Don't wake me up

and soon

please

the TL:DR:

Christmas special cancelled

Russell T Davies and his production company are leaving the show

RTD has confirmed on Instagram that there was never a script or proper plan for the Christmas special

The show is going out to competitive tender.

For anyone who is confused as to what 'competitive tender' means:

the best case scenario here is that the BBC find a new contractor who can make an acceptable version of Doctor Who for less money and in a few years time we get a whole new version of the show with a new Doctor etc.

I’m not sure what the right word is. He does have confidence in his skills, the moment he gets into the zone with his work of any kind (teaching, sciencing), once he gets out of his own way he has no hesitation. But away from that, he does seem to think very little of himself, or rather, doesn’t see that he could have genuine worth to others. He is out of sync with humanity in general, even though he does have the tools to connect with people fairly easily, mostly with humor/teaching. When they tell him he’s the new science officer for the Hail Mary, he calls himself a failure, simply the type of person who is unable to succeed despite his obvious and huge achievements.

I don’t think he’s a coward at all. I think he feels alone and afraid most of the time, for whatever reasons (the book/movie do not tell us — past tragedy? Traumatic experiences? Autism? Simply his temperament? His career flameout is most likely a symptom of this, not the cause) and he is constantly doing it afraid, constantly having to be brave every single day. He has his comfort zones (teaching, sciencing) and his coping mechanisms (humor, burying himself in work) but he’s always afraid. That’s why when he fails (career flameout, astrophage are made of water, etc) he breaks and lashes out in frustration, releasing all that tension in a rush. He pushes himself so hard and he fails anyway and he crashes out/melts down.

And when he has amnesia, he’s still afraid. He isn’t suddenly a fearless person without his memories. He’s terrified, waking up in space alone. But he is also the kind of person who refuses to just give up, especially with something so important, because he cares so much. It’s love of science and people that drives him for everything, even when he feels certain he doesn’t belong with either. It’s love that drives him to save Rocky.

This has probably been done better by other people, but I wanted to get my thoughts down.

We know Grace was incredibly angry as a younger man. Vindictively, savagely, self-destructively furious. He torpedoed his career, torched every bridge he had, and salted the earth behind him - all in defense of a theory that the viewer is unequivocally told is wrong. Astrophage has water in it; in the book, it's made clear that Eridians do, too, and that's interesting. That that rage is never vindicated.

That's not how things usually work - the abrasive young wunderkind might be completely out of line, but he's right! But PHM firmly lets that particular narrative pitfall wither on the vine, along with quite a few others.

When the film starts, Grace has spent years if not excising, then taming that anger. He is gentle, vulnerable, funny. He dresses in soft and eccentric clothing, he works with children, they love him. When Stratt brings out his thesis, he's visibly embarrassed. He is not that person anymore. He doesn't want to be.

(Relatedly, that's why I think that when he tried to literally nope out of Stratt's room of experts when asked to explain Astrophage breeding to them, it wasn't stage fright or intimidation. He was afraid of it happening again.)

Most interestingly is that when you see this in countless other stories, a man who's lost his anger and/or who is no longer working in his chosen field is a tragic, pitiable figure. He's a has-been, he's broken. Washed up. Missing something vital. But Grace isn't presented that way at all.

It is a good thing that he's not angry anymore. (The closest we get is him throwing a little tantrum in the lab after finding water in Astrophage - old wounds resurfacing, a glimpse of who he used to be, and something that's played for cringing laughs.) It's a good thing he's not that person who can't stop and think or take criticism or input or play well with others anymore, because if he were - he wouldn't have survived. Earth and Erid wouldn't have survived!

Even when it would be understandable for him to be angry, he's quickly soothed by Rocky and the pressing necessity of the situation. It's not a useful emotion for the mission or for Grace. It's made so clear that not only is this a net good, but he ends the film as a teacher again, a "lesser" job that he sees as vitally important and personally fulfilling. There was never anything wrong with him or anything missing.

Which brings me to the fear.

I feel like fear is presented as a fairly neutral emotion in the film, especially because Grace's cowardice comes through much more strongly than in the book. His initial refusal to sacrifice himself for Earth doesn't make him a villain. It's understandable, and there is no satisfaction in his being run down, tied up, knocked out, and loaded onto the Hail Mary.

If he'd made it, or if Stratt had listened to his "no," it wouldn't have made him evil...but it would have been the wrong decision for Grace personally. I don't think he could have lived with it. He would have wondered, as people died the world over, how many fewer of them there would have been if he'd gone when he were asked.

In the moment, the fear overwhelmed his ability for foresight and reasoning. Kind of like the anger did when he was younger, at the UNESCO science conference he dug his grave at.

But Grace is a man who knows how to change, how to work on himself, and how to adapt. So when he's presented with the exact same choice near the end of the story, but without anyone to force him this time, he chooses differently. He goes back for Rocky and Erid, because even though he's still afraid to die, he loves him enough to face death down voluntarily to save lives. And that brings his character arc to an immensely satisfying final resting place.

PHM is a story about a man embracing things beyond anger and fear and being a hero for it. You do not have to be angry, it's okay if you're afraid, it's okay if you're wrong. The love is enough, and you won't make it without other people.

Like, he apologizes for his behavior in the lab at the beginning because imo IT IS JUST SO WEIRD. It doesn’t seem like such a wolf note on the bigscreen maybe but it’s actually REALLY fun, unusual, and discordant that he has this character trait.

coaxionunlimited:

this is additionally weird for a teacher - if he did any of that around his students he would be unimaginably fired. and like, he should be teaching his kids anger management so he definitely should have better strategies than this...

manyblinkinglights:

This is one reason I REALLY like him/his characterization, because imo he’s really put the work in to be good at teaching. See: the complete expungement of cusses! This guy as depicted like genuinely did a bunch of work on himself and exerted selfcontrol and just, took general grownup mature actions in order to Be a teacher. It’s great! His carefully structured cope doesn’t even fully desert him in space! He’s just apparently NATURALLY got these foibles bubbling up where he hasn’t nurtured them out.

rakel-on-ao3:

Then Grace goes back for Rocky.