"What can my magic assist you with?"

I’ll randomly generate a number between 1-29 for one of the following:

A funny text

A sad text

A scared text

A late night text

An excited text

A taunting text

An angry text

A frustrated text

A concerned text

A loving text

A confession via text

An accidental text

A wrong number text

A text that wasn’t sent

A text for help

A helpful text

A comforting text

A drunk text

A bad idea text

A rude text

A long text

A one word text

A text asking for advice

A final text

A flirty text

A hyper text

A weird text

A sarcastic text

Flaws. We all have them. Even our muses. In fact, they often make for better, more engaging characters. Send a symbol to learn about one of my muse’s weaknesses!

🙊what would my muse say their biggest flaw is

⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

🤳name three physical imperfections my muse has (birthmarks, gray hairs, muscular definition, etc)

🙈what’s my muse’s biggest blind spot?

🍰what’s my muse’s guilty pleasure?

😰when my muse is stressed, how do they act out?

💚what does my muse get envious over?

🚫what is one thing my muse wouldn’t want someone else to know about them?

🛌my muse’s biggest nightmare

✍️does my muse have a learning disability?

🎒what was my muse’s worst subject in school?

🙅‍♂️what does my muse feel insecure about?

👾what was my muse’s childhood bogeyman?

“ we’re gonna see a thousands ghosts tonight. ”

“ maybe there was something else going on with him. ”

“ i feel like maybe he ate some moldy bread or something. ”

“ that’s what happened to those people in france. ”

“ you gotta be fond of wind. ”

“ you gotta love squeaky shoes. ”

“ down to the vaults we go. ”

“ it’s definitely something. ”

“ we have different ideas of things that are definitely something. ”

“ not even a little bit of concern on his face. ”

“ you’re an idiot. ”

“ i did get spiderwebs in my hair. ”

“ you look ridiculous with that cobweb in your hair. ”

“ you just tasted history. ”

“ i can’t see the top of my head. ”

“ no one can see the top of your head except god. ”

“ the fancy boy stairs. ”

“ we’re fancy boys. ”

“ a couple of american schmucks. ”

“ we’re both dipshits. ” 

“ i’m one of the stupidest people to ever walk the earth and i made it up your staircase. ”

“ and he’s even dumber than me. ”

“ yes, i’m dumber than him. ”

“ you son of a bitch. ”

“ it’s a weird one. ”

“ i’m jim on the office and i believe in ghosts. ”

“ that’s a — that’s what heads are. ”

“ we call ourselves hole butts. ”

“ all hail the obelisk. ”

“ this sounds like a nightmare. ”

“ a hundred years before now two royal jackasses sat in this spot, and uh carelessly talked about history. ”

“ you look like you have the biggest i have ever seen. ”

“ this is like a thimble on an apple. ”

“ who chopped a nun’s head off? ”

“ it’s just never a good sign when you give yourself a nickname. ”

“ they really knew how to make spooky doors back then. ”

“ so you’ve resorted to orbs now? ”

“ enjoy that juicy orb. ”

“ i’m gonna enjoy this juicy orb. ”

“ you’ve got orbs in your brain! ”

“ if you’re in here matthew you can go fuck yourself. ”

“ you’ll be happy to know that the boys are gone. ”

“ colchester castle has been conquered by the ghouligans. ”

“ that’s us. we’re the ghouligans. ”

“ i’m into that. ”

“ you’re off the team. ”

because i felt like making one of these, fuck you.

LEARN SOMETHING ⛈ - what is the muse like at their worst? 📖 - deadly sin that applies to them the most? 🍁 - favorite season? 🏹 - have they ever committed a murder? 💝 - have they ever been in love, and with who? ⚠️ - the worst deed they’ve done/crime they’ve committed? ⛔ - do they believe in revenge? 💫 - do they believe in fate/propecy/destiny? 🥀 - have they ever felt heartbreak? 🌵 - do they consider themselves dangerous? 🍀 - do they believe in luck? 🌙 - do they believe in magic? ☄️ - what is their biggest regret? 🍷  - do they drink? 🍹 - alcohol tolerance? 🍳  - do they know how to cook? ☀  - night or day?

DO SOMETHING 🙈 - muse is blind for [#] asks. 🙉 - muse can’t hear for [#] asks. 🙊 - muse can’t speak for [#] asks. 💥 - muse feels agonizing pain when they raise their voice for [#] asks. 🐔 - muse is uncontrollably afraid/paranoid for [#] asks. ⚡ - muse has unstable emotions for [#] asks. 🍺 - muse acts like they are when they’re drunk for [#] asks. 🍬 - muse is hyper as fuck for [#] asks. 🎭 - muse can only speak in cryptic phrases for [#] asks. 🎬 - any noise becomes deafening to the muse for [#] asks. 🌋 - the muse is unable to control their anger for [#] asks. 🔦  - muse becomes light-sensitive for [#] asks. 👁‍🗨 - muse feels like they’re being watched for [#] asks. gets worse as it continues. 🚫 - the muse hallucinates their worst fear for [#] asks. gets worse as it continues. ♾️ - the muse is in constant pain for [#] asks. gets worse at it goes along. (bonus if the pain is an old wound/scar.) ⛅ - the muse hides their emotions for [#] asks. emotions come spilling through when m!a ends. ✨ - muse is in a state of hypnosis for [#] asks. go wild.

“It’s not false advertisement if you’ve learned how to fucking read.” 

“The next time I catch you trashing this aisle I am going to throw you down the garbage compactor and listen to you scream while it crushes you.” 

“Ma’am, I don’t have the emotional capacity to care right now.” 

“This coupon expired two years ago I can’t give it to you!” 

“This isn’t a pawn shop we don’t fucking bargain on damage percentages.”

“The trash can is Right. Fucking. There.”

If you’re going to be standing IN the cart trying to surf it because you think it’s cool, I hope your mom thinks a neck brace and a medical bill is as hilarious as I do.” 

“Just run me over and put me out of my misery.” 

“If you had read any of the fifty-four signs that you passed in the aisle on the way to ask me if they’re on sale, then you would know the damn answer.”

“We have a fucking FLOOR SCRUBBER, why are we MOPPING??” 

“Oh my god there’s shit all over the floor.” 

“Oh come on I just CLEANED in there!” 

“And there it was- a fucking dirty diaper.” 

“I’m going to have to clean up this fucking disaster of a bathroom without gloves, aren’t I?” 

“We’re going to erect a shrine to the leaky roof gods and pray that if the roof does fall in that it lands on us and kills us instantly.” 

“You’re new, right? Well never go into the back room alone. The stairs are haunted and the ghost has a terrible sense of humor.” 

“I hope you last longer than the last one.” 

“Who put their half-assed coffee behind the fucking pillows instead of, I don’t know, finding a trash can?!” 

“I handled that customer the only way I can handle my parents- astral-project the fuck outta here.” 

“I’m going to physically manifest in this person’s house and beat them senseless.” 

“How hard is it to flush a toilet?!” 

“That furniture you’re getting dirty footprints all over costs more than your life does, I know- I asked your parents.” 

“Oh my god no one put a fucking bag in this trash can.” 

“Ewww it’s leaking.” 

“I’m going to pick up this cart and beat you with it.” 

“Your kid is like three, STOP LEAVING THEM UNATTENDED!” 

“I know your parents don’t love you so you act out, but I don’t love you either and I am heartless enough to call security on your asses.” 

“I take out my anger on using this rubber mallet to beat the shelves back into place, and if your hand is in the way then it’s a bonus.” 

“Oh, trusting me with sharp objects again, I see.” 

“HOW.” 

“I hate my job.”

“I have lost all faith in people knowing how to read.” 

“Of course the head manager can take a week vacation but GOD FORBID anyone else taking it off at the same time!” 

“Can we just banish holiday sales?” 

“This job only made me learn how to hate people.” 

“If I got to fold yet ANOTHER shirt because some ASSHOLE just dumped it on the floor, I am going to STRANGLE them with it.” 

“I. Fucking. Hate. Glitter.” 

“If anyone ever tipped me for carrying their stuff out to their car, I’m going to pocket that shit, fuck what my manager says.” 

“I immediately start dissociating as soon as I pull into the parking lot.”