kill them, they are very irritating

A-STAGE

[before disappear]

[Gerard]: Oh, dear me! I’ve had quite the jog around the stage, and I’m breathing very heavy! Colombus, how are you? It’s nice to see you. We would like you to please make some noise for the Draag National Auxiliary Band. And the most important of all, the man of the hour, His Grand Immortal Dictator. You have my sword! And we are The Fifty-Second Regiment of The Black Parade! And our motto: seek honour! Bring death! Seek honour! Bring death! Colombus! Can this city scream? Are you ready?

[before sharpest lives]

[Gerard]: Um, along with tonight’s festivities, uh, we’ve got some birthdays to announce. Uh, happy birthday to the following: Daniel Ferguson, Clementine Navareth (???), and, uh, little Jimmy Bowman, who’s turning nine years old. Uh, he loves cars, fire trucks, monster trucks, garbage trucks, and dinosaurs. Uh, your ice cream cake is waiting for you in the Buckaroo Pavillion, and it’s melting. Happy birthday.

[before wttbp]

[Gerard]: [laughs clownly] Ha. [clears throat] [shushes]

[before i don’t love you]

[Gerard]: Thank heavens that giant penis didn’t make it onstage. [hisses] [at lights] Kill it! [shushes] Yes! Yes! With your phones! With your telephones! Light this shit up! Beautiful! Holy shit!

[dagger interlude during mama]

[Gerard]: (posh english accent) Hello! How are you doing this evening, my dear people? It’s lovely to be here with you all tonight! We came all the way from Bermuda, we had a wonderful show there. Serving drinks and cocktails and the likes. (Jersey accent) You know what I’m sayin’?! We told a lotta jokes, and we broke a lotta hearts! But we’re here now. I have a friend. I know, it’s hard to believe, but I’ve got one. Wanna meet him? Do you wanna meet him? Do you wanna meet him? Do you wanna— (shushes) Well here he is. My bestest friend in the whole world. The Gentleman. (High Gentleman voice) Hi guys! (Normal voice) He looks like he doesn’t talk much, but he does. He talks all fucking day long. But when I first met him, he said, come close to me. Come close. I said, why? He said, he said…

[introducing sylvia]

[Gerard]: Sylvia! It’s you! Hi! How are you doing? Thanks for—thanks for coming out tonight, Sylvia! It’s nice to see you! Alright, uh, hey, uh, uh, she’s really needed, but we’re gonna count her in, it’s real easy. It’s real easy, though, okay? It goes, like, uh, I say, I say, one, two, and then one, two, three, four, it’s like that, you know? It’s easy to follow. Uh, what do you think, Sylvia? Do you think Colombus can do this? Okay. We’re gonna try it. Are you ready?

[mama outro]

[Gerard]: (Groaning) (loud groaning) A!

[before disenchanted)

[Gerard]: (In draagcent) I did not—I did not hear anything. I heard no mistakes. I heard only wonderfulness, you handsome man. It’s a beautiful thing, you know? It’s a beautiful thing. Towards the skull and spine of your enemy. Waving it like a flag!

[News anchor/Projection Guy]: Our time has come. The button pressed, and a simple act has meaning. A single word repeats across the stars, and then our hearts: greatness. Then comes the time when all must ask, what cost to hide? What loss so great, to scrawl our names in sand? Or chisel them in concrete? Goodnight, my friends. Goodnight to all.

B-STAGE

[before not okay]

[Gerard]: We’re My Chemical Romance from New Jersey!

[before nanana]

[Gerard]: Yeah! Yeah! (Singing nonsense) It holds a few more, the prime motif… [indistinct]

[Gerard]: You can say fuck this world, and still mean I love this world. How you doing, Columbus? Thank you for having us. It’s, like—it—it’s Thursday night, right? And you guys got three more days of this fuckin’ shit? This awesome fuckin’ shit? I was really, um, blown away by, like, all the other bands playing and the headliners, it’s a real honour for us to play with some of these bands. Fuckin’ amazing. Um, uh—little story, I’m gonna talk for a little bit, you know? Uh, Mikey Way, and Ray Toro and I went and saw Iron Maiden before My Chemical Romance started, and, um, the Jersey—what was it? It was a—it was a big shed—he’s gonna, he’s gonna tell me. Fancy, brick, big—big outdoor fucking thing, it was fucking amazing, Bruce had just, come back. Y—yea, I love Iron Maiden, we love Iron Maiden, you guys know everything. Alright, we got, like, some people we’d like to thank, first of all, our amazing auxiliary band, make some noise for Clarice Jensen, an amazing cellist/drum experimental artist that a friend of mine turned me onto, we got to see play at a fucking Disney concert hall, so the fact that she’s still with is us pretty incredible. Make some noise for the incredible fucking Kayleigh Goldsworthy. Such an amazing musician we got with us. Just so fun with them. And Tucker fucking Rule. Playing the Donald Duck. We’ve known Tucker real long fucking time. I remember, we were hanging out at a hotel, they were opening for Sparta, Thursday, anyway, I got to watch L.S. Dunes play today, that’s the band Frank is in with Tucker, and some amazing other human beings, and they sounded fucking huge, and it was awesome, so, hopefully you got to see that. And, uh, uh, yeah. Thank the cast, thank the crew. We got a guy named Juice. He’s been out with us since the beginning of all this, this is his last show. He’s gonna go—he’s from Australia. I do a way better Australian—I’m not gonna do that shit now, but anyway. He’s fucking Australian, and, uh, we love him, and we’re gonna miss him. Oh, Frank’s got something. Oh, shit, I don’t even know—I don’t even know what that was. Okay, so, we’re gonna go to the next song, but before I put this in m—my pocket, I got from Frank Iero, probably, one of the coolest fucking gifts I ever got, and I put it in my pocket, it’s these itty-bitty vampires. Little fucking vampires! Look at—Ray, look at this shit. You got your choice. You got a Nosferatu, you get a Bride, you get a classic Drac, I think that’s the three. Little—I fuckin’ love ‘em. That’s wonderful. Thank you, Frank. We’re gonna play you another song off motherfucking Danger Days right now. Get your fangs out. Can you possibly—can you possibly put your hands together?! Gimme that. Gimme that money.

[before helena]