Anywherebound / chapter XI : pure gasoline
And you wanna scream
Don't call me "kid"
Don't call me "baby"
Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
You showed me colors
You know I can't see with anyone else
Don't call me "kid"
Don't call me "baby"
Look at this idiotic fool that you made me
You taught me a secret language
I can't speak with anyone else
And you know damn well
For you, I would ruin myself
A million little times
Jamie lay there, sprawled across Mason's chiseled body. He was a hollow, shell of a man that was weightless compared to the fullness of Mason. Mason felt full of all the characteristics an angel would have. They were both sweaty and drenched with the guilt of something wrong that felt so right. Mason came to check up on him now he was under him.
''Jamie?'' Mason whispered into his ear, slightly tilting his head to reach his ear. He left behind soft kisses on the cartilage of his upper ear.
''Mhm..?'' Jamie was still coming down from being geeked off a line, so he'd just rested his head on Mason's shoulder with his eyes wide open and the occasional 'tweaker twitch'.
Trevor would call it that whenever they both came down from a high together, their bodies would give short jolts.
''I was kind of thinking maybe you should like.. stay at my place for the night? Just cause like, I'm worried about you, dude.'' Mason's shy proposal was enough to entice Jamie enough.
''No drugs, kay? Just weed. No drinking either.'' He looked at Jamie, not expecting to get any eye contact.
''Sure, 'mean it's your house,'' Jamie said this quite hesitantly, but he really is not the type to be rude like that.
''I'll get all your necessary stuff like... I dunno your toothbrush? What else is there?'' Mason's warm tone brought comfort to Jamie, despite not saying anything in particular to set him off like that.
''Yeah man, just uh.. my meds and shit, yaknow?'' Jamie muttered.
''I gotchu, if you wanna get yourself ready and hop in the car go ahead.'' His brown eyes were soft and welcoming. Jamie could just dive into them and never come up for air.
A couple minutes had passed already.
Jamie lay face up on the couch, twiddling his thumbs in his lap as he heard Mason shuffling around in the background. His presence was like ambient noise, but when he made himself obvious it was like the angels were calling to him.
The small weight of his phone in his pocket comforted him.
It felt like Trevor's hand on his lap. Or Mason's. He couldn't really pinpoint it.
Apart from fidgeting with his hands, the lingering thought of something so minuscule and irrelevant ran a marathon around his mind.
How the fuck do you call a guy whose dick you were just on 'man' or 'bro' or any of that hetero lingo.
Mason eventually came down with Jamie's toiletries, charger, and a fresh pair of clothes draping over his tanned arms and a bottle of pills in his hand.
''Ready?'' Mason said, in an uplifting tone.
Jamie gave a hesitant nod and dragged his heavy, lethargic self off the couch and trailing behind Mason to the door.
The hot, southern Californian sun beat down on his face. Though harsh feeling, Jamie could stare as it hit Mason's face like beams sent down by Jesus. Soon after daydreaming, Jamie looked back a bit and saw Mason shutting the door.
Along the path, there was a roach left over from a joint. He could tell Trevor could have left it at some point. The filter portion was slightly gnawed off. He tended to do that when he was anxious.
Jamie didn't pay much mind.
The trek to the car down the long driveway seemed endless, as Jamie found himself climbing into the passenger seat of Mason's shiny 2020 Cadillac DeVille. Inside the car, it was stuffy but in a comfortable way. He felt the vibration of the car start up while Mason pulled out of his driveway down onto the highway.
Under the embrace of the golden Californian sun, a sleek Cadillac gracefully cruised through the picturesque countryside of Southern California. The terrain unfolded before it like an ever-changing tapestry, with the plush leather seats giving both Jamie and Mason some ever-needed comfort.
The car traversed winding country roads that cut through fields of golden wheat, their swaying stalks shimmering like waves in the breeze. To the horizon, the imposing silhouette of rugged mountains stood sentinel, their peaks kissed by wisps of white clouds. A symphony of scents filled the air—earthy soil, the sweet fragrance of wildflowers, and the distant aroma of citrus groves.
Beneath the DeVille's hood, the V8 engine purred with restrained strength, effortlessly navigating the curves and undulations of the countryside. Mason's hands rested on the steering wheel, but it seemed as though the coupe possessed an innate connection to the burnt asphalt, guiding itself along the winding path.
Quaint farmhouses and rustic barns dotted the countryside, each telling a story of the hardworking people who called this serene landscape home. Tall eucalyptus trees lined the road, casting dappled shadows on rolling fields of dead grass leading to some foothills. It looked fairly out of place; such a clean, perfect car driving through the humble rural area carrying one of the most angry, confused, dirty, fucked up man in the area.
Amidst the serene landscapes of SoCal, a secluded home stood as a testament to a love that had slowly smoldered and ignited. Jamie and Mason's gaze connected at a point of the gorgeous house in front of them.
Jamie, with his overgrown hair and eyes that held a thousand unspoken words, and with his spirit as wild as the surrounding canyons. Mason, his counterpart, possessed the usual gentle grace that could soothe even the most restless of hearts.
The sun bathed them in its warm embrace. The wind tousled their hair while the windows rolled down.
Approaching the house, its terracotta walls seemed to absorb the golden rays of the sun, blending seamlessly with the landscape. Tall cacti stood sentinel, welcoming them with ancient wisdom. Birds sang, their melodies serenading their arrival, as if nature itself rejoiced in their union. Everything was so much more different from Jamie's mock trap house where he did nothing but cry, get high, and eventually almost end up self-destructing
The house, a blend of rustic charm and modern elegance, perched on the edge of a canyon. Arched windows framed endless vistas. A stone path led them to the front door, where a wrought-iron knocker awaited their touch. Jamie's step was present yet barely, and Mason's was bright and assertive. He adjusted Jamie's belongings in his arms as he almost dropped them all while climbing out of the car.
With fingers fleeting, holding each other's wrists, Jamie and Mason entered a world that felt like a dream. Sunlight bathed the stone floors in warmth, and the air carried the soothing scent of lavender.
In the heart of the home, they enter a living room adorned with an eclectic mix of furniture, each piece holding memories of shared moments. A shelf of photographs captured majestic animals among the plains. In one corner, a grand piano seemed to echo the faint music of their hearts.
''Just go have a look around, i'll start the hot water for you if you wanna go take a bath. I'll be setting it up down the hall if you need me.'' Jamie didn't even have to look and he could hear the smile in Mason's voice.
He ignored Mason, but he felt like he's said and done enough to him for now.
As he explored, he was drawn to French doors opening onto a stone terrace. From there, the breathtaking panorama of the canyon stretched out before him, a testament to the grandeur of nature.
In that timeless moment, as the sun started to shine more intensely, Jamie felt the depth of how Mason's house reflected him as a person. This secluded home had become a sanctuary for him, where every glance and shared breath added to the slow-burning fire that had ignited between them. Seconds turned into minutes, as they went on for what seemed like hours until he heard Mason call his name from the archway.
''Likin' the balcony, yeah James?'' Mason called as his voice traveled past Jamie and around him, enveloping him with the feeling of belonging. He displayed a friendly smirk on his face, just killing Jamie slowly more than he already was.
For the first time in a long time, Jamie cracked a slight smile.
Mason's energy radiated around him, contagious to Jamie.
Jamie gave a gentle nod of approval as an unexplainable force pulled him into Mason's arms. He wrapped his own around Mason, leaning his head on his shoulder.
''Shower's all ready for you, even left some of my clothes for you to borrow.. or take if you really wanted.''
''Noticed some of yours weren't in the best of shape for you to be comfortable in...''
Jamie's smile faded. Mason was right. His clothes weren't in great shape because he could hardly take care of himself, let alone get any clothes that weren't old, oversized, pilled, and itchy beyond belief.
He gave a gentle kiss on Mason's cheeked, which made him jump but settle into it rather quick. He said nothing as he made his way to the bathroom.
Mason's bathroom was a haven of freshness, a sanctuary where Jamie could escape the cares of the world and indulge in a moment of rejuvenation. The soft, muted color palette created an atmosphere of tranquility, with pale blue walls and white tiles that gleamed in the gentle illumination of recessed LED lights overhead.
A large, frameless mirror stretched across one wall, reflecting the pristine simplicity of the room. Its polished surface seemed to amplify the sense of space, making the bathroom feel even more inviting. Beneath the mirror, a sleek, modern vanity boasted a pristine marble countertop adorned with carefully arranged toiletries belonging to Jamie, a testament of Mason's attention to detail.
The centerpiece of the room was a luxurious bathtub, a freestanding vessel of sculpted porcelain that invited relaxation. A chrome faucet and handheld showerhead stood ready for use, promising a soothing cascade of water at the perfect temperature. Water was blowing off a bit of steam as it fell from the showerhead splashing onto the pool of crystal clear water. Nearby, a plush bathmat in a shade of pale gray added a touch of warmth to the cool, pristine atmosphere.
On one wall, a glass-enclosed shower with gleaming chrome fixtures awaited its next occupant. The pristine white tiles within the shower glistened with cleanliness, and a built-in niche held an array of bath products, neatly organized and ready to be used. A rainfall showerhead promised a refreshing cascade of water, completing the spa-like experience.
In one corner, a row of fluffy white towels hung from a sleek towel rack, their softness an invitation to wrap Jamie in comfort after a refreshing shower or bath. A small potted plant on a shelf added a touch of greenery to the room, bringing a hint of the outdoors inside.
The bathroom exuded an aura of serenity and cleanliness, a place where the cares of the day could be washed away in a refreshing and inviting environment. Sitting on top of the toilet lid was a pair of fleece lined grey sweats, clean boxers and socks, as well as one of Mason's crewnecks with an embroidered Champion logo.
Jamie took a gaze around before he rid himself of his sweaty, dirty clothes and left them in a laundry basket along with Mason's dirty clothes.
It was like Jamie was meant to be there. Mason had made it feel like it was his house, too. After not having a place in the world, a place where he could be vulnerable felt amazing.
He stepped into the water, lowering himself into the bath. Some hot water still trickled down until it led up to mid-waist height. Jamie obviously knew how to bathe, but it was like he hadn't in a while; at least properly. It was always a quick rinse-and-go. Did he ever have a reason to care? The only time he would go out was to go buy more drugs. Trevor did most of the going out for groceries and various relevant jobs. It was just more of a Trevor task.
Feeling his own body was unfamiliar like the one he was in was disconnected from his head. He rubbed a new bar of soap on himself. When he went to deeply lather it into his skin it felt wrong. He was never one to care about his body, much less even see it as part of him.
After rinsing all the soap off himself, he eventually soaked his hair with the showerhead and massaged shampoo and conditioner into his hair and scalp.
Eventually rinsing out the shampoo and conditioner, something felt wrong.
Jamie reclined in the bathtub, surrounded by the soothing warmth of the water. Steam billowed through the bathroom, creating a hazy atmosphere. His eyes were half-closed, and his body was submerged in the deep, relaxing bath. The dimly lit room provided a sense of serenity, the harsh fluorescent lights above the mirror remaining untouched.
Unbeknownst to Mason, Jamie had been struggling with sinus issues for a while, a consequence of his raging coke habit that he always regretted. As he leaned back against the tub, he felt a familiar tingling sensation at the bridge of his nose, a harbinger of yet another nosebleed.
With slow, deliberate movements, Jamie reached for a nearby washcloth, his fingers trembling slightly with anxiety. The water in the tub had turned pink, and he knew he needed to act quickly to avoid a mess. Pressing the washcloth against his nose, he leaned forward, trying to contain the flow.
The warm water now seemed to mock him, its soothing embrace disrupted by the crimson rivulets that flowed from his nose. His breathing became shallow, a mixture of frustration and fear.
Outside the bathroom, Mason's footsteps echoed softly as he approached the door, concern etched across his face. He had sensed something was amiss, and now he knew Jamie needed him.
"Jamie, are you okay in there?" Mason's voice carried a blend of worry and compassion.
Jamie, struggling to speak through the cloth pressed to his nose, managed a feeble, "I lowkey need help. Okay, maybe not so lowkey''
Without hesitation, Mason pushed open the bathroom door and entered the steam-filled room, his gaze locking onto Jamie's troubled expression. The sight of his partner in distress spurred him to immediate action.
Kneeling beside the bathtub, Mason reached for a clean towel and gently lifted Jamie's head. He used the towel to catch the trickling blood, his touch gentle yet resolute. The bathroom was filled with a palpable tension, but also an unspoken understanding and love that bound these two souls together.
"We'll take care of this, Jim, I'm right here." Mason assured, his voice unwavering. He continued to support Jamie, offering solace and reassurance in the face of vulnerability.
Mason remained steadfast by Jamie's side as the nosebleed slowly subsided. With the gentlest touch, he continued to hold the towel against Jamie's nose, catching the last crimson droplets that trickled down. The bathroom was a sanctuary of warmth and concern, the haze of steam now tinged with a sense of relief.
Gradually, the flow of blood began to ebb, and Jamie's breathing steadied. He gave Mason a grateful, albeit weak, smile, their eyes locking in a silent exchange of love and reassurance. Mason, knowing Jamie was still feeling vulnerable, spoke softly, "You're doing great, Jamie. It's almost over."
With Mason's support, Jamie carefully leaned forward, allowing the last traces of the nosebleed to be absorbed by the towel. Mason then set the blood-soaked cloth aside and fetched a fresh, warm washcloth to clean Jamie's face. He gently dabbed away the remnants of blood, his touch tender and reassuring.
Once Jamie felt composed enough, Mason reached for the faucet and began to run lukewarm water into the tub. He helped Jamie to his feet, steadying him as he stepped out of the bath. The water cascaded off Jamie's body, carrying away the remnants of the ordeal.
Mason fetched a soft, fluffy towel and wrapped it around Jamie, enveloping him in its warmth. He began to gently pat Jamie's skin dry, his motions slow and deliberate, radiating a deep sense of care and devotion. Jamie closed his eyes, allowing himself to be cocooned in Mason's love and support.
With the drying complete, Mason led Jamie to the bedroom, where fresh clothes were laid out with meticulous care. Mason helped Jamie into his crewneck, as well as slipping his legs through the boxers and sweats. Jamie found the strength to put on his own socks. Mason's fingers moved with a tenderness that spoke volumes.
As they sat side by side on the edge of the bed, Jamie looked into Mason's eyes, a profound gratitude filling his heart. Words seemed insufficient, so he simply reached out and held Mason's hand, their fingers entwined in a silent promise of unwavering love and support.
Mason smiled warmly, his love for Jamie shining through in that simple gesture. He whispered, "It's all gonna be okay. Promise you.''
After the ordeal with the nosebleed, Jamie found peacein the soft, welcoming embrace of Mason's bed. Its warmth and faint vanilla bean scent enveloped him, creating a haven of respite from life's troubles.
As he lay there, his senses slowly regaining their equilibrium, Jamie heard the gentle sounds of Mason moving about in the adjacent room. He knew Mason was pouring a glass of cold water, a small act of care that meant the world to him.
Moments later, Mason returned, a chilled glass of water in hand. He approached the bed and set the glass on the nightstand before joining Jamie beneath the covers. The bed dipped as Mason settled beside him, their bodies close but not crowded.
Mason's presence was a balm to Jamie's soul, a reminder that he was never alone in his struggles. With a loving smile, Mason reached for the glass and offered it to Jamie, who gratefully took a sip of the cool water. It was refreshing, both physically and emotionally, washing away the residual tension from the earlier ordeal.
Setting the glass aside, Jamie turned to face Mason, their eyes locking in an unspoken understanding. No words were needed in this intimate moment. Jamie extended his arm, inviting Mason to draw closer, and Mason wrapped his arms around Jamie, their bodies molding together in a perfect fit.
They lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, the rhythm of their breaths syncing in the quiet of the room. The cares of the world seemed to melt away as they basked in the warmth of their connection. It was a moment of pure intimacy, a sanctuary where they could find solace and strength in each other's presence.
As they lay there, Jamie couldn't help but smile, his heart filled with gratitude for the unwavering love and support that Mason had shown him. In the embrace of their quietly shared love, they found comfort, and the world outside seemed to fade into insignificance.
There were still a few things on Jamie's crowded.
One being how he went from being ''just homies'' with Mason to treating each other like new romantics. Hey, they always say those types are the best people in life to be.
The final one being how he felt normal for once, with someone other than Trevor. Even though being with Mason was different, their situationship didn't carry the same love-hate feeling Jamie always lived alongside. Trevor taught him a secret language only they could speak. He showed him colors only their eyes could see.
Even being the mess he is, and the one Trevor contributed greatly to, there was nowhere he'd rather be than be with the man who fed the flame a million little times.
