Lancelot

I think it’s very #important to recognize that the joke made about women’s u.s. team being laughed at by the whole locker room is an instance of horrific misogyny yes, but also not necessarily indicative of who HATES women or the whole USA team being “bad apples” but instead an indictment of the larger hockey culture which requires complacency in misogyny and a disregard for any sense of social awareness on every level. I am disgusted but truly, deeply, unsurprised

Also Canadians saying “my team would never do this!” You are blind and setting yourself up to be made into a fool of course they would. Their socialized healthcare will not stop these players from assimilating into the conservatism of the sport. There Are No Woke Hockey Players

Ilya buying a label maker with a Cyrillic alphabet and labeling the whole house because while Shane’s gotten good at pronunciation, his reading in Russian is terrible, probably because he doesn’t see the letters often enough. Everything gets a label. Refrigerator(холодильник). Hair brush(щетка для волос). Cabinet(кабинет) Everything. It takes Ilya hours and he uses two rolls of label maker tape and at first he does genuinely do it to be helpful but towards the end he makes a label that says Husband(муж) on it and sticks it on his forehead because he can and he just waits for Shane to come home from whatever photoshoot he had to do that day.

I know we’ve talked about this before but the retroactive realization for Shane Hollander that Ilya has been his future husband the entire time must have sent that boy spinning. What do you mean I introduced myself to my future husband. What do you mean my husband was there standing beside me the day I got drafted. What do you mean I jerked off to thoughts of my husband on the most important day of my entire life up to then. What do you mean my husband took my virginity. My husband and I watched each other grow up. My husband and I fell in love for the first time together. My husband was my first ex. My husband has been the most consistent, sensual, irritating, understanding, solid, loving presence in my entire life. Since I became a man, the thoughts I have reached for to comfort myself or bring myself pleasure have been those of my husband. I memorized the moles on my future husband’s body before I fully understood the wants and needs of my own. My husband taught me how to pleasure a man by pleasuring me. The first person I willingly came out to was my husband. My friends have NEVER known me at a time in my life when I was not in love with my husband.

Honestly? Honestly the idea of Ilya Rozanov sitting himself down at twelve years old and saying I have GOT to get out of this country. It killed my mother. It's going to kill me. And then growing up a little bit and realizing some Things about himself and saying I have GOT to get out of this country. I have tried and tried and for some reason people keep Knowing What I Am. Ilya, young bisexual man with an apparently pretty clocky affect to his speaking voice. A strong young man with a natural and lovely flamboyance in him, a sweetness he tries to smother and the ability to play hockey like it was bestowed upon him by GOD. I've GOT to get out of here, he thinks to himself. And then he leaves (but not really) does some more growing up and he falls in love only he can't let himself be in love because the lead weight of this country is still tied to him and he thinks I have GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. Then his father dies and the man he loves says "Come with me" and Ilya says I am NEVER going back!! I will wear my mother's cross and I will think of her every day and she will forgive me for never visiting her grave because her beautiful boy got OUT. I will go to a place where I am loved by a man A MAN who I love more than I ever thought I was allowed. Who holds my face and my hands and my heart. I will find a home for myself in his arms. I will never go fucking back.

the haus throws a conclave whenever the main kegster planner(s) graduate