🆗🆒

~ I’ll start

INTJ:  An hour of Soviet Communist music?! Yes please! 

INTP: ESTJs have ruled the world for far too long. It’s time to overturn the tyranny! 

ENTJ: Of course I don’t play video games to feel like God! …Ok, maybe I do.

ENTP: You know what’s underrated? Fire. 

Ne: living in the future

Ti: living in my head

Fe: living other people’s emotions

ESTP: what are you thinking

ENTP: if the past is a memory, and future is an illusion, and we can’t pinpoint present cause it’s constantly turning into past, then there’s no such thing as here and now, meaning our entire existence is, in itself, an illusion

ESTP:

When you’re an extrovert and you’ve gone 5 minutes without any social interaction

Mom: Honey, I made you some lemon juice!

Me: Oh wow thank you!

Dad: Also known as lemonade.

Me: Yeah thanks I kno-

Mom: I made it out of the lemons from the tree outside.

Dad: Lemons tend to grow on trees.

Mom: We have trees outside.

Me: I know I live here t—

Dad: Although these lemons aren’t very yellow.

Me: I know I can s-

Mom: That’s true, they’re very green.

Dad: I suspect these are limes, not lemons.

INTJ gf

ENTJ gf

INTP gf

ENTP gf

Gryffindor / Wampus / ENTP🔻

Me: I can read their emotions and predict their behaviour

Me: I know their MBTI types and Hogwarts houses, and I know EXACTLY how to get them to like me!

Person: Hello!

Me: ….

Person: …

ENTP: *realizes own arguments are contradicting and hopes the other person doesn’t notice*

Other person: okay but you just said…

ENTP:

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

7: What’s your strangest talent?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

13: What’s your religion?

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

17: What was the last lie you told?

18: Do you believe in karma?

19: What does your URL mean?

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

23: How do you vent your anger?

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

36: Define Art.

37: Do you believe in luck?

38: What’s the weather like right now?

39: What time is it?

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

41: What was the last book you read?

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

43: Do you have any nicknames?

44: What was the last film you saw?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

50: Do you believe in magic?

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

52: What is your astrological sign?

53: Do you save money or spend it?

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

55: Love or lust?

56: In a relationship?

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

59: Where were you yesterday?

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

62: What’s your favourite animal?

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

64: Where is your best friend?

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

77: How can I win your heart?

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

80: What size shoes do you wear?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

82: What is your favourite word?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

87: What is your current desktop picture?

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

98: Ever been on a plane?

I know. The internet lies. It’s shocking. 

We only make ourselves truly vulnerable to a few people, people we TRUST, and that’s actually strategic and calculated. It’s not that we lack the capacity to become emotionally attached to many people. It’s that we like to vet our inner circle carefully because 24/7 emotions aren’t our strong suit. 

We do feel. We feel plenty, and deeply.  We also tend to prefer honesty and candid straight-talk over games and smoke-blowing. The truth straight from someone’s mouth is preferable to gossip and nonsense, pretty much every time. 

We also get the human condition and are pretty quick to forgive human foul-ups. Shit happens. Generally speaking, we’re chill. 

So, when someone close betrays or wrongs us carelessly or intentionally, we can be leveled for a bit. It takes a while for our brains to catch up with the bleeding mess from getting stabbed in a blind spot. 

We might seem lost or overwhelmed or uncharacteristically passive about it. Or cold, like we don’t care. 

We’re just trying to process. Eventually, our thinking reboots. 

Eventually, we’ll emerge, either having figured out a course of action or looking for low-key camaraderie. If you’re trying to help, and we seem okay with that, listening is a good idea. Or food.

If you’re the shit-weasel who took advantage of our trust and stabbed us in our vulnerable underbelly, you might want to work on your apology. Logic is back online. Mama’s home.