No Mother, I Can Blow Myself

Oh yeah an update I had my baby and he's almost 9 months old now

I'm just so sad and I feel so ugly and unwanted. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I feel fat and ugly and it doesn't help that my partner and I haven't had sex in 3 months. It literally makes me feel like he's not attracted me to anymore and it just hurts me to my core. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to run away from my own body and my life. I want to disappear and just be someone else for a day. I'm tired and constantly in pain and always feeling like I'm just this ugly fat cow. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing how much my face and my body has changed. I just want a hug and for him to cuddle be and to kiss me with some sort of passion. I want to be touched like he used to touch me, I want to feel wanted and sexy, but it never happens. I don't want to push any sexual situations on my partner, especially if he doesn't feel comfortable, but I'm at my wit's edge. I need some sort of passion in my life again and I need it fast. I confronted him about us never having sex and how it makes me feel and instead of trying to even start anything with her he just wallowed in self pity and went to bed. I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY AND SAD. I keep feeling like this baby is messing with my relationship with my partner right now and it makes me feel like the worst mother in the world especially because I wanted this baby so badly. I can't have sex for 6-8 weeks after postpartum as well, so if we don't have sex before the baby it be a whole 6 months since we've last had sex. What kind of relationship is that? It doesn't seem healthy to me. I'm feeling like my relationship is crumbling between my fingers and I don't know what to do about it.