Hermosa's Slave

there are few things more fun and hot (really!) than to serve a lady who enjoys the idea of having a man so eager, and so willing to submit to her. and domestic servitude can be a perfect way to explore these things together, in a fun and consensual way. but what does that even mean, and how can I be done? so, here are a few basics.

1. what does it consist of? 

in summary: serving the other person’s every whims at home. as simples as that. this is not different from any other “dominant vs submissive” game. it revolves around the sub serving, pampering, submitting and obeying their dom, not just during sex or in the bedroom, but also during everyday life. the frequency and intensity in which happens change from person to person: it’s all about the agreement you establish with your play partner. domestic servitude is ultimately a form of displaying power, control, submission and devotion through the action of carrying out certain domestic tasks on the behalf, or under the command of another person. and it’s a really powerful and incredible way of turning everyday boring routine into a super fun and nearly magical experience, spicing up your life.

2. does it involve sex? 

not really, but it might depending on what you’re into. for some, domestic servitude can be used as a very powerful built-up: a way to arouse and stimulate each other over time, leading to wild sex later on. additionally, you could turn it into a sex-game of sorts: for instance, test your partner’s focus and their ability to actually perform tasks under extreme conditions: say, for example, wash the dishes while you touch them from behind making them edge over and over, or see if they’re able to carry out a certain task you have assigned them while you temptingly rest naked somewhere nearby, maybe even touching yourself at their sight. so, yes, it can definitely be used as a way to spice things up, sexually speaking. but on many other occasions it might have absolutely nothing to do with sex: for many, this is an intimate lifestyle to be built together, a couple’s secret and fun ritual of sorts. sometimes, it can be both: there’s no right or wrong really, so just discuss things out with your partner. the important thing is: while it might involve some sort of sexual (or even just sensual) teasing from your partner sometimes, domestic service doesn’t revolve around sex, and it doesn’t mean that sex should be expected or taken for granted. and trust me, domestic servitude can be just as hot even without any sex involved, if done right.

3. what are the things that can be done? 

well, you tell me. that sounds sassy, but really, ultimately the answer to that lies within your own interests and needs. lets say mr. and ms. smith were curious about domestic servitude and decided to give it a try. first, they should talk and discuss ahead of time what they both feel comfortable with and what their ideal dynamic looks like in their minds. after that’s done, it usually means ms. smith will - generally speaking - be free to boss mr. smith around as much as she wants, making him do whatever she tells him to: vacuum the house, wipe things clean, rub the floor, do the dishes, make the bed, water the plants, organise her closet, walk the dog, cook or serve drinks, wash and iron clothes, etc. the sky is the limit, really, so embrace your imagination and allow yourself to relax and enjoy things as much as you can. if you’re feeling really adventurous you can do things in a way that might reinforce (even more than usual) the state of helplessness of one person and the empowered status of the other person: for example, make the person who’s doing the chores, do so in a very obedient and humbly way, maybe sometimes kneeling or bowing down, or, alternatively, make them do something simple but in a way that takes twice longer and is almost humiliating (like, for instance, to clean something using a small tooth brush), knowing they’d accept it and do it for you. apart from each other’s personal limits and boundaries, nothing else is off-limits anymore, and you could find yourself having a willing personal servant - butler - assistant all at once.

4. do I have to be nice later or reward the person for the service they did?

no, not at all. you don’t owe anyone, anything back. that’s the beauty of it. if the person agrees to do it, it is because they want to, out of their free will and because they’d also enjoy to be used in that sense. that means you can just enjoy it as much as you want, and you don’t have to worry about rewarding them back. of course nothing stops you from doing so, if you’re feeling generous, but it’s not really something you’d have to do. some after care, like gentle caresses and sweet words, late at night in bed, for instance, could easily do the trick.

5. but i can’t be a bitch or too bossy, can I? 

of course you can! again, it’s always important that you discuss things ahead between you and your partner, but, in all honesty, many wouldn’t have a single problem with you acting that way. interestingly enough, these moments can turn out to be quite therapeutical and a fun way for you to let out whatever it is that your soul craves, even (or specially) if that means to be free to be a major bitch and go around like bossing your partner, or not feeling obliged to be forcefully nice or sweet all the time. and the truth is, your partner will probably love it, so it’s a win-win, really. the most important thing is: this is your safe space, your playground where you get to be free to do and experience things you normally wouldn’t, and none of what you do will ever affect the way that the person thinks of you. it’s all consensual, and a game which you both decided to play. so yes, being bossy and bitchy is not a problem at all. in fact, some people (like myself), might even find that extremely irresistible, charming, attractive and hot, so by all means, please, feel free do so.

6.  if I make someone do things for me, does it take away my independence? 

absolutely not. if you find someone willing to carry out these things for you it means that the person is doing that not because they think you’re incapable of doing these things on your own, or they think you’re too fragile, or that they could do things better than you, it’s quite the opposite. it means you’re being valued, admired, and cherished for being the independent, strong person that you are. it means, that the person wants to help you, not just with the chores but also that they want to help you strength even further your own sense of self and your independence and they want to submit to you, allowing you to have a fun outlet and an escape from menial tasks. that means you get to be more stimulated (having someone so willingly under your control) and, on top of that, have more time for yourself (for example, to relax in the couch, while bossing the other person around, and have more time to do something you want, like reading a book, or listen to music, etc). so yes, you can have more time for yourself, to the the things you love, while the house work still gets done: what else could be better? and, of course, you can always regulate the frequency in which your partner would serve you (e.g. how much or how often these things would happen), so you’re basically in control of things, and not loosing any autonomy. also, if there’s a type of house work you like to do, for instance, it doesn’t mean you have to stop it, quite the opposite: it means you can do it in a more efficient and fun way. for example, if you like to cook, you can go crazy in the kitchen and try out new recipes and things that you wouldn’t normally do, and get the other person to just act like a sous-chef, or go to the grocery and buy you the things you need, or clean up everything after you, no matter how big is the mess you leave behind. that’s just a silly example but it shows how, if anything, having someone under your service in that way can actually enrich your life and your personal growth.

7. so do you actually enjoy doing chores? like, is it fun or even sexy for you? seriously, for real? 

yes, for real. it’s a bit of a paradox, really. don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any cleaning ocd, far from that. to be entirely honest, although I love doing certain things such as cooking, I don’t have any fun - on my own, at least -  doing the dishes, or wiping things clean, or making the bed, etc etc. so what makes it fun and special for me? the fact that I’d be doing that to someone else, and not just for me. the fact that someone would enjoy taking advantage over my weak spots (like the fact that I love to be a sub) and make me carry out all these chores for her, like bossing me around in that aspect, that’s heaven for me. really. which means, I don’t really get a kick out of washing the dishes on its own, but I do love it when you have the power to make me do it for you, whenever you want it, and you use that power to your benefit. that’s whats so charming, hot, fun and cool about it. so yes, I know it might sound almost unbelievable for some, but yes, I really love it all, even if, for instance, I had to do something like clean up your entire room for you, without you even moving a single finger to help, and instead kept bossing me more, I’d not only do it, but also love every single freaking second of it. so this is real, and not just something one would agree to do to be “nice”.

Before listing some key reasons, let’s emphasize that chastity encompasses more than just caging a penis. Submissive men with great self-control can be perfectly chaste through obedience alone, a very impressive feat. Dominant men may also prefer a sub with an unusually small penis to have it fully visible. So with both options (caging and pure obedience) in mind, here goes:

Ownership: It reflects someone’s ownership over your body. He decides when it’s right for you to climax. Your orgasms are secondary. It is about the fact that you have ceded control over them to the man who owns your body. He can decide to have you beat off on a whim, or deny it for discipline.

Arousal: Chastity will make you unusually horny. Being unable to release that sexual tension makes you sexually charged. Your feelings of sexual attraction are revved up, and you become more open to new sexual experiences. Paradoxically, you feel more like a sexual person than when you were free. You are always in a state of readiness.

Realignment: Chastity leads to drastic changes in sexual behavior. Being unable to jerk off leads to exploring other forms of sexual activity, such as focusing on your ass, mouth, and nipples (and male breasts for those who have them). 

Self-Control: This is particularly true when chastity is achieved through pure obedience. For those unprepared for this leap, who cannot control their own urges, a cage is like a bike with training wheels. Your key-holder can help you learn the virtues of chastity, to the point where you are eventually able to exercise full self-control. Admittedly, some may never reach that point, and may need to remain caged.

Role Clarity: You enjoy being in a relationship characterized by well-defined and contrasting roles - Dominant and submissive, top and bottom. Sublimating a defining trait of masculine identity - seeing your penis small, limp, and useless except to pee - is psychologically potent. It helps you focus on serving your obviously more masculine partner, both in and out of bed. Especially when caged, it unmistakably signals no need for reciprocation. Your penis is clearly marked as not a sexual organ, focusing your partner’s attention on your ass, mouth, and nipples.

NWO- the new world is female!

Chastity

Chastity is a curious fetish. It’s curious because it’s a fetish that morphs into a lifestyle with relative ease. It’s also a fetish that is just as addicting for the wearer, as it is for the key holder. The part that makes chastity the most curious however, is just how quickly it can change the mindset of the wearer and key holder. It doesn’t take very long at all to recognize just how powerful D/s can be. Chastity does however, have a few learning curves to it, but they can also be a part of the fun.

When starting out with chastity, it can take a bit of time to get the right fit. There’s a lot of components that need to fit together just right. Too tight can mean serious health consequences, where as too loose might mean the cage falls off without the key. Taking the time to figure out the right fit will beneficial for longer term wear, and putting an end to pinching, or chafing.

It’s important that the base ring fits snugly, just before it cuts off blood circulation. When you’re first starting out, you’ll find that over time, you’ll need to gradually move to smaller rings as the body adjusts.  When you’re just starting out with chastity, the male body is going to rebel against it for the first few weeks. In fact, the device will likely not be able to be worn overnight because in the middle of the night, nocturnal erections will prevent him from sleeping. Not because it’s painful, but because the penis is trying to push the cage away from the body. This causes the scrotum to pull against the ring causing it to stretch. This stretching makes him feel a burning sensation that doesn’t really hurt, but it’s a strong enough feeling to prevent sleep.

Don’t worry, with a few repeated attempts to wear the device overnight, the scrotum will stretch and the burning will cease until the cage can be worn all night long. All attempted erections can be slept through, and he will awake as a very horny locked submissive. Being able to stay locked for a full night is a milestone. The stretching/burning sensation will come back when attempting to do 2 - 3 or more nights in a row, because the body is still not used to it fully. Eventually all this will stop, and he’ll be able to stay chaste indefinitely, without losing any sleep.

Chafing is another concern, because it’s a device attached to a moving part of the body, the ring will tend or irritate the skin and cause it to go raw. One good way to combat this, is to use a clear diaper rash ointment which works like a lube, or remove the cage until it heals then try again. One good brand of ointment is Penaten daily clear protection cream, its on Amazon. This can also be used inside the cage, because it repels moisture. It prevents any kind of infections from sweat and daily use while also allowing the penis to slide around in the cage instead of sticking to the sides. It makes it much easier for him to go pee, without struggling to line his penis up with the hole.

Over time as the body get used to the cage, the skin will stretch, and jumping down a size in the base ring may be a good idea. The cage will often begin to pull forward after a few days of wear, making pullout very possible, if not tempting. Moving to a smaller ring at this point, is a good idea.

Attempted erections over time will lessen to a degree. Not because he’s losing the ability to get hard, quite the opposite in fact, when he’s allowed to be hard, he’ll be harder than he’s ever been! However, his body will have learned that it cannot win against the cage, and will accept defeat. It will not try to get erect as often, which means, his penis will be flaccid most of the time.  If you look at the cage, and see where his flaccid penis is resting, it will likely be a short distance away front the end of the cage. This means, upgrading to a smaller cage would be beneficial.

The cage should fit around the flaccid penis so that it rests touching the end of the cage. Not straining against it. The object is not to cram the penis into the cage, so that even when its resting its backing up into his body. The cage should match his flaccid size, so that when he attempts to get hard, he’s gently denied. Causing him to squirm in frustration and submission.

One other important part to remember when fitting a chastity cage, is the space between the base ring and the cage itself. The gap should not be very wide, it should be wide enough to enable circulation. It should compress the scrotum, so that the balls are snugly held in place. If the gap is too wide, when he gets cold, or is active, or even sleeping, his testicles might slip through that gap, and that can cause pain or injury. Especially if one testicle can slip through and the other cannot.

It is for reasons exactly like that, that the submissive should have access to a chastity key at all times. It doesn’t mean he gets to keep a key on his key chain. But perhaps in a sealed, stapled and signed envelope, that can’t be opened without being noticed. It’s also something that can cause him to be extra horny, knowing the key is within his reach, but he can’t use it without his key holder knowing. So safety first, can be beneficial in more ways than one.

It can be a lot of fun to figure out the right size, and experiment with chastity, it’s really the perfect way to figure out if chastity is for you or not. Once you get past the fitting stages, and getting the body used to it, the real fun begins. It’s the point where, she truly gets to decide if and when, he gets unlocked.

A whole new psychological level unlocks with chastity. One very interesting aspect of chastity is that it’s often a male driven fantasy, but the benefits of it hit the female harder. After a few days of keeping him under lock and key, she often thinks about it throughout the day, and really enjoys the extra attention he’s trying to pour onto her. His puppy dog eyes, his eagerness to please, the housework gets done, dinner gets made and she just gets to relax. A few days of this, and she begins to feel his frustration. She can feel it like he feels it, but in a different way. She feels the power of it, where as, he feels the helplessness of it.

This power that she feels, makes her feel desired, while at the same time, having her own desire. It’s an exquisite mix of emotion that helps her to discover just how much power she has, which gives her the confidence to become a little more dominant. It doesn’t take her very long to realize she loves the idea of chastity. This is a realization that even the submissive hasn’t had yet. She’s leap frogged his understanding of chastity, and it has now become her idea and her fantasy, and no longer his.

It can actually take the submissive a substantially longer period of time to realize how powerful chastity really is. At first he may have been the one pushing it, trying to move faster, wanting her to be more dominant. However, once she truly gets it, she’s going to be taking control in ways he’s not yet comfortable with. Especially when it comes to sex, and realizing that he doesn’t actually get to even touch himself while pleasuring her. The intensity of that alone, can make a submissive realize what he’s gotten himself into!

This might make him become resistant, to be rebellious at first. He may even want out of the cage, just as an excuse to masturbate. It’s okay, if he seriously wants out, and doesn’t want to submit any further, let him out. Within a short period of time, a couple days, or a couple weeks, he’ll miss it. Once a submissive has had a small taste of chastity, especially well fitting chastity, it’s nearly impossible for him to ignore it for long. It calls to him. The feeling of being locked is a feeling that is so addicting, so powerful, that he’ll be begging to be locked again.

This time around he’ll understand more of what he’s gotten himself into, and will be more cooperative. Non sexual activities will become sexual for him. Every chore, will be an act of service, which he will hope for a reward from her. Everything he does, will be in hopes to receive an unlock. Going out for dinner and a movie, might get him feeling hopeful, until she teases him by saying she feels like a bath and a full body massage when they get home. He knows he’ll be locked all night, in service to her.