Aimless And Themeless

I rarely post about political/opinion stuff, not because I don't have strong opinions, but mainly because I'm scared of debate (I'm just real bad at it) but I'm literally having trouble concentrating on my day so here we go. I'm not going to go into why the plebiscite is a terrible idea here, there are plenty of people out there explaining it much better than I could, so I recommend looking up those. Eg, Hannah Gadsby's latest post.

Also cw, mentions of mental illness, homelessness and suicide (purely in the form of statistics, not personal experience). I also apologise if anyone is offended by my use of the word "queer" - I use it in terms of being inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, intersex, pansexual, non-binary, and any other such sexual orientation and gender indentity. I also consider it a reclamation kind of thing, but I totally understand why some may take issue with it.

Now.

There are many people who think that waaay too much airtime and debate time etc is being given to the issue of same sex marriage - and I am inclined to agree. Same sex marriage needs to happen, I don't want to diminish the importance of that. Going back to the AIDS crisis when partners were not allowed to visit their dying loved ones in hospital because they weren’t “family”, to now where it complicates adoption, housing, insurance, and all kinds of other such issues, as well as simply giving us the same legitimacy in the eyes of the law as heterosexual marriages, it would be completely disrespectful of me to say that legalising same sex marriage is not of cultural and historical significance. (And btw the term "same sex marriage", as opposed to "gay" marriage, is vital because not all same sex-attracted people are gay).

However, with the incredibly frustrating length of time that it's taking to get it done, the emphasis on "fair debate" (I could write a whole other status-essay on why that is bullshit) and the cowardice of certain political leaders, I'm concerned that the more this specific issue gets thrown back and forth, the more people will think that same sex marriage is the ONLY queer issue worth discussing or that is important. I'm referring to both straight people and gay people within my own community who I would've thought would be much more open-minded and considerate. Once we get same sex marriage there are other things that have often gone ignored that need to be addressed. There are many other letters in this beautiful rainbow, after all.

Issues such as - why is mental illness and being queer so often intertwined?

Why do 16% of queer people attempt suicide before the age of 27? Why do 35% of trans people attempt in their lifetime? 35!! Why do such a disproportionate amount of homeless people ID as queer? (40% according to my last google search. I don’t know the statistics of non-homeless people who ID as queer but it certainly nowhere near that.)

Why am I still uncomfortable holding my boyfriend’s hand in public after being with him for over three and a half years?  Just the other day an extremely drunk man stumbling right out the front of our house asked us ‘Are you poofters?’ as we approached before going off on some unintelligible tirade. I have countless similar anecdotes that I may get into another time in other posts because it’s all being brought up lately.

I’m sure I’m only scraping the surface, and legalising same sex marriage will certainly be an excellent step toward tackling those issues, but our general cultural mindset about queer people needs to change.

Speaking of (and what I really wanted to get at) have the continued misunderstanding and sometimes complete lack of knowledge or awareness of trans people and people who are non-binary. That is another national conversation we need to start having so we can find the path to accepting and embracing these people the same way that many have embraced us gays. Hell, I’ve been lucky enough to be born cis, white, male, and into a loving and accepting family and I STILL get super anxious and self-conscious about my (frankly quite boring) sexual orientation, so I can’t even imagine what my friends tackling their gender identity and wider society’s resistance to it must be going through.

Genders that are not ‘male’ and ‘female’ have existed in many societies for centuries. We need to learn why correct pronouns are important, and how gender roles and stereotypes continue to shackle ALL of us (they can, of course, be liberating to some). As a cis man, I feel I can't comment much further on this but I welcome any trans or non-binary friends I have to chime in if they like.

Not to mention so many other issues that actually ARE so complex that they require debate after debate to come to a resolution. That is why we’re frustrated, because if the simple stuff is taking this damn long then how long will it take for the rest of it?

While I'm here, if I see the term "politically correct/incorrect" used as a way of negating respect for minorities, or as some bizarre form of riling up conservatives (I'm looking at you Mr Abbott) one more time I am going to scream.