you can't run from heaven

Hello tumblr I'm back to cry I'm having a really bad mental health time Alongside some OCD ticks coming back Which is greAt It's taking me around 7 attempts to leave the house on average these days Did I turn my heater off Did I really though I know I can still feel the pressure of the knob in my fingers but better check again Better just unplug it Better check it's definitely unplugged Ok I need to just say it out loud this time I'm just in a climate of mass anxiety and feeling like half a step behind me is Becoming Unhinged I had a massive foot in mouth moment at work and although I was obviously mortified and apologised and another work friend I told about it laughed, I'm like yup, I'm definitely getting fired for that, time to figure out how to live on the dole I had a kind of argument with a good friend about the dynamics of our relationship and I feel awful because apparently I'm a frosty bitch without realising because growing up not socially wanted has made me the opposite of gregarious and to be honest Socially oblivious and now I make other people not feel wanted apparently And Im having a massive bad pain day which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't like the 30th one in a row My forearms have red marks all up and down from trying to rub the burning out and the one thing I want to do to take my mind off it is play video games but that will make it worse I feel sick because I have to go to work tomorrow and pretend I'm not a corporate liability Because of my stupid non thinking mouth and I'm not a frosty bitch shitty friend and that I don't want dig my ulnar nerves out with a stapler remover

I've been away from the tg scene and Tumblr for a while but I saw a spoiler (you know the one) that made me catch up a years worth of chapters and I am shook and it wasn't just from the spoiler Does anyone want to start a club to ignore the events of the last 20 or so chapters