'mobsters' are part of a 'mob'. and so you'd think 'lobsters' would be part of a 'lob', but ohohohhohoho, life just isn't so simple

Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five

I love when scientists are like we successfully isolated this particle . That’s always such a serve

he's out of character TO YOU. i know him though.

Ough. Those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. Maybe the next one will be better.

we have to put you in the hourglass again im sorry we all had a meeting about it and we decided we hate you and you are going to be put in an hourglass

sorry i stole your credit card. no i promise i didn’t use it iwjust melted it down and drank the plastic I’m sorry

fave stardew valley moment of all time was when I was talking to evelyn and she was like “i love living by the ocean… as a child I used to collect seashells all day…” and then I handed her a shell and she said “it smells terrible :/“ and I lost a heart.

boy detective (derogatory)