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summary -> after ten years of raising your little boy alone in pittsburgh, you've has built a solid, steady life—and an mile high wall around your heart. but when local legend sidney crosby unexpectedly walks into your little bookstore, his quiet consistency slowly dismantles every defense you have. just as you begin to believe in a future you never thought possible, a bitter ghost from your past threatens to tear your world apart, forcing you to choose: run from the fear of abandonment, or trust the man who will stop at nothing to protect the family he’s chosen.
warnings -> anxiety. abandonment. single parenting. slight age gap? but it never really comes up. slow burn.
msb yaps -> the feedback i've gotten on this series has been amazing. genuinely. i am so happy STL is getting so much love because this series is so very dear to me, being a single mom myself. i've drawn a lot from my own experiences and feelings to write this and i hope i do the story that's been living in my head for years justice. if you want to be added to the tag list, lmk! divider is from @pxrce-lain
series master list | main master list | lets yap
The inside of your house was warm with the smell of your favorite cinnamon and balsam candles burning in the living room mixed with the rich, buttery scent of the sugar cookies Cooper had helped you bake earlier that afternoon. He had officially been on Christmas break for almost a week now and your entire house felt like Santa’s arrival was imminent.
On the surface, the living room looked like a scene straight out of a L.L. Bean Christmas catalog - the soft, twinkling lights from the Christmas tree glowing against the walls, the holiday music quietly humming in the background, the rolls of gold and green and red wrapping paper tucked away in the corner of the living room.
But underneath it all, your anxiety was eating you alive.
Down the hall, Cooper’s bedroom door was shut tight, his soft snores floating out from the room signaling that he was finally fast asleep. Usually, he was a pretty easy kid to get asleep, he’d always been that way, but with one exception: Christmas Eve. He’d fought it particularly hard tonight but eventually, you’d won out and he’d given up the fight.
You were sitting on the floor in the living room, trying your best to get all of Cooper’s presents wrapped before you inevitably fell asleep yourself. But every few minutes, your gaze flickered involuntarily towards the coffee table where your phone sat.
Every single time the screen lit up with a notification — even if it was just a simple news alert or a text notification from the WAG group chat Anna had added you to last week — your stomach did a sickening drop that felt like you had jumped off the Empire State Building.
Your heart slammed against your ribs every time it lit up, a visceral spike of dread making your hands shake.
What if it’s him? What if he found out where we live? What if he’s serving me with custody papers on Christmas?
The questions flew through your mind, completely out of control the entire day. By the time you’d finally gotten Cooper to sleep, your emotions were on the razors edge of snapping and you felt like you were going to break.
A soft knock at the front door shatters the suffocating silence, yanking you back to the present.
Forcing a few deep breath’s into your lungs, you consciously lowered your shoulders as you stood up. You opened the door, the icy December air washing over you as you stared at Sidney standing on the other side.
He looked devastatingly handsome bundled up in a heavy coat with that knit Penguins beanie he was so fond of during the winter, a handful of gift bags in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.
The team had a game the day after Christmas down in Florida followed by a quick road trip back up the east coast for the next week, meaning that this was the only real Christmas moment you’d get together before the chaos of his schedule pulled him away from you again.
“Hey, pretty girl.” Sidney murmurs, a tired smile breaking across his face as he stepped into the foyer. He sets the bags down along with the bottle of wine before wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “God, I missed you.”
Between spending extended hours at the store as Christmas drew nearer and Sidney’s practice schedule ahead of their upcoming road trip, it had been several days since you’d actually been able to physically see each other beyond quick, late-night FaceTime calls.
“I missed you too.” You say into his shoulder, leaning into the solid mass of muscle that he is, clinging just a little too tightly to his jacket before forcing yourself to pull back with a bright, practiced smile. “Cooper’s asleep. Come on, I need your help with these giant boxes.”
For the first half hour, you managed to pretend like everything was fine. You sat cross-legged on the rug, handing Sidney the tape while he meticulously wrapped the box that held the new hockey net you’d gotten to put down in the basement, telling him how impressed you were with his ability to guess the exact amount of wrapping paper he’d need for such a big box.
Your mask shattered the moment your phone vibrated across the coffee table, the loud buzzing noise sending a jolt straight to your stomach. Freezing with your arm halfway extended out to Sidney’s waiting hand, you clenched down on the tape dispenser so hard that the plastic snapped in half.
Sidney’s hands stilled on the wrapping paper as his gaze flicked instantly from the box in front of him to the phone and then over to your face, taking in the way you’d gone white as a ghost. You tried to bury the tight strain around your mouth and the way your breathing had just gone shallow.
Tried and failed.
“YN.” Sidney says carefully. “Hey, sweetheart. Look at me.”
You swallowed hard, refusing to glance at your phone as you tried to dismiss your reaction with a wave of your hand. “I’m fine. It’s fine. It’s probably just Anna asking about the holiday party for Nicky and Cooper’s team. Let’s get this finished before —”
“Babe.” Sidney interrupts gently, reaching out to capture your hand in his larger one. His thumb strokes slowly over the back of your knuckles, his gaze steady and intense, like you were shouting your thoughts at him out loud. “Your phone has pinged four times since we sat down and every single time it does, you practically stop breathing. You’ve been miles away all night.”
“I’m fine.” You lie, your voice cracking just a touch despite your best efforts.
Sidney squeezes your hand, his jaw ticking as he searches your face. “Talk to me. Please? Whatever it is, I want to help, just…you’ve got to let me in.”
The offer was so well meaning and sweet, so full of unconditional support that it felt like a physical weight pressing against your lungs.
And that was exactly why you wouldn’t do it.
For one, Sidney already carried the weight of an entire city, a franchise, and a sport on his broad shoulders. He was about to get on a plane in less than 48 hours for another road trip and the last thing that he needed was for you to dump your domestic mess at his feet again, forcing him to worry about your toxic past while he was trying to lead a team at the highest level. He didn’t deserve to be dragged into your personal quicksand every time things got hard. You just wouldn’t do that to him.
And second — and this was the thought that terrified you the most — if you actually said what was bothering you out loud, if you admitted to Sidney that you were scared about your ex threatening court, that you felt a legal battle looming over your head like a guillotine, it would make it real. As long as the words stayed trapped inside your throat, you could pretend it was just a nightmare you’d eventually wake up form. The moment you spoke it into the quiet warmth of your living room eight hours before Christmas morning, your reality would break.
And you weren’t sure you’d survive that.
“Sid, seriously. I’m okay.” You insist, putting on the bravest of faces you could muster, squeezing his hand back before pulling away to pick up another roll of wrapping paper. “It’s just holiday stress. I get like this every Christmas. Between the store and Cooper, it’s just a lot. And I’m bummed you have to leave for a road trip soon too. That’s it, I swear.”
Sidney doesn’t look even remotely convinced.
He sits on the rug, his expression heavy with a protective sort of concern, watching the subtle way your shoulders twitch as you avoided his gaze. He wanted to push, God did he want to push — you could see it in the set of his shoulders and the way he was clenching his teeth hard enough to crack. It was the sheer stubbornness that made him who he was and most of the time, you appreciated that.
Just not tonight.
He sees the panic swimming just beneath the surface though and slowly, he lets out a long breath. If there was one lesson he’d learned in his tenure as Captain of both the Penguins and the national team, it was to know when it was time to yield.
And tonight, he was beaten.
“Okay.” He murmurs softly, though you could tell there was an undercurrent of ‘this discussion isn’t over’ to the way he said it. Reaching out, his hand comes up to curve around your neck, his thumb soothing over your racing pulse. “Okay. But I’m right here, you know that right? Whatever it is, you don’t have to hide it from me. You don’t have to carry this alone anymore.”
Sidney’s thumb continued its soothing strokes against your jawline, his gaze so intense it felt like he was seeing straight inside to your soul.
Before he could dig any deeper, before the silence could force the truth out of you, you reached out and caught his wrist.
“Come over tomorrow.” You pleaded softly, the words tumbling out before you could lose your nerve. “After you finish with your morning workout and team stuff…just, come back here for Christmas dinner. Spend the afternoon with us?”
Sidney blinked, his eyebrows pulling together slightly. “Babe, I don’t want to intrude on your Christmas with Cooper. I know it’s usually just you two all day and you stick to that tradition…”
“You’re not intruding, Sid.” You cut in, voice tight as you climb into his lap, hoping that you could distract him enough to drop the concerned questioning. “I hate the thought of you sitting alone in that big house of yours on Christmas Day. Cooper would love it. I would love it.”
It wasn’t a lie.
Not entirely.
The thought of him eating by himself in an empty house of Christmas Day made your chest hurt. But beneath that tender truth was a sharper panic clawing at your throat. The idea of being alone in your house all afternoon — just you and Cooper and the suffocating fear that your ex might show up, send a bitter text, or even choose that day to serve you with custody papers — terrified you to your core.
If something happened, if the storm hit on Christmas Day, you weren’t sure that you possessed the strength to handle it alone while keeping a smiling face for Cooper.
The realization hits you like a slap to the face, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. You weren’t strong enough. You were supposed to be the resilient, independent single mom who handled everything without a second thought. Yet here you were, using Sidney as a human shield because you were too terrified to stand on your own two feet.
The guilt of relying on him so heavily, of needing his presence just to get through the day, made you feel like an absolute failure.
Sidney’s expression softened, totally unaware of the quiet war raging in your chest. He misreads the tremor in your voice as affection and nervousness. A soft, handsome smile spreads across his face as he looks at you like you’ve hung the moon.
“Yeah?” He asks, leaning over to press a lingering kiss to your temple. “You sure you want me crowding your space at Christmas?”
“I’m 100% sure.” You whisper, closing your eyes tight against the prickle of tears you feel building, as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, clinging to the warmth of his body. “Please come, Sidney.”
“Okay.” He murmurs, his arms wrapping securely around you so he can pull you tight against his chest. “I’ll be here, pretty girl. I’m not going anywhere.”
Christmas morning is flawless, bathed in the frantic joy of a ten-year-old boy drowning in wrapping paper, overdosing on hot chocolate, and the heady smells of bacon and cinnamon rolls. To Cooper, today was magic. He was blissfully oblivious to the dark shadows that lurked just beneath the surface of your saccharine sweet smiles, completely unaware of the sickening knot that had stayed coiled in your stomach since Sidney had pulled out of the driveway well past midnight.
And you were going to keep it that way — no matter how much energy it took to fake every single laugh.
By late afternoon, the doorbell going off had your heart seizing in your chest before you had the chance to catch yourself. Glancing through the front window, you laughed to yourself, rolling your eyes at how silly you were being. It wasn’t your ex. It wasn’t the police or a process server.
It was Sidney.
At your door.
Right on time.
Just like you’d asked him.
Cooper raced for the door, opening it wide so Sidney steps into the hallway carrying a dusting of fresh snow on his shoulders, smelling like the frigid air and his cologne. The moment he walks into the foyer, Cooper grabs for his hand and practically yanks it out of the socket trying to drag him into the living room.
“Sid! Look what I got!” Cooper shouted, tugging him towards the tree, eager to show off the presents he’d opened that morning.
Sidney laughed, a sound so rich and genuine it briefly quieted the buzzing anxiety that simmered beneath your skin. He shrugs out of his coat, dropping down onto his knees right beside Cooper on the rug. “Looks like Santa was good to you this year, huh bud?”
For a few minutes, Cooper chatters away, showing Sidney the skate guards that turned into roller skates and the three Lego sets he’d gotten. Sidney sits, paying quiet and rapt attention as you folded yourself onto the couch just watching them interact.
“Hey, before I forget, I got you some stuff too.” Sidney says easily, hauling himself off his knees to pop his head outside the front door.
When he returns seconds later, Cooper’s eyes go wider than dinner plates as Sidney hands him a hockey stick wrapped up with a big red bow.
“No way…” Cooper breathes, running his hands over the shaft in awe. “It’s just like yours!”
Sidney nods, watching as Cooper rips the bow off the stick to test it out. “A little less flex than mine so it’s easier for you to handle, but it’s the same curve I’ve used forever, kiddo. If you end up not liking the blade though, we can go find something that works better for you.”
Before Cooper can even recover, Sidney hands him a small envelope. Cooper tears into it, reading the handwritten note that was tucked inside out loud. “Good for one trip to Pure Hockey with me to get you fitted with brand new skates.”
Cooper’s mouth drops open as his gaze pings from where you sit on the couch up to where Sidney stands, looking pleased with himself.
“No freakin’ way! You’re gonna help me find a new pair of skates?” Cooper flings his arms around Sidney’s middle and you swear your heart ceases beating. “Thank you, Sid. Thank you so much! This is the best Christmas ever!”
“You’re welcome, bud.” Sidney says with a low chuckle. “Go test out that flex downstairs, I heard Santa brought you those shooting tiles. I’ll be down in a minute, okay?”
Left alone in the quiet living room, the glow of the Christmas tree lighting up the space, Sidney turns towards you. His hazel eyes take you in — the subtle violet shadows under your eyes, the tight, polite smile you’d been barely clinging on to all day, the way your hand was resting just a little too close to your phone on the side table.
Even through the energy of Cooper’s joy, that suffocating gasp of tension simmered taut between you.
“He’s never going to forget this Christmas, Sid.” You say quietly, stepping closer to him as you make a concerted effort to keep your voice even so you don’t give away how anxious you’ve been today. “You really didn’t have to do all of that for him.”
“Maybe not but I wanted to anyway.” He replies, closing the space between you with one quick step. His hands come up to settle on your waist, his fingers slipping just a fraction beneath your sweater to feel the warm skin beneath it. “How are you doing? Really.”
“I’m fine.” You lie automatically, the familiar line slipping past your lips before you could even stop it. “Just happy he’s having a good day. That’s what matters in the end, right?”
Sidney stares down at you, his jaw ticking like it did when he was frustrated.
As Sidney goes to open his mouth, Cooper shouts for him from the bottom of the basement stairs, requesting his presence to watch as he tested out his new stick.
“This isn’t over, sweetheart. We’re going to talk about this later.” He warns, taking a step back.
It takes everything in you to just nod as you watch Sidney retreat down the stairs, the ghost of what you’ve been hiding from him wrapping itself tightly around your throat.
The golden afternoon light fades into a quiet, sparkling blue twilight, leaving only the shimmering lights of the Christmas tree glowing in the living room, accented by the rhythmic hum of the TV. Cooper was sprawled out on the rug, completely engrossed in one of his new video games, occasionally letting out a soft whisper of celebration as he clicked away at the controller.
Tucked into the corner of the couch, you were curled tightly into Sidney’s side, the warmth radiating from his body combined with the dinner you’d all just finished eating leaving you pleasantly drowsy and relatively calm for the first time all day. His arm was slung around your shoulder, holding you tightly against his chest, his palm resting solidly on your arm. The steady rise and fall of his breathing was helping keep the persistent buzz of your anxiety at bay.
Taking a steadying breath, you reached down to the floor where a neatly wrapped package sat hidden under the edge of the sofa. Your hands shook slightly as you pulled it into your lap.
“I’ve got something for you.” You say softly, laying your head on his shoulder as you work up the courage to hand it over.
Sidney shifts, looking down at the small package in your hands. A tiny, curious smile touches his lips as he takes it from you. “What’s this?”
“Open it.” You say.
Carefully peeling back the gold and red striped wrapping paper, he reveals a well-read paperback edition of The Nightingale.
Sidney goes completely still.
His expression softens as he runs a reverent hand over the front cover, a tiny smile catching at the corner of his mouth. It was the very first book you’d recommend to him back in October, before the late night FaceTime calls and long before he’d become your safe place.
“Open the front cover.” You say softly, watching his face like a hawk.
On the inside, in your neat cursive handwriting was a note:
For the man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, but still manages to make room for us. A little piece of home for those long road trips. xox
Sidney doesn’t say anything for a long moment. He slowly begins to turn the pages, his gaze snagging on the notes you’d written into the margins of the paperback, the underlined passages, the little sticky flags marking scenes and lines you knew he’d appreciate. You’d filled the book with your thoughts just for him in your own personal copy of the book that had sat on your shelves for years already.
It was something money couldn’t buy, made especially for a man who already had everything.
When Sidney looks up at you, his gaze was heavy and thick, a raw sort of emotion in them that you’d never seen from him before. The way he was looking at you made your pulse jump.
“Baby.” His voice is rough with emotion, raspy in a way that you know he saves for you. Setting the book down on the coffee table in front of him, he reaches out to wrap his fingers around your wrist, pulling you straight into his lap.
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” He murmurs, his mouth ghosting over the shell of your ear as his hand slides up to cup the back of your neck. “This is…the best present anyone’s ever given me.”
“I’m glad.” You breathe, a soft smile finding its way onto your face as you lean into his touch.
“Hey, Coop!” Sidney calls out, not breaking eye contact with yoi. “Can you do me a favor and grab that envelop that’s sitting on the kitchen counter please?”
“On it!” Cooper calls back, pausing his game before scrambling to his feet. He darts into the kitchen to snag the envelope and trots back over to the couch, handing the heavy cardstock envelope to Sidney before going right back to his game.
Sidney takes the envelope and hands it to you, his thumb stroking over your hip as he watches your face. “Your turn.”
Slipping a finger beneath the flap, you pull out a note folded neatly in half with a photo of what looked like some sort of tropical sunset and a gorgeous looking sandy beach tucked between the folds. Your breath catches in your throat as you read what Sidney has written down:
Ten days in Maui as soon as the season wraps up. I already talked to Maya and Livvy, they’ve got the store completely covered while you’re away. I spoke to your parents too and they can’t wait to spoil Cooper rotten for the week and a half. Everything is taken care of. All you have to do is pack a bag and let me take care of you.
You choke on a heavy sob, staring at the paper through a sudden blur of overwhelmingly hot tears.
It wasn’t just the trip — though the thought of ten uninterrupted days lying on a warm beach with Sidney felt like you’d somehow won the lottery. It was the fact that he had thought of everything. He had talked to your staff, arranging coverage for your business, and coordinate with your parents so you wouldn’t have to carry a single ounce of stress or guilty into the trip.
He hadn’t asked you to manage logistics or plan a single thing. He hadn’t left you to pick up the pieces or carry the load by yourself. Sidney had simply stepped in, wrapped his arms around your life, and shielded you from the weight of things that felt too heavy to carry by yourself.
The contrast of having Sidney in your life now compared to before hits you like a freight train, sharp and agonizing.
Cooper’s bio dad had made you feel like every need you had was a burden. It left you constantly feeling like you were walking on eggshells, making you feel small for even asking for help.
And then Sidney had appeared one cold October morning and your life had never been the same.
Sidney, who carried the expectations of an entire city, and entire country, on his shoulders but still managed to make it his life’s mission to make you feel safe, seen, and taken care of. Sidney, who saw your hidden anxiety and quietly built a fortress around you so you could finally breathe.
“Hey…” Sidney’s voice, soft and low, pulls you from your spiral. His hand comes up to gently frame your face, his thumb catching a stray tear before it could track down your cheek as his expression filled with a gentle warmth. “Why are you crying, sweet girl? Was the beach a bad idea?”
You let you a watery laugh, breathless as you shake your head and bury your face straight into the crook of his neck.
“I love it.” You sob, your fingers gripping at the back of his shirt. “I just…I can’t quite figure out how I got so lucky with you, Sid. I really can’t.”
Sidney wraps his arms around you even tighter, pulling you in closer to his body as he presses his cheek into your hair.
“You’re not the lucky one, sweetheart.” He says, voice heavy with emotion that sends a shiver curling down your spine. “I am.”
Later that evening, long after Cooper had been tucked into bed, a deep, late-night stillness settled over the house. In the dim light of the kitchen, you were busying yourself with cleaning up after the mess of the day — wiping down the already spotless counters, folding clean dish towels, and doing anything you could think of to keep your hands moving.
As long as you were moving, the dark, looming dread that you’d managed to stifle while Sidney was in the house, couldn’t creep back into your chest.
You had no idea what you were going to do when he was gone.
Sidney stood near the doorway, watching you with a focus that should have felt unnerving, had you even been paying attention to him. His hands stuck deep in his pockets after checking his watch, knowing that he needed to get some sleep before the team’s early flight to Florida tomorrow.
“Baby.” Sidney says softly, the deep timbre of his voice cutting through the quiet sound of the running water. “Stop, please.”
You stilled for the briefest of moments, your hands resting on the edge of the sink before you forced a quick breath into your lungs, turning to face him with a tight smile. “Just finishing up. I hate going to bed knowing there’s a mess in the kitchen. You can take off, I know you have an early flight—”
“I’m not talking about the kitchen.” He interrupts, taking two long strides into the kitchen until he was standing directly in front of you. Reaching out, Sidney takes the damp cloth from your hands and sets it aside. “You’ve been wound tighter than a spring all day. Every time a phone vibrates, every time a car drives down the street, you flinch like you’re bracing for a bomb to go off.”
The direct confrontation you’d been skating around all day felt like a nerve being exposed. Your defenses, already frayed down to the wire by days of barely suppressed panic, crumble to bits around you.
“I am fine, Sidney.” You snap, your voice sharp enough with volatile heat that it catches both of you off guard. Taking a step back, you put some much needed distance between you as you wrap your arms around yourself. “Why do you keep pushing me? Why can’t you just let this go?”
Despite the venom in your voice, Sidney doesn’t flinch. His eyes stay trained on you, his jaw setting into that stubborn line that you’d seen so many times on TV while he was preparing to take a face-off.
“Because I care about you.” He says plainly. “And I can see how you’re drowning while trying to pretend it’s not even raining.”
“I’m not drowning!” Tears prick at the back of your eyes, hot and furious, fulled by the sheer terror of what you thought might be coming and the agonizing guilt that you felt as you pushed him away. “I just don’t want to talk about it. I don’t need you to fix everything in my life, Sid. Just…leave. I need you to leave. Please. I can’t do this right now.”
The air between you and Sidney stills.
Any other man probably would have walked out the door then and there, you knew that. It had been your goal, honestly. Unfortunately for you, Sidney Crosby wasn’t any other man. He crosses his arms over his chest as his eyes hold yours with a fierce expression of determination and devotion that made your knees weak.
“I’m not leaving.” He says stubbornly, leaving no room for argument. “You can be mad at me. You can yell at me. You can tell me to get out but I am not getting on a plane for a six day road trip with us standing in the middle of a burning room. I will not leave you like this. Please don’t ask me to.”
Your breath catches, the anger that had been burning a hole in your chest evaporating in an instant. In its place was the hollow, devastating truth you’d been running from since the day after the gala.
“Sid, please.” You choke, your voice breaking as the first tear tracks down your cheek.
Sidney closes the gap between you in a single step. He brings his hands up to frame your face, his thumb gently wiping away the tear as he pulled you into his chest, holding you so tightly you couldn’t run even if you tried.
“I’m not going anywhere. I know you keep expecting me to go running, that you keep expecting me to bail but I’m not going to do that. You’re too tightly woven into my life now, I couldn’t leave you if I wanted.” The fierceness in his voice makes your chest ache as you sob into his sweater. “Whatever is coming, whatever you’re scared of, you don’t have to face it alone, okay? I’m right here. I promise you, sweetheart, I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere.”
Clinging to his shirt, you bury your face into Sidney’s chest as you let his steady heartbeat drown out the silence of the night. The heavy quiet in the kitchen stretches between you, thick with unspoken exhaustion and anxiety. Sidney holds you against his chest, his arms a solid barrier against the cold dread that had been eating away at you all day.
“I’m not used to this.” You choke, your hands twisting tightly into the fabric of his shirt. Your voice was so small, cracked wide open that Sidney’s heart physically hurts hearing it. “I’m…I’ve had to be the one to fix everything for so long. If I didn’t handle it, no one would. I don’t know how to just hand my problems over to someone else. It feels like…It feels like I’m failing. I’m failing you and Cooper. I’m failing Maya and Livvy and the store. I’m failing myself.”
Sidney lets out a long breath, the warmth of it ruffling your hair. His hands smooth down your back, pulling you closer to ground you with his solid frame.
“You’re not failing, sweet girl.” He soothes. “And you’re not handing your problems off on me. You and me? We’re a team now. That means when things get heavy, you don’t have to break your back trying to carry it all by yourself.”
Sidney eases you back just enough so he can look down at you, his thumbs smoothing over your wet cheeks with deliberate tenderness.
“I know why you’re wound up like this.” He continues. “You’ve been on the edge since that DM from Coop’s bio dad after the gala but sweetheart, he hasn’t contacted you since that morning. Not a text, not a call, nothing. For all we know, he realized it’s too much of a hassle and backed off.”
You shake your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips as you look away for a moment.
“You don’t know him like I do, Sid.” You say. “Even back in college before I got pregnant, he was a pushy jerk who always had to get his way. He doesn’t just ‘back off’. He’s quiet because he’s planning. He’s biding his time. He wants to hit when I least expect it, when he thinks he can do the most damage.”
Sidney’s jaw sets into a hard line, a sharp glint of anger flickering in his expression. Reaching up, Sidney hooks a finger under your chin so he can tilt your face up until you were forced to meet his gaze.
“Then let him try. If he comes back, if he tries to pull anything, we face it as a team. You aren’t alone in this anymore, okay? You don’t have to sit in the dark waiting for the other shoe to drop by yourself.”
Sidney leans down, capturing your mouth in a firm, reassuring kiss. He tries his best to pour as much reassurance and confidence into you as he possibly can, trying to tell you without words that there was no way he was going to let you drown. Not while he was around. It tastes like home and warmth and every solid thing you’ve ever wanted in your life for both you and Cooper.
You’d given up hoping for something like what Sidney was kissing you with long ago, accepting your fate that sometimes, people don’t get their happy ending. Cooper was your happy ending and you’d been content with that. But here, in the kitchen late at night on Christmas Day, Sidney gives you something else to cling on to: him.
“He has to go through me first.” He whispers when he pulls back, his forehead resting against yours. “I don’t let anyone fuck around with the people I care about and I sure as hell don’t back down from a fight. How else do you think I got over 100 penalty minutes my first year in the league?”
You choke a wet laugh, swallowing down the lump in your throat as you wrap your arms tightly around his neck.
“Okay.” You breathe. “Okay. I’m sorry I snapped at you, you didn’t deserve that.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Sidney replies with a low chuckle that vibrates in his chest. “I can take it. Just please don’t lock me out next time, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” You smile softly, resting your cheek over his heart as you allowed yourself to believe, even if just for a brief second that Sidney might actually be right and there wasn’t danger lurking right outside your door.
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Summary: Once Off Season Began The First Thing Fraser Does Is Take You Out.
A/N: I Hope You All Enjoy. Please Follow, Like, And Reblog. My Request Are Open!
The second the offseason started, Fraser had one thing on his mind. You. Not golf. Not sleeping until noon. Not catching up with his friends. Not even hockey. All he wanted was you. He’d barely finished unpacking when his phone buzzed.
Fraser: You busy?
You smiled at the message.
You: Not really Why?
His response came almost immediately.
Fraser: Coffee?
You laughed.
You: You literally just got home.
Fraser: Exactly come get coffee with me.
You: Give me twenty minutes.
Fraser: I’ll be outside.
When you came downstairs, Fraser was waiting by the car in a hoodie and sweatpants. The second he saw you, his face lit up. “There she is.” You smiled. “Hi babe. ” He opened his arms and you immediately walked into them. He hugged you tightly, burying his face against your hair. “I missed so much you.” “I missed you too.” He pulled back. “Coffee?” “Coffee.”T
The coffee date was simple. You both didn’t want a fancy restaurant or any big plans afterwards. Just the two of you sitting in a quiet little café, talking about absolutely everything and nothing. You stirred your drink. “So, what are you doing with your first day of freedom?” Fraser looked at you. “This.” You smiled. “That’s it?” “Yep.” “No hockey?” “Nope.” “No friends?”“Later.” He took another sip. “Today is yours.”
Your cheeks warmed. “You missed me that much?”“Yeah.” He said it so casually that you laughed. “I missed you too.” “I know.” You looked at him. “How?”“Because you texted me every day.” You smiled. “Maybe it’s because I like you.” “Maybe?” “Don’t get cocky.” He laughed.
That evening, neither of you wanted to go anywhere. You ended up at home, both changing into comfortable clothes before climbing into bed. You had a book and Fraser had his. You settled against the headboard, your legs tangled together beneath the blanket. For a while, neither of you spoke. Just the quiet sound of pages turning. You glanced over and you see Fraser was completely absorbed in his book. You smiled and returned to yours.
A few minutes later, his foot gently bumped yours. You looked over but he didn’t even look up. You smiled. Your feet stayed touching. Another few minutes passed. You shifted closer until your shoulder rested against his. Fraser instinctively leaned his head against yours. Neither of you said anything. Because you guys didn’t need to. There was something comforting about simply knowing the other person was there.
After another chapter, you whispered, “Hun?” “Hm?”“Are you tired?” “A little.” “You can sleep.” “I’m reading.” “You’ve been on the same page for ten minutes.” He looked down. “…Have I?” You laughed. “Yes.” He smiled. “I was distracted.” “By what?” He looked at you. “You.” You rolled your eyes. “Cheesy.”“it’s true.”
He closed his book and placed it on the nightstand. Then he looked at yours. “You done?” “Almost.” He waited. You finished the page and closed it. “Okay.”Fraser smiled. “Come here.” You curled into his side. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled the blanket higher. You rested your head against his chest. He kissed the top of your head. “This is nice.” “Mhm.” “No schedules or waking up at five. I was tired of missing. I am just happy to have you in my arms again.”
You smiled. “Just us.” “Just us.” You closed your eyes. After a few quiet moments, you whispered, “I like when we don’t have to do anything.” Fraser’s fingers gently brushed through your hair. “Me too.” “You don’t have to entertain me.” “I know.” You smiled. “I just like knowing you’re here.” His arm tightened around you. “I’m always here.” You looked up at him. “Promise?” He smiled softly. “Promise.”
You settled back against him as the room went quiet again. Neither of you reached for your phones. Neither of you cared about what was happening outside. For the first time in months, there was nowhere either of you needed to be. And Fraser thought that maybe this, coffee in the afternoon, books in bed, your head on his chest, him clinging to you. Was his favorite part about off season. Not because it was exciting. Because it wasn’t it was peaceful. And that he’s back home, home with you because you are his home.
dilf clay being obsessed with his wife. like hands all over her any second they get alone. kisses all the time. a cheeky hand on the bum every chance he gets. he’s fucking obsessed with his perfect beautiful wife who’s also the mother of his children.
a/n: sorry this took so long to do, lacking a little creativity when it comes to clayton, hopefully that'll change once the season finally starts, sorry, this isn't my best. this is for that one anon from the other day who was missing clayton <3
he finds you as you're unloading the dishwasher, the clothes he had seen you in before he left for practice swapped for one of his old BU shirts, the logo faded and the material stretched and thinning, leggings and a pair of thick socks rolled down around your ankles. you're humming some song under your breath, absorbed in your own little world, completely oblivious to his presence, and he waits a second, leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile caressing his lips, completely in awe of how beautiful you look right now.
“jesus, clay,” you turn, startled, your hand clasping your chest, heart racing, as you try to catch your breath. a nervous laugh topples off your lips, cheeks flushed, kissed by him as he wanders further into the kitchen. “you have a bad habit of doing that,” you mumble, grabbing the wash basket full of marlow's clothes, cleaned and folded.
“admiring my wife?” he cocks his head. “trying to wonder how i managed to have a wife as beautiful as you?”
“staring like a creep.” he barks a laugh, the sound fizzling away as you give him a sharp look. “holly has ears like a hawk,” you sigh, not wanting to spend another hour wrestling the six month old into another nap. she has her dad's stubbornness, that's for sure.
“and our other daughter?” he wraps his arms around your waist, stopping you. he burrows his face into your neck, kissing you gently. “where's marlowe?”
“she’s in the living room, watching the lion king.”
“again?” he keeps kissing you, the little bit of stubble lining his jaw scratching your neck, his lips lowering until he meets your shoulder. his fingers tuck the t-shirt to the side, revealing more of your soft skin, and for a second, you melt into his touch, biting your lip to trap a whimper. “she watched it yesterday.”
“and the day before that, and the day before that,” you add, turning to look over your shoulder, “this is your fault - you're the one who introduced it to her.” he smiles innocently and just like that you're ready to forgive him. “she made me put the soundtrack on in the car. i don't think i can take listening to the circle of life one more time.”
clayton snorts, “could've been worse.”
“yeah, you're right,” you nod, “it could've been frozen.” when you try to move, his arms squeeze you tighter. “clayton?” he just grunts into your neck, face buried once more against you. “you need to let me go.”
“soon,” he mumbles, “just a little longer.” he nuzzles into you, and you giggle, the smile unstoppable as it spreads across mouth, reaching from one ear to the other. “i don't get to just hold you like this anymore now the girls are here.”
“that's a lie.”
he gasps, his head springing up from your neck. he catches your eyes as you turn to look over your shoulder. “no, it's not,” he drags his lips along your jaw, lazily kissing along your warm skin. “can't even remember the last time we had sex.”
“last week,” you tell him, “or was it that bad that you forgot about it?”
he nips at your jaw. “sex is never bad with you, baby.”
“i think you're obsessed.”
“i am,” he grins, all lovesick and dopey. “and why wouldn't i be? you're sexy-” you softly scoff and turn away, hiding your flushed cheeks. “hey, you are,” he stresses, pulling you tighter against him, “i wake up everyday feeling like i've won the lottery, or something-don't laugh, i'm trying to be romantic here.”
“i'm sorry,” you say, swallowing back another laugh, “you were saying?”
he turns you around, one hand taking the wash basket, discarding to the table, the one finding your waist, drawing you in closer. “i was saying, you're beautiful,” he cradles the side of your neck, and strokes his thumb softly along the underside of your jaw, “so, so, fucking beautiful, and sexy, and gorgeous, and actually, calling you all those things is an understatement, because your beauty is indescribable.”
he leans in to kiss you, a soft, slow kiss, like he's trying to memorise the feel of your lips on his, something to think about when he's away on the road.
“daddy!” marlowe happily squeals at the kitchen door, tiny feet padding against the kitchen floor boards. he sighs, and you stifle a laugh, giving him a quick kiss to the cheek. “daddy,” she reaches up and tugs on his shorts, “come, daddy. come watch.”
he reaches down, scooping her up from the floor with an exaggerated groan. “you're getting too big to be carried.” she laughs, shaking her head. “no?” he arches his eyebrows. “well, if you say so.” he leans over and pecks your cheek, chuckling as your daughter makes a ‘bleh’ sound. “i love you.”
“and me?” marlowe asks, twirling one pigtail around her finger.
“of course,” he grins, tossing her gently in the air, a loud squeal erupting from her tiny frame. when he reaches the door, he looks back at you, mouthing, “me, you, laundry room, in ten minutes.”
summary -> after ten years of raising your little boy alone in pittsburgh, you've has built a solid, steady life—and an mile high wall around your heart. but when local legend sidney crosby unexpectedly walks into your little bookstore, his quiet consistency slowly dismantles every defense you have. just as you begin to believe in a future you never thought possible, a bitter ghost from your past threatens to tear your world apart, forcing you to choose: run from the fear of abandonment, or trust the man who will stop at nothing to protect the family he’s chosen.
warnings -> anxiety. abandonment. single parenting. slight age gap? but it never really comes up. slow burn. No explicit smut in this part but it’s…steamy 😏
msb yaps -> the feedback i've gotten on this series has been amazing. genuinely. i am so happy STL is getting so much love because this series is so very dear to me, being a single mom myself. i've drawn a lot from my own experiences and feelings to write this and i hope i do the story that's been living in my head for years justice. if you want to be added to the tag list, lmk! divider is from @pxrce-lain
series master list | main master list | lets yap
Downtown Pittsburgh was cloaked in a quiet, magical sort of blanket that could only be attributed to the fact that Christmas was just a week away. You sat quietly in the passenger seat, watching the city blur past in a kaleidoscope of reds and greens and golds, the swirling snow cascading down from the clouds that hovered in the sky above.
As Sidney pulled his SUV underneath the massive sheltered portico entrance, you stared out the window, a nervous flutter returning to your stomach. There were dozens of people milling around, all dressed up for one of the cities biggest charity events. It was a place that you knew Sidney was familiar with, even if you still felt massively out of place.
The hotel that the gala was being held in that night was a masterpiece of luxurious elegance expertly blended with sleek and stunning modern touches. Giant evergreen wreathes draped in thick velvet ribbons hung from the soaring stone arches. A massive Christmas tree in the middle of the main lobby, dripping in champagne-gold glass, twinkling white lights, and red poinsettias.
“You doing okay?” Sidney asked as he shifted the SUV into park behind a sleek black Escalade.
You turned your head to look at him, desperately trying to tamp down the anxiety that had returned full force the moment he’d turned into the drop-off area. He looked devastating tonight and it was all you could do not to pinch yourself, you were so convinced you might have been dreaming it all up. In the dim light of the amber lights overhead, Sidney’s hazel eyes were warm and fixed entirely on you.
“Just taking it all in.” You replied, giving him a slightly nervous smile. “It’s gorgeous out there.”
“Not as gorgeous as who I’m looking at in here.” Sidney replies smoothly, a smirk hitching at the corner of his mouth.
You roll your eyes but before you can come up with a reply, a valet in a dark jacket steps up to the passenger side, opening your door with a polite tip of his head and a friendly, “Good evening, welcome to the Penguins Foundation Charity Gala.”
The biting December air immediately cuts at your bare shoulders but before the chill could fully set in, Sidney is already there. He had somehow rounded the hood of his car in seconds, his broad frame blocking the wind as he held out a hand to help you out of his SUV.
Sidney’s hand settles heavily onto the small of your back, his palm radiating scalding heat straight through the thin silk of your dress. His thumb strokes slow, possessive circles against your hip as he pulls you up against his side as he hands the valet his keys.
“Ready?” He murmurs in your ear, the warmth of his breath fanning out over your skin, eliciting a delicious shiver straight down your spine.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You reply, drawing in a deep, steadying breath as he leads you towards the revolving doors and into the roaring warmth of the already busy marbled lobby.
The moment you cross the threshold, the chaos of the lobby hits you right in the chest. Crystal chandeliers glimmered overhead, a string quartet ensemble played in the corner, their melodies echoing off of the high marble walls, and an intimidating line of press and photographers lined the red carpet area that had been set up for the guests arriving. The sudden wall of flashing cameras and busy voices was dizzying, so much so that you paused mid-step for a split second.
Sidney felt your slight hesitation like it had been his own. He adjusts his stride without missing a beat, stepping in front of you for a brief moment before placing himself between your body and the line of press. His hand stays firmly around your waist, his thumb doing making small, grounding circles against your hip.
It wasn’t long until people realized the captain had arrived.
“Sid! Sidney! Over here!” Camera lenses swung in your direction, their shutter clicks firing off like gunfire.
A frazzled PR person intercepted you just before you both hit the press line, informing Sidney that he just had to make the rounds and talk to a few of the reporters briefly before heading in. Sidney agreed and for a moment, the PR girl seemed to think you were going to take a step back and allow him to have the spotlight. And honestly, if you’d had your way you would have gladly done so.
Sidney, however, has his own plans.
He drops his hand on your hip but reaches for your hand instead, lacing his fingers tightly with yours before giving you a quick look that asked if you were okay without words. You tipped your head, with him acting as a buffer between you and the flashing cameras, it didn’t seem all that intimidating anymore.
As you walked down the red carpet beside Sidney, a couple of senior reporters - veterans that had covered Sidney’s career for nearly two decades and knew how fiercely he guarded his private life - stopped mid-sentence, their jaws going slack.
Sidney Crosby, the man who notoriously showed up to every Penguins function alone, hadn't just brought a date to the most important event of the year, he was holding onto you like you was the only thing keeping him anchored to the ground.
“Sid!” Mick Frembies, one of the beat writers who had a good relationship with Sidney, shouts, a look of shock on his face. “Sidney Crosby, I never thought I’d see the day. My wife is going to lose her mind when I tell her someone’s finally snatched up the most eligible bachelor in the city. Who's the lucky girl, Sid?"
Sidney gives the older man a wide smile before tugging you to his side. “Well first, I'm the lucky one tonight, not her. And this is YN.” He says by way of introduction as you hold out a hand to Mick, “My girlfriend.”
An audible ripple of whispers fluttered through the foyer, your face heating at the sudden attention. Mick raised his eyebrows, looking as surprised as everyone else in the room, including that frazzled PR girl who was a few steps behind the two of you. Camera flashes went into overdrive, the light bouncing off the gold and blush beading of your dress as the reporters scrambled to scribble down your name.
The ever-single, notoriously private captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins had just introduced a girlfriend to the city for the first time in his career.
The whispers pick up like wildfire catching a gust of wind along the carpet but as Sidney pulls away from Mick, he leans down, his lips brushing at the shell of your ear and whispers, “You’re doing amazing.” And just like that, the overwhelming noise of the room completely fades into the background.
As you and Sidney reach the end of the red carpet and step towards the double doors that lead towards the ballroom, a squeal of delight cuts through the ambient noise of the lobby.
“I knew it!” Anna gushes, abandoning Geno completely and marching straight over to you. "I told Geno earlier, I knew you'd look perfect!"
Right behind her are Catherine and Kelsey, their eyes wide as they take in the full effect that your hair and makeup has on the dress they’d help choose. The three wives instantly form a protective ring around you, all of them ignoring their husbands completely as they begin to fuss over you.
“YN, oh my GOD.” Kelsey gasps, reaching out to run her fingertips over the fluttering sleeves of the gown. “The dress looks even better in this light. And your hair! You look so good, I’m surprised Sidney let you out of his reach!”
“I told you!” Catherine chimes in, a triumphant smile on her face as she exchanges a glance with Anna. “I told you the gold beading was going to make you glow under these lights. Look at you!”
“You look breathtaking, sweetie.” Anna gushes, leaning in to give you a careful hug so as not to wrinkle your dress. “I hope you’re ready to be on every best-dressed list in the city tomorrow.”
Heat blooms on your cheeks as a genuine laugh starts somewhere in your chest. “Thanks you guys. Honestly, I was so nervous on the drive here, I’m surprised I didn’t faint before we made it though that red carpet gauntlet.”
“Nervous for what?” Kris Letang chuckles, stepping up beside his wife and offering you a genuine smile. “You had half the press trying to figure out who you were the moment you walked in on Sid’s arm.”
“Yeah, you’ve caused quite the stir there, Cap.” Bryan Rust adds with a grin, clapping Sidney on the shoulder. “I thought Mick was going to pass out then and there when you called her your girlfriend. I swear I heard someone say YN is about to be the most envied girl in Pittsburgh, landing you.”
Sidney’s grip on your waist tightens a fraction, pulling you closer against his side. His expression softens as he looks down at you, totally unbothered by the audience you had watching.
“Like I told Mick, I’m the lucky one.” He says, voice thick with emotion that he rarely ever lets come to the surface in public like this. “I get to have the prettiest girl in the room on my arm tonight.”
A meaningful quiet fell over the group.
Kris, Geno, and Bryan trade a raised-eyebrow look with each other as the three women exchange a series of rapid, knowing glances. The quick banter falters momentarily as a quiet realization ripples through Sidney’s inner circle: Oh, this is serious. They are both totally gone for each other.
Sidney, who is entirely oblivious - or just entirely unbothered - by the groups silent communication, simply leans down to press a lingering kiss to your temple.
“Come on.” He murmurs against your skin, offering his arm to lead you into the ballroom. “Let’s go get you a drink before the speeches start.”
penguins_foundation posted!
penguins_foundation Oh what a night!! Thank you to all of our generous donors, front office staff, players, and everyone that was involved in tonight's fundraising gala and silent auction! Thanks to you, we raised over $750,000 for area charities and programs! The Pittsburgh family is truly one of a kind. GO PENS! (tagged: all contributing businesses and silent auction donors)
user02 no because i was there and those auction items were amazing!
>>>user34 the 5 night spa vacation package to aspen? omg!
user321 i spy with my little eye the fab basket @/pine-and-pagebooks donated!!
>>>user02 omg that basket was SO GOOD. i looked at it near the end of the night and the bids were well above $200!
>>>user555 YN, the owner, is the sweetest person on planet earth, i adore her!
user000 anyone else see that sid showed up with a date on his arm???
>>>user042 OMG YES. i think @/pittsburgh-gossip posted about it!
>>>user122 HE WAS WITH YN FROM @/PINE-AND-PAGEBOOKS!
>>>user000 @/user122 omg no fucking way, i love that. i love YN, her store is my fave indy store in the city!!!
pittsburg-gossip posted!
pittsburgh-gossip is the captain finally taken??? we all know how chronically single and totally focused on hockey our beloved captain is but tonight was a totally different story! people who attended the gala snapped these pictures of the woman that showed up on sidney's arm tonight. she didn't just stay by his side either. we had one person DM us saying that she seemed very close to some of the other WAGs in attendance including anna malkin and kelsey rust!
user22 my dad was one of the reporters working the red carpet! sid 100% introduced her as his girlfriend!
user456 wait, am i crazy or is that YN from pine and page books???
>>>user87 OMG IT LOOKS LIKE IT. she donated a basket to the auction too, didn't she???
>>>user456 SHUT UP what if they met because of the gala and now they're dating?!
user52 i've been going to pine and page since it opened. YN is an absolute sweetheart of a human being and there is no one better suited for our captain!
user009 i was there and they were so stinkin' cute all night long. he was very attentive and constantly checking in.
>>>user041 omg i am so happy for them both AHHHH
user387 that dress is gorgeous, omg
>>>user21 i need to know where she got it. it looks like it was made for her
The heavy doors of the hotel closed behind you later that evening, shutting out the dull roar of the ballroom. Stepping out into the freezing midnight air felt like taking your first real breath in hours. The snowfall from earlier had tapered off into a light dusting with fat, lazy snowflakes drifting slowly from the inky black sky.
Just a few hours ago, you’d sat in the passenger’s seat of Sidney’s car, your stomach in knots with a lingering dreadful feeling of imposter syndrome whispering in your ear that you didn’t belong in a room like that, standing next to a man like Sidney.
Now, as the valet brought the SUV around, the anxiety was gone.
Sidney opens the passenger side door for you, his hand steady on your waist as you slide inside, the silk of your dress pooling around your legs. He shuts the door with a solid thump and rounds the hood before climbing into the drivers seat.
Before he puts the car into drive though, he turns fully in his seat to look at you, the soft amber glow of the hotel illuminating the inside of the car just enough so that he could see you. The formal mask that Sidney wore in public disappears in a blink, instantly replaced by a softer Sidney, the version of him that you knew best was looking at you with a reverent sort of pride that made your chest ache.
“You were unbelievable in there tonight.” Sidney says, his voice raspy from all the talking he’d done over the last few hours.
A genuine smile touches the corner of your mouth. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He replies, shifting the car into drive before reaching over to rest his hand heavily on your thigh, the heat from his palm melting straight through the silk of your dress. “You had every single person in that room wrapped around your finger within five minutes. Coach’s wife couldn’t stop raving about you when you went to the ladies room with Kelsey. I had five different execs from the front office come over to me to ask where I found you and if you’d be coming to every event with me from now on.”
“They did not.” You laugh, incredulous at the thought.
Sidney squeezes your thigh, the tips of his fingers slipping beneath the fabric through the slit in your dress. “They absolutely did, baby. You completely owned that room.” He slides his gaze over to you while he’s stopped at a red light. “And by the way, I told them that if I had my way, you’d be my plus one for every single event from now on, so…”
The implication of what Sidney says sits heavy in your chest, the thought of him wanting you to be by his side so publicly makes your heart race.
“I was terrified when we walked in.” You admit, leaning back against the leather headrest, looking over at his profile as he pulls onto the freeway.
“I know.” Sidney says, his thumb tracing a slow circle against your leg. “Which makes me even more proud of you. Though…” A wicked smirk kicks up across his handsome face, his eyes glinting with a bit of possessive amusement. “I could have done without that idiot rookie trying to take you home.”
You let out a soft huff of laughter, shaking your head. “You about scared the poor kid to death with the way you were scowling at him!”
“He’s lucky you stepped in before I did more than scowl at him.” Sidney mutters, turning his attention back to the road and pulling his SUV onto a snow-dusted street. “Kid needs to learn to pay attention to who walks in the door with who.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a jealous man, Crosby.” You purr. Sidney gives you a sidelong glance at the teasing lilt in your voice but all you do is smirk, your fingertips dancing across the back of his wrist to feel the heavy thump of his pulse beneath his watch. “Or maybe you’re just a little possessive.”
Sidney’s grip tightens on your thigh just a fraction.
“Both.” His voice drops an octave, turning into that husky rasp that sends shivers down your spine. “I am possessive over what’s mine.”
“Is that what I am, Sidney? Yours?” The way your voice has gone breathless should be embarrassing.
Sidney’s jaw flexes.
“I was about five seconds away from dragging you out into the middle of the dance floor and kissing you breathless so there wasn’t a single doubt in anyone’s mind who you belonged to.”
A dizzying rush of heat pools in the pit of your stomach.
“Well…” You murmur, “Even though we’re not at the gala anymore, you can still show me who I belong to.”
Sidney’s fingertips slip up higher on your bare thigh as they dig into the skin there, hard enough to bruise.
“Is that right?” His thumb traces an agonizingly heavy path across your skin, rubbing just high enough to make your breath catch in the back of your throat. That cocky smirk you’re used to seeing from him when he’s on the ice tugs at the corner of his mouth again. “Don’t tempt me, pretty girl. We’re only five minutes from the house…”
“I’m not tempting you, Sidney.” Placing your hand over his, you drag the tips of your nails across the warmth of his skin. “I’m telling you.”
When Sidney finally pulls the car into your driveway, the quiet snick of the gears shifting into park felt like a the pull of a trigger. He cuts the ignition and you two are plunged into a sudden, surreal quiet. Outside, your neighborhood was completely still beneath a blanket of fresh snow. Inside the car though, the air feels impossibly thick and electric, charged with everything that’s been said on the drive home.
Sidney’s hand was still resting heavily on your bare thigh, his thumb flexed into your flesh. The possessive fire that had fueled his touch on the drive home suddenly settled into something heavier, quieter - something that felt all consumingly inevitable.
He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to face you. There was no way he was going to make any assumptions tonight. Sidney reminds himself of his promise to you weeks ago: everything between you two happens at your pace and only that. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to pick you up and haul you inside but he taps into that carefully honed self-control that he’s developed after years of being a professional athlete.
You were going to be in charge tonight, even if you wanted him to take over.
“We’re home.” Sidney says into the quiet, his heart feeling like it was about to beat right out of his chest.
You looked up at him from beneath your lashes, your pulse fluttering wildly as you watched the way his jaw ticked when your gazes met in the dim, snow-brightened night. Sidney brings his hand up from your thigh to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his chest expanding with a deep breath as you watched how tightly he was controlling his entire existence for you.
“Cooper is spending the entire night at my parents tonight.” You tell him, even though you knew he was already aware of that fact. “He won’t be home until tomorrow afternoon.”
Sidney swallowed hard, his Adams apple bobbing as he watched the shimmer on your eyelids dance in the low light.
“Is that right?” His warm breath fanned out against your cheek as he leaned in closer.
“Uh-huh.” You whisper, a teasing smile tugs at your mouth as you lean forward to smooth a hand over his chest. “So you can totally go home if you’re tired or…”
The invitation hangs in the air but Sidney still refuses to make that last move.
“Or?” He prompts.
“Or you can come inside with me.” You finish, somehow feeling brave enough to ask for what you really wanted tonight: him.
Sidney visibly shivers, his gaze dropping to your mouth before it snaps back up to your eyes.
“I’m coming inside.”
“Thank God.” The relief in your voice is audible.
Before you can even unbuckle your seatbelt, Sidney is out of the truck and striding around the hood of the car, desperate to get you inside and behind closed doors. He practically carries you inside, suddenly in a rush to get you out of the cold.
When the heavy door clicks shut behind you, the midnight cold is locked out tight, leaving the two of you bathed in the golden light of your foyer. An unspoken and dangerous tension hangs in the air, thick enough to choke on. Both of you instantly play into the quiet lie though, pretending that this was just a normal end to a normal night.
“God, my feet are killing me.” You breathe, letting out a dramatic sigh to fill the silence.
Leaning against the wall, you lift one foot to undo the buckle the strap of your heels. But before you can even touch the the thin, gold leather that loops around your ankle, Sidney is there, kneeling in front of you. You swear you almost whimper when he lifts your foot just a fraction, his thick fingers deftly handling the delicate strap. His thumb swipes a heavy trail across your ankle bone as he tugs off the shoe before looking up at you, his mouth parted in that cocky grin he gives you when he knows he’s doing something you like.
“Other foot, please.”
He does the same thing with your right foot, your hand resting on his broad shoulder for balance as you take in the sight in front of you. Every few seconds, Sidney looks up at you and your stomach tumbles down to your toes with how confident and self-assured he looks.
Who knew that one of the hottest things Sidney would ever do to you was take off your shoes?
“Thank you.” You say quietly when he stands back up, your shoes discarded on the floor beside you. “I’m going to get a glass of water.” Offering him an innocent smile you flounce down the hallway, leaving Sidney staring after you in the foyer.
The hardwood floor in the kitchen is cool beneath your feet as you saunter away. The look you toss over your shoulder at Sidney has him desperately clinging to the last well-worn thread of control he still possesses. You open the refrigerator and slowly pull out the pitcher of ice water, doing everything in your power to prolong the agonizingly thrilling illusion that both of you were about to lose control.
“Do you want anything?” You call out as casually as you can manage, reaching into the cabinet above the dishwasher for two glasses. “Water? I bought some more of that beer you brought over last we—”
You don’t even get to finish your sentence before Sidney is behind you, pressing your body into the granite countertop with his own. Before you can even take a breath, his hands grab at your hips as the heat from his body rolls off of into your back. Your breath catches, the glass in your hand toppling onto the counter with a loud whack as he spins you around.
The last flimsy thread of his control snaps so violently it gives you whiplash.
“I don’t want a fucking drink, YN.” His voice is tighter than his grip on your hips.
Before you can even process what’s happening, Sidney’s hands grasp at your waist, lifting you up off the ground like you weighed nothing and sets you down on the edge of the countertop. You barely manage a gasp as you’re now eye-to-eye with him.
Sidney steps between your knees the best he can with your dress in the way, using his broad frame to crowd you. Your knuckles turn white from gripping the edge of the counter so hard when he frames your face with his hands, his thumbs pressing firmly against your chin, tilting your head back a fraction.
“Sid—”
His mouth collides with yours so desperately your teeth click against his, the possessive confidence of his kiss making your head spin. Every coherent thought eddies right out of your head as Sidney kisses you like a man starved, his tongue pressing past your lips as a ragged groan rumbles deep in his chest.
The only reaction you can manage is a gasp into his mouth, your hands snapping up to clutch at his broad shoulders, fingers twisting in his crisp dress shirt so you can pull him impossibly closer. Sidney’s hands slide down your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair so he can tilt your head to deepen the angle as he devoured you. He presses himself against you as closely as he can, his solid body pinning you where you sat.
By the time he pulls back just a fraction to allow you to suck in a breath, your heart is hammering against your ribs, your lips are flushed and swollen, and your mind is a hazy mess.
“I don’t want any water.” He growls against your mouth, his eyes nearly black with unhinged desire as his hands slide down to grip at your thighs, yanking you even closer to his chest. “I want you to tell me what you need.”
You were sat on the edge of the island, breathless and dizzy, your mind hazy from the way Sidney had just kissed you. Sidney stays right between your legs, his solid frame trapping you as his eyes search your flushed face, trying to see if he could read your mind.
“Tell me what you need.” Sidney murmurs again, firmly enough to sound like a demand.
You open your mouth, but the words get stuck behind your teeth. A sudden wave of shyness washes over you, making your cheeks burn even hotter. You’d been on your own for so long — handling every single decision, running your entire life completely solo, taking care of everyone else — that actually putting a voice to what you needed from Sidney tonight felt terrifyingly raw, leaving you too exposed to even look him in the eyes.
You weren’t even entirely sure what you wanted in this moment, only that your entire body was practically humming with a desperate need for Sidney to keep touching you.
Dropping your gaze to your lap, your lashes cast long shadows over your cheeks as your fingers tightened in the fabric of his shirt.
“I…” Your voice shakes slightly as you try to figure out how to voice the way your chest feels to tight and your skin feels too hot and how you’re fairly certain that the only thing that will make it feel better is having Sidney touch you everywhere. “I don’t know. I don't know what I need Sid, it's been so long since I've been allowed to need anything from anyone.”
The confession feels so mortifying you can’t even begin to consider looking up.
Sidney’s jaw flexes, trying to contain the way he wants to take the lead but he knows he can’t. He can’t rush you. He doesn’t laugh either, doesn’t pull away. He knows you need more than that, that you need the confidence to be able to put words to what was bouncing around in your chest.
A quiet sort of experienced confidence settles firmly in his stomach, it was the quiet authority of a man who knew exactly who he was and how to take care of what was his.
Reaching up, Sidney hooks two fingers under your chin to gently tilt your face back up until you’re forced to look at him again.
“Hey…” He murmurs softly, like he’s talking to a scared animal ready to bolt. “Listen to me, pretty girl. You don’t have to know, you don’t have to figure it out, okay? You don’t have to think at all tonight if you don’t want to.”
A shudder runs down your spine at his words. The relief of hearing him say those words was overwhelming in the best way. You didn’t have to be in charge. You didn’t have to manage the situation. You could just hand over control to him and shut your brain off.
It felt like freedom.
“You’ve been carrying everything on your own for way too long.” Sidney leans in, his mouth ghosting over the shell of your ear. “I’ll take care of you tonight, okay? I’ve got you.”
“Okay.” You whisper, the word tasting like surrender.
“Good girl.” He says before nipping gently at your earlobe, his teeth scraping deliciously against the soft skin there.
The praise hits you squarely in the chest and sends a hot wave of pleasure straight down to your toes. Your entire body shivers, a brief sigh of relief slipping from your lips at how sharply your body responded to Sidney’s approval.
Sidney catches the shift in your posture immediately. That slow, cocky smirk touches his lips again, a dark sense of satisfaction gleaming in his eyes as he realizes just how much those two words had undone you.
“You liked that, didn’t you?” He asks, his hands tracing a heavy line up your thighs, his palms smoothing over the silk fabric of your dress with a deliberate pressure that had you clenching your thighs together. “You like when I tell you just how good you are, don’t you? I bet if I slipped my fingers between those fucking thighs of yours, I’d be so proud of how wet you are for me.”
You bury your face into the crook of his neck with a quiet, whimpering sigh as you completely lean into him, melting into the solid strength of his chest as he takes control of the entire situation.
“I’m going to make this so easy for you, baby.” Sidney rasps, his voice thick and possessive against your temple. “All you have to do is sit here, look pretty, and let me tell you how perfect you are. Can you do that for me?”
It takes a moment for you to find your voice but you manage to make a noise that sounded like something close to a ‘yes’.
Sidney slides his arms under your knees and behind your back, lifting you off the counter and tucking you against his chest as he carried you up the dimly lit stairs. You felt impossibly light in his arms, your cheek resting right up against his collarbone, your fingers curled tight into the lapel of his suit jacket. You could feel every single frantic beat of his heart but Sidney forced his breathing to stay even, grounding himself in the quiet weight of the anticipation that was singing through his veins.
He wanted you so badly it was almost hard to see straight. He’d wanted you all night, from the second you’d walked down the stairs looking nervous and gorgeous all at once. As Sidney pushes open your bedroom door with his hip, the silver slice of shimmering moonlight illuminating the otherwise darkened room he has to give himself a grounded reality check.
He wasn’t going to rush this. He couldn’t rush this. Sidney wasn’t going to let the heat of the moment blur the line between what you needed and what he wanted. Because what you needed was always going to be more important than what he wanted.
Always.
Sidney sets you down gently on the edge of the mattress. Not wanting to intimidate you with his size, he chooses against towering over you or pinning you beneath him. Instead, he drops straight down on one knee onto the floor right between your legs. His hands rest on your thighs, broad and warm, flexing into the trembling skin.
Reaching up with one hand, he rests his palm on the side of your neck, thumb gently stroking over your fluttering pulse point. He watches your face, searching every flicker of emotion that dances across your expression while working to keep himself entirely neutral for even just the briefest of moments.
“I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me right now, baby?” There was so much raw emotion working in his throat, he couldn’t have hidden it if he’d tried.
Sidney sees the way you look down at him, vulnerable and breathless, eyes wide and doe-like. It makes his chest tighten, knowing that no one else gets to see you this way, that no one else gets to see such a stripped down version of you. It was the greatest thing you could have ever given him.
He knew how much you carried every single day. He knew you were used to being the strong one, the one who just handled everything without a second thought because if you didn’t handle it, no one else would. And while Sidney prided himself on being the man who could step in, take control, and give you permission to just check out, he also needed you to know that your voice was the only one that mattered in this room.
“I know how good it’s going to feel to just let go and let me take over.” He says softly as he drags the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. “And I swear to God I will take care of you but I also need you to remember that you are the one calling the shots here.”
You swallow hard, your fingers twitching in your lap. Sidney grips your knee just a little tighter, making sure that you’re paying attention to every single word that comes out of his mouth.
“If all you want tonight is for me to take this suit off, get into bed with you and hold you until morning, then that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” The firmness in his voice tells you he means every single word. There wasn’t a shred of hesitation in his mind, no hidden expectations. No way in hell you could ever disappoint him. “I promised you we would always go at your pace and I’m not going to go back on that promise now just because we’re in the bedroom and you’ve given me control.”
He thumb smooths over your cheek as he admires the pink flush of your skin. He leans forward just enough so that his breath skates over your lips as he lowers his voice into a rough, quiet murmur.
“I need you to be 100% honest with me about what you’re feeling.” He starts, holding your gaze, letting you see every bit of control he’s desperately holding onto. “If something feels like too much or if you get overwhelmed you tell me. You don’t have to worry about disappointing me or ruining the mood. My only priority in this room is making sure that you feel safe and taken care of.”
“Okay.” You manage, your cheeks burning.
“If the words get stuck or if it’s just too hard to say it out loud, just tap me, okay?” His hand covers yours to move it squarely over his heart, pressing your fingers gently into his chest. “Two taps. Anywhere on me, my arms, my back, whatever. The second I feel it, everything stops. Instantly. Okay?”
Overwhelmed by the way he’s going out of his way to make sure you feel safe, you give a quick nod of your head, your throat feeling too tight to speak.
His hand stays firmly over yours on his chest as he shakes his head, “I need your words, baby.” Sidney insists softly, his thumb swiping a slow arch over your jaw. “Use your words. Tell me you understand.”
“Two taps. Got it. Two taps and it stops.”
Sidney stays right there on his knees, his hands grounding you. For the fist time in as long as you could remember, the constant need to manage everything and every one falls away, leaving only the strangely new feeling of certainty of how deeply you could trust the man in front of you.
“Good girl.” He soothes, a genuine smile hitching up at the corner of his mouth. “Can you tell me what you need now.”
“I’m not entirely sure what I need…” You whisper, surprised at how steady your voice sounds despite the way your fingers are shaking as you reach up to trace the hard planes of Sidney’s jaw. “But I know I want you. All of you. In whatever way you want to give me.”
The last thread of Sidney’s ironclad restraint snaps.
A rough sound rumbles at the back of his throat as he shakes his head, unbelieving at how lucky he’s been tonight, at how lucky he’s been since you’d waltzed into his life. His hands slide up from your knees to circle around your waist as he stands up and pulls you with him, bringing you smoothly to your feed in front of him.
Sidney is determined to take his time with you. He knows how much this means to you, how much it means to him and the very last thing he wants is to go too fast for either of you.
In the dim, silvery light of your bedroom, Sidney reaches behind you. His long fingers close around the sipper at the top of your dress, slowly tugging it down. The gold fabric loosens and he smoothes his hands over your shoulders and down the long lines of your torso, peeling you right out of the dress. It slips down your body, pooling on the floor around your bare feet in a shimmer of gold and pink silk.
Sidney’s breath catches, his pupils blowing wide as he takes you in. You’d specifically chosen the black and pink lingerie with him in mind, the delicate lace pattern practically glowing in the moonlight that spilled in from the window behind you. He stays frozen for a moment, his jaw set as his gaze drags slowly up your body, heavy with awe so intense it made your pulse flutter like a scared hummingbird.
“Christ…” He groans, his voice low and reverent as his hands settle firmly on your bare hips. “Look at you, pretty girl. You look…I swear to God, I can’t even believe I’m the one who gets to see you like this.”
A soft, uncertain smile touches your lips, like you couldn’t quite believe he was saying these things about you, like the quiet reverence in his voice was too much. Reaching up, you rest your hands on his chest, your fingers feeling the frantic thump of his heartbeat.
“I’ve been hoping you’d be the one taking it off at the end of the night since I put it on.” You confess, looking up at him through your lashes.
Sidney lets out a rough exhale, his fingertips digging just a bit deeper into your hips as you watch a look of possessive satisfaction flare in his eyes.
“Is that right?” He muses, leaning down to brush his lips against yours. “Well, you’re not going to have to wait much longer.”
His hands slide around to the center of your back and with a practiced sort of ease that makes your knees weak, Sidney finds the clasp of your bra, undoing it with a quick flip of his fingers. He tugs the straps off your shoulders, letting the last drop onto the gown still sitting at your feet. Pressing his body into yours, his frame crowds you as he dips his head to ghost his lips over the sensitive hollow of your collarbone while his hands map the curves of your waist up towards the bare skin of your chest.
“Good girl.” He coos against your mouth, the praise vibrating straight to the fire already sparking to life in your belly. “So good for me…already doing so well.”
Sidney shrugs out of his jacket before unbuttoning his dress shirt with quick movements, tossing them aside so he can finally feel you against his bare chest. Every touch felt heavy and deliberate, thick with an emotional intensity that made your head feel light and dizzy.
He backs you up until your knees hit the bed, slowly lowering you down so your head is resting against the pillows at the head, his body draping over yours in a heavy, warm weight that makes you never want the night to end.
“There you go, pretty girl. I’ve got you.” Sidney says against your skin, his hands touching every inch of heated, exposed skin beneath him. “Just let go, you don’t have to think about anything else tonight.”
You let out a long breath, wrapping your arms around his shoulders so you can pull his heavy warmth down over you. For the first time in years, the weight that you lived with always hanging over your head completely lifts, replaced by the grounding safety of his arms.
Sidney’s mouth finds yours in a kiss that is slow and deep and so utterly possessive, you find yourself arching into him without even meaning to. You give yourself over to the rhythm he sets, completely consumed by the heat of his skin, the way he keeps murmuring praise against your lips, and the overwhelming certainty that you were exactly where you belonged.
As your entire world narrows into the soft, moonlit darkness of the room and the way Sidney’s mouth felt on your body, you close your eyes and simply let yourself fall.
Soft golden sunlight filtered through your bedroom curtains, painting warm stripes across the tangled white sheets that laid rumpled on your bed.
Waking up was slow and luxurious, a hazy kind of laziness that had you stirring gently out of sleep. Your skin was warm and sensitive and as you blinked awake you found yourself pressed up against the solid, radiating heat of Sidney’s chest flush against your back. One of his arms was draped possessively over your waist, tucking you tightly against his chest as his quiet, steady breathing fanned out against the back of your neck.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel that familiar sharp spike of morning anxiety. There wasn’t a mental checklist racing through your mind or a to-do list thousands of miles long that sat waiting for you on your phone.
All you felt was peace.
Sidney shifts slightly behind you, his grip tightening for a brief second before he pressed a soft, open-mouthed kiss to the bare skin between your shoulder blades.
“Good morning, pretty girl.” Sidney’s voice was low and thick from sleep, scratching delightfully against your already sensitive skin.
“Good morning.” You reply, turning in his arms to face him.
He looked soft in the morning light, his dark hair messy and hazel eyes heavy-lidded and filled with a contented sort of warmth that had your pulse spiking. This Sidney, this undone and soft version of the NHL legend, was your favorite version that only you got to see.
Sidney leans in, pressing a lazy kiss to your mouth that tasted like forever.
“Don’t move.” He murmurs against your lips, brushing a stray lock of hair out of your face. “I’m going to go make some coffee, I’ll be right back.”
He pulls away reluctantly, swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress. You lean back against the pillows, wathing with a grin as he pulls on a pair of gray sweatpants he’d brought with him and pads barefoot out of the room towards the stairs.
As you listen to his footsteps descend towards the kitchen, you reach over to your nightstand, grabbing your phone off the charge just to make sure your mom or dad hadn’t texted you about Cooper during the night.
There wasn’t anything from either of your parents but the screen was completely flooded anyways. The lock screen was an overwhelming wall of notifications - thousands of Instagram likes and comments and new follower alerts littered the screen. Your jaw dropped as you scrolled through the notification feed of Pine & Page’s Instagram account. Your follower account had skyrocketed overnight on both Instagram and TikTok.
Sometime after the gala, the foundation’s social media admin had tagged you in their recap post from that night, highlighting the silent auction you had contributed to. The internet, however, works hard and fast and it wasn’t long before people in the comments started connecting the dots: the owner of the tiny bookstore in Pittsburgh that had donated a gift basket was also the woman that had appeared on Sidney Crosby’s arm that same night.
A nervous laugh bubbles up in your chest as you scrolled through the influx of sweet comments and notifications. A lot of your regulars at the bookstore were on the foundation’s page singing your praises. Pine & Page was also tagged in several different sports and Pittsburgh gossip pages in blurry photos from people who had attended the gala and wanted to capture the Captain’s new flame.
As you click into your DM’s to glance through the cluttered inbox, your stomach plummets straight to the floor.
One message stands out at the top of your inbox. The name on the account was a painful reminder of ancient history that you’d spent ten years trying to put behind you. Your pulse spikes instantly as a sickening sting of shock and dread cuts through your veins as you read the message from the man that had abandoned you and Cooper a decade ago:
“So this is what you’re doing with your life now? Playing house with a famous hockey player while my kid is raised around strangers? You think you can just hide behind his money and pretend I don’t exist? I spoke to a lawyer this morning. You’ve been keeping Cooper form me for years. I have rights, YN and I want my son back. If you don’t call me by the end of the week to sort this out, I’m taking you to court. Don’t fucking test me, YN.”
The earth tilts beneath you as a loud buzzing sound fills your ears. The calm bubble you’d been floating in for the last twelve hours pops so quickly, you struggle to take a breath. A wave of suffocating fear crashes over you as your hands begin to shake violently as your vision tunnels into black pinpoints as the ghost of a past you’d thought was dead and buried comes rushing back to threaten the life you’d fought so hard to build for you and Cooper.
“You might want to order some more coffee this week babe, I just —” Sidney walks back into the bedroom holding two mugs but stops dead in his tracks the second his eyes land on you.
Your hands were trembling so badly, your phone was shaking in your grip and your face was white as a ghost, with tears welling in your eyes.
In a split second, Sidney sets down the mugs on the dresser and crosses the room, dropping onto the edge of the bed beside you.
“Baby…hey, baby, what’s wrong?” Sidney asks urgently, his hands coming up to frame your face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that spilled over. “Look at me, YN. You’re scaring me. What happened?”
“He…he found me. He messaged the store’s page.” You choke out, your voice breaking as you handed him your phone. “Cooper’s bio dad. He saw the pictures from the gala, it’s all over the sports blogs and city gossip accounts. He hasn’t tried to reach out in over ten years, not since he signed his rights away. Sid…he’s saying he spoke to a lawyer. He’s…” Your voice shakes as you try to wrap your head around what was happening. “He’s threatening to take me to court and get custody of Cooper.”
Sidney takes the phone, eyes sharp as he scans the screen. His jaw sets into a hard line while he reads the message, a muscle ticking violently in his cheek. You watch as the content and soft Sidney is replaced by a fiercely protective man who would set the world on fire before letting anyone touch you or your son.
He locks the phone and sets it face down on the nightstand, turning all of his attention right back on you. Pulling you in his lap, Sidney wraps his arms around you, holding you so tightly against his chest that you could feel the steady thud of his heartbeat.
“I want you to listen to me.” He says, the barely contained violence in his voice breaking through. “Look at me, YN.”
You force yourself to look up and meet his gaze. Your chest seizes at the unshakable strength you find in his expression.
“He’s bluffing.” Sidney starts gently, his thumb stroking your cheekbone. “He signed those rights away a decade ago. It’s over, there is nothing he can do. That piece of scum saw how happy you are, he say you in the news and now he thinks he can shake you down for money or stir up chaos because he saw you were with me. It’s a pathetic attempt to scare you into getting what he wants: money.”
“What if he tries to drag Cooper into this?” You whisper frantically, your voice raw with realization that your worst nightmare is coming true.
“He can’t and he won’t.” Sidney declares so confidently you almost believe him. “He has no legal leg to stand on. And even if he tries to cause a scene, he will have to go through me and my legal team first. And trust me, sweetheart, he does not want that battle. He has zero power over you and Cooper. None.”
Sidney reaches over to pick up your phone again and opens up the app, holding it so you can see.
“We are not going to reply.” He murmurs against your temple, his breath warm against your skin. “We are not going to give him a single drop of energy. That’s exactly what he wants and he doesn’t get to scare you into a reaction.”
With two deliberate taps of his finger, Sidney hits the Block button and then the Delete button before setting the phone back down. He pulls you back against his chest, his arms a warm shield against the rest of the world.
“He doesn’t get to scare you like this.” He says into your hair. “I’ve got you both. You and Cooper are safe, I won’t let anything happen to either of you, okay? I swear on my life.”
You bury your face in Sidney’s neck, letting his warmth ground you. But as you close your eyes and listen to the steady thump of his heart, the silence in the room feels colder than it had just twenty minutes ago. Sidney believed this was over and you desperately wished you felt the same but in the pit of your stomach, a quiet instinct tells you that after ten years of silence, a man who has nothing left to lose wasn’t going to be stopped by a block button.
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summary -> after ten years of raising your little boy alone in pittsburgh, you've has built a solid, steady life—and an mile high wall around your heart. but when local legend sidney crosby unexpectedly walks into your little bookstore, his quiet consistency slowly dismantles every defense you have. just as you begin to believe in a future you never thought possible, a bitter ghost from your past threatens to tear your world apart, forcing you to choose: run from the fear of abandonment, or trust the man who will stop at nothing to protect the family he’s chosen.
warnings -> anxiety. abandonment. single parenting. slight age gap? but it never really comes up. slow burn.
msb yaps -> the feedback i've gotten on this series has been amazing. genuinely. i am so happy STL is getting so much love because this series is so very dear to me, being a single mom myself. i've drawn a lot from my own experiences and feelings to write this and i hope i do the story that's been living in my head for years justice. if you want to be added to the tag list, lmk! divider is from @pxrce-lain
series master list | main master list | lets yap
The bell above the bookstore door chimed its familiar sound early Monday morning, followed by the heavy, familiar thud of footsteps across the hardwood floor.
“Morning!” Sidney called out, stepping into the store dressed in his usual pre-practice uniform of grey sweatpants, Penguins branded hoodie beneath a heavy winter coat, and a grey Penguins beanie pulled low over his hair. Snow dusted his shoulders and down the front of his jacket, a sign that the storm that had settled over the city as you had opened up that morning was still going strong.
He carried a steaming cup of coffee from Canelle, a ritual that was becoming something that you looked forward to every Monday morning whenever he was able to. Scanning the inside of the store, now decorated fully for christmas, Sidney spotted you behind the counter.
You looked like you were on the verge of a full-blown meltdown. Your hair was pulled back in a messy bun, your sweater slightly rumpled, the sleeves pushed up well past your elbows, as you glared down at your laptop screen as if it had personally insulted your entire family.
“That is quite the frown for 9am on a Monday morning, pretty girl.” Sidney says gently, setting the coffee down next to you. He steps around the counter to stand behind you, his fingers resting on your hip as he looks down at your computer. “What’s going on here? It looks like you’re plotting someone’s downfall.”
“I am plotting someone’s downfall: my own!” You groan, dropping your head back against his chest with a dramatic sigh. “I’ve spent the last three days dragging myself from store to store after closing. I’ve tried on dozens of dresses and none of them are going to work. Every single one makes me feel like a little girl caught playing dress up in her mother’s closet.”
Sidney turns you slightly in his arms so he can look at you fully, his expression filled with genuine confusion as he looked down at you. “What are you talking about?”
“The gala is next week, Sid.” The panic in your voice rising as you continue to scroll through the website in front of you. “I’m in the middle of the absolute worst of the Christmas rush here, my closet is exclusively sweaters and leggings, I don’t know the first thing about what kind of evening gown looks good on me. I am so far out of my league here it's not even funny. Maybe it’s just better if I don’t go.”
The second you finish your rant, Sidney’s posture shifts. The easygoing, amused smile melts off his face and is replaced by a firm look that told you he wasn’t about to mess around. His hands tightened on your waist, pulling you a fraction closer.
“Stop that right now.” Sidney says softly, though his tone is firm enough that you knew he was not going to entertain your line of rationale this morning. “First of all, you could show up in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants and you’d still be the most breathtaking woman in the entire room. And second…” He reached up, his thumb and forefinger to catch your chin, tilting your face upwards so you had to look him dead in the eye. “If anyone here is out of their league, it’s me. I’m the dumb jock who got stupidly lucky by somehow landing you. You couldn’t make me look bad even if you tried.”
Your heart does a fluttering somersault against your ribs at the sheer sincerity in his expression. “Sid…”
“You’re going.” He said, a faintly stubborn smirk hitching at the corner of his mouth. “And since I know you’re too damn proud to ask for help…”
Before you can blink, Sidney pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps the screen a few times before raising it to his ear.
“Sid, what are you doing?” You hiss, reaching for the phone.
He holds it out of your reach easily with one hand while keeping his other arm wrapped securely around your waist. “Hey, Anna. Yeah, everything is fine but we need your help...yeah, she’s spiraling about a dress for next week, how'd you know?”
Your eyes go wide, cheeks heating from sheer mortification. “Sidney Crosby, you give me that phone right now!”
Unfortunately for you, your stern mom voice that always puts Cooper in his place doesn’t seem to work on adult men.
“She’s currently threatening not to go to the gala at all because she can’t find anything that looks right. Which, is stupid if you ask me because anything she puts on her body looks fucking amazing…” Sidney chuckles as you swat him straight in the chest. “Can you help stage an intervention? Maybe call a few of the girls to help?”
He listened for a moment before he gives a quiet huff of laughter and hands you the phone. “She wants to talk to you.”
You snatch the phone from his hand, glaring daggers at him as you press it to your ear. “Anna, I am going to kill him!”
“You will do no such thing! He is a saint for calling me!” Anna’s voice was practically vibrating with excitement. “I knew you were going to try to handle this by yourself in the middle of the holiday rush! Tomorrow afternoon, one o’clock. You, me and a few of the girls are going to go dress shopping at my favorite little boutique downtown, the owner owes me a favor! No excuses!”
“Anna, I can’t tomorrow.” You tried to reason, pacing behind the counter while Sidney leans against it, taking a slow sip of your coffee with a terribly pleased look on his face. “I have to work! It’s two weeks before Christmas and the rush is eating me alive! I’m getting shipments daily and have dozens of last minute orders to send out..I just can’t leave the store!”
“I’ll cover for you!” Livvy, one of the college girls you’d hired for the season says, her eyes practically dancing with glee. “I don’t have anything going on tomorrow, I can totally take the shift! I need the extra hours anyway.”
At that exact moment, Maya emerges from the back room holding an armful of tote bags, shaking her head at you with a wide grin. “And I’ll stay back too, help close up the store so you don’t even need to rush back. You’re going dress shopping, whether you like it or not. Do not make us lock you out of your own bookstore because we will do it.”
“We will.” Livvy nods enthusiastically from across the store.
Sidney just grins like the little chaos gremlin he is.
On the phone, Anna lets out a triumphant laugh. “See! The universe has spoken! One o’clock tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at the store!”
Before you could utter another protest, the line goes dead.
You stand motionless behind the register, holding Sidney’s phone, surrounded by two giggling employees and one extremely satisfied and cocky looking NHL captain.
Sidney sets your coffee down so he can take a step towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind to rest his chin on your shoulder. “See? Problem solved.”
“You are evil.” You mutter, though you can’t stop the exasperated but fond smile from breaking across your face as you lean back against him. “All of you are evil.”
“I prefer problem solver, actually.” Sidney corrects, pressing a quick kiss into the crook of your neck before checking his watch. “And now I’m going to be late for practice. I’ll text you later, okay? I’ll bring over dinner tonight after Coops practice.”
He pulls back, giving your hip a gentle squeeze before he reaching in his pocket for his keys as he heads to the front door. As he opens it, Sidney looks back over his shoulder, his hazel eyes dancing with mischief.
“I can’t wait to see the dress, babe.”
The fitting room of the high-end boutique downtown was filled with the soft clinking of champagne flutes and the rustle of dress skirts on silk hangers. You were standing in front of a three way mirror in what was dress number six smoothing down the front of a slate-blue satin gown. That all-too familiar knot was once again settling itself deep in your stomach as you stared at your own reflection.
Seated behind you were Anna, Catherine Letang and Kelsey Rust - two other Penguin WAGs who had welcomed you into their inner circle the moment Anna had brought you through the front door that afternoon. They were warm and funny and endlessly stylish, sitting on the velvet sofas with glasses of prosecco like this was a normal Tuesday afternoon activity.
Still, a quiet voice in the back of your head kept whispering that you didn’t quite belong with them. You and Sidney hadn’t had that conversation yet. That ‘what are we’ discussion just hadn’t happened and you didn’t really know where you and Sidney stood. You knew how you felt, and you saw the way he looked at you, but stepping into his high-profile world alongside the women who were married or engaged to his teammates made you feel like an imposter.
“Stop staring at yourself like you’re looking for mistakes.” Anna says gently, setting her champagne glass down.
“I just…” You sigh, turning around to face them as you let the heavy silk skirt fall to the floor. “It’s not right. None of them are right. I still feel like I’m playing dress-up.”
Catherine leaned forward giving you a reassuring smile. “It’s intimidating, YN. We’ve all been there, that first gala, that first time in the spotlight by Sid’s side is going to be the hardest but trust me when I tell you that you belong there.”
“She’s right.” Kelsey adds, her eyes kind as she looks at you. “And if it makes you feel any better, Sid hasn’t stopped smiling in weeks. Bryan told me that Sid was practically glowing in the locker room during the game that you guys were at.”
“Honestly, we haven’t seen Sid this happy and settled in years.” Anna says sagely. “I’ve known that man almost as long as I’ve known my own husband and he is over the moon for you.”
Your chest tightened, a wave of appreciation washing over you at their words but the frustration of the pressure you’ve bene putting on yourself since Sidney asked you to be his date to the function was still overwhelming.
“I appreciate you guys so much, truly.” You say, stepping back towards the fitting room. “But I think I’ve hit a wall. I’ll text Sid, tell him I tried but that he needs to go solo. I just can’t do this.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” Anna declares, standing up before you could retreat back behind the dressing room curtain. “You do not get to give up when we have one last dress to try on.”
Anna turned and grabbed a a dress that had been hanging on the rack near the back wall - a dress that Catherine had quietly pulled ten minutes ago while you had been changing.
“Try this one.” Cathrine says carefully, handing you the dress as you back away towards the fitting room. “Just…trust us. One last dress, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll text Sid myself.”
You let out a long-suffering sigh and take the hanger in your hands. “Fine, but if this doesn’t work, we’re getting mimosas for lunch and then going home.”
Stepping back into the changing room, you pull the curtain shut and stare at the dress. It looked pretty on the hanger, but then again, all of the dresses you’d tried on up until now had looked good before you’d gotten them on.
Stepping into the dress and zipping the side zipper up, you tug at it in a few places to get the fabric to sit right.
All it takes is one look in the mirror and the frustration you’d been feeling for days now evaporates.
The dress was exquisite. The floor-length vintage inspired gown was drenched in intricate, shimmering beading in tones of warm gold, champagne and muted pink. A unique floral pattern also made completely up of beads were woven through the delicate, sparkling fabric. The bodice was structured enough to give your waist and hips shape but not enough to be overly constricting, giving you a fantastic hourglass figure that usually was hidden beneath oversized sweaters and leggings.
When you step out from behind the curtain, hair pulled back to show off the way the sweetheart neckline showed off the lines of your neck and collarbones, the entire room falls silent.
Anna’s mouth drops open as she sets her champagne flute down. Catherine gasps softly, her hand coming up to rest over her heart, while Kelsey just smiles with a satisfied ‘I told you so’ expression.
“Oh my God.” Anna whispered, stepping closer to take in the details on the little cap sleeves that were beaded as well. “You look so good…Oh Sidney is going to be in so much trouble.”
“Sid is going to lose his mind.” Kelsey giggles behind her hand.
“It’s stunning.” Catherine breathes, shaking her head.
You turn in front of the mirror, allowing the light to catch the soft gold and blush beading, a slow smile spreading across your face for the first time all day. You didn’t feel like an imposter in this dress. You didn’t feel like you were playing dress up either. The dress fit like a glove and for the first time since you started this whole fiasco, you felt like you might actually belong on Sidney’s arm for the gala next week.
“I think…” You murmured, something in your chest fluttering at the thought of Sidney seeing you in the dress. “I think this is the one.”
After admiring the dress in the mirror for a few more moments, you stepped back into the fitting room and carefully unzipped it. The sales associate, a sweet girl named Chloe, took the gown from your hands to carry it up front to get it ready for you to take home.
“I still can’t believe how perfectly that fit you.” Anna gushes as the four of you walk up towards the cash register. “Sidney is genuinely not going to know what to do when he sees you.”
“He’s going to be speechless…and for Sidney, that’s saying something.” Kelsey joked, making you laugh as you stepped up to the register at the front of the boutique.
The dress was already tucked neatly into a heavy black garment bag, hanging on the rack beside the counter. Chloe was humming to herself as she pinned the receipt directly onto the plastic sleeve covering the hanger before sliding the entire thing across the polished marble counter towards you.
You pulled out your walled, sliding our your debit card to hand it over. “Thank you so much, Chloe."
Chloe blinks, offering you a bright smile. “Oh! No, no! It’s all taken care of.”
You pause, your hand hovering mid-air. “Wait, what? What do you mean, it’s been taken care of? I haven’t paid yet.”
“It’s all taken care of!” Chloe repeated again cheerfully, tapping the receipt pinned to the bag. “Mr. Crosby called the store early this morning. He gave us his card details over the phone and instructed us to put whatever dress and accessories you picked out today on his tab. He was very specific that you weren’t allowed to pay for a single thing.”
Behind you, Anna let out a delighted little squeal while Catherine and Kelsey exchanged knowing looks.
“Oh he is good.” Kelsey whispered, nudging your shoulder with a wicked grin.
A wave of conflicting feelings washed over you, a heated crimson blush rushing straight to your cheeks. You were used to scraping by, managing every expense and budgeting down to the penny for Cooper’s hockey equipment and fees. You ran your store on a tight budget too, every sale counted towards the rent and electricity bill. Being spoiled like this, having a man so very casually pick up the tabs for such an extravagant, high-end designer gown without even a second thought felt entirely foreign to you. It made your stomach do a weird, confusing flip that was equal parts embarrassment and overwhelming affection.
“Oh…I can’t…I can’t let him do that.” You stammered, shooting a worried glance at Anna. “This dress is — Anna, this dress costs a fortune! I was totally prepared to pay for it completely by myself.”
“YN, honey, take a breath.” Catherine says gently, placing an hand on your forearm. “Sidney didn’t do this to make you uncomfortable or to show off or anything. He did it because he wants to take care of you. He knows how hard you work and saw how stressed you were about this. Sidney Crosby is the consummate problem solver, and this is his way of solving your problem.”
“She’s right.” Kelsey adds softly, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “I’ve known Sidney a long time and he doesn’t spend his money carelessly, but when he cares about someone, he wants to give them the world. Let him do this for you, it will mean so much to him. And you deserve it.”
You looked down at the receipt, seeing the words PAID IN FULL stamped on the slip of paper. You didn’t even know how to handle a gesture this grand, didn’t know what the proper etiquette was for being treated like someone else’s priority like this.
“I’m going to kill him.” You say weakly, though there was zero venom in your voice, just a heart that was hammering out of control against your ribcage.
Anna picks up the heavy garnet bag and places it over your arm, winking at you.
“You can kill him with a thank you kiss later, how about that?” Anna laughs looping her arm through yours to lead you out of the shop. “Now, come on. I know for a fact you don’t have to be back at the store at all today so we’re going to have a boozy lunch at Kelsey’s favorite Mexican place.”
“Margaritas for everyone!” Kelsey giggles as the four of you spill out onto the sidewalk and into the chilly December afternoon.
You loved this time of the evening when the house was quiet, bathed in the soft, warm glow of the living room lamps. Upstairs, Cooper was fast asleep, utterly exhausted from a full day of school and hockey practice. In the kitchen, the remnants of dinner had been cleared away already, leaving you and Sidney tucked onto the sofa together.
Sidney was slouched against the cushions, looking completely at home in a worn long sleeved t-shirt and grey sweatpants. You were curled up against his side, your head resting on his chest, listening to the grounding rhythm of his heartbeat while his hand absentmindedly playing with a stray lock of your hair.
“So,” You start, shifting slightly to rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. “We need to talk about your little stunt you pulled at the boutique today.”
Sidney doesn’t even flinch when you poke him playfully in the side. A cocky smirk slowly twitches at the corner of his lips, his eyes glinting with amusement as he looks down at you.
“Stunt?” He asks innocently. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, baby.”
“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Crosby.” You scold, poking him in the middle of the chest with a finger, though the pink flush in your cheeks was making it hard to be intimidating. “You called the boutique before practice, gave them your credit card, and insisted on paying for my dress! If you’re not careful, you’re going to spoil me.”
Sidney reached up, catching your hand mid-poke and laced his fingers through yours, bringing your knuckles towards his lips to press a kiss there.
He didn’t even have the shame to look remotely guilty. In fact, the man looked terribly pleased with himself.
“Yeah, I know.” He says smoothly, pulling your hand to rest over his heart. “Spoiling you is kind of in the boyfriend job description."
The word hangs in the air between you, heavy and unmistakable. For a moment, your brain ceases to function as it trips over the last word out of Sidney’s mouth.
Boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
Your scolding dies on your tongue as your eyes go wide, your breath catching sharply in your chest.
Sidney had said it so casually, with so much certainty, like he had decided on giving himself the title weeks ago. Like he was so sure about where this was going between you two that he didn’t even need to second guess what he meant to you, and what you meant to him.
He watches you process his words, the gears in your head practically screeching to a halt right in front of his eyes. His smirk softens into something more warm and genuine as he reaches up to curl his hand around the back of your neck.
“Did…did you just call yourself my boyfriend?” You squeak out, your voice thin and higher than normal.
“I did.” He says softly. Sliding his hand from your neck around to rest gently on your cheek, his thumb smoothing over your cheekbone. Sidney’s playful expression had vanished, replaced by an earnest intensity that made your stomach flip. “Unless…you were planning on seeing someone else?”
“Oh, shut up.” You laugh, rolling your eyes. “You know I’ve been completely gone for you for weeks now.”
That cocky smirk makes its return as he chuckles, low and husky. “Good, because I haven’t looked at another woman since the day I walked into your store. I’ve been telling you this for weeks, I’m all in, sweetheart. But I want it official now, I want us to be exclusive.” Something that looks like a flash of doubt crosses Sidney’s face for a fleeting moment as he takes a breath. “If that’s what you want, of course. I don’t want to rush you, I just want you to know where my head is at."
He pauses, dragging in a shaky breath.
“I want to be the guy that takes you out, the guy goes with you to Cooper’s games holding your hand. The guy that gets to spoil you whenever I want.” His thumb brushes over your lower lip, a wicked grin kicking up at the corner of your mouth when you nip at it gently with your teeth. “Is that…is that okay?”
The lingering worries of earlier in the day, about you not fitting into his world and feeling like an imposter evaporated into thin air as you climbed fully into Sidney’s lap, your knees bracketing his hips so you could snuggle in closer to him. The man in your living room was as solid and dependable as anyone you’d ever met, he looked at you like you held his entire world in your hands, as if you were solely responsible for hanging the stars in the sky. Seeing him look up at you with that awe struck, earnest feeling of hope, choosing Sidney was the easiest thing you’d ever done.
A radiant smile breaks across your face as you duck your head to capture his mouth in a lingering kiss.
“That is very much okay with me.” You whispered against his lips, tangling your fingers in his thick hair. “Boyfriend.”
“Damn right.” Sidney grins against your mouth, pulling you deeper into his lap as he wraps both of his arms tightly around you, settling into the quiet comfort of what you two had built over the last several months.
The night of the gala, your doorbell chimed exactly at six o’clock.
As Sidney stood on the porch, the snow falling steadily behind him, he listened to Cooper sprinting down the stairs and shouting something about how he’d get it. Moments later, the door flies open and your 10-year-old is breathless on the other side, his socks sliding a little bit on the hardwood floor.
The tuxedo he wore was custom made, tailored to fit the giant tree trunks that he called legs and his broad shoulders. After getting your opinion the night before, he’d chosen a sleek black bowtie and had stopped to get his haircut after practice that morning.
Cooper’s jaw practically hit the floor when he got a good look at his hockey hero standing in front of him. “Woah. You look like James Bond, Sid.”
Sidney lets out a quiet huff of laughter, stepping into the foyer and ruffling Cooper’s hair with a wide grin. “Thanks, bud. You look like you’re ready for the sleepover of the century.”
“Grandma promised she’d let me eat as much ice cream as I wanted tonight.” He reported happily, opening the door wider so Sidney could step inside.
“I don’t think that was the deal, kiddo.” Your dad chuckles as he walks out from the kitchen, Cooper's overnight bag slung over his shoulder.
“She said she’d give me whatever I wanted as long as I didn’t tell Sidney that Mom was upstairs ‘having a nervous breakdown in the bathroom over a dress.’”
Your dad heaves a sigh, shaking his head.
Cooper, seemingly realizing what he’d just said, claps his hand over his mouth. “Oops.”
“I won’t tell if you don’t tell, Coop.” Sidney’s mouth twitches, a warm expression settling in his eyes as he watched Cooper’s cheeks go crimson.
He turns to give your dad a firm handshake, “Evening, Mr. YLN. Thanks again for taking Cooper for the night, I really appreciate everything you and your wife do for —”
The slow click of your heels on the wood staircase cuts Sidney off mid-sentence. He turns his head towards the sound and freezes, the rest of his sentence dying in his throat.
You were walking down the stairs slowly, holding onto the bannister for balance in your heels. It was rare you wore anything other than your Uggs slippers this time of year so you were still getting used to maneuvering in the stilettos. Your hair tumbled down your back in a riot of loose waves, the front pieces pulled back in hidden french combs that opened up your face and showed off the dusting of gold glitter that shimmered along the planes of your collarbones.
You were never really someone who wore a lot of makeup, just concealer and mascara most days, but tonight you had dug deep into your makeup bag and had somehow managed a soft, smokey eye and a flush of color on your lips and cheeks that made it look like you’d just been caught off guard by one of Sidney’s kisses.
And then there was the dress.
Sidney was absolutely certain he’d never seen anything prettier. In the warm light of your foyer, the beading on your gown came alive. Every step down the stairs you took, the beading glimmered beneath the golden glow. The dress nipped in at your waist, before it cascaded down to the floor.
Sidney took three steps towards the stairs before coming to a halt. He stood completely motionless, anything he had been about to say to your dad or Cooper completely forgotten. His chest rose and fell in a slow, shallow breath as his gaze tracked your every step. He was completely and utterly struck speechless.
“Grandpa…” Cooper whispers loudly. “I think Sid is broken.”
Your dad laughed softly, nudging Cooper towards the kitchen. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go put your stuff in the car.”
As your family slips out of the foyer, you reach the bottom step, an intense heat rushing into your cheeks under Sidney’s gaze. You smooth a nervous hand down the front of the gown, suddenly feeling like that timid girl in the dressing room all over again.
“Is it…too much?” You ask quietly, your voice wobbling just a bit. “Be honest, please. The makeup, the hair, it’s a lot I —”
Before you could finish your sentence, Sidney took a step into your space. He reaches out a hand to curl around the back of your neck, his thumb resting against your jaw as he gently tilted your face up to his.
He breathed out your name like a prayer, his voice low and raspy. “You are…breathtaking.”
Looking at you like you were the only thing in the entire world, Sidney’s thumb smoothed gently over your cheekbone like he was checking to make sure you were real.
“I don’t…I mean…Christ, sweetheart…I think I’ve forgotten how to form real words.” He added with a faint laugh, his expression heated. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look as pretty as you do tonight.”
The knot of anxiety in your stomach loosened at his words and was quickly replaced by a surge of warmth that started deep in your chest and bloomed outwards to your fingertips.
“You clean up nice too, Crosby.” You tease, leaning into the palm of his hand.
Sidney’s lips curved into a devastatingly handsome grin. He leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to your temple, taking a deep breath of your perfume before pulling back to offer you his arm.
“Ready to go cause a little chaos tonight?” He asked, draping your jacket over your shoulders and offering you his elbow, his eyes glowing with pride as he looked down at you.
You wrapped your hand around his arm, grinning up at him. “Lead the way, Captain.”
your_personal_insta (private) posted!
your_personal_insta thank god for my close personal friend and stylist @/anna_malkin & the rest of the girls. without them, i'd be showing up dressed in leggings and a hoodie.
anna_malkin AND YOU'D STILL LOOK STUNNING (but this is everything and i cannot wait to see you tonight OMG)
kelsey.rust what a hottie 😮💨 sid better watch out or im gonna steal you away.
>>>your_personal_insta he says (and i quote) 'hah. i can take that pipsqueak. i'd like to see her try.
>>>kesley.rust RUDEEEEEE
catherin_letang GOD I am good, aren’t I?! I knew that one was going to work! I knew it!
>>>your_personal_insta and i could kiss you for that!!! 😘
mayamonroe21 BOSSSSSSSS
>>>livvy_loo I AM SO HAPPY WE AGREED TO LOCK YOU OUT OF THE STORE YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!
>>>your_personal_insta you two are the best ❤️
Hii! I love your work I was wondering if you could do Fraser x reader and reader is meeting Fraser’s family for the first time and is nervous and he’s just being nice and supportive and gets happy when he sees you getting along with everyone🫶🏻
Happy reading :) 2.5k words
a/n: I'm back from vacation...but my fall semester starts tomorrow 😭 I have a lot of breaks in between classes, so hopefully my workload won't be too much and I'll be able to write more consistently!
Meeting the Family
The closer the plane gets to Vancouver, the quieter you become.
Fraser noticed somewhere over the Rockies. You were usually talkative with him on flights. Pointing out funny shaped clouds through the window, showing him funny TikToks you had saved, eventually leaning against his shoulder until you inevitably fell asleep.
But today you were just quiet.
You were looking out the window, your fingers absentmindedly twisting the ring on your right hand over and over again.
He reached over the armrest, gently threading his fingers through yours, stopping the anxious motion of your fingers. “You okay?” he asks gently.
You look over, offering a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Mhm.”
He hums knowingly. “You wanna try that again?”
You sigh sharply through your nose. “I’m just nervous, Frase. What if they don’t like me?”
He shakes his head softly. “They will.”
“You don’t know that,” you mumble, looking at him skeptically.
He smiles, thumb brushing across your knuckles. “I know my family. And I know you.”
His confidence almost makes you laugh. “They’re going to think I’m awkward,” you say, shifting further into your seat, stretching your legs underneath the seat in front of you.
“They’re going to love you,” he reassures again.
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s true. You can’t convince yourself they won’t like you, that’ll have you worrying the whole time. It’ll be okay, I promise.”
You rest your head against his shoulder with another sigh. “I really want them to.” He kisses the top of your head without hesitation. “They’re already so excited to meet you.”
⊰══════════════════════⊱
By the time you pull into his parents’ driveway hours later, your stomach is in knots. The house looks exactly like the pictures Fraser had shown you.
Warm cedar siding, flower boxes that were bursting with colors, a basketball net near the garage. The backyard is visible through the fence, lush and green beneath the Vancouver sun. Off in the distance sits the lake.
“This is weird,” you whisper, holding his hand a little tighter on the center console. Fraser looks over immediately. “What is?”
“I feel like I’ve already been here,” you say. He smiles. “I’ve probably talked about it too much.”
You look back toward the house. “I just…this is where you grew up.”
“It is.”
Your hand has already reached for the car door handle before freezing. You can't do it, not yet. Were you being dramatic?
No.
Maybe?
Fraser notices the wheels turning in your head immediately. He doesn't say anything for a moment, doesn't rush you, doesn't tell you it'll be fine, he just lets you exist in your thoughts.
He simply settles back into his seat. “Need another minute?” he asks gently.
You nod. “Please.”
“Okay.”
That was it. No pressure, just quiet. You stare at the house while your heartbeat slowly settles. Eventually you take one long breath. “Okay,” you exhale.
“You sure?” he checks.
You nod again. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
He smiles softly. “Let’s go then.”
⊰══════════════════════⊱
The front door of the house opens before you even make it up the walkway. His mom steps outside first, her smile warm enough that it eases something in your chest instantly.
“Hi, sweetheart,” she says as she wraps Fraser in a hug before stepping back. “It’s so good to have you home.”
“It’s good to see you, too Mom.”
Then she turns toward you. You instinctively straighten, nerves kicking in. “Hi,” you say softly.
Instead of evaluating you or making you feel like you're being inspected...She simply smiles. “You must be exhausted after that flight, come inside.”
You blink, surprised at the immediate hospitality, but you can't expect anything less, knowing how Fraser is, of course his parents would be the same way.
Fraser grabs your hand as you follow his mother into the house. His dad greets you with a handshake and another kind smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you tell him.
“You too, sweetheart,” he replies. “Thank you for coming up to see us.”
There wasn’t an interrogation from anyone, there was no awkward silence. No feeling like you had to earn your place, there was just…kindness.
⊰══════════════════════⊱
The first hour was the most difficult. Not because people were making you feel uncomfortable but because being around your boyfriend’s entire family for the first time all at once was overwhelming.
So you stayed close to Fraser, not glued to his side like you’d like to be, but close enough that if your eyes found his across the room, he’d smile back.
His hand brushed your lower back whenever you hesitated entering another room, every small touch seemed to say, You’re okay.
So throughout the day, little by little...You relaxed.
His grandmother asked about school and your studies, his grandfather wanted to hear about Boston. His cousins wanted all your recommendations for cafés in Boston if they ever came to visit.
Conversation became easier throughout the day, you loosened up as the hours passed, laughter came naturally, and you stopped rehearsing every sentence before you spoke.
⊰══════════════════════⊱
By dinner, you’d found yourself helping his mom carry dishes into the dining room to set the table without even thinking about it.
“Oh, you don't have to—” she starts when she saw you following behind her, hands full of plates and silverware.
“It’s okay,” you say. “I’d like to help.”
Dinner was a dream, a chaotic one but in the best way. People talking over each other as stories bounced around the table. Arms overlapping as everyone reaches for more food from dishes spread out across the table.
At one point someone says something that makes everyone laugh so hard drinks nearly go toppling over. You find yourself laughing, too. Not politely, but genuinely laughing. The kind of laughter that makes your shoulders shake. Fraser notices immediately, and he realizes that he hasn’t seen you look nervous for nearly two hours.
Instead you look happy, and comfortable, like you were a piece that fit perfectly into his family.
After dinner, everyone drifts towards the backyard. The summer air being cool enough to be comfortable, and after everyone has settled you find yourself sitting beside his grandmother while she asks you about your English degree.
“Fraser tells me you’re studying English,” his grandmother says, turning toward you with an interested smile. You nod. “Yeah. I’m really enjoying it.”
“What do you like about it?”
You have to think for a moment, because people don’t usually ask that, they usually just say “okay” and move on. You look out toward the yard before answering. “I think I like that there’s never really one right way to read something. You can read the same book ten times and find something different every time.”
She smiles. “So you like stories.”
“I do.” You laugh softly. “Probably more than I should. I tend to get a little too attached to them most of the time.”
“And what do you want to do with the degree?”
“That’s the part I’m still figuring out.” You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Maybe publishing…or editing. I’ve always liked the idea of helping someone else’s story become the best version of itself.”
She nods thoughtfully. “That sounds like you.”
You glance at her, slightly surprised since she hasn’t known you for that long. “Does it?”
“I think so.” Her smile turns gentle. “You listen before you speak, people who do that usually understand stories very well.”
You smile, a little shyly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should, it’s meant to be one.”
Across the yard, Fraser catches your eye when you look up at him, you both smile automatically.
His grandmother notices, and the knowing smile she gives you makes your cheeks warm.
⊰══════════════════════⊱
Later, while everyone else wanders outside, you go back in the house to help dry the last few dishes. His mom rinsed another plate before handing it to you.
“You really don’t have to help, sweetheart,” she insists.
“I don’t mind, I’d like to help,” you reply.
The kitchen settled into companionable silence. Water running in the sink, the soft clink of dishes being put away.
Then his mom speaks up again, “You know…”
You look over.
“I’ve wondered for a long time who Fraser would bring home.”
Your stomach immediately tightens with nerves. “Oh?” you ask, a nervous tilt in your voice
She smiles, “He’s always taken care of everyone else, always worried about other people more than himself.”
You nod. You’d noticed that about him long before you’d started dating. When you went out with all your friends he was always the one checking in, on you and on everyone else.
“It was always just…who he is,” his mom says as she dries another plate. “It’s been nice seeing someone take care of him too, you two care for each other a lot.”
You swallow, “I try. We try.”
“I know,” she says, smiling gently at you. “Everytime he calls home he talks about you, from everything he’s told us it feels like we already knew you when you got here.”
You look down at the dish towel in your hands, trying not to grin at everything she’s just told you.
“I love him,” you say, almost shyly. The words come out so quiet his mom almost doesn’t hear you.
His mom reached over, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “I know.” Nothing more, nothing less, like she could tell how simple it is for the both of you.
⊰══════════════════════⊱
While you were inside, Fraser was standing outside with his dad when he glanced back through the kitchen window to see you standing in front of the sink, talking and smiling with his mom. Laughing softly about something he couldn't hear.
His dad followed his gaze. “She’s lovely.”
Fraser smiles. “I know.”
“You seem happy,” his dad says.
Fraser looks back towards the window, and without missing a beat answers, “I am.”
The truth was that he’s more than happy. He’s relieved, and overjoyed that you’re getting along with his family so well. The people he’s loved his entire life were loving you too, and somehow it felt even better than he had imagined it would.
⊰══════════════════════⊱
That night, after the house was quiet and everyone had gone to bed, Fraser quietly pushed open the bedroom door he’d slept in for most of his childhood.
It hadn’t changed much. The walls were still that deep blue he insisted on having when he was seven, the bookshelf tucked into the corner was still overflowing and dusty, his old hockey medals hung from a hook near his closet door. Photos from all different stages of his life lined the dresser against the wall opposite the bed.
You stood in the doorway for a second, taking it all in. “So this is it,” you say simply.
He laughs lightly, “This is it.”
You wander over to a shelf, smiling at a framed photo of a much younger Fraser smiling ear to ear in oversized hockey gear.
“You were so tiny,” you say, not taking your eyes off the photo. “And adorable.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he says, teasing you.
“I do!” you argue.
He rolls his eyes affectionately. “It’s one baby picture.”
“That’s more than enough,” you say.
He laughs, shaking his head. “You coming to bed?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
A few minutes later, you were both tucked beneath the comforter. You’ve changed into one of his old T-shirts he dug out of a dresser drawer, the fabric impossibly soft from years of washing.
The room was quiet, the only sound being the faint sound of crickets and noise of the water drifting up from the lake through the open window.
You rolled onto your side to look at him. “I can’t believe I spent weeks worrying,” you say softly.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, for absolutely nothing.”
He smiles, “I know.”
You groaned, hiding your face in the pillow. “You were right,” you say.
You feel him shift closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and laughing lightly into your hair. “I usually am,” he says.
You lift your head up to look at him, “Oh don’t start.”
He laughs softly before reaching over to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m really proud of you, baby.”
Your eyebrows pulled together, confused by the praise. “What for?” you ask.
“You were scared, really scared and you still came.” He reaches down to hold one of your hands in his.
“Because you asked me to,” you say, as if it was obvious.
“No,” he shakes his head. “You came because you trusted me.”
Your chest tightened. “I do…and I wanted to meet everyone.”
He leans over, pressing a slow kiss against your forehead. “I loved seeing you here today, having you here, it’s really special.”
“You did?”
“Mhm, you fit.”
You blinked. “What do you mean?” you ask.
“My family, you fit with everyone. You get along with everyone, they love you being here, too.”
The words settled warmly in your chest. You thought back to dinner; to laughing with his grandparents and helping his mom in the kitchen. Then to sitting on the deck while everyone talked over each other but every bit of it made sense. It had stopped feeling like Fraser’s family somewhere along the way and slowly became just feeling like family.
“I really like them,” you say. “I understand where you get your kindness from.”
He grins and starts placing soft kisses all over your face, making you laugh slightly.
“They really like you too,” Fraser mumbles against the skin of your temple.
“I was hoping they would,” you reply softly.
“They were asking when you’d come back,” he says.
“Already?” you ask, your eyes snapping open wide.
He chuckles, “Already.”
You scoot closer without thinking—if that’s even possible—slipping one arm around his middle until your cheek rested against his chest, hooking one of your legs over one of his.
His arms came around you even tighter now, the two of you holding each other.
“You know,” you murmur sleepily, “This house makes a lot more sense now.”
"You know," you murmured sleepily, "I think this house makes a lot more sense now."
“Yeah? How so?”
You listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat for a moment before answering. “I’ve always known who you are, that’s not hard to figure out. But being here, it helps me understand why. It’s like if comfort was a place and it was filled with the kindest people the place could find.”
His fingers traced slow circles along your back, and you feel him smile against your skin. “I’m glad. It is a pretty special place, special people.”
“Yeah…” you say, clearly dozing off.
Outside, the Vancouver night settles quietly around the old house.
Inside, wrapped in the comfort of the room that had shaped the boy you’d fallen in love with, your last bit of nervousness finally melts away. And as Fraser holds you a little closer before drifting off to sleep, he can’t help but think that bringing you home had somehow made it feel even more like home than it already had.
requests are open 💕 How I'm looking at writing requests now is just whatever inspires me, whereas previously I was trying to do them in the order they were submitted. Now I'm going solely off of vibes :)
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daisy i can’t even begin to describe to you how accurate your scorpio horoscope was today 🙃 you people are gonna give me peace and quiet get over it!!!!
listen 😭 scorpio said the boundary is no longer up for discussion. i’m so glad it hit, bb, and i hope those people get the message and leave you in PEACE 😂🩷
me when i tell these people to stop talking about xyz and leave me alone cuz you’re not playing in my face in my house and i’ll tell them daisy said i could 😭🤣
