I just CANT shut up baby!!!!!!! I’m absolutely FULL of STUPID and simply MUST share it with the world!!!!!!!!!!!!

bastard’s degree

bastard of sciences

my ‘third eye’ is just my pussy and.. shes open

That’s pink eye babe

now that ive had my identity stolen i feel like a Real Adult

did i forget to mention it was my boss from claires and sallys that did this. the police called her and she played dumb for a minute before confessing. so at least i dont have to fight it lol

“Got my identity stolen at Claire’s” is something you’d expect from a shitpost and yet

"yeah... it would be nice..."

My uncle said in prison the guards tuck you in at night and the warden kisses you

is this true?

Yeah on the lips

im typing this from my ps4

why are you on tumblr stupid bitch idiot play parappa remastered

killed this fucking goofester

0 for 2, Herman

idiot

oh to be gay and unhinged 

in a lighthouse?

yeah in a lighthouse

Do you ever think about your mutuals (even the ones you don’t know) during the day like “the swedish taurus girl had an exam today, I hope it went well”