rocky mate bad as hell, statement !!!!

the entire museum would totally put together a halloween event. it starts off sort of like a haunted house where people pay and go inside in groups. and all the exhibits really lean into the whole we come alive at night thing.

they go through each section getting scared all leading up to Ahks section in the museum, they make him the main event after all it’d be a crime not to make the pharaoh- The king as the big finish, they have him in his mummy wraps and he pops out of his sarcophagus to scare the group that enters back into the main hall.

leading to the real finale where all the exhibits come together and perform a dance to Thriller.

Except.

The day security guard or the curator or somebody goes to unlock the Smithsonian in the morning, and freezes because the ENTIRE stained glass window is destroyed, and when/how the HELL did that happen??? And there’s an absolute mountain of random historical artifacts stacked beneath an armchair (unless somehow the exhibits helped clean up but let’s be real there’s a big mess throughout all the museums.) One of the art pieces is facing a wall, another is just - completely different??? Like????? Where’d the water go??????? Also who let the giant octopus-squid-thing out of its box, why are there so many damaged crates in the archives, and for the love of GOD why are there spears and shit stabbed into said crates? And can someone tell me why our wax figure of Kahmunrah has mysteriously disappeared???

And then the British Museum - dear lord. I mean provided there’s NOT a magic sub-spell in the tablet that lets the exhibits just KNOW where they’re supposed to be at the end of the night, I don’t even know how anyone could explain that the multiheaded demon snake statue has completely changed its shape overnight, or why “Pompeii is kinda destroyed now, oops, volcano erupted, we found the miniatures all grouped together in the next hall over, not sure how to fix that.” At least the British Museum has Tilly, right? I don’t even WANT to know how they tried to explain what happened in DC.

And meanwhile, Cecil and the gang are watching the news from their recliners, and Cecil just stares at the tv at some news story about the Smithsonian being a wreck, and sightings of an octopus in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, and a plane flying overhead, and Lincoln’s statue walking around - because he just knows this has the tablet written all over it, and he’s just–

“What the hell did you do Larry?”

When Teddy's bored, he'll jump off the roof of the Museum. Nobody knows he does this; he thinks it's hilarious

Teddy also does TikTok dances on the roof for his secret TikTok account

The mammoth and ostrich are bffs and cause more trouble than Dexter

Larry has a very strict no killing rule. This came as a great disappointment to the whole Museum. Attila, Ahk, the Romans, the cowboys, the Mayans, Teddy (he likes to hunt the animals), the Vikings, the lions, the Civil War dudes, Rexy, the Neanderthals, etc. Basically, everybody and their mother in this museum likes killing. They collectively decided to keep doing it but keep it a secret from Larry

Sacajawea is a unit of measurement for the miniatures, both of distance and of volume. They commonly say, "It's one Sacajawea away" or "It was so loud, even Sacajawea could hear it." Nobody else understands what this means

At one point, the mayor in the Wild West was murdered by an evil robot who took his place. When the townspeople found out months later, they killed the robot. This is unknown to the rest of the Museum

There is a miniature of Mark Antony and he is convinced that Ahkmenrah is Cleopatra. He'll follow Ahk around professing his love and writing him teeny tiny love letters. Ahk has no clue who he is and is quite frankly running out of patience with him

The Romans like to clog the drains of the sinks in the bathrooms and turn them into bathhouses

Teddy is banned from playing/hosting couple games or competitions because he gets way too competitive and makes everyone else feel bad about their relationships

Sacajawea once "borrowed" Luis' gun and shot Clark because he was getting on her nerves (Fifty-four years is a long time to be trapped with two idiots having the same argument every night. She deserves to crash out)

Ahkmenrah isn't allowed to eat anything because he doesn't have a stomach. Despite this, he still gets hungry and begs Larry to let him eat. Larry refuses even though it breaks his heart because he doesn't want his body to rot from the inside out. Ahk still sneaks food from the breakroom tho; if the curators did a CT scan of him rn, they would find fruit, coffee, and Craft mac and cheese

Nobody knows about the security cameras except Larry; he uses this as his secret weapon

Sacajawea runs a secret miniature black market. She orders things off of Amazon and sells it to them for change they find on the floor. She has become a quite skilled engineer and welds them little phones for a dollar

Ahk likes to raid the lost and found and use the clothes to sneak out; he is only seventeen after all. He's gone to Shake Shack, different clubs, and one of Nicky's parties at Larry's house. He's not very good at navigating the subway though and has Nicky call him Ubers

Rexy will "bark" if there's someone at the door. Most of the time it's just Larry but if another exhibit sneaks out, he'll "bark" if they try to use the front door

Octavius and Ahkmenrah have kissed exactly once

When Teddy's bored, he'll jump off the roof of the Museum. Nobody knows he does this; he thinks it's hilarious

Teddy also does TikTok dances on the roof for his secret TikTok account

The mammoth and ostrich are bffs and cause more trouble than Dexter

Larry has a very strict no killing rule. This came as a great disappointment to the whole Museum. Attila, Ahk, the Romans, the cowboys, the Mayans, Teddy (he likes to hunt the animals), the Vikings, the lions, the Civil War dudes, Rexy, the Neanderthals, etc. Basically, everybody and their mother in this museum likes killing. They collectively decided to keep doing it but keep it a secret from Larry

Sacajawea is a unit of measurement for the miniatures, both of distance and of volume. They commonly say, "It's one Sacajawea away" or "It was so loud, even Sacajawea could hear it." Nobody else understands what this means

At one point, the mayor in the Wild West was murdered by an evil robot who took his place. When the townspeople found out months later, they killed the robot. This is unknown to the rest of the Museum

There is a miniature of Mark Antony and he is convinced that Ahkmenrah is Cleopatra. He'll follow Ahk around professing his love and writing him teeny tiny love letters. Ahk has no clue who he is and is quite frankly running out of patience with him

The Romans like to clog the drains of the sinks in the bathrooms and turn them into bathhouses

Teddy is banned from playing/hosting couple games or competitions because he gets way too competitive and makes everyone else feel bad about their relationships

Sacajawea once "borrowed" Luis' gun and shot Clark because he was getting on her nerves (Fifty-four years is a long time to be trapped with two idiots having the same argument every night. She deserves to crash out)

Ahkmenrah isn't allowed to eat anything because he doesn't have a stomach. Despite this, he still gets hungry and begs Larry to let him eat. Larry refuses even though it breaks his heart because he doesn't want his body to rot from the inside out. Ahk still sneaks food from the breakroom tho; if the curators did a CT scan of him rn, they would find fruit, coffee, and Craft mac and cheese

Nobody knows about the security cameras except Larry; he uses this as his secret weapon

Sacajawea runs a secret miniature black market. She orders things off of Amazon and sells it to them for change they find on the floor. She has become a quite skilled engineer and welds them little phones for a dollar

Ahk likes to raid the lost and found and use the clothes to sneak out; he is only seventeen after all. He's gone to Shake Shack, different clubs, and one of Nicky's parties at Larry's house. He's not very good at navigating the subway though and has Nicky call him Ubers

Rexy will "bark" if there's someone at the door. Most of the time it's just Larry but if another exhibit sneaks out, he'll "bark" if they try to use the front door

Octavius and Ahkmenrah have kissed exactly once

Always the happiest of pride to them!!

Hermit cafe