Fuck you, pay me.

How do I make a very thinly veiled joke cry for help.

It talks. I swear to fuck it talks.

Totally forgot about it.

Oops, forgot this was a thing. Anyway, all’s well. Not that anyone cares about me or what I do. Just saying.

Sup man, you’re fine. I go by Bro. I’m not normally up this early but you know, sleep is a bitch.

And I return to my life of pretending I don’t feel attachment to anyone except Sir Creamsicle the Wise and Dave.

There’s a cop here I’m leaving.

Ayy, nice.

That’s not entirely wrong. You’re a lifesaver.

I don’t have hobbies what do I do.

Why yes Sharon, I am not, in fact, Dave’s father. Quite the shocker. Who am I? I do not exist, quit talking to me. Forget I was ever here.