THIS BLOG IS DONE STOP FOLLOWING IT

this is the funniest thing that’s happened all month

Nursey watches Dex blink, slow, long red eyelashes fluttering. “Like, technically, or poetically?” he asks with too many syllables.

“Truthfully.”

Dex frowns. “Ach.”

Farmer giggles.

“S’like a shutout,” Chowder says, from somewhere vaguely to Nursey’s right, but he hasn’t looked away from Dex since he dropped his head onto Nursey’s thigh, so Nursey can’t be all that sure. “S’like, you did a good thing. And you got a good thing. S’just, like. Good.”

“I’m assuming,” Dex said, eyebrows doing that condescending thing he likes to do but all wonky, because of the alcohol, “if this fake person doesn’t know what falling in love it, they won’t know what hockey is either.”

Nursey snorts and Dex looks at him. Nursey can’t breathe for a few short moments and then he smiles and Dex smiles back and Nursey really, really wants to touch his hair.

“That wasn’t in the rules,” Chowder says back, from somewhere to the right, and Farmer backs him up mildly, but enough to satisfy him. Dex mumbles something inaudible, but tonally dismissive, and Chowder says, “How would you describe it then?” and Nursey’s heart perks up in his chest.

“I don’t–” Dex purses his lips. “I– I don’t know, it’s just, like, there.”

Chowder snorts, victorious, and Dex hurries to add on.

“No, like, it’s just there. It’s like you were going in this direction the whole time even though you thought you were going somewhere else and it’s, like, it’s a great trip and you’ve got-got all the snack and music and it’s scenic and shit and then you look over and someone’s in the passenger seat and you’re like oh, that’s– that’s why it’s been so nice. You know?”

Nursey stares at the cluster of freckles on Dex’s cheek. The room is silent, like no one is breathing, but Nursey knows he is breathing, mostly because he’s surprised that he is.

“Oh,” Chowder says, from somewhere to the right. Farmer hums.

this is him now:

some people: what if the ferrari belongs to jack

some people: what if the ferrari belongs to kent parson

Check, Please! Update!

strive to be as happy as Cole was when he scored the OT game winning goal!

i know, i know. it makes so much sense for him to be a ravenclaw or a gryffindor or even a hufflepuff. but CONSIDER.

(disclaimer, jk rowling sucks, and i’m using hogwarts houses because they just happen to collect people into four very well-known categories)

i think jack is a slytherin but not in the nasty, slimy way we see slytherins in the books. this might be me projecting on jack (it is definitely me projecting on jack) but i think that he takes refuge in academia and in throwing himself intellectually into everything he does– doodling hockey plays in his notes, anyone? which makes him seem like quite the ravenclaw, living under a rock, coming out to talk about history documentaries and hockey

but i submit that this jack is a jack who is very closed off and protecting himself with armor made of books and documentaries and academia, things that distract him from stuff like his emotions or what’s going on in his life and allow him to effectively retreat into a shell

in year four we see a very open jack zimmermann. he’s out, he’s surrounded by people who love him, he’s doing what he wants to do (AND he’s succeeding at it), and he is honestly happy. and he’s a slytherin.

we all know jack is ambitious, almost to the point of self-destruction. he has big goals for himself, it’s why he went to samwell instead of coaching peewee for the rest of his life. and he pushes himself incredibly hard (harder than God, one might say). 

we also know that jack is cunning. he has his moments of bold, straightforward action, but those are frequently driven by bitty (running to him after graduation, the kiss at center ice which is bitty’s idea directly). we see his cunning in a more everyday context: tricking bitty into writing his thesis, for example. while the rest of bitty’s team is focused on blocking out any and all distractions, jack is addressing the root of the problem– he knows bitty, and he knows the best way to get bitty to write his thesis, because just ‘not having distractions’ never stops a master procrastinator. but if he can trick bitty into writing his thesis… by framing it as bitty procrastinating on writing his thesis… and it fucking works. he also knows how to frame it in a way that will make bitty actually do something: if bitty doesn’t finish his thesis, he doesn’t graduate, and then they can’t live together. because interpersonal threats work on bitty and he knows this.