martthalimbong

I remember

When I was 6 and you taught me how to ride a bicycle. I fell down and I scraped my knee. You were there laughing, and helped me rise up to try once again.

 I remember

When I was 9 and a whole circus came to town to do a show. You went home earlier to brought us to watch it. I remember the price was not cheap and your money was just enough to buy 3 tickets. I remember the other children were terribly jealous of us.

 I remember

How you are my favorite one because you were always so calm. Never once had you risen your volume at us. Never once you scolded me if my grades were not doing as good. Never once had I remembered you being angry at me.

 I remember

How you were the one who taught me how to swim, taught me how to play various sports. How you kept your patience even though I'm so bad at them. How you're the one who first supported my hobby of reading and collecting comics. We had never have lot of money but once in awhile you would asked some of the students at Trisakti to give away their old books and comics to your little daughter, because she was such a bookworm, and you were proud of her.

 I remember

The slow, agonizing process of how you drifted away from your family; your supposed loved ones.

The day I found out that my father, the one who was supposed to be my superhero—the kind of man I should marry someday; cheated on my mother.

 I remember

The way you broke my mother's heart.

The way you broke mine.

 I remember

Feeling so disappointed. Feeling so speechless. Feeling so lost. Feeling so much hatred.

 I remember

The slow, agonizing process of how we drifted apart. How I refused to talk to you if not necessary. How you kept mother crying for her loss; because she no longer found her husband—the man she had once fallen in love with, within you.

Because her children no longer found the father they had once loved and adored, within you.

 I remember

The day mom's gone. And how you hugged me tightly in your arms. How you helped me rise up — just like when I scraped my knee on my first bicycle —and told me it was time to gave our family a second chance.

 I remember

How time had passed by, and still I couldn't get better. I was fine on the outside but still very much hurting and bleeding on the inside.

But I remember you were doing just fine. How you had started to pick up your old pattern again, the one you promised me, promised us, you would try to leave for good.

 I remember

How you had disappointed me for the second time.

And the third.

And the fourth.

And again, and again.

Kept me bleeding. Kept me hurting on the ground.

I remember how you did not seem to remember that you were supposed to be the one who help me rise up from my fall. Not at that time.

Never again.

 I remember

The day you were the one who had fallen, and still you have my brother and I to be there to help picked you up.

I remember so much crying.

Thinking; oh, maybe this time my father would realized they still had us; maybe this is how the three of us would be together for good.

 I remember

The day you left me.

And three now becomes two.

 I remember

The way you made me feel.

The happiness.

The loneliness.

The relief.

The sadness.

The emptiness.

 There are times I wish to feel indifference.

So that I could stop feeling.

But this emptiness?

I wish I would have never felt this way for the second time.

But here I am.

And there you gone.

 You see

I had never truly hated you

Not when I still secretly hoping that you would come back.

Not when I loved you

So much it hurts

So much that whenever you disappointed me you left piece of me breaks and bleeds on the ground.

So much that I still dare to hope.

So much

That now I was lost for the second time.

 We drifted apart and you left me forever

But I loved you, never stop loving you, and now I try to hang on so that one day I could rise up for myself, for mom

 To rise up—without you; for you.

Latihan Dasar CPNS Gelombang III Kementerian Hukum dan HAM Tahun 2019

BPSDM Hukum dan HAM

Latihan Dasar CPNS Gelombang III Kementerian Hukum dan HAM Tahun 2019

BPSDM Hukum dan HAM

Latihan Dasar CPNS Gelombang III Kementerian Hukum dan HAM Tahun 2019

BPSDM Hukum dan HAM

Latihan Dasar CPNS Gelombang III Kementerian Hukum dan HAM Tahun 2019

BPSDM Hukum dan HAM