g'day for pay

“ay yo xzibit where dat money u owe me?”

i love dissociating!! the way i just *clenches fist* …. whose hand is that

apprentice and master baker makin biscuits

For some reason this amuses me

demolished

Gottem!

i went to fact check this and he literally is

fuck them up philip

Today a man came in to buy collars for his 10 cats, and when I asked what kind of cats he had, he replied very seriously ‘They’re all supermodels.’

I just cannot stop thinking about this man. Like, he was a reasonably attractive middle-aged guy in a clearly nice but dishevelled suit? And he just seemed to think that this was an entirely normal request? And he clearly cared about his cats after our (very) long conversation, he kept talking about how the council was doing nothing to stop some people in the neighbourhood trapping cats for dog bait and he was really mad about this and he needed to protect his cats, but again, I stress, this guy genuinely did not seem to think that anyone would find the number of TEN CATS a large number of cats. He was just like, super casual at the end, ‘oh yes, also, I will need ten, one for each of my ten cats’. And I was like, ‘that’s a lot of cats!’ and he just did not seem to think it was a lot of cats? Also he had like hundreds of dollars in cash, and was clearly happy to just drop a bunch of money on stuff for his ten cats. I want him to come back. I’m burning with curiousity. I may be in love.

I’m for sure in love

just made toast, 4/10 would’ve been better without the cheap jumpscare at the end