VOYAGEUSE DE LA MER

The progress of my New Year’s resolution...

Here’s what our parents never taught us: You will stay up on your rooftop until sunlight peels away the husk of the moon, chainsmoking cigarettes and reading Baudelaire, and you will learn that you only ever want to fall in love with someone who will stay up to watch the sun rise with you. You will fall in love with train rides, and sooner or later you will realize that nowhere seems like home anymore. A woman will kiss you and you’ll think her lips are two petals rubbing against your mouth. You will not tell anyone that you liked it. It’s okay. It is beautiful to love humans in a world where love is a metaphor for lust. You can leave if you want, with only your skin as a carry-on. All you need is a twenty in your pocket and a bus ticket. All you need is someone on the other end of the map, thinking about the supple curves of your body, to guide you to a home that stretches out for miles and miles on end. You will lie to everyone you love. They will love you anyways. One day you’ll wake up and realize that you are too big for your own skin. Molt. Don’t be afraid. Your body is a house where the shutters blow in and out against the windowpane. You are a hurricane-prone area. The glass will break through often. But it’s okay. I promise. Remember, a stranger once told you that the breeze here is something worth writing poems about.

“My solitude doesn’t depend on the presence or absence of people; on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company.”