where there's smoak...

"It really isn’t a waste at all." He said seriously, because he knew what he’d be doing if Dan hadn’t come over and it wasn’t much of anything. He rarely got the nerve to go out and mingle with men his own age, and women his own age weren’t something he had much interest in anymore. If anything, he’d likely have stayed home and done laundry to the sounds of a High School Musical marathon. Having Dan under his hands providing adult conversation was infinitely better, "You’re great company. You sell yourself short too often… You’re nice to be around." He promised genuinely, "I’m really glad you came by."

Dan’s words were both a comfort and a little bit of an anxiety for Josh. He appreciated that Dan knew about his daughter, and that he didn’t seem to be turned off to being Josh’s friend even with that fact in mind, though Josh was now certain that Dan didn’t have any kids of his own. It was weird, he often thought, that those without kids seemed not entirely amenable to being friends with those who did. He supposed it was a lifestyle difference. If he didn’t have kids, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make all the adjustments needed to hanging around those with them.

"It’s getting a little easier, and a little more difficult. At least she can tie her own shoes now and make herself a sandwich." He chuckled, "But no, there aren’t many nights off. And I’m tired of watching Disney channel." That part wasn’t entirely true, some of the shows could be pretty attention grabbing.

"I’m going to keep that in mind. Maybe I’ll go to school for massage and start charging." He joked. The likelihood of him doing anything other than what he was doing was pretty slim. What they had was stable and even if he craved something with a little more meaning, he knew it wouldn’t be fair to shake of the steady pace they’d established over the years, "Just me. For the first time in awhile. I’m a big fan of the Girl Scouts and the fact that all the parents seem pretty happy to host sleepovers. It means I can invite people over for random neckrubs without any spectators." He chuckled.

Even without a kid in sight, a quick scan of the environment suggested Josh definitely lived with a child. For a moment, Dan wondered what his life would’ve been like if he’d followed through with his intention to settle down with a woman and start a family, even if he knew --deep down-- that he wanted something different. Maybe he was better off single and alone.

You worry about going to jail over taxes???? Three words, bro: TurboTax dot com. What were your cool priorities? Y’know, before you grew up.

I wish I were young and carefree like yourself.

At first. But then it gets better. If you’re with someone who’s being careful and you have the patience to ride it out. I think I’m rather skilled at making it good. 

And what qualifies you to make that decision? Not that I’m doubting you. Just curious.

Josh smiled when he felt more than heard Dan’s response, enjoying the way he seemed to just loosen up under the first touches of Josh’s fingers against his neck. When he was sure he wasn’t going too fast, he dug in just a little deeper, fingers working harder to unknot the tension across the thick of his neck and the tops of his shoulders, genuinely wanting to make the experience as good for him as possible, “No tip needed… Consider it a standing invitation. Whenever you start to feel tense, just give me a call.” He said, hoping it wasn’t weird. Though he’d meant it when he said they both needed it, finding that he felt useful to be doing something other than his usual work and parenting.

Well, if you need a drinking buddy, I’m available. Taking a much-needed day off myself. I write a bunch of things: essays, fiction, the occasional blog post. I haven’t had a book published yet, but I did get a couple essays out there.

I’ve always wanted to write book --- never enough time. Press releases and other corporate-y things are my wheelhouse.

What?! There’s no bad end. I mean, if you’re doing it right. …Are you implying you’ve never been somebody’s bottom? Because it kind of sounds like you’re not too sure about it.

I’m fifty-three. Obviously I’m not saying that. But you know, “taking” it isn’t exactly the most comforting experience ... at first.