Bogdaj!

You may have watched Eurovision last year

Ok that’s over

You have every right to feel guilty

But don’t watch this year

I watched last year

I should not have

This contest ain’t worth legitimising a genocidal apartheid state like Israel

Boycott ESC 2026 for the love of god

Israel has been using Eurovision as propaganda for YEARS

Kick them out

And remember

Your song contest isn’t worth the life of a Palestinian or their erasure on the global stage

You watched last year? Ok

Boycott this year

I know you wanted me away But I am called to be the first Pope from the USA I heard that there's a special place where God talks directly to me every time I pray

I'm having holy dreams, of ruling the Holy See Hear Santa Monica, her son is calling me Won't make the bishops proud, the USCCB Will see their bro in Christ, I know they're gonna scream

"God, what will you do? You once were our boy, then you went to Peru," oh Fathers I'm on the balcony In my vestments, they elected me as the

I'll be treading closer to the

✨ OLD STATUS QUO ✨

But bigots will keep calling me the

High School Me: when am I ever going to actually have to know who Saint Augustine's mother is and why do I have to learn it

Me from the future: memorize this because in 2025 you're going to be able to make a really specific joke about the new American Pope based on a song by a known lesbian who is one of the biggest names in music that year