Sleep No More Awakening

The next time I visit, I will be just about 20 weeks pregnant. Given that I was already showing at 13 weeks(curses already extended muscles from first child, and being large anyway) I’m going to be a whale.

I really want to spend time with Lady McDuff, just because… But damn can that woman book it up the stairs (much too fast in my opinion)

(Can I just say I’ve been sitting here staring at my screen writing and re-writing sentences, thinking about how I’m going to write this recap/highlight thing and all I see between me and the stuff I want to say is the list that kept appearing on my dashboard about what not to say/do as fans of SNM? I found it scary and slightly intimidating.

My (continued love for boybands in my 30s) and recent love for SNM has made me realise that there aren’t many safe spaces for fans (of anything other than popular sports) to be themselves and express themselves how they choose. This seems to be especially true for girls – if we love something, we’re always “hysterical” or “obsessed”. Men, on the other hand, are mostly “loyal” and “dedicated”. So I was pretty happy to have discovered Tumblr, where there seemed to be a space for everything and everyone. 

So if a guideline needs to exist, may I suggest it be condensed to something like what we sometimes say where I come from, “Kalau hidup tu, jangan nak susahkan hidup orang,” which roughly means, “While you’re still alive, don’t make life difficult for other people.” Discouraging certain behaviours may be productive to an extent, but I’m not sure about the good it can do – people can conform, but still be assholes at the end of the day, and what’s the point in that.)

One of the issues is that cast members are not famous. They are not used to, and do not expect, fan behavior that you might see at a boy band concert from a group of adolescent girls.

This has nothing to do with gender - that long lost was written by a woman. Quite frankly, some of the creepiest behavior in/out of the show due to romantic/sexual interest in cast members has been done by men.

As for the last paragraph, if people are naturally assholes, I don’t care. If I don’t like them I won’t spend time with them. However, an asshole person in the show ruins things for everyone. So there’s a very big difference there. If someone’s behavior during the show is really unacceptable, I will make sure a steward knows about it, and if they write it online, I will be commenting.

I’m going to highlight some things that aren’t ok. Recaps are fine but it tends to be the extra commentary that people add which poses problems.

1. Saying somebody smells nice is fucking weird. End of story. What does this have to do with their performance? Nothing. Write about it to your friend in a private message, not on tumblr where the cast member might read it.

2. Continuously writing about the same cast member without reference to their performances shows you have a crush. We’ve all had crushes on cast members, but write about it in a diary.

3. PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE HOTEL READ TUMBLR. This is one of the major issues here. It’s fairly easy for a cast member to figure out who’s writing what. Even if they’ve never met you, they connect you with “that person.” And yes, they keep track of people with a record of bad behavior.

4. I know people have their favorites and want to see them, but the fact of the matter is that casting schedules are not released publicly. Some people think it’s okay to post conversations they overhear or were a part of that concerns someone being on at a certain show, and they write “heard that so and so is on”. I know this isn’t what people want to hear, but no one has a right to any of this information. Sorry not sorry. Many cast members don’t want a ton of fans at their last show for instance, or might only prefer to see the few fans they actually know. They often have family and friends there as well.

5. As has been said before, cast aren’t allowed to change things. I don’t care his much you like it or want to talk about it, they get in trouble for doing it. And that matters more than someone wanting to talk about it online.

Not talking about an actor who changes something up, wasn’t something I ever thought about, but now that I’m aware of it, makes sense. Out of curiosity, are you aware of a cast member who has been reprimanded for changing their routine, because someone read it on Tumblr?

(Can I just say I’ve been sitting here staring at my screen writing and re-writing sentences, thinking about how I’m going to write this recap/highlight thing and all I see between me and the stuff I want to say is the list that kept appearing on my dashboard about what not to say/do as fans of SNM? I found it scary and slightly intimidating.

My (continued love for boybands in my 30s) and recent love for SNM has made me realise that there aren’t many safe spaces for fans (of anything other than popular sports) to be themselves and express themselves how they choose. This seems to be especially true for girls – if we love something, we’re always “hysterical” or “obsessed”. Men, on the other hand, are mostly “loyal” and “dedicated”. So I was pretty happy to have discovered Tumblr, where there seemed to be a space for everything and everyone. 

So if a guideline needs to exist, may I suggest it be condensed to something like what we sometimes say where I come from, “Kalau hidup tu, jangan nak susahkan hidup orang,” which roughly means, “While you’re still alive, don’t make life difficult for other people.” Discouraging certain behaviours may be productive to an extent, but I’m not sure about the good it can do – people can conform, but still be assholes at the end of the day, and what’s the point in that.)

One of the issues is that cast members are not famous. They are not used to, and do not expect, fan behavior that you might see at a boy band concert from a group of adolescent girls.

This has nothing to do with gender - that long lost was written by a woman. Quite frankly, some of the creepiest behavior in/out of the show due to romantic/sexual interest in cast members has been done by men.

As for the last paragraph, if people are naturally assholes, I don’t care. If I don’t like them I won’t spend time with them. However, an asshole person in the show ruins things for everyone. So there’s a very big difference there. If someone’s behavior during the show is really unacceptable, I will make sure a steward knows about it, and if they write it online, I will be commenting.

I’m going to highlight some things that aren’t ok. Recaps are fine but it tends to be the extra commentary that people add which poses problems.

1. Saying somebody smells nice is fucking weird. End of story. What does this have to do with their performance? Nothing. Write about it to your friend in a private message, not on tumblr where the cast member might read it.

2. Continuously writing about the same cast member without reference to their performances shows you have a crush. We’ve all had crushes on cast members, but write about it in a diary.

3. PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE HOTEL READ TUMBLR. This is one of the major issues here. It’s fairly easy for a cast member to figure out who’s writing what. Even if they’ve never met you, they connect you with “that person.” And yes, they keep track of people with a record of bad behavior.

4. I know people have their favorites and want to see them, but the fact of the matter is that casting schedules are not released publicly. Some people think it’s okay to post conversations they overhear or were a part of that concerns someone being on at a certain show, and they write “heard that so and so is on”. I know this isn’t what people want to hear, but no one has a right to any of this information. Sorry not sorry. Many cast members don’t want a ton of fans at their last show for instance, or might only prefer to see the few fans they actually know. They often have family and friends there as well.

5. As has been said before, cast aren’t allowed to change things. I don’t care his much you like it or want to talk about it, they get in trouble for doing it. And that matters more than someone wanting to talk about it online.

Not talking about an actor who changes something up, wasn’t something I ever thought about, but now that I’m aware of it, makes sense. Out of curiosity, are you aware of a cast member who has been reprimanded for changing their routine, because someone read it on Tumblr?

(Can I just say I’ve been sitting here staring at my screen writing and re-writing sentences, thinking about how I’m going to write this recap/highlight thing and all I see between me and the stuff I want to say is the list that kept appearing on my dashboard about what not to say/do as fans of SNM? I found it scary and slightly intimidating.

My (continued love for boybands in my 30s) and recent love for SNM has made me realise that there aren’t many safe spaces for fans (of anything other than popular sports) to be themselves and express themselves how they choose. This seems to be especially true for girls – if we love something, we’re always “hysterical” or “obsessed”. Men, on the other hand, are mostly “loyal” and “dedicated”. So I was pretty happy to have discovered Tumblr, where there seemed to be a space for everything and everyone. 

So if a guideline needs to exist, may I suggest it be condensed to something like what we sometimes say where I come from, “Kalau hidup tu, jangan nak susahkan hidup orang,” which roughly means, “While you’re still alive, don’t make life difficult for other people.” Discouraging certain behaviours may be productive to an extent, but I’m not sure about the good it can do – people can conform, but still be assholes at the end of the day, and what’s the point in that.)

One of the issues is that cast members are not famous. They are not used to, and do not expect, fan behavior that you might see at a boy band concert from a group of adolescent girls.

This has nothing to do with gender - that long lost was written by a woman. Quite frankly, some of the creepiest behavior in/out of the show due to romantic/sexual interest in cast members has been done by men.

As for the last paragraph, if people are naturally assholes, I don’t care. If I don’t like them I won’t spend time with them. However, an asshole person in the show ruins things for everyone. So there’s a very big difference there. If someone’s behavior during the show is really unacceptable, I will make sure a steward knows about it, and if they write it online, I will be commenting.

I’m going to highlight some things that aren’t ok. Recaps are fine but it tends to be the extra commentary that people add which poses problems.

1. Saying somebody smells nice is fucking weird. End of story. What does this have to do with their performance? Nothing. Write about it to your friend in a private message, not on tumblr where the cast member might read it.

2. Continuously writing about the same cast member without reference to their performances shows you have a crush. We’ve all had crushes on cast members, but write about it in a diary.

3. PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE HOTEL READ TUMBLR. This is one of the major issues here. It’s fairly easy for a cast member to figure out who’s writing what. Even if they’ve never met you, they connect you with “that person.” And yes, they keep track of people with a record of bad behavior.

4. I know people have their favorites and want to see them, but the fact of the matter is that casting schedules are not released publicly. Some people think it’s okay to post conversations they overhear or were a part of that concerns someone being on at a certain show, and they write “heard that so and so is on”. I know this isn’t what people want to hear, but no one has a right to any of this information. Sorry not sorry. Many cast members don’t want a ton of fans at their last show for instance, or might only prefer to see the few fans they actually know. They often have family and friends there as well.

5. As has been said before, cast aren’t allowed to change things. I don’t care his much you like it or want to talk about it, they get in trouble for doing it. And that matters more than someone wanting to talk about it online.

Not talking about an actor who changes something up, wasn't something I ever thought about, but now that I'm aware of it, makes sense. Out of curiosity, are you aware of a cast member who has been reprimanded for changing their routine, because someone read it on Tumblr?

On a night like tonight, most people would be contempt with being nuzzled into their couch watching a movie. And as the rain clobbered me walking out of Penn Station, I too was yearning for the endearment of my cozy couch.  But, I’m looking for something, I don’t know what it is. Some sort of meaning? A striking symbolism? Maybe I’m looking for art and performance to tell me about myself or possibly the world around me. Maybe that’s why in the last three weeks, I’ve made three trips to the McKittrick Hotel.

This night is yearning to dampen my spirits both literally and figuratively. Rain drops steadily pound the pavement as I battle to save my umbrella from the swirling winds. Unfortunately, I’m not able to seek solace and enjoy the warmth of The Lodge as it is closed for a party, so in vain I look for a place to hang my hat until The Heath opens. As I walk from bar to bar, they are all packed to the brim with those seeking refuge from the relentless rain. In defeat, soaked to the bone, I settle to wait by the door, and then my luck transforms, the Heath opens a little early.

The Heath, is foreign to me. This is my first time straying into this section of The McKittrick. The Bar is empty, so I grab a seat, order a bourbon neat, and strike up a conversation with the bartender, a conversation that alters my perception of the McKittrick Hotel entirely.

Simply, are the Inhabitants of the McKittrick Hotel trapped in a temporal loop? A sort of Groundhog’s Day, but with Macbeth instead of Bill Murray? And are they aware of their tragedy?

But the minutes are fleeting, and It’s time for me to take my business to the Manderley Bar. I negotiate my way through the transition from soggy wet streets the the Manderley Bar, shedding the burdens I carried with me, all my problems are behind me, and I’m joyfully greeted by Maximilian as I emerge from the darkness.  

Like most of my previous trips, devising a plan would be done in vain. It’s my eighth visit, my first being one year prior. Sure, I’ve become accustomed to a great deal, but the majority of what occurs inside these walls still seems foreign and unexpected. I haven’t gotten a grasp on who the actors are,except for a few, and I still mistake certain characters. So why fight the powers of the McKittrick, instead I embrace it, letting it guide me, much like a Ouija Board.

My card is called, I don my mask, the elevator doors clank open, and my journey begins. I can hear the rules, but my mind just hopes that the other guests are truly listening. The Elevator comes to a halt, and I’m the first off and onto the fifth floor, the sixth floor is not in my cards tonight. Walking off the elevator is jolting, and I fight the urge to burst through the set like an animal freed from their cage.  Instead I take a deep breath and walk around for a bit and head down to the candy shop to grab a mint or two.

The Town of Gallow Green is deserted, not a soul strolling down the street. Suddenly, “BOOM” a door slams behind me, and I’m no longer alone in this small town. Who is this person? He carries a certain bravado, and has emerged from the Funeral Parlor, which I don’t know much about. Unsure of who my new companion is, I join him, and I soon identify him.

J Fulton was nothing short of a mystery before we united tonight. I follow hastily, as we make our way around the sleepy town of Gallow Green. J Fulton carries a confidence, which seems to be sustained by his unwavering faith in God.  That is however, until the supernatural is present, and I can sense his vulnerability.  I soon grow to respect Fulton. He is the bravest soul trapped in the McKittrick Hotel, the only one fighting not for himself, but for the protection of all those who stroll through the town, including me. And that protection was made clean as he secured the windows and doors to the Funeral Parlor so that no one else could enter, it was just him and I. It’s only fair to the Fulton that I keep what happens behind these doors between the two of us. And then as quickly as our journey started, it ends, and I’m left on the wrong side of a locked door, my new friend deserting me.

From that same door emerges The Speakeasy Bartender, an individual I learned from my experience with Fulton, I did not trust. Nonetheless, I follow him. The Barman strutts around with a sense of cockyness, but it is clear that underneath this arrogance he is not in control, it must be Hecate who pulls his strings.  And it doesn’t take much time to realize, maybe someone is pulling my strings as well. Maybe the Barman and I aren’t that different, and we share a shot.

The sweet taste of whiskey drives me back down to the Manderley Bar, and I am once again greeted by Maximilian and to my surprise Annabella as well.

Truley great performances don’t intentionally deliver a message, but let the audience see the message that they long for. Great performances speak to you, and you can hear what you need to hear, and see what you need to see. Much like the Tarot Cards that Annabella are tuning in front of me. Tarot cards can’t see my future, but Annabella knows what I need to hear. The message that needs to be delivered, I’m subtly and unconsciously revealing to her. She turns the last card, my future card and whispers, “All of your dreams will come true.” This is not a message that I can take lightly. She continues, “What this means is, all the things you are working on, will come to fruition. So keep doing what you are doing.” I’m stunned, and I’m sure visibly so. Annabella hugs me, and I take the last sip of my cocktail, put my mask back on, and head back into the darkness. 

I can’t shake my premonition, It is completely occupying my mind as I stumble through the shadows. I need a moment to just sit, and take this all in. The perch that hangs over the Ballroom is a perfect place to find solace. I make my way to the ballroom and grab a seat.

As always the performance and show were great during my 7th visit to the McKittrick. Normally I’d write about my 1-on-1 with The Nurse, or my time with the Speakeasy Bartender, or my super bad ass tarot card reading, or just how I watched the story unfold. I discover more, and I see more detail in the characters every time I visit. This is why I keep coming back, the uncovering of each character’s personal story. But, I’m not going to talk about that; instead I have to talk about something that overshadowed the entire night, another terrible audience.

The folks in the audience who talk, or whip out their phone, or just do stupid shit, probably don’t read tumblr, so I don’t need to call them out. But there were three people that I encountered on Wednesday night, and they might possibly read this, and I hope they do.

First, my bearded suited friend who I had the misfortune of meeting in Hecate’s room while the bald witch was cleaning up after the rave. The Bald witch locked eyes with me, and then pointed to her shoes. As I went to reach for them, this burly dude practically fell across the room trying to grab the shoes. 

I’ma step up on my soapbox now.

If you are new to Sleep No More, like I am, stop spending all your time researching the 1-on-1’s and secretes to the McKittrick. The idea is to experience, not create some sort of mental checklist to accomplish all the things you read on someone’s blog. Go into the Hotel, screw up, hand shit to the wrong characters, get lost, and then talk about it and learn. Don’t Google all the 1-on-1’s and then go try to accomplish them. When it becomes some competition, you turn into an asshole that lunges across a room and you stink of desperation for 1-on-1’s.  Remember, if you are an asshole at the McKittrick Hotel, you’re still an asshole in real life.  And my suited bearded friend, if you are a veteran to sleep no more… please punch yourself in the face.

Back off my soapbox and on to the second douche of the night, the bearded suited dude’s friend. I will call him the name dropper. I had the misfortune of meeting him at the Manderley Bar where he was trying to get information from the actors in the bar and telling them “My Friend Works at the McKittrick, and told me you could tell me about xyz.” Happy they told him to go into the show and figure it out… nice try, and you sound like a tool bag.  Refer to my statement above.

And finally, the Blonde chick trailing Lady McDuff during the final loop. When the characters have to move you 2 dozen times because you are too close, well, you’re too damn close, back the fuck up. When 20 people are watching a scene and you’re the only moron standing 1 foot away from two actors dancing around a room, you’re an idiot. Pushing people in an effort to trail a character is also not cool. Honestly, life will go on if you lose a character and you don’t get that 1-on-1. You are not being BOLD, you are being an fucktard. 

To sum up, fuck you guys, and all the shitty people who are so damn important that the rules don’t apply to you. I hope you all get terrible hangnails that hurt like a motherfucker, and they get infected, but not so infected that something really bad happens, but enough that for day you think your fingers are going to be amputated, but they aren’t and everything ends up fine, but if forces you to re-examine your life, and you realize you’re a terrible person.