BURRITO

are we not all camgirls in a mass surveillance state

"google ai" "spotify ai dj" "ai assistant" "enhanced by ai" what if i just start beating people over the head with a rock

you should be able to walk into your local CVS and get your uterus removed for $14.99 bro like I don't even care anymore

Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired-police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, “damn, we’re out of decaf” and he just deadpans “well there’s no need to get hysterical.”

Yesterday he said “if you need to insult the same person twice you’ve already failed in your goal to devastate them”

My Yaya was trying to remember the name of a guy who stole money from her in high school today and my grandpa instantly pipes up “his name was Bernie Ryan and he was a scoundrel”

this club has everything! sea shanties, a lighthouse, homoeroticism, madness from the sea, a giant squid

If you’re not destroying the sanctity of marriage and making a mockery of traditional gender roles, then you’re really missing out.

cottagecore is over lighthousecore is IN

i’ve noticed a lot of terfs reblogging this for some reason which is weird because i forgot to mention that the giant squid feeds exclusively on transphobes