❊

⊹ smut tags: no smut in this part :p ⊹ warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p

⊹ what i would like to note about this story before you read it: you're not meant to like these characters (for most of the story at least lol), they are flawed in many ways, thats the whole point of this story tbh. tmi--but this story is pretty much my free therapy lol. and i love a messy plot! wonwoo and reader are just two normal people in this story and i wanted to write something a little more raw than i'm used to. so just take what i say with a grain of salt before reading ♡ i still want you to enjoy this story because i poured my soul into it. so thank you for your support and kind asks and comments about the teaser!

prologue. 

Despite your age, you’ve never been in a serious relationship. There was always something holding you back, or rather, someone. 

In all the years you’ve known Wonwoo, you’ve always thought maybe one day, he would look at you in a different light. Hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings you’ve harboured for him since the eleventh grade. 

He was the one who constantly moved out of relationships. You couldn’t even count the amount of late-night calls where he asked you what his “next step” should be. The doting best friend that you are, you’d gladly stay up all night trying to help him fix his girl problems. 

“I just, I don’t have feelings for her anymore. Is that wrong?” he asked you over the phone. 

Tossing and turning in your bed you let out a deep sigh. One thing is always guaranteed with Wonwoo: in a relationship, he loses feelings quickly. No matter how much he likes the girl, no matter how obsessed or possessive he feels for them at the beginning of it all, it diminishes by the time the six-month mark hits. 

Although he may be a great friend to you, relationships were never his strong suit. 

“It’s not wrong to fall out of love, but how many times are you going to break up with someone before you decide to stay?” you ask him, and he pauses to think. 

“I don’t know, but I can’t stay, that would make things worse,” he sighs. “It’s better to just stop this whole thing now.” 

“I agree, but are you sure?” you continue to ask him the same questions you’ve been asking since you were sixteen. 

“I’m sure,” he replies with a heavy sigh. 

“Okay, then goodnight. It’s almost one in the morning,” you try to cut the call, but he continues to speak. 

“I’m not the bad guy, right?” he asks you for reassurance. 

“No, you’re just human Wonwoo. There’s nothing wrong with losing feelings for someone,” you affirmed. 

“Alright, thank you, good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers listlessly. 

“Good night, Wonwoo.” 

Your phone beeps indicating that he’s hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you? 

act one, favorite crime.

chapter one. 

“Wait, what? You and Wonwoo aren’t dating?” Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat. 

The rest of your friend group is boring holes into your face as they all sit around Jeonghan’s living room. The blood rises in your cheeks, but you shake your head anyway. 

It feels like every time you’re with your friends, they ask you the same set of questions. Constantly wondering why you and Wonwoo haven’t thought about dating, or why you two haven’t decided to take the chance and just be together. 

“You guys need to stop asking that. A guy can befriend someone of the opposite gender,” Wonwoo defends the two of you. 

“You’re telling me in all the years you’ve known her, you haven’t developed feelings for her once?” Cheol continues to instigate, and your eyes go wide. 

Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond. 

“No, c’mon, we’re just friends. That’s it, right?” Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up. 

Your mouth runs dry as he stares at you, his eyebrows rising in anticipation. 

“U-uh yeah, Wonwoo’s right, we’re just friends,” you blurt out, not being able to handle all the expectant eyes on you all at once. 

“See? Now can you all just get off our backs?” he chastises. 

The chatter starts up again, moving past the topic of you and Wonwoo’s friendship. But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. He’s completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.

You understand your relationship with Wonwoo is different from most people’s, but at the same time, it should be normal for a girl and a guy to just be friends. And at least you respect Wonwoo’s feelings, and you also respect that whenever he’s dating someone the dynamic between you two shifts. 

He becomes more detached when he’s in a relationship, and you’re okay with that. His priorities change and you’re okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you can’t force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that. 

You’ve never tried to get in the way of his love life, or purposefully give him bad advice to ruin what he has with someone else. Not since you were seventeen, and at that time in your life your frontal lobe was a measly speck of dust, but it's different now. Now, your morals don’t change just because you love him, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less to see the person you’re in love with, fall in love with someone else. 

two. 

“Hey, you okay?” Seokmin approaches you, and you turn your head, acknowledging his presence. 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m alright,” you mutter, but you know you don’t look that way. 

Seokmin has known you since high school and has seen you through everything, probably more than Wonwoo. He knows when you’re not feeling well. A sympathetic permanent on his lips as he continues to observe you play with the food on your plate, pushing around the food aimlessly but never taking a bite. 

The sounds of people conversing throughout the dining hall never die down. But luckily, the commotion keeps your thoughts of Wonwoo at bay, or at least that’s what you like to think. But your heart can’t seem to let go of that moment from the other day. Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife. 

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? You can tell me,” he sighs, pushing the hair covering your face and placing it behind your ear. 

You can feel the tears start to pool, but you try your damndest not to let them spill—not like this, not in front of so many people. 

“It was just something Wonwoo said when we were all at Hannie’s house,” you mumble, refusing to make eye contact with your friend. 

“What did he say?” 

“That he’s never liked me before,” you sigh, feeling a tear slip from your eye. 

Cursing yourself in your head, you hate how much your feelings for him affect you. You hate how he doesn’t have to even be in front of you, yet he can still cause your emotions to fluctuate. 

“It’s alright,” he coos, pulling you into his strong arms. 

It felt weird, to hug Seokmin so tightly in the middle of your university’s dining hall. But you’re thankful for how aware he is, how he actually cares about your feelings. You felt melodramatic sitting there crying in the fucking dining hall of all places, but you couldn’t help but let your tears flow as Seokmin comforts you with his soft voice. 

“You deserve more than this, I hope you know that,” he whispers in your ear.

three. 

Over the next few days, the words Seokmin had whispered to you kept replaying in your head. You did deserve better and looking at all of Wonwoo’s past relationships is the perfect example. He’s not exactly the ideal boyfriend, so why did you even have feelings for him in the first place?

You could feel a migraine coming on from how hard you were thinking, but Wonwoo still seems to be the only person you can’t let go of. No matter how many times you’ve tried. 

A knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts. It was late, and you don’t remember anyone messaging you saying that they were going to come over, but you open the door anyway. 

“Hey, sorry I didn’t text,” Wonwoo moves past you, takes his shoes off, and plops on your couch. 

“It’s okay, what’s up?” you move to sit beside him. 

“I broke up with her,” He says, shrugging. 

Taken aback by his nonchalance, your eyes widen. He seems calm for someone who has just broken up with his girlfriend. But you try not to think too hard about it, or you might just have to take another Advil to remedy your already growing headache. 

“Well, how did it go?” you ask with a bit of apprehension. 

Knowing Wonwoo, you knew that he probably just dumped her over the phone or something. He’s never been bothered to really break up with someone. 

You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him. It’s pitiful, to say the least, people probably would think that you’re a masochist because you subject yourself to staying by his side when he has feelings for another. 

“She was crying, but at least it’s over now,” Wonwoo informs you as he eats the snacks you had left on your coffee table. 

“Oh.” You could feel the guilt start to seep into your veins. 

It never felt good to hear Wonwoo talk about his breakups, but you’re not sure how to react. There’s a part of you that’s happy to know that he’s single again, but the majority of you pities the girl who had just gotten her heart broken. 

Wonwoo continues to munch on the snacks left on your table while your mind tries to process the information you’ve been given. Hearing him talk so casually about his breakup leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you decide to switch topics instead of asking any more questions. 

“Are you still going to Seokmin’s thing this weekend, though?” you ask him, trying to fill the air with something to drown out your rapid heartbeats. 

He shrugs his shoulders, “If I feel like it. Are you?” 

The bottom of your stomach tightens. You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there. 

“I mean, I don’t have a ride so…” you trail off, pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing on the T.V. screen. 

“I’ll go since you’re going, that way you have a ride,” he mumbles, adjusting his posture to lean back on your couch. 

He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up. You’re very aware of his proximity, and you try not to let it show. But the smell of his cologne invades your senses, knocking the breath out of your chest. 

Wonwoo’s arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder. Exhaling, you let yourself enjoy his way of showing affection. Although to him it means nothing, and to you, quite literally everything. 

“Thank you for agreeing to go to Seokmin’s so I have a ride,” you whisper but still avoid eye contact so he doesn’t notice your flustered expression. 

“Thank you for letting me barge in here just so I can talk about my breakup,” he whispers back, kissing the top of your head. 

“Of course, what are best friends for?” 

four. 

Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.

 Falling in love with Wonwoo wasn’t gradual at all. 

If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day. Your affection for him grew rapidly, and before you knew it, your mind was clouded with him and him only. It became hard to stay rational as if you were driving down a snow-filled road without any control over the steering wheel. Swerving into different lanes, your brakes malfunction, making it hard to bring your car to a full stop. Falling in love with Wonwoo was not gradual or easy.

When you met him on the first day of your junior year of high school, your sixteen-year-old brain couldn’t fully comprehend your crush on him. He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you. But that didn’t stop you from liking him. Despite his interest in collecting pokémon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love. 

You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea. 

When he returned for your senior year, you could barely recognize him. Suddenly the nerdy Wonwoo you knew was gone. His glasses complimented his face, his hair was styled differently, and most of all, he got hot. A lot of your classmates must’ve seemed to agree because now your best friend and the man you’re in love with gained attention from people who didn’t even bat an eyelash at him last year. 

It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didn’t mean he was that much different from how he was last year. 

Even though Wonwoo was in a relationship, he still stayed true to your friendship. He still hung out with you, ate lunch with you, you even came over on weekends to have dinner with his family. Day by day, your love for him strengthened, and you ignored that his attention had been divided between you and his girlfriend at the time. 

When their relationship hit three months, it seemed your friendship had come to an abrupt halt. He didn’t invite you for dinner as often, you two didn’t talk on the phone every other night. He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasn’t worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice. 

“I feel like I need to break up with Haein,” his deep voice flowed through your phone speaker. A sigh left his lips as he faced the truth. 

Haein was Wonwoo’s first girlfriend. She was nice, almost too nice. Wonwoo definitely had a type for girls with a bubbly personality. Ones that were effortlessly beautiful, reminiscent of a freshly made porcelain doll. That was Haein to you, unblemished in every way possible. Everything that you weren’t.

You couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. She was too nice to hate, but your younger self was so angry at how much of Wonwoo's time she took up that you envied her. Seokmin once jokingly mentioned that you looked especially green when she was around, and you remember how quickly you checked your appearance on the nearest reflective surface because of what he had said in passing. You remember vividly how nervous his words made you, was it that obvious?

Wonwoo’s first time calling you about his breakup plans was a delightful surprise, and you were too in shock to sputter out a proper response.

“Oh. Why?” was all you could say, still stunned that after a week of no contact, this was the first thing he said. 

“‘Dunno, I just don’t like her anymore,” he admitted effortlessly. 

You didn’t know how to respond. Your heart was screaming at you to encourage him to break up with his girlfriend at the time, while your brain was telling you to think logically. 

“Well, if that’s what you think is right,” you mumbled, trying to hide the fact that you felt a sense of relief at Wonwoo potentially being single again. 

Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.

History repeated itself over and over, and the older you got, you learnt to not be so selfish with his attention. Mostly out of guilt for the person he was going to break up with, but also because you didn’t want Wonwoo to realize your true feelings. 

Although being in love with Wonwoo was brutal, you constantly wished that things were different between you two, but they weren’t. He’s never seen you as more than a friend, and as your friendship with him progressed, you had begun to learn to mask your romantic feelings for platonic ones. 

five. 

By the time you entered university, you had mastered the art of pretending. As if your feelings for Wonwoo didn’t exist. You are quite meticulous in ensuring that he never realizes that you are profoundly in love with him. The mere thought of him finding out how you truly felt frightened you. 

You’ve already envisioned countless scenarios on how it could go. The idea of being rejected by the one you love most. It would change everything about your friendship with him.  The look of pity in his eyes, the apologies that would spill out of his mouth. You can't bear even the thought of rejection. Not from him. 

Two voices are constantly at war inside your mind. Your brain, acting as the voice of reason, constantly reminds you that it’s better to preserve your friendship. To keep the dynamic you’ve always had with Wonwoo guarded where it could last, thrive. While your heart persuaded you with deluded, fake scenarios. 

‘What if he likes you back?’ 

‘You never know until you try.’ 

‘Take the risk or lose the chance.’ 

What if. 

Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesn’t let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit. 

The possibilities are endless, and you’d rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality. 

A notification brings you out of your thoughts. Although you already knew that it was Wonwoo, you scramble to pick up your phone. There’s excitement laced in your veins as you look down at the screen. 

7:06 p.m. [wons <3]: be there in 5. 

There was no reason for you to be so ecstatic but you couldn’t help it. He had already texted you prior, notifying you that he was leaving his place to come pick you up, and yet every time your phone buzzes, you still hope that it’s something completely different. But that was your heart talking; you knew that it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary. 

Everyone had planned to meet at Seokmin’s place today, just to have one last celebration before midterms began again. You had happily agreed, enthusiastic that you could spend more time with Wonwoo, although it wouldn’t be a one-on-one thing. You were more than elated to see him while also being able to hang out with the rest of your friends. 

Throwing your phone back on the bed, you change into an outfit that is both cute and comfortable. There wasn’t a reason to dress up when the vibe at Seokmin’s was just going to be sitting around his living room, drinking cocktails and eating pizza. 

Wonwoo texts you once more to let you know he’s outside, causing you to race down to meet him. A lump in your throat arises, as he comes into your field of vision, appreciating how breathtakingly handsome he is. 

The chilled breeze brushes through the strands of his hair, glasses perched on his tall nose. He looked amazing, just like he always had, but you never get bored of admiring him. Even if it’s just from afar. 

“Hi! Sorry if I kept you waiting,” your voice resounds into the night. 

“It's never a problem if it’s you,” he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car. 

Trying not to read too deep into his words, you snort at his cheesy line instead of giving a response. Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know you’ll think about it for the rest of the night. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asks, smiling at you. 

The ride to Seokmin’s house is fairly quiet, the sounds of music filling the silence instead. Your thoughts are overflowing with scenarios once again, wondering how different the car ride would be if you and Wonwoo were in a relationship. His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough. 

…

  The clock on Seokmin’s pale white wall is nearing midnight and you don’t want to be here anymore. Not when the only thing you could focus on was Wonwoo flirting with a girl whose name you didn’t catch. She’s Joshua’s childhood friend and he only brought her along because she’s visiting from out of town. Whoever she was, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwoo’s deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.

The ugly swirl of jealousy sits in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't help but scoff at your wretched situation. It made you sick watching them, and you could throw up any minute now. At this point, you weren’t sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesn’t realize how greatly he can impact your feelings. 

Just a few hours ago, you were in utter bliss. Sitting in the front seat of his car, listening to the music softly playing on the ride to Seokmin’s apartment. Making stupid jokes and pointing out the random sights that you had seen while driving down the bustling city streets. You envy how easy it is for Wonwoo to make all those feelings of delight vanish. And he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, and that’s what hurts the most. 

“You doing okay?” Seokmin comes up to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah I’m okay,” you chuckle, but there’s nothing humorous about your laugh at all. 

His eyes soften, he knows that you’re not okay. Seokmin always knew. After all these years, he can tell when you’re trying to save face. There’s a lump in your throat, and if you didn’t have a drink to sip on to distract you, you probably would’ve gone to the bathroom to cry. 

“You wanna talk in my room?” he offers, and you’re grateful. 

Seokmin knew he had to get you somewhere other than the living room. You were practically torturing yourself, sitting on the couch and watching Wonwoo talk to everyone but you. 

Instead of agreeing vocally, you nod your head before standing up to follow Seokmin to his room. The door shuts softly, muffling the sounds of laughter and allowing your uneasiness to finally subside. 

As you sit on Seokmin’s bed, you feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. It feels pathetic, crying over something so trivial. Why does it have to be you who feels this way? Why can’t you just be a normal friend and see Wonwoo in a platonic light? The whole world could turn upside and he’d be the first person you search for. 

Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? It’s tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that you’ll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesn’t love you back. 

“It’s okay, just let it out,” Seokmin whispers in your ear, embracing you in a tight hug. 

Crying felt good. You rarely cry over your situation despite how upsetting it is. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to finally indulge in your sadness and let go of everything you were too afraid to say or feel.  

“I know it sucks right now, but honestly, it might be time to get over him,” Seokmin continues to comfort you while trying to help you face the reality of your situation. “You’re so hurt, and it’s taking a toll on you. Please, I can’t bear to see you so sad.” 

His words hit you hard because you know it's true. But all you can do is apologize. Saying sorry for feeling this way, even though it’s not your fault, you cannot control your feelings, you still apologize. To Seokmin, to your friends, but also yourself. 

“I-I’m sorry,” you hiccup, tears staining Seokmin’s white shirt. 

“Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong,” he mutters, his large hand patting your head, trying to soothe your fit of emotions. 

“Because, if I was normal, you wouldn’t have to worry about me, about why I’m always upset, you and the others, my feelings are burdening all of you,” you continue to weep softly in his arms, gripping onto his shoulders as his hands encircle your waist. 

“Hey, look at me–” he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. “You are not a burden. We care, that’s why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.” 

“Thank you, Seokmin. I’m so happy that I have someone like you in my life,” you pull him into a hug again, knocking the air out of his chest, but he’s still somehow able to hug you even tighter. 

Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. He’s always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo. 

“I’m so tired, I’m tired of feeling like this,” you admit to him. 

Running his hands through your hair, he gives you a reassuring smile. 

“Maybe it’s time to distance yourself from him a bit, you two have been glued to the hip for so long. Maybe that distance can help organize your feelings better,” he mutters, catching the stray tears that pool at your chin, and wiping them away for you. 

“I want to feel better,” you agree with him, still trying to recover from how hard you were sobbing into his chest. 

“I care about you, okay? We all do. Wonwoo cares about you, too, but there’s a point where you’ll have to be okay with whatever outcome happens if you decide to tell him how you feel. Or you just have to find a way to get over him,” he speaks softly, trying not to crush your heart with reality, but you know he’s right. “In the Future, you will thank yourself for making whatever decision you have to make, but trust me, holding all these feelings in won’t do you any good.” He ends his pep talk there, and you sigh, trying to process everything he said. 

“Thank you, Minnie, I’m so thankful I have you,” you sniffled. 

“And I you.” 

…

Seokmin explained to Soonyoung and Jihoon that you needed to go home after your talk in his bedroom. They were more than happy to take you along with them before heading back to their place, not wanting to force you into a car with Wonwoo at the end of the night. 

“Of course, it’s really no trouble at all,” Soonyoung reassures you after you had asked about a million times if it was okay to ride home with them. 

The car ride is drastically different from the one you had taken on the way to Seokmin’s, Soonyoung being the number one reason why. He’s not the best at reading the room, although Jihoon is constantly telling him to shut up. He knows you are upset over something, but Soonyoung’s way of cheering you up is getting you to laugh. While Jihoon believed that you may want a more peaceful environment after everything that happened. 

As Jihoon drove, Soonyoung sang along with the lyrics of the current song playing. Loud enough for anyone outside the car to hear him. You could tell he was a bit tipsy after the few beers he had earlier, but you didn’t mind the noise. Jihoon begged to differ. 

“Soon, can you tone it down? Please. People are looking at us,” Jihoon grumbles, trying to focus on the road ahead. 

“But you love it when I sing,” Soonyoung whines, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“I do, but our friend has had a long night,” Jihoon counters. 

Soonyoung turns to face you from the passenger seat. “If you want me to be quiet, I will.” 

“No, it’s okay, I’m actually enjoying it, thank you very much,” you giggle, and that was all the confirmation he needed, going back to his antics. 

Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him. This distraction from all the conflicting thoughts gives you a refuge from the war inside your mind.  

The whole way back to your place was filled with singing and laughter, allowing you to finally feel at ease for once. Albeit Jihoon pretended to act annoyed the whole time, you knew he secretly loved how Soonyoung tried to bring the mood back up to help you. 

Once you got home, you thanked the two before bidding them farewell. Apprehension flowed throughout you, and you didn't want to be alone with your thoughts after being around someone as cheerful as Soonyoung. But you didn’t know where else to go or what else to do.

Laying in your bed, you think about how today went from beginning to end, and you’re scared of what will happen in the future. Sighing to yourself, you allow yourself to at least get some rest instead of staying up all night thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow. Turning your phone on "do not disturb," the stillness in your apartment lulls you to sleep. 

1:09 a.m. [wons <3]: seokmin said u went home early? u ok? 

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

chapter one. 

Wonwoo’s ride home was sombre, yet desolate. Your absence from his passenger seat irked him. Street lights whisk by his vision in a blur, but he’s too lost in his thoughts as he drives on autopilot, wondering why you went home so early. You didn’t even say goodbye. It’s the first time you went home from Seokmin’s place without him. 

By the time he got home, his curiosity had started to claw at him, but he didn’t want to be irrational and assume the worst. So he texted you, hoping that there would be an explanation awaiting him in the morning. 

Not a single notification from you came that very next morning. No matter how many times his phone went off, no matter how many notifications popped up from his screen. None of them were you. Morning turned to afternoon, and afternoon slowly turned into night. Still nothing. 

He feels dejected. Everything seemed to be going okay just last night. That was until you abruptly left without telling him you were going home. What changed? Why did it feel like there was a shift between you two? 

Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo. Most times, it’s him that’s doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the breakup and lose feelings first; every decision he made was made by him. He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling. 

Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least that’s what he forces himself to believe. That it’s not fair of you to ignore him when he’s worried about you, because he’s your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up at your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been. 

Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care. Because in his mind, you’re his best friend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesn’t even consider it a possibility. You were busy, that’s it. That has to be it. 

… 

Less than forty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence was perfectly normal, then maybe you would eventually end up answering him. 

12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?

Nothing. Not even a thumb’s up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing that’s so important that you couldn’t even open his message let alone read them? 

1:27 p.m.  [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didn’t give it to her though 😁

Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He can’t believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes it’ll be the text that finally gets you to respond. 

2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u.  [1 photo attachment] 

Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of what’s worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.

4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today? 

The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed. 

4:30 p.m.  [wons <3]: saw u get into seokmin’s car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw. 

Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin, of all people, solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just can’t stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back. 

Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, he’s unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up. 

two, wonwoo’s summer before senior year. 

The school year flew by with the speed of light. And before Wonwoo knew it, he was home back in Korea for the summer. The dreaded fifteen-hour plane ride over was excruciating. There was an ache in his lower back, and his knees felt like they were being struck by a hammer with every step he took. But at least the worst part was over. 

Sixteen-year-old Wonwoo was quite naive, thinking that he’d be welcomed into his home country with loving arms. That hadn’t been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldn’t help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him. 

He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone. With you by his side, Wonwoo had finally understood the true meaning of solace, a peace of mind that couldn’t be replicated. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.

Every year that Wonwoo was dragged back to Korea by his parents was excruciating. Especially because he had a certain distaste for his relatives. Maybe it was disrespectful to loathe them the way he did, but he couldn’t care less. Their scathing comments would flow out of their mouths just to pierce daggers of judgement into his back. To insult Wonwoo was second nature to his aunts, and he couldn’t do much but sit back and listen.  

Much to his dismay, his parents hadn’t even bothered to book an Airbnb for their stay, informing him and his brother that they would be staying with his aunt. He couldn’t stand his aunt Seo-Ah in particular, and he swore the feeling was mutual. Unsure of why he had to withstand her crude remarks in front of his family without much protest, he forced himself not to dish out rude rebuttals to everything she had to say. 

There was a time when Wonwoo tried to reason with himself on why his aunt was filled with so much bitterness, but he gave up on that long ago. He was about to be seventeen now, and he couldn’t bring himself to empathize with the older lady anymore. 

“Wonwoo! You’re all grown up now, and I can’t believe it,” Seo-Ah forced him into a bone-crushing hug as he tried his best not to push her off of him. She pulled back to take a closer look at him and he could already see the scrutinizing gleam in her eyes, “You know, you’re still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?” 

Wonwoo wanted to scoff at her, but he kept a neutral expression. 

“No they do, I don’t know maybe it’s my fast metabolism or something,” he refuted her claims. He couldn’t wait to get out of her sight. 

“You know, maybe you should start going to the gym, get some muscle on you or something,” she patted his lanky arm and laughed that dreadful laugh. The ones that have no real humour behind it, just to cover up the obvious dig she took at his appearance. 

“Yeah maybe,” he dismisses her to head into the house. Setting his luggage down to check whether or not you’ve texted him yet. 

It was about five in the evening in Changwon, but he knew you wouldn’t be asleep. Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed. 

[4:15 p.m. kst]  [you: i stayed up all night watching buzzfeed unsolved]  [you: im going crazy i keep getting paranoid to the point i’ve turned all my mirrors backwards]  [you: hope ur flight was ok tho!!! 🫶]

He chuckled to himself, remembering your wide eyes and elaborate plan to sneak snacks into your room in the early hours of the morning behind your parents’ backs. Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit. 

Wonwoo did not care for horror or anything scary, but if you were to ask him to stay up all night on Facetime binge-watching your little Buzzfeed videos, he would do so in a heartbeat. 

Two days down, about another 89 to go, Wonwoo thought to himself as he looked through your messages with him. You had already spammed the chat mercilessly about your first two days of summer break, and your intricate mission to stay up without accidentally falling asleep in the middle of it all. 

[6:00 p.m. kst] [1 photo attachment]  [you: currently trying to sneak snacks into my room without my mom knowing]  [you: u better not snitch 😾]  [you: its so boring w out u here btw SO COME BACK SOON PLSS]  [you: ok thats enuff…txt me when u land!]

Wonwoo really missed you. 

…

One more week and Wonwoo would finally get to see you again. The ability to talk to you in person, hug you, and spend time with you gave him something to look forward to, and thankfully, summer break went by fast because of it. 

He had spent most of his time in Korea eating at local food spots, going to the gym, and trying a lot of new things with his brother, Seongho, giving them time to bond before he went off to University again. Wonwoo had missed his brother dearly during the school year, but at least they were able to pass the time together during summer break. 

It was initially his brother’s convincing that got him to go to the gym for the very first time. The idea of going to a place with a lot of sweaty, adrenaline-filled people kind of frightened him, but the more he went, the more he started to like what he saw in the mirror. Wonwoo’s shoulders had broadened, and his lanky arms finally started to show signs of muscles. He was satisfied in knowing that all of his hard work, and Seongho’s encouragement had finally paid off. 

Seongho told him he looked a lot more carefree now that he wasn’t so worried about his appearance all the time. And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasn’t all that bad-looking, after all. 

Wonwoo had begun to take pride in his vanity. He searched for different ways to style his hair, bought glasses that better suited his face shape, and, most of all, did his best to act more confidently. The sudden change made him wonder how you would react. He had been anticipating your reaction, wanting to see the look on your face once he returned home. 

“You got it. Just one more rep, and we can switch,” Seongho encouraged Wonwoo as he tried to push the bar up from his chest. 

His muscles were aching in the most addictive and satisfying way. He almost wished he had started working out earlier because only good things seemed to have come ever since he stepped foot into the gym. 

“Okay! You’re done, that was good,” his older brother high-fived him, a proud smile dancing along his lips. 

“Thanks, but my arms feel like jelly now,” he huffed a chuckle before gulping down the contents of his water bottle. 

Seongho chuckled along with him before setting himself down on the workout bench. His actions faltered, and he slowly observed the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrows in amusement. 

“Uh, don’t look now, but I think that girl is staring at you,” Seongho tilted his head in the girl’s direction and Wonwoo couldn’t be more confused. 

“Huh? Are you sure it's me they’re looking at and not you?” 

“I’m serious! You should go talk to her,” Seongho grinned, pushing his younger brother in the direction of the girl who was supposedly eyeing Wonwoo. 

“Hyung!” Wonwoo calls out but it falls on deaf ears as his older brother begins his bench presses. 

Wonwoo turns towards the girl in the most awkward way humanly possible. He was completely dumbfounded and not sure what to do in the situation he’d been put in. The girl who was staring at him waved flirtatiously, and before he could even think about his next move, his feet had begun to move on their own accord. 

“Hi, I saw you working out over there, are you new here?” she asked him, batting her eyelashes. 

“Uhm, I guess? I’m only here for the summer though,” he spoke with apprehension, because what the hell was he even supposed to say? 

“Oh! Me too. My name is Haein, by the way.” Haein’s smile reached her eyes as she giggled, and her hand extended to shake Wonwoo’s. 

Wonwoo’s actions were practically robotic, rubbing his sweaty palms on his gym shorts before taking her hand in his. He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun. 

“I’m Wonwoo.” 

“Wonwoo, hmm, that’s a cute name. But I think I would like it more in my contacts,” she flirted shamelessly, her fingers squeezing his sweaty bicep. 

Wonwoo’s mind short-circuited, and he took out his phone from his pocket so fast it almost slipped out of his grasp. Haein found it endearing though, and happily gave him her phone number. 

They talked for the rest of Wonwoo's time at the gym and promised to hang out more before they both went home at the end of the summer. 

To put it simply, Wonwoo was on cloud nine for the first time since he’s been here. Suddenly his aunt Seo-Ah’s words weren’t so hurtful, his confidence had skyrocketed, plus he had a beautiful girl to talk to for the rest of his vacation. 

By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less. Even though he still saw you as his best friend, he began to find peace in other things, like the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown. Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon. 

…

The after-effects of Wonwoo’s surprisingly pleasant summer vacation hadn’t worn off just yet. The gift of Haein appearing in his life seemed to just keep on giving. Not only did she live overseas, she had told him that she was actually from the same city as him. It was a little hard to believe at first as if he was the main character in a cheesy rom-com, but he couldn’t find it in him to complain. Haein made him feel wanted, excited, and cared for. 

Wonwoo wasn’t entirely devoid of those feelings, especially with you as his best friend, but it was different coming from Haein. Every time he saw her, he felt like he was going to throw up, in a good way of course, but she also boosted his confidence. He liked that she made him feel like he was a man worth depending on. 

Haein was his first real relationship, and although he was still young, he could see himself being with her for a long time. 

…

Quite like the seasons, Wonwoo’s feelings for Haein changed drastically by the time school was back in session. Although he and Haein lived in the same city, there was a lot more than just distance that separated them. 

Six months into their relationship, Wonwoo began to doubt himself. He was less eager to meet her or even text her. He could only blame himself for how things turned out with Haein. Despite his adolescence, he believed he loved her; he just got tired and disinterested. 

On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control. Why didn’t Haein ever want to talk about what Wonwoo was interested in? Why did she seem bored out of her mind when he would delve into his theories about his favourite shows? Or anything about himself and what he liked. As though she didn’t see him for the Wonwoo he was, the personality he had behind his looks. 

“It all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!” Wonwoo couldn’t contain his excitement about the newest episode, but Haein didn’t seem interested in hearing her boyfriend geek out. 

“I'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,” Haein sighed into the phone, and if Wonwoo could guess, she was probably picking at her cuticles out of boredom. “I just didn’t get anything that was happening.” 

“Wait, really?” He was a little offended, how could she not be obsessing over the beautiful intricacies of his favourite anime? Wonwoo didn’t understand. 

He didn’t understand because when he introduced you to the show, you texted him the next day saying you were caught up to where he had left off. It amazed Wonwoo how fast you were at binge-watching shows, especially because he had told you about it on a weekday. 

You came into school the morning after with dark circles under your eyes, but even with that tired look on your face, you ran up to him with so much eagerness while thanking him for urging you to watch his favourite show. You two were obsessed and never missed out on watching the weekly episodes together.  It had become you and Wonwoo’s thing, and even though he wanted Haein to join in on the fun, he found himself more entertained by your theories than by talking on the phone with his girlfriend. 

It dawned on him that he wished that Haein acted a little more like you. And it made him feel guilty. He knew he should’ve loved Haein no matter her interests, but he wanted someone who could understand his nerdy side. And that was only something that you were able to do. 

“Honestly, I’m really tired, I’m gonna go to bed now okay?” Haein’s voice brought Wonwoo out of his thoughts. 

“Oh okay. Night.” He said before ending the call so quickly that Haein’s ‘I love you’ was cut off mid-sentence. 

Haein probably had thought he had forgotten, but Wonwoo just didn’t want to say those words if he didn’t mean it. He had grown annoyed, and a little bored of practically talking to a wall all night.  

Comparable to the light switching off in his bedroom, he decided to do the same thing with Haein. He pushed his guilt aside and decided it was probably best to leave Haein and Changwon in the past. The memories of his last week of summer with her would become something he would look back on in the future and smile. But he didn’t want to pretend any longer, it would’ve just hurt her more if he stayed, he couldn’t help that he fell out of love with her. The least he could do was not lead her on. 

Wonwoo’s relationship with Haein was merely a catalyst and a peek into what the rest of his relationships were going to look like in adulthood. He was never able to comprehend why he couldn’t keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasn’t sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer. 

three, present time.

The answer was you. But of course, Wonwoo didn’t know that. 

“Are you gonna keep checking your phone every five minutes or are you gonna do your homework?” Mingyu lectures him. 

The two were studying in the library before their stats midterm, but Wonwoo’s mind couldn’t help but wonder. He hasn’t been acting like himself since the night of Seokmin’s party. 

“Oh, right.” Wonwoo clears his throat, putting his phone face down on the table. 

Wonwoo drags his palms against his face, trying to not let sleep overtake him. It is not his fault that every time he tries to close his eyes, your face comes into his mind. The memory of you smiling with Seokmin made his insides twist. He hasn’t seen you smile that hard in a while, and he almost misses how your eyes crinkle whenever you do so. You were practically haunting him and he had no idea how to make it stop. 

“Not to be rude, but you’ve been looking like shit lately. What’s wrong?” Mingyu questions him with furrowed eyebrows. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his friend, he didn’t have to be insulted to know how crappy he looked, but Mingyu seemed to only be telling the truth. Wonwoo did look and feel like shit. With the amount of near run-ins he’s had with you and Seokmin on campus, he’s begun to sense that it’s some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that it’s completely unwarranted. 

Forcing a hand through his dark locks, Wonwoo contemplates whether or not he should just go up to you in person and demand answers. It’s uncommon for the two of you to fight, or ignore each other for that matter. But he can’t help but presume that if he were to confront you about your silence, there would be no rightful explanation. Or at least not the explanation that he wants from you. 

Every time he even fathoms the thought of barging into your apartment and asking what the hell is wrong, there’s a lingering nervousness that he wishes would dissipate, leading him to lay awake with his thoughts for hours on end. 

“Thanks for that, asshole, I just haven’t been getting much sleep,” Wonwoo huffs. 

“Okay, obviously. You practically look like a zombie with the way you’ve been moping around. What has been keeping you up?” Mingyu presses. 

It’s not every day that Wonwoo indulges in his problems with Mingyu, that’s what you were for. However, he can’t talk about his problems about you, to you, so he’ll have to settle for the next best thing.  

“Y/N has been ignoring me since the night we all hung out at Seokmin’s,” Wonwoo confesses, and it feels nice. 

For the past two weeks, he’s been keeping his frustrations to himself, and now that he can freely speak about it lifts the weight off his chest. 

Mingyu snorts, obviously finding his friend’s situation humorous. Wonwoo sneers at Mingyu’s reaction, clearly not finding anything about you ignoring him funny. 

“Serves you right, you’re a dick to her, man.” Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare. 

“What?” Wonwoo sputters, since when was he a dick to you? His best friend? 

“How blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you can’t see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?” Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression. 

“I am not a dick to her. She would definitely tell me if I’ve ever said something to hurt her feelings,” Wonwoo defends himself. 

Attempting to rack his brain of all your moments together, he can’t seem to pick out a memory where he has been especially rude to you. Of course, you two teased each other from time to time, but he wasn’t a complete asshole. He knew when to not take a joke too far or purposely try to upset you. 

“You’re a dumbass.” Mingyu lets out a frustrated sigh which only aggravates Wonwoo even more. 

“Could you stop with the insults for one second and just tell me what’s going on?” 

Shutting his laptop, Mingyu’s posture becomes serious, a deviation from his usual carefree and smiley self. He cares about you just as much as the next person, so if he had to reality-check his friend, then so be it. 

“She cares about you a lot. And you treat her like shit. It’s not about what you’ve said to her, it’s your actions. Ever since we were in high school all you’ve done is use her to solve your problems. I can’t even blame her for wanting to cut you off. I don’t know what happened at Seokmin’s place for her to realize that, but you don’t deserve her,” Mingyu confesses. 

Soaking up each word that left Mingyu’s mouth, Wonwoo sat in a pool of perplexity. There are so many questions flying through his mind, yet he can’t seem to utter a single word. Is that really how everyone perceives his friendship with you? 

Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hear all of this coming from you, not Mingyu. The frustration of wanting to talk to you about this is taking a toll on him, he doesn’t want to believe that Mingyu is telling the truth. 

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Mingyu gets to know these things about you while Wonwoo is just left in the dark. Did he make you feel like you couldn’t tell him anything? 

Ever since Wonwoo met you, it was evident that he can be quite merciless when it comes to his relationships, but that’s romantic, not platonic. Wonwoo was convinced that he treated you equally because that’s how it's supposed to be. 

Hearing Mingyu talk about his friendship with you in that way caused Wonwoo’s whole world to crash down. And the only thing he can do in moments like these is seek out your comfort, except he can’t anymore. Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but he’s pushed you so far to the brink that you’d rather ignore him than attempt to hash out what’s been troubling you.

“I-I didn’t know that's how you guys saw our friendship,” Wonwoo falters, clearly taken aback, and still attempting to fully comprehend what’s been said to him. 

“It’s not that we see your friendship with her that way, it is that way. If I was her, I would’ve cut you off a long time ago.” 

“Well, thanks, Gyu. I feel like this could’ve been said before she started ignoring me,” Wonwoo huffs, trying to come up with the words to explain his side.

“It was kinda obvious, man,” Mingyu shrugs. 

“Was it, though? If I had known, I would’ve at least tried to be better,” Wonwoo attests, tired of feeling like the bad guy. 

“How about you just talk to her about it instead of sulking,” Mingyu suggests. 

Desperation hijacked his rational thinking, making Mingyu’s advice sound plausible. Talking to you seemed out of the equation since you started ignoring him; he feared you wouldn’t even answer if he tried to call or show up at your door. But he can’t go on like this, especially now that he knows there is more to your friendship than he had initially thought. 

four. 

For the first time in Wonwoo’s life, he’s unsure about what decision to make. Although he wants nothing more than to knock on your door, his feet stop him from even entering your building. So instead of mucking up the courage to talk to you face to face, he waits inside his car. Without a solid plan, he continues to sit there, biding his time. 

Never has he acted so pathetic in his life, not even for the sake of his relationships. He knows that nothing will come from sitting there, just watching, but before he can even comprehend what he is doing and where he is going, he is already across the street from your place. 

Gripping on the leather of his steering wheel, he just couldn’t help himself. He can’t help but watch your silhouette from your window. The curtains are drawn, but there are glimpses of you walking around. He’s such a fucking loser. What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building? 

After all that Mingyu has enlightened him on, Wonwoo’s attitude has become less angry and more apologetic. There was a line he pondered crossing, and it practically mocked him. Stepping over that line would mean getting answers from you, demanding to be brought into the light that you had snuffed out from under him. But his uncertainty of the outcome outweighed his decision to do so.

That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment. There you were in all your glory, the tiny sleep set clinging onto your body as the wind forced its way into the door of your building. Then there was Seokmin, grinning like a fucking idiot as he waved goodbye. 

“Shit!” Wonwoo grunts as he ducks down, not wanting to blow his cover. His car was visible from where the two of you stood, hoping that you weren’t able to recognize it in the dead of night.  

Boring holes into the back of Seokmin’s head, Wonwoo's guilt diminished, floating away with the cold night breeze. You were fine, and he should’ve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin. 

The shape of your figure had faded into the confines of your building. Yet Wonwoo can still make out your body through the glass window of your door. He can’t help but gawk at your skimpy attire, your ass practically on display for the whole world to see. The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokmin’s visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind. 

He’s never been more annoyed at Seokmin in his entire life, not until today. 

Wonwoo allowed himself to ignore the signs, but only for a moment. But this, this he can’t ignore. Not after what he witnessed. He allowed himself to stay ignorant when it came to your silence because he had been so naive to think that it was your decision. Now that he knows Seokmin had somehow weaselled his way closer to you, Wonwoo had to make sure this plan of his didn’t go on any longer. 

…

There is a heat inside Wonwoo that, for some reason, he cannot extinguish. The curve and outlines of your body burn in the back of his retinas. No matter how many times he’s tried to put himself to sleep, the image of you is clear as day in his mind.  Sparks crawl their way up his spine, and he desperately wishes that it would just go away. 

There’s a point where Wonwoo gave up on trying to sleep altogether. Thoughts of you, your body, and the oh-so-painful reminder that you’re still ignoring him. How can he sleep with everything going on? What made things worse, was the fact that the one person he wanted to call most likely wouldn’t pick up.

Wonwoo wasn’t the type of person to let his emotions get the better of him, but this abrupt rift that has been torn between you two has him acting out in ways he’s never acted before. 

The urge to grab his phone, to text you, to give it one more try, grows perpetually every second he lies awake. 

One more time. One more attempt. What does he have to lose? 

Wonwoo stands up, pacing around nonsensically, trying to think of what to say. For all he knows, you may not even answer, but there is the urge to hear your voice one more time and see your name pop up on his screen. Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him. 

[12:52 a.m.]  [wons <3: darling. can we talk? please?]  [not delivered] 

The silence within the four walls of Wonwoo’s bedroom is harrowing. Out of all the outcomes he had considered before he texted you, the outcome of you blocking him was not even on the list. 

Before jumping to some sort of conclusion, Wonwoo’s finger hovers over the call button with skepticism. If you don’t pick up, then that’s it. That would be the definitive answer to all his qualms. 

“The number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,” an automated voice affirmed his suspicions. 

The notification is gut-wrenching, but he can’t just sit here and pretend like it’s okay for you to do this. To decide without any of his input. What kind of friend were you to just drop him like he was nothing but an old toy? How unfair did you have to be to not even try to talk it out before you completely cut him off? 

five. 

Pacing outside the door of your apartment, Wonwoo hasn’t been this nervous in years. He has always been so sure of himself, but it’s almost two in the morning and he’s still continuing to weigh his options. 

It’s either you’ll let him in, and talk for the first time in almost two weeks, or you’ll kick him out before he can step a foot past the door. Desperately, he desires that it be the first option. Losing you over this would break him, and not in the way you would expect. 

He’s already lost his mind. This shouldn’t be the way you two break it off. It won’t be the way you two break it off. Not if Wonwoo has a say in the situation. 

Sweaty palms and white knuckles rasp against the dark oak that barricades himself from you. There’s nothing that Wonwoo wants more than to see your face glowing in front of him. And before he can even get a word out to you, the door whips open. The person on the other side is someone Wonwoo is starting to get really sick of seeing. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison. 

Scoffing, Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his so-called friend, “I think I should be asking you that. You clearly don’t live here.” 

“Minnie? Is someone at the door?” your voice is as sweet as a glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day. 

Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth. 

Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard. 

“Yeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,” Seokmin goads through a sickly sweet smile, eyes never leaving Wonwoo’s. Without as much as a word of mockery, Seokmin’s expression had said more than his words ever could have. 

Despite his soft demeanour, Wonwoo knew there was something vile hiding under Seokmin’s thick skin. 

A rebuttal to his deception is on the tip of Wonwoo’s tongue, but your melodic voice echoes throughout your home once more. The refute dies within his throat, and he hopes you will come out and see what your “neighbour” is looking for. 

“Okay!” is the only response you give out. The reverberation of the water hitting the shower tiles causes Wonwoo’s stomach to practically lurch out his abdomen. 

“Whatever you’re doing, she’s not gonna fall for it,” Wonwoo jeered, staring at Seokmin with looks that should kill, if he could. 

Seokmin chuckles bitterly, “She already has.” 

There was no need for Wonwoo to put two and two together; he already knew what Seokmin was alluding to. It left a dreadful taste in his mouth. 

Puffing out his chest, Wonwoo takes a step closer towards the man he once considered a close friend. Sizing him up, he knew that Seokmin was the reason for the wedge in your friendship. And Wonwoo had no problem treating him as such. 

“You’re fucking sick, you know that?” Wonwoo practically spits in his face. 

“I could say the same thing for you,” Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, “I didn’t have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.” 

“I’m not just going to let you get away with something like this. She’s my best friend.” 

“I think the correct tense is was. She was your best friend,” Seokmin taunted. 

He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didn’t expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture. 

Before a breath could even escape his lips, Seokmin cuts him off, “I think it’s time for you to leave. She doesn’t want to see you.”

The last few words that he heard come out of Seokmin’s mouth nearly fell on deaf ears. It was practically a whisper, laced with enough malice to almost kill the fighting spirit inside him. Almost. 

“By the way, don’t text her anymore. I’ve made sure she won’t get any more notifications from you.” 

The realization had struck Wonwoo hard. He knew you well enough that you wouldn’t just block him so carelessly, without a word no less. Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly. 

…

Lying in wait, Wonwoo observes the door of your building once more. The distinct difference this time was that Wonwoo had no guilt left in him to care. Whether you see him or his car across the street didn’t matter to him anymore. The only thing Wonwoo wanted to make sure of was whether or not Seokmin would be leaving your place. 

After what had felt like hours, he watched the same scene from last night unfold in front of him once more. The abhorrent hug goodbye that is exchanged between you and Seokmin is nothing but a cue for Wonwoo to make his move.

With as much grace as a bull in a china shop, he slams the car door shut, not even bothering to lock it before he stalks his way to your apartment. The anticipation caused the hairs on his neck to stand straight up. As he presses the button to your floor, he can only deliberate whether any of Seokmin’s words hold any truth behind them.

 Certainly not, right? Not after all the years you spent together. His friendship with you couldn’t end on this vague note. You were always the sentimental type, holding onto trinkets, memories, and even people for far too long. It should be the same with Wonwoo; he believed it would be the same. 

If there is a chance, you should allow him to talk and voice his opinion. No, Wonwoo will voice his opinion; there has never been a time when you haven’t let him speak. 

As the elevator ascends to your floor, anxiety begins to weigh down his shoulders. The feeling is atypical and Wonwoo hates how his throat constricts. He hates how his clothes feel too tight and stuffy despite his casual attire. Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on? 

Footsteps echo within the hallway, and with each step he takes, the illusion steadily becomes more vivid. Your front door almost looks like it’ll take a mile before Wonwoo can reach it, rather than a few feet away. 

After what felt like years, Wonwoo stands before the entrance of your home once more. The foreboding tension won’t vanish and it’s starting to make him itch. Without another thought, Wonwoo forces himself to knock on the door knowing it’ll be you who answers this time, not Seokmin. 

“Minnie? Did you leave something agai—,” Abrupt silence engulfs your words, leaving nothing but an echo to resonate within the expanse of your long hallway.

“Wonwoo…” your voice falters, like you genuinely didn’t expect to see him, let alone have him standing outside your door. 

“Did you fuck him?” Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions. 

His blunt words caused a frown to grace your soft pink lips, and Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so frank. But he doesn’t have time to beg for your forgiveness, the anger surmounting to nothing but harsh words and a push past you and into your home. 

“Did you fuck him? Yes or no?”  Wonwoo continues to press you for answers, agitated that you have the audacity to stand there dumbfounded. As if you don’t know who he's talking about. “C’mon, you know who I’m talking about,” he can almost laugh at the situation in front of him. 

How is it that all the rage he built up for Seokmin is being taken out on you? Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps it’s undeserving to do so, but Wonwoo’s frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying. 

“The past two weeks you’ve been ignoring me, spending your time with him, do you know where his true intentions lie?” Wonwoo continues to rant with unpreparedness. 

He didn’t plan what he was going to say because there was a moment of doubt, he had expected you to open the door just to slam it right back in his face. The look you gave him almost brought him to his knees. Your doe-eyed expression could’ve broken down every wall he’s built if only he hadn’t let his anger proceed him. 

Wonwoo should’ve cried, to plead for you to take him back. To go back to the way things were. He knew he fucked up the moment he uttered a single word. The hurt flashed across your face as though Wonwoo turned your world upside down. 

“Seokmin doesn’t care about you, and I’ll tell you that now because you need to hear it. He just wants to fuck you! And you just gave that to him?” He can’t stop talking. 

“Stop. Just stop fucking talking Wonwoo. Do you hear yourself right now?” You cut off his rant. “Out of all people, who gave you the right to tell me who I can and cannot fuck? Especially knowing the type of person that you are. It doesn’t matter if Seokmin and I had sex. What matters is the fact that you think you can barge in here at two-thirty in the morning interrogating me over a situation that doesn’t involve you.” 

“No. I’m just trying to help you. Seokmin isn’t the person that you think he is,” Wonwoo seethes, annoyed at how you’re twisting his words. 

The bile in his throat rose further, as you stood before him like he had just kicked your dog. Wonwoo’s extremely aware of the hole he had dug for himself, but he couldn’t stop. His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense. 

“That is exactly what we’re not going to do right now. Seokmin has been a better friend to me than you have been in all the years we’ve known each other. I have been by your side for years, bending over backwards. I was at your beck and call and I’m tired. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about you. I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didn’t care enough to notice. 

“I gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you. It consumed every part of me to the point I couldn’t even come up for air. And I’m just sick of it. I know there’s a part of you that cares about me too, but it’ll never be equal. I’ll always love you more than you love me, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” 

“What hurts me the most, is that you thought it would be okay to accuse me of things I didn’t even do. I did not sleep with Seokmin, but why is that what you care about?  He respects me and just wants to be there for me. And that’s a lot more than I could ever say about you.” 

Your voice was terrifyingly calm, with neither a lilt nor a hiccup during your speech. The heft of your declaration crashed back down onto Wonwoo, leaving him at a loss for words. 

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing to come out of his mouth after a long pause. 

“Please. It’s late, you should go home,” you sigh, but Wonwoo couldn’t move an inch. He refused. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats himself, looking into your eyes, searching for the look of endearment you had always given him. 

“Wonwoo…” there it is. Your voice had broken for the first time since Wonwoo stepped foot in the place. 

“Please. I’m so fucking sorry. For getting angry, for doubting you, for not realizing how badly you were hurting,” Wonwoo resorted to pleading. 

A look of desperation mixed with agony was the only thing you could exchange for his apologies.

The stare of grief you had given him caused a shooting pain to swell throughout his limbs. The one that begins at his fingertips, creeping up to tug at the strings that held his heart together. He wanted this nightmare to end, and he was sure you did too. 

“It’s time for you to go. I’m tired, Wonwoo.”  A single tear slips and trickles down your cheek. 

He regrets not wiping it away for you at that moment. It was the first time he had been so unsure of his actions. So, instead, he walked out of your apartment, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and a piece of his heart. 

Wonwoo's world was crumbling underneath him, and there was only one person he refused to let go of. He should’ve known.

He should’ve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.

end of act one.

★ SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, service top wonwoo, praise kink, voice kink, first time together, fingering, creampie, ofc they're grossly in love

★ TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jeonghancvunt - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @emmmui - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @coffeestay - @jkbabiey

★ SERIES TAGLIST; @ti--red - @jeonwonhi - @gyusbabydoll - @xiaoting999 - @marksluvr0 - @ohmyhuenings - @downbadreading

P.S. i reserve the right to refuse to add you to my taglist if you don't have any age indicators in your profile :^)

There are a handful of things that a college student can do with their free time. Studying, hanging out with friends, and maybe even picking up a hobby of sorts. You, on the other hand, use up all the hours you’re not spending on your undergrad thesis or sleeping the day away at an animal shelter just a few minutes away from your apartment. 

Your friends constantly wonder how you’re still able to maintain a remarkable GPA with a part-time job that’s starting to look full-time, but you just laugh their questions off for the most part—saying that other people have got it worse than you, but can still perform leagues better academically. 

You also tell them that most of your motivation comes from all the unadopted animals from the shelter. You started as a volunteer just to kill time on weekends when you’re free, but even if you knew better than to get attached to all those adorable faces, you eventually found yourself on the employee roster anyways. 

Now you’re rushing to finish your degree so you can get a neat sugar mommy job that’ll let you afford to adopt everyone that’s been stuck in the shelter for nearly a year or more.

Okay, maybe not everyone because you’re no fool with a savior complex. But just enough to give a few furry friends a new home, right?

“Don’t look now,” your coworker, Mina whispers conspiratorially while you’re in the middle of snacking in the break room, “but that cutie you’ve been crushing on just walked inside. He’s checking out the cats out in the playroom as usual.”

Right. Apart from your altruistic dream of adopting as many animals as your financial capabilities can allow, there’s another reason you’re always looking forward to your shifts at the shelter. A reason that you’re a bit too embarrassed to let your friends know about.

You nearly choke on a potato chip when Mina informs you of the news and she immediately breaks into a fit of laughter. Glaring at her, you compose yourself with a long gulp of water before saying, “I do not have a crush on him.”

“Sure,” she plays along. “If you consider making googly eyes at the guy every time he drops by as ‘not having a crush on him’, then I’ll concur.” 

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t, sweetheart. Now get out there and sweet talk him into taking one of the kittens home! Pretty sure he wants one if he’s been showing up as much as he did for the last two months.” 

While you would’ve argued that the so-called cutie you’ve been crushing on could just like seeing the cats play around in his free time, you don’t really have much energy to play mental gymnastics with Mina. You’ve had a long day of revisions and other nonsense materials you have to submit for your majors, so you’ll let this one slide.

Your workplace is as bleak as every other shelter you’ve seen a few times in your life. Gray walls, concrete floors, and steel cages stacked on top of each other. It looks more like a prison than anything, really, but it’s the staff and those kind-hearted souls who rehome animals that have long been abandoned that give the entire place some life.

While Mister Cutie That You’ve Been Quote-Unquote Crushing On doesn’t exactly fall into either of those categories, you like to think he still leaves the building just a touch more colorful once he walks out of the front door. 

Speaking of color, he’s wearing a loose, dark green shirt that falls just below his elbows. Cutie—as you’ve deigned to call him not because you think he’s cute but because you’re yet to get his name—has one palm flattened across the viewing glass of the playroom. He’s wearing his usual black face mask today, but from the way his eyes glint behind his glasses, you’re just going to assume he’s having a good time just by watching the cats frolic inside.

“You’re here pretty late,” you state nonchalantly before standing a few feet away from him. 

“Is that so strange?” he murmurs with a chuckle, surprisingly not startled with your sudden entrance before glancing your way. “I always show up here at this hour, don’t I?”

God. No matter how many times you hear his voice, you just can’t get over how deep it is. But before any of your thoughts could show on your face, you get talking.

“True. You’ve sparked a debate among the volunteers about your line of work, actually.” Not exactly. You’re not sure if any of the volunteers have even seen this guy, since they mostly work day shifts. “Anyway, are you just here to check ‘em out or am I finally going to hand you the adoption papers?”

His eyes crinkle a bit before he shifts his gaze towards the playroom again. Most of the older cats have already been put back in their respective cages. All that’s left inside are the kittens with way too much energy to spare. The director, A.K.A., your boss, believes that it’s best to tire them out first before settling them into individual enclosures for the night. Keeps the place nice and quiet for the evening shift fellows like yourself.

“Not yet, sadly,” Cutie says with a sigh before pointing at a small black kitten huddled up in a corner. “That one’s new, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve seen him around before.” 

“Her,” you correct. “Her name’s Hani. She’s a stray that someone from the university I’m attending brought in last week. It was pretty ugly, actually. Poor thing got into an accident and was bleeding everywhere. Good thing our usual vet was paying a visit when they came here.”

“Oh? That’s a relief then. No wonder she’s got a little limp every time she walks around,” he observes with a saddened tone. “But I digress. You mentioned you were attending university?”

…Okay, why’d the topic of interest suddenly shift to you? 

But since it’s a harmless enough question, you reply with, “Yeah. The one that’s just a few blocks away. It’s kinda why the person who found Hani brought her here instead of a vet clinic. The nearest one’s like half an hour away.”

“Good call, good call.” He nods with a look of understanding. “I hope someone comes and adopts her. She deserves all the love she can get. Well, everyone here does of course.” 

You flash him a conniving smile, raising your brows a few times. “You could give that to her.”

Cutie shakes his head with another low-pitched laugh. “As much as I’d love to, my…living conditions won’t be suitable for her at all. Or any of the other animals for the matter.”

“Hm?” You stare at him curiously. “Your landlord doesn’t allow pets or something?”

“Mmm… Not exactly.”

The conversation pretty much ends there. Cutie excuses himself—saying that someone is waiting for him at home. You don’t know why your heart deflates a little at the very real possibility that he has a significant other. Then again, if you’re this whipped when you haven’t even seen his face, you could only imagine how easy it would be for him to settle down with someone who has.

Either way, it’s none of your business. And correction: you’re not whipped. Just…hyper aware of his presence every time he stops by.

Despite the fact that you’re dead-set on filing this strange fascination you have for the guy, however…

“Wait!”

Cutie turns around to face you with an inquisitive look. “Yes?”

You swallow thickly, deciding to just bite the bullet before your nerves get the best of you. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Cu—I mean, Glasses Guy in my head whenever you pay us a visit.”

He blinks for a few seconds, obviously nonplussed by your forwardness but you don’t think your pride can take it anymore if you had to refer to him as—

“You can call me Woo,” he says warmly and you can almost see the smile that stretches behind that black face mask.

Shit. Did your heart just stutter?

“Mister Woo—”

“Just Woo is fine.”

“Okay, Woo,” you start, kind of liking the way that something that’s obviously a nickname rolls off the tongue, “just let me know if you ever want to take Hani home. We’re open twenty four-seven, as you already know.”

He nods. “Sure thing. Is it okay if I can get your number for that?”

Now you have to fight the urge to scowl at him after he’s been so nice to you all night—and every other night he’s dropped by. 

This guy isn’t flirting with you. He said it himself—someone’s waiting for him at home. Plus, he’s expressed consistent interest in adopting a kitten for himself a handful of times before. Maybe he just connected with Hani on a level that’s above the others. Enough to ask for your number since the possibility of him bringing one of these angels home is becoming more and more real. 

Yeah, that’s definitely the reason!

So you give it to him—hastily scrawled behind an old flier gathering dust in one of the drawers on the front desk. It’s way too big to write just yours and the shelter’s contact details on, but the other calling cards are nowhere in sight. You’ll have to ask Mina if she’s seen them once—

“Thanks. I’ll keep in touch,” Woo tells you while folding the sheet of paper into a sleek black Louis Vuitton wallet.

Wait a minute.

Before you can even seriously ponder about what job he’s got to be able to afford that, Woo is already out of the door—heading into the evening streets without once looking back. 

“Gosh, I swear that guy’s an idol in disguise or something.”

That’s the first thing that Mina tells you when you find her doing a few rounds among the sleeping dogs in the far back. You haven’t even spoken a single word about your most recent exchange. 

“What makes you think that?” 

“He just exudes idol vibes, y’know? Shows up here when the place is deserted. Always acts subtle and inconspicuous. Oh and not to mention how hot he looks even with a face mask on! He could be that one idol your little sister is crazy about.” 

You roll your eyes at her odd ways of deduction. “Mina, I’ve seen enough of Haewon’s Mingyu merch to last a lifetime and Woo definitely does not look like him.”

“Oh?” Your coworker perks up with a mischievous smile. “You finally got his name, huh?”

God. This is going to be a long shift.

The next time you see Woo is, surprisingly, not at an ungodly hour in the shelter. 

Well, it’s still at an ungodly hour, but the change in venue is a little baffling. You were up all night studying (read: cramming) for a major exam that you’ll take at eight in the morning the next day. When you were finally at your wit’s end, you decidedly hauled yourself away from your laptop and fluttered off to the only twenty four-hour coffee shop in the neighborhood. 

You don’t usually frequent this place because you’ve tasted their shitty americanos firsthand, but you’re not in the mood to grind some beans yourself and you’re much too stubborn to drink anything instant—convinced the powdered concoction would only make you sleepier.

So here you are, in line for an espresso because you’ve decided to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe not everything on the menu tastes less than it’s worth. With how many other students are pulling all-nighters here, that should be testament enough that they tolerate the place’s drinks enough to linger. 

But, to your horror, when you’re right in front of the graveyard shift barista, he informs you that wireless payments have been temporarily disabled and that they’re only accepting cash up front. You make a show of patting down the pockets of your hoodie to check for your wallet even if you know damn well that you left it back at your apartment on purpose. Just when you’re about to resign yourself to buying shitty instant coffee at a Seven Eleven instead, the person behind you in line clears his throat. 

“Uh, I can pay for her drink.” 

You don’t think you’ve ever whipped your head around to check for a person’s identity faster than you did at that moment. It’s not that you’re particularly obsessed with the low timber of his voice or anything, but you’d recognize the way the shelter’s late night regular speaks in a goddamn heartbeat.

“Woo?” you scowl as he maneuvers himself to the front of the line, bringing out that same Louis Vuitton wallet you were ogling the last time you saw him. 

He pulls out a few banknotes and places them on top of the counter with what you think is a smile behind his mask. “Couple that with four iced americanos please.”

You purposely hold your tongue about your personal vendetta against that particular drink as the barista nods, punching in Woo’s order and asking for a name. Just when you thought he’d say the same one he’d given when you’d asked, however—

“Soonyoung. Oh, and I’ll get those drinks to go, please.” 

Your gaze is on him the entire time as the two of you shuffle to the end of the counter to wait for your drinks. Woo is doing a pretty okay job at playing it cool despite the fact that he lied about the names on his orders. Or maybe he lied when he told you his name was Woo. 

Either way, does it matter? It’s not strange for people to make up fake names for baristas to write on their coffees—Mina does it all the time. But something about the idea that the man standing in front of you doesn’t look like a Soonyoung bothers you more than it should. It makes you wonder what his actual name is and if it’s weird to ask when he already gave you one to address him with—

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” he suddenly says and you nearly have a heart attack.

“Uh,” you start somewhat dumbly, before finally getting a hold of your brain. “I live around the area. Thought I could use a drink if I didn’t want to sleep through my lecture notes.”

He lets out a low chuckle and at that moment, you let yourself observe him a little more closely. His hair is hidden behind a black beanie which he expertly paired with an equally black parka that’s zipped up all the way. He’s wearing a different pair of glasses today—one with thick, black frames—and you’re starting to get an idea of what his favorite color might be.

“Is that why I haven’t seen you at the shelter these days?” he wonders. “Every time I dropped by last week, you weren’t on shift.”

Oh. Shit, he’s been visiting still? And he was looking for you?

“Yup, I needed to take a few days off because if I wanna graduate, I’ve got to keep myself from failing any of my majors,” you explain as briefly as you can—not wanting to go into detail about GPA requirements and your thesis. “How about you? Why’re you out and about at this hour, Soonyoung?”

It’s kind of adorable, how the tips of his ears flush pink at your words. “Soonyoung’s one of my friends. I actually went out tonight because I lost a bet and had to buy four of us coffee.”

You’re not sure how and why you feel a wave of relief wash over you, so instead, you brush the feeling aside before leaning against the counter. “Lost a bet about what, pray tell?”

Woo is quiet for a while, as if contemplating if he should unveil his losses to someone who’s virtually still a stranger before letting out a defeated sigh.

“Mario Kart.”

The snort you let out draws a few curious stares from other customers sitting near the counter and you force out an apology that’s underscored with a hiccup of laughter. Woo doesn’t seem at all offended by your reaction though. In fact, he seems even amused by it.

Not ten seconds later, the barista calls out his—rather, Soonyoung’s name and he hands you your drink while he carries a takeout package in his other hand. You try not to think too much about the way his fingers brush against yours when he gives it to you, thanking him despite the obvious redness settling across your cheeks.

“I actually meant to text you last week but I didn’t know if you were comfortable with it,” Woo admits as he opens the door to the coffee shop for you—thanking him as you step out of the air conditioned space and into the humid evening air. “I wanted to ask about the adoption requirements at the shelter.”

Part of you is a little skeptical about his explanation because… If he’s been dropping by your workplace as often as he claimed last week, then he could’ve just asked the other staff about the details. Why wait until he meets you again to bring it up? 

But of course, you’re way too polite to ask that to his face.

“I don’t mind you texting me about that or…anything, really,” you say, turning up the flap on the lid of your espresso before taking a small sip. Bearable. “It’s not like I’m too busy to respond to you. Well, I kinda am, but I can spare a few minutes.”

Woo nods with a soft laugh. “Okay. I’ll just get into detail via text later. I gotta bring these coffees back or they’ll chew me out for the rest of the night for being late. Oh, but do you need someone to walk home with you?”

The idea of having your not-work crush escorting you home flusters you more than it should and when you take another sip of your drink, it nearly goes down the wrong hole. Woo pats your back in comforting fashion when you sputter from your coffee, tears stinging your eyes as you attempt to breathe like a normal person. Fuck, you must look so fucking weird right now.

“I-I, um, sorry about that.” You cough into your fist, laughing uneasily as you grip your drink a little too tightly. “No, it’s fine. I only live a few blocks away.”

Now that you mention it, does that mean Woo is the same? If he’s out here in this specific neighborhood at this specific hour, that would only mean he lives in the area, or is at least staying for the meantime, right? But before you could get swept up by your own curiosity, you immediately sweep any and all ideas under the rug.

“Oh, that’s—that’s good to know.”

He sounds disappointed. Why does he sound disappointed?

“So I guess this is goodbye? ” you start. 

Woo nods briskly. “Yup. I’ll keep in touch.”

You chuckle. “That’s what you said last time.”

Whoa. Were you propositioning him or something? Sometimes, it baffles you how one minute, you’re choking on a cup of coffee—several shades embarrassed—and the next, you’re practically daring him to text you like he said he would.

“And I’ll make good on that as soon as time permits.” Woo shakes his head with a laugh. “It was nice seeing you again, though. Good luck with your exams.”

You can’t help the way your cheeks heat up yet again at the thought of him having remembered that you mentioned your exams. “Thanks. I think I need all the luck I can get.”

When Woo turns to look at you through those thick-rimmed glasses, you almost wish you could see the smile that’s undoubtedly spreading behind that pesky mask of his. 

“I’ll be happy to give it to you every time then.”

Today was probably the shittiest day of the week.

Not only did you spectacularly flunk the exam you took this morning whilst running on less than two hours of sleep, but your thesis adviser emailed you about several concerns regarding the latest version of your manuscript. Needless to say, you spent a good chunk of your day holed up in the university library, consulting new reference materials to back up your data since the ones you used were much too outdated for your adviser’s liking. 

It should’ve been something you’d consider a walk in the park, given the many revisions that have preceded this one, but it just so happens that you’ve got three more exams to worry about for the remainder of the week. Meaning, you had to squeeze in a few minutes of studying in between editing your newest draft and telling yourself that maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if you got held back for one semester before graduating. 

You’ve been so caught up with your piling academic responsibilities that you’ve barely looked at your phone. You only deigned to dig it out of the deepest pit of your backpack when you got a little hungry and wondered if they still let food delivery guys past the school gates. To your surprise, you’re greeted with a few text messages that you immediately feel horrible for not replying to the moment they were delivered. 

Unknown Number [10:45]: So about those adoption requirements…

Unknown Number [11:33]: Oh. Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. It’s Woo.

Ignoring the fact that you’re obviously famished, you hastily type in a response after marking down Woo’s number with a black cat emoji right next to his name. It takes a moment because you’re so shaky, you end up suffering from a few typos here and there.

Me [13:10]: hey! sorry i was a bit busy and i just saw these…

Me [13:10]: what do you wanna know? i’m on a self-imposed lunch break rn

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:15]: No worries, I figured you got a long day ahead. Hope lunch is good at least.

Me [13:16]: actually, i haven’t ordered anything yet ‘cause time got away from me but Anyways

Me [13:16]: you wanted details abt the adoption process?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:18]: What? You haven't eaten yet?

Me [13:18]: yeah, but it’s no big deal. i could just have some food delivered.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:19]: Well, I’m out right now. I could just buy some food for you and drop it off. 

Your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets when you read each word of Woo’s text message. Is he being serious right now? The guy just paid for your coffee last night—a coffee that you forgot to pay back because of how surprising the circumstances were. Now he’s offering to buy you lunch?

Me [13:20]: you really don’t have to, i swear!! i’ve still got a few discount vouchers in baenim

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:22]: I insist. I’ve got my bike with me anyway.

Me [13:22]: bike? like, a bicycle?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:23]: Mmm. Close. Anyway, what food do you want? 

Now what the hell does that mean?

Part of you feels like you should be freaked out with how…kind he’s being to you. The world is full of weirdos who play the nice guy just to do something despicable to you in the end. Yet another part of you—a less reasonable one, admittedly—insists that Woo is nothing like that, despite the fact that you barely know the guy. 

Then again, you’re tired, stressed out, and barely slept a wink last night. If the hot guy you’ve been quote-unquote crushing on is offering to buy you food, where’s the harm in accepting?

Me [13:25]: fine. i could use some yangnyeom chicken and tteokbokki. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:26]: Nice. I know a good place. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:27]: I’ll head out in a few, so just text me the address.

Right after sending your university’s pin location to Woo, you start to consider the chance of him being some sort of serial stalker. Could he be biding his time, trying to let your guard down and easing personal information out of you so he could do something nefarious when he gets you alone? Fuck. Maybe it’s a good idea you didn’t let him walk you home yesterday…

But despite the very real possibility of Woo being someone with bad intentions regardless of how nice he is, you see no problem in meeting him at the school gates when he arrives with your food. In fact, you don’t even feel apprehensive of him in spite of all the ideas you conjured in your head over the past hour.  

Me [14:15]: where are you?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [14:16]: Parked by the curb in front of a bookstore. You can’t miss me.

 Me [14:16]: i don’t even know what you Look like today, genius

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [14:17]: I told you, I’ve got my bike with me. I don’t see anyone else looking the same way within a twenty meter radius. 

You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes. For someone you deemed as ‘nice’, he can get pretty mouthy if he wants to. 

You head to the general direction of the bookstore that Woo was talking about as you try to ignore your growling stomach. Given that the lunch rush is more or less over, the usual crowd of pedestrians has considerably thinned out and it makes it easier for you to scan the vicinity for any bike-wielding impromptu delivery guys. 

However, the only person that does stand out to you is some dude wearing a black leather jacket, chilling next to an expensive looking motorcycle as he taps away on his phone with a matching pair of leather gloves and everything. His face is obscured by a black helmet and you would’ve let your gaze go past him had it not been for a sudden realization that hits you right there.

Bike? Like, a bicycle?

Mmm. Close.

“Woo!” 

Of course the leather jacket-clad, expensive motorcycle-wielding man looks up at the sound of his name being called from across the street. The visor of his helmet is drawn all the way up and you could see that he isn’t wearing his glasses for good reason. He seems to perk up at the sight of you before grabbing something from the trunk of his motorcycle and jogging to meet you where you stood.

You’ve seen him sporting a spectrum of comfortable outfits during his late night visits, but this is the first time you’ve witnessed Woo looking as dapper as he is now.

“Late lunch delivery?” 

You don’t even try to hide the way you roll your eyes as you accept the paper bag he hands to you. “Thanks. How much do I owe you now? You already got me coffee and now lunch.”

He shakes his head and you find it a little ridiculous, considering he’s still wearing that huge helmet of his. “It’s on me. It’s the least I could do to repay you for being so accommodating.”

“Woo, I haven’t done shit for you ‘cause you’re yet to properly talk to me about the adoption process. What on earth are you talking about?” 

“But you will do shit for me when we do talk about it. I’m just repaying the favor in advance,” he rebuts cheekily before pulling back the sleeve of his jacket to check for the time. “Though as much as I want to do that now, I need to catch a flight in a few hours.”

That makes your expression morph into disbelief. “You need to catch a what?”

“A flight. Gotta head to Japan for a few days,” Woo tells you nonchalantly, as if heading to Japan for a few days is something people do on a regular basis. “Can you make sure no one else takes Hani home before I can settle everything on my end?”

You tell yourself that you’ve got time to mull over what this guy does for a living some other time. Clearing your throat, you manage an awkward smile. “Um, yeah, sure thing. You’re really attached to her, aren’t you?” 

“You can say that again,” he laughs softly. “She kinda reminds me of myself from a long time ago… But anyway, I’ve gotta go. Tell me what you think about the chicken when you’re done with it?”

You nod. “I’ll be as brutally honest with my review as possible.”

“Just the way I like it,” Woo replies, eyes crinkling with amusement.

When you head back to the library, the person you were sharing a table with looked after your stuff for you while you were gone. You thank her profusely before settling back into your seat, grabbing the takeout packages from the paper bag that Woo personally delivered to you. 

Before you can start wolfing down the delectable-smelling chicken he brought, however, you notice a cute sticky note plastered on the lid—a doodle of a cat with glasses and a speech bubble that says you can do it~ scribbled on the corner.

Don’t overwork yourself. It’s been ages since my last exam, but I know how hard it can be. Make sure to eat properly so you can absorb all the info you need.

When your head bangs against one of the many wooden tables in the library, the person seated at the far end stares at you with a concerned look. You can’t muster the energy to assure her that everything’s alright, though because…

That quote-unquote crush of yours? 

It’s starting to become a little too real.

You’re in the middle of throwing out old files from the back room archive when Mina peeks her head into the doorway and says, “You’ve got a visitor again.”

One glance at the old wall clock hung above the steel cabinets tells you that it’s midnight, but you know for one that this mystery visitor isn’t Woo this time around. 

You’ve been keeping in touch with him through Kakao, since you can’t exactly afford to send international text messages to Japan and your new friend(?) has been keeping you posted about his shenanigans for the past week. He hasn’t replied to your last message from over three hours ago and you’re not so delusional to think he got on a plane back to Korea and is suddenly here to surprise you.

When you see who it is, though, your heart warms just a little.

“Why haven’t you been texting me back?” Haewon, your sister who’s two years younger, gets up from the seats lined up across the walls of the lobby. “I missed you!” 

You shake your head before pulling her into a hug. “I missed you, she says. But you’re really just looking for someone to show you around the city again, aren’t you?”

“Hey, missing you and needing a chaperone aren’t mutually exclusive,” she huffs and you notice that she’s in full fangirl gear again—a lightstick hanging off a strap slung across her shoulder, a windbreaker with her favorite boyband’s logo sewn on the front pocket, and of course, a photocard of Mingyu dangling from her little handbag.

Despite the fact that she’s also in college, Haewon chose to stay in your hometown in Jeju to pursue her studies there instead. The first few months since you left were the hardest—so unused to not having your little sister go on and on and on about how much she loves SEVENTEEN. But you’ve also come to appreciate the peace and quiet that living alone in Seoul affords you. 

Besides, with how much money she’s raised for being one of the more well-known event organizers in her fandom, Haewon can pretty much come visit you in Seoul whenever she feels like it. 

“I’m guessing your thirteen boyfriends have a thing going on?” you ask before glancing over at the playroom to make sure there aren’t any kittens left inside. 

Haewon nods enthusiastically. “Yup, they’re having a mini fanmeet outside their company building in a few days—”

“In a few days?” you parrot before gesturing for her to follow you in the break room so you can get changed. “What’re you doing out here all dressed up then?”

Your little sister rolls her eyes. “Unnie, I’m not some weirdo who wears their merch on a regular night for no reason. I came from this little cupsleeve event for Wonwoo’s birthday. Things ran a little late because we had to help clean up at the café.” 

While you’re not well-versed in fandom jargon, you have learned a few terms from Haewon here and there. Plus, she already took you to a cupsleeve event for another member’s birthday once. You’re not really sure who it was because the only one you do consistently remember is Mingyu—your sister’s ultimate bias, apparently. 

“What made you stop by then?” you wonder as you exchanged your work uniform for a loose shirt. “You didn’t tell me you were coming in advance. I could’ve fetched you from the airport.”

“I did tell you in advance.” She pouts. “But you said you were busy working on your manuscript when I did, so it must’ve slipped your mind.”

Oh. Okay, now you feel bad. “Sorry. I’ll make it up to you this weekend with dinner?” 

Haewon whines. “Unnie, their fanmeet is on Saturday and I leave on Sunday.”

“So? How long is that going to be anyway?”

“Uh, all day?”

You sigh. “Fine. How about you crash in my place tonight and we can rewatch Hometown Cha Cha Cha while stuffing our faces with ramen?”

“Deal.”

After timing out for the evening, you say goodbye to Mina, who’s just waiting up for your other coworkers who’ll cover the next shift. Haewon talks your ear off about what happened in the event she attended as you both walked back to your apartment and, while only some of the things she’s saying makes sense to you, it’s nice to be in your little sister’s company again. 

“Oh, by the way, here.”

You stare at her curiously as she rummages through her bag, handing you a photocard enclosed in a dainty-looking toploader. 

“What’s this for?” you ask. 

“You told me back then that Wonwoo was your type,” Haewon explains with a grin. “So I did my best in one of the parlor games and won that extremely in-demand photocard just for you.”

You scan the piece of idol merchandise in your hands for a few minutes more—staring at Wonwoo’s face as if waiting for him to speak. You never really understood the appeal of collecting photocards. As long as it makes Haewon happy, you won’t bat an eyelash.

But now she’s giving you one to keep for yourself and the more you stare at the idol printed on the sturdy paper, the more you think that you’ve seen him somewhere.

Then again, Haewon has been talking about these boys since they debuted years ago. The familiarity must’ve stemmed from those numerous fancams and music show performances that she forced you to sit down and watch with her. 

“You better take care of him, okay?” Haewon pouts. “If I see him suddenly being sold for a high price, I’m never going to let you live it down.”

“I barely know how the market for this works, so you don’t have to worry about that,” you chuckle before carefully sliding the toploader inside your own bag. “So what ramen are we eating? Shin Ramyun or something else?”

Me [21:17]: btw, when are you coming back again? 

Me [21:20]: someone was asking about hani earlier and i feel like you’ve gotta come back here to assert your dominance.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:35]: Shit, sorry. I forgot about the time.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:35]: My friends and I had a birthday celebration at the izakaya near our hotel. It’s been a while since we got to unwind like this.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:36]: Anyway, who’s the funny guy who thought he could have my cat?

Me [02:38]: wow. YOUR cat? 🤨🤨🤨

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:40]: You’re still awake?

Me [02:40]: yeah, my little sister is in seoul and we’re binging our favorite drama

Me [02:41]: how about you? why are You still awake?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:45]: Taking care of drunk friends. Remember Soonyoung?

Me [02:45]: what about him?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:47]: Pleading for forgiveness in the toilet while he retches his guts out.

Me [02:47]: huh. some birthday party. who’s the celebrant anyway?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:47]: Me.

“Whoa. You okay?” Haewon asks when you suddenly lurch forward on the couch, choking on the ramen you were in the middle of slurping. 

You thank your sister when she offers you a glass of water and you gulp it down to soothe the burning sensation in your throat. “It’s fine. I just received a surprising text is all.”

“From a boyfriend?” she teases.

You scowl. “No. From a friend. Just a friend.”

“Boo. But you’ll tell me once you land yourself your very own Hong Dusik, right?”

The look on your face only worsens at the reference she’s made to the drama that’s still playing on screen. “I’d actually rather die than have someone like Dusik as a boyfriend. If the whole enemies to lovers thing works with Hyejin, it really won't with me.”

“True, you’ve always been a mellow lover,” Haewon agrees and you roll your eyes. “That’s why Wonwoo would be perfect for you~”

“I think me landing a Hong Dusik-esque boyfriend is more likely than me getting together with a world famous idol but okay.”

You’re momentarily distracted from your conversation when your phone vibrates in your lap again, and— Fuck. 

You forgot to reply to Woo.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:55]: Fell asleep on me already?

Me [02:56]: no, no. sorry. my sister was just talking to me. 

Me [02:56]: anyway, it’s your BIRTHDAY?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:57]: Hahaha, yes. It’s been a while since I could sit down and actually celebrate it with my friends. 

Me [02:58]: is that why you went all the way to japan? for a little birthday getaway?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:58]: Hm… something like that 

Me [03:00]: i’ll give you hani’s adoption papers as a gift

Me [03:01]: that or you let ME treat YOU to something nice for a change

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:05]: Well, I’ll be back in Korea this Saturday, but won’t be free until late at night.

Me [03:05]: back to regular programming, huh?

Me [03:06]: we can celebrate later if you’re busy, you know. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:07]: It’s okay. I wanted to spend time with you anyways.

“You sure that’s just a friend you’re talking to?” Haewon asks with an unimpressed stare as you choke on your instant noodles for the second time. “The only way I’d react like that to a text is if my friend told me one of our professors is fucking his TA despite being married. If that’s the case, you gotta let me in on the juicy details.”

You make a face at her. “Isn’t that way too specific?”

“Isn’t that way too specific?” Haewon mocks. “Whatever you’ve got going on with this friend of yours, promise I’ll be the first to know once you make it official?”

“Haewon!”

For the sake of your own sanity, you only reply to Woo’s message once you’re tucked in bed and Haewon is comfortably dozing on the couch in the living room. She’s a heavy sleeper that passes out quickly after a long day, so you don’t feel particularly worried about your little sister barging into your room when you type out a response.

Me [03:43]: gotcha. just meet me at the shelter after your thing. 

Me [03:45]: happy birthday, woo.

You don’t wait for him to type out a reply anymore—eyes drooping into slumber as you let the screen of your phone fade into sleep mode. 

Unbeknownst to you, a man who just finished putting his intoxicated friends to bed an ocean away stares at your chat history with a fond smile, heart racing just a few beats faster at the prospect of what awaits him at home.

You’re just about done cleaning up the big dog kennels when Woo drops by on a bright Saturday morning. 

The sound of his deep ‘hello’ nearly made you drop all the cleaning utensils you were about to put away. When you turn around to confirm that the shelter’s nighttime regular has indeed switched things up and decided to visit during daylight hours, you’re too busy scowling at him to mind the fact that you’re all gross and sweaty from all the hard labor. 

Sure, you texted him about taking up a day shift today, but you definitely didn’t expect him to visit when he just got back to Korea a few hours ago. 

Surprisingly, Woo isn’t donned in all black this time around. He’s wearing a gray pullover with some muddled text you can’t quite read with the hood pulled all the way up, concealing the white cap resting on top of his head. Of course, his signature face mask is still in between you and his no doubt handsome countenance, but you’ll take what you can get.

“What’re you doing here?” you ask, a bit breathless before you notice that takeout bag he’s setting down on one of the empty tables. “I thought you’re not gonna be free until tonight.”

“Thought you could use another lunch fix,” he says nonchalantly. “Well that and I wanted to personally give you some cool trinkets from Japan.”

The sentiment makes your heart stir a little, but you end up voicing out a dry laugh before stuffing the shelter’s cleaning paraphernalia inside the broom closet. “Keep doing all these nice things and I’ll start thinking you’re in love with me.”

Woo laughs but does absolutely nothing to deny the allegations.

“Here.” Your brows arch a little when he fishes something from the pocket of his hoodie, handing it to you. “I wasn’t sure which one you’d like so I just got all of them.”

You’re a bit reluctant to receive his gift in your current state—dirty hands, dirty clothes, dirty everything—but Woo doesn’t seem to mind when he drops a small plastic package full of…

“Kitties!” You coo out loud at the assortment of colorful enamel pins inside before gawking at him. “Seriously, Woo, you’re way too nice to me. I’m starting to feel indebted.”

He shakes his head with an adorable laugh. “It’s nothing. I swear. They just reminded me of you when my friends and I passed this one booth at a festival.”

Shit. They reminded him of you?

“So are you finally going to sit down and talk to me about adopting Hani or are you gonna keep skirting around again, mister?” You place a hand on your hip, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction as you tuck his gift safely in the back pocket of your jeans.

“Surprise, I actually came here to do just that. I still have an hour free before I have to go to work,” Woo admits and him mentioning work taps in on your innate curiosity about what he does for a living. “But your coworker said something about rounding up the dogs and putting them back in the kennel?”

Oh. Shit. 

As if on cue, Mina—along with a few on shift volunteers—emerge down the hall, all of their hands gripping several leashes as an army of dogs fills the hallway with excited and agitated barking alike. 

“Are we good to go?” Mina yells over the noise.

Trying not to look too disappointed that your time with Woo has been cut short, you give Mina a thumbs up before striding off to meet them halfway. You take it upon yourself to take a few of the dogs off one of the volunteers’ hands and he looks at you with withering relief when you do. 

“Yep. Everything’s as fresh as a daisy now,” you inform them. “Hope these guys didn’t make too big of a mess up in the front though. That would mean Kino’s turn for cleaning duty came a little early.”

“Hey!” The volunteer in question complains. “I’ve got a date later, noona. Don’t go saying weird stuff like that.”

You’re just about to tease him a little more but you suddenly feel the force of a couple of former strays tugging you forward disappear. That’s when you notice that Woo made his way to your side, guiding the dogs silently as he helps lead the first of them to the kennel.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” you insist but your friend(?) merely shakes his head. 

“It’s no big deal,” Woo reassures.

It doesn’t help that this particular hallway is a little cramped. You’re practically standing arm to arm as you all make it to the end. You can practically smell the expensive cologne wafting from his clothes amidst the scent of dog fur that’s starting to permeate the air. When Woo lets out another soft laugh when one of the dogs he has on a leash licks his hand, you know it’s over for you.

It takes about half an hour to settle all fifteen big dogs into their respective cages and by the time it’s over, you’re convinced that you need a shower now more than ever. As Mina and the rest of the volunteers head back to the reception room, you decide to take a break and help yourself to the takeout that Woo personally delivered yet again.

“Thanks for your help. Cleaning day is really one of the toughest days of the month. Especially when we have to clean up the big dog kennels,” you sigh before plopping into an empty seat in the break room. 

“Don’t mention it,” he says and you find yourself imagining a smile behind his mask yet again. “I actually have a dog at home, too, so I would now. But she’s definitely more tame than these guys.”

That makes you pause. “Is that why you’re beating around the bush so much about adopting Hani? You think she won’t get along with your dog?”

He hums a little before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “That’s one of the reasons, yes.”

“Well, you won’t know unless you try,” you huff as you unseal the takeout package—the delectable scent of yangnyeom chicken pervading your senses. “Anyway, you’re going to sign the papers this time, right? Right?”

You have a feeling that you’ve finally got him cornered, but before Woo can even formulate a response, a ringtone that definitely isn’t yours starts going off inside the break room. 

Your friend(????) answers it with a wistful sigh. 

It’s so quiet that you can vaguely make out the voice at the other end of the line saying, “Hyung. Everyone’s looking for you. Where are you?”

You try not to stare at Woo as he takes the call out of pure decency—distracting yourself with your food. But you can’t help but listen in when their conversation is the only thing you can hear at the moment. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Tell everyone I’m sorry for the hold up, Mingyu.” 

The moment that name leaves Woo’s mouth, you freeze mid-chew. Did he say Mingyu? Like…the idol that Haewon is downright obsessed with? No… It was probably just someone with the same name. It is pretty common, after all.

When he ends the call, you flash him a tight-lipped smile that manages to conceal your momentary surprise. “Rain check?”

“Rain check,” Woo sighs in agreement. 

You nod. “It’s okay. The more you keep delaying Hani’s adoption, the more presents I get from you.”

“And you’re absolutely right about that,” he humors you before reaching out to ruffle your hair. You haven’t even recovered from that little gesture he just did when he asks, “Hope our plans for later are still up though?”

Woo must’ve caught the look on your face with the way he retracts the hand that was just on top of your head to snicker into his palm. “Don’t tell me you forgot. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday, remember?”

Curse you and your habit of making plans at ass o’clock in the morning. You always forget them!

“Uh, it kinda slipped my mind?” you admit sheepishly as you pick at your food. “I ended up going for a day shift ‘cause I have to see my sister off at the airport tomorrow.” 

He nods in earnest and it kind of makes you feel bad about your short term memory. “It’s alright. I’ll just drop by some other time to get the paperwork over with. I’ve disturbed you enough as it is.”

“No, it’s fine!”

Your sudden outburst makes Woo look up at you with a confused stare. “Hm?”

“I-I can still meet up with you later,” you stammer and you have to force yourself not to bury your face in your hands out of sheer embarrassment. Pull yourself together, damn. “If you’re not too tired from your plans for the day, of course.”

He mentioned something about having to go to work, and while you can’t imagine what sort of work has to be urgently done on a Saturday, you’ll still respect his time. 

Woo blinks for a few seconds, as if still digesting what you just said before his eyes disappear behind his glasses with a soft chuckle. Your brows cinch together, not getting what’s so funny. 

“Noted. I’ll come pick you up here later, still? If you’re not comfortable with sharing your address with me yet.” 

He’s so thoughtful, you might actually give him all your personal details at this point. But at the end of the day you’re actually a person with a head full of common sense, so you answer him with, “Sure thing. Thanks for going out of your way to come hang out despite how busy you are.”

“No, thank you for always putting up with me,” Woo insists with a shake of his head. “I swear I’m not hassling you with this whole adoption thing on purpose. There’s just…a lot of things to consider on my end. I hope you understand.”

You wave away his concerns with a laugh. “Just keep getting me more of this chicken and we’ll call it quits.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

When Woo sees himself out of the break room, you fumble for the plastic package in the back of your jeans—taking one of the adorable black cat enamels before pinning it in the front pocket of your uniform. You can’t help the smile that creeps up your face when you see your reflection on the small mirror sitting on the table. 

How could you be this down bad for someone whose entire face you’ve never even seen before? 

Haewon 🪷 [17:20]: Are you suuure you don’t wanna come to the fan meet?

Haewon 🪷 [17:21]: I’ve still got a few extra passes :3c you’d get to see wonwoo in the flesh!

Me  [17:30]: why do you want to set me up with wonwoo so badly 

Haewon 🪷 [17:31]: Bc we’re sisters? And it’d be cool if we stanned MinWon together?

Me  [17:32]: …not even gonna ask you to elaborate on that

Haewon 🪷 [18:00]: Unnie ㅠㅠ

Me [18:00]: why? what’s wrong, hae?

Haewon 🪷[ 18:05]: Mingyu looks sooooo much better than I remember

Haewon 🪷[18:06]: The girlfriend allegations must be true

Haewon 🪷 [18:06]: Only a man in love can smile like that!

Me [18:07]: or: a man who relies on fanservice to get paid?

Haewon 🪷[ 18:08]: RUDE!!!!

Haewon 🪷 [18:08]: Here’s a pic of Wonwoo to shut you up

Haewon 🪷 [18:09]: [Sent an attachment]

Me [18:10]: idk if i should find the fact that you think some kpop guy affects me in any capacity amusing or concerning

Haewon 🪷 [18:11]: !!!! Take that back wtf?? Wonwoo isn’t just ‘some kpop guy’?????

Me [18:10]: sure he isn’t.

Haewon 🪷 [19:45]: Good news!!

Me [19:45]: you’re finally going to get off my back about the whole wonwoo thing?

Haewon 🪷 [19:46]: No ^_^ My Monday final got canceled so I can stay in Seoul for a day more!

Haewon 🪷 [19:46]: Aka you don’t have to wake up early to drag your ass to the airport w me

Me [19:47]: oh. that’s cool. what’re your plans for tomorrow then?

Haewon 🪷 [19:48]: Gonna attend the pre-recording for a music show :3

Me [19:50]: …Haewon i swear to god if you ask me to do what you’re about to ask me to do

Haewon 🪷 [19:50]: Come with me pretty pleaaaase?

Haewon 🪷 [19:51]: I’m using my adorable dongsaeng powers to get you to agree

Me [19:55]: there’s no talking my way out of this, is there?

Haewon 🪷 [19:55]: Nope <3

Me [19:56]: fine. just text me the details. i need to go out soon. 

Haewon 🪷 [19:56]: HEHE have fun !!

You weren’t lying when you texted Haewon that you had to go out soon. You agreed that you’d meet up with Woo for his post-birthday celebration at 9 P.M. Hell, you even called a local bakery to have a personalized cake made for pick-up before you head over to the rendezvous point. Everything was already set right from the start.

But then you ended up falling asleep while scrolling through Twitter and now the clock reads 10:45 P.M., and you’re rushing to pull on a ratty sweater instead of the cute outfit you planned for the night as you rush out of your apartment.

Me [10:47]: FUCK IM SORRY

Me [10:47]: i was SUPPOSED to take a five minute nap but i didn’t realize how tired i was

Me [10:48]: are you still up to hang out? i totally get it if not though.

You immediately stuff your phone in the pocket of your jeans—not even bothering to glance at Woo’s reply when it vibrates with a text notification. Your conscience is much too guild-ridden to read any sort of reassurance he’d undoubtedly give to you despite how long you’ve made him wait. 

Two hours, jeez. You’d be furious if someone was that late on you.

When you arrive at the shelter after doing a couple of quick detours, you’re panting like you just won first place in a marathon. Needless to say, it’s a pitiful sight to behold when Woo is leaning across his motorcycle—looking much too attractive in that stupid leather jacket of his. 

“Is this what the kids call fashionably late these days?” he chuckles.

If you weren’t so apologetic, you would’ve rolled your eyes so instead, you give him a crumpled paper bag with a smile that borders on overcompensating.

“Happy birthday?”

Woo looks like he was just about to say something until a quiet mewl interrupts him midway. You gaze at him with a puzzled look until he stifles a soft laugh, pulling the lapel of his jacket open to reveal—

“Hani?” You scowl.

The black kitten is tucked away snugly in the inner pocket of Woo’s jacket—nearly blending in with the leather. It’s almost as if two pairs of big yellow eyes are staring at you from a void. 

“Finally got the papers over with when you fell asleep on me,” Woo chuckles before scratching behind her ears. “So I guess it wasn’t so bad that you made me wait for two hours.” 

“Hey, I said I was sorry!”

“Yes, and I heard you,” he insists before peering inside the paper bag you gave him. “What’s this?”

“No peeking until we get to your good old thinking spot,” you scold, smacking his hand away. 

A hand that you just noticed is also clad in a leather glove. 

He shakes his head playfully before putting his arms up in surrender. “For someone who’s two hours late, you’re pretty demanding.”

“Woo!”

During his last few days in Japan, Woo told you about his favorite thinking spot that’s specifically located beneath Hannam Bridge. There’s an old watchtower that was built before the bridge even existed. I go there when I want to clear my head. 

When he said he wanted to bring you there for his belated birthday bash, the ghastly possibility of him turning out to be a serial killer luring you to your doom crossed your mind for half a second before you ended up agreeing anyway.

Now here you are, drowning in the musk of his cologne as you press your cheek against the fabric of his jacket. He’s definitely going past the speed limit with how sharply the wind sings in your ears, but instead of complaining about it, you tighten your arms around his torso—letting the warmth of his body seep into yours. 

“It’s not so scary if you don’t think about it too much,” you hear him shout from the front. “Look to your right! This is why I’ve always liked doing late night rides!”

Easy for him to say. He’s brave enough to harbor a kitten inside his jacket and a person who’s never ridden a motorcycle before at a hundred kilometers per hour! But despite how terrified you are of falling off his bike, you do as he says anyways.

When you tilt your gaze in the direction of the Han River, you’re immediately greeted by the dazzling lights that glimmer across the water. You haven’t been to the districts on the other side of the river, but you think you’re content with getting to see them from afar.

With the roar of an engine ringing in your ears. With the summer evening breeze whipping past your face.

With your arms around someone who’s slowly but surely leaving his mark in your life. 

“Are you sure this is legal?”

Your companion glances behind him as he makes his way to the aforementioned watch tower—a knapsack full of god-knows-what slung around his shoulder while he carries the paper bag with your “gift” in his free hand. “I’ve never seen a single ‘No Trespassing' sign since I’ve started going here ages ago, so probably.”

“Probably?” you parrot and Hani, who you’ve deigned to carry in your arms after that grueling motorcycle ride, meows as if she’s just as incredulous as you are. “So it’s still possible for us to get arrested?”

“Yeah, but what’s life without a little risk?” 

Unbelievable.

Yet, despite the common sense you were oh-so proud of this morning, you still follow him up the winding steps of the watchtower, which is hardly even a watchtower given that it’s a few meters beneath the widest bridge in the city. Woo wasn’t lying about his strange description of it after all.

“Well, here we are,” he announces when the two of you reach the platform on the very top. The edges are lined with metal rails that are beginning to rust with age, but seem sturdy enough to grant you some sense of security—no matter how sparse. “I’ll just set this up. You can go enjoy the view if you want.”

Woo doesn’t even let you get a word in before he unzips his bag and brings out a checkered picnic blanket. He gently lays it across the dusty concrete, smoothing out the fabric before fishing some more stuff inside his gym-bag-turned-picnic-basket. You keep yourself from making any snide comments about his choice of venue because despite the unorthodox location, you actually get why he’d find it peaceful here.

It’s far enough from the freeway that the sound of vehicles rushing through the night can barely reach your ears. If you listen closely enough, you can even hear the water flowing below much more clearly. You close your eyes to get a better feel of the place—imagining a six-foot something guy leaning across the rusty railings as he watches the city lights sparkle across the Han River.

“There we go.” 

You startle when you feel Woo’s warm, leather-clad hand on your shoulder—prompting you to turn around and see his handiwork. In the middle of the picnic blanket is something that looks suspiciously like a portable emergency light. How he got his hands on something like that, you’re not entirely sure, so you decide to focus on the other details instead. 

Like the two unopened bottles of soju right next to a take-out package of your favorite yangnyeom chicken. 

“Didn’t we agree that I was treating you to something this time around?” you grumble as you absentmindedly stroke Hani’s fur. 

“We did, but then you overslept and—”

“Okay, fine! Point taken!”

Woo snickers as he hands you the paper bag you brought for the trip. It looks even worse than it was when you ran all the way to the shelter and you can only hope the package inside isn’t completely ruined. 

You decide to let Hani down inside the gym bag that Woo left unzipped. Surprisingly, the newly adopted kitten makes a home out of it quickly—curling up into a ball as her tail swishes every now and again. Cute.

“Don’t judge, okay?” You breathe out nervously as you take the plastic container out of the bag. “I had a legit cake custom-made and everything but…yeah. Overslept.”

When Woo doesn’t respond a second too long, your gaze nervously rivets to his face to parse for a reaction. Was he disappointed? Should you have gotten a different design?

The moment you see the dazzled look in his eyes, however, you realize that isn’t the case.

He receives the little cupcake with open arms when you give it to him. It’s chocolate topped with bad fondant icing art, but you didn’t really have a choice. When you spotted it in the convenience store earlier, you grabbed the one that looked most like a kitten and dipped. It’s nice to know that he might actually like it after all.

“Oh and uh, sorry, but I couldn’t bring any candles for you to blow,” you add sheepishly. “You can just make a wish and pretend.” 

Woo’s gaze drifts to you for a moment before his eyes crinkle with laughter. “I don’t really have to do that though. My wish has already come true.”

Huh?

To your chagrin, he doesn’t elaborate. Instead, Woo invites you to sit on the picnic blanket—carefully removing his boots so he wouldn’t track dirt all over the food and you follow suit. 

You fill the silence with your goings-on for the rest of the day and how exactly you ended up dozing off and he’s kind enough to listen to every word. However, when you ask if he wants to do a toast, he shakes his head.

“I need to drive you back, remember?” 

You shoot him a dirty look. “So you took me all the way out here just so I can have two bottles of soju all to myself while you sit there and listen to me talk about my day?”

“...Yes?”

Men are so fucking infuriating sometimes, you can hardly believe it.

“Nope.” You firmly shake your head—plucking the bottle opener he set down on the blanket to pop the caps off. “You’re drinking with me. Just quit driving past the speed limit so we won’t die in a freak accident.” 

You immediately notice the stiffness in his shoulders as you shove the bottle of soju in his hands and part of you feels kind of bad for being pushy. For a moment, you allow yourself to scrutinize him for a bit longer. What could possibly be deterring him from drinking after going out of his way to do all this? 

That’s when you realize he still has his mask on.

Does he…have issues about people seeing his face?

That would definitely explain why he hasn’t once taken it off in all the times you’ve met him so far. With that in mind, you promptly decide to tell him that okay, he doesn’t have to if he really doesn’t want to, but then Woo is already reaching up to peel the blasted face mask off. 

Your chest seizes with panic, hands flying in front of you to keep him from doing something against his will. But the effort is futile because it only takes a second for him to remove and… 

Fuck.

Cue the choir of angels because goddamn does this man look like heaven.

Woo shifts somewhat uncomfortably under your stare, as if he’s waiting for you to blow up all over his face or something. But you’re much too mesmerized by too many things to form any sort of response right away. 

The sharp cut of his jaw. The gentle curve of his Cupid’s bow. The tinge of red spreading across his cheeks.

“I can’t believe you’ve been gatekeeping yourself from me all this time,” you whisper with a strained laugh—purposely peeling your gaze away for the sake of your own sanity. “I knew you were hot, but…God. I hate you.”

“You…don’t recognize me?” 

The question brings you out of your feelings for a moment, making you glance at him with a questioning stare. “Am I supposed to?”

Woo gapes at the question like he didn’t expect that to be your response before shaking his head vigorously. 

“N-No. Anyway, you said I was hot but you hate me?”

You narrow your eyes at him before taking your first swig of soju. “Don’t start getting all cocky with me, mister! I’ve got eyes and I can’t help that you’re objectively attractive. Just stating facts here.”

When Woo smiles for the first time without the figurative cockblock that is his signature black face mask and honestly? If you died right now, you’d die happily. 

The night presses on in a haze of soju, spicy chicken, and the occasional visit from Hani who uses either of your laps as her personal bed for about five minutes before switching to the other person. 

This is the longest you’ve been with Woo and you’re starting to realize that he isn’t much of a talker, which you completely understand. You can’t imagine someone who’s hell-bent on keeping what he looks like a secret for so long being a chatterbox.

“Oh, but you mentioned something to me at the shelter one time,” you pipe up before scooping a forkful of chicken into your mouth. 

“Yeah? What is it?” Woo asks softly as he pets Hani’s back. 

Feeling just a little bit tipsy from the alcohol, you try not to stare too hard at his handsome face or the way his lip curls at the edges with a tiny smile when Hani purrs from his touch.

“You said Hani reminded you of yourself from before,” you whisper as your gaze drifts to his leather-gloved hands. “Is it okay to ask what you meant by that?”

The sound of the river flowing beneath the watchtower fills your ears as you bask in the silence. It’s a pretty personal question. You’d totally get it if he decides not to answer, but you’re much too curious to keep yourself from asking. 

“Well, I wasn’t a stray or anything, but there was a time in my life that I felt so…aimless. I lost someone near and dear to me, and I didn’t know how to deal with it for a very long time.”

Hearing the earnest ring of Woo’s voice, you force yourself to snap out of your subtle inebriation—scooting a little bit closer to him on the blanket to make sure you catch every word. 

“I didn’t get into a life-threatening accident like this one did either, but…” He trails off for a moment, stroking the scar that you know runs along Hani’s sternum but has long healed with his fingers. 

“I managed to get back on track when the people around me showed me their support. They didn’t leave even if all I wanted was to be left alone. If it weren’t for them, it might’ve taken me even longer to move past what happened. Worse, I might not have moved past it at all.

“When I saw Hani that day, she looked scared of all the other cats. Like she wasn’t ready to let anyone get close to her just yet.” Woo breathes deeply before taking a small sip from his bottle. “I guess I was the same way, too. Healing isn’t linear. Sometimes, when I think I’m all better, one day, I just spiral back to where I started in the next one. That’s…kind of where you fit into the picture, actually.”

The brief pause in his story makes you blink at him, surprised. “Me?”

He nods. “You used to feed the strays in your neighborhood, right? You even had a schedule and everything.”

“That was months ago,” you mutter. “You mean you already knew me back then? Because of that?”

“I…actually live in that area, too.” He clears his throat, that familiar blush settling across his cheeks once again. “I often saw you feeding the strays because that’s usually the time I got back from the cemetery. One day, things got a bit too much and I kind of…broke down in the park instead of just doing that at home.”

He says it like he’s embarrassed and now that he mentioned it, you vaguely remember consoling a stranger during your days before volunteering at the shelter. You don’t recall much of it though—just the memory of awkwardly patting his back before sending him off feeling just a bit better because you saw him smile a little.

Other than that, you’re drawing blanks.

“How exactly did I help you, though? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

“I wouldn’t say you helped me or anything, but…” Woo pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose while slyly avoiding your eyes. “I distinctly remember you saying something like—”

Hey, it’s just a bad day. Or a bad week. Or a bad month. I don’t know. But it’s not a bad life. It’ll get better soon. I promise.

Fuck. Maybe you do remember.

“It didn’t really mean much to me at the time. Honestly, it kind of pissed me off at first,” Woo admits with a guilty chuckle before taking another sip. “But you were right. Sometimes, things got worse. Other times, it got better. But one day, I realized that I got to a point where it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.

“I’m not usually this open about my problems, but I learned overtime that talking about them makes them less taxing to deal with. Almost like I’m just talking about the weather, you know?” He smiles softly and you swear your heart melts at the sight of it. “And…I also don’t want to be closed off from others anymore. Back then, I mostly just kept everything to myself—bottling it all up until it was just unbearable.” 

“Now you’re here spilling your guts out to some random college senior,” you snicker before taking another swig of your soju. You pout when you realize the bottle’s all empty before placing it back on the picnic blanket. “That’s some character development.”

“It really is.”

The silence sets once more and your eyes wander off to the city so close yet so far away. The lights from the skyscrapers glimmer like stars across the calm waters of the Han River and you like to think it compensates for the fact that the sky is blocked out by the bridge stretched far and wide above you. 

This isn’t how you imagined your first stargazing date would be like, but it’s a good start.

Although, the moment the idea crosses your mind, you’re quick to jolt at your own thoughts. 

This isn’t a date. You’re just celebrating his birthday together. Alone. On a picnic blanket. With one of the loveliest sceneries you’ve laid your eyes on. In a place where he claims that he never once showed to anyone else. 

“Hey, is this—”

Your breath hitches in your throat when you turn to look at Woo—only to find his face mere inches from yours. 

“What?” he whispers and despite the fact that you’re wearing a sweater, you feel goosebumps rise across the skin of your shoulders. 

“Uh.” Fuck. “Is this a date?”

His mouth curves into a smile that you can’t quite get a read on. “It can be what you want it to be.”

“Okay,” you breathe out, suddenly feeling hot all over as his eyes flicker to your lips. “Just so you know, I don’t kiss on the first date.”

When Woo laughs again, it’s a deep-seated noise that makes your insides tingle with an indescribable feeling. You don’t really want to give it a name.

“Okay,” he repeats before pressing his forehead against yours. “We can have our first date next time then.”

Of course the sly fucker dives in for a kiss anyway.

“H-Hey,” you whisper in between, trying not to get too distracted with how plump his lips are as you keep holding him still by his broad shoulders. “You’re going to end up crushing Hani if you d-don’t cut it out!”

Woo sighs against your lips before pulling away regretfully. For a moment, he stares at the sleepy kitten on his lap, gazing around cluelessly after being roused from slumber. His expression softens for a moment as he scoops her up with both hands, settling her down in the comfort of his gym bag. She lets out a satisfied mewl before curling into a ball once more.

“Better?” 

You’re not sure if he’s asking you or the cat, but…

“Better,” you whisper before fisting the lapels of his jacket and crushing your lips with his.

You don’t know where you’re pulling all this pent-up frustration from. During the very brief period that you’ve gotten closer to Woo, your general opinion about him never really deviated from he’s cute and he’s hot. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yet here you are, gasping into his mouth as he flattens his tongue against yours. A strong arm hooks around your waist, pressing your bodies infinitesimally closer and your skin is slowly hitting a fever pitch beneath your clothes. Something wild and all-consuming burns in your veins and you channel it into a moan that makes his grip on you grow tighter. 

You don’t know how exactly you wound up on top of his lap—knees planted on either side of his hips as he continues devouring you with no intention of leaving anything behind. You can feel the expensive material of his leather gloves when his fingers graze along the hem of your sweater. Your skin tingles like every nerve ending has been set alight and if you weren’t already rendered dizzy by his intoxicating cologne, you’re in for a ride with each second his touch hikes further up your torso.

Woo sighs against your lips before pulling away momentarily—eyes aflame before he removes his fogged up glasses with one hand, tossing them somewhat carelessly on the picnic blanket. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Why was that so hot?

You’re too stunned to even draw a breath as he stares you down without the constant partition of his glasses. Has his gaze always been this sharp? Have those eyes always been transfixed on you?

“This…This wasn’t part of the plan, if you’re wondering.” Woo croons out the words huskily. Like an afterthought he only considered out of concern for you. Cute. “I swear I didn’t have any ulterior motives when—”

You giggle, before pressing a kiss on his nose. Woo’s eyes widen just a fraction.

“What made you cave then?” 

The way his Adam’s apple bobs has no right to be that alluring, but it pulls you in anyway. “You looked really cute tonight.”

“Is that all?”

“Um, I thought it was sweet that you still got me a cupcake after you overslept?”

You groan, forehead bumping into the crook of his neck. Jesus Christ, he smells so fucking good. “How long are you going to hold that over my head for?”

You feel the vibrations of his laughter humming against your connected chests and your heart swells as Woo wraps his arms around your frame—pulling you into a firm embrace as the heat that engulfed the both of you slowly simmered into the cool evening air. You can feel him tracing idle shapes along your shoulder blades and the small of your back, and it does nothing to keep you from melting into his touch.

It’s so strange how easily you gave into him. You’ve formally known Woo for about three months and became legitimate friends(?) for less than three weeks. If you told Haewon about this whirlwind romance of yours, she’d hit you upside the head and tell you you’re being way too hasty for a man. 

But if it’s a man with a black kitten taking a nap in his gym bag while he kisses you senseless underneath one of Seoul’s busiest freeways, you suppose you can make an exception.

“We should go,” Woo murmurs softly. “You’ve still got to accompany your sister to the airport right?”

“Mmm. Nope. She’s staying a day longer,” you inform him with the same quiet tone, letting your fingers trail up to his hair so you can toy with the strands in your fingertips. “But I do have some more edits to get over with in my final manuscript, so…yeah. We should go.”

Despite wanting nothing but to stay there in Woo’s little safe haven, the two of you manage to miraculously peel yourselves away from each other. Your face is hot the entire time you helped clean up his little picnic setup. When he shuts off the portable emergency light, you squint as you parse your way through the darkness. 

You kind of end up tripping on air like a complete idiot, but before you can tumble off the rails and into the river, Woo catches you by the waist—not so different from how he held you ten minutes prior.

“Careful,” he mutters as he lets you go and you can’t help but silently mourn the loss of his touch again. “I don’t want to be accused of being a murderer.”

You snicker as he gently scoops Hani out of the gym bag and back into the spacious compartment in the lapel of his leather jacket. For a sleepy kitten, she’s surprisingly compliant. “I actually thought all this time you were some sort of serial killer trying to lure me to my doom.”

“You thought that but you came with me anyway?”

“Why not? You’re hot.”

That night, you let Woo drive you back home now that he’s more or less beaten the serial killer allegations. You tell him that he doesn’t have to walk you to your apartment, but he insists—saying that he can afford to leave Hani on his bike for a few minutes. 

Of course, it ends up with another heated makeout session against your front door. This time, those stupid leather-clad fingers hike high enough on your back to toy with the clasp of your bra while his other hand remains tangled in your hair to pull you impossibly closer.

“I have to go,” he rasps before swiping his tongue along his bottom lip—giving you a sudden itch to sink your teeth into it. “But you’re making it really hard to leave.” 

He’s making it really hard to tell him to go home, too, but as much as you want to kiss the night away, you still have some of your wits about you.

You chuckle as you reluctantly extract his wandering hands away from your body. Woo sighs in surrender with a nearly inaudible laugh.

“You already bent my I don’t kiss on the first date rule, genius,” you remind him breathlessly. “Don’t push your luck just yet until we’ve had that so-called first date next time.” 

He grins. “So there’s going to be a next time?”

Deciding to keep him on his toes, you bat your eyelashes coquettishly at him. “Only if you want to.”

Woo leans in to press his lips against the corner of your mouth—trying his best to suppress the grin on his face. 

“I’ll hold you to it then.”

Despite having lived in Seoul for four years and having a hardcore fangirl for a sister, today’s the first time you’ll be attending the pre-recording session for a music show. 

Needless to say, you feel like an outsider amongst the fans armed with all sorts of idol merchandise and dressed in the prettiest outfits. Haewon managed to mooch a lightstick off one of her friends for you to use, but despite the fact that you know not a single soul would give two shits about you here, the alienating sensation remains. 

“Hey, don’t be too nervous,” your little sister chortles as the marshals usher the crowd into the studio. “All you gotta do is wave that lightstick to the beat. You’ll blend right in, I promise.”

You crack her a nervous smile. Oh, the things you do to make Haewon happy.

It’s a little bit of a blur from there. You squeeze past the throng of fans while simultaneously trying not to lose your sister in the crowd. Some of the staff are handing out photocards that you hear are exclusively given away at this specific broadcast and were worth hundreds of thousands of won. You’re not sure which member Haewon got for you, but knowing your little sister, she must’ve snagged one of Wonwoo’s.

When the two of you are settled in your seats, you take the time to admire the set. You never imagined idol music show stages being this massive in person. In fact, you never really spared an active thought about them. Most of the info you do know about these kinds of things are secondhand accounts from Haewon from all the times she’s been to several broadcasting studios across the city. 

“Did you bring the PC I got you last time?” she asks before taking out the broadcast ones out of their plastic package. 

You shake your head. “Sorry. That Wonwoo’s sitting in a different bag.”

“Well, at least you haven’t sold him,” your little sister laughs before handing you one of the cards in her hands. “I told the staff to give us Mingyu and Wonwoo, but they gave me Hoshi and Wonwoo. It’s okay though, ‘cause Hoshi’s my bias wrecker anyway.”

Ah. More fandom jargon that you’re just now hearing about.

Just as the staff is starting to do the final preparations on stage, you decide to check out the broadcast PC that Haewon just gave to you. When your eyes land on Wonwoo’s face, however, you suddenly feel your blood freeze in your veins. 

You…don’t recognize me?

One of the staff members announces that the boys will be out shortly to begin the pre-recording session but the words are all but muted in your ears. 

Because how the hell can you focus on anything else when the face of the man who drove you back home last night—the man who kissed you until you were lightheaded—is plastered on a photocard that could be exchanged for an entire fortune?

This can’t be right, you muse with a scowl—fishing your phone out of your bag as your trembling fingers make haste to open your messaging app. He can’t be the same guy. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:35]: Good morning, I hope you got enough rest!

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:36]: I have a schedule later this morning so I might be MIA 

Me [09:40]: it’s cool. i just woke up actually hahaha

Me [09:40]: i also don’t mind! i’m heading out with my sister in a while too

Me [09:41]: have fun at work(?)

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:45]: Haha I will :) Have fun with your sister!

With a deep breath, you lock your phone just as the lights start to dim and the crowd cheers their hearts out. Haewon urges you to turn on your lightstick and the part of the studio that’s filled to the brim with an audience is lit up with hundreds of dazzling lights.  

You would’ve appreciated the sight if only a certain someone didn’t play you for a fucking fool.

Just as promised, the boys that your little sister has been crazy about since their debut all fill the stage gradually. Some of them greet the fans with wide grins and silly little gestures. The others are a little more reserved with their greetings—all shy smiles and reserved movements.

Like Wonwoo, for example.

After several years of only knowing Mingyu thanks to Haewon, this is the first time you were able to pick out another one of them on stage with ease. Why wouldn’t you be able to recognize him? 

He had you pressed up against your front door only a few hours ago.

It all made sense now. The affinity for keeping a face mask on. The late night visits. The fact that he seems to make an exorbitant amount of money from a job he doesn’t want to disclose.

Woo is Wonwoo from SEVENTEEN. 

And he somehow forgot to let you know over the course of your time together. 

You try to keep down the frustration that burns in your throat, making you feel like the roof of your mouth is stuffed with cotton. It’s much easier to mask your feelings once the performers all get into position and the music starts. The loud beat blaring from the speakers coupled with the well-practiced fanchants from the audience easily overpower the sound of your hitched breathing. Even Haewon was too engrossed with the performance to notice your distress.

Still, there’s not much you can do about it now. Especially when Wonwoo’s the one who starts up the first verse of their newest song. 

He looks so…different from the gentle giant you’ve come to know over the past few weeks. There’s a dangerous look in his eyes that you know is all for show, but it makes your spine tingle at the sight of it nonetheless. The words to the song are raspily sung into the mic and if you weren’t convinced that he and Woo aren’t the same person, you most certainly are now.

After all, it’s his fucking voice that got you so down bad in the first place.

Once his part is done, Wonwoo quickly heads over to the next formation—a complete professional by heart. He belts out each dance move with such perfect precision and you wouldn’t expect any less from an idol who’s spent years honing his talents. But despite how awe-struck you are to see this side of him in person, it just wasn’t enough to completely erase the feeling that you’ve been betrayed.

It stings even more when the song ends and the studio is filled with deafening screams from the audience yet again. For once, Wonwoo’s stoic expression cracks with a handsome grin as he and the rest of his bandmates huddle together and exchange high fives. 

That person on stage is both the man you caught feelings for and a stranger at the same time. He easily smiles at the fans the same way he would smile at you, but the difference between Woo and Wonwoo is that only one of them is willing to show this part of his life to the rest of the world. 

Did he not trust you enough? Did he think you’d act like some crazy fan if he told you the truth?

You love Haewon. You love your little sister more than anything in the world, but you can’t pretend that things are okay when the man who kept you in the dark is standing right in front of you, clueless of the revelation that occurred to you just now.

“Where are you going?” Haewon calls out when you make your way out of the rows of seats—earning yourself a collection of glares from the other fans in the vicinity. “Unnie, hey!”

The last thing you want to do is ditch her for something you promised you’d see through until the end but you’re just so fucking done. You don’t want to see Wonwoo right now. Or hear him and his stupidly perfect voice through the studio’s sound system. 

Right now, you just…want to be alone.

About two weeks after you stormed out of the first and last music show pre-recording you’ll ever attend in your life, things have more or less mellowed out. Sort of.

You’ve been taking fewer and fewer shifts at the shelter as graduation draws ever-so near. But aside from wanting to focus on getting your academic backlogs over with, you also wanted to stay away from the one place that Woo—or should you say Wonwoo—can easily find you and subsequently corner you to talk. Because you don’t want to talk to someone who’s basically been lying to your face the entire time you’ve been friends.

Well, you suppose if you really don’t want to hear even a peep out of him, you should’ve blocked his number altogether. But that’s not really the case.

Your phone buzzes while you’re in the middle of signing off adoption papers to a couple who wanted to adopt one of the shelter cats. You thought it was pretty adorable of them to make that decision since having a pet together is almost as good as having a kid together after all.

Thinking it was from your adviser, you snuck a glance towards the notifications in your homescreen. But when you see a familiar emoji plastered on the sender’s nickname, you’re quick to put it face down on the wooden desk.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:35]: Good morning. Are you at the shelter today? Can I speak to you?

How he has it in him to keep texting you as if you haven’t given him nothing but radio silence for the past two weeks, you’re not sure. Wonwoo must’ve sensed that something was amiss the moment you stopped replying to him altogether, but he never tried to pester you about what was wrong. Instead, he simply continued sending all those messages to check in on you despite the fact that it’s almost as if he’s talking to a wall.

Well, it’s not like you have time to entertain him now anyways. 

“Are you sure she doesn’t have a name yet?” One of your clients—the boyfriend—asks as he smooths down his newly adopted Maine Coon’s fur. 

The girlfriend rolls her eyes. “You heard the nice shelter lady, Vern. This one just wouldn’t respond to any name they tried to give her.”

You agree with a half-hearted laugh, trying your best to ignore the guilt that’s perpetually swelling in your heart the longer you ignore Wonwoo’s pleas. “Yup. Our director said she’s got a bit of an attitude, but I think she just has high standards.”

Vern the Boyfriend makes a funny face at that. “So you’re saying that she doesn’t like the names she’s been given so far?”

“Mhmm. We tried Cupcake, Winter, Princess, and Lily, but she liked none of those. Try naming her something fancy. ”

“Chairman Meow?”

“Vern.” 

“What? You gotta admit it’s funny, Sohee.”

Sohee the Girlfriend rolls her eyes. “Yes, but it’s an overused pun now! Think of something else.”

“Hmm. How about…Milana?”

“Is that because Seokmin wouldn’t shut up about his trip to Milan?”

“Ugh, yeah. Two months later and he still won’t stop talking about—”

“The gorgonzola he had for dinner the night before he flew back to Korea. I know. You won’t stop talking about it either.”

“Hey, Seokmin-hyung pays great attention to detail when it comes to food. You can’t help but want it, too.”

As you observe the friendly banter between the couple, you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. You don’t come across two people who complement each other as well as they do, and from the curious glint in their newly adopted cat’s eyes, you think she likes being in their company as well.

“Fine, let’s test it out first,” Sohee huffs before scratching behind the Maine Coon’s ears. “We’re going to call you Milana. Does that sound good to you?”

When the cat nuzzles her hand with a pleased meow, Sohee and Vern turn to glance at each other at the same time—two matching smiles plastered on their faces.

God. You can only wish to have what they do.

Once the rest of the documents have been finalized, you and Mina—who just got back from updating the vaccination records for all the animals in the shelter—see your most recent clients off. Vern the Boyfriend, Sohee the Girlfriend, and Milana the Child are off to the streets to start the next chapter of their lives or whatever.

When the door to the front entrance clicks shut, you let out the longest, deepest sigh known to mankind. Your coworker stifles a laugh.

“Looks like someone’s jealous,” Mina comments. 

You whine. “How could I not be jealous of that? They’re so in love, it’s sickening. They even got a kid together!” 

“You know, you could easily have that too if you just stopped avoiding—”

“Oh, look at the time!” You interrupt her a little too theatrically, stomping off to the direction of the break room. “Gotta go meet my thesis adviser. Kino and the other volunteers should show up in the next hour, though!”

You don’t catch the frustrated look on Mina’s face as you make a hasty retreat, but it doesn’t make you any less guilty about trying to skirt around the topic every chance you get. Mina’s always had your back during these past two weeks. Though you never told her why you’re avoiding your not-so-quote-unquote crush like the plague, she’d always come up with excuses and alibis to throw him off your trail. 

Which, coincidentally, happens again just as you’re changing out of your uniform.

“I don’t suppose you’re looking for a sibling for Hani?” you hear Mina sigh from outside.

The person she’s talking to laughs softly. “No. I think you know why I’m here again.”

God. That fucking voice.

“Well, again, she’s not here,” your coworker bluffs. “And uh, word of advice, I get that you’re hot shit and all, but if you keep trying to bother my friend who, for some reason, doesn’t want anything to do with you, I might have to call the authorities.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.

That’s a little too different from the typical ‘oh I’m sure she’ll come around one of these days’ spiel that Mina always feeds to Wonwoo every time he visits. Sure, you’re not yet ready to face him yet after everything that’s happened, but it’s not like you want him thrown in jail—

“Uh, right. I get it,” he says awkwardly, clearing his throat in the process. “It’s just that she hasn’t spoken to me in days and I’m a little worried—”

“That’s clearly a sign for you to back off, buddy.” You can almost see Mina with her arms crossed, rolling her eyes. “I’ve been keeping myself from saying anything about it, but I’ve always found it strange how often you visit a goddamn animal shelter. And now that she’s clearly avoiding you, you’re still trying to corner her? Are you a stalker or something?”

Fuck. This isn’t how the conversation is supposed to go! 

Mina’s job is to just politely drive Wonwoo away so you can slip out of the building without having to talk to him. But your coworker must’ve misinterpreted your persistent reluctance to meet him as genuine fear and…while you’re glad you have a friend who looks out for you like that, she’s going about all of this the wrong way!

Wonwoo doesn’t speak for a long time and your heart squeezes at the notion that he’s been called all those harsh words when all he wanted to do was talk to you. You didn’t even give him any reasons as to why you suddenly decided to cut him off. But instead of marching out there to face him and clear the air yourself…

You stay hidden in the break room like a fucking coward.

“I understand why you’d assume that, but I don’t have any ill intentions—”

“That's exactly what a guy with ill intentions would say,” Mina scoffs. “Do both of us a favor and just leave, yeah? And stop trying to contact her when she obviously wants nothing to do with you anymore.”

The silence hangs thick from outside and despite being in the break room, you swear you can almost choke on it yourself. 

You’re not sure what expression Wonwoo is wearing. Actually, you don’t even know him well enough to know those kinds of things. The most you’ve seen of his face was during that quiet night you spent together two weeks ago and you’ve severed contact with him all because of something that he probably could have explained if only you gave him the chance to.

“Okay,” he whispers so softly, you almost don’t catch it. “Thanks for your time.”

Fortunately, Mina doesn’t try to add any more fuel to the fire. All you hear is the sound of retreating footsteps and the sound of the front door clicking shut. 

It’s only when your coworker pokes her head inside the break room that you realize you’ve been holding your breath.

“He’s gone now,” she murmurs with a comforting smile. “And if he doesn’t stop bothering you even after that, I’ll raise the complaint to the director himself. I’m sure he can pull some legal strings to keep that guy out of the area for good.”

You find it kind of ironic that a few minutes ago, Mina was teasing you about him and now things have escalated into restraining order territory. But you can’t really blame her for it.

Especially when you’ve done nothing to clear up the misunderstanding.

“Right. Thanks, Mina.” You manage a thin smile, fingers absentmindedly drifting to the black cat enamel you still pinned to your uniform’s chest pocket.

“I really appreciate it.”

Haewon 🪷 [10:30]: Unnie hiii

Haewon 🪷 [10:33]: Can you call me as soon as you read this? Xoxo

You get to check Haewon’s message three hours late because finally, finally you’ve managed to defend your thesis after innumerable sleepless nights and neverending changes to your manuscript draft. Your panelists and advisers had nothing but praises to sing about your work—even going as far as to promise that your paper will definitely be published in the next volume of the academic journal you’d been secretly hoping it’ll get selected for. 

It’s still surreal that the only thing you’ve got left on your university to-do list is to attend the commencement rites scheduled in three weeks’ time. Four grueling years have really just gone by in a flash. 

After enjoying one of your last lunch breaks in the quad with some old classmates who’ve also conquered the figurative beast that is their undergrad thesis, you excuse yourself for a while to give your little sister a ring. Haewon picks up on the second ring. 

“About time you called,” she huffs. “I thought you were sleeping in the day again.”

You shake your head with a laugh despite the fact that she can’t see the gesture. “No more sleeping in the day for me ‘cause I’m graduating.”

Haewon gasps—loud enough to create static across the line. “Really? Oh my god. That’s good news then! Mom and dad were actually getting worried about you, you know? You’ve been throwing yourself into that stupid thesis of yours for a month now.” 

It takes a while for you to formulate a response, something akin to guilt creeping into your heart at the prospect of worrying your parents sick. But then again, what’s done is done. You can catch up on the several hours of sleep and countless brain cells you’ve lost trying to make your final manuscript actually make sense.

“It’s all good now,” you reassure. “All you guys have to do now is fly over to Seoul for my graduation and I can pack my bags and go back to the countryside as soon as I can.” 

You half-expect Haewon to laugh off your haste to travel back to your hometown and say something about how you’re better off in the city than this old dump. 

But you’re met with silence instead.

“Um,” she starts nervously after a few moments. “I know most of the stuff that’s been stressing you out is gone now, but… Are you sure you’re okay?”

The question makes you swallow thickly. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Unnie, I’m your sister,” Haewon says a-matter-of-factly and you can almost picture her scowling at you. “We both know you’ve been acting really weird ever since the pre-recording. I couldn’t pester you about it ‘cause I had to go back home the next day. And I didn’t want to bother you while you were finishing up your thesis.

“So now that all those obstacles are out of the way, do you mind telling me what’s wrong?”

The sound of the other students milling around the quad rings in your ears as you process Haewon’s words. When you take a deep breath, the exhale is accompanied by defeated laughter.

You’re an idiot to think you could ever escape your little sister’s scrutiny.

“I know you’re going to give me shit if I say it’s nothing you should worry about—”

“You’re right,” she interjects. “I will give you shit.”

“—but it really is nothing you should worry about,” you continue anyway, toying with the hem of your sweater with a wistful sigh. “Long story short, it’s…boy problems. Boy problems that I’ve ignored long enough that they just went away all on their own.”

At the other line, Haewon makes a strangled noise as if that’s not the answer she was expecting. “Come again?”

“Yeah, Hae. Your big sister actually has boy problems,” you chortle. “Weird, right?”

“Yes and you didn’t even bother telling me about it at all?!” She crows angrily. “You have to give me the gist or I’m hanging up and booking the next flight to Seoul.” 

For a moment, you hesitate and give yourself a moment to think about what you can and can’t tell Haewon over a phone call when she’s a whole plane ride away from you. 

She absolutely cannot know that the boy in question is Wonwoo. You’ll probably spend more time trying to convince her that what you’re saying is true than avoiding a pity party. So instead, you tell her:

“Well, this boy and I had…something good going for us, I think. I like him, you know—really, really like him. But then one day, I found out that he’s been keeping this important thing about himself from me.” A sigh. “Like, I know some stuff is none of my business, but it’s so easy for him to let others know about that…that thing, yet somehow he never bothered to tell me. I couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t trust me enough.”

Surprisingly, Haewon lets out a hum of understanding. “Yeah, that’s kind of a dick move on his part. Did you confront him about it?”

You find yourself tongue-tied for a moment—a bit embarrassed to admit to your little sister that you chose the coward’s way out of this. 

“Um, that’s the thing. I kind of ghosted him when I found out,” you tell her sheepishly. “I don’t think he knows the reason why I suddenly just dipped to this day. Haven’t spoken to him in…two months.” 

“Uh-huh. So all this time, you’ve been burying your guilt in schoolwork. Is that it?”

The straightforward tone catches you off guard for a second. “That’s not—”

“Unnie,” Haewon calls out firmly, making you close your mouth. “Again, I’m your sister. I know things about you that others don’t—things that you don’t either, probably. And trust me when I say this, but you are not the confrontational type. Don’t worry though because it’s perfectly fine to avoid the things you don’t want to deal with. Especially if you’re dealing with a person that’s more trouble than they’re worth.

“But…you said that you really, really like him. Present tense.” She pauses briefly, as if letting you digest what she’s saying a little better. “If the circumstances were even slightly different, I would’ve cheered you on for ghosting someone who hasn’t been one hundred percent honest with you because, duh? Deserved. But from the way you’ve been coping with what happened, I can’t help but think that avoiding him like this isn’t what you wanted to do at all.” 

Haewon’s words flow from the speaker and lance straight through your heart, and you start to wonder when she started sounding so reliable. You’re used to looking out for her even with the distance separating you. But ironically, it’s in your last year of college that your sister effortlessly dissected the dilemma that’s been plaguing you for weeks.

“Look, I think you’ll feel much better about all this if you just talk to him,” she continues when you don’t utter a word in response. “Not that I’m siding with some semi-lying jerk, but maybe he had his reasons for hiding…whatever he was hiding from you? If he gives you a bullshit excuse, then at least the ghosting will finally be justified, right?”

Her frankness makes you snort. “I guess.”

“Good. Now hang up and call him now.”

“...What?” 

“You heard me.”

“Haewon, I can’t just call him out of nowhere after ignoring him for so long.”

“Pfft. Of course you can! If he doesn’t answer, then that still justifies the ghosting because he obviously doesn’t want you enough. Men like that don’t deserve you, unnie.”

“...Fine. Point taken.”

You end the call after Haewon makes you swear to keep her posted about the situation and your love life in general from now on. Sighing, you reluctantly scroll through your messaging app—finding a conversation that’s long been buried by more recent texts from other people after he sent his final messages to you.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:35]: It’s been three weeks since you last replied. Hope you’re doing okay. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:36]: Mina told me that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore but I really don’t understand why because…aren’t we good? Didn’t we have something back there? Or was I just reading you wrong the whole time?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:55]: Either way, she was right about one thing at least. I’ve probably made you uncomfortable with my texts. Kind of pathetic now that I think about it. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:01]: I’m sorry for constantly bothering you like this. It’s just that…I want to know what went wrong.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:05]: It’s getting harder for me to sleep at night knowing I fucked up something that could’ve been the start of something nice. I was already planning our first date, you know?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:10]: Fuck. Now it just sounds like I’m gaslighting haha.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:17]: Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. I don’t even know anymore.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [04:25]: What I do know is that I miss you. So much.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [10:05]: Uh. Sorry about all of that. I had a few drinks and…you know how it goes.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [10:12]: I’ll stop texting you for real now. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [10:15]: I hope your studies go well. Thank you for being part of my life, no matter how short our time together was.

Fuck. 

This is going to be much more difficult than you thought.

You don’t really blame yourself when it takes you a few days to decide whether or not you should call Wonwoo. The choice has been weighing on you like a cloud above your head and you had to decline several invites to go out from your friends because you simply cannot sit still, knowing that you have to do something about…whatever’s going on with the two of you.

Part of you insists on just leaving it as it is. Wonwoo is an idol that’s almost a decade into his career and you’re much too certain that he’s met enough people in his life to deem the loss of your company specifically a big deal. He has his members, his fans, and anything else a person could ever want.

So what if some college senior he doesn’t even know that well just ghosted him out of nowhere?

But even with that logic, you still end up holding your breath before pressing the call button one Tuesday afternoon. 

There are a total of five attempts made and all five lead you straight to voicemail—each instance making your heart grow heavier and heavier once the prerecorded message comes to an end. You secretly fear that he must’ve blocked your number altogether. Why wouldn’t he after you’ve wasted his time as much as you did?

Others would’ve considered this as a sign to just give up. The universe is basically telling you that the brief time you shared together would yield nothing more. Wonwoo has his own career to worry about and as do you, now that you’re finally going to be ejected from university and into the life of an unemployed fresh grad. You’re better off not chasing after the things you’ve purposely run away from in the first place.

So why on earth are you looking up the exact address of his company building, making the long commute for the slim chance of running into him against all odds?

The security around the area might look lax but you can spot the assortment of security guards stationed both inside and outside of the company building pretty easily. Given the nature of the business they’re running, it would make sense that they’d put up all possible countermeasures against people who might try to inconvenience their artists in any way.

Not wanting to be branded as a crazed fan, you decide to keep your distance—purposely lingering outside the shopping center just across the street as you brainstorm how exactly you’re going to meet up with Wonwoo. 

But as the minutes ticked past, your sense of reason is starting to overpower your desire to clear things up with him. For one, you don’t even know what his schedule looks like. How can you be so sure that he’ll even be there today? Worse, would Wonwoo even want to speak with you after everything? Despite having kept the fact that he’s an idol a secret to you all this time, he has all the right to refuse speaking with you when you never even gave him a chance to explain himself.

The noise of the busy district fades in the background as your eyes fall to Wonwoo’s final text message. You haven’t even thought of texting him since you considered reaching out. But with the fact that your earlier phone calls didn’t go through, you don’t think you can bear seeing your apologetic messages get denied in the very real chance that he’s blacklisted your number altogether.

God. You feel so pathetic.

“Hey, it’s you!”

You immediately blanche at the feeling of someone placing a hand on your shoulder—turning around to see who it is only to be met with the sight of two familiar faces.

“Oh,” you voice out somewhat dumbly. “Miss…Sohee? And Vern?”

The couple who adopted a cat from the shelter flashes you pretty smiles, the two of them carrying grocery bags in each arm. Sohee perks up when you recognize them. “Yup! I didn’t expect to see the nice shelter lady around these parts. What brings you here?”

“Just…stuff.” The laugh you spare them is a little too forced, but if they notice, they don’t comment on it. “How about you guys? How has Milana been?”

“Feels right at home in either of our apartments,” Vern chuckles. “You were right about her having high standards. We always end up doing our grocery shopping here instead of the supermarket near my place ‘cause Lana refuses to eat any of the cheap cat food being sold there.”

Sohee sighs in agreement. “Mhmm. You wouldn’t even think she was a rescue with how high maintenance she is, but we’re idiots that dote on her all the time. It’s just a good thing we work right across the street from here.”

Feeling endeared with how much they spoil their new child aside, the latter part of Sohee’s statement catches your attention for a moment. “Sorry? You work right across the street?”

The moment the words leave your lips, the charming smiles on their faces falter before the couple before you share a look. A brief moment of telepathic communication must’ve occurred between the both of them, as if wordlessly discussing whether they should respond, but in the end Sohee relents.

“Yeah. Vern and I work at HYBE,” she chuckles. “I’m actually surprised you don’t recognize him, since he’s—”

“A very loyal employee that the nice shelter lady can’t possibly recognize,” Vern interjects with a cough into his fist and the immediate reaction makes it easier to put two and two together.

He’s an idol. One hundred percent an idol.

Deciding to play along, you offer up a nod in understanding. “I see. Guess you guys are heading back for the day?”

“Yep. We had one of the other members—uh, I mean, one of our friends look after Milana while we had our grocery run,” Vern explains not-so-smoothly.

“As much as we’d like to stay and chat for a while longer, our baby kind of needs us,” Sohee tells you with an apologetic look. “I hope things at the shelter are running smoothly! We’ve seen how dedicated you guys are to taking care of those poor animals.”

You nod. “Of course. I’ll see you guys around?”

“Anytime!”

You and the beautiful couple exchange quaint bows in farewell before the two of them start walking away. But with each footstep that they take further and further away from you, the itch to run after them and ask what you’ve been dying to when they said they both worked at HYBE grows all the more unbearable.

Cut it out, you mentally hiss at yourself. You can’t bother other people about your issues with Wonwoo. That’s just a whole new low. 

You should’ve just gone the opposite direction when the conversation ended. You should’ve just directed yourself to the nearest bus stop back to your apartment—buried all of this in the past where it belongs.

But it’s as if your body has a mind of its own. The next thing you know, you’re sprinting towards Sohee and Vern before they could cross the next intersection—surprising the couple with your sudden re-entry.

“Did you need something?” Sohee asks, accommodating and confused all at once.

Now or never.

“Yes, actually,” you dole out breathlessly, pursing your lips before adding:

“Do you guys know where Wonwoo is?”

Out of all the ways you thought this day could turn out, you never would’ve imagined being in the backseat of one of HYBE’s music producers—breezing through the city’s freeway as she interrogates you about just how exactly you know Jeon Wonwoo.

“So you’re the reason he’s being so off lately,” Sohee chuckles before switching lanes. “Wonwoo’s always been the quiet type, but sometimes you can just tell when there’s a lot on his mind. Isn’t that right, Vernon?”

Vernon, who you come to realize is part of the same group as Wonwoo, glances at you from the rearview mirror with a shake of his head. “I can vouch. Wonwoo-hyung’s been working on sharing stuff with us, but of course there’s still some things he’d like to keep to himself.”

I also don’t want to be closed off from others anymore. Back then, I mostly just kept everything to myself—bottling it all up until it was just unbearable.

Great. Now you feel twice as horrible.

“Honestly, I was kind of scared that you guys would think I’m a sasaeng,” you admit with a dry laugh before settling further into the car’s plush upholstery. 

“While we have no reason not to think that with all the weirdos popping up these days,” Sohee starts before her lips curve into a smile, “it just so happens that Soonyoung also can’t keep his mouth shut about Wonwoo’s little crush.”

That makes your face heat up a little. “Soonyoung like…Wonwoo’s friend?”

“You might know him better as Hoshi,” Vernon explains. 

Hoshi, Hoshi, Hoshi…

You snap your fingers once you figure it out. “Yeah. He’s my sister’s bias wrecker.”

“Now we learn that your sister is a fan, too? Huh. Small world.”

“Anyway,” Sohee interjects. “The reason why we believed your explanation was because Soonyoung described Wonwoo’s crush as an animal lover. He’s not so much of a blabbermouth that he gave us more details aside from that, but Vernon here told me about how Wonwoo always comes late to their unit meetings because he keeps making all these detours first.”

Vernon stifles a laugh. “I actually found out about the shelter because Coups-hyung insisted that we follow him around to figure out where he’s been going. It didn’t occur to me at the time that his animal lover crush and the nice shelter lady could be the same person.”

At this point, you can honestly get used to being called a nice shelter lady. But that aside, you can’t help but flush even further at all the things being revealed to you right now. 

It’s…a lot to unpack. 

First, Wonwoo has a crush on you? A complete nobody? Then again, from how often he’s been seeking you out before things went to shit, you could infer that he’s at least a little bit interested from how he kept going out of his way to see you. He’s even late to meetings because of his little visits. This so-called crush was quite obvious, you just don’t like how flustered hearing it out loud makes you feel.

“But then Wonwoo-hyung just started showing up on time to our meetings during our comeback promotions,” Vernon continues. “We were glad we didn’t have to keep waiting for him to start, but…we also noticed that he’s been kind of down lately. The first time it happened, I assumed it was just an off day for him, though now that we met you like this, that’s definitely not the case.”

Wonwoo’s been feeling down? Because of you?

If the roles were reversed, you can say that you’d feel the same if he just stopped talking to you when you thought you were already growing closer. It doesn’t help that the last time you were together, you shared far too many kisses that mere friends should indulge each other with. 

You sigh, leaning your head against the headrest.

You’re such an idiot. A selfish, inconsiderate—

“Well, here we are.”

When the car pulls over, you don’t even realize that Sohee already left the freeway and drove into one of the roads overlooking the Han River. You can barely keep yourself from choking on your own breath when you spot a very familiar motorcycle parked in front of the vehicle. It doesn’t help that Sohee pulled over a certain spot underneath the elevated highway that you’re very much certain you’ve already been to once before.

“Hyung doesn’t know that we know about this place. He never brings anyone else here,” Vernon informs you with a small smile. “From the look on your face, we can assume that he’s already brought you here though, right?”

You can’t even deny it at this point. “Yeah…”

Sohee moves to unlock the doors before glancing behind the driver’s seat with an encouraging look. “Well, how about you clear things upso we can start going on double dates and stuff.”

“Sohee,” her boyfriend groans.

“What? I think it’d be a great idea.” She pouts. “We can even rope Nari and Mingyu into tagging along. Then it’ll be a triple date.”

“What she means to say is,” Vernon cuts in before Sohee can get another word out. “No pressure. You go sort out the stuff you need to with Wonwoo-hyung. I’m sure the two of you can make the best decision for each other once you get to talk properly.”

The best decision, huh…

Your new friends watch you with wordless encouragement as you open the door to your left, letting out a long-winded breath so you wouldn’t be too psyched out by the circumstances. You thank them both with a subtle nod as you gather enough courage to see the person you’ve been longing to meet again for a while now.

Now or never, you repeat to yourself before finally stepping out of the car.

Wonwoo’s thinking spot looks much different in the day than it does at night.

You had a pretty hard time navigating the short terrain from the road to the old, weathered steps of the watchtower because of the lack of proper illumination. If it weren’t for Wonwoo guiding you the entire time, you would’ve face planted into the pebbled pathway on the first few steps. 

The sun is already setting when you make it to your destination—red orange rays splintering through the high rise buildings on the other side of the river bank. It’s not difficult to spot Wonwoo’s tall figure leaning across the rusty railing of the watchtower, a gentle smile gracing his handsome face as he plays with the growing kitten in his arms. 

He doesn’t notice you at the foot of the concrete steps right away, too engrossed with playing with Hani to take in the rest of his surroundings. But the longer you watch them from afar, the more your chest twists with guilt.

All this time, you never really thought about how Wonwoo must’ve been faring since you ghosted him. You merely assumed that he’d still be living his best life despite what happened between the two of you. The thought that he’ll still be better off without you in his life spurred you on to solely focus on the things you’ve got going on your end. You didn’t consider just how your actions would affect him. Not even once. 

But now, despite having such an adorable cat to keep him company, it isn’t hard to tell that he’s not in the most stellar of moods.

It’s not like you’ve seen Wonwoo smile a lot when you still knew him as Woo—no thanks to his silly little face masks. But you always liked how his eyes crinkled behind his glasses whenever you said something he finds funny or amusing. The easygoing body language he always seemed to have around you.

There’s none of that now.

“Wonwoo.”

He visibly stiffens at the sound of someone calling his name. Cautiously, Wonwoo tucks Hani closer to his chest—glancing around for anyone who could have infiltrated his safe haven.

When his eyes land on you, you can almost hear his breath hitch from where you’re standing.

Seeing no indication that he doesn’t want you here, you swallow the lump in your throat before climbing up the stairs. Each step you take is familiar yet foreign at the same time and you can hear your heart pounding in your ears the closer you get to him. The startled expression on Wonwoo’s face doesn’t falter even when you’re mere feet in front of him on top of the watchtower—like he’s having a hard time grasping your existence.

Hani, however, doesn’t seem all that fazed. The black kitten mewls in delight at the sight of you, squirming around in Wonwoo’s arms, which seems to snap her owner out of his stupor.

His throat bobs. “You know my name.”

You laugh softly. “It isn’t hard to figure it out when you’re as famous as you are.”

Silence permeates the air by the riverside as Wonwoo processes the words you just told him. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, hands absentmindedly running across Hani’s fur.

“So that’s why,” he chuckles with a shake of his head. “I should’ve known…”

You mirror the gesture somewhat vigorously, your throat closing up from all the things you want to say. He doesn’t deserve to be left hanging all because of that stupid reason alone. He doesn’t deserve those hurtful words from Mina.

Most of all, he doesn’t deserve to feel this shitty all because you were too much of a coward to communicate with him.

“I’m sorry.” 

He startles at your apology—obviously not expecting that to be the first thing you say to him after two months of radio silence. “W-Why are you sorry? I should be—”

“It was unfair of me to just ghost you like that when you haven’t explained yourself,” you murmur, tucking your hands behind your back as you stare down at your shoes in shame. “I’m sure you had your reasons for not telling me right away, but… I selfishly thought you didn’t trust me enough to let me know.”

“No,” he quickly clarifies. “It’s not like that at all. I trust you—so much.”

“I know,” you sigh. “It took me a while, but I realized that along the way. The last time we were here, you entrusted me with the story of how you coped with losing someone. You entrusted me with your thoughts, your feelings, your secrets. And I took all that for granted because you didn’t tell me you were an idol.”

Wonwoo falls silent for only a moment as if considering what words to say next. Hani seems to sense his distress, cuddling up to his chest in an attempt to soothe him. He notices what she’s doing right away and Wonwoo scratches behind her ears with a breathless chuckle.

“If it’s any consolation, I didn’t plan on hiding it forever. I knew you would find out eventually—just not as soon as you did,” he murmurs. “It was also unfair of me to take advantage of the fact that you didn’t know me as Wonwoo. But…I wanted to keep my career out of the equation first because it’s nice being treated like a normal person. You never put me on a pedestal or looked at me like I was some sort of god.

“You treated me like I was human.”

This time, you’re the one who’s at a loss for words. 

Having Haewon as a sister, you have this preconceived notion about idols where they have the world in the palm of their hands. You thought for the longest time that all they had to do was go up the stage to sing and dance and look beautiful and the rest will follow. 

Hearing Wonwoo tell you this easily subverted all those assumptions. 

You’ve never been good at telling people the things they need to hear. That’s Haewon’s area of expertise, not yours. So instead of offering up any words of comfort, you quickly close the distance that’s been keeping you apart to throw your arms around his broad shoulders.

Wonwoo freezes up when you pull him into a hug and he loathes the fact that he can’t even reciprocate it given that he has his hands full. It’s kind of adorable how careful you’re being to make sure you don’t accidentally squish Hani between your bodies. 

Suddenly, all that heaviness that’s been lingering in his heart for weeks dissipates in a flash. Wonwoo relishes in the feeling of your warmth seeping into his, resting his forehead on your shoulder as he holds back his emotions.

“Can we start over again?” you murmur. “We still haven’t had our first date, right?”

When you feel the sound of his laughter rumbling in his chest, you can’t help the goosebumps that rise across your skin. “Wow. I didn’t expect you to forgive me that fast.”

Pulling away for a moment, you shoot him a dirty look. “Jeon Wonwoo, are you saying I’m easy?”

“Not at all.” Wonwoo grins and you can barely look at him without recoiling at how good he looks. 

His hair has grown much longer than you remember and seeing the smile that oh-so easily hooked you in deeper than you already were, you already know that you can’t ever hope to put up a fight. 

Not when he’s so love-of-your-life-shaped.

“Since we’re at the point of catching up, I’m actually graduating in three weeks.”

Wonwoo sharply turns to look at you with a scowl as he puts Hani in a little cat backpack he got for her. “Three weeks? Shit… I think we’re going to have a concert at that time.”

You wave away his concern with a smile. “I didn’t mean I was expecting you to show up at the venue, doofus. Can’t have any weird rumors about you going around by attending my graduation.”

“Rumors about what?” he challenges.

“You know.”

“I actually don’t.”

“We just made up ten minutes ago, Do you really want me to bail on you again?”

“Hey, I just thought that if you ever want to spark some dating rumors, we can make it happen any time.” 

“We’re not even dating!”

“Not yet.”

“What?”

“It’s just like you said—I still owe you that first date, don’t I?”

“...Have I told you that you’re insufferable?”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t start calling me that when I kept visiting the shelter too often to be considered normal.”

“That reminds me, why were you visiting the shelter so much?”

When Wonwoo hands you Hani’s cat backpack, you take it as an invitation to hitch a ride on his motorcycle. After all, it would be uncomfortable to have it sitting between the two of you. However, he takes you completely by surprise by answering you with:

“I like you. That’s why.”

It takes you about five whole seconds to recover from what he just said but it’s five seconds too late because Wonwoo is already chuckling to himself as if he deserves to have the last laugh.

“You’re lucky that I like you too,” you mumble as you carefully hop on his ride—sitting comfortably behind him while making sure Hani is strapped securely behind you. “If I didn’t, Mina would’ve made our boss file a restraining order against you.”

Wonwoo hands you a spare helmet before putting on his own, laughing again as he clicks the lock in place. “Dating rumors and stalking rumors? Being with you sounds like such a big hassle now.”

“Are we going on that first date or not?!”

Two months after graduating and four weeks into officially dating Jeon Wonwoo, you find out the real reason he was taking so damn long to make up his mind about adopting Hani.

The landlord doesn’t prohibit pets—he loves them, actually. 

His dog, Seol, is a little shy, but she gets along with Hani just fine.

But then his old roommate, Mingyu, dropped by to visit Wonwoo’s apartment one day, sneezing all over the place like it’s pollen season. Except the pollen in question is cat fur and it just so happens that he didn’t bring any of his allergy meds for the trip.

“As much as I want to cuddle on the couch catching up on the Marvel Cinematic Universe with you guys, I gotta go,” Mingyu explains while blowing his nose into a tissue. “I’ll die if I spend even a second longer here.”

Wonwoo throws a piece of popcorn at him. “Didn’t you say that you’re going on a date with Nari?”

“Oh. That, too.”

“If she finds out that you just remembered as an afterthought, she’s going to kill you,” you tease while shoving a handful of your movie snacks into your mouth. “At least, that’s what I’d do if Wonwoo did the same thing.”

“Oh, she will. That’s why neither of you are going to tattle on me,” the beefy idol huffs before tossing the soiled tissue in the trash bin. “Anyway, Wonwoo-hyung, you should totally keep in touch with this pet sitter that Seungcheol-hyung discovered recently. A bunch of other artists leave their pets with her whenever they have tight schedules.”

Your boyfriend merely looks at him with an unimpressed look. “Are you saying that just so I can leave Hani there when you come over to play video games with me?”

“Yes.”

Mingyu leaves shortly after receiving a phone call from his girlfriend, Nari, who sounded nothing short of furious when she asked where on earth he is and why he’s late for their date again. Wonwoo tells you that his best friend has a thing for pissing off Nari just so he has an excuse to do grand gestures for her without his girlfriend complaining about it. You tell him that he should start doing the same too.

“By the way, you’re flying back to Jeju for a while, right?” Wonwoo asks once the credits start rolling in the film playing on his TV—the loose grip he has around your waist tightening ever-so slightly.

You shift your weight on the couch to cuddle closer to him. “Yeah. I haven’t seen my parents and Haewon since I graduated. Plus, I don’t have to start working until next month, so I can afford a last-minute getaway.”

He nods. “I still think it’s funny you haven’t told your sister about me. Are you ashamed of me or something?”

“Quit saying weird stuff, Jeon Wonwoo,” you huff before hitting him in the chest. Damn those firm pecs. “I just want to see the look on her face when she finds out I’m dating the person she ships with Mingyu for fun.”

“And I still can’t believe my future sister-in-law is a Gyuldaengie.”

You try not to think about how he said Haewon is his future in-law. You really do.

Once the last of the end credits pans on-screen, the bonus scene at the end of every Marvel movie starts playing and you can’t help but snort when Eddy gets snapped back to his own universe before he can even pay off his tab to the bartender. Just when you’re about to ask Wonwoo if he wants to watch the next movie, you realize he’s had his eyes on you the entire time.

“What?” you laugh.

“Nothing,” he whispers. “I just thought you were really pretty.”

“Wonwoo, you tell me that every thirty minutes. Don’t you get tired of it?”

You yelp when he abruptly pulls you onto his lap, steadying you by the hips so you wouldn’t accidentally topple to the floor. He flashes you a lazy grin as he traces circles along the curve of your thighs and you can barely suppress a groan when you look down at him.

He might look like some otherworldly creature every time he kills it on stage, but you love this Wonwoo just the same—dressed down with his glasses sitting all crooked on the bridge of his nose, hair falling across his eyes. 

“Never,” he says simply. 

There’s something oddly sensual about the way he says it and at that moment, you catch on to the half-lidded look in his eyes. You gulp, gaze instinctively wandering around his apartment to look for Hani and Seol, who you spot dozing next to each other in the kitchen. 

Now that you’re sure none of the kids are watching, you let out a defeated sigh before lacing your arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss him.

Wonwoo is a guy you caved and kissed before the first date, so it’s pretty natural for the two of you to fall into this degree of intimacy every now and again. His effect on you is especially lethal whenever you spend several days apart because of the nature of his career. 

But even if you’re yet to cross that line with your boyfriend, the possibility of it finally coming into fruition becomes more and more real every time his hot tongue slides against yours. 

“Won…woo—” you gasp when you feel his cold fingers sneak up your shirt, hands firmly grabbing your waist to keep you in place. 

Your boyfriend chuckles and the low vibrations that come from his chest shoot straight to your core. “I know tonight was supposed to be movie night, but you’re making it really hard to keep my hands off of you.” 

“That’s what you say all the time,” you groan as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs. Fuck. “Always blaming me for your lack of self-control.”

“I can’t help it when you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against your lips before tugging you back down for another heated kiss.

You’ve fooled around with Wonwoo a handful of times and during said times, you’ve gotten an idea of how…into it he gets when pleasuring you. It’s almost as if he delights in seeing you come undone for him even if it’s just with his mouth and fingers. 

It’s during those moments that you can’t help but imagine how he would be once the two of you finally take things all the way. But for all your teasing about how he has questionable self-control, Wonwoo has done nothing but respect the boundaries you’ve clearly set when you started dating. 

“Fuck,” he rasps when he pulls away briefly, resting his head against the cushions of the sofa as he closes his eyes. “Baby, we’ve gotta stop or else I might just cave and fuck you.”

You simper. “You’re the one who started this.”

“Yeah, and that’s why I’m putting a stop to it before I end up doing something you don’t like!”

You shift around on his lap for a moment and Wonwoo is convinced that you’ll give him some reprieve and get off of him before he loses his mind. But then he realizes you’re grinding your hips against the hard-on he’s sporting in his sweats. 

Chuckling to yourself, you pull him by the front of his shirt—pressing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before leaning into his ear to whisper:

“What if I want you to fuck me, Woo?”

The deep growl that resonates in his throat sounds so fucking hot, you can feel a gush of slick surge between your thighs. He doesn’t say a word—merely opting to keep his hard stare on yours as he wraps your legs around his waist. You immediately get the gist and hold on tight to him as he carries you out of the living room and into his bedroom.

“I’m giving you a chance to back out again, sweetheart,” he sighs as he kicks the door shut behind him. “Think you can handle it when I get serious about fucking you until you can’t walk?”

The mental image he conjures in your head has you mewling in his arms, prompting you to pepper his neck with sloppy kisses as he gropes your ass like it’s always belonged to him. 

“Think you can actually make good on that though?” you challenge with a soft chuckle, grazing your teeth just below his collarbone. You won’t bite—knowing that his stylists will give him hell for it if he shows up to work with hickeys. “We both know you like to talk big sometimes.”

Wonwoo breathes out a condescending chuckle before gently easing you on top of the mattress. You didn’t think it was possible, but you swear you get even wetter when he takes off his glasses and licks his lips at the sight of you.

“Oh, baby, you’re in for a fucking ride.”

That’s how you find yourself with your back pressed against Wonwoo’s insanely sculpted chest—both your mouth and pussy stuffed with his thick fingers as he works you open enough to take his cock. He slides those thick digits in and out of your wet channel, making sure you get used to the stretch all while he muffles your noises at the same time. 

Normally, he likes hearing you get whiney and desperate for him, but there’s a charm to seeing you slobber all over his fingers as you clench up around the ones buried in your pussy. 

“Fuck, baby. So goddamn tight for me,” he whispers huskily in your ear and the sound of his rough voice layered with the lewd squelch of your cunt makes your insides tingle. “Been thinking about having this pretty pussy all to myself for a while now. You gonna let me have it now, baby? Let me wreck you on my cock?”

Wonwoo easily has the hottest voice you’ve ever heard in your entire life. While you often think about how you can fall asleep happily just listening to him talk about anything under the sun, it’s an entirely different story when he’s spouting all this filth into your ear as he prepares you for an overdue dicking down. 

“Yes, please—” You sob pathetically when he takes his fingers out of your mouth, curling your arm behind you so you can blindly grab his hair and mend your lips into a messy kiss. “Wonwoo, I need you so bad.”

“Desperate little thing,” your boyfriend chuckles before withdrawing his fingers from your needy hole. The loss has you writhing in his lap, one hand shooting out to keep him where you want him but Wonwoo coos into your ear as if to pacify you. “Shhh, baby, I need you to come first before I fuck you. You’ll be good for me and let me make you come, right?” 

Shit. Who are you to refuse when he propositions you like that?

“I need an answer, sweetheart.”

“I’ll be good,” you gasp almost immediately as your boyfriend starts parting your pussy lips with the hand that was muffling your cute noises. “I’ll be so good for you, please just—”

“Just what, baby?” Wonwoo teases and you nearly cry.

“M-Make me come on your fingers…”

He hums, slick fingers gliding along your slit. “Not if you don’t say—”

“Please,” you whimper before grinding your pussy against his hand. “Wonwoo, I wanna come. Wanna come so bad. Want you to stuff me full of your cock. Want you to—” 

It’s almost like he tapped in on every single nerve ending in your body when his dexterous fingers find your clit—rubbing the puffy bud in fast, tight circles as you start twitching in his arms. Wonwoo lets out another evil laugh as he forcibly pries your legs apart. The firmness of his grip leaves you no choice but to thrash around as he builds your orgasm from the ground up, trailing wet kisses along the column of your throat as he teases an orgasm out of you with the sound of his voice coupled with his sinful ministrations.

“So wet and ready for me. Have you thought about taking me inside this sweet little pussy? Do you think you can even fit me when you’re this tight?” he breathes into your ear and you don’t even have the dignity to bite down your moans anymore. “You’re so close, sweetheart. Let yourself go and I’ll give you what you want. I’ll blow your pretty back out over and over until you’re sick of me.”

Never, you want to tell him. I’ll never get sick of you, stupid Wonwoo.

Funnily enough, that silent jab at him is quickly followed by a mind-numbing release. It washes over you like a storm surging into a calm shore—overloading every cell in your body with pleasure until the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a broken rendition of your lover’s name. 

Wonwoo talks you through your high because he knows you’ve got a thing for his voice. Knows just how much tighter you get when he whispers filthy words with a sultry sweet tone. 

And when he growls, “Good fucking girl,” into your ear, you’re convinced he just made you come again while still riding the waves of your first orgasm. 

For all his vigor, Wonwoo is surprisingly patient with you as you recover from what he just put you through. He plants brief kisses all over your neck and face until your breathing finally evens out and you stop seeing stars in the seams of your vision. Your boyfriend offers up a gentle smile when you finally come to—leaning in to kiss your nose.

“You still want more?” he whispers, exercising enough restraint to be revered despite the fact that you can feel his hard, leaking cock pressed against the small of your back. 

A soft, somewhat weak laugh makes its way past your lips as you turn around to peck his lips. Wonwoo smiles against your mouth and you can’t help but do the same.

Then, you issue another challenge.

“Do your worst.”

You’re grateful now more than ever that Wonwoo is the easiest person to talk to in the entire world. You can practically count the things that he wouldn’t want to discuss with you on one hand alone. 

In other words, you’ve already had the necessary conversations about sex, should you ever have it with him in the future (A.K.A., right now). Wonwoo knows you’ve been on birth control ever since you moved to Seoul all those years ago. He knows that you get yourself tested at least once every month if you can and assures you that he does the same.

On the other hand, you’re well aware that your boyfriend has a thing for coming inside, and now that you’ve gone this far with him, you’ll gladly let Wonwoo make his fantasies a reality. 

He only agreed to it once you promised to tell him whenever you feel like he’s going too far or if he’s doing something you don’t like. You swear you would’ve married him on the spot, if it weren’t for that tiny voice in your head that suspiciously sounds like Haewon telling you off for losing it over a man who’s doing the bare minimum.

With those measures in place, you feel safe enough to let Wonwoo press your face down onto the mattress as his free hand grips your ass—fucking into your tight cunt as he tries (and fails) to keep himself from being too rough with you. 

He really, really wanted to be gentle, considering it’s your first time to lie together like this. But your unfiltered reactions do nothing but test both his patience and self-control in more ways than one. All his plans on making love to you in good old missionary have been tossed out of the window now that you’ve given him the green light to actually fuck you until you can’t walk.

“Wonwoo,” you moan, fists curling into the sheets as he cants his hips deeper and deeper—the head of his cock hitting spots your own fingers could never hope to reach. “S-So fucking good…”

“Yeah?” he breathes raspily before leaning down to press his chest against your back, wanting to engulf you in the heat of his body until it’s all you’ll ever know. “My pretty baby loves my cock that much? You want me to fuck you all the time now?”

“Uh huh.” You nod before letting out a high pitched keen when he amps up the speed of his thrusts—slamming his hips harder against your ass.

Wonwoo thinks he could really get used to the sight of your pretty pussy sucking him in like this. You’re so greedy—clamping down on him as tightly as you do as you moan his name like it’s the only word in your vocabulary. But how could you not when each vein that runs along the underside of his perfect cock drags so deliciously across your velvet walls? When his balls—hot and heavy and full of enough cum to fill you to the brim—keep clapping against your pussy with each powerful thrust?

It’s the first time that you got to get a taste of what your boyfriend is capable of in bed and you can only imagine every instance that will follow once all’s said and done.

When he feels your walls start to spasm around his length every now and again, Wonwoo presses a sloppy kiss across the cut of your jaw—a hand sliding between your thighs so he can find that little bundle of nerves that made you fall apart only several minutes ago. Your reaction is immediate—crying and squirming below him even when you’re helpless against his massive frame pressing you down into the bed. 

“I’m so close, baby,” he groans into your ear, holding out for as long as he can just so he can feel the sensation of you coming around his cock. “You’re almost there, too, aren’t you? My good girl—taking my dick like it’s always been yours. Can you come with me? You can do that for me, right, sweetheart?”

The fondness in his voice strings you even further apart and you’re nothing but a mess of pleasure and delirium as Wonwoo continues his assault on your poor, abused clit. He knows just the right amount of pressure to use and manages to time his thrusts with each delicious pass on that oversensitive bud.  

It’s all over before you know it. 

You let out a long-winded moan that will definitely earn him a couple of noise complaints from the neighbors but Wonwoo doesn’t have it in him to fucking care at the moment. Not when your walls are clamping down so tightly around his cock—making each stroke all the more tantalizing as your pussy milks him for everything he’s got to give you. 

You mindlessly babble a string of I love yous against the sheets, a trail of drool dripping onto the mattress as Wonwoo fucks into you with heightened ferocity. He catches every single word you say and he tilts your head to the side so he can kiss you. Your boyfriend forces your tongue into a dance with his own until his hips stutter and stop—white hot emission surging into your cunt in thick spurts that he hopes would stay inside you for days if he can help himself.

You’re a mess—face painted with a fucked out expression as your pussy leaks with a mixture of yours and Wonwoo’s cum. The mere sight of it is almost enough to make him hard again, but he tells himself that he can take you up on marathon sex next time.

For now, he just wants to clean you up and tuck you back into bed.

“Woo?”

He turns to face you with a questioning look. Your boyfriend just finished with your mandatory aftercare session and is in the middle of making the bed comfortable enough for some post-sex cuddles. “Hmm?”

“You’re still free next week right?” you ask, drawing silly shapes on his chest with your finger once he finally lays down next to you.

“Yeah. I don’t have any major schedules until…” He pauses before conjuring up an imaginary calendar in his mind. “Next month. Why?”

Despite all the debauchery you’ve subjected each other to in a single night, your face still flushes as you consider what you’re about to ask him. Wonwoo smiles at that. Cute.

“How do you feel about flying to Jeju with me so I can introduce you to my family?” you ask shyly, gulping with a nervous laugh. “I totally get it if your management won’t allow it though. It’s hard to keep the media off your back when you’re so famous and—”

He doesn’t do this often, but Wonwoo shuts you up with a firm kiss.

“What are you talking about?” he murmurs, caressing your face tenderly. “Of course I want to meet them.”

When your eyes light up at his confirmation, Wonwoo swears that he couldn’t be more in love.

Me [11:23]: hae, i’ve got good news~

Haewon 🪷 [11:24]: You’re bringing Mingyu with you to Jeju so we can get married?

Me [11:26]: very funny

Me [11:26]: not to spoil your delusions or anything but i’m bringing my boyfriend

Haewon 🪷 [11:30]: Omg… 

Haewon 🪷 [11:30]: Rudeness aside, is it the same guy from before? 

Me [11:31]: yep

 Haewon 🪷 [11:32]: AAAAAAAAA

 Haewon 🪷 [11:32]: I can’t wait to meet him!

 Haewon 🪷 [11:34]: He better be treating you right or I’ll drop kick him off Jusangjeollidae

Me [11:40]: you’ve already met him though~

Haewon 🪷 [11:41]: ?

Haewon 🪷 [11:45]: Unnie, what do you mean…

Haewon 🪷 [12:32]: Hey!!!!

⟢ end notes: if you've made it til the end, congrats! this is the last of the doting on you! series (for now~) and i really hope you enjoyed reading through it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! special thanks to all the friends that read through this for me T T i wouldn't have done it without any of you ueueue and to everyone that has been patiently waiting for me to put up the last installment for the series, thank you for waiting <3 i hope you guys continue to support me with my future work as well!

“Now?”

“No time like the present, right?”

“Let’s talk tomorrow.”

“It is tomorrow.”

“Is it that important?”

“I need to tell you something.” It seems that there’s no escaping this so you figure it might well be a conversation held in a comfortable spot. 

“I need to tell you something too,” you admit. 

“I’ll set up the living room.” It doesn’t take long for Wonwoo to bring your favorite blanket to the couch and you figure you might as well make some hot chocolate while talking and waiting for the cookies to finish baking. You both settle on the living room couch, sitting on opposite ends yet still facing each other. Normally, you’d be directly next to him but you can’t quite bring yourself to sit there right now. 

“Who should go first?” you ask. Wonwoo grows quiet, thinking it over until finally.

“You can.” You’re not entirely sure how to express all the thoughts running through your mind right now nor do you know just how much this is going to affect your friendship. There’s not exactly a right way to say things given that this was surprisingly sprung up you. 

“You know how your cousin invited me to lunch on Tuesday?” 

“Yeah?”

“She… well, I mean. She kinda, I don’t know it was- sheaskedmewhenwe’regettingmarried.” The words come out all rushed and mumbled from you. 

“Huh?” Taking in a deep breath, now that you’ve said it once it doesn’t feel so weird saying it again. 

“Your cousin asked me when we’re getting married.” Wonwoo’s reaction is one that you don’t quite expect. With the Wonwoo you know, you would’ve thought he’d roll his eyes and say something along the lines of “as if I’d marry you” or maybe even “how about when we’re 30 and single” which would’ve led to the two of you laughing it off but instead, he lets out out sigh of relief. 

“Ok, I’m glad.”

“Huh?” Now you’re the one confused.

“Last Friday, your parents came to my work.”

“What, why? Did they bother you? They didn’t tell me, I-” 

“It’s ok, you know they’re always welcome to see me. If anything, I think they like me better than you.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at Wonwoo’s second statement. He’s not entirely wrong given how your mom tends to come over with Wonwoo’s favorite homemade meals rather than yours. 

“What did you guys talk about?” Wonwoo clears his throat, eyes averting from yours as he feels heat rising to his cheeks. 

“They, uhh. They gave me their permission to marry you.” It takes a moment for Wonwoo’s words to process in your head,

“My parents gave you permission to marry me?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait isn’t it- isn’t it, supposed to be the other way around? Like you asking them for permission to marry me.” There’s a light chuckle that escapes Wonwoo with a slight nod. 

“Usually, yeah, I think? But they kinda just said that we’ve been taking things far too slow at this point.”

“We’re not even dating!” 

“Everyone thinks we are.”

“Who the hell is everyone?”

“After I talked with your parents, I texted my group chat with the guys and they all kinda called me out for not having realized it earlier on.” 

“So all this time we’ve been dating but didn’t know it?”

“According to everyone else, yeah.” At that, there’s a chime that comes from the kitchen signifying that the cookies are ready to be taken out. You’re just about to get up when Wonwoo tells you that he’ll get it for you. With you left in the kitchen, you turn to Google for some advice searching up: signs you’re dating someone and didn’t know it.

A wikiHow link titled “19 Signs You Are Unofficially Dating” appears and you decide to read it. Wonwoo comes back with the cookies on the plate for you both. You move closer to him so that the two of you can read the article together. 

NUMBER ONE: YOU’VE BOTH RECOGNIZED THAT YOU’VE GOT CHEMISTRY

“What is this chemistry referring to?” he asks while munching on a cookie. 

“Logically, it’d mean liking each other.”

“Sorry, all these years I’ve hated you,” he says sarcastically. 

“Have you ever felt like- I don’t know? Butterflies in your stomach when I get close to you or tingles or something?”

“Are you supposed to be carrying electricity with you?”

“Just answer the question!” 

“Yeah, I have.”

“Really?”

“Of course I have, it’d be impossible not to.” 

“Like when?”

“Like now. The way you’re cuddled up so close to me like you always do and there’s this feeling in my chest almost like I can’t breathe because of how close we are together.” You wonder if you’d be able to hear Wonwoo’s heartbeat if you rested your head on his chest. 

“Oh.”

“Have you?”

“Have I?”

“Felt something around me, I mean.” With the conversation shifting to you, you figure now is as good of a time to be honest if any. 

“In the mornings when one of us is making breakfast and you talk in your morning voice and wear your glasses it just feels kinda so domestic and I like it.”

NUMBER TWO: YOU TALK ABOUT YOURSELF AS THOUGH YOU’RE A COUPLE

“I’ve done this,” Wonwoo admits. 

“Me too, we’re kind of like a package deal at this point.” 

“We’ve always been a package deal.” There’s something deeper to Wonwoo's words but you don’t allow yourself to dwell on it for too long. 

NUMBER THREE: YOU CALL OR TEXT EACH OTHER CONSTANTLY

“We live together, it’s only natural for us to have frequent communication,” you say. 

“Valid.” You glance up at Wonwoo, the two of you now laying down on the couch together to be more comfortable and you reach out to fix part of his hair. 

“You’re my emergency contact.” There’s a smile that graces his lips, a little sleepy but you’ve got 16 more things to go through. 

“You’re mine too.” 

NUMBER FOUR: YOU CAN’T KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER

For a moment, you freeze and realize just what position you and Wonwoo have taken. You’ve both settled to laying down on the couch with you on top of him with your phone in your hand. It’s almost second nature for you two to be like this with movie or game nights together. Or even in the kitchen when you cook together.

Neither of you say a word about this one. 

Nor do you make an attempt to move.

NUMBER FIVE: YOU SHARE PICTURES OF EACH OTHER ON SOCIAL MEDIA 

“You’ve taken most of the photos that I’ve posted,” Wonwoo says. 

“We go out together a lot.” 

“Because you’re always sending me links to new places you want to try.”

“More like places I want you to get me free food from,” you tease.

“Moving on…” 

NUMBER SIX: YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME TOGETHER

“We literally just established this is true.”

“Mhm,” Wonwoo chimes in agreement. 

NUMBER SEVEN: YOU GET MISTAKEN FOR A COUPLE

“Also true,” he adds, “with our parents and all.” 

NUMBER EIGHT: YOU WONDER ABOUT THEIR OPINION

“Do you care about anyone’s opinion?” you ask curiously. For as long as you’ve known Wonwoo, he’s always been indifferent about things. There’s a quiet confidence he’s always carried with him and he tends to blaze through life on his own terms. 

“I care about yours.”

“Really?” 

“Sometimes I think about whether or not you’d like my glasses frames or my outfit for the day.” 

“You look good in anything, Wonu.” 

“It’d be nice to hear it from time to time,” he says with a huff. Smiling at your best friend, you offer a slight nod.

“I’ll tell you more often then.”  

NUMBER NINE: YOU HAVE PET NAMES FOR EACH OTHER

“You’ve always called me love but I never learned why.” Wonwoo’s gaze is settled on you an eyebrow raised slightly.

“I never told you?”

“No.” 

The first time you met Jeon Wonwoo was when you were only 6 years old at the neighborhood palyground. You were standing at the top of the slides, not quite ready to go down because of how tall everything was. Wonwoo was right behind you and despite how often he frequented the playground, he’d never seen you before. 

“What’s your name?” he asks. You stare at the boy—he’s a little shorter than you and he’s almost kind of cute. After telling him your name, you learn that he is,

“Wonu?” you ask.

“Won-woo,” he repeats. 

“Wonu!” Wonwoo lets it slide (unaware that the nickname will follow him for the rest of his life). 

“Love!” he says excitedly as he looks at you. At only 6 years old, neither you nor Jeon Wonwoo actually know what the four worded concept entails (you will one day, just not today). In Wonwoo’s mind, it’s how his father refers to his mother and something in him wants to use the word in reference to you.

NUMBER TEN: YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT OLD EXES

Reading this causes you and Wonwoo to go silent. When you think about your love life, you’ve never actually had an ex. Sure you’ve been on your fair share of dates here and there and have even gone through a few situationships but things were never serious enough for you to consider or even want to enter a relationship with someone. Aside from Wonwoo as your best friend, your focus has always been on academics or work and you never had time for much else. You’re not entirely sure about things on Wonwoo’s end—there was a period of time when you were separated from each other due to attending different colleges and Wonwoo joined a frat (which led him to the friendships he has even until today). 

“I’ve never been in a relationship,” Wonwoo admits. 

“Not even in college?” 

“Especially not in college. I was too busy missing you.” 

NUMBER ELEVEN: YOU LEAVE YOUR THINGS OVER AT THEIR PLACE

“We live together now,” you say. 

“What about when we didn’t?” he asks. 

“You always had a pair of your glasses at my place back all throughout middle school and high school.”

“You hoard all your damn plushies in my room right now.”

“Excuse me, they’re our children!”  

NUMBER TWELVE: YOU’RE EACH OTHER’S GO-TO PERSON

“I think the most recent case of this was my brother’s wedding last month,” Wonwoo says. 

Earlier this year, Wonwoo asked you a question while you were making dinner together.

“Do you want meat, fish, or vegetarian for your dish?” 

“I’m literally making us dinner right now,” you reply. 

“For my brother’s wedding, I mean. He just sent out the invites and you’re my plus one, he put your name and everything.” 

“Since when?”

“We’ve always been each other’s plus one.” He’s not entirely wrong, whenever there was an event coming up whether it be family or work-related, you usually invite the other to come with.

“Fish,” you answer. “You choose meat and then we can try each other’s.” 

Just last month, the wedding took place. It was a fun event where you and Wonwoo got all dressed up and took photos together at a fancy venue. The event was filled with catching up with Wonwoo’s family and lots of good food (you might’ve not so subtly stolen a few bites from Wonwoo’s plate). There was also a lot of dancing and as the night was coming to a close, the host announced that the final dance of the night would be a slow dance. You look around and find your best friend sitting down at your table. 

“Wanna dance?” you ask once you’re standing in front of him. He takes in the sight of you, hair a little messy from all the dancing you’ve participated in throughout the night yet there’s still that smile on  your face he’ll never grow tired of. A part of him wonders how you still have the energy to ask him to dance. 

“Not really,” comes his reply. Rolling your eyes at your best friend, you sigh. 

“Fine, if you don’t dance with me then I’ll find someone who will.” Before you can even make it one step away, a familiar hand intertwines with your own and Wonwoo brings you closer to him. With how he’s still seated, you end up between his legs and watch as he looks up at you. 

“Like hell, you will, love,” he mutters. There’s a certain possessiveness to his tone, one that you find yourself welcoming. 

“You just said you don’t wanna dance.”

“Doesn’t mean that I won’t if it’s with you.” Perhaps that’s one of the things that makes Wonwoo so different from everyone. There’s this push and pull between the two of you and you’ve always had a soft spot for the other. You reach out to fix part of his hair.

“Don’t make me ask twice, Wonu.” At that, there’s a smile that graces his lips as he stands up. 

“Then, let’s dance.” 

The last song of the night begins to play, couples make their way to the dance floor. Slow dancing isn’t your forte and quite honestly, you’ve never really understood the appeal of just swaying with a person. Wonwoo holds one hand in yours while the other rests on your lower back with a gentleness you weren’t aware he possessed. You’re not entirely sure where to look—staring straight ahead right into his chest seems awkward so the only choice you really do have is to look up and—oh.

Wonwoo’s already looking at you, behind those black-rimmed frames is a fond gaze. 

“Tired?” he asks. The words are spoken in a low tone, careful not to break away from the ambiance of the song and quartet. 

“A little. But at least we got to dance.”

NUMBER THIRTEEN: YOU’VE MET THEIR FRIENDS OR FAMILY

“You’re practically family at this point, my nieces and nephews consider you their uncle.” 

“You made them call me Uncle Wonu!” 

“It suits you well and it’s easier to pronounce.” 

NUMBER FOURTEEN: YOU WAIT TO SEE MOVIES OR GO TO EVENTS TOGETHER

“We tend to have movie nights together,” you say before shifting a little to be more comfortable. 

“Point number twelve also applies.” 

NUMBER SIXTEEN: YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH ONE ANOTHER 

“I’d say this is pretty comfortable,” Wonwoo mumbles into your hair. 

“Being with you always is.” 

NUMBER SEVENTEEN: YOU CAN TELL SEX IS MORE THAN JUST PHYSICAL

This point of the article causes you to think back to a time you and Wonwoo never actually addressed after it happened. 

Your senior year of high school was full of both hardships and good memories. It was the year you’d become an adult and the year you’d truly have to think about the future. Also, it was the year you and Wonwoo lost your virginities to each other. It was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing—caught up in desire and each other and one thing led to another. Wonwoo’s touches were laced with gentleness, constantly asking you if things were ok and that it could stop any moment should you just say the word. You were both a little inexperienced both in love and life but there’s no one else you’d rather have your first time with.

“We never talked about it after it happened,” Wonwoo breathes out. 

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” Wonwoo answers without hesitation. “Do you?” 

“No,” you answer with a shake of your head. 

“I’m glad my first time was with you.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” he teases. Rolling your eyes,

“You know what I meant.”

“Ask away.” 

“I know you said you haven’t been in a relationship but what about hookups?” 

“I- I won’t, I won’t lie. Not recently but I did have a few hookups here and there during my frat boy phase.” Wonwoo’s admission hurts your heart more than you expect it to but you can’t exactly blame him since you’ve always been just friends to each other. “Does it bother you?” 

“No. It’s all the past.” You’re honest about it, snuggling in closer to Wonwoo whose hand rests on your waist and you’re nearing the end of the article.

NUMBER EIGHTEEN: YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE THE “DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP” TALK, THEY’D BE COOL

“We’re kinda having that talk right now,” you hear Wonwoo say.  

“To be honest, I was kinda scared to talk about the whole marriage thing.”

“Why?” 

“Because it would mean changing things between us.”

“Has it?”

“It means putting a label on things.” 

“Whether we’re romantically together or not, you’ll always be my best friend.” 

NUMBER NINETEEN: YOU MAKE PLANS FOR THE FUTURE

“I can’t imagine a future without you in it.” You didn’t think you could love your best friend more until he uttered such words. Now that you’re in your 20s, you’ve reached the stage of your life where everyone around you is falling in love and settling down.

“I guess we have been dating all these years, huh?” There’s a laugh that escapes you at the thought but you’re not entirely opposed to spending the rest of your life with the man who's always been by your side. 

“In the eyes of an outsider yes, but for us I’m gonna do this right.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“We’re gonna go through the whole dating process, you deserved to be wooed and officially asked things. We shouldn’t just put a label on us because of assumptions.” 

“Officially?”

“Mhm, and I am officially asking you to go on a date with me tomorrow night.” 

“Seems a little backward, Wonu.” 

“Please, just let me Won-woo you,” he mutters. 

“Whatever you say. Just don’t make me wait too long, yeah?” he nods, arms wrapping around you tighter. 

“We were planning on going out for the day. Let's make it our first official date.”

“I look forward to officially going out with you then.”

Soon enough, you and Wonwoo fall asleep together on the living room couch. 

jeonghan was notorious for his playfulness. you're all too familiar with his constant teasing, the light-hearted back and forth that makes up most of the conversations you have with him and the occasional flirtatious words and actions he'd slip in here and there.

he's always been a physically affectionate person. holding your hand, giving you cuddles, lots and lots of hugs, placing one hand on the small of your back and pressing fleeting kisses to the top of your head after walking you to your classes — all platonic of course. or at least you'd thought.

because that's just how he is and you don't want to read too much into it. you try your hardest not to assume, too afraid of what the outcome will be once you allow yourself to fall.

but you'd never let anyone know that you do get flustered on the days where he gets more affectionate than he normally was.

you'd never let anyone know that you'd spent one too many nights lying on your bed awake as you let your thoughts run wild, allowing yourself to imagine what the two of you could be and thinking about all the 'what ifs'.

butterflies form in the pit of your tummy when he jokingly calls you "babe" and pulls on your hands as he whines and tries to coax you into joining one of his many outrageous bets.

"what's in it for me?" you question, raising a brow at him.

"i'll give you a kiss."

there's that smirk. the one that you absolutely hate because all it does is makes you wonder if he's actually being serious or if this is just another one of his never-ending jokes.

"who said i wanted your kiss?" you roll your eyes at him and try to pry him off you.

you don't try too hard though, knowing you'll miss his touch when he does actually move away from you.

"come on." he pushes again, snuggling into your side and his face is now next to your flushed one.

and you give in because of course you do, you always do.

the day everything changes begins like any other monday for you.

you go to your classes then head back to jeonghan's place to hang out.

laying on the couch with your legs hanging over his thighs, a box of cold pizza on the table before you, you munch on a slice as you search for something to watch on the tv.

"why aren't we dating?" he ponders out loud while looking straight ahead at the tv as if the question isn't even directed at you.

you choke on your food and jeonghan starts laughing.

your eyes are wide, mouth hanging open when you turn to him. "excuse me? what did you say?"

"i asked why aren't we dating?" he repeats with a straight face.

"are you being serious right now?"

he shrugs, expression unchanging. "i mean i like you and i think— no i know you like me too, so why aren't we dating?"

"you like me?" your voice suddenly a pitch higher as you sit up.

"mmhmm," he hums then chuckles softly and continues chewing on his pizza as if he hadn't just dropped a bomb on you.

his confession catches you so off guard, which in hindsight is on you because you should have known better than to let your guard down around someone like him. you freeze and are at a loss for words as you try to process the information and in true jeonghan fashion, he moves onto the next topic, pointing out something silly that was playing on the tv.

neither of you bring up the conversation again for the rest of the night.

jeonghan finds himself outside the hall waiting for your last class of the day to end and he jogs toward you when he spots you among the crowd of people exiting the place.

you feel his fingers curl around your hand before you even notice him there.

"what are you doing here? you don't even have classes today." you move your arm to keep the stack of books from sliding off.

"i'm fulfilling my boyfriend duties," he reaches over to take the books from you before leading you out of the hallway.

you squint your eyes at him, "when did you become my boyfriend?"

jeonghan sighs, "are you really that forgetful?"

"are you delusional?" you counter with a head tilt.

he stops the both of you in your tracks before locking eyes with you, a teasing look on his face, "did you forget about last night when we were on my couch?"

"i didn't forget but please remind me which part specifically was it that made you my boyfriend?"

and there's that smirk again. the smirk you used to despise but have now grown so fond of even if it always makes you doubt whatever comes after.

"the part where you didn't reject me."

your apartment was right next to the bus stop, so you could easily avoid the rain. however, on your way there you faced some problems. there had been a car accident on the road, making the bus take a different route. you would still be able to get off at the bus stop that was a block away from wonwoo's apartment, but it would take longer to get there. the seats were weirdly comfortable, and you were starting to feel sleepy. of course, when you actually get out of bed is when you'd be able to fall asleep. to keep yourself awake you took out your phone to text wonwoo. the bus had to take a different route due to an accident on the road :/ the three dots, indicating that wonwoo was typing, appeared quickly after your message was sent. he was always quick to answer your text, and tonight you were especially thankful for it. damn.. are you okay? his concern struck you as odd. it wasn't as if you had said that you were in the accident. nevertheless, you decided to not question it. yeah, just annoyed. i'll be at your place 10 minutes later than expected, okay? he responded with an "ok" and a thumbs up emoji. you smiled. with him, messages were alway short and to the point. in the beginning of your friendship, maybe six or seven years ago, you would constantly complain about the lack of emojis in his texts. since then he started using them consistently, even going overboard sometimes to annoy you. with a sigh, you put your phone down and looked out the window. the rain was still pouring, and you were still thinking of best friend in ways that one wouldn't normally do. you thought about when the two of you would sit right next to each other on the couch while having a movie night. at the end of the movie the two of you always ended up laying snuggled up together somehow. you thought about how he would sometimes grab your hand when crossing the road, because you hadn't noticed the lights turning green. you thought about him being your main source of comfort, and how you're not sure you could live without him. that's why you hadn't told him about your feelings, what if he wouldn't reciprocate them. instead you kept your emotions deep inside you, under lock and key. now you were beginning to be afraid, what if they came pouring out one day much like the rain was still pouring down outside. the bus called out your bus stop, bringing you out of your daydreams.

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the walk to wonwoo's apartment from the bus stop was quick, but you still managed to get soaked. when you got to his door you swung it open, he had left it unlocked like he said he would - and you locked it after you like you promised. after taking off your shoes you walked to wonwoo's gaming room, where the only light in the apartment was coming from. "hey, i'm here.", you said, "where do you keep your towels now again?" "why do you need a towel?", he turned around to look at you and noticed you were completely soaked, "oh.. is it raining?" you laughed at his aloofness, while he walked up to the window to peek through the blinds. "shit, sorry.", he sighed and took off his glasses to pinch his nose bridge, "i was wearing headphones so i couldn't hear the rain... i would've come and gotten you if i knew it was raining. do you want to take a shower or something?" "that'd be nice actually.", you nodded, "do i still have some of my clothes left here?" "i can look.. you can just borrow mine while i throw those clothes in the wash otherwise.", he went to pause his game before walking out of the room, "ugh, why is it so dark?" you let out another laugh and followed him to the bathroom.

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after a warm shower you put on the clothes wonwoo had left for you. finally, you knew where your favorite pair of sweatpants had gone - you didn't even remember leaving them here. there was one of your old laundry day shirts, along with one of wonwoo's zip-up hoodies. you quickly put it on and walked out of the room "i made tea.", wonwoo said as he heard the door creak open. he was in the kitchen, with two cups in front of him. "thanks.", you said, "... i'm really happy you're still up." he nodded in acknowledgement, but didn't say much else. he didn't have to, because there wasn't much else to say. you took your tea cup and went to sit down on the couch by his TV. "what game were you playing before?", you asked. "well, that was a single player game so it doesn't matter.", he sat down next to you, "let's find something else." he picked up a controller and turned the console and TV on. the two of you looked through his assortment of games, and suddenly you gasped. "let's play mario kart!", you said excitedly, "i've gotten so good, please!" "alright.", he grinned, "i'm still gonna beat you, though, so don't get your hopes up."

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"aha! i'm winning!", you shouted. the cups of tea were only half empty, and long forgotten on the coffee table. wonwoo let out a groan as he watch you cross the finish line in first place. his promises of beating you had been broken a few times tonight. both of you had played around five times already, with you winning three rounds. it was very late, and you were actually starting to get sleepy again. "it's because of the blue shell! if you hadn't gotten that blue shell i would've won! i was in first!", wonwoo exclaimed as he passed the finish line in fourth place. "but i did get it!", you faked an evil laugh, "i told you i had gotten better at this!" "let's play another round!", he said, "one more and then we should sleep." "hm.. alright. don't get your hopes up, though", you mocked what he had told you before. he let out a sarcastic laugh, and was about to press play for a new round when you stopped him. "wait, let's make this fun.", you grinned, "winner gets to wish something from the loser!" "fine with me!", he started the game. much to your dismay, you ended up losing. let's just say that wonwoo's lucky he has very thick walls, otherwise his neighbors would've hated him by now. you sat down on the couch with your arms crossed over your chest. after a screaming-fest the two of you realized how tired you were, and everything went quiet. you looked over at wonwoo, who was grinning. "so, what's your wish then?", you asked, annoyed. his big grin turned into a soft smile, filled with a warmth that you couldn't quite place. he put away his controller. "kiss me...", he said, "... if you don't mind, i'll wish for you to kiss me." your eyes widened in shock, which he noticed quickly. his smile never faded, but there was a glimmer of something sad in his eyes. "it's alright, i know that was a weird request.", he didn't break eye contact, "forget i said anything if it makes you uncomfortable." instead of listening to anything else he had to say, you leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to his lips, which were so soft you could've mistaken them for clouds. as you pulled away you saw his smile grow wider. you moved a bit closer to him and put your hand on his knee, so that you could lean forward once again. this time he welcomed you by cupping your face in his palm and bringing you closer. you kissed again, and you hand moved from his knee to his shoulder. everything else was drowned out, there was only you two. without breaking the kiss, you used his shoulder to lift yourself up and swing one of your legs over his lap so that you were straddling him. wonwoo's hands went to your hips as his tongue swiped across your bottom lip. the kiss started getting heated, and was quickly turning into a full on make out session. the tension that had built up between the two of you for the past six years was finally released. however, it was all interrupted by the mario kart theme song replaying on the TV behind you. you broke the kiss by smiling, and eventually pulling away to laugh at the soundtrack that had been playing whilst the two of you were eating off each other's faces. when you turned your attention back to wonwoo he was staring at you with a soft, amused, smile, and adoration in his eyes. "should i turn the game off?", you asked, and he nodded.

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The ride there was long and treacherous, nothing like you had ever experienced before. You frequently used to ride horseback with your father, much to your mother's dismay. To see you sitting pretty in one of your finest gowns in a carriage brought her the utmost delight.

"You really do look lovely, darling.", she said.

She was a kind soul, your mother, but she never understood you much. It wasn't her fault, of course, and after your father's passing, she had tried to accommodate more to your needs, as had you to her.

"You've said that already, mother.", you said whilst giving her a small smile.

"Oh, I know...", she sighed, "I'm just restless..."

Of course, she was restless. If she weren't restless it would provoke you even further. However, you knew she wasn't solely restless. She was excited. She was excited because you had picked your clothes yourself without her having to ask you to wear something nice. That only happened on extraordinarily special occasions, although you must admit it felt nice to look pretty.

"... thank you.", you looked out the window to avoid her sympathetic smile.

The moment you told her of your plans to marry, she cried tears of joy. Partly because she was so happy for you. Furthermore, because she knew the kingdom would be saved. Outside the window, autumn had begun to take its toll on the poor trees. No longer green, they had taken on an orange color. Although it was beautiful, you knew that in a few weeks the orange would turn brown and that the trees' destinies were to turn into lifeless husks of the beautiful bloom that spring had brought them. Nobody questions the cruel cycle of the seasons because we have grown attached to them, it is the natural way of things. However, the seasons are purely a transaction. If it is true, as the ancients say, that every spring Persephone leaves Hades' side in the Underworld, then it is a trade between the King of the Underworld and the human race. We get to live with Persephone's beauty for half a year, and then we experience the same cold that Hades feels once his Queen leaves his side. The tale is tragic and has been adapted into many forms of storytelling. But, nobody ever asks how Persephone feels. Her body is used by both the people and the man she loves as pristine goods. She is torn: should she stay with the man she loves or should she help her people? This compromise between Hades and the people may seem like an acceptable prospect, however, every winter people are still hurting, and every spring Hades cries tears of sorrow and loneliness. The agreement brings equal pleasure for both parties, but it also brings equal pain. And let's not forget the Queen, who hurts no matter what she does.

"We're almost here, darling.", your mother interrupts your thoughts, and you are forced to drag your attention away from the trees.

"Indeed we are.", you hummed as you saw the castle, your new home, in the distance.

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The castle had a homely look with many rounded corners. It gave you the impression that it wanted to look less intimidating. Your new family was inside, waiting for you in the King's throne room.

"Are you ready, my darling?", your mother came up beside you.

"Certainly.", you nodded, keeping your gaze fixated on the mesmerizing marble structure.

The large wooden doors opened for you as you walked up the steps, and, even inside, it seemed lovely. If you could, you would've taken a moment to appreciate the amount of art on the walls, not to mention the mural on the roof. There was no time. You could only walk past it. You came to a second large wooden door. You heard your name being presented on the other side. When the doors opened, you were almost blinded. Not only did the room have big ceiling windows decorated with golden arches, but the room was also almost entirely filled with mirrors on the walls. Instinctively, you straightened your back as soon as you saw your reflection. In front of you sat King Jeon, lonely on his golden throne. You thought of Hades again and that maybe this is just what he looked like. The man was huge, much bigger than you had ever imagined, and had a large grey beard. His crown sat perfectly on his head. From it, his grey hair was cascading down his shoulders. Once you were just a few feet away from him, you courtesied and bowed in respect. The King stood up from his throne and walked toward you. Never had you imagined that he would reach his hand out for you to try to shake it. Yet, he did, and you took his hand in yours. His hand was calloused and felt as if it was as large as your entire forearm.

"My condolences for your father´s passing, Princess.", he said.

His voice was deep and burly, and it reminded you of thunder. As you peered up at him, you couldn't believe his size. You had never seen a person this tall before.

"Thank you, your Majesty.", you said, trying to keep your voice strong.

"I am glad that such a strong woman could take over his place.", he said, "Your father spoke very highly of you whenever we met."

"He spoke highly of you as well, your Majesty.", you smiled at him.

"That's very kind of you to say.", his smile was surprisingly kind, "Now, I'm sure that you're hungry, and then I'll have the servants show you to your rooms. We can talk of business tomorrow."

The King gave you another warm smile and nodded to your mother as a greeting. You had never gotten to experience what it was like to live as a ruler. Instead, you had always found yourself in the position your mother was in now - ignored until the last seconds of the meeting. Still, your mother's smile shined brightly at you when you turned to follow the King out of his throne room. As you left you caught a glimpse of yourself in one of the mirrors that surrounded you. Deep dark circles framed your eyes, you could hardly recognize yourself. Now you understood why the King wanted to take the business in the morning.

You and your mother ate by yourselves. The rest of the Jeon family was already fast asleep, the King told you. As soon as you finished eating you were led to your room. When you tried asking for Eunji, they told you that she had taken her place in the servants' quarters already. They asked if they should wake her for you, but you declined and let another servant undress you for the night.

Your room was round, much like the architecture outside. The bed was in the middle of the room, and there was a small vanity table prepared for you, as well as a wardrobe and a partition wall for you to get dressed behind. The room's wallpaper gave the illusion of looking like velvet, and the dark red color accommodates nicely with the golden details. Most importantly, at one end of the room, there was a door leading to a balcony that overlooked the garden. The servant took off your outer layers for you and was about to leave you to take care of the rest yourself, leaving your nightgown on the bed.

"Excuse me...", you said before they could leave, "How can there be flowers in bloom in the garden? It's late autumn already."

"These flowers last until the frost starts to come in. The Queen likes to keep as much color in her garden for as long as she can.", the servant explained.

"Oh... thank you.", you said, "You may leave now."

The servant bowed and left you alone. You approached the glass doors, more of the flowers appearing in front of you. They had a vibrant purple and magenta color. It was late, but you just had to take a closer look. You opened the doors to the balcony and stepped out. It was cold, and the wind flew right through the thin material of your dress. Without the extra layers, the cold was much more prominent. But you didn't mind, instead, you leaned a bit further over the edge of the balcony to look closer at the flowers.

"Maybe Persephone left a piece of herself in this garden...", you sighed.

"You should go back inside.", you heard a voice from below you.

You quickly backed away from the balcony with a small shriek. It had merely surprised you to hear a voice in the dark, you weren't necessarily scared. In fact, you were intrigued - so you approached the edge again. In the garden stood a tall man with dark black hair. He was wearing all black: black pants, a black nightshirt, and black shoes. Of course, you hadn't seen him.

"Who are you?", you asked, "Why are you outside my window?"

"I didn't mean to be outside your window.", he said, ignoring your first question, "I like to visit the garden when the moon is out."

You looked up, seeing a slither of a moon there. A new moon. Looking back at the man, you smiled.

"So you visit the garden every night?", you asked.

"Only when there is a moon.", he answered.

"Then I will see you again soon.", you said.

"You might.", he spoke wearily, "Is that something you would like?"

"You seem mysterious. I like mysteries."

He let out a laugh, and you thought that you could hear the bells ringing. Like a silver spoon softly striking a crystal glass, that's what his laugh made you feel. Elegant and light. You wanted oh so desperately to hear it again.

"I heard you speak of Persephone before. Are you interested in Greek mythology?", he asked.

"Only a little.", you said truthfully, "I had a few books about it as a child. The story of Persephone stuck out to me."

"It's a bit romantic, I suppose."

"It's tragic.", you corrected him.

"How is it tragic?", he asked with an amused smile, "Because of the kidnapping?"

"Well, even if we look past the kidnapping it is still tragic.", you said, "She doesn't get to choose. Ever. The most she got to choose was when she ate the pomegranate. Other than that, it is decided for her that she has to travel between worlds. It is tragic because every autumn and spring she has to leave something important to her."

"Isn't it the best option, though?"

"No.", you shake your head, "I would've wanted to choose one of the two. Either having to give up my dearest, or to give up my people. Otherwise, I would have to go through the same pain every time I have to leave. While also, may I add, knowing that they are in pain as well."

"You would damn the world to an eternal winter to be with someone you love? Or break someone's heart to give the people eternal spring?", his eyebrows furrowed, "Isn't it selfish?"

"What isn't selfish?", you laughed, "Every action we take is selfish, whether we realize it or not."

"How depressing of a thought.", he said, "You don't think people can do selfless good?"

"I think people can try.", you said, "Trying is wonderful, in fact, but I don't think anyone can ever succeed."

"You have a peculiar mind.", the man muttered.

"So I have been told.", you said, "... do you know the name of these flowers?"

"It's Phlox.", he leaned down and picked a flower from the bushes, "It's a Greek word, actually. It means flame."

You watched as he looked around, and then took a sprung up your balcony. It wasn't high up from the ground, so he easily climbed up just enough to hand you the flower he had picked. Now that you could see him better, you took time to appreciate his sculpted features and piercing eyes.

"Thank you.", you mumbled.

"My Lady.", he bowed his head slightly before jumping down, "I wish you a good night's sleep."

"Goodnight.", you said and watched as he walked away, back into the castle.

When you woke up the morning after it was because someone was pulling your blinds aside.

"Good morning, Princess.", Eunji greeted.

"Good morning...", you sigh, "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept very well, my Lady.", she smiled brightly at you, "They are all so nice here. We had a wonderful time at breakfast. Oh, and speaking of breakfast. The King has called you to come eat breakfast with them. The entire family will be there this time."

"Right...", you groaned and sat up, "Did I bring any good gowns for this occasion?"

"You certainly did, my Lady.", Eunji happily walked over to your dresser and pulled out a light blue dress with poofy sleeves, "This is quite romantic, is it not? Perfect for your first time meeting the Prince."

The Prince. Prince Jeon Sungho. Your future husband. A sigh escaped your lips at the thought... and your mind couldn't help but drift to the man from the other night. What if it was Sungho? He never said his name, and with his beauty, he could definitely be a prince.

"I'll use that one then.", you said and got out of bed.

Seeing the castle in the daylight further gave you the impression that it was built to look welcoming. The windows were big, and the walls were light in color. It was such a drastic difference from the man you had seen last night. If it truly was the Prince, then he was a walking contradiction.

Eunji only left your side once you made it to the door of the dining room. When the doors open your nose was flooded with an amazing smell. Fresh bread, vanilla, all kinds of fruity smells, anything that would make your mouth water. You were starving.

"Ah, Princess Y/N, you made it.", the King said from his place at the end of the table.

"I'm sorry for my late arrival.", you said and made your way to an empty seat.

Before you could sit down, a man in front of you stood up. For a moment you thought it was the man from last night, but his eyes were different and he had a wider jaw.

"I am Prince Sungho, my Princess.", he said softly, "I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

"It is very good to meet you, Prince Sungho.", you said and tried your best not to seem disappointed.

The two of you bowed your heads as you sat down. His eyes were constantly on you, you could feel them practically burning into your skin. You didn't return his gaze. It wasn't because he wasn't handsome enough, he was in fact very handsome, but he wasn't the man from last night. It made you question who he truly was.

"Sungho has suggested that we go out for a ride after breakfast.", the Queen piped up, "Hopefully, my other son will be able to join us then."

"You have another son?", your mother, who was seated next to you, asked.

"Oh yes, we do.", the King said with a smile, "He's a bit more bashful than his brother, so he didn't join us for breakfast. Although, if you ask him - he will say that he was feeling sick."

"Do you think that a ride would be agreeable, Lady Y/N?", Sungho asked you.

His eyes were still burning into you, and it was almost difficult to return his gaze.

"Oh, yes. I think that sounds lovely.", you nodded with a timid smile.

The second son of the Jeon family was nowhere to be seen when you got to the stables. You had changed into more appropriate clothing for riding, which Sungho took note of.

"So it's not just the clothes that make my Lady so beautiful.", he said with a charming smile.

"I guess not.", you looked down at your clothes and then back up at him, "Thank you."

The Prince was handsome, kind, and loved to hear your opinion on many different topics. You found yourself drawn to him because of this. During the ride he showed great gentlemanship, helping you on and off your horse, and he matched his riding pace to fit yours. He was all a woman could ever dream of... yet you found yourself thinking of the mystery man from last night. The way his piercing gaze seemed to look into your soul, or the way his fingertips touched your hand when he gave you that flower that was still on your bedside table. You had thoroughly enjoyed the banter the two of you made, and not in the same way you could appreciate the way the Prince spoke.

Once the evening came you were excited to see him again. However, during the day dark clouds had started coming in over the horizon. It was raining heavily and the moon was nowhere in sight. You remembered his words: "I like to visit the garden when the moon is out". A sigh escaped your lips as you sat down on your bed.

"Is everything alright, my Lady?", Eunji asked.

"Oh, I'm just fine...", you turned to her, "Could you... perhaps keep a secret for me, Eunji?"

"Of course, my Lady."

She sat down on the bed beside you, as she had many nights before this. Eunji was as close as you had to a friend, and you always told her everything. You trusted her, and you had to tell someone of the man.

"Yesterday evening I was out on the balcony...", you paused and looked at her, "I saw this man there... dark hair, tall... handsome."

The rain started pouring outside as you told Eunji of the man. A constant smile was on Eunji's lips, clearly happy about you speaking of a potential love interest. It wasn't something you had done in the past, as you never bothered with it before. You thought you had your whole life ahead of you to deal with romance.

"I thought it might be the Prince.", you said which only made Eunji's smile grow wider, "... but it wasn't. While they were similar, he just... it wasn't the same."

"Oh...", her smile quickly faded, "I shouldn't advise you to have affections toward anyone but the Prince... but you seem very intrigued by this mysterious gentleman."

"I am, but it won't get in the way of my marriage. I promise.", you let out a breath that you hadn't realized you had been holding in, "I have gone too far to screw this up for a man I met once."

Your eyes wandered to the window, where the rain was still falling heavily. Eunji put her hand on top of yours, showing her support silently.

"I just needed to tell someone of what had happened.", you look back at her with a warm smile, "I cannot tell you how happy I am that you would listen."

"Of course, my Lady.", she said.

"I probably just got excited to talk to someone.", you reassured yourself, "There's not much else to it."

Eunji left your side to blow out all the candles in your room. You thanked her and bid her goodnight before she left. Laying in your bed, listening to the rainfall, and praying that you would never see the man again.

The doors to the dining room opened and you stepped inside. Unlike the day before, you were fairly early. Only the King, the Queen, and your mother were in the room.

"Good morning.", you said as you walked inside, "If I may, I would like to start presenting ideas of what we could do for the kingdom's-"

The door opened yet again. You turned around expecting your arranged fiancé but were met with another familiar face. The stranger from the garden. He looked at you, and you could tell he recognized you, but he kept quiet.

"Ah, finally!", the Queen stood up and motioned for the man in front of you, "This is my second son, Prince Wonwoo. Wonwoo, darling, this is Princess Y/N - your brother's fiancé."

Your mouth fell into a small "o" shape as you looked between the two. Without hesitation, Wonwoo's face fell into a polite smile as he reached to shake your hand.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, my Lady.", he said and kissed the back of your hand, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you before, I wasn't feeling well. Although, I am in much better condition now."

You could hear the King chuckle behind you, supposedly at the fact that Wonwoo claimed that he was ill. His hand was warm in yours, and you wish he hadn't let go just yet.

"The pleasure's all mine, your Majesty.", you said and hoped that you didn't look all too flustered, "You missed a very nice ride yesterday."

"So I have heard.", he said, "My brother told me all about it."

As if on cue, the door opened again and Prince Sungho stepped in. Everyone greeted him a good morning, and you sadly had to watch Wonwoo walk away. He sat on the other side of the table, diagonally from you.

"So you wanted to speak of plans, Y/N.", the King said suddenly, "Please, do enlighten me."

During breakfast you told the King of the plans you had to make your kingdom blossom once again, which would in turn help their kingdom after your marriage was set in stone. Wonwoo's eyes were on you at all times, and whenever you would glance over at him you would stumble over your words. You didn't mean to, there was just something about him that made you incredibly nervous.

As soon as breakfast ended, Wonwoo was out the door. You didn't even have time to say goodbye. Sungho was quick to step in front of you, hindering you from following the younger prince.

"I heard nobody's given you a tour of the castle yet.", he held out his arm to you, "May I have the honor of doing so myself?"

You looked back at your mother, who was giving you a supportive smile, then back at Sungho. His eyes were much warmer than his brother's. At the thought of Wonwoo, you glanced over to the door he left through. Maybe you would see him again if you took this tour.

"You may.", you nodded and met his eyes once again.

"You've seen the throne room.", he said as you walked through the mirror-filled room.

"Why the mirrors, if I may ask?", you say.

"It makes the room look bigger.", he looked around, "I suppose one could also always know who's behind one's back with these mirrors."

A hum echoed from your mouth as you looked around. Sungho had been showing you around the castle. A quick visit to the servant's quarters, a look into the kitchen, the garden, the King's study, the drawing room, and many many staircases. Now you were back where you had started your story in this castle.

"Would you like to see the ballroom?", he asked and placed his hand over yours, which was still hanging on his arm.

"I would love to.", you gave him a polite smile.

The two of you walked across the King's throne room and through a grand door. In there was a big round room, the biggest room in the castle you were sure. The roof was tall and painted with beautiful images of angels and knights and other such things that one would paint on a ceiling. Surrounding the area were big pillars, on which leaned a smaller balcony of sorts. There was a small staircase to go up there.

"It's gorgeous.", you said.

"Does my Lady like dancing?"

"I do.", you nodded, "Although I won't say I'm very good at it."

"Nonsense.", Sungho chuckled, "I'm sure you're as good as you are beautiful."

You only smiled at him, for you had nothing to say back.

"This is the room furthest from the garden and your room in the West wing.", he commented, "So if there is a ball you can be sure that you will get the least amount of disturbance."

"What else is in the West wing?", you asked.

"Well, there's the library.", he pondered for a bit, "There's not much else going on in the West wing. We call it the quiet wing for a reason. That's why it's the best bedroom in the castle."

"You have a library in the West wing?", you almost gaped at him.

"Yes of course.", he nodded, "Would you like me to show you?"

"I would like that very much, your Majesty."

As you walked through the corridors together you tried mapping all the rooms out in your head. On one end there was your room, and this supposed library you had only just heard about, and on the other end was the ballroom. Outside the ballroom seemed to be another garden or a labyrinth of sorts, which you were told could lead you to the West wing's garden. How you couldn't understand quite yet. The servants' hall lay under the dining room area, which was accessed with a well-hidden door. The King's throne room was quite central to the castle, and in the North wing lay most of the bedrooms.

When you reached the library, Sungho opened the door for you. You basically flew into the room. Books were filling all of the bookshelves, which were as tall as the entire walls.

"I take it that you like this room.", he said with a chuckle.

"Oh, more than any other room.", you said silently and walked up to one of the bookshelves to look at the books.

Rustling was heard from beside you, and you snapped your head in the direction of the noise. Wonwoo walked out from behind one of the bookshelves. He bowed his head at you.

"It's my favorite room too.", he said quietly with a peculiar smile, "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I was just looking for a book."

He held up a purple book. You could only stare at him with wide eyes, at a loss for all words. Surely he must find you absolutely idiotic.

"It's alright, brother.", Sungho answered for you, "We are just looking around the castle."

"Ah... then you've been in the ballroom, I suppose.", he looked back at you, "It's really beautiful."

"It certainly is.", you managed to get out.

Wonwoo was smiling at you, but his eyes were still so piercing. You couldn't read him whatsoever.

Later that evening, you got ready for bed. When Eunji had left, you practically leaped out on the balcony in nothing but your silky, pale pink, nightgown. The moon was out, and you could hear someone whistling.

"The Lady returns.", he said as you walked out, "I thought I had frightened you the other night."

"The moon wasn't out yesterday.", you replied, "I thought you wouldn't be here."

"I left once the rain started pouring down.", he said casually, "So you're the Princess, huh..."

"I would have told you, but you wouldn't tell me who you were.", you said, "Prince Wonwoo."

He finally looked at you, only to quickly look away again.

"You should put something else on.", he took a deep breath, "It's not proper... and you're going to catch a cold."

"I'm not staying out here for long.", you shrugged.

"You're not?", he glanced at you, a slightly worried tone in his voice.

Oh. This isn't good.

"I mean...", you sighed, "I shouldn't be out here so late at night anyway. You should go inside too."

He looked at you, really looked at you. Everything around you just seemed to disappear. Only he was still there, and as he started approaching the balcony, much like the other night, you didn't utter a word to stop him. In fact, as he neared you hoped that he could finally close the gap filled with meaningless air between you. His hands gripped the edge of the balcony, right in between where your hands were resting. When he pulled himself up you stood face to face. You had never been this close to him before. He smelled of lavender and something dark and woody. His eyes were still strictly looking into yours, piercing through your soul. He opened his mouth to speak, and you looked down at his lips.

"I do not wish to cause you mental turmoil, but I must tell you that the moment I laid eyes on you that night I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.", he spoke quietly and sincerely, "And if the situation had been different I wouldn't hesitate to try to win your affection. I waited for you in the rain last night, wishing that I could get another glimpse of you, to hear your voice again."

You sucked in a sharp breath and looked back into his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes. There was something so thrilling about having him so near, about him confessing his undying attraction to you. Your head was completely fogged up, you didn't know what you were doing, but your hands cupped his face and kissed him. He tasted sweet and reinvigorated, it reminded you of a lemon pie. His lips were soft and moved against yours with a slow, burning passion. Your hands traveled down to his collar, just to try to bring him a bit closer. But Wonwoo pulled away, his face one of horror as if he had just found something so very wrong.

"We shouldn't be doing this...", he suddenly said, "I am so terribly sorry."

You tried to stop him, to grab him, and tell him that no one had to know; anything to get him close to you again. He didn't listen. With fleeting footsteps, he left the garden. You looked over at the flowers. The weather had started growing colder, and with it came the frost. Much like you, the purple flowers in the garden had started withering away.

The next morning you asked Eunji to get you breakfast in bed and to tell the household that you weren't feeling well. You couldn't bare to come across Wonwoo again. You had never felt something so strong for another person, and you could never have him.

After breakfast, you put on a robe over your nightgown and made your way to the library. The weather was beautiful today, and you heard from Eunji that the family was going out for a walk in the nearby forest. That meant the castle was yours to wander, but you only wanted the library. As you walked in there, your eyes immediately landed on a singular book laying on a table. There was a couch near the table, and you took a seat and started reading. It wasn't anything interesting, only a book about some old war, but it was enough to distract you.

The door to the library opened and you locked eyes with Wonwoo. Your eyes widened as you quickly pulled your robe tighter around your chest. One of his hands was still on the door handle, the other one hanging by his side. You watched his hand grip around nothing before letting his fingers fall. Neither of you spoke, you only watched each other. Footsteps echoed outside the door, and you heard your name being called by someone. Wonwoo ran to you, pulling you aside and in between two bookshelves. You were shielded from the view from the door. Wonwoo's arms were tightly wrapped around your waist, your chest pressed against his. Still, neither of you spoke. You looked up at him with big, worried eyes. He swallowed and looked away from you. The library door opened.

"My Lady? Are you in there?", it was Sungho, "... strange. Brother? Are you in here?"

Wonwoo shut his eyes tightly in annoyance. Of course, his brother had seen him walk in here. He motioned for you to stay quiet, and left you alone to greet his brother.

"I'm right here.", he cleared his throat, "But I haven't seen the Princess."

"He chambermaid said she would be here...", Sungho trailed off, "Maybe she was mistaken. If you see her, please come get me."

"Of course."

The library door shut. You were left feeling breathless. When you turned around Wonwoo was right in front of you again.

"Do you always parade yourself around in such indecent clothing?", he hissed at you.

"Excuse me?", your eyebrows furrowed.

"What? Did you think I would walk in here and take you on the couch? Is that what you wanted?", Wonwoo's eyes were burning, but you couldn't tell if it was with anger or lust.

"I was informed that everyone had left the castle.", you said, "I wouldn't go out of my room otherwise."

Wonwoo quieted down, clearly flustered by his earlier assumption. You were left feeling like your heart would beat out of your chest. Truly, you didn't know what had happened to you. Any logic left in you had flown out the window, now replaced with attraction for the man in front of you.

"... about last night-", you started.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.", he grabbed your hands, "As I said if the situation was different..."

His eyes trailed down your face to your lips, then down your neck, to your collar bones, until they ended at your exposed chest when he reminded himself to look you back in the eye.

"My Lord-"

"I am not a Lord.", he murmured and cradled your cheek in his palm.

"My Prince...", you leaned into his touch.

"Just call me Wonwoo.", he said, "Let's stop with the formalities."

His hand was so warm and soft. You pressed your hand to the back of his, just to bring it even closer to your cheek. As you peered up at him through your lashes you saw how his breathing hitched. Sadly, you had to let go of him. Your hands removed the one that he held to your cheek, and you dropped your arms back to your sides.

"Prince Wonwoo...", you said despite his request, "I think you're right. This can't be. Besides, isn't it foolish to act on feelings toward a person you've only just met?"

"I suppose...", Wonwoo looked away from you to hide his disappointment, "But I do not feel like I have only just met you, Princess."

"It does not make it any less wrong.", you murmured.

His gaze returned to meet yours. Fireworks set off in your stomach, and you wanted to touch him again. You wished you had never made him let go. This couldn't possibly be wrong if it felt so good.

"Let's be good friends.", you managed to say.

"I think I can manage.", he smiled.

Oh, his smile was so wonderful. It made you feel like you were taking in a fresh breath of air during a chilly summer morning. You wanted to reach up and touch his face, cup his cheek, and gently swipe your thumb over his cheekbone.

"To good friends.", you held out your hand for him to shake.

"Good friends.", he took it.

Autumn passed, and in came winter. Most nights you would sit by a big fireplace in the drawing room. The only big problem with the Quiet wing was its lack of places to put fires. Whenever you would go to sleep, you would put on at least two layers of clothing and have extra blankets. The balcony was always closed now, though you had many times thought of visiting Wonwoo out there. He was acting normally around you, although you could feel him watching you when he thought you weren't looking. Your method was working out just fine.

Snowy days pass and you grow closer to Prince Sungho. One evening you're sitting in the drawing room, in front of the fireplace, when he walks in. You watch as he approaches you. It's only the two of you in the room. He seems nervous.

"I really am embarrassed that your room doesn't have proper heating.", he said for what must have been the hundredth time, "The offer of changing rooms still stands, whenever you want to."

"You're too kind, Prince Sungho.", you smile at him before turning back to the fire, "But I quite like my room, and it's not all that horrible... I also have a reason to come in here every evening, where I may see you."

The Prince was surprised by your flirtatious advances, as he always was. You patted on the couch right next to you, asking him to sit down. At this point, you know just what to say and do to make him weak in the knees. Which you had been using to your advantage. With the attention of a man such as Prince Sungho, you cannot possibly begin to think about Wonwoo.

"I have loved to have you here.", the Prince says as he sits down, "Truly, it has been a gift."

"I have loved to be here.", you responded.

"... but I have yet to do the thing that I promised.", he pulled out a small box from his pocket, "I know that I've offered my hand in marriage for you already, but I want it to be official. I want everyone to know."

He opens the box and reveals a diamond ring. With his slim fingers, he picks it up. You smile widely and put your hand in his. His eyes ask you for your permission, and you nod. Slowly, he pushes the ring onto your left ring finger.

"It's beautiful.", you hum and watch the diamond sparkle in the light of the fire.

"It's one of a kind.", he muses, "Just like you."

You can't help but think of Wonwoo. How his eyes sparkled just like this diamond the night he had kissed you. When you look up at the man in front of you, it's not Wonwoo, and you have to face reality.

"We should start planning for the wedding.", you mutter.

"Soon, my love.", he holds your face in his hands, "I want to celebrate you first. We shall throw a ball in your honor."

"My honor?"

"In honor of our official engagement, then.", he gave you a toothy smile, "After that, I will give you all the resources to plan a wedding... I'll find the best people in the land."

You wondered what Sungho truly knew about you. How could he be so infatuated with a person whom he's only spoken to in person for a few months? How can he promise you everything when you still see a stranger when you look at him?

"I think I will go to my chambers, it's late.", you say and stand up.

"Sleep well, my Lady.", Sungho watches you as you leave.

After a few weeks, an entire ball had been planned and executed. It was the day of the big night. The evening would start with the King announcing your official engagement, and let the guests celebrate with a night full of dancing and wine. A group of maids had brought you a dress, a present from the Queen. The corset top sat tightly on your torso. The sweetheart neckline accentuated your collarbone area and the puffy, short sleeves gave it a romantic look. Flower prints in lace covered the top elegantly and subtly, which contrasted the many chiffon layers of the skirt. At first glance, the dress looked white, but it was in fact a light lilac color. As the maids helped you put it on, one of them gave you a note from the Queen herself.

I heard you like the purple flowers in my garden, so this will suit you well.

Your body froze. Only two people knew of your fondness of the garden: Eunji and Wonwoo. If Eunji had told her, she would've asked you first. Maybe the Queen had asked her not to tell, to make it a surprise... but if Wonwoo had said something it would be suspicious. You couldn't be worrying about this now.

"Everything is done, Princess.", one of the maids said in a soft-spoken tone.

"Thank you.", you did your best to smile at her.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you felt like crying. You should be jumping with glee at this moment in your life, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. A night which was supposed to be about your engagement to the Prince, and so far you had spent most of it worrying about another man. You knew he would be there, and your mind had immediately wandered to what he would think of you - if he would find you beautiful. This was all so wrong.

They announced your name before you entered the ballroom. Whispers and gasps echoed through the large room as you walked towards the Kind and his oldest son. The King offered you his hand, which you took, and let him guide you to hold Sungho's hand. You looked out over the crowd, meeting star-struck and emotional faces. More importantly, you met Wonwoo's piercing gaze. As the King held a short speech in the engagement's honor, you never looked away from Wonwoo. Unlike his brother, he was wearing all black. His suit was lined with golden details, and a few golden rings adorned his fingers. He had a cape hanging over one shoulder, and a pair of well-polished boots. In a crowd full of white-clad folks, he stood out like a sore thumb. You wanted to tease him about dressing wrong for the occasion, but that would be too close to flirting.

"That is why I am happy to announce the engagement of my oldest son, Prince Sungho, and the lovely Princess Y/N. You have my blessing, and I know that this union will be a wonderful one.", the King brought you back to your senses, "To the happy couple! Let's celebrate!"

"Would you like to dance, my Lady?", Sungho whispered in your ear as the two of you walked out on the dancefloor.

You're already leading me there, it would just be awkward to say no now...

"I would love to.", you put on your best smile and got into position.

The crowd watched as you danced. After a minute, others joined in but you saw Wonwoo still leaning against one of the pillars. You locked eyes, and you couldn't look away.

"You seem distracted, my Lady.", Sungho said.

"Oh, I'm just... as I've told you, I'm not very good at dancing. I guess I'm just nervous.", you looked back at him.

"Don't worry, when you're in my hands you're safe."

"I'm sure.", you nodded and looked past him again, but now Wonwoo was gone.

The song ended, and Sungho eventually left your side to talk to some of his friends. You were left standing alone in a corner. Now that the announcement had been made and people had paraded you around, nobody seemed to care where you went. A sigh escaped your lips as you relaxed against the cold wall.

"Tired already?", a voice appeared beside you.

When you saw him your eyes widened, and you felt your cheeks grow warm. Wonwoo had looked good from afar, but this close he was truly a sight to behold.

"It's alright, I also usually keep to myself at these kinds of things.", he added.

"My fiancé just left me to talk to other people, and there's no one for me to speak with.", you explained.

"You can talk to me.", he gave you a delicate smile.

"... it's not weird for you?", you murmured.

"Of course it is. But not a day goes by where my life is normal or goes my way. You get used to it.", he held out his hand to you, "Am I worthy enough to dance with you, Princess?"

"People will see.", you looked out over the ballroom, nobody had seen you just yet.

"Then they will see two people dancing, nothing more.", he took your hand and put it on his shoulder, "You just think so because you want there to be more to it."

Wonwoo's put his hand on your waist, and with his other hand, he grabbed yours. The two of you swayed in the shadows, out of view from anyone else. Being in his arms made you feel safe like you could truly rest. When the song ended he let go of you but kept holding your hand. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

"Thank you, Princess.", he said and took a step away from you.

"You're a wonderful dancer.", you let out a giggle, "You must be a favorite amongst the ladies."

"Oh, definitely...", he said sarcastically, "Especially the married ones."

If it weren't for the fact that your fiancé was approaching, you would've landed a soft smack on his arm. Wonwoo took another step back and greeted his brother.

"I'm glad you two get along so well.", Sungho placed an arm around your waist.

"Oh, he's a swell conversationalist.", you said and internally cringed at your words of choice.

"Really?", Sungho's eyebrows shot up, "I've never thought of you as the chatty type, brother."

"I have my moments.", Wonwoo replied, "But I should go. I hope you have a good rest of your night."

The rest of the night went rather smoothly. You were introduced to many people and danced with even more. From time to time you would catch a glimpse of Wonwoo, but not nearly enough for your liking. When the clock struck midnight, you realized that people weren't leaving yet. You asked Sungho when it was time to end, and he responded that it usually goes on until dawn. When you heard that you excused yourself and said that you would be leaving for your chambers early. You took the shortcut through the King's throne room, knowing that everyone else would be trying to leave through the ballroom's main entrance.

In the mirror-filled room, you caught your reflection. Your hair was in complete disarray, and your face had taken on a flustered color. Slowly, you approached one of the many mirrors. The door behind you opened, and when you looked through the mirror's reflection you saw Wonwoo.

"It's only me.", he said and closed the door.

His footsteps were slow, almost cautious. It was as if he was giving you time to tell him to stop. You didn't say a word. Wonwoo approached you. He had the same flustered look on his face as you did. It must have been the wine. It must have also been the wine that made you want him so bad. And, yes, it must have been the wine that made Wonwoo wrap his arms around your waist from behind. His large figure easily engulfed you, and you leaned into it. Wonwoo put his head on your shoulder and looked into your eyes through the reflection.

"I have been watching you all night, my love.", he whispered.

One of his hands pushed away the hair from the shoulder his chin was leaning on. His fingertips grazed your neck, making you shudder.

"I have seen you watching.", you hummed, "I was looking for you as well."

In a moment of pure bliss, his lips met your neck. A peck, that turned into two and then three. They were leading up from the crook of your neck to your jaw.

"You must be the most intoxicating goddess I have ever had the honor of being in the presence of.", he mumbled against your skin, "Have you seduced me, my princess?"

His princess.

"What if I have?", you smile at him through the mirror.

"I would have to tell your husband.", he took his lips away from your skin, much to your dismay.

"He's not my husband yet.", you sighed, "Let me take part in my freedom for a while longer."

"I wish to have a taste of you, my love.", he turned your head to face him with his hand, "Will you allow me the delight of feeling your lips against mine again?"

You didn't respond, instead, you pressed your lips to his greedily. Your body turned around to fully face him, and you pressed your chest against his. He pulled away to look around the room, and a paranoid feeling entered your chest.

"Someone could see us.", he said.

"My chambers are far away from the ballroom.", you take his face in his hands and place another kiss on his lips.

"I have heard that your chambers are freezing during this time of year.", he muttered against your lips.

"Don't worry, I will warm you up.", you smiled and grabbed his hand.

The two of you ran as fast as you could through the castle halls. His hand never left yours. You were lucky that nobody seemed to be around because you had a hard time keeping quiet. Laughs spilled out of your lips every other second.

When you reached your chambers, you locked the door behind you. Wonwoo's hands stayed on you every second and you loved the attention. With every step toward your bed, he placed another kiss on your skin. You were utterly drunk off of his contact with your body. Which is why a groan escaped your lips when he let you go. You sat down on the bed, both sleeves of your dress having slipped down.

"Tell me to leave now if you truly do not want me, my love.". he breathed out, "I will not hold myself back if we go any further."

"Please...", you grab his hand, "Have your way with me."

The very next morning you woke up to a sharp knock on your door. You stirred in your sleep, your hand touching a naked body beside you. Wonwoo was fast asleep beside you. A gasp escaped your lips as you pulled the covers up to cover your bare chest.

"Your Majesty!", another sharp knock, "I have to get you ready for breakfast!"

"Just give me a second, Eunji!", you shouted back.

Your voice woke up Wonwoo, who grabbed your waist to hold you closer. He was completely unaware of the situation you were in. In a hushed voice, you whispered to him that he had to get out of bed. With a grumpy look, he got up and gathered his clothes off the floor. Another knock scared you, and you ended up pushing him behind the partition wall. You put on your nightgown and walked over to the door, hoping that you didn't look like a flustered mess.

"My apologies, Eunji.", you smiled at her when you opened the door, "I was very tired from the ball last night..."

"I understand that my Lady, but you shouldn't lock your door when you know I don't have a key.", she explained with a worried look.

"I know, I know... I just wanted to be safe, you know with so many people around.", you lied right through your teeth.

"Well, we don't have time to chat. Let's get you ready!", Eunji pushed inside your room and walked over to the wardrobe.

You could see Wonwoo's feet under the small gap in the partition wall. Eunji handed you your slip dress and told you to put it on. In a state of panic, you went behind the partition wall and stood in front of Wonwoo so that his feet wouldn't be visible from under the partition wall. A sleepy smile was painted on his lips. He had only managed to put on his pants, his shirt still hanging from his hands. With an annoyed sigh, you took it from him and started pushing it over his head.

"Are you okay back there, my Lady?", Eunji asked as Wonwoo put his arms through the sleeves.

"Oh, I'm just... feeling a bit sick from the wine.", you stammered out.

"Well, if you need help I can-"

"No!", you yelled, "No, thank you. I don't need help."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm just feeling... self-conscious.", you shut your eyes tight, "Could you please put the dress on the bed for me? I'll try to do the rest by myself."

"Oh, my Lady, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.", Eunji assured you, "But if you wish for me to leave, then I shall. I'll be outside the door in case you do end up needing my services."

"Thank you, Eunji.", your breath hitched as you felt Wonwoo's hands on your waist.

The door opened and closed, and as soon as it shut Wonwoo pressed his lips to yours. You put your hands on his chest and smiled against the kiss.

"You're impossible.", you murmured softly.

He leaned his forehead against yours and looked deep into your eyes. A chill sent down your spine as Wonwoo started caressing your back. The warm glow of the morning sun filled the room and you found yourself feeling so unbelievably lucky.

"Last night...", he whispered, "Do you regret it?"

"I wish I would have done it sooner.", you admitted, "But now I must force you to leave, I'm sure people are looking for you."

"They can keep searching forever...", he muttered and kissed you again.

"People will grow suspicious.", you pulled away with a chuckle, "And as much as I'd love to keep kissing you forever, I have enough common sense to know it won't last."

"Let me at least help you get dressed.", his hands went to the hem of your short nightgown, "We don't want to keep your maid waiting."

"I'll let you help with the dress she picked out for me.", you said and pushed him out of the partition wall.

Your hands worked quickly to take off the nightgown and put on the slip dress. When you walked out you caught Wonwoo feeling the blue velvet material of your dress between his fingers. He handed you the dress carefully. The buttons in the back had already been undone, so all you had to do was step into it and pull the long sleeves over your arms. He motioned for you to turn around. Once your back faced him, Wonwoo slowly worked on buttoning the back of your dress. His lips pressed to the still bare skin where your neck met your back. The dress' collar was high, hiding whatever blemishes that were left from last night's activities.

"Leave the last few unbuttoned...", you whispered, "It'll be more believable that I couldn't reach."

Wonwoo hummed and took his hands away from you. Turning around, you stood face to face with the most lovestruck man you have ever seen. His smile was warm and inviting, creating small lines by his nose, and despite how wonderful this smile was you wanted to kiss it off his lips so badly. And in the beautiful morning glow, his eyes resembled portals of light that you would gladly dive into without questioning what could be on the other side.

"I'll miss you every second you aren't by my side.", he said.

"Can we see each other tonight again?", you asked.

"Of course."

Another harsh knock on the door, followed by a kind yet alarming voice that told you to please hurry up.

"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts.", you responded but didn't look away from Wonwoo.

He walked over to the balcony door and opened it. You followed closer, leaning over the railing of the balcony as he climbed down. Before he could leave, he pulled himself up just enough to kiss you again.

"Goodbye, my love.", he whispered.

"I'll see you soon."

Yet another knock on your door. It made you laugh this time. You hurried inside and closed the door. As you straightened out your dress, the door was impatiently pushed open.

"I'm terribly sorry, Eunji.", you said, "I couldn't get the last few buttons done."

"You should've called for my help.", she sighed, "The Queen has asked for your presence at breakfast to discuss wedding plans."

The wedding. You felt your heart sink. How could you have forgotten about the wedding? One of your hands steadied you against your bedframe, while you held the other one to your stomach.

"Are you alright, my Lady?", Eunji asked as she finished buttoning you up.

"Just nervous...", you breathed out.

The wedding had a date. A month after the first day of spring, just to give enough time for preparations. You wished for winter to never end. Persephone could gladly stay by Hades' side, you didn't care. Even though the wedding was all anyone talked about, you hadn't accepted fate just yet. That's why, every night, you would drown your sorrows with the kisses of your lover. Every morning you woke up at dawn to spend more time with him before he had to leave. And when he eventually did have to leave, you could feel your heart getting ripped apart inside your chest. The constant ache only worsened when you were around Prince Sungho, as guilt had started plaguing you whenever you saw him. The Prince would take you out on rides in the forest, on promenades in the gardens, and he even took you on a boat ride once or twice. All of these exceptional experiences, and yet your favorite moments in the castle were those in your bed laying next to Wonwoo.

As spring approached, you grew more reckless. The constant need of being near Wonwoo only grew stronger, and you did everything you could to keep him by your side.

One evening, when you knew that Wonwoo would be going out for a ride, you walked all alone to the stables to meet him. The snow had started melting away, but you tried not to think about it. Nevertheless, it was still very cold outside and not warm enough for anything to have grown. The warmth of the stables welcomed you quickly, as you walked across the floors to where Wonwoo's favorite horse stood. Just as you were about to turn the corner, Wonwoo peeked out from the small room. A smile spread across his lips as soon as he laid his eyes on you.

"Is anyone else here?", you whispered and looked around.

"Only me.", he said and put his arms around your waist, "You must be freezing. Why would you walk outside without a coat?"

"I didn't think to get it.", your arms wrapped around his neck, "And I was in a hurry to see you before you left."

"I was going to go see you tonight, after my ride.", he explained.

"It would be too long of a wait."

"You're so impatient."

One of his hands cupped your cheek and brought you in for a loving kiss. He was so warm. You wanted to melt into him and nest in his chest, to always keep his warmth around you.

"We could run away, you know.", he murmured against your lips, "Spring is approaching, there's not much time left..."

"I don't want to think about it...", you put your hands on his chest to create some distance between him and you.

"Y/N, this is the first time we've ever been alone outside of your chambers.", he sighed, "When you share your chambers with... someone else, we won't be able to see each other like that."

"We can find a way.", you sighed.

"We could run away, my love.", he argued, "We would only bring what was necessary, and we could take two horses. Then we wouldn't have to worry about hiding anymore."

You took a deep breath, leaning your forehead against Wonwoo's chest. While part of you wanted to run away, there was still a big part of you that knew that you had a duty to your people. And that part needed to stay.

"No.", you shook your head, "I can't just abandon my kingdom."

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. You grabbed at his shirt, partly because you were trying to make him stay close to you, but you also didn't want him to see you cry. As your first sob rocked through your body he didn't try to pull you away, he only held you closer. One of his hands soothingly caressed your back, while the other held onto the back of your head.

"I hate it.", you sobbed, "I hate it so much."

Wonwoo kept quiet but held you even closer. The stables were so unbelievably quiet, that you had forgotten you were even there. But the door opened, making the two of you quickly separate. Tears were still streaming down your face, and there was nothing Wonwoo could do to comfort you. You whispered goodbye and quickly made your way out of the stables.

After that encounter, you didn't stop meeting in public. Whenever no one else was around, you would take the chance to embrace each other. On this particular day, it was the library. This wretched, cursed day.

"Your chambers are just around the corner.", Wonwoo mumbled against your lips, "We could go there."

The two of you were laying on the couch, you on top of him. Your heart felt so full, that you didn't want to move. So, you shook your head at his suggestion and only kissed him again. His strong arms held you tightly against his body. Your hands were in his hair, trying to pull him closer to you. It was dark outside, so a few candles were lit around you.

"I love you.", you murmured, "I really do."

"I love you too.", he smiled at your confession.

"I wish spring never comes...", you sighed and put your head on his chest.

Wonwoo put his hand along your jawline and brought you back up to face him.

"Don't mention spring.", he said, "Just forget about it for a moment. For me, my love."

"For you? I'll do anything.", you grinned and pressed your lips to his again.

The door swung open and your heart sank to the floor. When you looked up, you met the eyes of your fiancé. His first worried look turned into sadness, which transformed into anger. Eunji came up behind him with a horrified look on her face, somehow it was both disappointed and apologetic. You got off Wonwoo and fell off the couch in the process, Wonwoo sat up and helped you to your feet.

"What is this?", Sungho said angrily, "Your chambermaid was worried sick about you, and here you are whoring yourself out for my brother!"

"It's not what it looks like, please-", you tried to plea but he interrupted you.

"I invite you into my home, I promise you all the riches in the land, and this is what you do to me?", he gasped.

"Brother, it's not her fault-"

"Oh, so this is your doing?", Sungho scoffed, "You can't have the throne so you decide to steal my future wife?"

"Please, forgive me, my Prince.", you got down on your knees in front of him, "I promise you, this will never happen again. I will marry you when spring comes, we can just forget about all of this."

Sungho only looked down at you, with so much hatred in his eyes. He looked between you and Wonwoo, studying the situation. Suddenly, you felt him grab your hair and pull you up to your feet. You could hear Wonwoo's protests behind you, but you tried not to think of it.

"Don't beg for me.", he hissed, "I want you to beg him to never come near you again. Show me that you're only loyal to me."

He turned you around to face Wonwoo. His eyes were full of tears and he seemed to be completely speechless. Your bottom lip quivered. What if you had just run away with him? Everything would've been okay now. You could've lived your life out with him in a small cottage in the middle of nowhere, where no one knew who you were.

"Please, never come near me again.", you sobbed out, "I don't ever want to see you again."

"Do you hear that brother?", Sungho taunted, "She doesn't want to see you again. So I suggest you pack up and go on a little trip. If you don't want this... mistake to go public, you will leave the castle until the wedding. You will not see her again until we are married."

Wonwoo didn't break eye contact with you. It felt like his eyes were telling you that it was all okay. That, despite having said a most horrible thing to him, he still loved you and that he understood your situation. He stood up and walked out of the room, bumping into his older brother's shoulder as he did so. Sungho let go of the grip on your hair and you fell to your knees once again.

"Get her to her chambers, maid.", he said to Eunji, "I have other business to attend to."

Eunji rushed to your side and held your trembling body in your arms the best she could. She kept on whispering apologies between her cursing about how you could have been so reckless.

"Princess Y/N.", Sungho said from the doorway, "I am doing you a favor. Do not forget this, as I will not forget what you have done."

He walked out of the library and slammed the door behind him. As his footsteps faded, you felt your body lose its strength. You could no longer sit, let alone stand. Eunji had to bring in more maids to help carry you to your bed.

Heartbreak comes in many forms, sometimes physical. You were sick in bed for days, not eating a thing. People grew worried, asking how the wedding would take place if the Princess wasn't well. They only thought you had an illness, not that your heart had been broken into a billion pieces. So they treated it like any other illness. Only Eunji was allowed to visit you, that is what you had requested. Although you heard voices outside of your room many times. Most of the time it was your mother, she was usually crying. Eunji tried to reassure everyone that you just needed to rest and that the sickness would leave your body eventually. One night, she was sitting by your bedside and washing your body with a cloth. You hadn't been able to move, which meant you couldn't bathe.

"I'm hungry.", you breathed out between chapped lips.

Eunji went into a frenzy as soon as she heard the words. You had pushed away any food that she had brought you, so your hunger was very welcomed. She put you back down against the pillows and put away her rag and bucket.

"What would you like to eat, my Lady?", she asked with happy tears in her eyes.

"Pomegranates.", you whispered and looked over to the balcony, "I want pomegranates."

"Oh... then I shall get you pomegranates, my Lady.", she hurried out the room and shouted down the corridor about the news.

The people were static, and people from all over brought you pomegranates. It was hard to get ahold of at this time of year, but people managed. If anyone knew what you had done, you wondered if they would be so keen on trying to please you. It didn't matter now. Soon enough, Eunji brought you a platter of pomegranates. They were displayed nicely, why you didn't know. There were a few sliced pomegranates, as well as a few whole ones, but most importantly there was a bowl of only pomegranate seeds.

"Here you go, my Lady.", Eunji sat the platter down in front of you.

"Leave.", you whispered.

Eunji nodded and quickly gathered herself and left. You stared at the red fruit in front of you. Persephone ate six of the twelve pomegranate seeds she was given and it gave her six months in the Underworld. With a trembling hand, you took the wooden spoon in the bowl and pushed many pomegranate seeds past your lips. It wasn't enough. You put the spoon away and grabbed a handful of pomegranate seeds from the bowl and shoved them into your mouth. The fruit's juices poured down from the corners of your lips, but you did nothing to stop it. You took more of the seeds and kept shoving them down your throat. The noises that came out of you were disgusting. Gasps and gulps and gargles, but it was drowned out by your thoughts. If you ate many enough it would give you an eternity with Wonwoo. The bowl was empty and, with desperate hands, you clawed at the sliced pomegranates. You ate the white meat around it if you couldn't get the seeds out, and when you finished those you tried to open the whole fruits. You were too weak to even try. He had to be by the balcony now, he had to. You pushed the platter away from you and ripped off the bed sheets. Delirious and quivering, you walked over to the balcony and pulled aside the blinds that were covering the glass door. It was day, but he had to be there already. You opened the door and felt the cold wind against your sweaty body. After finally getting out, you leaned over the railing. He was nowhere to be seen. You desperately looked around, feeling warm tears stream down your face. Eventually, your eyes fell on the tree beside the balcony. Small little green buds had started growing on the otherwise brows twigs. Spring is here.

"No...", your voice was hoarse, "No, no, no..."

You walked over to the tree and tried to pull all of the buds off, getting your hand completely cut open on the sharp branches. A sob came out of your throat as you kept repeating that one word. No. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be spring already. You stumbled back and looked down at your scathing hand. Blood poured out of all the cuts and you felt sick. You hurled forward, blood-red vomit spewing out of you. All of the pomegranates escaped your stomach. They were rejecting you. There was no savior who could help you now. Everything around you went dark.

When you woke up you were in bed again, and your body felt much lighter. A man you had never seen before was sitting beside you. Eunji, who was sitting on your other side, explained that he was a physician and was treating you for your illness. He had been feeding you liquids to get your strength back, which was why you felt so much better.

"You are allergic to pomegranates.", he explained in an emotionless tone, "I'm guessing you've had one before, but because of the large intake you had a much bigger reaction. If you eat just a little it wouldn't be very noticeable, maybe a slight itch."

"How...", you had to clear your throat, "How long was I out?"

"A few days.", Eunji said, "Since you've been rapidly getting better, preparations for the wedding have started. They want your opinion on a lot of things... but if you would rather not see anyone, you can tell me and I'll deliver the message."

All hope was out. You had given up.

"No... I'll meet them..."

In a matter of weeks, the wedding was upon you. It was the night before, and you were in your bed. Preparing for your wedding had kept you so preoccupied that you hadn't thought of anything else. The knock on your balcony door, therefore, surprised you. When you looked over you met the eyes of Wonwoo, and your heart broke all over again. You pushed aside your blanket and walked over to the door. Wonwoo embraced you as soon as he could, but you didn't reciprocate.

"I've missed you.", he whispered.

"When did you get back?", you asked.

"About an hour ago.", he replied, "Listen, I know that last time I asked this of you, you declined... but this time I have a plan."

"Are you asking me to run away with you?", you murmured as he pulled away from you.

"Tomorrow night.", he said, "There's a boat by the docks, I'm supposed to go alone. We'll be on a different continent."

"You're leaving? Why now?", you cupped his face in his hands.

"My brother convinced my father that I should try being on my own for a while.", he sighed, "He gave me a chance to visit another kingdom we have a treaty with. Once we're there, we can go wherever we want - and nobody will know until it's too late."

"... I don't know if I can choose.", you admit softly.

You blamed everyone in the story of Persephone and Hades for giving her such a horrible fate, but maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Oh, how you wished for a compromise now.

"The boat leaves tomorrow night.", Wonwoo cupped your cheek in his hand, "I won't force you to do anything, and I'm not trying to convince you to go with me... I'm just giving you another chance."

With that, he leaned down and kissed you. It was soft and sweet. You had longed to kiss him again, but still, you felt so heartbroken. He whispered goodbye before disappearing into the night, you knew you wouldn't get another chance to see him before the ceremony.

On the day of the wedding, you could help but cry. Out of anger, sadness, and out of uncertainty. Anger because your father left you to take care of his mess all by yourself. Sadness because you didn't love the man you were about to marry. And uncertainty because you had no idea what choices you would make tonight.

People around you comforted you by saying that it was normal to feel nervous on the big day. You asked to be left alone with Eunji, and for her to do the rest of the preparations for you. She was silent as she was dressing you, and she only spoke up when she had started taking care of your hair.

"I feel guilty, my Lady.", she said.

"About what?", you said between sniffles.

"About that day in the library.", she frowned at you in the mirror, "I truly just thought you had gone missing."

"It's my fault as well.", you assured her, "I guess I should have told you."

She laughed and put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you put your hand on top of hers. The two of you looked at each other with warm smiles, like old friends do.

"I would have liked to know.", she eventually said.

"And I was dying to tell someone.", you admitted, "I'm sorry for not telling you."

"No, no... you did what you thought was best.", she argued, "... was he good to you, my Lady?"

You turned around in your chair and gave her a mischievous smile. Eunji raised her eyebrows and you nodded. Without speaking a single word, the two of you had told so much. Both of you busted out laughing.

"How did you do it?", she asked between giggles.

"He snuck in through the balcony most nights.", you admitted, "Oh, and he was so nice... I've never met anyone like him. He's quiet and reserved, but when he does speak he always knows what to say."

"Not to mention, he's very handsome.", Eunji added, and the two of you broke out into fits of giggles again.

This is what you wanted your wedding to be. You wanted to be able to giggle about what a handsome and charming man your future husband was. In the midst of your laughter, you broke out crying again.

"Oh, my Lady-", Eunji quickly grabbed tissues from the table, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken about it."

"He asked me to run away with him.", you whispered, "Tonight. By boat."

"But the wedding-"

"I know, I know!", you whaled, "I don't know what to do!"

"My Lady, I don't know much about love.", Eunji crouched down in front of you, "But I can see it on your face, you truly love that man. That is something that no one can take away from you. If you decide to go or not... I won't judge you for it. I just hope you follow your heart. Do what you think is right."

You nodded and took the tissue she offered to wipe away your tears.

The ceremony went fairly quickly. You were lucky you had a veil because you couldn't help but cry once again, even if Eunji had given you a good speech beforehand. Wonwoo was in the crowd, you knew that, but you had no idea where since you didn't dare look. You had made up your mind, or so you thought.

You weren't going to leave with him, not at first at least. During the festivities held afterward, you watched as your now husband held speeches and talked to his peers. He wasn't your person. You knew that, and you were sure that the entire world could see that as well. So, when no one was looking you snuck out into the night. It was already late, and Wonwoo had left an hour earlier. But you just had to take this chance. You couldn't stay with Sungho for the rest of your life.

The white dress turned green and brown from you running through the mud. You had fallen down many times, and you were sure your legs were entirely scratched up. It didn't matter now, you would be with your love forever.

When you reached the docks there was no boat. If you squinted enough, you could see a ship in the distance - it was sailing away from you. You screamed, shouted, yelled, and ran as far as the coast would let you. But to no avail. The boat was gone. Wonwoo was gone. For how long, you didn't know. It was time to accept fate. Betrayed and tired, you made your way back to the castle. You had to ask Eunji for another dress.

Years flew by, and you got along rather well with your husband. You didn't love him, and you never learned to, but you did love the children he gave you. Three children: two boys and the youngest was a girl. They lived in ignorance, along with everyone else in the castle. Only you, Eunji, and Sungho knew of what happened in the past. You tried to forget. But when the King died one night while in his bed, you knew that you had to face your history.

He came in a boat, just like he had left. The years had taken a toll on him, but he wasn't any less beautiful. You wanted to embrace him but held yourself back by holding your arms so hard that your nails dug into your flesh. Wonwoo was only there for the funeral, then he would leave again. You tried not to think about it, or to see him as a stranger, but it was much too difficult.

The children loved him. Wonwoo was great with kids, reminding you that there was so much that you hadn't had the chance to find out about him.

After dinner, you excused yourself to go to the garden. The Queen had let you have it, knowing how much you loved to spend your free time there. Even if you hadn't expected it, you were very pleased when Wonwoo had come after you. Without a word, the two of you embraced, hidden by a large tree and the many purple Phlox. It was the middle of summer, so the green leaves obscured you well.

"I've missed you, so much.", he breathed out.

"Wonwoo...", you pulled away from him, "I want you to know that I tried to go with you that night. I was prepared to leave my life here for you... but I can't do that anymore."

"I know... I know, my love.", he cupped your cheek in his palm, "It's okay. I'm happy for you. You've done so well."

You put your hand on top of his and leaned into his touch. In the distance, you heard a child shouting for you. Another sigh escaped your lips, and you did your best to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out of the corner of your eye.

"I have to go.", you whispered out with a sob stuck in your throat, "But you should know that a day never passes where I don't think of you."

You walked away from him, stopping mid-step when he called your name.

"I never married.", he admitted, "I haven't been able to move on from you."