ESPINA, pippa
â  I think you HIT ME WITH YOUR FUCKING CAR!  â
â A little! On accident! A bump at most, I mean, câmon, how hurt can you be if youâre yelling at me like this?! â
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ESPINA, pippa
â  I think you HIT ME WITH YOUR FUCKING CAR!  â
â A little! On accident! A bump at most, I mean, câmon, how hurt can you be if youâre yelling at me like this?! â

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ROSILIO, ava
â  Target Casper, for one. He seems like heâd be more open to the idea of online dating than Kris. Maybe â  have someone message him. A fake profile, run by us. And we curate it to his interests. Someone interested in aliens.  â
â You really think thatâs going to work? What if he thinks itâs like, a scam? Or a secret agent trying to get his information because he knows too much about Area 51? Or an undercover alien... though that might intrigue him just enough to keep messaging. I donât know, it feels kind of fucked up. But you know what else is fucked up? Him and Kris rubbing their relationship in everyoneâs faces all the time. â
ESPINA, pippa
â  Am I attractive to you?  â
â Why is that important? â
ROSILIO, ava
â  âŚÂ  what if we catfished them?  â
â Thatâs bullshit. ... How exactly would we do it? â
anoeticsâ:
â  A girl like me? What? HOT? Trust me. You could find a hot girl.  â  She gestures across the bar.  â  See the blonde girl? Blue top? She was two years ahead of me in school. Dated this guy in the school band even though she was like, popular. Well, popular enough, if you know what I mean â  â  Quickly and unsubtly, Pippa made a blowjob gesture.  â  Bet you could go up and get her to blow on your piccolo, if you catch my drift. Go on, tell me. You go up to her, what would you say?   â
â Well, thatâs the issue. I wouldnât go up to her. Sheâs not attractive to me. And she comes into the library once a week to rent the worst romance novels we have in the system. Surrender to the Highlander checked out three times in the past two years? Please. That book is nothing but bad Scottish lingo and sex puns that wouldnât make a teenager hard. â He doesnât expand on why he knows the content and plot of the book. Irrelevant. â Thatâs the issue with the whole anonymous sex thing. I donât want to fuck a stranger but by the time Iâve gotten to know somebody thereâs nothing there. I donât need my piccolo blown if itâs being played by a moron. â

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ROSILIO, ava
â  You lost because you suck. Not because of ME. But we can still at least succeed at like, making sure they stop being annoying. Because it is. Annoying.  â  Ava thinks for a second.  â  I donât know. We need to make sure itâs not going to tear apart the friend group. We just need to make them realize theyâre  âŚÂ  right for other people.  â
â Yeah, but like... who? The only people they hang out with are us. Casperâs social circle is me, you, Kris, and the little green men who live on the moon.  â
KINNEY, sienna ( @anoeticsâ )
â You know that guy you have a picture of posted in the back with the caption âdo not let in the storeâ? He came by today. â
ROSILIO, ava
â  We have more important things to focus on than arcade games, Sammy. We have a serious issue at hand. We need to finally put a stop to the terrorist attack on our friend group that is Kris and Casper and their stupid freaking dumb stupid idiot relationship.  â
â I know theyâre our best friends and all, but Iâm literally going to rip my fucking eyes out if I have to see them sharing a chair during movie night again. Itâs one chair. Made for one person. Shit, you made me lose my game again, Ava. â Sammy throws his hands up, awash with annoyance from both losing and the topic at hand. â So what, we break them up? Personally Iâm a fan of just flinging myself in front of a bus instead. â
KINNEY, sawyer
   â  hm. female superiority.  â  she jests, revelling in the ease for a moment, leaning into their embrace as she does.  â  i know. and iâm going to tell him. i promise. i just need a little more time, if thatâs okay.  ââ
the old bucket wouldâve pushed back, argued a little more and dug himself a bigger grave. new, improved, mature bucket â thatâs him â just allows himself to enjoy the quiet touches for what they are. so sawyer wants to keep them a secret a little longer. fine. itâs not like itâs forever, right? â y'know, if you werenât my favorite girl in the world, iâd be a lot less of a pushover. alright. yeah. take as much time as you want. i trust you. â
MULLIN, casper @cotiereâ
â Please donât tell me this is a walk of shame. â

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ROSILIO, ava
â  I definitely didnât tell you to jerk a bunch of dicks!   â
â You have got to stop trying to gaslight me. Youâre like, really bad at it. And stop talking about dicks, Iâm trying to focus. â
ESPINA, pippa
â  You let teenagers, harass you? Dude, thatâs why youâre still a virgin. Itâs a CONFIDENCE thing. You have to carry yourself like you know you could fuck anyone in this bar, and youâre not getting bullied by AP chem students in between the stacks. I bet we could find you someone to sleep with TONIGHT. I mean, Iâd fuck you, and because I wanted to, not even out of pity. But then you donât get any practice charming someone.  â
She looks around the bar, head tilted in concentration as she studies the men and women in it. Itâs more levity than sheâs used to on a Saturday night out and about: not exactly good clean fun  â  but sheâs having a better time with this guy than she would be doing her usual. Read: pretending to be interested in conversation for disappointing sex and maybe some free drugs.Â
â Ava is most definitely not an AP chem student, okay, letâs put that on the record. Her insults are elementary at best and donât bother me at all. â A normally uncontrollable need to speak has been tamed tonight; everything the girl says makes Jaerdâs tongue catch before rolling out whatever passing thought occurs. Confidence? Seeking out a casual arrangement for the evening? A genuine offer to fuck? â You think I â youâd â well. â Jaerd throws back the rest of his drink to stop his useless stuttering and immediately signals the bartender for another. This entire situation is so distantly out of his wheelhouse, but... heâs not exactly running to catch up with his buddies. In fact, heâd already almost forgotten about them completely.Â
â I have absolutely no confidence in myself or even you finding success in this plan. However, Iâve also had four drinks, so I canât talk myself out of it logistically. I suppose if a girl like you would fuck a guy named Jaerd, itâs probable other people might. â
KINNEY, sawyer
   â  i am. and iâm really happy.â  stating the obvious, sawyer chips away at the space between them.  â  you canât blame me for wanting you all to myself.  ââ
â how come you win every single argument we have? this feels rigged. â bucket slips a surrendering arm around the curve of sawyerâs waist to close what little distance remains between them. thereâs still an aching feeling under everything, but he does what he always does and shoves it down further. for now, he presses a ghost of a kiss against her temple. â youâve already got me all to yourself. â
KINNEY, sawyer
   â  i donât want that. any of it. okay? but i donât want this, eitherâus, fighting, because of other people. and thatâs all it will be. the second that lou finds out, things will stop being good. and they have been. theyâve been really good. i donât want to ruin what we have right now.  â  hands settle beneath his jawline, her touch light but determined.  â  i want to be with you.  ââ
Sawyer always manages to end up on the winning side of the argument, usually because Bucket gives up. Kind of hard to keep an angry heart when Sawyer looks at him like that. Or exists in general. He melts a little in the tender hold of her palms, though he avoids meeting her eyes. â I just want you to be proud to be my girl. â
KINNEY, sawyer
   â  right. i cheated. with you. and you want me to tell him weâre back together? iâm sorry but i donât know how to do that.ââ
â So what? You want to keep me a secret forever? Then what? He finds out youâve been lying to him and now youâve hurt both of us. Look, Iâm sorry for saying that shit about cheating with him. You donât deserve that. Itâs... Iâve never been good at being quiet about loving you, Saw. I donât want to keep that a secret, and I wonât. Iâm not gonnaâ go tell Lou shit or whatever but... Maybe we should just... step back. Until youâre not scared to be with me, or tell people or fuckinâ whatever. You know? Iâll spend my whole life trying to make you happy, but Iâm not gonna change who I am to do it. â

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PHILLIPS, emma.
Emma quickly backtracks, worrying sheâd offended him.  â  No! No, you donât need to do anything. Your hair looks great. Just, you know, on the topic of coconut. It can be for that. I do it. It doesnât really  âŚÂ  stay gross, though? You let it sit for a while and then you wash it out. Itâs good for you!  â  Brows furrow, and though she disagrees with his take on coconut cake  âŚÂ  â  Coconut liquor, huh? You donât strike me as a big Bahama Mama kind of guy. Maybe something more literary. Youâre not gonna see them talk about a Cosmo in the Hobbit, yeah? Like  âŚÂ  mead, or something.  â  Emma wasnât sure entirely what mead was, but it felt right in the moment.
â Oh. Well as long as itâs not staying in my hair all day turning hard and tacky and gross, I suppose Iâll try it. â Jaerdâs eyes narrow, though not cruelly. â You think that just because I read a lot of books and could be technically categorized as a nerd that I canât enjoy a Mai Tai? A Tom Collins? Iâve tried mead, actually, to no avail. Itâs disgusting. Itâs like stale, bittersweet wine and if you drink too much the hangover headache starts the same night instead of waiting until the next morning. Maybe if the hobbits all drank Sex on the Beaches they wouldnât have had such a turmoil-filled journey. Mead does sound like a fantasy drink, though -- whoever named it had their head in the right place. âÂ
ESPINA, pippa
â  Did I say it was bad? Uncommon and offputting doesnât mean bad.  â  She studies him as if sheâs studying a painting, and analytic mind dancing in harmony with a more objective one.  â  Youâre good-looking. You think itâs a personality thing?  â  For once, a statement thatâs undeniably mean doesnât come from a place of malice. Rather, thereâs only an edge of bite on the fringes of the genuine curiosity.  â  Do you want to not be a virgin?  â
Jaerdâs eyes flit over the strangerâs face as they seek any sort of indicator of her joking. Her tone, however, is mostly observational. Sheâs doing what often gets Jaerd in trouble with others â simply stating a fact. She thinks heâs attractive, to some degree. â Itâs likely a mix of both. My personality isnât always particularly inviting. Abrasive, some might say. Or annoying. Thereâs a teenage girl who harasses me daily at the library so Iâm sure if you asked her she could give you some favorable insults to use against me. â Jaerd shrugs. He canât remember the last time someone asked him so many questions about his own lack of sexual experience outside of being endlessly teased. His cheeks have started to feel hot - both from the alcohol and from the attractive stranger grilling him.Â
â Itâs... on the eventual to-do list, yes. â