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@eurotastic
The reading comprehension on this website really does piss on the poor.
I'm considering bringing up death of the author in the context of eurovision songs but I feel like someone would accuse me of threatening to kill random eurovision artists lol
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Well either Lienkinheitin wins or we all have to kill ourselves with hammers. happy eurovision day everybody
Thanks to Bulgaria no hammer was required
Anyway this point goes for every song and every year:
if a three minute eurovision song requires the viewer to do research and homework to get its point across, the point was never there to begin with.
Either we see the meaning immediately in the performance or there is no meaning.
I know Lienkinheitin didn't get the result we were hoping for but it's a masterclass in getting the meaning of the song across just through staging.
The song is about horny jail, so they literally threw pete in horny jail with linda dangling the prison keys right outside the window. 10 out of 10 no complaints
Anyway this point goes for every song and every year:
if a three minute eurovision song requires the viewer to do research and homework to get its point across, the point was never there to begin with.
Either we see the meaning immediately in the performance or there is no meaning.
I honestly think Ferto might be an example of this?
I'm not really getting much of an anti consumerist message from the whole zoomer brainrot parts, in just seeing a quirky boy being all random,
Aaand once the song gets serious the lyrics on the video screen are partially cropped out by the camera angles? Nobody at my viewing party managed to read the lyrics at all so that's just like, objectively bad staging.
They could have tried a staging with Akylas literally chasing money, like just add more money imagery to the chaotic video screens, maybe do one of those glass cages with money flying everywhere. Also, subtitle the serious ballad part. It's eurovision, don't be subtle.
Anyway this point goes for every song and every year:
if a three minute eurovision song requires the viewer to do research and homework to get its point across, the point was never there to begin with.
Either we see the meaning immediately in the performance or there is no meaning.
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Oh and apparently people are really upset that romania didnt get enough jury points. (despite getting 3rd overall...)
can we be honest and say that a dated nightwish song encouraging (albeit consensual) sexual violence against a woman probably shouldnt be rewarded by the juries. uuuuhhhhh honestly i hate getting choked during sex and I hate how literally every woman is just expected to accept choking, like we're at a point where choking is completely mainstream rather than a bdsm fetish and I hate it.
no matter how much alexandra killed it with her performance the basic premise is going to repel a lot of people.
And now I'm getting replies from people telling me that actually the song has nothing to do with sex and it's just about anxiety and I should do some research before assuming that the choke me song performed by the leather bdsm goth gf is about bdsm sex.
The song is provocative on purpose! Obviously the intention is to be sexy and shocking, it's completely ridiculous to demand that people do homework to understand the actual meaning of a three minute eurovision song, that's not how this works. Alexandra chose a polarizing subject on purpose and I respect her for it, she was never going to win with this song but her performance was incredible.
It's fine that this song is an obvious bdsm reference and it's fine that a lot of people dislike the subject. It's not purity culture to point out that a widely disliked kink is going to scare off a lot of voters, especially juries who are generally paying more attention to lyrics than televoters.
We literally dont have to be dishonest about any of this!
What are you talking about? The βchoke meβ song not even being about choking in a sexual context but a metaphor for anxiety and bad thoughts that being overwhelmed by strong emotions. It has literally nothing to do with the thing youβre complaining about.
Also just because you donβt enjoy a sex practice (which is absolutely fine just to be clear) itβs problematic of other people to do so and sing about it? Ya think Rihanna shouldβve been cancelled for SM back in the day as well because not everyone enjoys SM dynamics? Iβm sorry it just sounds like purity culture talking points.
Choking as an act of sexual violence happens because men disrespect sexual boundaries of the women theyβre sleeping with which resulted out of years of living in a patriarchial system, not because some romanian girl has it as her song title for a song thatβs not about sex at all.
Oh my fucking god i never said she should be cancelled, i just talked about the reasons why people found the song off putting, causing a low jury score.
Oh and apparently people are really upset that romania didnt get enough jury points. (despite getting 3rd overall...)
can we be honest and say that a dated nightwish song encouraging (albeit consensual) sexual violence against a woman probably shouldnt be rewarded by the juries. uuuuhhhhh honestly i hate getting choked during sex and I hate how literally every woman is just expected to accept choking, like we're at a point where choking is completely mainstream rather than a bdsm fetish and I hate it.
no matter how much alexandra killed it with her performance the basic premise is going to repel a lot of people.
Anyway I told my boyfriend that i refuse to go to sleep until i have the full semi results because if someone got a double zero it would be really funny. and by someone i mean azerbaku
No double zeroes in the semis BUT i am literally going to wake him up tomorrow and immediately tell him all about the swiss nq anomaly
Oh my god felicia got her semi televote ass beat by vanilla ninja, boy george and those geriatric portuguese boys. sweden bombing and eastern european winning? For better or for worse, the early 2000s are back
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Some statistics from Semi 1:
-Overall top 3 Israel, poland, finland (FUCKING POLAND OVER FINLAND???)
-Televote top 3: israel, moldova, serbia
-Jury top 3: poland, finland, israel
- sweden televote 13th!!!!!!!!!!! Swedish NQ!!!!!!!!
-belgium televote 14th, huge nq
-georgia dead last
Some statistics from Semi 2:
- Bulgaria combined winner
- jury top 3: australia, denmark and norway
- televote top 3: bulgaria, romania, albania
-Albania jury NQ
-Czechia televote NQ
- absolute voting system fuckery: Switzerland got 9th with juries and 9th with televoters, but they scored 11th in the overall score which means NQ.
Oh my god devastating news from last Thursday: armenia came 14th and bombed the televote even harder than they bombed the jury vote. Why do bad things happen to good people
and azerbaku came 15th, dead last with literally 47 points less than armenia. Is anyone surprised
Oh my god devastating news from last Thursday: armenia came 14th and bombed the televote even harder than they bombed the jury vote. Why do bad things happen to good people
My hot take is that televoters using multiple payment methods or multiple sim cards to vote isn't voter fraud and it isnt cheating - it's more like getting the most out of the voting system as it currently works.
Even if you ban all advertising for specific songs or discourage people from voting the maximum amount of times or whatever else, lots of televoters with a strong agenda and functional brains are going to figure out how to maximize their results, thus leading to one person being able to vote 100+ times on multiple devices.
the thing with televoting is that you can literally never control peoples motivations for voting, so if you really want eurovision to only be about music and nothing else, jury only is the way forward. Except that would suck and be really boring so I guess were stuck in this Hell World forever
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israel wins the televote (boo!), australia wins the jury vote (very low televote though), and Finland gets second in both categories and wins the whole thing. Hows that
bulgaria was nowhere near my radar, i thought they might get like, 7th. an absolute eurovision miracle, i think this win could age really, really well, it might be the eastern european paradigm shift that weve been waiting for
Anyway if there is any justice in the world Finland finally gets their second win, exactly 20 years after their first one
I'm not going to analyze the song or anything, it's already the definition of Eurovision perfection and it's pretty much guaranteed a top 3 placement with both juries and televoters.
Anyway anyway this is post 2023 eurovision that we're talking about so we already know there's no justice in the world but I still have a tiny bit of hope left
Uuuuhhhhh so I normally take pride in being able to spot a fanwank from a mile away but in 2026 i was the fan wanking. Or maybe the fan getting wanked. can you blame me when they were so sexy though.
As much as i adore lienkinheitin there's something reassuring about finland getting the exact same score with both the juries and the televote? like, id rather get disappointed by both than fucked over by one? sixth place is sixth place, can't really argue about it. At least they got the swedish douze so my 10 televotes were used well