*distant yee-hawing*

girls I'm sorry as much as I talk about being a pervert I mostly just want someone to hold me tightly and make me feel safe and never let go

*gestures for you to take my hand* and that's what makes you the biggest pervert of all

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

to be completely honest *starts lying

Poorly photoshopped images are infinitely better than ai generated images

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

"Listen for Christ's sake we're a modern paper. Parker - Parker get in here - this is Madeline Parker, came out three months ago. Best photographer we've got. We're proud to have her on board. We at the Daily Bugle are proud to support the LGBTQ+ community bUT THIS SPIDER-GIRL IS A MENACE"

Overwhelming consensus on this post is that you should come out in your superhero identity first, and then a couple weeks down the line come out in your secret identity and when people ask just go “Oh seeing Spider-Girl come out really gave me the confidence to come out myself” which is the best possible answer

i forgot a crucial part of pet ownership: bothering that animal a little

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement