much you look away. How come they get to be happy? How come you can’t share this happiness?

"Waaah look at all those lights!" Minji bounces from one foot to the other as you enter the market bustling with commotion. It's almost christmas time and people are busy buying gifts, apple cinammon wafting through the air on one side, crepes and chocolate on the other. Merchants are displaying pretty christmas pottery while some are exposing christmas sweaters, calling out people from the street as christmas jingles fill the air with excitement.

Your eyes take in the mulled wine brewing in the corner. Dang. That looks appetizing. And you probably need it.

A tug at your coat causes you to turn, blinking up at your best friend.

"We lost Minji."

He lets go to resume his walk and something lodges in the back of your throat at his posture. It'a tense, hands in pockets, like he doesn't want to be here.

"Hey Chan," you're quick to put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to glance down at you.

"What?" His eyes are searching, looking around to not focus on you. Your heart tugs with pain and you say, "can we...talk?"

"What, now?"

"Y--Yeah."

There's a beat of awkward silence as you wait for his answer. Then, Chan's hand grabs yours before he tugs and as you stumble against him you can't help flashing back to the way he'd gripped you to him that night, with almost desperate passion to kiss you senseless. Breathless.

It makes you warm all over.

There's a small area away from the big crowd, cozy and intimate with warming stations. Chan orders two mulled wines and brings them over to you, perched on a small wooden bench just big enough to fit two intimate individuals.

Your shoulder presses against his as he takes a seat and hands you your drink, which you mutter out a thank you before taking a sip. To be honest, you're not quite sure what to say, what to do, despite this being your idea.

You just know you have to make things right.

"I'm...sorry," you mutter into your cup in hopes that he'll hear, the shame burning the tips of your ears pink, "about avoiding you on purpose."

He takes a sip, shudders, "I just need to know why."

You press your lips together, "I...I didn't want things to get all complicated, especially with ...with you likig Eunchae and everything--"

"Who said so?"

You blink at him, "huh?"

"Who said I liked Eunchae?"

He looks away while taking another sip, not quite meeting your eye. You must be dreaming to see the slight blush scattering his cheeks and your brain tries to wrap itself around the new facts being thrown your way.

"Y--You did?" Your remark comes off more like a question. You swear something combusts in your chest as Chan turns to face you, thigh brushing yours while he leans a little closer so that you can feel the warmth of his breath.

"I said Eunchae liked me, but I never said I liked her back."

"You said you wanted to try it out with her."

"Yeah I did," Chan's eyes flit down to your lips, back up to your eyes and something in those dark pupils make you shiver, "until..."

You watch him, unsure. Your words are a mere breath, "until?"

He seems to struggle for words and something like hope sparks through your chest at the thought that maybe, just maybe--

No. Impossible.

"Y'know what, we don't have to have this conversation. You and Eunchae's relationship has nothing to do with me and I shouldn't be interfering," you stand up as you speak, already set on walking away in hopes that he doesn't see the way your heart is breaking, hurting, "let's go find Minji--"

Chan's fingers close around your wrist. He tugs you with enough force that it sends you toppling, yelping as you try to balance your cup--

Only to land in his lap.

One arm laces around your waist, the other slipping up to grip your chin and tilting your head down to face him. At this point, you're almost combusting in place, skin breaking out into sweat and heat rushing up to your face.

Chan's eyes meet yours. They lock, searching, gazing so intently you wish to squirm. Your brain's turned to mush.

"I--I--I--" you're a blubbering mess, scrambling away in protest. But Chan's grip is strong and you're secretly glad you're in a corner against a row of bushes hiding you away from most of the crowd, for this position is more than scandalous, "Wh--What do you--What are you doing Chan?!"

"Y/N," his voice, unlike yours, is calm. Controlled. He's looking at you with a confidence that makes you bite your lip and want to run away.

"W--What? Stop--stop looking at me like that."

An amused smile dances across his lips. He leans even closer, and holds you still when you try to lean back, yelping slightly, "like what?"

His breaths are warm, smell like mint against your skin.

His cup is long done and crumbled on the ground, and he plucks your cup gently from your hold to place it beside his.

"I--I don't know, just--stop, you--you're making me nervous!"

"Am I? He chuckles, "that's new." Pausing for a beat to take in your features, you avert your eyes and decide to find a sudden interest in a loose thread hanging off his shirt, “tell me the truth Y/N, why were you really angry that night?”

“What night?” You mumble in an act of defense.

Chan Chuckles lowly, “the night at Eunchae’s party. Why were you mad?”

“I wasn’t mad.”

“Y/N,” the way your name rolls off his tongue is enough to make you shiver and shut up. There’s a moment of silence where he searches your gaze, prodding, eyebrows furrowed and intent on your face. And you, teeth biting down onto your lower lip as a nervous knot builds in the back of your throat.

You can’t help but break underneath his gaze, “I…” you trail off, not sure how to say it aloud without sounding pathetic or stupid, “I was jealous. I was angry because I was jealous of you and Eunchae.”

“Why?”

Your eyes snap up to his, “because,” you murmur out brokenly, “I—I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else, because it makes me mad to think about the time you’re spending with her, because…because I like you.”

There. You’d said it. Out in the open. And Chan, his face unchanged, shifts you in his lap to get a better grip on your hips, his eyes darkening with emotion as he stares you down. It’s almost as if he’s still waiting for you to continue.

Your hands start wringing themselves together in knots, hoping that the ground would magically swallow you up and steal you away from this very moment. God knows you’re dying of shame and embarrassment with the way Chan is drilling holes into your skull.

“Chan?” You call out tentatively, “can you…say something?”

He takes a breath. Stills. His whole body quivers and he looks away for a second, as if needing to catch his breath.

And when he turns back to you, you’re glad you’re already sitting, for the warmth surging through his orbs makes your stomach giggly and legs feeling like jelly.

“Glad to know I’m not the only idiot who's in love,” he finally whispers out.

It takes you a minute. You blink. The words replay in your head. Wait—did he mean that? Is that what he’s actually saying? Does he—

No. This is a mistake. It surely is. It can’t be.

He chuckles, chest vibrating and breaking you out of your sudden reverie, “what’s with this face? You look like I just told you I was going to go to the North Pole.”

“N—No, I mean—What—Chan, I thought you—but what about—“ you’re a babbling mess at this stage and laughing even harder, Chan pulls you a little closer before his hand slides up to the back of your neck.

He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in. You don’t fight him.

The kiss you share is soft. Tender, and unhurried. Definitely unlike your first kiss in Eunchae’s bathroom. Chan is warm and tastes sweet and bitter at the same time, the tinge of mulled wine on his mouth as he draws away.

There’s a dust of blush on his cheeks and you can’t help but feel the satisfaction from that. At least you know you have that much of an effect. If anything.

“What about—what about Eunchae?” You can’t help but blurt out.

Chan presses his lips together. Then, he shakes his head, “I really enjoyed the attention at first. I never thought anyone would ever be interested in me. To be honest, I was curious,” one of his hands reach up to rub the back of his neck. Probably in nervousness, “but I don’t know. It didn’t click. I found myself…wanting to see you.”

“Hmm,” you hum, fingers playing with the material of his shirt, “interesting. Tell me more.”

“Ah wait a minute,” he frowns, “what about you? What happened to you and Minho? I never thought I was on your radar, until—“

“Until what?”

“Until you—“ the blush is back full force, springing through his cheeks like a bushfire, “until you decided to snog me in the bathroom—“

You gasp, “you snogged me first! You’re the one who kissed me!”

“I—I thought that’s what you wanted!”

“Well—yeah but I mean—it was your move!”

“Okay okay, I just couldn’t help myself,” Chan mutters while burying his face into the crook of your neck, breaths warm and tingling the skin there as his nose skims over your skin, “you looked so pretty with that outfit and—I don’t know, you were jealous and I found it so cute I—I’m sorry. I should’ve asked—“

You scoff to hide the way your cheeks are flushing at his compliments, “good thing I did want to snog your face off.”

He grumbles, nuzzles even more into you if that’s possible. You can’t help but smile, arms tentatively wrapping around his neck to draw him closer into a hug. You want to feel bad for Eunchae. You really do. But right now, sitting in Chan’s arms had never felt so right. The butterflies are roaring against your rib cage, fluttering with such vigor you feel like squirming. You don’t have to check to know that you’re currently grinning from ear to ear. It’s a different feeling, like you’re flying.

You never want to get back on the ground.

“So—what do we do?” You ask after a moment of silence, “are we dating? Or like…”

He pulls his face from your neck with amusement dancing in his eyes, “well, I think maybe I should take you out on a date first.”

“Oh,” just the thought renders you into a colored mess, “right…”

“Are you blushing?” Chan tilts his head to gaze up at you in endearment, warmth flowing from his eyes and making you squirm in his lap, “n—no, it’s just— I’m not used to this,” you mutter back.

“Yeah well, me neither,” Chan murmurs. Then, before you can protest he’s already tugged you back into a full-fledged embrace, nose nuzzling your collarbone and arms gripping you tight against his chest.

“Hey lovebirds!”

You scramble out of Chan’s lap so quickly that you almost fall face first on the gravel. Quickly finding your footing and shooting up into a standing position, you find Chan doing the same as you spot Minji’s head popping through the bushes, a Cheshire smile curling upon her lips.

“Well well well,” she cheers, “seems you two made up, didn’t you?”

You scowl, stomping past her as you say, “come on, I haven’t seen all of the market yet.”

“Well wait for me!” She chirps with another giggle, bouncing up behind you before linking arms and chattering on away about how the Christmas decorations are the cutest this year.

Chan watches you as he follows close behind, affection filling his chest and a grin breaking across his face.

I love her.

——-

"What if he doesn't like it?"

"He'll love it Y/N," Minji says while brushing back a few stray strands from your face. She ties up your hair in an elegant half ponytail, topping it off with a simple black ribbon, "there. You look pretty. There's no way Chan can't find you attractive."

"I know, but how am I supposed to act with him now? It's so...weird..." you blush just at the thought of having dinner face to face with him, the thought of his eyes locking on your own so intimately...

Oh just don't think about it! You feel like slapping yourself in the face. Why does it matter whether you’re alone or not? This is what you’ve been waiting for all this time, wasn’t it?

“What if it’s actually really awkward and we don’t know what to say to each other?” Your mutter s louder than you expect and Minji looks down at you, hands grasping your shoulders as she takes in your words.

“Trust me,” she says with a firmness you can’t quite compete with, “you’ll be fine.”

The doorbell rings just as you’re about to answer her that no, you won’t be fine and nothing about this is fine. Minji hurries over to get the door, barely giving you time to get your senses into check before the it swings open.

Chan gazes at you, blinks at Minji, then back at you like he’s seeing you for the first time.

And when he speaks, he is breathless.

“Hey,” he says, almost shyly. Like he can’t quite meet your eye, “you ready?”

“H-Hi,” you stutter out, cheeks flaming in pink as you scramble to get your bag together before scurrying towards the door, all while ignoring Minji, “so—sorry, were you waiting for long?”

“No no,” he smiles at you and you swear a million butterflies explode throughout your chest at this simple action, “I just came, and—“ he pauses for a second, eyes glancing over your outfit before locking with your own. His smile widens like a little boy who one found with his hand in a cookie jar. Not his cookie jar, “you look nice.”

“Thanks,” you sound breathless as you answer, and quickly try to come back down to earth, “you too.”

It is definitely weirder to be hanging out with Chan knowing that there’s the possibility of romance in the air. It’s not everyday that you get to be so close to the one you’re crushing on. It’s only just recently that you got to see Chan as more than just a friend, like a man, and the thought is unsettling, yet thrilling. One you can’t quite explain in simple words.

He brings you to the movies to watch a christmas-themed blockbuster. You don’t complain, continuing on the stream of chatter as you line up for some popcorn. It’s almost as if everything is normal between you two. Nothing feels as out of place as it should’ve, and slowly you find yourself relaxing the more the evening wears on.

“So is this another one of your stupid romcoms?” You can’t help but tease him as you make your way inside. There are numerous vacant seats and you follow Chan up the stairs until he finds a suitable row.

“it’s not just a stupid romcom okay?” Chan hisses back, and his response causes you to grin in the dark, “stories have happy endings too, you know.”

“Yeah yeah, so you keep saying,” you tease.

“D’you wanna bet that you’ll love this one?” He raises a brow at you.

“Pfft. You’re gonna bet on my reaction?”

His stare is serious, it almost makes you want to squirm in place. Heat rushing to the back of your neck, you hurriedly add on, “alright alright, what will you do for me if I don’t like the movie?”

“You grant me a dare.”

“A what?“ You feel your heart drop. Surely he hasn’t just suggested—

“A dare. You get to do any dare that I order you too,” satisfied, Chan crosses his arms over his chest with a grin, “fair deal?”

“Wha— how is that fair?!”

“It’s totally fair…if you’re honest with me,” he sends you a pointed look.

In the end you had to agree, grumbling a little under your breath as you did so and Chan, grinning from ear to ear, had gently prodded your shoulder with his. You couldn’t help but smile at his action.

He’s not one for skinship. And yet, he makes sure you’re always feeling loved no matter the circumstances.

“So?” He asks as soon as the ending credits roll in, “did you like it?”

In the end, you’d had to agree and abide by his rules. The movie had been — in all honesty — better than expected, though you’re quite unsure whether it had been because of Chan’s company or because it was genuinely good.

“Fine, what’s your dare?” You ask sullenly as you make your way to the exit. You feel like a child about to sulk in a corner.

But Chan laughs lightly, bopping you on the forehead as he says, “ hold my hand, all the way until the end of this date.”

You blink at him, “what if I have to go pee?”

“Then we'll go pee together."

"Didn't you say you didn't like holding hands?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Chan stiffen, colour spreading through his face, "yeah well..." he mutters, "it was different then."

His reaction is adorable, and as you stumble out into the street -- night has fallen and there are more people bumbling about -- you reach your hand out without looking at him, eyes averted to the ground before you feel his warmth wrap arouns yours.

His hand is large, had always been in comparison to yours. Somehow, the way his fingers close around yours makes you see stars.

You find a cozy little restaurant on the corner of the street where the christmas market is taking place. It’s called “Le Coin Ideale”, a small French-owned cafe with old retro vinyls stuck to the wall and faded-out couches scattered all over the place like an expired, outdated living room.

“This is cute,” you can’t help but mutter out as you take your seat. Chan flashes you a grin while handing you one of the menus stacked atop the table, “I found it by accident when I was running late for my chem exam, once.”

“You? Running late?” Your nose wrinkles, “somehow, that doesn’t seem to make so much sense.”

“You know why?” He leans forward, the grin blossoming on his face with such mischief you almost regret what you said, “the night before, you had called me because you couldn’t sleep. And even though I knew I was going to shoot myself in the foot the next day for not sticking to my sleep schedule, I just didn’t want to let you go.”

“What?” You blink at him, astounded by what he just said, “wait, how come I don’t remember—“

“I never told you my exam was the day after. You would’ve killed me.”

In response, you slap his arm. He winces, yelping out a protest, “what was that for?!”

“For being an idiot,” you grumble and avert your gaze, heat spreading through your cheeks. How adorable. He’d actually sacrificed his sleep for you. “Don’t do that again.”

Ordering two cups of hot chocolate and sandwiches — at this point you were just too engrossed in what Chan had to say that you don’t care what you’re eating as long as it’s food — the two of you keep up the stream of chatter as memories flood in. He reminds you of how, back in high school, you would hide in the art room just to get away from the crowd. Despite being popular due to your position on the cheerleading squad, you’d never been a fan of too much attention. Chan used to hang out with you there, painting portraits of your face, your side profile, your eyes, as you spoke about everything and anything.

“I always thought it was weird that you were on the cheerleading team,” Chan admits while munching through his sandwich.

“Hm?” You frown, “why? I think I was doing pretty good.”

“Yeah you were. You were one of the best they had. But, I don’t know,” he lifts his shoulders in a shrug, “you never seemed to fit in with the rest of the girls. Most of them were unbearable.”

You can’t help but giggle, “they’re not that bad. You’re the one who just hated talking to new people.”

“Yeah maybe,” he grabs a napkin as he speaks, reaching up to wipe your lips without a second’s hesitation and causing your heart to flutter, “I don’t think I’ve changed that much since high school.”

You’re trying really hard to keep holding onto his gaze despite the amount of heat frolicking inside your chest. You feel like you suddenly can’t breathe.

“I—well, I think no one has,” your eyes avert themselves to your drink and you quickly take a sip, “but I think we’ve become better.”

“What do you mean?”

“We haven’t changed. We’ve just…blossomed. Into who we are supposed to be. We don’t have to change for that.”

“Poet Y/N strikes again,” Chan’s lips curl up into a smile. He lets his head drop into his palm, tilting his face to gaze at you, “aren’t you cute.”

“Shut up,” you attempt to kick his shin.

He yelps, pulling his feet back as far as they can go, “wow, this is how you thank me for complimenting you? I’m hurt, Y/N.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Just for you,” his face breaks out into a grin then. You can’t help but grin back, heart soaring at the affection swimming in his gaze.

If you’d had any doubts about Chan loving you then, the way he’s looking at you throws every doubt out of the window.

He’s just so beautiful.

The afternoon sets in with golden sunlight streaming through the trees adorning the park and, considering the nice weather — albeit for the frozen ice to be wary of — it’s the best occasion for a walk.

“Do you know swans mate for life?” You say as you skirt around a patch of frozen ice.

“Like, actually?”

“Yeah. They’re one of the few animals that do. It’s kinda cute.”

The sun is warm as it hits your skin, a great contrast to the cold wind trickling through your hair. You push your beanie down in an attempt to savor more warmth, “they’re a lot like humans in that sense.”

“Not all humans mate for life, though.”

“No, they don’t,” you pull a grimace, “though I believe that people would be happier if they just committed—woah!”

There’s no way to steady yourself when your foot goes swinging forward, body lurching back as a cry escapes your lips and if it weren’t for Chan’s arms grabbing a hold of you and pulling you to his chest, you would’ve probably gotten a big bruise all along your back.

“Thanks,” you stutter it out between chattering teeth. It’s suddenly a lot colder now, “jeez, that’s dangerous.”

“You okay?” Chan asks, arms still wrapped around your middle, not letting go.

You nod firmly and, as he slowly sets you right upon your feet once again, you notice his hand sliding down your arm to interlace his fingers with yours.

“Ha,” you can’t help but chuckle, glancing up at him, “smooth.”

He’s blushing. And yet, grinning like there’s no tomorrow, “I know.”

The rest of the evening is spent browsing through the various stalls. You try on funny Christmas hats, take photos of each other as you laugh, and get to buy some mulled wine along the way. Christmas songs are blasting through the air like a national anthem but you find you don’t mind, it when your heart feels like it’s about to burst with emotion at any given moment.

Afterwards, as Chan walks you back home — much to your protest since you live opposite ways — you ask him how long he’s been feeling this way.

His answer is a shrug, “can’t tell. I just know it happened very suddenly. One day you were just a friend, and the next—I felt like you could be something more,” he ducks his head in embarrassment, eyes finding the ground crunching underneath your feet, “the thing is, once I realized—it just made sense. You know?”

“Yeah,” a smile breaks across your face, “yeah I know what that feels like.”

Reaching your apartment too soon for your liking, you make a quick work of unlocking the door and quickly tossing your shoes aside by the wall, "woah, I'm actually very tired."

There's no response, causing you to look back at Chan, standing by the doorway and shuffling on his feet like an awkward duck.

"Uhm," his hand is back at his neck, eyes darting between you and the apartment, "I--I'm not sure I should come in."

"Wha--why not?"

"Because it doesn't seem appropriate," he blushes.

"Dude it's fine, it's not like you haven't been in here--" the thought halts you in your tracks. You bite your lip. Oh. Right. You are in an established relayionship now. It's different.

"I--I mean," you stammer out, turning back around to set the shopping bags on the table as a source of distraction, "Yeah it's fine. Just--yeah come in and stop being so awkward."

You pour him some hot chocolate and bring it over to the couch where Chan has taken his place, as still as a solid rock, and he paints such a cute picture of innocence that a grin breaks across your face upon tracing his features.

"You know, it's still just me," you try to lighten the mood in hopes that Chan would actually stop being so tense, "you don't have to sit so straight either."

"I know," taking a shaky breath, he relaxes back into the couch and it seems like a weight has suddenly lifted from his shoulders, "yeah sorry. I'm just still not used to--you know..."

"Yeah I do," your grin widens and without warning, you swoop in to peck his cheek.

He lets out a sound between a yelp and a gasp as you chuckle, "you're cute, Chan."

"Don't call me that," he narrows his eyes at you.

"But you are," you're trying your best to mask your laugh but it's impossible with him looking so offendes by your words, "I'm sorry, it's just--I can't it, you're adorable--"

"Don't test me, Y/N."

"Ooh, what's big boy Chan gonna do huh?" You lean over, eyes sparkling, "that sounds scary--hey!"

He tackles you without warning, knocking your legs out from underneath before grabbing hold of your wrists. You shriek, playfully kicking at him as he lets his weight press down on you, chest against chest, skin against skin. Pinning you down onto the couch with a breathless grin, he chuckles at the annoyance on your face.

"Not so chatty now, are we?"

His murmur washes over you. Warm, tantalizingly so. You feel youraelf melting under his touch like butter.

Is this how love is supposed to feel? He's barely doibg anything and you feel like your heart has wings.

"For someone so shy, you're quite bold," is the only thing that you manage to say, though your words trail off as his lips inch closer and closer, "Chan..."

His eyes are glazed over, dark with untold emotion as they zero in on your lips. The butterflies explode tenfold across your tummy, legs squirming together only for Chan's thigh to slide in-between to part them.

You gasp, the air catching in the back of your throat as you feel his fingers interlock with yours.

Goosebumps tickle along your skin and you swallow thickly.

He's rendering you insane just by being so close to you and you can't help but wonder; where did your best friend go?

"Y/N."

His voice is soft, raw with restraint as you still, breathing the same air for a moment. You wish you can look away because he's making you feel all sorts of things. But you find you can't, pulled in by the ghostly power of chemistry triggered between your two bodies. It's as if time stops, the entire world freezing and suspending you two in a small pocket of bliss.

You're brought back to earth by Chan's soft growl. His fingers tighten ever so slightly on yours, and you bite down onto your lower lip upon feeling a knot tighten at the base of your stomach.

Is he going to...

"I--" he licks his lips, "I want to kiss you," he pauses for a beat, then adds, "Please."

You gaze at him. Your heart skips.

Then, you dip your head into a nod.

And before you know it, he's already tilted his head to press his lips against yours.

It's not like the first time, desperate and eager and drunk.

It's neither like the second, tentative and soft and filled with all the things you wished you had told him.

It's tender, yet firm. Caring. As if Chan already knows what you want, what you need. You feel him, firm and warm pressed up against you like he'd die if he didn't. You kiss back slightly, lips nibbling on his and causing a small breath to escape his throat. reassurance, probably. But it makes you melt even further into the couch as he continues kissing your next breath away.

You can taste him. Smell him. He smells of musk and boy deodorant, the kind that makes your head all dizzy as his mouth slants against yours even more intimately, pushing and moving and tongue licking the seam of your lips. You whimper, mouth opening to allow his tongue to dance with yours as he pushes you further back into the couch.

It's only when you need air that you find yourself parting, breathless and chest heaving as you feel his nose brushing yours with eyes half-lidded like he's judt come out of a dream.

Ironic, considering that what he says next is, "I'm not...dreaming, right?"

Dishevelled locks and a pouty mouth greets you as your eyes flutter open, and something in your lower stomach churns at the intensity in his eyes. Dark and molten with desire.

"No," your murmur is barely a breath of air that caresses his face. He sighs before nuzzling his nose into your cheek, "thank god."

Impulsively, your arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer to you and he happily obliges, face finding thr crook of your neck as you pillow your cheek on the side of his head, pressing a small kiss there.

It's so magical, so surreal. Yet it feels so right to have Chan in your arms.

It's incresible what life throws your way. This entire ordeal had started as a fake relationship, an excuse, a means to an end.

And now, you couldn't inagine yourself living without it. Without him.

"I love you."

You blurt out the words before you can stop yourself and Chan stills in your arms. His head lifts slightly, eyes finding yours as one of his hands reach up to caress your cheek.

"I love you too," he murmurs, and another flood of fireworks cause your heart to melt and explode at the same time.

You can't help but kiss him again. He kisses back with just as much ardour. And you think this is it.

Back and forth those comments would go, to a point where you had half a mind to tell them off and give them a piece of your own mind. But Chan, the gentle soul that he is, merely grabbed your arm, gave it a squeeze, before shaking his head. 

“It’s not worth it,” he always says like a priest devoting his soul to god, “trust me. It says a lot about them, it’s not about you.” 

That, however, has brought about a new problem; Minji’s over excitement about the fact that you were finally getting together with the man that had been waiting for you all his life. 

You don’t have the heart to tell her that it’s by far the most horrible fairytale you’re living in right now. 

“When are you free?” Minji quickly scrolls through her phone to find her calendar, eyes already scanning the dates where everyone would be free from university assignments, “How about early December? That should work right?” 

“I don’t know,” your heart can’t help but clamp up at the notion of spending the entire day watching Minho and Minji feeding each other stupid marshmallows from a stick, “I might not be free. I have to find a part-time job soon.” 

“Please Y/N,” Minji places her palms together, eyes widening like a cat begging for food and you find it’s hard to resist her charm no matter how much you try, “pretty please? It’s my treat. I’ll pay for everything, I promise.” 

In the end, you had no choice but to accept. It was either that or she would’ve invited you over for Christmas dinner with her family at her house. That simple image of you and Minho, with Mnji’s parents, in one room is embarrassing enough that you don’t even hesitate to agree. 

Chan, on the other hand, isn’t too pleased about the matter. 

“I don’t like amusement parks,” he complains that same afternoon. He’d decided to drop by after his biology experiments and is presently seated at your countertop as you dice the onions, followed by carrots, leeks, and lettuce. 

You’re too lazy to cook an actual dinner, so you had resigned yourself to making some Chinese porridge with a fried egg. Easy and simple enough. And plus, Chan loves eating porridge. 

“We don’t have to go on any,” you answer while stirring the rice, hot smoke flushing your face red. You glance at him over your shoulder, notice the stiffness in his shoulders that hadn’t been there yesterday, “what? Don’t tell me you’re not comfortable with amusement parks. They’re not that bad—“

“There are germs everywhere,” he cuts you off with glazed-over eyes as though he’s standing right there and seeing the nightmare unravel at his feet, “on the seats, in the toilet, on the railings where we queue up—“ he shudders, “no. No way. No thanks.” 

“Come on,” throwing all the ingredients into the pressure cooker, you set the timer and close the lid before whipping around with determination, “you have to go. It’s part of the deal.” 

“What deal?” 

“The fake dating deal.” 

“I said that I didn’t want—“

“You didn’t want to go to campus parties,” you interrupt him before he has a chance to speak and the way he bristles, you know you’ve won already by the guilt swimming in his eyes, “but you didn’t mention anything about amusement parks.” 

Still, Chan doesn’t say anything. He looks away, picking at a scratch on the countertop that only he would notice. 

“Come on,” you whine out, grabbing a hold of his arm and jiggling it around like a cat pawing its owner, “please please please. For me? Do it for me. Please—“

“Okay okay, fine!” He bats you away and you whoop in excitement. It’s too easy to take advantage of Chan’s kindness sometimes, but you love him for it, “thanks Chan.”

“You owe me.” 

“Aw come on, I’m making you porridge!” 

The weekend comes round all too soon and you find yourself on Saturday morning ditching your breakfast in favor of finding the perfect outfit to wear. This is a one in a lifetime chance to impress Minho and though it’s clear that he’s going out with Minji, that doesn’t mean you can’t flaunt yourself in his face and show him what he’s missing out on. 

You’re debating between wearing a cute crop top without sleeves or a white shirt that can be tucked into your jeans when the doorbell rings. You pad out in nothing but your sports bra and said bottoms to open the door, only to have your best friend yelp bloody murder. 

“Jeez Chan!” You quickly grab his forearms to pull him inside, rolling your eyes as you do so, “you’re such a girl.” 

“Just put some clothes on,” he’s already got his face covered with his hands, turning away in such a gentlemanly manner that it makes you scoff.

“What? You don’t even have an ounce of curiosity as to what my body might look like?” You ask him, finally deciding on wearing the white shirt. Minho did have a preference for light colors, you remark to yourself absentmindedly. 

Chan stutters at your question, “I—uhm—well I—“ 

You sigh, walk past him while tossing your jacket over his head, “you know what, don’t even answer that. I don’t want to know.” 

The walk to the subway station is comfortable — as comfortable as it can be with your creamy wedge heels that you had saved for the occasion — and upon reaching the station, you only realize that it’s the end of the month when you’re greeted by a sea of people maneuvering through the tight space, pushing you and Chan away from each other as you jostle to stay close.

“It’s packed,” you remark with a huff when you manage to locate a spare ticket dispenser. Chan is right at your side, pressed up against you as you try to order two tickets as quickly as possible. 

Chan groans, “I knew I shouldn’t have said yes to this outing. I’m going to regret it—“

“No,” you whip around, scowling, “you are going to have the time of your life, because you’re with me, and because we need to prove to Minho and Minji that we are the best couple this amusement park’s ever seen.” 

“I don’t understand how this is related to your love for Minho,” Chan notes. The tickets are dispensed and you retrieve them from the slot before he leads you out of the line. 

“Because,” your eyes scan the train schedule, identifying the right platform before moving towards it with purpose. Chan follows close behind, a hand closed around your arm, “I want Minho to regret having broken up with me.” 

“Why?” 

It’s only a mutter from Chan’s part and probably half-hearted at that. But it’s enough to set your veins on fire.

“Why?” You repeat back to him, eyes narrowed into slits as your mouth pulls down into a snarl, “because he fucking hurt me, that’s why. And to make things worse, he decided to hook up with my best friend.” 

“You can’t choose who you fall in love with, Y/N,” Chan says gently, “maybe things weren’t meant to work out between you two. Maybe you would’ve been unhappy—“

“Oh and what would you know about dating?” 

“To be honest, not much. But from what I know, I don’t think it’s doing you any good.” 

“Oh whatever,” you roll your eyes, “I’m done having this conversation.” 

“Okay, whatever you say Y/N.” 

His quick acceptance makes your blood boil with silent rage. You hate how nonchalant he’s being about all of this. It’s obvious that he’s disconnected, for he does not understand the kind of quiet turmoil you go through every time you spot them together, laughing, having the time of their lives…

You had that too, once. 

The ride to the amusement park station is quiet. Your head is adamantly turned away to the window, watch the landscape blur of trees, buildings and the city river zoom by in hopes that it provides enough distraction to calm you down. A pathetic attempt. Chan’s never been in your position, of course he won’t know how hard it is to see Minho flaunting Minji like she’s the most beautiful thing he’d set his eyes on. He doesn’t spend countless hours scrolling instagram to know where they are, what they are doing, whether she’s more fun than you ever were. He doesn’t look at himself in the mirror and wonder why in the world it wasn’t you. Why it never is. 

You’re so deep in your mind that you barely realized you’ve reached your stop until you feel a nudge from your side. Glancing back to see Chan gesturing you forward, it takes a second for your legs to start moving. You fall into step behind a crowd of friends erupting in cheers and shouts, and quickly duck out of the way to find the exit. 

“Y/N,” Chan’s quick to fall into step beside you, his hand reaching for your arm, “hey, can we talk—“

You brush him off, not in the mood to have such a conversation. Especially not in an amusement park, of all places.

But he’s more than persistent, grabs your arm in a firmer grip before twirling you around. His grip is firm, yet delicate. It’s only now you notice how careful he is, even when holding you. 

You do your best to avoid his stare, but if there’s anything that one needs to know about Chan, it is that he’s persistent, “look, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I just said it because I don’t like seeing you sad and hung up on him—“

“What would you know?” You bite back. He’s hurt you, more than he must know.

The furrow in his eyebrows deepen, “I know that you’re just doing all this to get his attention, not because you want him back, but because you want to convince yourself that you were good enough, better for him than anyone else will ever be, and—“

His words cause you to double over as tears slowly dribble down your cheeks. Pushing him away with a soft sob, your body moves on its own accord to get away. You need to get away. You can’t stay here, it feels suffocating. Too many people. Too many eyes—

“Y/N,” before you know it, Chan’s arms lace around your waist, twisting you around despite your weak protests before one of his hands reach up to press against the back of your head, guiding you into the crook of his neck. 

It’s enough. You let out another sob. Another, and another. And then, you’re silently crying, a steady stream of tears trickling down his shirt and causing a damp patch to appear along his chest and you have half a mind to pull away. But Chan’s grip is strong and firm, holding you still and allowing you to cry your heart out like you’ve never cried before. Not since your breakup with Minho. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you keep on repeating it like a mantra. Unsure whether that’s for Chan, or for yourself. Maybe both, “I’m so sorry—“ 

He shushes you, a hand smoothing over the back of your head to signal that there’s no need for talking. The action is so confident, so smooth and at ease that your muscles slowly loosen up, your body melting into his like a puddle of goo. 

You’re not quite sure when your tears slowly dried up or when you’d stopped crying. What you did know though, is that Chan never let go, not once. You’re even met with slight resistance upon pulling away. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want another good cry? We can just say we both got sick and run back home,” he says and despite everything, it makes a small snort fall from your lips as you shake your head, “I’m okay, really.” 

“Are you sure?” Unconsciously, his hand brushes away a strand of hair sticking to the corner of your mouth, and the way his eyes swim with concern suddenly makes you a little self-conscious, warmth spreading through your limbs as you nod and say that yes, you’re fine now. It had just been a little hiccup.

Just in time, your cell phone suddenly erupts with the final Naruto soundtrack, with you quickly scrambling to find the said device nestled in your shoulder bag.

“Yes, hello?” You’re a little breathless by the time you have the phone pressed to your ear. 

“Hey!” It’s Minji, her voice loud and excited over the blurry echo of people in the background, “we’re already inside! Where are you guys?!”

“Oh, we just came. We’ll be at the entrance soon.” 

“Okey-dokes!” She squeals, “see ya!” 

You don’t notice you’re pulling a grimace as you end the call until you see Chan chuckling, “what?” You ask him as you start for the amusement park. The crowd of people has dwindled down, the morning rush hour now past its peak time and feeling the air rush through the underground tunnel is actually a refreshing change.

“Nothing,” his chuckles grow tenfold, “you have this face when you say something you don’t mean.”

“What face?” 

“That face, it’s like you’re the kid who almost gets caught doing something bad, but ultimately gets away with it.” 

“And you would know how that looks like, wouldn’t you?” 

“This is how you say thank you after I almost saved your life?” 

“What?! Excuse me? Saved my life? That’s an exaggeration.” 

It’s crazy to think that merely five minutes ago had you bawling into Chan’s neck and now you were bickering like this moment never even happened. This was one of the many reasons why you loved Chan dearly. He never held anything against you, never changed for the sake of your mood. He was ultimately, unforgivingly himself, and you loved and cherished and respected him for it.

“Come on,” you say with a half-smile, “let’s go and show them who’s the real couple.” 

———-

How things have changed from the moment you left the amusement park is still a newfound mystery. Had it been the moment where Minji had forced you to hold hands with him for the sake of the photographs? Had it been on one of the roller coaster rides where you’d gripped his hand by accident and hadn’t let go, even long after you’d gotten down and was wandering about looking for the next ride? Had it been when his competitive streak got the best of him while shooting ducks with Minho as his opponent? He’d won you a small goldfish plushie as a result of his success, and Minho had sulked quietly in his corner after that, which had brought you a sense of satisfaction as you gripped the plushie to your chest. 

“This is not fair,” Minho had whined as you’d started walking back towards the subway station in the direction of the cafeteria, “how come you’re so good at this?” 

Chan grinned, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree as his hand unconsciously went to link with yours, “determination.” He announced. 

“I’m sure this thing was rigged,” Minho had kept on mumbling while his girlfriend had tried cheering him up by smothering kisses all over his face. 

You’d turned your face away, more disgusted than hurt at the display of affection, and Chan had chuckled, before tugging you closer. The surprising action got you blinking up at him as your shoulders brushed, only to jolt upon feeling him tuck a few stray strands of hair behind your ear. 

“You look like you just got out of a smoothie mixer,” he’d commented with an amused smile. 

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” you’d replied snarkily, not missing the way in which his thumb would stroke over your knuckles and causing another wave of heat to spread throughout your body. 

Or maybe, just maybe…it had been at that very specific moment where Minji had forced you to admire Chan’s features as you two waited at one of the diner tables, the two boys by the bar and waiting to order drinks for the four of you.

“I always thought Chan was attractive. He just isn’t very social,” Minji had said.

You whipped your head to throw her a look, “what?” This had been news to you. Minji had never batted an eye at Chan. 

“Well yeah. I couldn’t just say so you know, ‘cause everyone thought he was weird,” she shrugged, “but look at him. He’s actually not that bad if you ditch the geek look.” 

You had to agree with her that Chan’s glasses didn’t do him any justice, nor did the way he’d tuck his checkered shirt into his too-large jeans as though he’d bought them two sizes too big. 

But…now that you looked closely enough, he did have prominent features. Almond eyes, a strong nose and jawline accenting his angles, and a mouth so plump one would think he’d gotten them done.

You snapped back to reality, “no! That’s just wrong. We’ve known each other for such a long time. He’s like a brother to me—“

The words catch in your throat when you notice Minji’s frown, “But Y/N, you’re going out with him.” Her words had sounded accusing and alarm bells started ringing through your skull. 

“I—I mean, yes! Yes he’s gorgeous isn’t he? I never noticed it myself. What I meant to say was—he was such a good friend that it took me time to see it, you know, his Cham,” you had said  hurriedly. Sweat accumulated underneath your armpits. God. You were such a bad liar. 

That had been enough to convince Minji, but it was clear that you had to be even more careful moving forward. Then there was also the problem of having to fake a break up when…

When what? 

This is the dilemma that takes hold of you with such panic that you lay in bed, head buzzing with thoughts and feelings as you stare up at your ceiling. When exactly? What had you even been trying to provenanyway? 

This is it. It’s all gone wrong because you’d decided to spend time looking at your best friend like he’s a stranger. And now you’re regretting your life choices. 

The whole point of this relationship had been to show Minho that you were the better one, that you were the better girlfriend. But seeing him with Minji these past few weeks have taught you that the amount of  happiness you’d given him had been nothing in comparison to the way his smile widened every time Minji was around. It’s the way there’s glitter in his eyes when she smiles and the way his eyes follow her unconsciously wherever she goes. It’s the gentle touches when he thinks no one’s looking, of the way he doesn’t hesitate to be of service when she needs him.

He’s never been that caring, that doting, with you. 

A pang resonates through your chest at the realization.

Yes. Minho had loved you. But not nearly as much as he now loves Minji.

Why? What’s so wrong about you that’s unloveable? 

Are you that bad? Are you not good enough? Will you never be good enough?

A buzz from your phone shakes you out of your existential crisis and, still sorting through the flurry of emotions in your chest, you extend your arm towards your nightstand, make a grab for your phone before squinting at the screen. 

Chan: You up? I have something to tell you. 

A frown settles over your face. What’s so important that he can’t wait till you see each other in lecture later that day? 

Y/N: I mean…we are seeing each other in like thirty minutes. 

Chan: It can’t wait, Y/N. It’s kinda urgent. Can I call you? 

You dial his number. It takes him two seconds to pick up. 

“Hey,” he breathes on the other end of the line. He doesn’t sound upset, which is a good start. 

“Hi,” you shift, turn to the side to press the phone to your ear, “what’s up? What’s the emergency?” 

“Well…” there’s a bit of stalling on his part. You hear him shuffle from one foot to another. And then, just as you’re about to be snarky and tell him to hurry up, the next set of words causes all your blood to freeze in mid-flow. 

“Someone asked me out,” he chuckles as if he doesn’t quite believe it himself. You don’t quite believe it. Who would ask Chan out? Not that he’s not dating material, just not the type that girls on campus usually go for, “a girl from my industrial design class. Her name’s Eunchae. She’s really nice—“ 

“Wait—Wait hold on, what?” The words blurt out of your mouth before you can stop them, “you can’t! We’re still—we’re technically still dating!” 

“We can just fake a breakup or something—“ 

“But I still need you. We haven’t finished—“ 

“Y/N,” Chan cuts you off. His voice is firm, solid. Unlike anything you’ve heard before, “Minho is happy with Minji. You need to realize that.” 

Shame boils through you, “oh I’m sorry, I’m only trying to cope with the fact that I got chosen over and will never be good enough,” you snap, “but be my guest, thank you very much.” 

“Look,” his tone is gentle when he speaks next, “you and Minho just didn’t work out. But that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. The right person will be there for you, Y/N. If you let them.” 

In reality, you don’t give a damn about Minho anymore. You don’t even care how much PDA he and Minji display around campus because someone else has stepped into your field of vision, and that person is blissfully unaware that you might be looking at them differently. 

But who are you to stop Chan from trying his shot at happiness? It’s not fair for you to hold him back merely because of a fake relationship. Something in your heart tugs wildly and you try not to choke on your own breath as scenarios of Chan and this mystery woman flash through your mind like a movie on rewind. 

“Y/N? You still there?” 

Chan’s gentle tone brings you back to reality and you mumble out, “yeah.” 

“Listen…just forget about it. It was a stupid idea to ask—“

“Go ahead.”

Chan splutters into a pause, “Huh?” 

“Go ahead. Ask her out. Make plans.” You bite your lower lip. The sting of tears blur your vision, “I’m not going to stand in your way.”

“Are you okay?” 

But you don’t answer. Instead, you cut off the call and then, as if a huge weight has fallen upon your shoulders, you start sobbing into the palms of your hands. 

———-

A/N: Part 2!!!!

As if that helps with the sudden overload of problems getting stacked up in a pile a mile high right before your eyes. Your ex-boyfriend, looking as gorgeous as ever and providing his constant lip service to his fans, now has his arms wrapped around one of the cheerleaders whom he’d claimed only weeks before as “just friends and nothing more.”

Ha. What a joke. You were the joke.

Tears burnt at the back of your eyes and you have to look away, blinking angrily into nothingness as your eyes struggle to glaze over with emotion. You can’t lose your cool. Not here. Not now. After all, it’s bad enough everyone on campus got to witness your break-up in a manner reminiscent of that of a pop-star’s, what with Lee Minho walking away from you as if he’d never had a care in his world and that he couldn’t care less how much of an asshole he seemed to be in that very moment he’d decided to dump your sorry ass.

“Got a place for me?”

Turning and quickly rubbing at your eyes with your coat sleeve, you catch sight of your best friend — as geeky as usual — struggling to hold two popcorn bags, a hotdog, and diet coke bottles, his glasses slightly askew and looking like he’d just rolled out of bed.

“Did you just wake up?” You can’t hide your horror at his choice of attire. A bedraggled shirt wrinkled in too many places to count, grey sweatpants and jogging shoes that seemed to have seen better days. He just grins bashfully in response, handing you the popcorn before he pushes through the throng of people to get to your seats.

“Sorry. I completely forgot the time,” he pushed his glasses up using his elbow. Setting down the coke as he takes his seat, he doesn’t hesitate to bite into his hot dog, moaning in bliss as he does so, “damn, hot dogs sold at soccer games are the best. There’s just no way you can beat that.”

“It’s just a hot dog.”

“Yeah," he looks at you, offended, "but it’s sold at a soccer game.”

“And?”

“And that automatically enhances its taste, no questions asked.”

You shake your head, though it’s impossible to hide the smile growing on your lips, “you’re an idiot, Bang Chan.”

"And you, my dear friend Y/N, should start living a little," Chan leans forward in his seat then, an overexcited pup as the whistle signals the start of the game, "what are the chances of us winning this time?"

You roll your eyes, "I don't know. I don't care."

"You don't care because your Ex is playing," he points out, "so you'd want him to lose, ideally."

"In all honesty? Yes."

He chuckles and takes another bite of his hot dog, "always the pessimist."

At your age, it's surprising that you and Bang Chan have stayed friends all throughout your middle and high school years. Friends come and go, drift off when your interests and priorities changw in life. Yet, somehow, Bang Chan had always seemed to be present and everlasting. He's the harbour which you float back to when you feel lost out at sea despite being complete polar opposites.

It's an understatement to say that your friends dislike Chan. They don't dislike him per say. They just don't understand him.

"What do you have to talk about with this guy, Y/N?" They would snigger amongst themselves whenever he'd drift away to get some more food, "he's weird."

"He still reads comic books."

"And looks up marine animals in his free time."

"What's wrong with marine animals?" You can't help but ask at the absurdity of their questions, "I like dogs. So what?"

"Yeah but you're not like, obsessed with them," one of your friend wrinkles her nose like she's smelling something disgusting, "and plus, he's so awkward. I can't stand the way he makea eye contact with me every time we spend more than five seconds together."

Maybe it is the fact that you've known Chan forever that silence with him doesn't bother you the slightest. It's been routine for the past few years after all, with him doing his own thing and you lost in your own world.

"Oh! Score!" Chan suddenly jumps up aa the board blinks like crazy and the crowd roars. The speakers boom out with the MC's voice:

"Aaaand it's a score for the Riverland Snakes! It's now one to zero folks and what a beautiful start to the first college league game!"

Cheerleaders deploy across the field like a pack of hyenas in bright clothing, screaming out each player's name between their kicks and summersaults.

Your gaze catches your ex-boyfriend's figure across the field and it's no surprise he's all smiles.

"I thought you said our first opponent was good," you lean in to whisper into Chan's ear.

"Well yeah but maybe they're having an off season or something," he shrugs, "who knows?"

Indeed. As the Riverland Snakes keep on scoring goal after goal with minimal, the more your heart drops in your chest like someone just punched you. It stings and the hatred, all the loathing, seems to pour out of you in waves.

You hate this.

You hate being here.

Another goal for the Riverland Snakes. Another score that gathers a loud cheer.

A goal for the Thundering Tigers.

2-1.

And then, the whistle. Signalling the end of the match.

You don't want to watch. But you do, eyes raking over Minho's figure as he runs to his teammates and gathers them up in a ceremonial hug while the rest of the crowd pulses forward like an army of ants. Thre excitement buzzes in the air, overlapped with joy pulsing through Riverland students and it's too much, too much that you turn to Chan to tell him you're leaving--

Only to see Minho wrapping his arms around a girl.

Not just another girl. A friend. Your friend.

Her dyed auburn curls are shining, her head thrown back in laughter as Minho easily picks her up and gives her a twirl.

Then they kiss. And you feel like your entire world falls apart.

————-

“You can’t hide forever.”

You bury your head even deeper into the covers, snuggling into your pillow in hopes that Chan’s voice disappears at some point. This is how you’ve spent the last four days, rolling around in bed and barely cooking yourself anything, showering only when you need to, going to the toilet only when you need to. For the rest of the time, your eyes are glued to the ceiling. Numb. Filled with thoughts about where this possibly went wrong. And why, why out of all people, had he decided that it had to be her?

“Y/N,” Chan sighs on the other side of the door. Screw it. You wish you hadn’t given him the spare keys to your apartment. Back then it had sounded like a good idea, Chan being responsible and all, “you can’t hide in there forever.”

You turn away from the door, groaning.

Maybe if you ignore him he’ll go away. That’s what you’ve been doing all this time after all. He hadn’t had the bravery to break these boundaries yet.

“Y/N, I’m warning you. I’ll open the door if you don’t answer.”

Ha. As if. You don’t believe a word he says. You huff a little to yourself.

“Alright then.”

And the door is flung open. Yelping in shock, you bound up from your bed to look at the doorway where Chan stands, his hands filled with grocery bags with an expression that doesn’t seem all too impressed. As if on instinct, your body curls in on itself and you tug the blanket up to your chin, shrieking, “I didn’t say you could come in!”

“Well you weren’t answering so I had to check if you were still alive in there,” he says without missing a beat. One would think that Chan’s the kind of guy to be completely comfortable in just waltzing into a girl’s room, but his ears are flushed red, as is his neck. And he avoids making eye contact with you. Instead, he focuses on rummaging through the bags like it’s his sole mission, “I bought you food, snacks, toiletries if you needed them. Wasn’t sure what you were missing since you’ve been ignoring me all this time—“

“I really can’t do this right now,” you flop down on your bed and turn away from him.

“Are you sure? I brought you a donut.”

You freeze in mid-roll. Donuts. That sounds nice. You’ve always had a thing for donuts. The glaze, the chocolate filling inside, the crispy softness of the dough…that’s enough to make your mouth water.

No. You’re not to fall for his stupid plan.

“I don’t want your stupid donut,” you mutter half-heartedly.

“Are you sure?” You feel the bed dipping underneath Chan’s weight as he sits on the edge. There’s an amused tilt to his voice, “I bought the one from Krispy Kreme, the double chocolate one with chocolate filling. It’s even got those little nuts on it and a caramel glaze—“

The blanket is jerked off as you swivel around to face him, “fine, fine! You win! Where is it?”

Chan barks out in laughter while he hands you the packet and you don’t hesitate to rip it from his grip, inhaling the sweetness of the donut. You take a huge bite out of it and a burst of chocolate and caramel flavor spread across your tongue in delight.

You moan, “this is so worth seeing your face.”

“I’m not sure I should take that as a compliment.”

“It’s not,” you swallow and take another bite. The nut crunches and mixes in with the amazing chocolate filling that oozes along your tastebuds. Chan, meanwhile, is gazing up at you with fondness in his eyes. He’s always looking at you like that, especially when you’re eating donuts. He says there’s something that is really satisfying about watching you enjoy your food. Maybe it’s because you’re never that keen on food unless it’s sweet and bad for your health.

“How are you?” He ventures after some time.

You snort to hide the sadness that suddenly comes seeping in, “how do you think I am?”

“Horrible, from what I’m seeing.”

“Exactly.”

“I just don’t understand,” something catches in your throat. Your eyes sting, burning, “I thought she was my friend. I thought he loved me. It just sucks.”

“Yeah,” Chan mumbles back, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” You try to laugh, though it sounds hollow, “you didn’t do anything. It’s not your fault.”

As much as you initially hate the fact that Chan has managed to infiltrate into your house without warning, you have to admit it feels nice to have his company around. He volunteers to cook you lunch and shoves you into the bathroom while he puts your laundry into the washing machine. You spend that time scrubbing down your body and giving your hair a nice wash until your scalp is red and your mirror has fogged up. Towelling your hair dry and putting on some fresh clothes does make you feel marginally better, and when you pad out into the kitchen your stomach rumbles as the smell of bacon and eggs waft through the air.

“Breakfast is ready,” Chan grins at you, “you look like you’ve just revived from the walking dead.”

“Thanks. And you should stop commenting on my appearance. You know girls are sensitive to this kind of shit?”

He whacks you with his oven mitten, “stop being so vulgar.”

The rest of the day is spent lounging in the living room and binge-watching the series of Stranger Things that for some reason, has Chan really addicted. You’re not quite certain why he loves it so much, but you endure through it anyway, knowing that the distraction is good to keep your mind off things that would make you cry and break stuff otherwise.

But at some point during the afternoon, you find yourself re-thinking about all the things that could’ve gone wrong. Is it something to do with the way you loved talking things out instantly instead of just brushing them aside? What had Minho found in her that he couldn’t find in you? And why…why did she decide to go behind your back? The betrayal hurts more than the actual break-up.

Chan encourages you to come back to school the next day and you reluctantly agree after some persuasion that you’ll grab some more donuts after your last lecture. That motivation doesn’t last very long. It’s hard just to put one foot in front of the other, and you’re barely out of the house. Every step hurts your pride, makes your heart shrink even smaller inside your chest, and you feel like you can’t breathe.

The world, however, seems to love conspiring against you. That comes into the form of the one who'd been kissing your ex just a few days ago.

"Y/N, can we talk?" Lee Minji slots an arm through yours as you walk to your computer science lecture.

You shrug her off like she's the plague, glaring at her, "what do you think you're doing?"

"What?" She laughs, "Y/N, it's not like I committed a crime or anything--"

"He's my boyfriend!" You burst out.

"He was your boyfriend."

For a minute, all you can do is stare each other down.

Anger bubbles through you, burning your insides.

"I can't believe you," you grovel out through gritted teeth, "you--I thought you were my friend."

"I am! It's just--things happen Y/N, I can't control who I fall in love with," guilt washes across Minji's festures as she reaches for your arm once more, "please, can we just talk it over?"

You want to. You really do want to hug her and cry it out, and then everything will be fine and normal again. But just the thought of her and Minho together has you wrenching out your arm in disgust.

"Get the fuck out of my face," you snarl out.

Then, before she can say anything else, you're whipping around and walking away as your heart collapses.

You barely make it to the end of the road before you lean over and break down crying.

-----

"Just do it," you hiss at Chan, aware of his fluttering hands at your waist, the hitch in his breath, the way he tries avoiding your eyes.

You're in the middle of the dance floor in the university gym, streamers of white and blue adorning the ceiling as couples sway along to the romantic music booming through speakers that have seen better days.

Never in your right mind would you have made it to this kind of ball. It's not your thing. But all of that had changed a few days ago when an idea had popped up.

"You want me to what?" Chan's mouth had opened in shock at your suggestion, which you'd merely ignored.

It had been on impulse to attend the celebratory dinner organized by the football team. But your pride couldn't let it go; that Minho and Minji would spend the entire evening cuddling without remorse?

My ass they will, is what you thought.

Which is why you dragged Chan along for the ride despite his initial reluctance, grumbling all the way into the parking lot. He'd kept on insisting how bad of an idea it was, which merely spurred on your intent even more. To find Minho and make him regret having walked away from you.

That is how you find yourself attached to Chan, pressing yourself against him as if your life depends on it when you notice Minho lingering by the doorway with his friends, his profile leaning towards the dance floor so that you're in his full peripheral view if he merely moves his gaze up.

"Just hold me," you hiss at him through gritted teeth, pushing yourself even closer if that's possible.

There's a slight hesitation before Chan's arms wrap around your frame. Your nose brushes against his nape, causing you to get a whiff of his boyish odour mixed with deodorant. It feels nice, not completely comfortable, but nice.

In the background, you hear the music switch to a softer groove, a slow orchestra accompanied by a deep tenor.

I've never been the type

I've never fed a line in my life

The music pulses, echoes through the crowd like a magic spell and for a minute, you allow your head to fall onto Chan's shoulder as your feet shuffle to the beat.

Let's be squares in a round world,

Let's be squares in a round world, baby

Let's be squares in a round world,

Let's be squares in a round world,

"Is he even looking?" Chan mumbles into your ear.

You spare them a glance but it's too dark to tell, "it's fine. Just make as if you're saying something very funny," and then, you throw your head back to laugh aloud, "HAHAHA! How funny Chan!"

"Shhh!" Chan shields your body, pivoting you around so that his body shields yours, "you are so embarrassing."

You don't have to see him to know he's blushing down to his toes, "I'm trying to stay in character."

"I'm never coming to help you ever again."

"Nobody cares Chan, it's fine."

The music ends and he's quick to drag you off with the exvuse that he's thirsty, and while he's away finding you drinks, your eyes impulsively find Minho's across the dance floor.

Something flashes in his eyes when he notices you, something unreadable, and then he looks away as if embarrassed.

Embarrassed...by what? By the fact that he's now shoving his tongue down your friend's throat? Or that he can't stand the thought of seeing you with another guy?

"Hey," a cup presses against your cheek. You turn your head to find Chan, grabbing the cup from him as he settles upon the bleachers beside you.

"Thanks," you say, "and not just for the juice."

"You owe me. Big time."

"I know."

"Do you think it worked?"

"What?" You raise a brow.

"Do you think you managed to rile him up?" Chan glances over in Minho's direction. The latter is flankes by Minji and two other guys engaged in conversation.

Something in your heart tightens at the way her hand is lingering along his forearm.

Pressing your lips, you allow your gaze to tear away before it causes any more damage, "I don't know," you confess softly, "I don't know whether it's hurting me more."

He makes a sound of acknowledgement. Your hesrt squeezes tightly in your chest, eyes stinging with sudden tears.

"I--I need to go," you murmur, already striding towards the exit as Chan scrambles after you, "wait, Y/N--"

You don't listen. You don't want to.

You can't.

It hurts too much.

---

"Congratulations!"

Those are the words flung in your face the moment you step into the dining hall. Minji stands, lunch bag in hand and a huge grin dancing along her lips as if your argument had never occurred in the first place.

You blink, knowing that you should still be mad at her. Then brush past her to find a free table.

She follows, not deterred by your coldness, "I didn't know Chan was your type. You guys seem so cute together though."

"What?" You turn in surprise, and her smile widens, "I knew it! It's true! You are going out with Chan!"

A bit perplexed by her train of thought, you scramble for a coherent response and blurt out without thinking, "yeah. Yeah I am," your voice is still cold, "why? You're going to steal him too?"

You feel like kicking yourself when her face falls and hurt replaces it.

"I'm sorry," you mutter, averting your gaze and sitting down at the table, "it's just--"

"I understand," she cuts you off, takes a seat right next to you. The kindness radiating from her is so overpowering you don't have the strength to push her away, "i'm sorry, Y/N. I never wanted it to be like this. Trust me, Minho feels the same."

"Yeah, sure."

A weird ache settles in your chest as you eat with Minji and talk of stuff that you don't really care about. She's being extra careful to please you and you can feel her guilt glimmering through every glance she sends your way. But though you want to be mean, you want her to suffer, you find that you don't have the heart to.

"Oh! I have chem next," she quickly packs up her bag and you inwardly let out a sigh of relief. God, you're glad this is over.

You watch as she slings her backpack over her shoulder, sends you another shy smile and says, "see you after? Maybe?"

"Uhm..."

"How about coffee? From Paul's?"

The look on her face deflates the anger in you. You find you cannot say no, "I'm--"

"Please, Y/N."

Biting your lip, you mumble your agreement.

The smile she sends your way is dazzling. Almost too much.

Sometimes, you wonder whether you're just too nice for your own good. Or whether you're just plain stupid.

In any case, things just get progressively worse throughout the day; you're stopped countless times either to be congratulated about your newfound relationship, or asked whether the rumours about you and Chan are true. You confirm their suspicions, though quite unsure how that newfound information should evolve. You decide to scurry towards Chan's flat the moment your last lecture ends.

"Ah you've heard?" He asks the moment you step into his mini foyer. He's just bathed, now drying off his wet strands using his towel, "the entire school is raving about it."

Checking your inbox and noticing the spam messages from your friends confirm his assumptions.

"Right, well," you settle at his table, munching from his already-open crisps packet as you cross your feet, "at least we know Minho's aware of it."

"Uhuh," Chan pulls out the lasagna from the oven, his dinner for the night. Yours too, now, "we need to talk."

"About?" You raise a brow.

"If we're going to fake date to make Minho jealous, we should have a plan."

"Okay," you drag the word out, "and what exactly are you implying?"

"We don't have to act like a couple unless he's around," Chan starts ticking things off his fingers, glasses sliding along the tip of his nose as he does so, "I'm not comfy with PDA so if we keep it minimal, that would be best--"

"You're such a wuss."

"Shut up," he snaps, "do you want to make him jealous or not?"

"Fine fine," you wave at him to continue and he serves you a portion. It's unconscious and natural, since you're always pigging out on his food, "anything else?"

"I particularly don't enjoy hand-holding. So if we could find an alternative--"

"You can't be serious," your laughter stops midway upon noticing that he's not laughing with you, "it's just hand-holding!"

"I don't like it. It makes me nervous."

"Alright," you roll your eyes, "keep going."

"No kisses. Arm around shoulders or neck is fine, but that's it. No pet names 'cause that's embarrassing, and please, please don't make me go to this horrid campus parties that your friends are obsesses with."

"Jeez," you let out a whoosh of air, "no wonder people don't want to hang out with you. Are you just as weird with them?"

"I call them boundaries. They're healthy and they make me feel good."

"Sure, whatever babe."

He flushes, swats at you like you're an annoying insect, "I said no pet names!"

"Aw bunny, look how cute you are being embarrassed and all."

Your laughter merely erupts tenfold the redder he becomes, mumbling to himself why he's even trying to help you out when you're doing nothing o help him back. It's clear though, that he's got a soft spot for you. Chan always has, especially when you need him.

You really hope that this fake-dating works out. The quicker the better. Just enough that it makes Minho realize his mistake.

"How long do you think it'll take for him to cave in?" Chan asks as if he's just read your mind.

"As long as it takes."

You really hope it's sooner rather than later.

-----

"It does look similar," Juyeon says slowly before leaning towards the laptop screen until his face is almost touching it. "It looks like he also has one on his collar though; do you have that one as well?"

You heave a sigh. "No."

It's another day that yields no results on the soulmate front, which shouldn't be surprising at this point, but it's a growing frustration that the continuous stream of bruises on your body left no clue as to where your soulmate could be.

Boxing has never been an interest of yours but ever since the bruises started appearing, Juyeon had suggested that your soulmate might be a boxer. It had been a joke at first but seeing as the bruises never stopped as you waited year after year to find this soulmate, your last resort was to try and look for them anywhere you could. It led you to watch boxing matches quite regularly, but the boxers' bruising patterns never quite matched yours, and the timing of your bruises didn't quite match theirs.

Soulmate—the one person in the world that shared your bruises, whose body displayed all the blues and purples of your pain like watercolour on a canvas. The concept sounded beautiful, and sometimes you could indeed see the beauty in Juyeon and Hyunjae's shared glances as congruent spots bloomed across their skin simultaneously. You saw it in the way every mark told a story, how each one was a reminder that there is someone to share your pain and that they are never too far away.

But as nice as the idea of a soulmate sounded in theory, you didn't know how to feel about the fact that your soulmate was out there getting their body battered. Were they playing a sport that involved frequent injuries? Were they actually a boxer or maybe even a stunt actor? Were they super clumsy? Or were they just—you definitely did not want to imagine the other scenarios that could possibly lead to such frequent bruising, especially when certain locations of the bruises shared a little too much about this annoying soulmate's actions.

The point was, you didn't understand how someone who was constantly getting their body bruised like that would possibly be compatible with you, an innocent student just trying to graduate from college and get a job. Though at this rate you might as well become a professional makeup artist with the amount of makeup you were wearing on a daily basis just to cover all the bruises. All that just made you more determined to find this hell of a soulmate and maybe give them a punch of your own.

"Hang in there," Juyeon says gently, pulling you out of your thoughts. "You'll find them soon."

"What did I miss?" Hyunjae comes into you room with his face entirely blocked by the bags of snacks he was carrying in his arms. He settles in between you and Juyeon, perched comfortably on the edge of your bed as he starts munching on chips. "No progress again today?"

"I thought that it might be this Sangyeon guy." You point at the screen where the boxer is walking by after a match that he won. It really would've been a good day to have him as a soulmate. "But now I'm even angrier at my soulmate for not being him."

"Oh, he's hot," Hyunjae nods. "But why, did you fantasize about having him as your soulmate or something?"

"Shut up. Not all of us are lucky enough to have hot soulmates, you know."

"Yes, please don't remind us that you once liked my hot soulmate." Hyunjae puts an arm around Juyeon possessively and you have to resist the urge to smack him.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"But wait. Is that a new bruise?" He manages to poke your cheek before you swat his hand away and give him a glare.

It's your right cheek today instead of the usual left, but the timing isn't unusual for the bruises to start showing up. You sigh again, grabbing your phone to check in the camera, and just as he pointed out, the hints of blue-green hues are starting to make their way across your skin.

"It's okay," he says nonchalantly, "look on the bright side, at least it's not at a weird location."

"Um." You did not want to discuss weird locations. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know. Like your neck or stomach. Or thighs." Hyunjae pauses for a second as a teasing expression slowly spreads across his face. "Though I guess if they were on your thighs you wouldn't exactly be telling us about them or showing us."

"Hyunjae!" Juyeon elbows him for you. At least one of the soulmate duo has some sense.

You don't say anything in response as you grab another chip, pretending as if your privacy—or was it your soulmate's?—hadn't just been violated by your supposed best friend. You did not want to be picturing your soulmate doing questionable things with other people.

"Wait... don't tell me you've actually gotten them there before. Y/N!"

You push him off the bed.

The morning flies by in a rush of insistent knocks on your door by the soulmate duo, running around your room to pack your bag for class, and then completely forgetting about putting on your safety net of a cake face to potentially cover up the evidence of your soulmate's injuries. Maybe that should've been your warning sign to skip class entirely today, but the soulmate duo reassures you that everything would be just fine. Hyunjae states that the chance of your soulmate getting beat up at this early morning hour was low, and on the other hand, Juyeon says you look perfectly gorgeous without makeup.

While you appreciate their efforts, you know they don't quite understand your reasoning for covering up the marks you get. You've seen the way they wear their bruises proudly, as a sign that their soulmate exists and as a statement of that bond just like a promise ring. That's naturally what happens when they've known each other since elementary school, where a fall on the playground resulted in a matching bruise on a classmate.

One day, if you ever find your soulmate, you wished to be able to boldly show off each and every mark too. But for now, you hated even the thought of possibly wearing your soulmate's ugly black eye like it's a fashion statement.

Campus is calm and quiet so early in the morning, a nice change from the bustle of crowds you usually see on the way to your afternoon classes. Clubs are just beginning to set up their tents for the club fair, including the pop-up farmer's market that comes to your school every month. In the distance, you could already see the bushels of various fresh fruits and vegetables set up on the stands, and there's a small bakery section at the very end filled with what looked like pastries and coffee shop drinks.

"Are we too late to even stop for coffee?" you groan, already imagining the suffering you'd be doing in lecture when the professor's monotone voice lulls you to sleep.

"Unfortunately." Juyeon gives a wry smile.

Hyunjae shakes his head at you. "You should've slept earlier."

"I had so much work to do for tutoring," you whine. "Anyways, coffee run after class please. Hyunjae, you owe me."

But just before you could hear his snarky retort, there's a roar of wheels against the sidewalk followed by a loud gust of wind.

Only a few inches away from you, so close that you could smell his cologne as he winks at you with a smirk on his face. A skateboarder, his dark hoodie and beanie blurring together as he zooms by. It nearly makes you fall despite how he didn't actually bump into you.

"What the—"

"You okay?" Juyeon grasps you just in time.

"Yeah, thanks." You quickly get back on your feet and subconsciously brush the shoulder that the skateboarder nearly touched. "But wow, how rude. You're not the only one who's late, asshole."

"Look at the way he's showing off now," Hyunjae snorts and when you follow his gaze, you could see the skateboarder continuing to weave his way through the students on the sidewalk, occasionally doing those jump tricks off the curb. The rumble of wheels on concrete fades as he gets farther away, but you don't miss the way he makes a few other students nearly fall as they scrambled to move out of his way.

"Must think he's so cool—" you start. And then stop. Because right then, karma literally manifests and catches up to said skateboarder faster than the blink of an eye. Maybe there was a rock on the sidewalk or some sort of ledge in between the cracks because the next thing you know, the guy is sent flying off the skateboard. It makes him tumble quite a distance, and what's absolutely hilarious is the way he lands. Right in the fruit stand that the farmer's market had set up.

Face first, straight into a bushel of apples.

"Ouch, that's got to hurt," Hyunjae says. It only takes one glance at him for the two of you to burst out laughing.

"Is he a bad boy because... he's bad at everything?" you say amidst the giggles.

"But did you see the look on his face?" Hyunjae holds onto your shoulder as he doubles over in laughter, only coming up when there are tears at the corners of his eyes. "Oh wait, only the apples could've seen that!"

The skateboarder slowly gets up as the people at the farmer's market gather to watch, their expressions equally divided between sympathy and amusement. You don't feel bad about laughing at all. Besides, this was totally karma for giving you and everyone else such a scare on the skateboard earlier. Especially that wink at you; who does he think he is?

Juyeon shakes his head. "Well, it's a terrible day to be his soulmate. Imagine waking up to that giant bruise on your face."

"It's probably a terrible day to be his soulmate every day," Hyunjae cackles again.

The fall of the skater boy causes the three of you to be late, though it was worth it. By the time you finally make it to class, the professor was already droning on about something on the next assignment, so you sneak in quietly and sit at the back while he's not looking.

"Maybe going to morning classes isn't such a bad idea when you can see stuff like this happen," Hyunjae whispers as he settles into his seat. The grin is still there, with teeth and all which was a rare occurrence.

"Are you suddenly awake now?" you whisper back.

He pulls out a notebook and writes the date, giving you a thumbs up enthusiastically. "Awake and ready to take on the day." It's not the correct date but you don't bother telling him.

When he turns to you again, he freezes. There's a look of confusion on his face that tells you he might've realized that the date he wrote was wrong or that he might've forgotten something important. But it soon turns into realization and then horror in under a second as he simply stares at you.

"What is it?"

Hyunjae's expression changes again and this time his lips curl into a mischievous smirk that could only mean he's up to no good.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. It's just that," he leans over to whisper in your ear, "you happen to be developing a nasty bruise right on your face."

Maybe you die a little inside.

Suddenly the idea of falling face first into a bushel of apples doesn't sound so funny anymore.

Hyunjae teases you about your supposed soulmate for the rest of the day. It's not surprising, really—he still teases you about your former crush on his soulmate after all, even though it's been years since freshman year of high school. And although you assure him that there's no way the skater boy is your soulmate, that it had to be a coincidence, you could still see the curl of his lip whenever he looks your way.

You're sure he would've dragged you over to wherever this rude skater boy was, determined to put an end to this mystery while getting a new reason to tease you. But he didn't have to. Because when you go back to the farmer's market tent after class for some fresh coffee and baked goods, the rude skater boy is there.

Only this time, he's not on a skateboard, nor is he falling into the fruit stands. This time, he's working there.

A blue vest covers his black hoodie with an obnoxious looking name tag that says "Sunwoo" when you get close enough to read it. There's a collection of colourful stickers on his cheek that conceal an area matching the one you'd smeared with emergency makeup on your own face, and his beanie is pulled low as if trying to cover as much of his face as possible.

A coincidence, you tell yourself. Besides, your actual soulmate had also given you bruises on the upper arm and lower shin yesterday, and you're sure this skater boy wouldn't have those.

"Y/N, where are you going?" Hyunjae singsongs like he's enjoying your misery. "Weren't we going to get coffee?"

"Um, let's go visit Younghoon instead?"

But he comes up to your group before you could effectively escape.

"Hey. Welcome to," the skater boy pauses, glancing back at the sign, "the farmer's market. Can I help you with anything?"

"Holy shit, he's actually working here," Hyunjae whispers to you so loudly that you're sure this Sunwoo guy could hear what he said. "How did that happen?"

The rude skateboarder scowls at the three of you, looking very disinterested. "They wanted someone hot to be the new face of their organization. Obviously."

"Couldn't have been a very nice face with that giant bruise on it," you whisper back to Hyunjae, just as loudly.

Although that's what you say, you can't help but notice that it was actually quite a nice face—plump lips, big eyes, and a sharp jawline that could cut someone. He was good-looking and he definitely knew it, perhaps a little too well because who brags about that to complete strangers? Why were all the good-looking ones like this?

"Ah, that's where I remember you guys from." The skater boy nods in Hyunjae's direction, "Definitely couldn't forget the pretty boy."

"Juyeon, are you hearing this?" You sigh, crossing your arms. "Can we g—"

"Oh, he's matched?" The Sunwoo guy raises a brow and then glances at Juyeon. Looks him up and down. "To quite the looker too, wow. Guess it's true what they say about hot people having hot soulmates."

"Bet your soulmate can't look too nice with all the bruises they get," you retort.

The skater boy sighs. "You really got to witness that moment, huh." He picks up a few of the fruits on the counter and sorts them in the baskets on the shelf. "Damn, really should've taken the motorcycle instead. But you see, I'm actually not that terrible at skateboarding. It only happened because I got so distracted by your beauty," he nods your way. "I guess you could say... I fell for you." And then there's the wink that you definitely saw coming—it's already his second wink at you and you've only been in his presence for a total of a minute.

"Are you kidding me? You nearly ran me over on your skateboard and you have the audacity to say stuff like this?"

You raise your hand jokingly as if to punch him, but then Juyeon's holding you back and shaking his head. "Hitting him won't do you any good, Y/N. Just in case he's... you know."

"Nah, we don't have to worry about that because there's no way he's my soulmate."

"Soulmate?" Sunwoo asks, eyes bouncing between you and the two others.

Hyunjae nudges you lightly, lips curling in amusement. "We're only stopping you from inflicting visible damage, but there are always other options. For example, bruises on legs are much easier to hide."

"Hmm, you're right. A kick should do it—"

Of course you weren't actually going to kick him. But even before you could finish your sentence, the rude skater boy is already turning his body away, dodging you while holding his hands out to protect himself.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I was just kidding," he pleads, running back behind the pop-up tent for protection. "But please don't; I just got a bruise there."

Juyeon tilts his head, brows furrowing. "Hey, Y/N. Maybe you're right that he's not your soulmate after all, since he has bruises that you don't have."

Yeah, thank goodness, you wanted to say. But you could only stare back at your friend in silence. Time seems to slow down.

Because when you lift your pantleg the slightest, it reveals the new bruise that you had noticed this morning. The same splash of aqua on your lower shin that has now deepened in colour and covers a little more area than before.

"Oh."

You feel like you're going to throw up.

In front of you, Sunwoo looks like he's about to faint.

Most people may not be lucky enough to have a nice meet-cute with their soulmate, but it felt like yours was more of a meet-ugly... literally.

No one talks about it this time, which you're very thankful for. But instead of the jokes and teasing that you expected to hear, there's a very obvious silence about anything to do with soulmates, as if Hyunjae and Juyeon were walking on eggshells when it came to the topic. It makes the whole situation feel too real when you were just trying to avoid thinking about it, and so, maybe the awkwardness wasn't better than their teasing after all.

Heading to the tutoring center after a study session with the soulmate duo has you walking by an area you don't normally pass by, and even from afar you could see just who hung out here. Their table stood out against the grassy fields and students scattered around, a monochromatic speck of dark hoodies and leather jackets amongst a sea of colour. You don't look too closely at the faces around the table, but it fit Sunwoo's image so well that it would've been a little surprising if he wasn't there.

And sure enough, he is there. You notice the girl sitting beside him first, so obviously flirting with the way she bends over as she laughs at something he says, her long hair falling over his shoulder. The way she clings to his arm and presses her whole body against him, and the way she hits him cutely. It's almost funny how she manages to get him right on the bruise on his arm, one that only you knew about. And only you could see the way he holds back a wince. But in the next moment, he looks up and suddenly his eyes are meeting yours.

Sunwoo blinks a couple of times before a knowing smirk appears on his lips. For a moment, he smiles back at the girl beside him; there's a twinkle in his eyes as if he's purposely turning up the charm, an abrupt change from the indifference that you'd seen just seconds earlier. She beams, nodding enthusiastically at everything he says. But to your surprise, she soon leaves their table looking the slightest bit disappointed.

And then he leaves the table to catch up to you.

"Hey, soulmate," he says. The smile on his face looks the same as when he smiled at her with the artificial sparkle in his eyes and all, and you want to hurl at how fake it is. Then there's how gross the word 'soulmate' sounds coming out of his mouth like it's just a joke to him, like he's rubbing this terrible situation in your face and laughing about it.

Typical fuckboy behaviour.

You speed up your steps a bit to shake him off. "Bye."

"Hey, wait up!"

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" you ask, still refusing to look at him or slow down your steps. "Like, with one of your girlfriends?"

"Aw, are you jealous? Don't worry, I'd rather be hanging out with you, soulmate."

You don't react to that, letting the silence fill the air between the two of you as he matches your quick stride without missing a beat. It feels strange to be walking beside him, like there are more eyes trained on you today as they pass by, more turning of heads.

"So how've you been? I haven't seen you around in a while."

"I was doing well until now," you say dully.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" he teases.

"In your dreams."

"I do hope you'd visit me in my dreams tonight, soulmate."

"So are you just going to keep following me?" you finally turn to ask when you're halfway across campus and he's showing no signs of leaving.

Sunwoo shakes his head. "Nah, I'm going that way too."

"If you say so."

The conversation, if you could even call it that, continues the same way the whole time he's by your side and it reminds you why it was so difficult to talk to him in the first place. The brief curiosity you had after your last meeting with him quickly fade, replacing itself with the original anger and annoyance you had towards him instead.

He tells you about some party happening this weekend (you tell him to take one of his girlfriends), then he invites you to go for a spin on his motorcycle (you tell him you don't trust him, especially not after that skateboard fall), and finally he asks for your number (you say it's the number of the local animal shelter because they take strays, not you).

The most you give him is your name, so that he might stop calling you by the S-word that you've come to hate so much. Though now you're not so sure if the S-word is soulmate, Sunwoo, or skater boy.

And then you finally arrive at your destination.

"Waitwaitwait." Sunwoo's eyes widen with realization once your steps finally stop, nearly walking right into the door of the tutoring center. Unfortunately, he stops in time. He looks at the sign on the door and blinks multiple times. "This is where you're going?"

It takes all your effort to hold back your laugh. "Yeah. Didn't you say you were going this way too?"

"Um. Right, yeah. Let's go."

To your surprise, he actually enters the room first.

"Hey," Jacob—the head tutor and administrator—greets as the two of you enter. He turns to Sunwoo, "Are you here to get tutored?"

"Um, I guess?"

"Alright." Jacob goes to grab the clipboard with the list of the tutors. "I'll see who's available today."

Sunwoo's eyes widen a considerable amount. "Wait, can't I be paired with Y/N?"

"Y/N is already paired with—"

"Hey, Y/N." As if on cue, Younghoon shows up. He takes a seat in his usual spot as if Sunwoo hadn't been standing right there, then sets a coffee cup on your desk. "I made you your favourite today."

"Aw, thanks Younghoon." You pop the lid off to take a look, and just as you expected, the usual heart design is floating at the top. "Wow, as pretty as always."

Sunwoo scoffs. "Younghoon? Why the fuck are you here?"

"Well look who it is." Younghoon glances at him up and down. Smiles a bit. "I told you about this long ago, but you just said it was for losers."

"When did I say that?" Sunwoo mutters under his breath, the frown on his face growing. "But how do you even know Y/N?"

"We were paired for a project in bio last term," you answer, finally sitting down beside Younghoon.

"Oh, was it the project?" There's a teasing smile on Younghoon's lips when he looks at you. "Didn't we meet at the coffee shop when you spilled your drink all over me?"

"I—wait that was you?" you ask, the embarrassment threatening to show on your cheeks at any moment. While you do recall having spilled a drink on a cute barista the first time at that new cafe on campus, you never made the connection that that cute barista had been him. "And you still remember that?"

Younghoon chuckles. "How could I forget? It's not every day when a customer spills a drink on the barista."

"Ugh, don't remind me; that was so embarrassing."

Sunwoo visibly stiffens. The frown on his face deepens with every second that goes by, turning into a permanent scowl as you continue to chat away with Younghoon while ignoring him. It makes for such an unbearably funny sight that you have to bite down on your lip several times to stop from bursting into laughs, and Younghoon wasn't doing much better.

"Yeah... so anyway, I'll be your tutor today," Jacob says brightly, pulling Sunwoo away from where he'd planted himself at your desk. Part of you felt guilty because Jacob probably has no idea what he was getting himself into, but one look at the betrayed expression on Sunwoo's face says it's all worth it.

The session goes well but the highlight was definitely seeing the skater boy's fuming expression every time you look at him.

"You should've called me!" Hyunjae pouts, waving around his phone in your face. "I would've walked right out of that group meeting and run across campus just to see the look on his face."

"You can come with me today," you joke. "Maybe he'll show up."

Getting the soulmate duo caught up on the latest skater boy story had Hyunjae laughing so hard within your first few sentences that the three of you get kicked out of the library—not that it was the first time something like that has happened. So you'd relocated to the courtyard and then told them about the way Sunwoo fumed at Younghoon and then scowled at you for a whole hour after getting ambushed by that tutoring session.

Talking about him makes you realize that maybe you didn't hate him. He'd become somewhat akin to the popular boys back in high school; someone who always annoyed the girls and never did their work. Someone you'd never fall for, of course, but someone who made life a little more interesting. Besides, he was just playing around, and you never saw him as a soulmate anyway.

Juyeon wiggles his eyebrows. "Was he jealous of Younghoon or something?"

"Nah, he's just mad he didn't get a chance to make me fall for him like everyone else does," you mutter. "He's just playing."

"Wait, look here." Hyunjae suddenly reaches over to gently cups your chin, turning your face towards him and then proceeds to observe closely at various angles. "Y/N... I think your boy has gotten himself into another altercation."

It's nothing new, but there's still a sinking feeling in your heart. You had been beginning to think that maybe you had some kind of positive influence on Sunwoo since no significant bruises had appeared after meeting him. That maybe simply knowing who and where his soulmate is would make him back off from the reckless behaviour a bit, for your sake.

But as the beginnings of purples appear on your face and knuckles with no signs of stopping, it seemed like all that had just been wishful thinking. Why did you have so much faith in him in the first place? Why did you think that meeting your soulmate would be so impactful on both of your lives?

In the end, he's still the same person that he's always been. Maybe you'd just have to consider it as his payback for being roped into a tutoring session.

You heave a sigh. "Okay, I guess I'll get going now since I need to look presentable and all. Jacob would freak out if I showed up like this."

"If skater boy goes today, try not to kill him, okay?" Juyeon gives you a sad smile and ruffles your hair.

"I see no reason not to," you groan. Then point at your own face, "How can people like him when he goes around looking like this?"

"Hey Y/N, we're only trying to save your own image here." Hyunjae glances at you up and down, pressing his lips together as he shakes his head. "Bruises or not, I don't think you can afford to be any uglier."

"And this is why I hate you." Getting up, you quickly sling your bag over your shoulder. Juyeon gets a soft pat on the head while you make sure to give Hyunjae the hardest flick you can muster. "Bye loser."

"Shut up; you love me."

What surprises you first when you get to the tutoring center is the worried look on Jacob's face. His eyes flicker to you the moment you step into the room, and then every few seconds as he organizes the files on his desk.

"What?" you finally ask. "Is there something on my face?"

An ironic question because yes, there are bruises are your face today. Though you made sure they were covered nicely with the emergency makeup you always carry with you.

"No." He hesitates only for a moment before walking over to you. "Y/N, that guy from last time..."

"Sunwoo?"

"Yeah him," Jacob nods slowly. "Um, if he's bothering you or anything like that. Just let me know? We can get him kicked out or banned from here."

You nearly choke on your own spit. "Is that what it looked like?"

"Well, he spent the entire session looking like he wanted to murder you—or maybe it was directed at Younghoon; I'm not sure—so um, yeah."

"Nah, Jake. He's—" my soulmate, you were about to say. But something about acknowledging it makes your stomach twist. "He's just someone I know. Who probably needs better grades." You shoot him a quick smile. "Thank you for worrying about me though."

You half expected Sunwoo to not show up since he got baited into the last session after all, but for some reason, you find yourself constantly glancing over at the door. And for some reason, he does show up.

There's a relaxed smirk on his face this time—a complete change from the startled then bitter looks of the last time. Though not much of his face is visible underneath a baseball cap and the hood of yet another black hoodie over it.

And then you realize why.

There are splotches of colour around his eye and trailing down his cheek until his jaw; the same ones that you worked so hard to cover up just minutes earlier. There are a few small bandages around his fingers, and his knuckles are red with fresh wounds.

"Hey soulmate." Sunwoo casually sets his bag down on your desk and grabs a nearby chair, setting it down right beside yours. "How've you been? Where's my hug?"

"Not in this nation," you say dryly. You open your notes slowly, refusing to look at him despite the way he peers at you.

"Oh? Then which?"

"Your imagination."

Sunwoo laughs loudly as if you'd just said the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "You're funny, soulmate. If you keep this up, I'll be falling for you in no time."

"No thanks."

"Y/N, is Younghoon coming today?" Jacob holds up the clipboard, checking off the list of students in the room.

"Um, I'm not sure—"

"He's not coming," Sunwoo answers for you. Then adds quietly, "You're stuck with me, soulmate."

You ignore the last part. "Did Younghoon tell you that?" Their interaction had been quite strange last time but you're sure they knew each other somehow. The way they talked made them sound like friends, though rivals could also be a fitting description.

An easy shrug. "He didn't have to."

"What does that mean?"

"Younghoon won't be coming anymore."

"Did you say something to Younghoon to make him stop coming here?"

The corner of his lip twitches the slightest.

"What, did you threaten him or something?"

"What makes you think I had something to do with him not showing up?" Sunwoo says innocently. He leans back in his seat and there's a faint smirk on his face that makes him look satisfied, contradicting his words. "The last I checked, he seemed to have gotten good enough grades to not need to study with you anymore."

There's something about the lack of a text from Younghoon paired with Sunwoo's relaxed demeanour that doesn't sit right with you. As much as you wanted to believe him, the fresh bruises on his face and hands told of a more complicated story.

You sigh, finally turning to the rude skater boy. "Alright, fine. Why are you here?"

"To see you, soulmate," he drawls lazily. You really hope that Jacob doesn't hear any of this conversation because you would be quite mortified.

"So do you think your grades don't need the help?"

Sunwoo smiles a little. "Okay, I know I'm hot and all but that doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"You think you're hot with all those bruises?" Standing up so suddenly earns you a concerned glance from Jacob. "You know what? Come with me." You take Sunwoo's hand and pull him out of the classroom with you, not once looking back at him.

It's empty in the stairwell when you finally stop and turn to him. Dropping his hand immediately.

"You're cute when you're angry, you know?"

"Just stop."

"I'm only telling the truth," he shrugs.

"Then tell me, how did you get all these?" Your fingers ghost over the patches of deep blues on his face and he flinches. Looks away. "Did you... get into another fight? Perhaps with Younghoon?"

His gaze snaps to your face.

"Why?"

Sunwoo groans, leaning back against the wall behind him. "That fucker is totally into you."

"So?"

"You're my soulmate," he says bluntly, frowning back at you.

"So? What, are you jealous or something?"

"What if I am? What then?"

"I don't buy that," you scoff, crossing your arms. "You've clearly never cared about me at all."

His eyes flash. "What do you mean?"

"Have you even once thought that your actions might affect your soulmate as well? I've always had to wear layers of clothing and makeup to cover up these hideous patches just to look like a normal person. Seriously, how can you think that a fight would solve anything?"

Sunwoo is silent now, gaze back to the ground where he kicks around some dust.

You sigh, turning to leave. "But if you do care, then maybe try getting your life together first. You aren't going to be anyone's soulmate at the rate of which you've been getting those bruises all your life."

More than a week has passed since that incident with Sunwoo, and you hadn't seen him around at all—not in person nor in the form of bruises. It was as if the words you'd spoken to him had completely vanished him from your life, just as you had wanted. But even though he'd been out of sight, he hasn't been off your mind for a moment because of your growing sense of guilt. You'd spent so much time building up these angry feelings towards your soulmate that it became hard to see from other perspectives, and maybe things were not as straightforward as you thought. Maybe he didn't deserve the harsh words you'd thrown at him, and he didn't deserve to have such negative energy coming from someone who barely even knows him.

Because before being soulmates, you guys were merely strangers.

You spot him the moment he walks in the lecture hall. Face half covered by his hood and bag casually slung over one shoulder, he walks in nonchalantly a minute before the lecture is supposed to start. It isn't until he's at the front of the lecture hall that the chatter in the room dies down, getting noticeably quieter. The way his eyes scan the crowd slowly makes you shrink into your seat a little, and you keep your head low just in case. But it's no use.

The hush in the room turns into whispers echoing off the walls when he slowly walks up the steps, but he doesn't seem to pay them any attention when his gaze is fixed on you. A casual stare, without intensity. Somehow, it still makes your stomach twist.

And just as you'd been dreading but expecting, he stops right in front of you and sits in the seat beside you.

"What are you doing?" you hiss at him in a low a voice as you could muster.

He gives you a confused frown. "I'm coming to class?"

In the background, your name was already being thrown around amidst the whispers just like that day he walked beside you across campus. You could only imagine what the rumours about you would look like—would you be known as Sunwoo's new fling? Someone that others would be jealous of? A new tally on his body count?

You sigh and rephrase the question. "Why are you sitting here?"

"It was an empty seat."

"Are you even enrolled in this class? I've never seen you here before."

He raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so were you looking for me?"

You roll your eyes, ignoring the urge to facepalm. The feelings of guilt you'd had earlier completely disappear with his reminder of why you'd snapped at him in the first place. What was the point of talking to him when every response was either a joke or straight up flirty? "Yeah, you wish you were that important."

"I figured it'd be easier for you to see me here instead of looking for me at the tutoring center."

"I—hey! I was not looking for you."

Sunwoo doesn't reply but a small smile appears on his face, the first genuine smile that you've seen from him in the couple of weeks since you've known about his existence. There's none of the fake charm and rough persona that he tried to project before; all of a sudden the harsh lines and black and whites of his image blur and soften, melting into an image of a soulmate that almost makes you forget to breathe for a second.

Maybe he was too distracting for his next words are so soft that they have you second guessing if you heard correctly.

"Y/N, I'm just kidding. I've actually decided to stop skipping class from now on. I'm going to get my shit together and do better."

"What?"

There's a playful twinkle in his eye. "I'm going to be so perfect after this that you will have no choice but to fall for me."

Soon class starts and Sunwoo doesn't say anything to you for the rest of the lecture, diligently taking notes in his messy scrawl across pages. Sometimes you can feel his eyes on you, glancing over briefly from beneath the edge of his hood and turning away just before you could ever catch him staring.

You're not sure if he would've said something to you after lecture ends, but you don't give him the chance to as you quickly leave to meet your friends at the library.

Though when you get to the library, Hyunjae and Juyeon are among those people who turn and gawk at you as you enter.

"Are the rumors true? Did he actually show up to class and even sit beside you?" Hyunjae whispers with the excitement in his voice and eyes filling to the brim. "Did he say anything?"

Oh. So that's what it was about.

Juyeon's eyes gleam with just as much anticipation, leaning forward to hear everything you'd say. "Is he even in your major? I've never heard you mention him before."

You sigh. "Yeah."

"To all of the above?" Hyunjae's jaw drops. "Details, Y/N. Give us the details."

Turns out it was Eric, a loud guy in your class, who told his friend Changmin, who then told Hyunjae about it. With pictures too! Not that they were good quality photos, but even from the pixelated images you could tell that sitting beside Sunwoo slouching in his hoodie with the hood up makes you look much uglier in comparison. Great, not only is he making you look hideous with the bruises, but now he's also making you look ugly just by being beside you.

At this rate, Eric and Changmin have probably told everyone about today's events, but it didn't really matter to you since sooner or later they'll all find out about you guys being matched anyway.

"So." Hyunjae furrows his brows, a puzzled look ghosting across his face after hearing about all the events that had happened between you and the rude skater boy. Which wasn't much, really, despite how the shifting of his face through all these different micro-expressions may have suggested. "He's really trying for this, huh?"

"What do you mean?" you counter. "That's exactly what fuckboys do. Duh?"

But your sarcastic remark is not met with one of Hyunjae's usual joking responses. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all and there's a brief pause as the soulmate duo exchange a look, making you very aware that you're the third wheel. For once, you can't tell what they're thinking. What was the big deal about the story you told? Surely, they couldn't be thinking that the skater boy was genuinely interested in you, because that's simply ridiculous.

Hyunjae waves dismissively and then his usual, easy smile is back on his lips. "You're right. Never mind. So," he leans in super close until you could count the number of eyelashes he has—which are very long and make you all the more envious—and then peers into your eyes, "are his tactics working?"

"Are you kidding me?" You push his face away and finally open the textbook sitting on the table. The one that you were supposed to be studying from this past hour. "I refuse to be swayed by a fuckboy. Even if he is my soulmate."

"Sometimes even fuckboys catch feelings," Juyeon says, shrugging before turning to his notes.

If you'd thought Sunwoo's tactics would've just ended with him actually attending class and sitting beside you in it, you were entirely wrong. Somehow your days quickly become filled with his teasing 'hey soulmate' at every turn from where he waits outside your dorm to walk to you to class, to when he monopolizes your time at the tutoring center. It's a mystery how he even figured out which dorm you lived in—Juyeon had shrugged innocently while Hyunjae had simply laughed and said that Sunwoo follows you around like how you followed Juyeon around all those years ago.

You're definitely glad the soulmate duo stay away whenever he's around though; picturing Hyunjae pretending to vomit was all too easy when he wrinkles his nose and pulls Juyeon away every time he spots you with Sunwoo.

"I got you your favourite today," Sunwoo announces as soon as he walks into the tutoring center. There's an air of confidence today despite the way he looks the same as usual in his black hoodie with the hood up. His loud footsteps make Jacob look up alarmingly, though you suspected that the head tutor has gotten used to your annoying student by now. "Just for you, soulmate."

Then he sets down the coffee cup on your desk. A familiar gesture, though just not from him.

"What?" Sunwoo says when notices how you're just staring at the cup in front of you. "It's your favourite latte or whatever." And when you still don't answer, he continues, "You're looking at it as if I poisoned it or something."

You look up. "Did you?"

"Oh please. The worst I could've done is spit in it."

You could only stare at him.

"Hey, spit isn't even that bad—it would just be the same as kissing me, you know." He settles down in his seat beside you and leans back, crossing his arms. "Which you'll be doing eventually anyways."

"How are you so sure about that?" you ask dryly.

"Because you're going to fall for me," he says with certainty, a pleased look on his face. "Very soon."

When you turn your attention back to the cup, the first thing you do is pop off the lid. A habit now, from when you used to check what Younghoon had drawn each time he brought you a drink he made. Though the unexpected leaf floating at the top today makes you realize that he'd mostly been drawing hearts for the past while.

Sunwoo snorts at the frown on your face. "Well obviously I'm not going to let him send you hearts in your drinks anymore. You'd think that with all the hearts you've gotten, you might've noticed his big fat crush on you by now."

"I thought he drew those in everyone's drinks," you mutter, quickly putting the lid back on the cup and filing that information away for another time. "But is that why you decided to get me this?"

"Hey, can't a guy do something nice for you?" He switches to perching on the desk beside you, swinging his legs back and forth. "But I mean. This way you won't need to see him ever again."

You shoot him a glare and he just cackles.

Similar small gestures continue throughout the term. It's as if he took an entire crash course on how to be a gentleman, or the closest he'd ever come to being one anyways. But while his actions say one thing, his lips say another as he constantly throws around the 'have you fallen for me yet,' even upgrading the 'where's my hug?' to 'where's my kiss?'

And the worst part is, you find yourself letting him do all this. You let him take your hand, let him swing your arms as you walk across campus like a typical campus couple. You let him pull you in for the briefest of hugs in front of your residence building before parting ways. You let him send you the good morning and good night texts, even if you don't reply most of the time.

You let him because you knew there should be no risk of falling for him.

"Are you cold?" Sunwoo asks when walks you back to your dorm after class one night.

It's already dark outside and for once you're grateful to have a walking buddy even if he wasn't your first or second choice. Though your first and second options have been ditching you more frequently—even the study sessions in the library with them became few and sparse when Sunwoo happened to be in your major while they were not.

"Nope," you respond, more out of habit than anything. It's a lie; the cool breeze seems to blow right through your clothes with every step, and for once you can't make fun of Sunwoo's fashion since that beanie would at least be keeping him warm.

He laughs. You shoot him a glare.

But in the next moment, he's taking your ice-cold hand between his warm ones. Warming your hand with his breath a little before he laces your fingers with his, and then placing them both in his pocket.

"If you wanted me to hold your hand, you could've just said so," he breaks into a grin, the usual teasing sparkle in his eyes as he gives your hand a squeeze, "soulmate."

"Hey—I did not!"

It might be because your view is obstructed by the wind induced tears, but for a second there seems to be something in his eyes that's a little softer than usual; a slip of brightness between the cracks of the walls he's always had up. If it were from anyone else, you might've said it was a look of fondness.

"Anyway," you quickly change the subject a few moments later, glad to have already arrived at steps of your residence building. "This is me."

Sunwoo nods and pulls your hands out of his pocket but doesn't let go. He shifts slightly so that he's on the step below the one you're standing on, spinning you around so that you're face to face.

It's then when you notice that he's quite tall. Maybe you never realized since you've always been hanging out with the soulmate duo, but now that he's in front of you, the step puts you that much closer to his face. Close enough for you to see his round eyes, his plump lips, and his beautiful sun-kissed skin, no longer hidden under the prominent colours of bruises and swelling.

It's supposed to be annoying—wasn't this was practically the same as Hyunjae always being up in your face, trying to annoy you? You're supposed to push him away, roll your eyes, laugh it off.

But for some reason, you can't. His gaze seems to pin you to the spot, making you unable to do anything except stare at the way his fluffy hair lands near his eyes. It makes you forget everything except for the way he swallows, the way he wets his lips before pressing them together. None of this makes it feel like he's the popular boy at school annoying you anymore.

"You're beautiful," Sunwoo says quietly, breaking the silence. "Can I... have a kiss?"

It's something he always says but this time, it doesn't come out sounding like a joke.

The kiss—it was really meant for his cheek. Something compels you to close the mere centimeters between you, an act that is done all too easily when his face is right there. But as your eyelids flutter shut just as the warmth of his skin was all but against your lips, he moves. Shifts ever so slightly so that the heat of his cheek is actually the heat of his lips. On yours.

You quickly jump back, not giving yourself a chance to find out if they're as supple as they look.

"H-hey!" is all you manage to get out.

The playful smile is back when he gives your hand a squeeze before finally letting go. "Just a little teaser of what we could be doing."

Without another word, he gives you a bit of a wave and leaps down the stairs. Leaving you standing there, wondering if your shivers are because of the wind and if the slight flush on his cheeks was from the cold.

Sk8ter boi: u up?

You: if this is some kind of booty call then no

You: call one of ur other girls lol

Sk8ter boi: you're the only one for me

Sk8ter boi: soulmateeee <3

Sk8ter boi: come out for a while?

You leave him on read, even putting your phone away and turning off the light. Closing your eyes. But it soon becomes apparent that there's no hope for sleep to come with there's a small nagging in your stomach. It compels you to throw on a jacket and get out of your dorm, the same kind feeling that compelled you to actually kiss him the other day on these very steps.

Though you don't count it as a kiss. It was definitely more like a brush of lips—hardly even touching for longer than a millisecond. Besides, he'd totally tricked you.

He's waiting on the steps in his usual getup, kicking around a rock aimlessly, and it takes you a second to recognize his backside without the hood on.

"Sunwoo, it's so late. What are you doing here?"

He meets your eyes with an easy smile. "Just wanted to see you."

"At this hour?"

"Every hour is missing Y/N hours," he teases, and you come very close to pretending to barf. "How are you? Are you cold?"

"I am not falling for that again." You glance him up and down warily.

"I wanted to show you something." Sunwoo shrugs, taking a few steps down and then beckoning you over. You don't even reach the bottom of the stairs before you realize your hand is back in his.

The 'something' that the skater boy wanted to show you turns out to be an old building on campus, one you've never had class in but one that you've walked through many times during your time here.

"Um, what's so special about this?"

Sunwoo's smile seems to grow at your question, and he simply points up instead of answering. Following his finger leads you to a ladder at the side of the building, going up to the roof. He gently tugs you, and soon enough the two of you are standing at the base of the ladder.

"The roof? You want to go up there?"

He probably catches your wide-eyed stare. "Aw, is Y/N a bit of a scaredy cat?"

"No!"

"Then go ahead," he says, gesturing towards the ladder.

"I just don't know why this is what you called me out for." You give him a glare and finally put a hand on the cool metal. "But if I fall and die, I hope the marks make you so ugly that no one else will like you ever again."

Sunwoo barks a laugh at that. "Don't worry. I'll catch you if you fall." He pauses briefly then adds in a quieter voice, "And I don't need anyone else to like me."

The climb up isn't too bad since the building isn't particularly high, and you don't get a chance to look down. Though your hands still grip each rung of the ladder as tightly as possible.

You had expected a nice view once you reached the top just based on how Sunwoo wanted to come here, but it really wasn't impressive. All you could see were the fields and trees on campus, though there's a gentle breeze in the air that makes it seem a little more thrilling.

"Come sit." He settles down on sort of platform, gazing at you with a sparkle in his eyes.

You can hear the quiet hum of electricity so surely this roof was supposed to be for building maintenance or something? And surely, being here is already breaking some sort of rule on campus? But tonight, maybe you decide to trust him.

"It's not so bad up here, right?" The wind ruffles his hair, and you suddenly realize that you've barely ever seen him without some sort of hat or hood on. He's never shown the world more than just a sliver of his face and you don't understand why because his hair is beautiful. His curls look so soft under the moonlight, and it makes you wonder how they would feel between your fingers. If they're as soft as they look.

"How did you even find out about this place?"

"There was a ladder, so I climbed it," he laughs. "Then I started coming up here whenever I needed to think. It's quite peaceful."

"Can't say there's much of a view though."

Sunwoo gasps dramatically, looking at you with wide eyes. "What? No, the view is amazing. Come here, I'll show you." He waves you over and then leans back until he's lying down, staring up at the sky.

You follow suit and make sure to leave a small distance between the two of you. But instead of your head meeting the rough surface of the platform like you expected, it lands on the softness that's Sunwoo's arm instead. He moves, pulling you in until you're settled in the crook of his shoulder.

"Look, it's the big dipper." With his free hand, he points to the sky just towards your left. "And there's Aries," he points to a patch of sky just above you, "and there's Capricorn."

Looking at the sky where he points reveals nothing except for the dots of light from airplanes in the distance and wisps of cloud. The moon seemed to be the only celestial body in the sky that you could see.

"Um. I'm not sure if you need your eyes checked, but there's actually nothing there," you say, giving up on the lack of a view and turning to him instead.

"Wow, couldn't you have just agreed?" He whines, lips forming a pout. "This is fake star gazing; I point at something that's not there, and you say you see it too. And then we marvel at its beauty."

"Why would you marvel at something that you can't see?"

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." Sunwoo suddenly turns to face you. "Why look at the sky when I could be staring at you?"

"Okay, stop."

"You want to play a game?"

"Yeah? And where is this going?" You definitely did not trust him with this.

"Let's do twenty questions. We'll take turns asking and if you can't answer something, then hmm," he pauses. Hums as he thinks. "Then you owe me a kiss."

"Sure. That's easy."

His eyes widen, "You want to kiss me that bad?"

"No! I meant the questions," you say dully. "And what if you can't answer something?"

"Then I'll give you a kiss, of course," he singsongs. "Hmm, have you ever had liked anyone? Other than me, obviously."

"Who says I like you? But yes, I have," you say bluntly, sputtering with disbelief at why he would start with this. "Why, have you not?"

"Well, yeah. But nothing too serious because I knew it wouldn't work out. Everyone's only interested in finding their soulmates in this world." The last part comes out sounding bitter.

"Yeah, I get it. I had a crush on Juyeon when I first met him, but it was—quite obvious that that wasn't going to work out."

"Juyeon? The pretty boy's soulmate?" he asks with sudden interest.

"Um. Please don't go beat him up?"

Sunwoo simply cackles at your words.

"Seriously, please don't. Hyunjae would kill you, you know."

"You don't think I could take on both of them?"

"Sunwoo!"

"I'm just joking with you," he laughs. "Don't worry. I'm not going to get into any more fights, Y/N. You are going to live bruise-free for the rest of your life."

"I didn't mean—"

"Well, unless you want me to mark you up sometime."

"S-Sunwoo!"

"Alright, next question. Have you ever looked for me?"

"Yeah," you admit. "It was not a fun time."

His eyes are unreadable for the most part when you tell him about the boxing matches, the interest in stunt acting. The days the patches of colour on your skin acted like little puzzle pieces, hints to where your soulmate could be.

It's only after you tell him that you start to think maybe you shouldn't have. Maybe he thinks the whole soulmates thing is stupid. Maybe he thinks you're stupid for believing in it.

"You thought I could've been a boxer?" he chuckles. "That's cute."

You roll your eyes at him. "Well, who thought you'd be some kid getting into fights all the time for no reason."

"So were you disappointed when you met me?"

You open your mouth with a sarcastic reply ready at the tip of your tongue but for some reason it doesn't seem appropriate to say anymore. His voice was still light and casual, but there's a dreading feeling in your heart with the fear that the conversation is really going to go down the slippery slope that you both have been dancing around. One that you both may never come back from.

"Don't worry," he says when the silence stretches a little too long, "you can tell me the truth, you know."

"I guess you already know the answer to that based on what I said to you that time in the stairwell." You focus on the curve of his lips instead of meeting his gaze. "I was disappointed that you turned out to be a popular fuckboy on the verge of failing out of school."

"Hey—give me some credit. I haven't hooked up with anyone since meeting you," he says hotly. "And I'm not on the verge of failing out of school. The popular part is correct though."

"Wow, congrats. You get a gold star for that." The sarcasm drips out of your voice, but he doesn't show any signs of acknowledging it as he laughs. "But Sunwoo, I'm not disappointed. I was surprised and in denial at first, and let's be real, the first few times we met went quite terribly. I don't know, I guess I was too harsh to judge you like that right away."

This time it's his turn to stay silent.

"Wait, that wasn't even supposed to be my turn!" You give him a push.

"Oh, oops." There's a bit of a smile on his face but his wall of indifference was still up. "Okay, you can ask me anything."

You take a deep breath. "Do you even believe in soulmates?"

"Oh," he says slowly, frowning. "No one's ever asked me this before. But to be honest, not really. Or at least I didn't before." Sunwoo pauses and you think that's it for his answer, but to your surprise, he continues. "I guess it's because my parents aren't soulmates, so I thought it was whatever at first, that it didn't matter. But when things started getting bad between them, I kind of just gave up on the idea of love completely."

"Oh."

It wasn't unheard of to spend a lifetime without meeting your soulmate, and marriage between non-soulmate pairs wasn't exactly rare either. It just wasn't something that you'd really thought about, seeing as the people in your life had all found their perfect matches.

He tells you about the happiness of his childhood, the way the concept of soulmates wasn't even introduced to him until he started school. How his parents got strange looks when people noticed their marks didn't match, how he became determined to forget about the whole soulmates thing. He tells you about lashing out at the world, watching love fall apart and then grow together in different ways, hating how the world made the whole soulmates thing seem inevitable. Hating the fact that he had one, and then refusing to believe he did.

"I still think that this whole soulmate thing is bullshit though, in general. People should be allowed to love whoever they want to, and besides, love can bloom anywhere. It shouldn't be just limited to soulmates," he states, brows furrowing. "But the bruises sure are annoying as fuck; I'm sorry I never realized that you'd be suffering through the consequences of my actions."

There's a stillness that lingers in the air as you quickly turn to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill out. This reveal of a more vulnerable side of him has you stunned, not knowing what to say or how to react when he's never let you see this side of him before. It makes the seed of guilt grow: the guilt that you blindly judged him and hated him for a lifetime, that you probably still would if you hadn't had the chance to meet him and get to know him like this.

But now that the first step has been taken down this path, there was no going back. There was something that you had to ask.

You turn back to him. "Does finding your soulmate change anything?"

He seems to hold his breath as he thinks. Face impassive. "I don't know, Y/N. Does it? Do you want it to?"

Thoughts fly at a thousand miles per hour through your mind, each possible answer threatening to throw you off the edge of the cliff you were cautiously teetering on. You'd known that this was going to be a conversation that your undefined relationship would never recover from, but you were not ready for it to hit you like this.

So you grab him and then your lips are meeting his.

He makes a sputtering sound from the back of his throat, definitely not expecting your bold move. But he quickly goes to kiss you back a moment later. You pull away.

"Have you fallen for me yet?" Sunwoo whispers after catching his breath. The casual line he keeps throwing around no longer seems so casual now. As he searches your eyes for an answer, you could see how full blown his pupils are and how dark his gaze has become as it gradually trails down to your lips. Dark with a sparkle from the reflection of the moon, just like the starless sky.

"And what if I have?" you repeat his words from the time in the stairwell. It no longer sounds like a taunt. "What then?"

He doesn't answer but then his mouth slowly curves into a smile.

And then he's kissing you.

His mouth is hot and his lips are everything you imagined with how soft and supple they are, fitting so well against yours. He pulls you closer until there's no space between you, until you can feel his breath hitch, until you find out that his hair really is as soft as it looked. Beneath the smell of his cologne is a faint sweetness that's so distinctly him that it's like you're breathing in Sunwoo Sunwoo Sunwoo. And—you didn't know that it could feel like this. You didn't know that kissing someone could be so overwhelming that it makes the world spin and makes your heart feel like it would jump out of your chest. You didn't know his every touch would feel like electricity running through your veins, that the muffled moans he makes would be so addicting.

It was exhilarating. It was scary. Maybe this is what it's like to be with a soulmate. Maybe this is what it's like to be in love.

In love.

Wait—

You break the kiss and pull away from him. Gasping to catch your breath as everything rushes to you all at once.

Sunwoo gives you a bit of a questioning look before the wall of indifference is sliding back into place. There's a gentle smile, not the kind he showed the world but not the ones he'd secretly shown you either. It doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"We should probably get going," he murmurs, sitting up and reaching for your hand. "It's late and you have morning class."

It's only when you're back in your dorm that you realize neither of you answered each other's last questions.

Sunwoo doesn't text you.

He doesn't read your texts either, for that matter; the couple of short messages you sent remain unread and unopened for the next few days. For once, your phone is awfully silent, and it makes you wonder if this is what it felt like to be ghosted by him. If this is what it felt like to be anyone other than his soulmate.

It's like he disappeared from your life as quickly as he'd entered it.

Maybe he finally decided that he's had enough, that he's lost interest in you. And maybe it was a good thing because you didn't know how things could possibly proceed after last night. How could you possibly pretend like there was nothing between you after everything that's happened? How could you possibly endure seeing his flirty facade when you now know he's so much more than that?

There's only silence in replace of the comforting presence to walk to you class, and an empty seat next to you in your shared lecture. The stares and whispers are back this time, and even Eric sends you a questioning glance to which you respond with a shrug.

Jacob gives you worried looks throughout your time at the tutoring center when Sunwoo doesn't show up, though he never outright asks. Which you're grateful for, because you're not quite sure how it would feel to acknowledge the problem that's been eating away at you.

Because when you think about it, you hadn't even realized just how much of your life Sunwoo had taken up—all of your waking moments had consisted of him trying to worm his way into your heart. How he was constantly being up in your face, throwing around cheesy lines and the ever so casual 'soulmate'. There were the small gestures like getting you coffee, walking you up to your door, heck, even the fake stargazing. Holding your hand, warming it up. Lips fitting so well against yours. The genuine smiles he'd shown you, different from the fake ones he'd plaster on for the rest of the world. And then there was the seemingly daily check-in of have you fallen for me yet?

And—oh.

You'd fallen for him.

He did it. He won. He got you to fall for him just as he wanted, just like he'd joked about every day.

And your heart sinks at the realization.

"Okay, spill." Juyeon sits you down at cafeteria after class with a platter of fries in front of you. Comfort food, he'd said, shooing away Hyunjae's hand when he tried to steal one. "What's been bothering you?"

You heave a sigh and then begin with the last time you saw Sunwoo on the rooftop. A night that had started with breaking the rules and mediocre views, ending with deep talks and kissing. You had to admit that it'd been romantic at some point, but had it been a date? Had anything between you two been... anything?

"So you guys kissed?" Hyunjae's eyes fill to the brim with excitement as he leans towards you. "Like, with tongue and all?"

"Okay, ew. Just because you're comfortable sharing things about your sex life does not mean I am." You push his face away just as Juyeon turns into a mess of coughs.

"Sex life?" Hyunjae repeats, entirely ignoring the way his soulmate is now sporting a furious blush. "Who said anything about sex life? Are you saying you had s—"

"Shut up," you quickly cover his mouth for your own sake. And Sunwoo's. And Juyeon's. "That is so not the point of this conversation."

Juyeon clears his throat. "So he hasn't contacted you at all since that night?"

"He has not," you sigh, reluctantly letting go of Hyunjae. "Guess he ghosted like the typical fuckboy? I shouldn't have expected anything from him."

"But it doesn't sound like he's afraid of commitment though," Juyeon says slowly, deep in thought. "He's made the effort to start going to classes and to get to know you."

"Doesn't he do that with everyone he flirts with?" you mutter under your breath.

"But he hasn't," Hyunjae crosses his arms, "flirted with anyone else since meeting you."

"That's a lie; I totally saw him—"

"He's afraid of being rejected by you," Juyeon finally says.

"Wait, what?"

Juyeon nods and even Hyunjae is staring at him with confusion.

"Okay, what do you know that I don't?" Hyunjae blinks at his soulmate, peering at him intensely.

"It was just something Eric said," Juyeon shrugs. "He was mostly making fun of Sunwoo for how much he's changed since meeting you," he nods your way, "but he also said that Sunwoo thought he wouldn't be good enough. Like he was afraid you'd never see him as a soulmate."

"Since when did you become so wise?" Hyunjae says, patting Juyeon on the head. Then his jaw drops when the words sink in. "Wait, you're only telling Y/N this now?"

"Only because Y/N still doesn't believe that lover boy's feelings are genuine," Juyeon huffs, crossing his arms. "The universe was supposed to straighten itself without my interference."

"So much for being confident that I would fall for him."

"But," Hyunjae says deliberately, "didn't you?"

"No—" you start, and then stop.

As if he could see exactly what you had been ruminating about for the past few days, Hyunjae's jaw drops even lower than the previous time. "Oh my god."

"Okay, fine!" you confess only because he already saw right through you. "But it's not a good thing."

"You had no qualms with falling for someone who's not your soulmate but now you're worried about falling for your actual soulmate?" Hyunjae raises an eyebrow and then cocks his head over at Juyeon.

"Ugh, you're never going to let me live, are you?" You stifle a groan from where your face is buried in your hands. It's not usually embarrassing whenever Hyunjae teases you about your former crush on Juyeon, but this comparison makes your cheeks immediately heat up. Maybe because there is some truth to it. "I'm sorry that Juyeon is too hot for you?"

Juyeon laughs while Hyunjae glares at you.

"Not the point," Hyunjae gives a dismissing wave. "It should be easy, Y/N. It should be like falling into place with someone, not falling off a cliff like how you're making it sound."

"It's scary though. With someone who's not your soulmate, you might not care as much because maybe it won't work out anyway. But with your soulmate, this is like the one chance of your lifetime."

"You're right, but you have one who genuinely cares for you. What's the danger in that?" Juyeon asks.

"The danger is that he doesn't even believe in soulmates." You finally take a fry, already cold by now but comforting, nonetheless. And then you think back to that night on the rooftop. What he'd said about soulmates, then what he'd asked you.

I don't know, Y/N. Does it? Do you want it to?

A question you hadn't answered.

"Just make it clear to him how you feel," Juyeon continues when you don't say anything else.

"Easier said than done," you whine. "It's like he completely disappeared. No one knows where he is and he's not answering my texts either."

"Oh that's easy." Hyunjae's lip quirks up, holding your gaze as if distracting you from when he goes to steal a fry. "All you have to do is go talk to Younghoon, and then Sunwoo will suddenly appear to beat him up again."

You don't know whether to laugh or cry at that comment. "Um. I was going to tell you to shut up, but you know what, that's actually hilarious. I'll accept it."

"Why, thank you." Hyunjae smiles. Stuffs the fry in his mouth. "But anyways, don't worry too much about it. Lover boy will be back in no time. Especially when every hour is missing Y/N hours."

"Remind me to never tell you anything ever again," you say, reaching to stuff a handful of fries in his mouth to shut him up. "But I don't even know if that's a good thing though. Him... coming back."

"Why not? Be in love with your soulmate freely, Y/N," Hyunjae gestures dramatically as he chews. "You didn't go through all those years of ugliness for nothing."

"I think I'll go talk to Younghoon and see if he knows anything." You put the platter of fries in front of Juyeon, "Thank you for your help, bestie." Then turn to Hyunjae and knock him on the head, "And just so you know, I still hate you."

"It's okay to admit it, you know. That you loveme."

"Keep us updated, okay?" Juyeon pokes you gently. "Let us know if we can help with anything."

"Yeah, let us know if you need us to beat him up for you. Well, if you don't mind having some extra bruises for a while," Hyunjae says, waving his fists arounds.

"Thanks, but it won't be necessary."

Heading to the cafe has you shivering at the cold wind against your skin; the sun had disappeared with the clouds quickly moving in, darkening the sky with the incoming storm. If Juyeon were right that Sunwoo wasn't ghosting you, then there would have to be another reason for disappearing so suddenly. An unsettling feeling that makes your stomach clench.

Luckily for you, the cafe seems emptier than usual when you head over. Younghoon's there chatting with a co-worker—Kevin, if you could read his nametag properly—and he turns to the door at the sound of the bell.

"Oh, hey Y/N!"

"Hey, Younghoon."

Kevin whispers something to him and then gives you a quick smile before going into the backroom, leaving the two of you alone.

"I'm glad you stopped by, actually. I wanted to apologize for um..." he trails off, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. "Causing you all that trouble. Not knowing about you and Sunwoo."

"Don't worry about it; you already texted me about this." You wave a hand at him dismissingly. "And besides, the important thing is that you're okay. I would've beat up Sunwoo myself if you weren't."

That makes him laugh, though the usual twinkle in his eye isn't there. "We can still be friends, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course." Then you pause, not knowing how to approach the subject. "Actually, that's kind of what I wanted to ask you. Do you know where Sunwoo is?"

Younghoon hesitates. "There were some... people looking for him a while ago. He said he was going out of town to deal with them, but that's about all he told me."

"Some people?"

"He didn't want them to find him here." Younghoon bites his lip. You could tell that he clearly knows more but you're suddenly unsure of whether you wanted to find out at this point. "Y/N, it's probably best if you don't know."

"Oh."

But who would be looking for Sunwoo? Just what kind of people were he involved with? The way Younghoon spoke about it sounded like there would be danger involved; that Sunwoo was being chased by a gang or thugs. That there would be fights, weapons, and maybe even car chases, just like in the movies.

It just confirmed the sad fact that you knew nothing about him. You were completely clueless when it came to what kind of person he was, what his hobbies were, who his friends were. And yet, he knew all those things about you. He knew your schedule, your favourite coffee order, how you met your best friends. In the couple of months that you've known him, he already knew you inside and out.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Younghoon asks, gaze instantly softening at what must be quite a sad looking frown on your face. You barely manage to shrug in response. "Sunwoo might act like an asshole sometimes, but he's not a bad guy. I don't know what he's said to you, but he really does care about you."

"Thanks, Younghoon."

"I'll keep you updated if I hear from him."

When the silence of your room greets you, this time you're scrubbing off the makeup to look for clues. The marks that you once dreaded now became your hope because at least then you'd have some sort of sign. A tiny splash of blue as proof of his existence, a patch of purple to know that he's somewhere close by, that maybe the connection you had with him wasn't a fabrication of your imagination but rather something tangible.

Because maybe you did miss his presence. Because maybe you didn't hate it as much as you once thought you did, and maybe you actually never hated it at all. Maybe you've gotten used to it and maybe the way your heart soars and the way it sinks is the very definition of what it means to be soulmates.

There were no marks. A good sign, you supposed, if this meant he hadn't been getting into fights while he was gone. But something about seeing the clean slate of your skin makes you miss the familiar sight of marks, as if they were a piece of his presence you carried around.

It's already hard to believe you'd once hated them so much.

When your phone finally vibrates, you almost think you're imagining it. That it has to be some figment of your mind that you were projecting too hard.

Sk8ter boi: open the door soulmateeee <3

But when you open the door, he's there. It doesn't even matter how he knew which unit you lived in or how he made it past the front door of the building or why he decided to come. It doesn't matter that he's dripping water onto your floor from his soaked clothes, or that he drops his helmet and jacket by the door.

"Sunwoo?"

"Sorry for taking so long," he says softly as he closes the door behind him. There's a glimpse of a smile but it doesn't match the turmoil in his eyes. "You can see my handsome face all you want now."

"Are you okay? Where did you go?"

"Let's just say there was some unfinished business with some people I knew."

"Did you..." you trail off, not knowing how to ask what was on your mind or whether if you should be prying at all.

He shakes his head and some water droplet fall from his soaked hair. "I'm not going back to that kind of life, Y/N. Had to cut off ties with some people, that's all. Everything's done now. I'm all yours."

You let out a breath of relief that you didn't even realize you'd been holding.

Strands of his hair curl at the ends, and water droplets fall. Then you notice that the white tee he has on is see-through with how soaked it is, and the way it clings onto his body leaves little to imagination.

You slowly force your gaze away. "Oh."

"Were you looking for me?"

"I—yeah," you admit. The sight of him in front of you, alive and well, was enough to wipe away all of the snarky responses you once had in mind and make you finally decide to be real with him. To finally confront your feelings. "Yeah, I was worried about you. I was afraid you'd gotten into an accident or some sort of fight and—"

He shakes his head again, showing you both sides of his arms. Turning his head and pointing at his cheeks. "Not a scratch. See? I know how to resolve things peacefully. I promised you that there would be no more marks, Y/N."

"But Sunwoo, do you mean that? I was afraid you'd left because of what happened that night. That you decided you were done with—this," you gesture vaguely. "Sunwoo... are you just playing with me?"

"What? No." His eyes fill with confusion, and he finally crosses the room. "Y/N, is that what you thought? Is that what it seemed like?" Then he's right in front of you, gently brushing away a tear that you hadn't even realized was on your cheek. "Hey, I'm sorry for taking off like this. I wasn't trying to ghost you, I was just... afraid. Afraid of what you'd say if you answered that last question because I wasn't ready to be rejected by my own soulmate." He takes your hands in his and gives you a sad smile. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, but now, I've come to terms with it. And it's okay because I promised you that I'd get my shit together and I'm going to make it happen."

Then you're burying your face in his chest, arms pulling him closer despite the wet clothing, despite how you thought you hated him all your life. Because somehow, hating him first makes you like him even more now. And somehow, wanting to get rid of him at first makes you want to cling to him tighter now, to hold him closer and let this moment erase your guilt of ever pushing away someone who now seems to fit so well against you.

"You know, you were right to be mad at me for never thinking about you or about how my actions would affect you and the people around me. I hadn't really cared about anything in the world and didn't think about possibly meeting my soulmate in this lifetime. And even after we met, I didn't think anything would change. You were right that I was only interested in fooling around with you—only at first though." He pulls back just slightly, and you could see the honesty in his eyes, steady, unwavering. "But things did change. I usually don't give a shit about people's feelings or opinions, but for some reason, I care about yours. And I find myself wanting to get to know you, to be good enough for you. To not screw up one of the biggest chances in my life."

He caresses your cheek so delicately as if afraid this moment could shatter with a touch too strong.

"Wanting to love you and be loved by you."

If you'd been treading carefully around him before, now you find yourself drowning. Drowning in the warmth of his body against the coolness of his clothes, drowning in the sincerity in his words, in the hope that had begun to bloom in your heart so fast that it aches and yearns.

"Sunwoo, I should've told you that night."

There's a brief flash of fear in his eyes that's quickly replaced with a glimmer of hope that mirrors yours.

"Because I would've told you that I do want this to change everything. I want you to believe that soulmates can exist, and love can be real, and that the possibilities are endless if you're willing to experience it all. And that I do want you, as a soulmate."

He lets out the shaky breath he was holding. "Have you fallen for me?"

And this time when he asks, you're not afraid to answer.

"Yeah, Sunwoo. I have."

Then waves crash and surround you as his lips meet yours, dragging you into the depths and you're sinking, sinking, deeper and deeper. His mouth is hot as he kisses you hungrily, pulling you infinitesimally closer as hands get tangled in your hair and in his tee. Sunwoo's breath hitches when you press your palms against the bare skin under his shirt and there's heat sparking from everywhere you touch like a live wire. His every touch feels like air, a lifeline always keeping you alive and wanting, craving for more as you drown in his body.

He comes up for air first, pulling back the slightest, breathing hard.

"Sunwoo, you're freezing," you whisper.

"Then warm me up."

This time his lips veer from yours, creating a blaze of fire on your skin as they trail to your jaw, your ear, and down your neck that makes your breaths quicken. His shirt comes off with some effort and the bit that was left to your imagination turns into reality when your fingers trace his sun-kissed skin, following each line of his abs, each dip and curve until he's stifling a moan against your neck.

When there's a pause, his pupils are full blown, cheeks flushed as he searches your eyes. Searching for an answer for not only what would happen next, but for an answer about what would happen to the two of you. What you were and what you would become.

And then Sunwoo's kissing you again. Clothes are flung, teeth clack, and then he's pulling you with him until there are silky sheets and the heat of his body against you. Soft moans that you'd gotten a taste of that night now fill your ears as lips and hands are everywhere. His mouth trails down every inch of your body as if learning your every memory, your every bruise that had left you wondering over the years. Erasing then rewriting the stories through splashes of pink hues that darken into the blues and purples of watercolour on a blank canvas.

When the sun peaking through the curtains wakes you up in the morning, there's a disorientation in your head as if a fever dream that only lingers at the edges of your memory. The first glance at your body makes your heart sink as you realize you're covered in marks yet again, but then the memories flood back so fast that it takes a moment to catch your breath.

Sunwoo.

It's hard not to stare when he's right there. His long eyelashes, his high cheekbones, the way his lips curve into a small smirk as if knowing you're staring.

"Oh."

"Oh?" he mumbles, giving you a teasing look. He reaches over and pulls you even closer, until all you can see are those beautiful eyes. "Are you surprised I'm here?"

"No, but I was just afraid you... left."

He softens instantly into the brilliant smile that you'd seen only a few times so far. "Hey, I would never do that to you, soulmate. I was serious about what I said last night."

You nod, not trusting your own voice just yet. There's a tenderness in his eyes and fondness in his hands as his caresses your cheek, a softness that feels like warm sunlight trickling between the cracks. And when he kisses you this time, it feels like a first kiss. Whereas the night before was rough edges and stormy seas, this time it's filled with the innocence of a first love, the sweetness of a summer's day. His lips are gentle but what you notice most is the small smile that lingers on them like he can't contain his happiness.

This time the bruises that you see on your body aren't a sight that annoys you. They're not a sign that your soulmate is out there being reckless or fooling around; these are marks that your soulmate made directly on your skin. This time they're a reminder of what happened last night, not only a sign that he exists, but also a sign of how much he wants this too.

This time just before you head out, you're about to reach for your makeup bag before ultimately deciding against it. Because this time, you don't need to question who your soulmate was, where they were, or where the marks were coming from. It definitely feels different when you look over at Sunwoo and see the matching pale pink mark peeking out from the edge of his collar.

Maybe now, you can finally wear the bruises proudly.

The matching marks are the first thing that the soulmate duo stare at when you and Sunwoo walk into the cafe. You could see the way their eyes bounce back and forth between the two of you; Hyunjae giving you a very mischievous grin while Juyeon beams as if he were the matchmaker himself. Maybe he was, in a way; maybe the universe would've straightened itself out without his interference like he'd said, but he certainly helped.

There's a fifth seat saved for Younghoon, but it remains empty as you heard that he's been busy with the soulmate that he had found only recently. It's ironic that that fight with Sunwoo had been the solution for finding his soulmate all along—the bruises on his face had also showed up on a classmate of his. You were just happy that he's met someone he could finally channel all his love towards.

"Oh hey, pretty boy," Sunwoo nods towards Hyunjae when the two of you join them at the table, then turns to Juyeon, "and Y/N's ex-crush."

You elbow him lightly. "Please. Not you too."

The three of them laugh and for a second it feels so natural. You're glad to have brought them together even if their source of entertainment was from teasing you.

When Hyunjae looks at Juyeon, there's a particular look they exchange. A glance that said neither of them has ever doubted that your relationship with Sunwoo would work out, that they know all too well what the soulmate bond feels like and perhaps how its pull is inevitable.

You see it in the way Younghoon glows when he walks in with his soulmate later—Minji, he said her name was. The affection in his gaze when he looks at her, the way her eyes twinkle when smiles back at him. There's no denying their bond when it's all so different from how he looked at you before.