8-Bit Elixir / Game Over / 12mg 

WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA! 

SNAKE? SNAKE...? SNAAAAAKE? 

FINISH HIM! 

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL DEAD. 

In other words GAME OVER! 

Which it is. It's time to stop making liquids. Honestly. Have you stopped yet? I'm not fucking around here! I know where you bloody live! 

Sorry. I went a bit Jack Bauer there. 

Don't stop (believin). We're all too familiar with the hilariously insulting ways that some games decide to throw it in your face when you fall off a cliff or stand too close to a turtle. But the guys at 8-Bit have taken it a little too far in my opinion. 

They've made a delicious juice that frustrates me to the point of smashing an X Box controller off the wall. 

Why did it have to be this good? There are other juices I still need to try. So much more to say, so much more to give. I'm still young damnit! It's too soon. 

It tastes like Strawberry Jawbreakers by the way, and the flavour not only hits like a beautiful brick wall on the in, but it lingers around the lips and basically begs to be licked. 

If it wasn't toxic I'd drink it. 

I'm off to buy a digital engagement ring. I dare say Sonic has a few spare. 

Deep Blue / The Abyss / 12mg 

The Abyss. 

Directed by James Cameron, brother of David Cameron. 

Probably. 

Great film, great juice, great clouds, great Cameron. 

Deep Blue have a pretty sweet niche when it comes to naming their product, and it seems they've taken full advantage of their apparent exclusivity to all things big and oceany. The Abyss screams colossal, vast and infinite. So I was damn surprised when it tasted exactly like Pink Hubabuba. 

Remember those little packs of bubblegum that lasted about 3 minutes? 

Those. 

"Do as I command or be cast into the void... of... uh... sweets and stuff." 

Personally, that's a punishment I'd be willing to take, hands down. 

They tell you things like "Every cloud has a silver lining." Well if that's the case, this one deserves a layer made entirely of pink stretchy gum, filled with dank fog. 

"I want to go to there." 

Deep Blue know exactly what they're about, and they know how to make a memorable juice. As soon as this bottle runs out, it’s getting replaced.

Deep Blue / Poseidon / 12mg 

Mighty Poseidon! God of the Sea! Son of Cronus! Brother of Hera, Zeus and Hades! Name of delicious melony vape! Father of Theseus! 

Deep Blue have nailed it, and in doing so created a literal pantheon of E Juice. There is no other way to describe it. Colossal names for enormous flavours. 

I've always been massively intrigued by the Olympians, likewise the forerunning Titans, and the idea of worshipping a house of polytheistic, pseudo physical Gods. Beings that actually had a hand in the goings on of the known world. Egyptians, Vikings, Romans etc. Even their name's are awesome. Apollo Creed was named after an Olympian and look at how bad ass he was. 

Granted, that fat kid from The Nutty Professor did not deserve the name Hercules. But you can't win all the time. 

This juice is incredible. It's as smooth as a baby's arse, and probably tastes a heap better. There's hints of Kiwi on the exhale, but those lung hits are all Melon. The fog is thick, cool, and utterly enveloping. I can barely see the TV. 

I'm going to end this rabble on a relatively musical note, by introducing you to one of Ireland's finest defunct bands. 

Get ready for a truly religious experience. 

Down I Go - Poseidon

8-Bit Elixir / Health / 12mg 

Since the moment I laid eyes on this brand, I've been positively dying to review it. So with that shameful pun in place, I've chosen to fill up on some Health. 

I've always been a huge fan of RPG gaming. From cards to console, dice to literature. From high fantasy sandbox adventures like the Elder Scrolls series to tabletop dice games like Pathfinder and White Wolf. 

Whether you're just waiting around in Halo, buying medicine in Assassin's Creed or casting spells in Final Fantasy, health is key. 8-Bit know that shit, and they've branded this juice to perfection. It appeals to me on a different level than anything else I've ever seen in the vaping industry. 

Those of you who understand what it feels like to check your watch 10 minutes into a side quest, and realise 4 hours have past, will get where I'm coming from.  

It just makes me a wee bit giddy. 

We're not sick, it's not an addiction and this isn't a phase! 

If you've ever cued for drinks without any idea what you're buying the girl you're with, you've all likely purchased some form of Strawberry & Lime cider. Alternatively, you might just like the taste yourself! Personally I'm a "cheap-lukewarm-house-wet" kinda guy. 

In any case (and I am fully aware of just how absurd this sounds), 8B have produced a 2D version of this flavour. No lingering hint of Lime or initial shock of Strawberry. It's all there, all at once. All brash and cartoony in your face. It's fucking awesome. 

It's what a health potion should taste like. 

Maybe I'm just projecting my own goofiness onto this project, but surely that's the whole point. 

I'm closer to Wigglejavelin than Shakespeare. 

Rocka Mystic / Skidizzles / 12mg 

When I was 17, I spent some time with my friends family in a magical place called Guernsey. A remote spot of land between England and France that housed a seriously unnerving volume of Nazi memorabilia, and a man called Tracey. 

Now, aside from that, there are two things I will always remember about that incredible little island. 

Firstly. Everyone and their granny was in a rock band, and I mean everyone. Secondly. They loathed with great abundance, the inhabitants of an adjacent island called Jersey. I should mention that Jersey was, and probably still is, similarly overpopulated by musicians. 

As the Irish like to put it, “We don’t like them because they’re near." 

Which makes perfect sense, when you think about it. I’m across the road from everyone in the pub and I hate them. Why can’t I be in the pub? 

In any case. During a mini-intercontinental battle of the bands, we were brought to a bar called Baloo’s. Like the bear from Jungle Book. And seriously, this bar could take any kind of candy imaginable and turn it into a vodka. It was magnificent. 

If you’ve never had Skittles vodka, try some. If you have had Skittles vodka, try Skidizzles. I haven’t been able to stop hitting this juice since it went in the tank. Honest to Dog. I lost my setup down the crack of this sofa and I automatically shit the fucking bed. I think I felt a genuine lump in my throat. 

Every tug (lol) is like a handful of Skittles in my mouth. And I mean every Skittle. How the hell did they do that? 

"I really want some Skittles now.” - The Other Half. 

RM, you have managed to pull it out of the proverbial bag with this liquid, and I managed to pull it out of the actual couch. Along with several forgotten dog treats and 20p. 

Money. In. The. Bank.

Villain Vapors / Double Down / 18mg 

I'm back in the old west with another dose of Villain Vapors, baby! 

I'm pretty new to this whole thing. Putting my opinions across with a subconscious expectation for people to actually believe me. With that in mind, it always fills me with a sense of grief when I post a slightly less than great review on someone's product. 

With that in mind, I've decided to share some old cowboy wisdom that might apply to these situations. 

"Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probly a whole lot bigger'n you think." - Miscellaneous Cowpuncher. 

Well damn. 

I'm suckin on my 3rd VV juice this week and it's as gnarly as the last. Anyone remember those XTREME SOUR APPLE Chewits? Double Down is like a laid back version of that shit, with a grape for desert. If you're feeling particularly "5-A-Day-Healthy." Personally I believe a diet comprised entirely of Chewits could be nothing but beneficial to the human body. Particularly the human mouth. Particularly my human mouth.

The vapour production from this liquid is as good as I've come to expect from Villain, but I might make the conscious decision to order something around a 6mg or 12mg in future. That throat hit could be used as a precursor to your first "gifted" boyfriend. To ease you in, as it were. 

As a big fan of the Villain line, it's likely you'll be seeing a lot more reviews of their products from us. I'll leave you with another quote, this time from my partner here at Snookaloopy. 

"This is one of the best liquids I've ever tasted. Smell those dank ass Granny Smiths." 

A true poet. 

Keep it ghetto, cowfolks.

Rocka Mystic / Sweet Tarts / 12mg 

I need to start off by saying how much I love this juice line. That’s why it hurts so much to be honest about their Sweet Tarts liquid. I don’t love it. 

Forgive me!

Why does it taste like I’m drinking a bubble bath? Yes, a bubble bath. And don’t sit there saying “What is he talking about?” Because we’ve all done it. We’ve all had a little swish of lukewarm suds, if only to squirt it out like a water pistol at our toes. 

Thankfully the guys at RM have managed to sneak in subtle notes of something a little sweeter, to help detract from the initial shock of bath-time-bubbles at the back of my throat. A little reminiscent of the old refresher candies, or the multicoloured parma violets. It’s actually intriguing and subtle enough a flavour that I’ve been chaining this tank all night. Is this what you wanted? To fill me with dark inquisitorial desire, like some holy Spanish officer? Well, minus the severe judgement of course. 

I’m two flavours into the RM line at this stage, and the vapour production is notably better in comparison to some similar liquids I’ve had the pleasure of trying. So I’m pleased to end this review on a pseudo positive note. I’m just a little disappointed that the incredible smell from this particular bottle wasn’t replicated in my lungs! 

In any case, give this juice a blast if you get a chance. Light some candles, and put on some Enya. Because at the end of the day, who doesn’t love a good bubble bath?

Rocka Mystic / Tiger’s Blood / 12mg 

In the immortal words of Bruce Almighty, “It’s good, it’s good…IT’S GOOD!" 

Our Rocka Mystic shipment landed this morning and it took me a painful 3 minutes of internal coin flipping before I decided on what liquid to jump on. Decision made, and with no harm to the WWF, but if this is what Tiger’s Blood tasted like in the real world, I’d be the next Allan fucking Quatermain. I’d be best friends with Van Pelt. I’d be spreading the gospel of the late great Jim Corbett. 

In short, you could colour me khaki. 

This juice smelt incredible from the bottle, the lung hits are a pleasure entirely on their own level and the clouds are beautiful to behold. This is like someone threw a couple of Fireballs into a glass of Fanta Exotic.  

It comes in with a cinnamon rise on the sinus and a shortly lived fruity burn on the tongue. Too short, in fact. I’ve been at this review for 5 minutes and I’ve nearly emptied the damn tank. Never has the hashtag #juicethatleavesyouwantingmore rang so true than it does right here. 

I adore cinnamon, so to have it roll around my face in such a clever way, pleases me more than I can truly express. That isn’t to say that it’s overpowering, by any stretch. The blend is actually quite subtle and sweet, with enough emphasis on the fruit side to keep the doors open for those who aren’t necessarily massive fans of ‘The Brown Stick.' 

I ran out of juice about 2 sentences ago. So for no other reason than that, I think it’s time to wrap this up. 

Rocka Mystic have hit a home run with this liquid. Let’s hope the ball lands on a tigers head so I can harvest the rewards. 

 Too far?

Villain Vapors / Scoundrel / 18mg 

"You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life." 

Preach to me Harrison. 

This is my second helping from the VV line in less than 24 hours, mostly because our dog was acting like an absolute 'nerf herder' (too much Star Wars?) until all hours of the morning. When the going got tough I decided to take my battered and bitten hands to the testing table for a pick-me-up. 

All that aside, I'm now engrossed in this company. The old west is here to stay. Where's muh hat? Where's muh spittin' bucket? Where's muh spellcheck? 

I feel like the top madam at a frontier whorehouse, a corrupt deputy, or a weathered old gunslinger. It all rings true with this line. 

Before I start telling you about the specific Scoundrel flavour, I'm going to address Villain Vapors on a whole. Specifically with regards to their branding, which is awesome, and so very important in this market. Reminiscent of Red Dead Redemption, Firefly, The Dark Tower series and almost anything influenced by the good old west. 

This shit just called to me, in such a way that I chose a second helping from the same line, in the same night. That might not seem odd to you, but with the amount of juice I have delivered on a daily basis… it is for me. At this point I have to acknowledge my acquiescence to gunslinging popular culture. Call me childish, but I just think it's really fucking cool. 

PEW PEW! 

Scoundrel houses a mix of melon, kiwi and cantaloupe. The latter of which always sounded more to me like a beast of burden than a fruit... or maybe an objection to a young couple getting married. 

"You cantaloupe, you've got your exams to think about." 

In any case, the flavour is immense. Super smooth, with some great vapour production. From something with such a downright dirty style, these guys produce such a clean product. The throat hit from an mPT3 (modified open airflow) is exactly what I'm after for something at 18mg, and I would probably suggest a lower voltage battery setting if you do like your nicotine level up top.

I'm not a great fan of melon in the real world, but these lung hits are luscious. 

Stay villainous.

Villain Vapors / Billy the Kid / 18mg

If it's womanly to enjoy a piña-colada, then picture me nipped and tucked. 

"Fuck me, call me Rita if you want." 

Wise words from the Manics. 

Villain have just sent me the most incredible little sample pack, which included a saloon door style index of flavours and 3 glass bottles of their speciality line, Saloon Select. These guys are both very wild, and very western. Will Smith wouldn't stand a chance. 

Unexpectedly, my interest was peaked by this piña-colada and coconut juice, named for the youthful gunslinging bad boy, Billy the Kid. It smells amazing, and vapes just as good. 

Any liquid I receive at 18mg gets an initial test in the likes of a Kanger Mini Protank 3. As we all know too well, those high MG lung hits can be deadly. As it turns out though, VV have managed to produce a fairly smooth vape at this level. Their standard liquid comes at a set 50:50 ratio of VG:PG, so it's completely suitable for whatever hardware you've got your hands on. Even if you're just starting out with the likes of a CE4 or H2 tank, this'll burn just swell.  

The only negative point I'd like to mention is a slightly dry mouth on the exhale. But to be perfectly honest, that could be an issue entirely of my own invention.  If anyone remembers the Pear Pickin' Polly, or the white Slush Puppies, you'll really love this flavour. It's light, refreshing, and in short... exquisite. 

That's right. I used a womanly word because I'm a lady now. 

This juice is staying in the tank for a while.

Generals Juices / General Custard / 12mg 

 We've all heard of that renowned food based officer, Colonel Mustard, and his villainous actions with a candlestick holder. But let me introduce you to a modern-military-taste-sensation. 

 And no, I don't mean KFC. 

Officer on deck (grab your) privates! Stand to attention or, do a little dance? General Custard is here to tell us how it is. He's a hardcore vape veteran, and he deserves your respect. 

This juice is easily my top ADV from their line, and with the amount of custard flavours out there, I'm surprised this was able to stand out. I really thought I'd choose something a little fruity for that title, but there you have it. 

This liquid is great in a standard tank (H2, CE4, mPT3), but the flavour from the likes of a single coil RDA build will be almost doubled. That, combined with the fact that this juice can really kick clouds, is surely a marvellous thing. Some of the smoothest, almost none existent lung hits I've ever experienced. I'm still so uncertain as to why that is? I've been vaping the rest of the GJ line periodically and I've never noticed a great deal of change in anything but the flavour. 

From what I can gather online, this is the top selling juice from these guys, and with the experience I've had today it's easy to see why. This is like taking a bath in Ambrosia. 

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that an almost identical review will appear about an almost identical, just as awesome custard sauce. I'm fickle that way, and easily bought. But until that time, I'm putting all my eggs in this basket. 

Pretty much in the hopes that my eggs get used to make custard. 

Custard contains eggs, right?

Generals Juices / The B-Bomb / 12mg. 

 WOOOSH! KABOOOM! 

That (in a nutshell) is the best way I can describe the B-Bomb. Though for the less perceptive of you, I suppose I'll do my best to explain. 

I'll keep it short, nincompoops. 

KAMBOOOM is all about that in-your-face Blackcurrant smack, while WOOOSH is a surreptitious nod to that shivery hint of refreshing menthol. If anyone has had the dire pleasure of reading any other Snookaloopy reviews, you might be aware of my loathe for all things mint. It sickens me. I brush my teeth with that shit... and sometimes I swallow it accidentally. I can forgive a mojito, but not much else. 

This is like smoking a Lemsip... or one of those purple airwave chewing gums. I actually kinda didn't mind it.  

"You hypocrite... you turn cloak!"  

I know, I know. String me up if you actually care enough. 

The juice is great in small doses, but I would definitely suggest you keep this it well away from your RDA's, unless you want to blow yourself a brand new sinus. 

Vapour production is decent, if a little cool, and the strength of blackcurrant is immense. All cards on the table, I suppose this has ended up being one of the very few mint infused liquids that I actually enjoyed, which says a lot. GJ might have been a little sneaky with that kick in the face, but it's hard to be too angry at these guys.

Generals Juices / Lieutenant Limey / 12mg 

After a little time off from active duty, indulging the sweeter side of my palate, I'm back in the zest-barracks you maggots. It smells good to be home. 

"This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun." 

Here we have the second flavour to tantalise my taste buds, bestowed by the mighty General, and he's been sharpening his bayonets with limestone. Lieutenant Limey is a straight zest explosion. No hints of this, or undertones of that. It's lime. Effortless, clean, easy as pie. Lime pie, to be exact. 

I'm certainly not one to deny myself a sweet vape from time to time, but for other tank users out there, I'd like to give them the heads up in saying that this liquid burns great. My tongue backflips at the idea of citrus, so the more harsh hitting and mouth watering the better. 

The throat hit from this juice is as good as I've come to expect from GJ, and the vapour production is great. It isn't off the scales for the VG ratio, but if you're just starting out with something like an H2, or even a CE4 tank, you'll still be able to burn this liquid. Taste wise, you can already guess what's coming, though the one thing I will comment on is a slight coolness which seems to linger on the exhale. I'm not a massive fan of menthol, as you might know, but in this case it's admissible. 

It's called Lieutenant Limey, and it tastes like lime. I think it's delicious, and if you don't believe me, you should investigate it for yourself. 

Rear Admiral Loopy. 

Over and out.

Craft / Angry Apple / 3mg 

I'll be with you in a minute. Just as soon as I finish reading about what this big guy does to these naughty, naughty kids. 

"What the Dickens?" 

Well, this festive flavour has got me in the mood for mulled cider and cinnamon buns. It's pretty shocking how well this juice has been put together, to be honest. And that isn't necessarily a good thing. 

The vapour is deliciously sweet when it's pulled right into the mouth, but the inhale is fucking ghostly! It's like sniffing a Wrigley's Extra. Did they think we wouldn't notice the sickening dose of menthol that appears seemingly from nowhere? I was so excited to get this liquid burning, but every drag since that initial minty jolt, has done nothing but reinforced my disappointment. It just isn't what I expected. It isn't what I want! 

To put it simply. Rather than providing a complimentary flavour to an existing season, ie: Christmas. Craft have gone ahead and tried to bottle the whole damn thing. They've also decided that we actually don't know what cold winter air feels like. 

Have you ever been to the north coast of Ireland? I'll can't show you cold, but I can show you baltic. 

All in all that mulled cider taste is what really drew me to this juice, and I can't say a bad word about that. It's been done well. If the folk at Craft ever manage to accidentally stumble onto this blog, I hope they take onboard what I've said. Not only because I am a beautiful wordsmith, but because I am right. 

What do we want? 

MULLED CIDER WITH A HINT OF CINNAMON. 

When do we want it? 

AS SOON AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION YOUR ONGOING PROJECTS AND WORKLOAD. 

PS: NO MENTHOL. 

I'll be keeping an eye out for other liquids of a similar flavour. But at the end of the day, if I want that chilly feeling of smoking outside... I'll walk out the fucking door.

Craft / Crème Anglaise / 3mg 

I'll start off by telling you what I had for breakfast. Toffee cheesecake, and a large sugary coffee. 

1. "Why the hell did you have pudding for breakfast?" 

2. "Why should we care?"

Well, it's all relevant, I promise. After having set my tank to prime overnight with this juice, the first drag was nothing short of a sweet awakening. I found the auto pilot had already engaged as I rose like some great somnambulist, sleepily set to preparing a complimentary meal. 

What can else can I say about this juice that doesn't border on the supernatural? That is, the spooky ability to force people into an unhealthy start to the day. 

Well, for one it's absolutely exquisite. Both the taste, and smell. Craft have put together quite a believable concoction here. That's not to insinuate that they've attempted to pull the wool over our eyes by claiming this product is anything other than it is, but instead that each subtle note of sugar, vanilla, and custard is complimented not only by the flavour on a whole, but by just how long they each choose to linger, respectively. Despite an authentically smooth blend of ingredients, I could still easily allocate each essence to a particular area of my face. 

The Crème Anglaise Facial… as it were.

Nothing sticks around as long as the sugar. It's like its managed to cake itself to the back of my nasal cavity. I'm not complaining, but a natural sweet tooth is bad enough, and I don't need additional encouragement. Onto the vanilla and custard. Take note of the word 'and'. While in reality this dish is described as a vanilla custard, the case is not quite the same here in vape land, as both flavours have scopes entirely to themselves. T

The vanilla arrives almost instantly on the inhale, and hangs around the back of your nose, paving the way for that sugar to set up camp. Custard on the other hand is all on the tongue. Coated in joi de vivre. 

This liquid already goes great with coffee and pudding. No doubt a veritable smorgasbord of other native foodstuffs, smells and attitudes could line up to join the "Crème Anglaise Comrades." Perhaps something along the lines of cuisants, cheese and being a dick. 

Excuse my French.

Generals Juices / Fusilier Fruitbowl / 12mg 

 Generals Juices and juices in general.  

Every independent company I've had the pleasure of receiving samples from so far have sent along some sort of index to provide helpful descriptions of their products. "Here we have Blah Blah, which tastes like, Blah."  

While the benefits of a menu can't be disputed, the thrill of tasty discovery is what drew me to this line of liquids today. In short, I have no idea what these are supposed to taste like. Not without further investigation online anyway. For now I'm left to decipher what exactly Fusilier Fruitbowl is.  

"A fucking bowl of fruit," I hear you say.  

Well, you aren't wrong. It really does taste like a bowl of fruit. But what stands out to me the most right now is Pineapple. Like, really sweet pineapple. Not the sickening kind of pineapple that some of us have become accustomed to, but something else entirely. 

Have I said pineapple yet? 

GJ have blended this flavour in such a way that each exhale leaves behind a familiar creamy warmth. Like the sort of chunk you'd pick off a fresh pizza to let melt in your mouth. 

This is 70:30 on the VG:PG scale, and the throat hit on this vapor is extremely smooth. There's a definite note of Apple and Banana, maybe a little Kiwi or Grape, but I can't put my finger on it. The delicious thick fog which follows any exhalation, is completely smothered in that sweet, sweet… you guessed it, pineapple. It's like someone melted a Polly Pineapple and shoved some nicotine in there. 

I've been vaping this juice for about 8 hours now, and the separate flavours have really started to find their way into the mix. Banana, more so than others. Remember that familiar creaminess I mentioned earlier? The one that came along with the pineapple? It was a banana. Sneaky son-of-a-bitch banana slithering his way into the background of my taste sensation. Get out here and show yourself, phallus fruit! 

I could probably vape this shit all day long, to be perfectly honest.

Element / Fresh Squeeze / 3mg 

The two of us at Snookaloopy have never claimed to have any sort of expertise in regards to what we're doing here. Nor do we intend to. All in all we're just two extremely attractive people, who've started to dip their toes in the deep end of the communal vaping pool. 

With that in mind, I chose to carefully tiptoe my way into the Element playground by filling up a tank of Fresh Squeeze, off the bat. It was the closest thing in flavour to the previous juice I had reviewed, and I wanted to consciously observe the contrasts. Straight up, the difference is immediately noticeable. The flavour is full, the vapor is smooth and the clouds are quite frankly, Cumulonimbus. As we're all fully aware, there are some very fancy bottles out there. Fancy labels. Fancy names. Descriptions that promise hints of this, subtle tones of that, and an overall sense of whatever. Element have gone ahead and hit the nail on the head with what's printed on this bottle. Every pull tastes like a gulp of freshly squeezed orange juice. Thick with pulp and littered with those bits of white, stringy, floaty things. 

Whether you're a fan of the real thing or just your average cordial, we can all agree that orange flavoured shit has long been a household favourite. It's the standard, regular, typical, stock, run-of-the-mill. It's fucking orange juice. But it's orange juice, done really well. I'm likely to end up covering points on the product itself that should well be spread out between the next 3 Element flavours I have yet to get my teeth into. So for the minute, I'll leave it at that.  

I give you full permission to judge this book by its modest cover. 

PS: It's cover is orange.