lost soul:)

I hope your favorite blonde haired blue eyed character has a black person cast to portray them

I am God and in this next patch update I’m getting rid of periods. instead, vaginas will now make pearls that you can trade in for prizes

these cats are displaying remarkable theory of mind skills by not only registering that the humans can perceive them but actively trying to manipulate that perception! that requires one to be aware that other individuals have complicated interior thoughts of their own, to know that those thoughts are not always based on truth, and to quickly decide on the best possible “lie” for the situation. this is why I despise animal intelligence tasks based on obedience— some of the most clever moments stem from intelligent disobedience.

As a manager at a smaller movie theater chain, I was mildly surprised at all the emails asking us to get Iron Lung and even more pleasantly surprised that our bookers actually got it for us. It's been one of our highest-performing movies this week and the fans who have come to see it have all been so polite and have had great theater etiquette. Great job Markiplier and thank you to his fan base, I judge movies based on the people they bring in and y'all have set a standard for keeping the theater clean and being so kind to the staff.

i could never handle immortality not because of any existential reasons but because i know itd make my procrastination so much worse. catch me putting off tasks for decades. catch me putting off tasks for centuries. what do you mean that movie ive been meaning to get around to became lost media 40 years ago. what do you mean that landmark ive been meaning to visit has been eroded. oooh i got PLANY of time..............

its 2013 why cant i fuck music

youre so right brother

”with shapes.inc you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.

it would be so fucking embarrassing if we meet aliens and they are like wow you guys have the same technology as we did 300 gyroaays (unit of time) ago, that's awesome. and we are like wooo that's so cool and they are like yeah so what are your thoughts on electrons and glorons and we just like missed glorons and they are so important and easy to discover but we missed it and have eben fuccking around and they laigh at our shitty science built around the gaping wound that is the absence of glorons

"theyre giving he man pronouns" is one of the funniest things ive heard recently. i cant stop thinking about it. he man. the man with a pronoun in his name. he. theyre giving he man pronouns. incredible