the ocean burned

Kuroo and his beefy boyfriend

I frequently find myself at a loss when I discover the mindset that the Jedi Council, the Jedi Order, and even Obi-Wan provided a particularly good environment for Anakin to learn/grow up in. By comparing Anakin in TPM to AoTC, I believe it will become quite clear by the change in Anakin that the Temple provided an inadequate place for him to grow. 

In TPM Anakin is a very self-confident boy. He is aware of his capabilities and limitations, expresses his opinion firmly, and, as a rule, doesn’t allow his detractors to get him down, or put him down. To list some examples:

He has the courage to initiate a conversation with Padme

In the novelisation, he even says that he’s going to marry her.

He stands up to Sebulba and confidently imitates a conversation with Qui-Gon

He invites perfect strangers to his home.

He calls Qui-Gon out on being a Jedi

He calls Qui-Gon out on slavery

He insists that he can win a podrace, and defends himself when his abilities are questioned

He ignores the ridicule of the children in his community

He talks back to the Council, not rudely, but forcefully.

He asks Ric Olie about piloting and is told he “catches on quick.”

He says he’s going to “see them all,” when he asks about star systems

He refuses to let people destroy his dreams-hard to do when you’re a slave.

He even talks back to and defends himself to Watto-his owner.

Clearly, Anakin is a very confident, and self-possessed individual. He states his opinions firmly, and defends them with conviction. Let’s compare that to AoTC Anakin:

Is far more nervous around Padme (which can admittedly be chalked up to hormones.)

Is shot down hard by Obi-Wan when he expresses his opinions-He does not ever really try and defend himself 

Obi-Wan actually seems surprised he stands up as much as he does-clearly it is a rare occurrence that Anakin states his mind like that.

Anakin looks scared of what he’s done when he backs down

He looks timid in front of the Council-Far more so than in TPM

He is told “don’t do anything without first discussing it with either” Obi-Wan or the Council.

He just accepts Padme’s harsh criticism when he points out that she should discuss security concerns with him: Despite the fact that she is in the wrong, he does nothing to defend himself.

He expresses the opinions of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and mace, far more than he does his own. He actually seems afraid to give his opinions, as a rule.

There is a vast difference then between TPM!Anakin and AoTC!Anakin. The former defended his beliefs vehemently. The latter is afraid to even express them. Anakin only rants about Obi-Wan when Padme gives a hint of listening; it’s clear this has been pent-up in him for ages, but he hasn’t been able to let it out. Clearly, no one cares what he thinks or feels. When Padme shoots him down over security, he takes it meekly, but when she expressed doubt with him in TPM over his ability to win the Boonta, he just brushed it off, and told her “he’d win this time.” Before, in TPM, he said what he thought, now he just says “Master so-and-so thinks…” He feels uncomfortable saying what he really thinks. He honestly was more comfortable speaking up as a slave, than as a Jedi. Even just the body language difference can tell you that he’s gone from sure of himself to intensely insecure.

This is Anakin in TPM sticking up to his owner:

This is Anakin in AoTC, free, ostensibly, with his teacher:

It’s like chalk and cheese. One boy is sure of himself, the other looks brow-beaten. What could have caused such a massive shift in self-esteem? Well, a classic cause would be bullying. A child who is different, for whatever reason, gets humiliated, ostracized, beat-up, talked down to, and loses their self-confidence. I don’t doubt the same thing happened to Anakin. He was from the Outer Rim. He began his training late. He was different, unnaturally gifted. I’ve no doubt that was rough, and clearly he wasn’t given any kind of support to help with that, rather he was given the opposite. Hence, he is insecure. 

I would have thought that it was bad writing too. However, the theme of the apathetic inadequacy of the Jedi is carried from TPM through to RoTS. In TPM, Mace Windu tests Anakin only as a formality, because “he’s too old.” When Qui-Gon insists that Anakin be tested, Windu just waves a hand and says “bring him before us then.” He’s pretty much done with it all. Unsurprisingly, the Council then rejects Anakin, (while talking about Anakin as if he wasn’t even there.) That’s not really the worst bit though, when Qui-Gon points out that Anakin has nowhere to go, they don’t express any concern for his well-being, his education, his future, even though he’s a freed slave with few options, and no money: He’s a child at their mercy. Even when this fact is pointed out to them they just say he’s Qui-Gon’s “ward” now to do with as he pleases, just don’t train him. How callous! I mean, would you do that to a poor boy with no prospects who needed your help desperately? 

By the time TPM ends, Anakin’s behaviour is already beginning to foreshadow what happens in AoTC. He’s picked up on all this and this is how he looks when he finds out Obi-Wan is going to be the one to train him:

This isn’t just grief from Qui-Gon’s death; Anakin’s expression, the above expression, comes as a direct result of Obi-Wan’s promise. Anakin’s grief is enhanced by his insecurity over his future. As I pointed out in my post The Team: Built on Weak Foundations, Anakin knew that Obi-Wan initially didn’t believe he should be trained, and was even jealous of him due to Qui-Gon’s actions in the Council room. Anakin had every reason to be afraid that things weren’t going to go well, and they didn’t. Yes, he and Obi-Wan became friends, which was nice, but he was never allowed to feel safe in his environment at the Temple, because of the Council’s apathy, even antipathy toward him which most of the other Jedi would have picked up on and followed like Lemmings. After all, why wouldn’t they do what the wise and noble Council does?  Hence, we get Anakin’s low self-esteem in AoTC.

By the time RoTS comes around, Anakin is doing a bit better. He has command of his own men. He’s no longer an apprentice. He’s gained confidence now that he’s needed as a General in the GAR, and he’s been acknowledged to be a really good one which also helps: He’s the Hero With no Fear. As a result, he pushes back a bit more, but the underlying timidity he has with the Council doesn’t quite go away:

While, Anakin starts to really express a lot of his deeply rooted anger that stems from way back in his childhood, both with the Jedi and from slaver, in RoTS, and the Council takes a lot of it, (ignoring Operation Knighthood), he still doesn’t get one of the things he desperately needs, and craves: Validation and respect. Anakin honestly just needs them to tell him he did a good job, and that they’re proud of him, but the Council can’t quite seem to manage it. He might get “arrogant.” (Oh, please. He wouldn’t be so keen to prove what he can do, if you’d just say “you did well, kid!) By the time RoTS comes around, Obi-Wan is the only one who ever really tells him he’s doing a good job, and therefore he is placed in the position of fielding between Anakin and the Council, as the relationship continues to break down. 

I mean, think about it. The kid is all alone on a strange planet, surrounded by people he hardly knows, and the ONE GUY who appeared to be in his corner is dead, and no one will tell him what’s going on, or what will happen to him. it’s been at LEAST two weeks - to allow for Padme to consolidate her hold on the planet well enough for the Supreme Chancellor to visit, him to be ELECTED, and to hold talks with  the Gungans as to how to include their voice in Naboo’s government from now on. Likely it’s longer. And in all that time, ALL that TIME, no one says ONE single WORD about what’s going to happen to Anakin going forward. 

He can’t go back to Tattooine. Padme isn’t offering him a place on Naboo, she likely thinks that he’s already part of the Jedi and wouldn’t be receptive to her offer even if she did consider it. 

Obi-wan has his head up his own ass and can’t be bothered to consider any feelings other than his own. He doesn’t get that with his new teaching gig, come responsibilities toward the well being (including emotional well being) of his charge. So he’s off in his own head during the funeral, and Anakin is forced to speak up. 

and Jake Loyd is perfect here. Anakin’s voice is *resigned* as he askes the question. you can tell that the anxieties have already burned themselves out, and there’s nothing left but resigned acceptance. there’s no use fighting what comes next, because there’s nothing left to fight. 

It’s only THEN that Obi-wan turns. Turns and tells Anakin that he has permission to train Anakin as a Jedi. Then he promises Anakin that he WILL be a Jedi, as if that makes it all alright. 

signs that your family is abusive:

you feel the urge to hide from them whenever you’re vulnerable

you cannot bear the idea of them seeing you cry

when you’re hurt or in pain, you don’t go to them because you feel they’ll tell you that you deserved it or that it was your fault

After Obi-Wan’s terrible advice about his prophetic dreams in AotC, Anakin doesn’t got to him about them in RotS. The ‘advice’ he receives from Yoda is basically to suck it up because grief and fear are wrong.

you don’t feel like you can confide in them, either because they don’t seem to care, or try to control how you act, or yell at you and punish you, or use the information against you

After Obi-Wan dismisses Anakin’s concerns about his mother, allying with the Hutts, the Jedi’s role in the war, the Jedi’s behavior regarding the Chancellor, etc., Anakin stops coming to him with his problems. He also keeps his marriage a secret out of fear of Obi-Wan and the Jedi’s reaction.

you feel very self-conscious around them and keep expecting criticism and insults

Look at the way he sits in AotC and that tiny flinch when Obi-Wan tears into him.

you can’t tell them about your struggles because you already know they’ll side against you

See my previous comments about Anakin keeping secrets from  Obi-Wan.

you keep things in your life secret from them because you have a feeling they would ridicule, humiliate, and judge you if they knew, or take everything away from you

Same as above

you feel scared of letting them know when they hurt you

After Obi-Wan fakes his death in the Deception Arc of TCW, Anakin is told by both Yoda and Obi-Wan that the pain he feels is his own fault. 

you feel scared and guilty when you so much as think about them in a bad way

Anakin rants against Obi-Wan repeatedly in AotC, often times while crying and immediately denying that he feels what he just said.

you feel the urge to remind yourself of all the things they did for you, whenever something bad comes up, to be sure that you’re seeing them the way they want to be seen by you

See previous comment.

you’re scared of being accused of being a burden to them

Obi-Wan and the Council make it clear in TPM that they don’t actually want Anakin and that his presence is a severe inconvenience to them.  When Obi-Wan complains in AotC that Anakin will be the death of him, Anakin is clearly hurt.

you’re scared to hold them responsible for things they did to you, because you know they would argue otherwise, and insist they had full right to do what they did, or that you made it up

See previous statement

you have the inner sense of dread that nothing you ever do or say will be taken seriously by them, and your life will always look like a joke to them

you dream of living far away from them and feel guilty for wanting to cut them from your life

Anakin wants to leave the Jedi, he says as much to Ahsoka, but clearly feels to afraid to actually do it.

you don’t feel like you’re really important in comparison to them, it feels like it’s better to just step aside and let them be important, your life doesn’t matter as much anyway

In RotS, Anakin says that he wants more, but is aware that he shouldn’t. He knows his needs are wrong and selfish and he should feel ashamed.

you’re worried about how your every action might affect their life, their reputation and social standing

you feel that they’re ashamed of you and you’re trying your best not to bring further shame on the family

Anakin apologizes constantly in AotC.

you feel like you’ll owe them for the rest of your life and nothing you ever do will be enough to erase the debt, and this fills you with dread and feeling of being trapped

The Jedi freed Anakin from slavery. The Jedi took him on even when they clearly didn’t want to. Obi-Wan potentially put his career on the line to train Anakin even though he obviously didn’t like him. Anakin can never repay that debt and they make sure he knows it.

you don’t count on their help when you’re in trouble, you’re scared of them finding out and punishing you for being in trouble in the first place

Anakin doesn’t tell Obi-Wan about what happened on Tatooine. He doesn’t tell him about Padme. He deliberately with holds information about his relationship troubles, even when asked about them.

you don’t count on them sharing their resources with you, you know you have to be grateful for how much they’ve given you already and feel like you have no right to ask for anything more, even if you need it

you can’t feel warmth or safety when surrounded by family, instead you wish you didn’t have to be there, and seek a place to hide and protect yourself

holidays spent with family are just painful and something you try to endure instead of enjoy

you can’t imagine a world where you’re free and not defined by these people

Anakin has a wife he could easily choose to be with, but he stays because he can’t imagine not being a Jedi.

Now, I’m not saying that Obi-Wan and the Jedi set out to be abusive, but that was clearly the end result. What they set out to be was in control. Anakin was too old. He was too powerful. He was too dangerous. He needed to be contained. Obi-Wan says as much to Yoda and Mace in AotC. Yoda says as much to Anakin in TCW Deception Arc.

Like the Jedi Council had no idea how to deal with the trauma of being a former slave. It was Anakin’s choice to turn, it always was, but they infinitely worsened the process due to their clumsiness and prioritizing Anakin the weapon over Anakin the person.

#other-as-object; other-as-threat

#to be cintrolled and contained and shaped to a specific purpose#and to hell with what the consequences to the other are

Beru, Breha, Bail, and Owen saved thr galaxy by loving and raising the twins to be good people. Not good Jedi.

Good Jedi lie and manipulate their lineage into patricide and murder. Good Jedi go hide in the swamp and the sand while escaped and rejected padawans run and hide and built hope in rebellion. Good Jedi refuse to kill, but trained the next generation to kill their mistakes.

Luke was never a Good Jedi. He was the Return of the Jedi because he choose love, light, and trust above dogma. He wouldn’t kill his father. A man he never knew. A man who cut off his hand. A man more machine than human. A man with so much blood on his hands oceans run red.

We should have seen him use the Jedi Code to justify his atrocities, just to fuck with the Jedi for fun.

"Oh, you're sad about the murdered younglings? Mourn them do not. Miss them do not <3"

"Oh, you're sad about the genocide of your entire religious order? Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force <3"

"Oh, you're sad about the destruction of your culture, and your whole way of life? Attachment leads to jealousy. Worrying about what we can't control and clinging to what we think is ours is wasted time and energy. The only constant in life is change <3

"Oh, you're traumatized and you fear what's gonna happen to you next? Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering <3"

And he should have said all this shit with the nastiest, most gleeful smile on his face while staring directly at Yoda

But then you reach your early twenties and you’re suddenly like HOLD UP HE WAS PRACTICALLY A KID

And then “Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader at 23,” suddenly. Just. Becomes a whole lot worse.

“Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader when he was two years younger than Obi-Wan was when he was knighted.”

“Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader at the same age Luke was in ROTJ.”